Lessons, chores and dinner done by 6 pm?

[momma2three]

I for one expect my dh to go to work and earn an income. Is it wrong for him to expect a clean house and a meal?

 

 

Maybe expect is the wrong word. I appreciate his hard work outside the home and in return I try to make his life easier. He appreciates my work in the home and does his best to provide a nice home and the things we need.

 

When DH is at work, his job is earning money. When I am the only adult at home, it it my job to take care of the home. When there are two adults at home, we are both responsible for the home. This whole watching tv while complaining that I'm still doing housework would NOT fly at our house. OTOH, I am starting to sympathize with him more now that I see the ages of the kids and their schedules.

 

FWIW, I'm in favor of teens sleeping late. There's lots of research that teens need this. But that means the schedule needs to change. How about a rule about no housework between 6 and 9. Mom and Dad retire at 9, and then it's chore time for the two older ones (who I assume are not going to bed at 9 if they're sleeping so late). They are in charge of dishes and straightening up. If you wake up the next morning to a mess, OP, then you wake those kids up too and make them do last night's chores.

[kwickimom]

I for one expect my dh to go to work and earn an income. Is it wrong for him to expect a clean house and a meal?

 

 

Maybe expect is the wrong word. I appreciate his hard work outside the home and in return I try to make his life easier. He appreciates my work in the home and does his best to provide a nice home and the things we need.

 

yes this. I think her DH is showing a bit of an attitude but if I got up and worked at 4 or 5 am and he and the kids didn't do anything until 11 I'd be a little upset too. Hes probably very frustrated.

[Haiku]

I for one expect my dh to go to work and earn an income. Is it wrong for him to expect a clean house and a meal?

 

 

Sometimes it is. Schooling three kids is a major commitment. If the kids' education is the dh's priority, then he needs to accept that not everything can be done perfectly.

 

Looking at it from another angle, it is reasonable to expect dh to work all day and then have to come home and complete ALL the chores, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc? Of course not. No one would expect that. So why is it ok to expect that of the wife? Because she's home all day? There seems to be a perception that being "home" means lots of time to get stuff done. No, it doesn't, not when you're schooling three kids.

 

My dh is pretty laid-back about the housekeeping standards, but he does occasionally get frustrated. I remind him that homeschooling entails actually living in the home day in and day out, not cleaning it once and going away all day. Should my kids be better about picking up after themselves? Yes. Should I perhaps spend a little less time on TWTM and a little more time picking up the house? Yes. But you know what? My dh doesn't perfectly manage his time, either, both at home and at work. Could you imagine me getting on my husband because his office at work isn't perfectly tidy or because he had to work late because he didn't use his time at work the way I think he should? And this is completely aside from the fact that a home is a home and is the responsibility of everyone who lives there, not just the ones who spend the most time there.

 

As another poster said, wishin' ain't gettin'. It's fine for a dh to have opinions on the house and schooling, but if all he's willing to do is expect and criticize without actually working to make it happen, well then ... pshhht.

 

Tara

[desertmum]

Not by 6pm...or even.

 

However I am decluttering the house. I am hoping this will make cleaning easier.

[Parrothead]

Op, after reading this thread and especially your replies I honestly have to side with your dh here.

 

There is no reason that during 11 hours you and the kids can't get done what needs doing. The fact that you refuse to do anything between the hours of 7 and 11 is just out there. At the very least you should be supervising the kids getting up, dressed, breakfasted and chores done. They should be ready to start school at a reasonable hour - say 9am. This is pretty much when the rest of the world starts work.

 

I'm not one that bows down to my dh with his expectations. I'd pretty much tell him to go blow his expectations out of his ___ if he tried telling me that he expected this, that or the other.

 

On the other hand I have high expectations of myself. I'm privileged enough to be able to stay home. With that privilege comes responsibility. And it is my responsibility to at a minimum have the house neat and tidy (it is actually a matter of pride for me), my child on the road to a great education and dinner plans taken care of. Sometimes that means dh grills or picks up a box of chicken - even in the middle of his work week.

 

You don't describe family. You describe five people living in the same house. Yes, everyone should learn to be responsible for his/her own messes. Yet at the same time everyone should be pitching in to help each other out. Your eldest dd being "pretty much on her own" is quite concerning. Your dh should be helping take care of dinner dishes after he eats the dinner someone prepared for him. Your kids should be pitching in to help out during the day.

 

 

 

 

 

(PS. My cleaning lady comes in once a week to do the heavy cleaning that most people do on the weekends. She is here because I'm educating both dd and myself - I'm back to school, running to lessons, doing the cooking and laundry and general chores, and often yard work. There are days I barely have time to breathe. And now I have to get to it.)

[momma2three]

FWIW, I'm in favor of teens sleeping late. There's lots of research that teens need this. But that means the schedule needs to change. How about a rule about no housework between 6 and 9. Mom and Dad retire at 9, and then it's chore time for the two older ones (who I assume are not going to bed at 9 if they're sleeping so late). They are in charge of dishes and straightening up. If you wake up the next morning to a mess, OP, then you wake those kids up too and make them do last night's chores.

 

to reply to myself (how rude! :glare:) I think the major issue is that you guys are all on a different schedule. There are two solutions: get on the same schedule, or make your different schedules work for you.

 

In your shoes, I would still wake at 7, make lunch and dinner, do your chore, chill a little. Kids wake at 10, have breakfast, do the dinner and breakfast dishes while you do your setup. School at 11 and eat lunch whenever while still schooling. Do not miss afternoon activities! At 5:30, everyone makes the living room (or whatever room DH wants to chill in) clean and you reheat dinner. Dinner is served at 6, everyone retires to the living room for relaxation. Mom and Dad and perhaps the youngest (don't know when they are going to bed) retire to their rooms, and the two older kids stay up and finish their chores, including cleaning up anything that was quickly shoved out of the way in the living room and the dinner dishes.

 

Then, as I said, if their chores are not done, they are pulled out of bed at 7 when you do your inspection to finish.

[DawnM]

:lol::lol::lol:

[elegantlion]

Sometimes it is. Schooling three kids is a major commitment. If the kids' education is the dh's priority, then he needs to accept that not everything can be done perfectly.

 

Looking at it from another angle, it is reasonable to expect dh to work all day and then have to come home and complete ALL the chores, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc? Of course not. No one would expect that. So why is it ok to expect that of the wife? Because she's home all day? There seems to be a perception that being "home" means lots of time to get stuff done. No, it doesn't, not when you're schooling three kids.

 

 

 

There was a long discussion about the above some time ago. I worked for many years before ds was born. I equate homeschooling to a job, in that I give it priority tx during the day. Some people can switch gears during the day, throwing in laundry, folding towels while teaching, whatever. I can't. My brain takes a wide berth in turn around time. I wouldn't take my household chores to the office, my office just happens to be at home. I also have a highly distractable ds, so if I leave the room his attention wanders. He's better, but still gets distracted.

 

I tried doing it all, everything got done, but only half well. So now in the day the focus is on education. It doesn't take all day, but a good chunk of it. I'm behind on admin work because I've been doing stuff around the house. We do try to pick up after ourselves during the day, and we're fairly neat people anyway. But some days it's chaos. My house will still get dirty in four years when ds is done with high school. I can affect the biggest change in him during that time. He's more important than dust.

[melissad2]

I for one expect my dh to go to work and earn an income. Is it wrong for him to expect a clean house and a meal?

 

 

Maybe expect is the wrong word. I appreciate his hard work outside the home and in return I try to make his life easier. He appreciates my work in the home and does his best to provide a nice home and the things we need.

 

Well, no its not wrong. I just could never imagine my husband putting it to me that he expects a meal waiting on him, house to be spic and span and school done. But as I said before we have a different kind of relationship. My dh likes to work and never ever sits still. He often tells me to go rest and he will clean the kitchen or fold the laundry, in turn I don't care if he leaves to go fishing after the kids are in bed :) thats how we roll. I also work at least one weekend a month FWIW.

[justamouse]

Op, after reading this thread and especially your replies I honestly have to side with your dh here.

 

There is no reason that during 11 hours you and the kids can't get done what needs doing. The fact that you refuse to do anything between the hours of 7 and 11 is just out there. At the very least you should be supervising the kids getting up, dressed, breakfasted and chores done. They should be ready to start school at a reasonable hour - say 9am. This is pretty much when the rest of the world starts work.

 

I'm not one that bows down to my dh with his expectations. I'd pretty much tell him to go blow his expectations out of his ___ if he tried telling me that he expected this, that or the other.

 

On the other hand I have high expectations of myself. I'm privileged enough to be able to stay home. With that privilege comes responsibility. And it is my responsibility to at a minimum have the house neat and tidy (it is actually a matter of pride for me), my child on the road to a great education and dinner plans taken care of. Sometimes that means dh grills or picks up a box of chicken - even in the middle of his work week.

 

You don't describe family. You describe five people living in the same house. Yes, everyone should learn to be responsible for his/her own messes. Yet at the same time everyone should be pitching in to help each other out. Your eldest dd being "pretty much on her own" is quite concerning. Your dh should be helping take care of dinner dishes after he eats the dinner someone prepared for him. Your kids should be pitching in to help out during the day.

 

 

 

 

 

(PS. My cleaning lady comes in once a week to do the heavy cleaning that most people do on the weekends. She is here because I'm educating both dd and myself - I'm back to school, running to lessons, doing the cooking and laundry and general chores, and often yard work. There are days I barely have time to breathe. And now I have to get to it.)

 

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

With three kids at the ages you have, there's really no reason that the house can't be picked up-they should be cleaning up after themselves at that point and not burdening you with it, what you can do together is vacuum, dishes, laundry. But still, at this point, you should be sitting with your feet up and having a clean house because with everyone pitching in, there's not much left. You're a team, the house is teamwork.

[justamouse]

This is exactly how I am. I sometimes try to multitask and I find it makes me very cranky and short with the kids.

 

Luckily my husband views homeschooling as a job. And it IS a job. There are people paid to do that job. Why is it that because I'm not being paid it's no longer a job?

 

I equate it as a job also, BUT the ages of her kids-if you use it, put it back where it belongs-if they are following that simple rule there should be nothing for her to do because everyone is naturally picking up after themselves. At that point, throw a load of laundry in, after luch Child can load the dishes while everyone else regroups to schoolwork. There's not a ton of people there. My 10 year old twins load the dishwasher in 3 minutes.

[2squared]

I get annoyed when my dh has to work in the evenings. Why? Because he doesn't get his job done during the day. I wouldn't get annoyed except he starts his work day at 8:30. If he went in an hour earlier, he would have a full additional 5 hours per week.

 

I get up earliest in our family, and I go to bed last. I get up with the little guy. So, yes, I do get a little annoyed that my dh isn't better about managing his time during the day.

 

I can see why a dh would be a little annoyed if his family was sleeping in every day while he was working. I can see why he would want to come home to a calm house at the end of the day.

 

My guess is that if the family was up and working at a more reasonable hour, the dh wouldn't be upset if everything didn't get done during the day.

[txmom23]

You don't do some of the chores in the morning because it's not your job/mess, and your dh doesn't do chores in the evening because it's not his job/mess?

 

Everyone in my home does jobs and chores that are not they're own doing. It's part of being a family.

 

Maybe you guys should divide up all of the chores and regardless of the time someone is up or home they are expected to be done during the day/week. We actually do a really good job of doing the most cleaning on the weekends when all of us are working together.

 

We have divided up the chores. We rotate the chores among the four of us. Laundry, floors, unload dw and take out the trash. One day I'll do laundry, the next floors and so on... I could/would do all the chores in the morning between 8 and 11, but that doesn't help my kids. It's not because it's their job or mess. It's their day to do that chore it's part of the rotation. The problem is, if the person who needs to unload hasn't, the dirty dishes pile up. If everyone hasn't taken their dirty clothes to the laundry room, that person has nothing to wash. If the kids have left stuff all over the floor, the person with floors that day can't sweep.

 

I do tell the kids throughout the day to pick up. Then guess what? They start playing again with something else. The house is in constant use.

[Melinda in VT]

We have divided up the chores. We rotate the chores among the four of us. Laundry, floors, unload dw and take out the trash. One day I'll do laundry, the next floors and so on... I could/would do all the chores in the morning between 8 and 11, but that doesn't help my kids. It's not because it's their job or mess. It's their day to do that chore it's part of the rotation. The problem is, if the person who needs to unload hasn't, the dirty dishes pile up. If everyone hasn't taken their dirty clothes to the laundry room, that person has nothing to wash. If the kids have left stuff all over the floor, the person with floors that day can't sweep.

 

I do tell the kids throughout the day to pick up. Then guess what? They start playing again with something else. The house is in constant use.

 

Rotating sounds like a good idea, but it doesn't always work. For example, my oldest son always unloads the dishwasher because he is the first one up and gets it unloaded before anyone else has breakfast. When we try taking turns, it often doesn't get done until dishes have backed up.

[Haiku]

The house is in constant use.

 

Yup. That's one of the trade-offs of homeschooling. I don't think it's reasonable or fair to expect the kids to be homeschooled but also expect that the house look like the kids are gone all day.

 

Tara

[txmom23]

Did you ever decide if you were going to move into the suburbs and shorten your DH's commute? :

 

He hasn't talked to the bosses yet. My hope is, they will discuss working from home, maybe leasing commercial space closer to our home, in lieu of paying him more to move. Although, if they are willing to pay him enough, I think we would be willing to move now.

 

If he goes in there, gets the promotion and they aren't willing to pay him enough to move, or consider the alternatives...he is commuting. He doesn't want to work anywhere else. We can't afford two homes. Neither of us want to sale the country house. At that point, the ball is in his court.

[kwickimom]

Yup. That's one of the trade-offs of homeschooling. I don't think it's reasonable or fair to expect the kids to be homeschooled but also expect that the house look like the kids are gone all day.

 

Tara

 

Yes you can. It shouldnt take more than 30 mins to run around the house and pick up at 5:30 so at 6 the house looks presentable. I have 3 kids ages 9, 6, and 3 and I can make my house look picked up by 6. It is not perfect but there is no clutter, no stuff on the floor, and all the surfaces are clear and wiped down. it is absolutely possible for 3 older kids to pick up after themselves and clear up clutter by a certain time.

[mom2myboys]

We have divided up the chores. We rotate the chores among the four of us. Laundry, floors, unload dw and take out the trash. One day I'll do laundry, the next floors and so on... I could/would do all the chores in the morning between 8 and 11, but that doesn't help my kids. It's not because it's their job or mess. It's their day to do that chore it's part of the rotation. The problem is, if the person who needs to unload hasn't, the dirty dishes pile up. If everyone hasn't taken their dirty clothes to the laundry room, that person has nothing to wash. If the kids have left stuff all over the floor, the person with floors that day can't sweep.

 

I do tell the kids throughout the day to pick up. Then guess what? They start playing again with something else. The house is in constant use.

 

 

Maybe if the rotations were a little longer? i.e switching jobs every week or two or even monthly? With the current system, there is no incentive to get the work done b/c it will be someone else's problem tomorrow. Who ends up suffering the consequences of the jobs not being done? If someone does not bring their dirty clothes to the laundry room, maybe they need to wash their own clothes instead of the person responsible for laundry that day doing it for them?

 

Is there a way to designate a time for you all to do your chores at approximately the same time? Sometimes it is easier to motivate kids to work if everyone is working together. When do you run the dishwasher? After dinner or in the morning? What about while someone is unloading the dishwasher, the floor person sweeps and the trash person takes out the trash and the laundry person throws in a load? Then everyone is working together and everyone is accountable for their jobs as this is the time set aside to do the jobs? No one is sitting and watching others work.

 

Are there other consequences for the kids for not doing their jobs, i.e. loss of privileges, etc.? Some kids need a little more incentive to get things done. Have they been "trained" on how to do each job and do it well? Is there something written down on how each job is expected to be done? Maybe that would help?

 

Also, at least one designated pick-up time during the day (maybe more depending on the kids and how much of a mess they make) would keep things to a minimum.

 

It is hard to keep everything humming along and it will not work out perfectly every day. But with a little planning and a few changes to a system that is not working well for you now may be all it takes to improve things a lot for you and your DH. Neither of you should be stressed either all day or at the end of the day b/c of the state of the house. :grouphug:

[sbgrace]

We have divided up the chores. We rotate the chores among the four of us. Laundry, floors, unload dw and take out the trash. One day I'll do laundry, the next floors and so on... I could/would do all the chores in the morning between 8 and 11, but that doesn't help my kids. It's not because it's their job or mess. It's their day to do that chore it's part of the rotation. The problem is, if the person who needs to unload hasn't, the dirty dishes pile up. If everyone hasn't taken their dirty clothes to the laundry room, that person has nothing to wash. If the kids have left stuff all over the floor, the person with floors that day can't sweep.

 

I do tell the kids throughout the day to pick up. Then guess what? They start playing again with something else. The house is in constant use.

 

You, individually, could get everything done with three hours in the morning?

 

What about this idea instead of the current rotation:

Every other day a team of two (you and the youngest or the two olders for example) are in charge of the 1.5 hours (approx) of cleaning chores for the day? That way there is clear responsibility, the kids are involved, and no one is waiting for another to finish x. In my opinion being solely in charge of an area or chore works best. The unloader is loading dishes too so no waiting or has excuse, the dirty clothes person is also loading the washer, dishes does the floors, laundry does the garbage or something like that? Pairs could switch off who does set 1 and 2 on alternating days if some chores are more unliked or take longer. If someone really prefers laundry to dishes and the pair agrees they could tackle that chore each time. So M, W, F it's you and the younger, T/Th the olders, Sat olders and hubby or etc.?

 

Alternatively maybe person A is doing all dish duty on day x, person B all floors, person C all garbage, person D all laundry. The what the person is in charge of could rotate either daily or, I think better, weekly. You all do your individual thing by, say, 5 so you have wiggle room. The when will vary in that the floor sweeper will need to do it after all of you have had a quick clean up, dish duty requires stop/start more than once, etc.

 

On the clean up general of toys and such. I'd just do a pick up before lunch (after that floors for the floor person) and then right before hubby comes home. Maybe the kids can pick up as you're getting dinner started. If it's been picked up twice already, at least here and my kids immediately make things a mess again, it's not a big deal for me to pick up one last time right before I go to bed. That really stays on top of the mess.

 

I'd try very hard to make this a team "we can do it" effort. In fact, perhaps the kids and I would work in rewards for ourselves for meeting our goals.

 

Having said all that, I would be extremely bothered if my husband had an expectation that was stressful and interfered with the peace of our home to meet. If you can't find a way to do this that really does work (it sounds like you would like to be done by this point if it could work) I'd even consider counseling to resolve the tension on this. Maybe a compromise can be worked out.

Edited March 28, 2012 by sbgrace

[mom2myboys]

Yes you can. It shouldnt take more than 30 mins to run around the house and pick up at 5:30 so at 6 the house looks presentable. I have 3 kids ages 9, 6, and 3 and I can make my house look picked up by 6. It is not perfect but there is no clutter, no stuff on the floor, and all the surfaces are clear and wiped down. it is absolutely possible for 3 older kids to pick up after themselves and clear up clutter by a certain time.

:iagree: My kids are close to the same ages as yours (10,7 and 3) and they do a great job picking up quickly and then I sweep and things look presentable quickly. Now, some days it does not happen b/c it was "one of those days". But as long as that is the exception rather than the rule, it is understandable.

[Blueridge]

So far I've seen the OP here posting a lot, round and round in circles, without sharing much detail at all. I am getting the sense that she won't accept the fact that the kids are (I am assuming) practicing laziness, or that she isn't really seeking help (again, I am assuming). Forgive me if I sound graceless, I am not, but this just doesn't add up.

~Ages 15, 11, and 8 aren't responsible for themselves. :001_huh:

~The girls aren't up until after 10am and therefore are falling behind. :blink:

~You have a fancy chore rotation schedule but nobody will follow it. :confused:

~Everyone likes to *play*, but nobody cleans up afterwards. :confused:

~Nobody does anything out of the needs of the day but sticks to the schedule if they feel like it. :confused:

~Dh expects, demands, sounds unreasonable, etc., etc., etc. :tongue_smilie:

 

I've gotten the impression that the OP isn't here for support and great answers, because she has gotten many of those already. What more are you seeking?

[mom2myboys]

Another thought is asking your DH for some ideas. I was recently annoyed and stressed about the kids dawdling and not doing their school work and chores as well as I would like. I was too close to the situation to see it as clearly since I had already lost my patience. He and I sat down and brainstormed after the kids went to bed and I think we have a good system/ideas to try going forward. I was tired of the reminding and had run out of ideas of consequences and ways to make the kids accountable for their own actions. It felt nice for DH and I to work together as a team. I was more stressed about it than he was, but if one partner is stressed then it can affect the pair. Anyway, I am grateful for his help and fresh perspective.

[ezrabean2005]

So far I've seen the OP here posting a lot, round and round in circles, without sharing much detail at all. I am getting the sense that she won't accept the fact that the kids are (I am assuming) practicing laziness, or that she isn't really seeking help (again, I am assuming). Forgive me if I sound graceless, I am not, but this just doesn't add up.

~Ages 15, 11, and 8 aren't responsible for themselves. :001_huh:

~The girls aren't up until after 10am and therefore are falling behind. :blink:

~You have a fancy chore rotation schedule but nobody will follow it. :confused:

~Everyone likes to *play*, but nobody cleans up afterwards. :confused:

~Nobody does anything out of the needs of the day but sticks to the schedule if they feel like it. :confused:

~Dh expects, demands, sounds unreasonable, etc., etc., etc. :tongue_smilie:

 

I've gotten the impression that the OP isn't here for support and great answers, because she has gotten many of those already. What more are you seeking?

 

:iagree: OP, are you looking for help or is this just a vent?

[Laura in STL]

I would say this depends on how many kids, their ages and how many activities they do. When my kids were littler, say 2nd grade and under this would have been no problem. Now at 4th and 6th grade there is no way. We do finish our school work fairly early,usually by 2pm, but we have many activities in the afternoon. Dinner is never at the same time and usually not before 7pm. I also have to do laundry in the evenings and on weekends.

[Haiku]

Yes you can. It shouldnt take more than 30 mins to run around the house and pick up at 5:30 so at 6 the house looks presentable. I have 3 kids ages 9, 6, and 3 and I can make my house look picked up by 6. It is not perfect but there is no clutter, no stuff on the floor, and all the surfaces are clear and wiped down. it is absolutely possible for 3 older kids to pick up after themselves and clear up clutter by a certain time.

 

Well, you're a better homemaker than I am, because I have not found a way to make the kids stop living in the house after 6 pm. ;)

 

Tara

[*********]

Frankly, I think it is unreasonable for a man to go trotting off to work every lay (la la la) and expect to come home to "nothing to do." It's his house, family, laundry, and dinner every bit as much as it is yours. He can't reasonably expect you to do all the educating AND all the cleaning AND all the cooking AND everything else that needs to be done to keep the household running. His responsibilities don't end with bringing home a paycheck.

Tara

 

But why can't he? From what I see, the OP's dh is gone 14 hours a day with commute and work. If I worked 14 hours a day, I'd for sure be able to get all the house stuff done. And while my dh doesn't work THAT many hours a day, he frequently has 12 hour days. And yes, everything else I take care of. Everything; dishes, laundry, school, errands, all cleaning, cooking. Everything. The children help, of course. I feel that dh's contribution to our family and my contribution to our family are equal. Dh has a very hard, stressful, long-hours job. But he works it to support the family. He could get an easier, lower-stress, lower hours job. But it likely would not support our financial needs nearly as well as the job he has now. And I appreciate his sacrifice.

 

I think you have your solution - start the day earlier. He probably feels that because he has to get up early and come home late, the rest of the family should give a little more time and effort, too, towards making things work.

 

But your kids are little. The OP's kids are 15, 11, and 8. The kids should be cleaning up after themselves.

 

To be honest, I can kind of see the OP's DH's point. He gets up early, early and spends 4 hours a day commuting. His kids, on the other hand, are sleeping in until 10?!?

 

I would feel taken advantage of, were I him. A quiet evening doesn't seem to much to ask. Not having to clean up after people who should be cleaning up after themselves doesn't seem too much to ask.

 

 

:iagree: Your dh leaves the house at 5am and gets home at 7pm. If my dh kept those hours, there's no way I'd be putting any expectation on him to help with household stuff. Assuming he works 5 days a week, that's 70 hours he's commuting or working. :001_huh:

 

I agree that the OP needs to start her day earlier, including getting the children up earlier. That will allow time to get everything done without nagging and pressuring all day. OP, your 15yo needs 8-9 hours of sleep, and your 11 and 8 yos need 10-11 hours,. If everyone's going to sleep at 10pm, then the very latest anyone needs to sleep is 8am. Wake them up. They'll adjust. And everyone will be happier because their day's not rushed.

 

Your life is NOT a job. Your life doesn't stop because it's six o'clock. Raising a family and running a home are NOT a job. They are a life, and your dh participated in creating that life. He doesn't just get to bow out of the work.

 

But he's not bowing out of the work. :001_huh: He's commuting/working 70 hours a week to help raise the family.

 

I realize the way dh and I run our family may be different than the norm. But I think it's disrespectful to say that a father who works 70 hours a week is bowing out of the work of raising and running a home.

 

I know in my family, if dh weren't willing to work the long hour, stressful job he has, then I would not be able to stay home and *be* a housewife/homeschool mom. When we married, we both had full time careers. But dh's position at that time was less hours and MUCH less stress than the job he has now.

 

All I'm saying is that I see a lot of 'Oh yeah, well what's HE doing?' going on in this thread. Let's not push aside the fact that many husbands are working hard, long, stressful jobs to support their family; without which, many of us would not be able to stay home with our children.

[Elinor Everywhere]

 

I do tell the kids throughout the day to pick up. Then guess what? They start playing again with something else. The house is in constant use.

 

I am a little confused by this....how can your kids be playing with something if they're in school? I can see this for little kids, but teenagers? What are they playing with, exactly? And why?

 

I have two teens, and they start schoolwork early, work fairly diligently throughout the day, and are finished by 4 (or 5 for my son, who works steady but slow). We definitely don't clean floors every day (yikes, we only vacuum once a week, but the floors really don't get that dirty). I do the laundry. The kids have a chore every day, such as cleaning their bathroom, vacuum/dust the schoolroom and living areas, etc. They take turns loading/unloading the kitchen, and each one cooks dinner once a week. Chores are done in the afternoon - if they still have homework to do, they go to their rooms and finish up.

 

I'm not a taskmaster and our house isn't spotless. I've been homeschooling since the very beginning, and I guess they just know what to expect. I don't allow "playing" in the middle of a school day (except during lunch break). My dh works hard and travels internationally on a regular basis, and I KNOW he'd prefer a perfectly neat & orderly house when he gets home, but that's not realistic. My dd has a part-time job, plus plays tennis, violin, etc., and my son is involved with archery. We all need to time to unwind, have hobbies, relax, and discover our passions!

 

I may not agree with the way your husband said it, but I do agree with the essence of what he was saying.

Edited March 28, 2012 by Elinor Everywhere

[2squared]

Yes you can. It shouldnt take more than 30 mins to run around the house and pick up at 5:30 so at 6 the house looks presentable. I have 3 kids ages 9, 6, and 3 and I can make my house look picked up by 6. It is not perfect but there is no clutter, no stuff on the floor, and all the surfaces are clear and wiped down. it is absolutely possible for 3 older kids to pick up after themselves and clear up clutter by a certain time.

 

:iagree: We have an evening pick-up routine so the house is picked up and clutter free before dinner. The kids pick up in less than 30 minutes, and then I sweep and vacuum while dinner is cooking.

 

Well, you're a better homemaker than I am, because I have not found a way to make the kids stop living in the house after 6 pm. ;)

 

Tara

 

The kids don't have to stop living in the house, but if it is picked up before dinner, it's much more likely to still look good after dinner. After my kids have screen time, and their play is generally limited to the upstairs or outside.

[txmom23]

So far I've seen the OP here posting a lot, round and round in circles, without sharing much detail at all. I am getting the sense that she won't accept the fact that the kids are (I am assuming) practicing laziness, or that she isn't really seeking help (again, I am assuming). Forgive me if I sound graceless, I am not, but this just doesn't add up.

~Ages 15, 11, and 8 aren't responsible for themselves. :001_huh:

~The girls aren't up until after 10am and therefore are falling behind. :blink:

~You have a fancy chore rotation schedule but nobody will follow it. :confused:

~Everyone likes to *play*, but nobody cleans up afterwards. :confused:

~Nobody does anything out of the needs of the day but sticks to the schedule if they feel like it. :confused:

~Dh expects, demands, sounds unreasonable, etc., etc., etc. :tongue_smilie:

 

I've gotten the impression that the OP isn't here for support and great answers, because she has gotten many of those already. What more are you seeking?

 

 

I was seeking an answer to my original post...

 

DH would like for all lessons, chores (floors swept, laundry rebooted, dw empty) and dinner ready by 6 pm. I'm not getting it all done. Are you guys able to do this?

 

I am fulling aware of our short comings. I just wanted to know if you guys finished by 6pm.

[ezrabean2005]

All I'm saying is that I see a lot of 'Oh yeah, well what's HE doing?' going on in this thread. Let's not push aside the fact that many husbands are working hard, long, stressful jobs to support their family; without which, many of us would not be able to stay home with our children.

 

I agree with you, but some of us are coming from an alternate perspective. When you are both working hard, some things must be shared.

 

I was seeking an answer to my original post...

 

DH would like for all lessons, chores (floors swept, laundry rebooted, dw empty) and dinner ready by 6 pm. I'm not getting it all done. Are you guys able to do this?

 

I am fulling aware of our short comings. I just wanted to know if you guys finished by 6pm.

 

OP, our family functions differently than yours with our schedule and two full-time outside the home jobs. So we can't get it done by 6pm. But that is because our days are reversed from yours. Can we get it all done by 6am? Sure. :lol:

 

The concept here is that regardless of what is going on, everyone needs to be a team. It's not "you" against "him" or "him" against "you and the kids". Either everyone wins together or everyone fails together. Maybe neither one of you are being reasonable.

[A.J. at J.A.]

I was seeking an answer to my original post...

 

DH would like for all lessons, chores (floors swept, laundry rebooted, dw empty) and dinner ready by 6 pm. I'm not getting it all done. Are you guys able to do this?

 

I am fulling aware of our short comings. I just wanted to know if you guys finished by 6pm.

 

We are able to get it all done by 6pm.

 

DH leaves for work by 6:45am. We all wake up at 7am, usually start school by 8am (8:30 the latest). I have a 5th grader and 7th grader and they have chores completed before we start school.

 

7th grader's morning responsibilities each day:

* empties and fills dishwasher,

* wipes down counters,

* vacuums kitchen floor

* cleans his bedroom

 

5th grader's morning responsiblilities each day:

* responsible for a part of a bathroom each day [sink/mirror/toilet MWF; floor/tub or shower TTh]

* takes recycling down to garage

* stocks all three bathrooms with TP, kleenex, etc.,

* takes rags from kitchen hamper to laundry room,

* cleaning his own bedroom).

 

We usually school until 4pm -ish (we have a mid-day PE class on MWF) - and they work independently for enough time that I am able to straighten up as we go along. They are also responsible for their own laundry and fit it in as their schedule allows.

 

I think the late start is definitely the problem with your schedule. Not to harp on you or be heartless - but my DH would definitely NOT be ok with us sleeping in that late and getting such a late start. And in my mind, he would be right in his opinion on the matter.

 

Blessings,

Angela

[A.Balaban]

He hasn't talked to the bosses yet. My hope is, they will discuss working from home, maybe leasing commercial space closer to our home, in lieu of paying him more to move. Although, if they are willing to pay him enough, I think we would be willing to move now.

 

If he goes in there, gets the promotion and they aren't willing to pay him enough to move, or consider the alternatives...he is commuting. He doesn't want to work anywhere else. We can't afford two homes. Neither of us want to sale the country house. At that point, the ball is in his court.

 

Thank you for your reply.

 

I really hope this works out (in one way or another) for your family. I sincerely believe that if your DH's commute was shorter he would get a better idea of the type of day that you and your kids have. That being said, does he have any vacation time? Every spring my dad would take a vacation day to get the yard ready (he was kind of obsessed with the yard, but anyway- it gave him some time to get some odd jobs done around the house).

 

Maybe your DH just needs a breather to remember what it's like to live in a crazy house.

 

Best of luck.

[A.J. at J.A.]

I sincerely believe that if your DH's commute was shorter he would get a better idea of the type of day that you and your kids have.

 

Maybe your DH just needs a breather to remember what it's like to live in a crazy house.

 

 

Except they aren't starting school until 11am. There seems to be plenty of hours in the day - but the delayed start makes a 6pm finish impossible.

Edited March 28, 2012 by A.J. at J.A.

[Colleen in NS]

I was seeking an answer to my original post...

 

DH would like for all lessons, chores (floors swept, laundry rebooted, dw empty) and dinner ready by 6 pm. I'm not getting it all done. Are you guys able to do this?

 

I am fulling aware of our short comings. I just wanted to know if you guys finished by 6pm.

 

:grouphug: Good luck to you in getting some things worked out with your family! :)

[Elinor Everywhere]

:iagree: Your dh leaves the house at 5am and gets home at 7pm. If my dh kept those hours, there's no way I'd be putting any expectation on him to help with household stuff. Assuming he works 5 days a week, that's 70 hours he's commuting or working. :001_huh:

 

I agree that the OP needs to start her day earlier, including getting the children up earlier. That will allow time to get everything done without nagging and pressuring all day. OP, your 15yo needs 8-9 hours of sleep, and your 11 and 8 yos need 10-11 hours,. If everyone's going to sleep at 10pm, then the very latest anyone needs to sleep is 8am. Wake them up. They'll adjust. And everyone will be happier because their day's not rushed.

 

But he's not bowing out of the work. :001_huh: He's commuting/working 70 hours a week to help raise the family.

 

I realize the way dh and I run our family may be different than the norm. But I think it's disrespectful to say that a father who works 70 hours a week is bowing out of the work of raising and running a home.

 

All I'm saying is that I see a lot of 'Oh yeah, well what's HE doing?' going on in this thread. Let's not push aside the fact that many husbands are working hard, long, stressful jobs to support their family; without which, many of us would not be able to stay home with our children.

 

Here, here! I completely agree.

[NASDAQ]

Definitely not done by six. The baby (and to a lesser extent the three-year-old) keep going all evening. Especially the baby. I don't get time to deep clean during the day and I have to do it after the kids go to bed. We also live in a very small house with somewhat limited outdoor possibilities (it rains every other day and is dark by six most of the year, sometimes by four).

[anneofalamo]

I guess I am a slacker in something, cause we do all our school by 1pm, chores together, and a deep clean once a week, everyone takes a room and we turn up the music and clean and jam?

We are up at 8am, breakfast, quick chores (sweep, vacumn, dishes done, and laundry started)

I usually prep my dinner at this time (I have a list for the week, so I know what is for dinner)

Dinner is on the table at 5pm, and cleared and cleaned by 6pm for evening activities?

There are days, we get pizza, cause it was insane, maybe 1-2 a month.

I am organized, but my kids are pretty awesome!

 

hugs to you, cause you love your DH and want to bring some order for him, I read the Maxwells? I think that is the name, organizer of the home. It helped me soo soo much!!

one big help

each kid or (set of kids) has a day for laundry and a laundry basket. The older do theirs all, and help the younger ones on their days. Laundry is going pretty much every morning, but Sunday!

We don't have a dish washer, so paper plates and set chores for each child, working as a team. You finish, you help someone who isn't. This is a family where the letter I is for I can help! lol

Good luck to you, and please PM me, or send an email it is my name here at the yahoo.

Edited March 28, 2012 by anneofalamo

[MollyAnn]

I read up to page 14, I will have to go back and read the rest later... we have park day that I am trying to make it to on time.

 

It seems everyone has an opinion on what your husband has asked, and I have my mine, but you asked for ideas on how to it.

 

1. Get the idea out of your head that you are doing all this because your husbands wants it that way. That is no way to live, being all stressed out because the house needs to be a certain way for someone else. It would make me feel like I was walking on eggshells eveytime he walked through the door, anxiously looking around the house to see if there is anything he could find fault with.

 

2. Take 1-2 weeks off from school. Its OK, its spring break. Do nothing but de-clutter the house. A de-cluttered house takes about 45min to get back into order at the end of the day, especially when 5 people do a "clean sweep"

Deep clean only once a week, pick a day that there are no activities, follow Fly Lady's zones.

 

3. Girls get up at the same time your son does, start lessons by 9:30. Do lessons before chores. Chores should be last because your house is going to get mussed during the day, why clean twice? Also it makes sure you are done with lessons before activities. You pay for those activities, they are important to the child doing them, and IMO they shouldn't be skipped.

 

4. Relax. There will be some days when the house is perfect, and other days when it looks lived in. I personally feel that a lived-in look makes a good home. I would not want to live in a house so put together that it feels like there is a Don't Touch sign everywhere. Its a home, not a showroom floor. When the kids are gone is when the house will look perfect.

 

Just wanted to add... find some good crock pot dinners. Having something is the crock pot and dinner taken care of at noon always makes my day easier.

Edited March 28, 2012 by MollyAnn

[2squared]

DS missed judo today because I wasn't finished with math lessons with DDs. He was finished with his chores and lessons by 330.

 

This would be a big issue for me. I assume everyone knows which day is judo day. Do you have a schedule for judo day which allows everyone to complete their schoolwork, chores, and still make it to judo? If the sibs don't get their work done, do they stay home to complete it or take it with them? Next judo day will they be up earlier so they are done in time?

 

It sounds like the daily schedule isn't working for you & the kids, not just dh. Perhaps dh is seeing something more that just chores and dinner. Maybe he's truly worried more about the kids than himself. Maybe he thinks the kids are missing out on experiences, free time, activities, family time, whatever because their day isn't structured enough.

[walkermamaof4]

This has been an interesting thread; my how our personalities come out! Yes, we get done by 6.

 

I decided to view this as if I were earning my husband's salary for doing my "job." Or if it helps I can view it as if I will earn $1 million if I can get it all done by 6 and we can enjoy it in the process. We were finishing later than my kids wanted and there was much complaining. It felt like there was no way to finish earlier. But I set my mind and heart to it and we now finish earlier but do as much schooling and enjoy it. Here are a few things we did:

 

We use alarm clocks. Anyone not in the school room by 9am gets 30 minutes detention after our day is done.

 

Those with troubles doing chores don't get breakfast till their chores are done. I am a meanie, but it works! I drop this once they get back on track.

 

I made a chore list but we don't rotate unless there is a good reason. It was too hard to keep up with the rotation. I'd rather us learn to excel at something. I revamp the list on an ongoing basis as needed.

 

I've had to change chores so that people aren't waiting on others.

 

I put meals on plantoeat.com and that has been a great help. I try to check tomorrow's meal the night before and get out meat if needing defrosting.

 

I start dinner in the morning if needed.

 

I put our chores on the calendar of our computers and synced them. Each person has their own calendar that we can show or not show on the main calendar.

 

I inspect daily before they can play.

 

We do school in a school room. No matter what we tried, we did not school as well at the kitchen table. Even I was distracted. We try not to leave the school room until we are done. We eat a "clean" snack in the school room once or twice as needed to hold us over. We eat a late lunch.

 

We made breakfast a much faster meal. I love to bake. We used to do hot breakfasts that took too long for us to finish at our desired time. We had to make that a Friday only thing.

 

We moved certain chores away from the days we had other outside obligations and so we have heavier chore days when we do not have outside activities.

 

I ask for my kids' input. They suggested reasonable things that I could do to help. I am trying hard to do those things.

 

I also asked them to be dressed and have their beds made before they ate breakfast. It helped us all to be in the school mood. We enjoy school in jammies, but for us it doesn't work. Someone would want to go get changed and then they got distracted and school slowed way down.

 

It is a constantly changing work in progress. But things are much better. We can't believe how much sooner we can all get done when we all try.

 

Oh, I've been talking lately with them about how this home can be a place of beauty and our lives can be peaceful and beautiful when we all try.

 

Have you listened to the Andrew Pudewa talk about Ruts and Routines? http://circeinstitute.com/free-audio/

A routine offers freedom when put into place well. It really does. I love the freedom of keeping up with everything and having free time without a guilty conscience! I love that people can stop by and I don't have to feel guilty or embarrassed by the mess and can take the time to enjoy them. And I love that if we miss this Friday's chores, we can make them up Saturday. But if we don't, we will hit them next Friday and it won't kill us!

 

I hope you find your place of beauty and can continue to enjoy your country house!

Edited March 28, 2012 by walkermamaof4

[Element]

But why can't he? From what I see, the OP's dh is gone 14 hours a day with commute and work. If I worked 14 hours a day, I'd for sure be able to get all the house stuff done. And while my dh doesn't work THAT many hours a day, he frequently has 12 hour days. And yes, everything else I take care of. Everything; dishes, laundry, school, errands, all cleaning, cooking. Everything. The children help, of course. I feel that dh's contribution to our family and my contribution to our family are equal. Dh has a very hard, stressful, long-hours job. But he works it to support the family. He could get an easier, lower-stress, lower hours job. But it likely would not support our financial needs nearly as well as the job he has now. And I appreciate his sacrifice.

 

Your dh leaves the house at 5am and gets home at 7pm. If my dh kept those hours, there's no way I'd be putting any expectation on him to help with household stuff. Assuming he works 5 days a week, that's 70 hours he's commuting or working. :001_huh:

 

I agree that the OP needs to start her day earlier, including getting the children up earlier. That will allow time to get everything done without nagging and pressuring all day. OP, your 15yo needs 8-9 hours of sleep, and your 11 and 8 yos need 10-11 hours,. If everyone's going to sleep at 10pm, then the very latest anyone needs to sleep is 8am. Wake them up. They'll adjust. And everyone will be happier because their day's not rushed.

...

 

All I'm saying is that I see a lot of 'Oh yeah, well what's HE doing?' going on in this thread. Let's not push aside the fact that many husbands are working hard, long, stressful jobs to support their family; without which, many of us would not be able to stay home with our children.

 

We are in a similar situation, so I totally agree with Bethany here.

 

My dh does his own laundry (minus ironing/mending when necessary- not daily or anything) and cleans our downstairs half-bath. He might do the dishes and clean the bedroom once a month. That's it. I cook every meal, do my best to keep the house picked up, take care of the kids' activities, schooling, and everything else. I'm totally okay with that. Dh does a lot for the community and for our family outside of the home (work, school, etc.) I don't mind doing my job, to the best of my ability, inside the home.

 

I have to admit: Now that I have more information, I'm siding with OP's dh. I think the dh could be a little kinder in his methods, but overall I don't think his expectations are unreasonable.

 

Also, MollyAnn has some great suggestions in her post above!

 

ETA:

I don't expect my husband to do anything around the house (although he still does), but I do expect him to respect me. I don't rag on him for how he does his job.

I agree with this too.

Edited March 28, 2012 by Element

[walkermamaof4]

I should add, while I might be tempted to be angry at dh if he were to ask me to have it all done by 6, really I wouldn't trade my "job" for his. I am so grateful to get to do this. So I have to remind myself of that sometimes!

[delaney]

Well ladies you may all want my DH. He works in DC which is a 100 mile round trip commute. He gets up at 4 and is out the door by 4:30. He does work from home most Wed and Fri. He is advancement chair for the scout troop, coaches 2 soccer teams, does all the yard work, will do laundry, cleans up after dinner, can run a Mary Poppins house clean-up in what seems like 10 minutes flat, and would never dare to be annoyed at me for something like a messy house. He had a hand in the making of these 6 kids so we share in the mess. If he were to dictate ANYTHING to me....well let's just say that ain't happenin' here. Mama don't play like that.:glare:

To answer your question yes I can get schooling, dinner, and chores done by 6. The house will still be a bit messy since we have younger kids. I get up at 5:45 though and start laundry at that time.

I couldn't find the post that said how old your kids were. If mine were all over the age of 10 then there is no way I would expect the house to be messy at the end of the day. Heads would roll.

[Lady Florida.]

He wants floors swept, laundry clean and in baskets, dinner done or almost done, and trash taken out. He wants everything put in it's place. Nothing left on the horizontal surfaces in the living room, dining room or kitchen. He doesn't mind if the kids have reading to do because it can be done later in their bedrooms without me.

 

In fairness, his motivation is sincere. He wants us to have the evenings free for family time and us time. He gets home at 6, sometimes 7. That only leaves 2 hours to spend with the kids. He doesn't want them busy doing chores and lessons because he wants to be with them too. He doesn't want me busy about the house cooking and cleaning after he gets home. He wants me settled down watching TV with them or in our bedroom making "tea" or watching a movie with him. If I haven't managed our day well, it all falls apart. He watches TV alone, while we pay catch up.

 

What do you want? You're in the marriage and the family too. What you want or don't want carries equal weight.

[txmom23]

I don't want to misrepresent our family.

 

We do lessons 4 days a week, we do chores daily, and I cook for my family all the time. I don't care when things are done, as long as they are done before bedtime. But, I am ok with letting chores go to the next day, if we run out of time. The kids and I haven't kept a schedule, but that doesn't mean we are lazy. We do work everyday. It's just not finished by 6, it never has been. Our house is "clean under the clutter". We are not slobs. My house is presentable. DH just wants everything done by 6. Not by bedtime, as I have been doing it.

 

I don't ask DH to help around the house anymore. When his job was closer to home I would ask for his help. Sometimes he would, sometimes he wouldn't.

 

I actually want to meet his expectations. I needed to know from the hive if you gals were getting it all done. Many of you graciously shared your schedules and advice with me. And I appreciate the encouragement!

 

Bottom line.....to meet his expectations we will need to start lessons and chores much earlier. That isn't a bad thing.

[txmom23]

What do you want? You're in the marriage and the family too. What you want or don't want carries equal weight.

 

I am fine keeping it the way it is. We get up, we work, we play, we learn, we work, we play, we go to bed. I have no complaints.

 

I want to add....I do want to make my husband happy though. He would be proud of us if we changed a developed some of his good habits.

Edited March 28, 2012 by txmom23

[Rosy]

I would gently remind him that he didn't hire you; he married you.

 

I fully agree with this sentiment. I do think it works both ways, though. He isn't your paycheck, he is your husband.

 

He wants floors swept, laundry clean and in baskets, dinner done or almost done, and trash taken out. He wants everything put in it's place. Nothing left on the horizontal surfaces in the living room, dining room or kitchen. He doesn't mind if the kids have reading to do because it can be done later in their bedrooms without me.

 

In fairness, his motivation is sincere. He wants us to have the evenings free for family time and us time. He gets home at 6, sometimes 7. That only leaves 2 hours to spend with the kids. He doesn't want them busy doing chores and lessons because he wants to be with them too. He doesn't want me busy about the house cooking and cleaning after he gets home. He wants me settled down watching TV with them or in our bedroom making "tea" or watching a movie with him. If I haven't managed our day well, it all falls apart. He watches TV alone, while we pay catch up.

 

My kids are the same ages as yours, except I have a 7yo instead of your 15yo, and also a 10yo in ps. We are very involved in outside activities in addition to homeschooling. What he is asking is certainly doable, and it shouldn't be painful for you or anyone else.

 

* If your girls are getting up at 10am, they must be staying up late the night before. If they can't use that time to get a headstart on the next day's schoolwork, they need to get up earlier. It is too much unproductive time, which isn't good for anyone. The day starts at _____, they get alarm clocks and need to eat, get dressed, etc. in order to start at that time. For us it's around 9-9:30.

 

* When we do a 15 min. chore time in the morning and a 5 min. pick up at the end of the day, it is enough to keep the public areas reasonably picked up. My 11yo does additional chores independently, and the younger girls do some with my supervision. I can tell them to do things without having to nag and remind (usually).

 

* Your younger kids should be more independent than they are. I would make that a goal as of yesterday. Make them a list of what needs to get done every day and require them to be done by 5:00, with consequences for work not completed on time.

 

If I was out of the house 14 hours a day, I would want to come home to relative peace and calm. Not perfection, not silence, but knowing that someone valued me and my work enough to prepare for my being there. I can see how it would be frustrating to come home after a long day, only to have people going about their business as if I wasn't there, or expecting me to pitch in. Now, I will say that I'm not perfect in these things, but the goal of a tidy house and dinner started by 6 is definitely attainable.

 

It sounds to me like your kids need more discipline/structure. It doesn't have to be perfect overnight, but I would start with the goal of dinner done at 6 and everyone up by 9. I think things will fall into place faster than you think they will if you are committed to trying.

[Haiku]

But he's not bowing out of the work. :001_huh: He's commuting/working 70 hours a week to help raise the family.

 

I guess I just see it differently. A job is a job and a home/family are a home/family, and saying, essentially, I do the job, you do the home/family, and you do it my way and on my schedule, would never fly with me. Not only would it feel, to me, like dh were shirking responsibilities he created (home/kids), because, to me, earning the money is not the sole responsibility of a husband/father, but also it would feel like my dh were giving me a job AND telling me how to do it. That seems controlling and disrespectful, to me.

 

In my way of thinking, you buy a house and create kids to fill said house, you participate in the work of making the house a home. You don't make it your wife's responsibility.

 

Other people do it differently, I guess.

 

Tara

[txmom23]

Yes, the 15 year old stays up late writing and illustrating her novel. She shares a room with the 11 year old so the light disturbs her sleep. Two weeks ago, we installed a brown felt curtain on track to darken sister's side of the room. It has helped. DD 15 is a creative night owl. She does her best work late at night. So that's why I haven't set a hard get up time for the girls.

 

Also, DD15 is involved in community theatre. Rehearsals sometime run three weeks, 6 days a week, from 6 to 10 or 11 at night. So during a show-run, she sleeps late.

Edited March 28, 2012 by txmom23

[A.J. at J.A.]

 

I want to add....I do want to make my husband happy though. He would be proud of us if we changed a developed some of his good habits.

 

You are very gracious and I can tell you are open to changing to make your home the way both you and DH wants. :thumbup:

 

Blessings,

Angela