He was such a joy to homeschool through elementary....curious, fun, eager. Not anymore. The last two years have been horrible. He did one co-op physical science class and finished pre algebra TT....that's it for eight grade. It's fight, fight, fight. He poo-poos everything academic. No interest. Private school is way too expensive and public school is drug infested and was taken over by the state board of education. Not an option. I need to step back and let him own his education. I've babied him. Let him get away with this ridiculous attitude. I need something that is laid out for both of us. Something that I'm not planning or forcing him to do. A get it done curriculum. TIA

Yes. I would recommend following the guidelines in Marriage Builders. It has greatly improved our marriage. There are very specific things that need to be done in order to restore a broken marriage.

She is no longer restricting. She uses fitness pal and records her meals. I've read that a ketogenic diet is good for epilepsy, but I don't know about PNES. I'm not as concerned about the seizures, they are getting better. It would be great to find a med that didn't make the seizures worse and helped the depression. Maybe Wellbutrin?

I've put her issues on a timeline so to speak. I do believe there is a reason for this happening. We just haven't figured it out yet. From age 10 and 12.5 she gained 100 lbs. No dr could explain it. She eats like the rest of us. At the time, it was the standard american diet. That weight gain led to an eating disorder. She remembers the doctors telling her to eat less. She internalized it, thinking...well, if less food is better, than even less food is better. But, she didn't lose weight despite severe calorie restriction. At the same time she started having trouble sleeping. We added melatonin, no relief. So from about 12.5 to 15 these were the main problems (weight gain, insomnia, and eating disorder). She started Dual credit at the CC at almost 16, got her first job and her first boyfriend all at the same time. Major stress. Boom...depression, panic and anxiety. At this time, she and I went grain free/sugar free. She began to feel much better. But, never lost weight, just inches. She was so frustrated with this. So, we saw an endo thinking maybe she had thyroid issues. All normal on the lab test. She was so discouraged. In the spring, before the ADs and seizures, she went strict no more than 50 mg of carbs and high intensive workouts to try to lose weight. Her friend lost 20 pounds, she lost 3. But would gain them back at the slightest sugar. I think that caused the worsening all of this. Also, she had sex with her bf and it wasn't a good experience. She broke up with him in June. This whole thing has snowballed out of control. Right now, at 17 she doesn't go to CC, no job, no boyfriend and very few friends. All of her friends engage in self harm to some extent. My plan (which she has agreed to because she didn't want to go to the hospital either) is to highly structure her life, go back to grain free/sugar free and possibly dairy free. She has started Vit D, Mag and Omega 3, but she forgets to take them regularly. A light exercise program that includes all of us together during the day. She has an appt with our family dr on Wed. I will ask him to do extensive blood work (auto immune and vit and mineral deficiencies). What else should I ask for?

Yes. Diagnosed by the neuro, following a 3 day video eeg. They look like Grand Mal. She loses the use of her arms and legs, hands and feet curl, jerky movements. She doesn't lose consciousness. She can hear and slowly respond. She gets a bit of a warning when they strike. Triggers are low blood sugar, anger, and sometimes just the thought of people who have hurt her. The longest one was 13 minutes. The most she has had in a day was three. Presently, she might have one once a week and it will last less than two minutes.

I'm not totally opposed to meds. I just want the meds to help not make her worse. She didn't have seizures or self harm before meds and therapy.

The neuros we saw, said anti-seizure meds wouldn't work on the seizures she has. They said the side effects were worse than the seizures because, in her case, these seizures do not damage the brain. The only risk is from falling and hurting herself.

The neurologist diagnosed her with psychogenic seizures because of the evidence on the video eeg (lack of brain mis-fire).There are many causes for them. They wanted her to stay on the ADs, but understand my reasoning to take her off of them for a trial. To see of the seizures would get better. They do have a neuor psych in their office but he didn't mention further testing.

The neurologist diagnosed her with psychogenic seizures because of the evidence on the video eeg (lack of brain mis-fire).There are many causes for them. They wanted her to stay on the ADs, but understand my reasoning to take her off of them for a trial. To see of the seizures would get better. They do have a neuor psych in their office but he didn't mention further testing.

The drs have only suggested ADs. Regular seizures med don't work on non-epileptic seizures.

For over a year DD17 has had depression, anxiety and panic disorders. We tried very hard to control them with diet and lifestyle changes. We were successful for awhile. But, she seemed get worse a little at a time. In late April, she had a well child check up. She mentioned the issues to the ped. We decided on 10 mg of Celexa and started seeing a counselor. It didn't seem to help much and on May 31 she had the first seizure. Fast forward. On June 21, she almost collapsed in the shower. Went to the ER. CT scan was normal. Followed up with a neuro, he put her on paxil instead. We had to wait a while but she finally had a video EEG on August 15. At this point she was having multiple seizures daily. I asked the drs if the seizures could be caused by the anti depressants? They said no. Well ,on August 15, she stopped the meds. She now has a seizure maybe once a week. We've seen some progress. She has laughed more over the last month, been more playful, a bit less antagonistic. But, she is willfully doing things to aren't good for her too. Like eating whatever she wants, doing whatever she wants, dismissing the coping strategies she's learning from the counselor. Three days ago, she confessed to clipping her thigh with nail clippers (self harm). I freaked and called the counselor. They said to take her to the mental hospital for evaluation. My husband, dd and I discussed this choice. We decided to wait. DD has promised to never self harm again. She says she understands that it's not a solution to the problem. Well, she has an appointment tomorrow with the counselor. The counselor said DD should be medicated. We don't want her seizures getting worse again. We don't want her zombiefied again. It seems as though she acquired the "illness" after beginning the "treatment". She never had these, more serious issues, before starting ADs and therapy. She got worse, not better. That's why we don't want her going to the hospital and getting on the meds again. We don't want her stuck in-treatment with teens who are worse off than her. Has anyone been where I am now?

Ok, I think I'll move it.

For over a year DD17 has had depression, anxiety and panic disorders. We tried very hard to control them with diet and lifestyle changes. We were successful for awhile. But, she seemed get worse a little at a time. In late April, she had a well child check up. She mentioned the issues to the ped. We decided on 10 mg of Celexa and started seeing a counselor. It didn't seem to help much and on May 31 she had the first seizure. Fast forward. On June 21, she almost collapsed in the shower. Went to the ER. CT scan was normal. Followed up with a neuro, he put her on paxil instead. We had to wait a while but she finally had a video EEG on August 15. At this point she was having multiple seizures daily. I asked the drs if the seizures could be caused by the anti depressants? They said no. Well ,on August 15, she stopped the meds. She now has a seizure maybe once a week. We've seen some progress. She has laughed more over the last month, been more playful, a bit less antagonistic. But, she is willfully doing things to aren't good for her too. Like eating whatever she wants, doing whatever she wants, dismissing the coping strategies she's learning from the counselor. Three days ago, she confessed to clipping her thigh with nail clippers (self harm). I freaked and called the counselor. They said to take her to the mental hospital for evaluation. My husband, dd and I discussed this choice. We decided to wait. DD has promised to never self harm again. She says she understands that it's not a solution to the problem. Well, she has an appointment tomorrow with the counselor. The counselor said DD should be medicated. We don't want her seizures getting worse again. We don't want her zombiefied again. It seems as though she acquired the "illness" after beginning the "treatment". She never had these, more serious issues, before starting ADs and therapy. She got worse, not better. That's why we don't want her going to the hospital and getting on the meds again. We don't want her stuck in-treatment with teens who are worse off than her. Has anyone been where I am now?

If you're near Houston, I can give you the name of the ed pysch we used. Our DD was tested at age 12. It really helped knowing the reason for all the stress. We lowered expectations, added accommodations and a time limit.

I looked into admissions and degree requirements for the possible universities. None of them had the same requirements. Some of them do not give waivers or substitutions, just the regular accommodations. They all require recent testing ( IQ, achievement) some within the last 3 years. I think my next call is to the cc counselor.

Wow, thank you Jann for the validation. The stigma of being "bad at math" is a painful one. Most people don't know there's a math LD. As a hs mom, the burden is solely our's. I didn't want to make a mistake and shortchange my kid or her education. So I pushed and pushed. I've unintentionally hurt her over the years. I need to let it go. I will take your advice to heart.

Hey Neighbor! They are twins! We should keep in touch. We're on the same journey, for sure. My DD could have started cc a semester earlier, but she started in the spring instead. She has flourished in her classes there. It's a real jekyll and hyde, isn't it? These girls are so incredibly talented in their areas of strength, but COMPLETELY different people in their area of weakness. Here, one can enter cc at 13, but they must still be classified as a jr. We had to bump her up (on paper) to be enrolled. So technically, she entered cc the second semester of her sophomore year, at age 15.

I will get the needed documents to be able to request a substitution for the college math and math heavy science classes. Jan, on another note, since your daughter was released from Alg I and higher math, I wonder if I should continue in my pursuit of higher math mastery for my DD. I'm torn. With my help, I've seen progress, but is it real understanding? I don't know. Honestly, I don't think so. She usually fails every lesson out of the gate, if left to herself. We do the problem, half the time she is incorrect, we watch the video, she remembers the steps, maybe gets it correct. Wash, rinse, repeat. We still have "math fights" despite both of us knowing what's going on. Why do I still have expectations?

The last Stanford she took was 8th grade. I bet if she took an 11th grade Stanford the gap would reveal itself. I will talk to the ed psych and the counseling center at the cc. Maybe they can do some additional testing.

Yes, it is documented. I have the written analysis from an educational psychologist. It took her two years to do pre-algebra. It will have taken her two years to do algebra I. I sit with her. We do every problem together. If I wasn't here, it would not be happening. She doesn't have mastery. She won't have mastery. The educational psychologist said to keep her math lessons to 7 mins and give her a calculator. Any after that, it's a waste of our time. She's already gone. It's like living in mathematical "Groundhog Day." She needs to be re-taught daily. We do not have a 504. The ed psych said the public school would need to repeat the testing. She said they would take one look at her Stanford test results and see she was gifted, but avg in math (not low performing). The ed psych said that the difference between the verbal and non verbal scores reveal the ld. I think a difference of 15 points is needed for ld. DD is 35. The cc math placement test put her in pre-algebra.

Thank you for that suggestion! This little bit of research has quelled my anxiety!

I'm trying to line-up her transcript with the recommended graduation requirements of the State of Texas (26 credits). The minimum graduation requirement is 22 credits. It requires Biology and Integrated Chem and Physics OR Chem only or Physics only. If she does Geometry next year, she will meet the minimum requirement for math. The cc offers environmental science and geology, but her math placement score doesn't meet the prereq.

We're in Texas. She has taken Alg I, Physical Sci, and Bio I at home. She watches science videos at Khan Academy and Crash Course. She can't pass the math portion on the cc entrance exam. She can take all the classes at cc, that don't have a math prereq. She will not pursue a career in science or math obviously. She will likely be an author and/or editor. The plan is to continue dual-credit until she graduates in 2015. Continue at the cc, then transfer to a university.

I am getting very nervous. Our eldest has dyscalculia. She's a jr this year and attending her third semester at the local jr college. Dual-credit is going great. She's supposed the graduate in 2015, but she is still in Alg I and can't take the higher science without more math. What do I do? Can she graduate with only two math and two science credits?

Thank you all for your considerate replies! Background...My mother didn't socialize. She allowed me to participate in extracurricular activities, but she was always there with me. I never had friends over. I attended only two sleepovers in 12 years. She was very possessive of me. If my coworkers and I wanted to go out after work, I'd call her, ask permission, she would say, "Fine" then hang up on me. Not good! I committed to never treating my children this way. They come and go. They aren't under my thumb. Their friends are welcome here. She and I had several heart to heart conversations this weekend. She read this thread. Admittedly, this year has been tough. From my perspective, I had a tough time reorganizing our homeschool and life with her gone three days a week (dual-credit classes). We all missed her very much. She would ask, even before she got home, Can I go to so-an-so's house? I would say yes, but come home and do your chores first. Then she was gone again. Her homeschool lessons and relationships with us started to suffer. I started getting negative....not because I resented her fun or friends. But, the lack of concern for us, her home and our homeschool. From her perspective, my negativity, pushed her away. She wanted to be with them, more than us. She felt like it was us vs them. But, that wasn't my problem. I love her friends very much. I enjoy them being here. One side issue we have, is that my husband wants the house very tidy before her friends come over. So spontaneous gatherings aren't good. He was very rude one day because the kids were here and the house was a mess. She and I were embarrassed by his behavior. She and the kids didn't realize it was about the house; not them. So moving forward....She will have a job on weekends through Oct and Nov. Her classes are Tues/Thurs this semester so that will help with our homeschool. I will work hard at controlling my negativity. Expectations and consequences will be clearly communicated. No more hand-outs, if after Nov. she doesn't want a job outside the house, she will have more work-for-pay around here. Relation-ally speaking, I need to spend more individual time with each of my kids. Her only request was for me to be more positive.