Those with dc several years apart...

[cherylw]

I don't post very often (mostly lurk) but thought I would post this. I'm still feeling like I'm not done having kids. Our boys are 11 and 10 and they ask frequently about having a little brother or sister. Dh will be 40 next month and I will be 38 this summer..:tongue_smilie:!! But I don't feel that old...not that 38 is old but older for having kids anyway. I know the boys don't realize what it would be like to have a baby but I know they would be great big brothers. I know at this point it would be like we would be "starting all over" and essentially have a second family again. And I do have to honestly ask myself if I'm up for it. It is nice to go somewhere and not have to worry about a toddler...but at the same time I realize now how fast that time goes by. BTW..twins runs in my family on both sides and I've also heard that the chances are greater the older you are.

 

So what are some of the challenges you have faced basically starting all over again that you didn't expect to have? What are some blessings/positives? What is harder or easier than you thought or did you even think about it.

[scrapbookbuzz]

I don't have kids quite that far apart but my two are about 6 years apart. What I liked/like about that (mostly) is that the older child, for the most part, has been able to help me when needed, esp. when my son was a baby. I could ask my dd to bring me the diaper bag or whatever.

 

I will also WARN you right now that, physically, you'll be much more tired after having a baby now. But then again, your other kids are older so you don't have to worry so much about attending to their every need, too.

 

HTH!

[Carrie12345]

I don't have a large gap, but I do have a wide span. I will admit that I spend more time than I'm comfortable with wondering when I'm going to "get my life back." Or at least take the locks off my cabinets and baby gates down.

 

Still, I'm thoroughly enjoying my last baby. There's some weird combination of "Thank goodness this is the last one," and "I'm so glad I'm getting to do this right now" that is incredibly enjoyable.

 

(Yes, he was a surprise!)

[photomo]

My children at 24, 19 & 2.. um just a little gap there..LOL

 

my 24 year old lives on her own and has a 5 month old son

 

my 19 year old is at college but comes home at least once a month and will be home the summer

 

that just leaves my 2 year old at home but seriously I am surprised on how close she is with her 2 older siblings.

 

She see's my daughter all the time and she wants to call and talk to her sissy on the phone every night before bed and we skype with my son a lot and when he is home it's all about Lilly. He reads to her, plays with her and gives her soo much attention.

 

I know your situation would be different because your kids will be living at home longer and would be there everyday but I just wanted you to know the age gap works for our family. I'm glad we made the decission to add another child to our family even though there is such a huge age difference.

[Lynnae]

My oldest is 14, my middle child is 9, and my baby (unexpected adoption) is 1.5. I find I don't have as much energy to keep up with the youngest as I did the older two (I'm 40), but I have enough, and the older kids step in frequently to play with her.

 

Like one of the above posters, I'm amazed at how close the older two kids are to the youngest. It's been a blessing to watch the sibling relationships develop. I also find that I'm a much more relaxed parent this time around, and I take more time to just enjoy the moment than worry about whether I'm parenting/schooling/etc. right.

 

Even though I'm more tired than I used to be, having our youngest has been a huge blessing. So if you feel like you should have another child, go for it! The blessings more than make up for the challenges.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I decided I wanted some more kiddos.

 

Last March, I got our first foster kids.

Last April, the same month my "baby" turned 16yrs old, I got the three in my signature.

We've had several others as foster kids, respite, etc.

Little Bit is probably going to family in another state eventually (nothing has been done regarding that yet and she's been in care since August, but that is the plan).

We have inquired about some kids (0-11yrs old), been offered others, just hoping for the right situation (which may also be that we're done).

 

Anyway, so depending on how you look at it, we waited 16 or 13 years.

 

I say go for it :) But expect to be tired!

 

ETA: Like the others, I'm so glad the sibling relationships have been so wonderful. Though my daughter *wanted* us to do this, I still kinda thought that such a huge age difference may be problematic in terms of closeness. But though my big kids have their schooling and jobs, they still have PLENTY of time for the littles. My best pics are of the two sets mixing :)

 

Also, like the others, though I'm a very strict parent (and too high strung sometimes....AND dealing with some additional issues with kids with "issues"), I do find that I can enjoy them a lot better also. A lot of things you worry with your first or second 3yo, you know better about by your 4th or 5th especially if you have a gap that gives you additional perspective).

Edited March 15, 2012 by 2J5M9K

[mudboots]

I thought I'd add, from a sibling's perspective, that my parents were 38 when they had my little sister. (I was the next youngest, at age 9.)

 

Having her was like a breath of fresh air in the family. My parents ended up hsing because she just couldn't stop talking in class. She's very outgoing - a delightful person who adds a lot of fun to the family.

 

My parents did find that they needed time away together. We kids bickered a lot while we were left home babysitting. :blushing: (My older sister was 18 at the time and still at home.) You might consider babysitting options.

 

There were some concerns about Down syndrome, partly because of my mom's age. They had to decide whether to test for it (they didn't). It's just another aspect of it to discuss.

[amy g.]

My older and younger children are VERY close. I'm happy that they will have each other forever.

 

I was not prepared for how time consuming having teenagers is. Having teenagers and toddlers at the same time equals two tired parents.

 

I feel like my younger children do not have the same advantages I gave my older children, but really, they just have different advantages.

 

I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I do look forward to both my teenagers and preschoolers getting more independent.

[Erica in OR]

We were roughly where you were at, a little over a year ago. Our kids were 7, 9, and 11. We decided we did likely want at least one more child and to leave it in God's hands. The result was twins, born around Christmas 2011. We also have twins running in the family (this is the fourth generation in a row) and being over 35 "advanced maternal age" :), there was definitely more of a chance.

 

Difficulties we faced were a harder pregnancy. It seemed more difficult on the body compared to the other pregnancies, although that may have been largely the twins, rather than age. I was on bed rest for the end of it. It is starting over, as you say, so reduced expectations as to what I can now get done are a must. I also worry that with asking the older kids to help that sometimes I'm stealing away time from them that they could be playing or just being kids.

 

Blessings have been enjoying the babies and seeing the kids interact with and enjoy the babies. It's a great education for them, to know about the ins and outs of taking care of babies. I appreciate that it's made me re-evaluate what's most important to do and to cut back in several areas. I even feel less tired at night this time around. I think it's because we're doing a combination of br*astfeeding along with formula supplements this time instead of exclusive br*astfeeding.

 

Erica in OR

[Peaceful Isle]

Mine isn't a large gap. The last two are 5 years apart. I did worry about my 9 year old though, when I had him. Would I be taking time away from her/ would I neglect the older ones?

Actually, having my last baby has been such a blessing! The older kiddos have helped so much! And they have learned to give of themselves, share more, and it taught them how to care for a baby! It was wonderful.

Also, it is not as much work for me with this last one, as it was the first 3. I have 3 great helpers now!

My mother always said "never start another family/ don't let them be more than 3 years apart etc.." but I think everyone is different, and having little ones around the house is such a joy!

Pray about it, and if you and your husband agree, then go for it!

Good luck with your decision!! :grouphug:

[3boysmama]

I say go for it. My youngest was/is 9, and then we got a 12mo old foster boy, then a 3 & 4 year old. I'm 31.

 

So there is a bit of a gap there. My big kids are sooo helpful to me. They WANT to help, esp with the littlest one. I was pretty young when I had my boys, and in some ways I feel like I am a better mom to these little ones.

 

Some of the things we have had to adjust to again are; carseats, toys everywhere (lol), and the need for an adult or a big kid to always be watching. For example, my big kids are big enough to go outside without me always there, and now I have to go out and supervise again. But, those aren't really big deals to us. Just things that we had to get used to again. It's all worth it.

 

I say go for it. You will never look back and wish you didn't have that baby, but you may look back and wish you did have that baby.

[Citrusheights5]

I have pairs with a decent gap. Older set is 15 and 14, middles are 8 and 7, and littles are 4 and 3. While with in the set they are great friends, there is fierce contention among sets. That said all are close... They have a great relationship with each other, and are are willing to step out of their box to do baby things, or big kid thing etc....

[ktgrok]

I have a 12 year old, a 2 year old, and am pregnant with my third. I have to say the pregnancy was harder 10 years later, but not dangerous or anything. Just more tired, more swelling, etc. However the baby stage was easier, by far. I had a built in helper, my son, who was and is amazing. I have someone to keep an eye on her while I shower, or make dinner, or whatever. Someone to bring me a drink and the remote control while I'm doing a marathon nursing session. REally great. I tell all my friends of littles that they should adopt a 12 year old.

 

The down side is that it is hard to do activities that both enjoy. My son goes to a co-op and I can't help because I'm chasing the 2 year old around the park. Today we are going to a meet up at the local ice cream parlor and that means the 2 year old is missing her nap. Stuff like that is hard.

 

But it has been a blast and my son loves his baby sister, and she practically worships him. When she doesn't want to hold my hand in the store or parking lot she holds his willingly. It is really cute.

[gardenmom5]

My largest no-child gap is 12 1/2 years. (3ds was born the year 1dd graduated from college - in public she's often mistaken for mom if he's with her, and just takes it with a grain of salt). I was in my 40's, and dh in his 50's. (he thinks it's hilarious that people mistake him for grandpa - something our children have never had because our father's both died young.)

 

Yes, practically, it is starting over. I had a very difficult pregnancy, part *may* have been my age (but I don't think so), but I already had some health issues that had nothing to do with age, and I aspirated a piece of food to make everything worse. (which turned into pnuemonia :tongue_smilie:).

 

being older, and having older kids was mentally easier - I knew what I was doing, I had confidence in myself, knew how fast this goes, etc. My olders were all happy about it (something I learned is not often the case when much older children get a baby sibling), and they have generally doted upon him.

 

they were alot of help too - and I only need a babysitter if we are doing a grown-up only 'family' activity. (e.g. attending an 'inappropriate for young children' movie, like star trek 2009.) when we do family things that require his supervision (i.e. great wolf lodge), everyone takes a turn following him around - and he moves fast.

 

while he has turned many things upside down because we are starting over - he's also been pretty precious, been completely worthwhile and we're glad we have him.

 

eta: I physically bounced back from this pregnancy faster than any of my others. I felt great and lost the baby weight within a few weeks. mindblowing if you consider the amount of health struggles I had during the pregnancy.

Edited March 15, 2012 by gardenmom5

[Changed]

I have a 12 year old, a 2 year old, and am pregnant with my third. I have to say the pregnancy was harder 10 years later, but not dangerous or anything. Just more tired, more swelling, etc. However the baby stage was easier, by far. I had a built in helper, my son, who was and is amazing. I have someone to keep an eye on her while I shower, or make dinner, or whatever. Someone to bring me a drink and the remote control while I'm doing a marathon nursing session. REally great. I tell all my friends of littles that they should adopt a 12 year old.

 

The down side is that it is hard to do activities that both enjoy. My son goes to a co-op and I can't help because I'm chasing the 2 year old around the park. Today we are going to a meet up at the local ice cream parlor and that means the 2 year old is missing her nap. Stuff like that is hard.

 

But it has been a blast and my son loves his baby sister, and she practically worships him. When she doesn't want to hold my hand in the store or parking lot she holds his willingly. It is really cute.

 

I could have written this except my 12 and 2 yo are both girls, and the third one is 11 months.

[cherylw]

Another thing I have to consider is I would have to have a c-sec. So that does concern me as well. I tend to have big babies:001_huh:. Also how did you handle breast-feeding..if you did, did you do that in front of the older kids..boys I mean? I quit letting the boys "see" me a few years ago. I guess that's kind of weird to think about, but one thing I didn't like about breast feeding was always having to leave to a private area.

[Maus]

Mine are 9, 7, and 2. I was 36, 38, and 44 when they were born. The older two would be largely inclined to ignore the baby, if she weren't a forceful little personality! But as she comes into her own, they are including her more.

 

The two biggest issues we've had are: 1) My health - it's been a slower return to "normal" after her than for the other two. 2) Not as baby-proofed with her as with the olders. They play with toys with small parts, leave out crayons and markers, etc. But, more eyes to keep her out of stuff, so it's mostly balancing out.

 

An interesting outcome of the age gap: she's doing a lot of things earlier than the other two, mostly because she figures she can do anything the older two do. She walked earlier, learned her ABC's earlier, started toilet training earlier with less issues about the scary noises, size, etc. of the toilet, etc. It's funny, though. The older two at that age insisted they were "big," where she insists she's a "diddle [little] girl."

[gardenmom5]

Also how did you handle breast-feeding..if you did, did you do that in front of the older kids..boys I mean? I quit letting the boys "see" me a few years ago. I guess that's kind of weird to think about, but one thing I didn't like about breast feeding was always having to leave to a private area.

3ds had major issues learning to feed (didn't matter if it was me or bottle - he had to be taught to suck.), so feeding was a production for a good two months. (I did usually go somewhere private - but sometimes that meant the living room where I had space to work.) 2ds was 12 - and HE was embarassed, and would avoid me like the plague when I was nursing. :lol: Eventually nursing was not a production and was much more discrete, usually just throwing a blanket over us.

 

I'm of the mindset that I wanted my teenage sons to know what breasts are for - feeding babies. I'll tell ya, it cuts down on the teenage boy interest in girls breasts if they're thinking of a baby on them . . . .

[Sandy in Indy]

My kids are 24, 21 and 11, so yes, I had a big gap. I was two weeks shy of 43 when I had the last one. (DH was 52.)

 

Both of my older kids (dd who was 12 and ds who was 9) attended the birth. Great birth control for them! It was not an easy birth. Nuff said!

 

I bf'd in front of ds1 all the time and thought nothing of it. It's what bOOks are for, after all. I don't think it made him uncomfortable. I didn't make any special efforts at covering in my own home.

 

It was harder for *me* to have a child at that age. I don't have the energy I had earlier. BUT, I also have a great older sister for ds2 to hang out with. (She has the mothering gene.) DD24 still lives at home, in large part, to be and spend time with her younger brother. She teaches him geography and whatever else I need her to step in with.

 

I would have liked to have #4, but circumstances just didn't permit that. I am very thankful that we had ds2, though!

[KidsHappen]

I do have a seven year gap between dc #s 2 & 3. It did seem like starting over at the time and then of course I had a bunch more so it was just like a nice little break. It would feel like starting over now and I am definitely not up to it but then I have got about 10 years on you. As far as how the kids get along, I have a son who is 29 and then the five girls. The son has a lot of problems and isn't really in the picture right now but all five of the girls get along and are pretty close even the ones that are farthest apart in age.

[kamom]

We have an almost 11 and 12 yr old and a two yr old and I hope another one soon!

 

Pros: Lots of help.

 

Very sweet to see them relate and enjoy him

 

Live in babysitters

 

Older ones get to learn stuff relating to babies that they wouldn't otherwise, like feeding, diapering etc.

 

Younger one always has an audience!

 

I can think of two cons:

Limits the activities you can be invovled in

 

younger one doesn't have a playmate closer to his size

 

Oh another one, youngest can be very distracting during school hours!

 

All that said we can not thank God enough for giving us the youngest. He is sooooo much fun to have around!

[AHASRADA]

I was also 38 and dh was 41 when I had dd last fall. My other dc were almost 14 and 11. This pregnancy was a bit harder, although the labor and delivery were amazing! We never intended to have more than 2 kids, one boy, one girl, the perfect family. But, my biological clock started to catch up with me, our kids were growing up too fast, and we started to question whether we wanted to be "done" with the parenting thing already.

 

Sometimes I think it would have been better to have her earlier, maybe when my other dd was 5 or so, so there wouldn't be such a huge age difference. But, I wasn't ready then. I went through several years of feeling smug and content that I didn't have littles to chase around, that I could go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, etc. At this stage of my life, I don't really resent the complications a baby or toddler causes. I know it will fly by so fleetingly, and try to enjoy every moment. Also, having big kids means there are plenty of people in the house to keep an eye on her so I can get things done, run to the store, etc. My big kids absolutely adore her and she has added so much joy to our lives.

 

Being an only child myself, I had absolutely no experience caring for babies whatsoever at the time I became a mother. My kids are now "baby experts" in every way, so they are getting valuable on-the-job babysitting and parenting training, which will serve them well.

 

I don't spend too much time dwelling on how old I'll be when she finally graduates, etc., I am just enjoying today (although I did calculate that older dd will be a senior in HS when younger dd starts K! :tongue_smilie:).

 

Best of luck with your decision.

[Georgiana Daniels]

Our oldest is 20 and our youngest is 6. We love having the spacing as is. Not only did we have a built-in babysitter (lol, totally not in a taking advantage way, but in a way that was good for all) but it was fun to start over. I'm a better parent this time around.

[Robyn]

I have a 7 year gap between my oldest and my second child. There is a definite difference in the relationship between my oldest two and the younger two, who are much closer in age. But it's not necessarily better or worse, just different.

 

My oldest is a fabulous big brother and he loves his siblings. One huge positive of having a big gap is the ability to take naps when pregnancy exhaustion kicks in! I am pregnant now with my fourth and I am busy chasing a toddler around all day. When I was pregnant with my second I was able to lie down if I was really tired. And when ds2 was a baby and kept us up all night, I could lie down with him during the day and not worry that my oldest would get into any trouble.

 

I have been very open about breastfeeding in front of my older children. I feel it is important for them to see it as a normal and healthy way to feed your baby.

[WillametteMom]

My mom had surprise twins after an 8-year gap. I'm one of the twins. I have a twin brother, two older brothers (8 and 12 years older) and an older sister (16 years older). My mom was 40 when she had us and my dad was 44. They were the only "older parents" in their circle of friends, but they were thrilled. I'm really close to all of my siblings. I loved it when I became an aunt when I was 8 years old. My nieces and nephews were almost like little brothers and sisters to me. My father died unexpectedly of a sudden heart attack when my twin and I were 13. My mom always says that my twin and I were her greatest comfort when she lost her husband and that she is so grateful that God in His infinite mercy gave us to her.

 

I have a 4.5-year gap between my second and third children and an almost five-year gap between my third and fourth children and my children are pretty spaced out overall (15 years between the oldest and the youngest). I had my first baby at 25 and my last baby at 40 (I would have had more if I could have!). My children are all really close (emotionally/socially) and I adore being an "older mom" (I adored being a younger mom too). I wouldn't change a thing, and neither would my dh (except that we would have had more children if we could have, multiple miscarriages were the cause of some of the gaps.)

[Chris in VA]

My boys are 10 and 8 years older than their sister (as you can see by my sig). They were fine with her--but now, they are out of the house, and I am basically raising an only. Not quite, as they come in from time to time, but I wish I had had two her age! She gets lonely with just me and her dad, and she feels the family isn't quite complete most of the time (vs the boys, who were the ones who left--it's harder being the one left behind). Funny, because I had almost the same set up in my family of origin--I'm also the only girl, younger than my brothers by 5 and 6 years, but I had them around longer than she did.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Similar to Chris' story....My baby sister (8-12 years younger than the rest of us) did feel left behind and forgotten to a degree. She is closer to my other siblings, especially my sisters; but I know she felt betrayed when I moved to Louisiana (she was 12ish).

[Knittinfarmgirl]

Pros: Lots of help.

 

Very sweet to see them relate and enjoy him

 

Live in babysitters

 

Older ones get to learn stuff relating to babies that they wouldn't otherwise, like feeding, diapering etc.

 

Younger one always has an audience!

 

I can think of two cons:

Limits the activities you can be invovled in

 

younger one doesn't have a playmate closer to his size

 

Oh another one, youngest can be very distracting during school hours!

 

All that said we can not thank God enough for giving us the youngest. He is sooooo much fun to have around!

 

:iagree: I don't have quite the gap but it's still enough that I am so glad to have decided to have our 2yro. She's a mess and I especially agree with the above bolded part. I have a tough time keeping her occupied.

 

I've enjoyed our youngest so much more because I know how fast the time passes. I've been much more relaxed. I haven't broken the other 2, right? ;)

[raesrose]

I say go for it. My daughter was 12 when my son was born and she was great help to me. They are very close, even though my daughter is off at colege now. She misses him terribly. Like the other posters I was more tired this time around, but also more relaxed. I didn't read a single parenting book with my son. lol I had all the books and magazines when my daughter was born. I am very glad that we ended up with a surprise baby, and getting to homeschool him and be with him all the time is wonderful. I get to enjoy ALL the moments. :D

[Ester Maria]

Here are some BTDT considerations about CONs:

 

1) From the physical standpoint, things change. It is not the same to have a child in your twenties and in your late thirties / early fourties even if you are in an otherwise excellent shape. Physical exhaustion may be a greater factor through the newborn - baby - toddler stages, especially if you have a gap so large that your last experience of it is quite remote and possibly romanticized in retrospect. If so, you are in for a SHOCK.

 

2) The dynamic in the family with your older children will change, especially if the baby happens at the point at which you have tweens or young teens. Their emotional needs seem to DOUBLE overnight. I used to laugh when more experienced mothers were telling me that the tweens though early teens stage is like second toddlerhood, but now I completely understand it. So, what may happen is that you add a HUGE new intensity in your life on the top of another budding HUGE intensity. Consider whether you can work on several very intense fronts - physically, but also mentally and emotionally. It can be unusually draining for the dynamic to get intensified with the older children at the same time when you add another child.

 

3) Your children are not going to be exactly "the same generation", if you have a 10+ years' gap. They are not going to go through the same life milestones approximately at the same time, which is the case you have with very small, several years' gaps. While they will as siblings always find ways to relate to each other, there will be a significant life experience gap... for example, your youngest will be a teenager at the point at which our older children will be already founding their own families, which will naturally be their first worry and priority. Your youngest, unless you will have more children, will probably grow up as a de facto only child because they will be a young schoolchild at the age at which the older chilren have already moved out (for college, work, spreading their wings in forming their own lives), so unless you have several "sets" of children - with a gap between sets, but small gaps inside each set - they will be, in a way, left out of much of the living together & growing together thing. And who knows at which point the youngest child will be able to talk to the older children as "equals" in life. That is something I personally fear... not a lack of a bond between siblings, but a lack of that something which ties their significant life experienes together, in families with an older set of children, a big gap, and then the littlest child.

 

4) The older children's resetment is a very real possibility. Not a typical jealousy - not at this age. But resentment of a more... profound kind. Think of it. They are used to a certain dynamic for many years, which then changes. Initially, everybody is excited about the little one - but with time, especially at those ages, they grow to realize that you cannot be for them everything they hoped you would and which you might have been, had there not been a new life around: a more consistent intellectual partner, more vested into their interests and activities, able to provide them with big chunks of undivided attention (pretty much impossible with a baby). Sure, they grow out of it little by little, they learn to understand, and they grow a lot as persons as a result of that understanding, but it does not mean that some of those changes will not be an emotional drain for you as you become aware of what is going on in your older children's minds and hearts, and as they become disillusioned with what a life with a baby means.

Unlike some previous posters, I have taken the route of not delegating any resonsibility for the little one to my older children (they may volunteer, but I do not request of them to care for or watch after my child). That probably makes it even harder, but I felt that for our family that was the right thing to do in light of all that was said above.

 

So, my recommendation is to go into it with your eyes WIDE open.

It is on many levels a fabulous experience, with a new bundle of energy which energizes the rest of the household and adds great joy, but there have been several very hard patches to make it all work... a lot harder on children, and on me, than the previous ones in a different dynamic.

 

Good luck. :)

Edited March 15, 2012 by Ester Maria

[KRG]

My 2 boys are 13 years apart. I was just shy of 40 when I had ds2. It was a very easy pregnancy though.

 

The positives are that they are so sweet together. I have somewhat of a built in babysitter. We don't go out and have ds1 babysit or anything like that but he does help a lot where his little brother is concerned.

 

The negatives: I have never been so tired in all of my life. ds2 is 18 months old and has slept through the night only a handful of times. He is a full ball of energy and I I am starting to feel old! I feel I am constantly tugged in all directions and switching gears trying to meet the needs of a toddler and a teenager. I worry about growing older and not having a relationship with grandchildren--we will possibly be in our 70s when ds2 has children.

 

Here is something I wrote awhile back--lots of questions from strangers:

 

1) do both of your children have the same father

Although I think it is rude, I can see why people would ask this so I'm going to let it pass but yes both of my children have the same father

 

2) did you intentionally space your children 13 years apart?

seriously, who would do that on purpose???? I just take babies when I can get them. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that we would ever have another child, much less another one 13 years later.

 

3) whose baby are you babysitting

I'd love it if someone paid me to babysit this baby lol--he's mine!

 

4) asked of ds1--is this your baby?

ok, so yeah ds1 looks grown--he was also completely unfazed by the question...

 

5)not a question but 'oh your grandson is so cute' I've never looked my age--I get lots of compliments that I look younger than 40...maybe someone has been lying to me ;)

 

 

When it's all said and done I wouldn't change a thing. I love both of my boys and they are the joy of my life.

Edited March 15, 2012 by KRG
#2 is not meant to offend. It is how I feel. I really do wish that I could have had more children and closer together...

[ktgrok]

I forgot to say before that I'm much more relaxed as a parent now, because I know how fast they grow up. When you have just littles it is easy to worry that they will want to nurse forever, or be waking up in the night forever if you don't do something to fix it. When you have another 10 years later you have perspective....you can say well, I know they won't still be crawling in my bed at 10, so I'm not going to worry about it.

[elinnea]

I have a ds13, a ds10 and a dd3. I was 38 when dd was born. It was difficult starting over again, especially since the boys were just getting to a more independent age when dd was born but overall I wouldn't change a thing. Despite the age and gender difference my oldest son and dd are very close. I think it's been a good thing for the boys to have a little sister. It's given them some nurturing skills that they would not have developed otherwise. My older ds actually does a better job babysitting than dh. :lol: