I've asked before, and I'm asking again (sorry). How *exactly* do I get help?

[Julie in CA]

I've spent the afternoon now, reading and weeping, and considering all of the advice. I treasure every word that you all have posted and sent me in private messages. It's all precious to me, and every post has been read, absorbed, and appreciated.

 

I find myself in the situation of not being able to respond to everyone.

Please know that I value every response, even if I don't reply to yours specifically.

 

One thing that has been astonishing to me is the common thread of vitamin D helping with symptoms of depression and metabolic disorder. It's been mentioned repeatedly now in pms and replies as being incredibly helpful, and I did some light reading about it via Google, and am encouraged that it might be helpful to me.

 

I was exercising regularly, but became discouraged when 45 minutes 4x per week, and assiduously watching my diet produced no weight loss. I'm embarrassed to say that I fell off the exercise wagon, even though I know it's good for me whether or not I lose an ounce.

 

I think my action plan for now is this:

 

Try 2-4 weeks of getting a little sunshine, returning to my walking/jogging, and supplementing with vitamin D.

 

I have checked my insurance providers list, and between that list and recommendations from fellow boardies in my area, I have made a contact list of mental health professionals and their phone numbers. Should my symptoms worsen during the 2-4 weeks of trying exercise & supplementation, I will contact the therapists on my list.

 

I am going to find someone to trust, to touch base with each week while I give these things a try, and I'm going to ask that person to help me follow through with getting help at the end of 2-4 weeks if I don't seem to be improving but lose my personal resolve to follow through. It is going to be hard to pick someone to impose upon for this, but I'm giving myself a deadline of tomorrow night to make the decision. I really don't want to burden anyone with worrying about my whiny, self-absorbed thinking, so I'm going to script the conversation ahead of time so that I don't burst into tears. Man, I really hate this... :crying:

 

I also think I am going to make a purposeful attempt to read my Bible more specifically for encouragement, and will post some verses for reflection and memorization in prominent places around my home.

 

At the end of the 2-4 weeks, either I'll be feeling better, or my "support person" will help me follow through on getting further help.

Does this sound reasonable? I'm thinking reasonably, right?

 

Thank you all.

[melissel]

I really don't want to burden anyone with worrying about my whiny, self-absorbed thinking, so I'm going to script the conversation ahead of time so that I don't burst into tears. Man, I really hate this... :crying:

 

Julie, if you think that anyone you ask to help you with this is going to think you are being some kind of burden, you don't know your friends and family :grouphug: You have virtual strangers on the Internet offering to be your support system. I'm willing to bet that whomever you choose to ask to help you with this will feel touched and honored to support you and will go to bat for you in every possible way.

 

You said yourself that you're the person others lean on. Now it's time to let yourself lean on someone else. You are entitled to that, and you are worth that. Yes, you are.

 

Your plan is a good one. Go for it. For right now, don't even think too much about your weight/losing weight/whatever. Work on fixing how you're feeling and treating yourself first, then worry about the other stuff.

[Hilltop]

 

Your plan is a good one. Go for it. For right now, don't even think too much about your weight/losing weight/whatever. Work on fixing how you're feeling and treating yourself first, then worry about the other stuff.

 

:iagree: :grouphug::grouphug:

[myfunnybunch]

I'm willing to bet that whomever you choose to ask to help you with this will feel touched and honored to support you and will go to bat for you in every possible way.

 

You said yourself that you're the person others lean on. Now it's time to let yourself lean on someone else. You are entitled to that, and you are worth that. Yes, you are.

 

Yes, this. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable to another person and allowing them to offer you love and support is a deeply meaningful gift of trust, not a burden.

 

:grouphug:

 

Cat

[Carol in Cal.]

Great plan, Julie, and just one little note--although sunshine is very cheering in non-sunburn quantities, and can boost your immune system, it won't be strong enough to produce vitamin D reliably for a while yet. So glad you're doing the work up!

[CatholicMom]

I think you've gotten good advice. I would call your regular doctor's office and the secretaries should be able to give you names of psychologists in your area. I would write all the names down that they give you and also google names of psychologists in your area by simply typing into google "psychologist Spring Lake, NJ," for example. You should be able to find some names & phone numbers to add to your list.

 

Then call up each psychologist and ask: "Hi, Are you taking new patients?" (Yes, we are.) "Ok, do you know if you're in network with XYZ Insurance?" Often times they know whether they are or not. If they don't know, call the number on your insurance card to find a list of in-network professionals (unless your dh has a list stashed somewhere). If you find a psychologist that is taking new patients AND is in network with your insurance company, make an appointment! :)

 

Remember, you don't have to know what you have to make an appointment. It's the psychologist's job to find out. Fear not that you don't know what the problem is (depression, eating disorder, something else, or all of the above). The doctor is trained to diagnose and treat if need be.

 

Some thoughts on psychologists versus psychiatrists. I wikipedia'ed it and confirmed that psychiatrists do what psychologists do (diagnose and treat people who are dealing with mental distress), but psychiatrists ALSO are medical doctors and can prescribe medication. This information might help you determine which professional's help you want to enlist. If you are not keen on the idea of being prescribed a medication right now, perhaps you should start with seeing a psychologist. *I* would personally recommend seeing a psychologist because they don't rely on medication to fix things as much as a psychiatrist might and so I'd think you'd be more likely to be empowered to feel better through counseling and other learned strategies.

 

*I* personally recommend you a) make the appointment with a psychologist, AND at the same time b) make an appointment with a nutritionist. Hormones can be very affected by silent nutritional deficiencies, and we all know how profoundly hormones can affect our mind and moods.

 

I would also recommend picking up a copy of Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition http://www.amazon.com/Fertility-Cycles-Nutrition-Marilyn-Shannon/dp/0926412094/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330221973&sr=8-1. This might sound like strange advice (What the heck do my cycles have to do with it? :laugh:). However, it's worth looking into because this little book has helped a lot of women use observed differences in their menstrual cycles to realize some otherwise unnoticeable things that are affecting their mood (most notably with pms) and even their fertility. Fertility may not be an issue for you, but things that affect our mind and moods might also be affecting our hormones and fertility. These things can go hand in hand. The book discusses things like sleeping with too much light in the room, or losing only 10 pounds, or cutting out certain foods, or supplementing with a certain vitamin, and how these seemingly small things sometimes have a dramatic impact on our mind and mood (and menstrual cycle). This book is definitely just an "also" and not a substitute for making an appointment with a professional. But worth the quick read, maybe?

 

I hope you are able to find someone who can really help. My advice is to not talk yourself out of it. Do what you have to do to feel better! Professionals WANT to help. Evaluating what's wrong and helping in these situations is exactly what they're trained for.

 

:grouphug:

 

(ETA: Sorry that I missed your previous post, which I just read. Sounds like a good plan!)

Edited February 26, 2012 by TaraJo29

[Susan C.]

Julie,

 

 

 

I believe that you can call the Minerth Miner clinic (google them) and they will refer you to a couple of local Christian psychiatrists to try.

 

This is spelled incorrectly, and they have formed two organizations:

 

meierclinics.com

 

The other is Minirthclinic.com

 

I was going to suggest Vitamin D (and B12). Either being low will cause depression. You may need to supplement the Vitamin D, it is too early in the season to get much from the sun. And make sure it is D3 (not D2). B12 works best sublingually and you cannot take too much.

 

Best wishes!

Edited February 26, 2012 by Susan C.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Great plan, Julie, and just one little note--although sunshine is very cheering in non-sunburn quantities, and can boost your immune system, it won't be strong enough to produce vitamin D reliably for a while yet. So glad you're doing the work up!

 

I agree. If you want specific advice, buy this. :)

[Sahamamama]

:grouphug: I would start with a good physician, and just lay it all out -- how you feel, how you see yourself, and that you want to find help. Your physician should certainly do blood work and a complete physical to see what's going on with you metabolically. Is your thyroid working properly? What is your A1C level (sugar level over time)? Do you have sleep apnea (can contribute to weight gain)? You will want to start with a good, thorough medical workup.

 

The reason I say this is because years ago, when I was in graduate school, I felt like I was just slowing down and couldn't think straight. I went to a counselor first, which was a mistake. The counselor referred me to a physician, who assumed (wrongly) that since I had come from the counselor, that meant I was depressed. He put me on an anti-depressant, which did absolutely nothing. It turned out that I had Hashimoto's hypothyroiditis -- and a better doctor would have figured that out.

 

If you can't find relief for your feelings of self-loathing through a traditional medical + counseling route, then please continue to advocate for yourself and "seek until you find." You have to be your own self-advocate, you have to believe that you have value to yourself and to those who love you, and that your life and well-being are worth fighting for. If a medical/counseling route didn't help me -- or even if it did ;) -- I would work hard at improving nutrition. Even small changes can contribute to an improved sense of health and well-being.

 

One thing we did around here was to get rid of sugar. :grouphug: I know. I do know. But it was killing me, because I really think the sugar was causing inflammation in my joints. Painful. Since my husband and I "went on Atkins" last year (we're on "modified Atkins" now), we not only lost weight, but I have had much better health in my joints. Every pound off my backside makes a difference that I can feel in my bones. :D

 

Have you heard of Stevia? It's a sweetener made from plant leaves that doesn't raise your blood sugar. We get it at the health food store, but you can probably find it at the grocery store, too.

 

One thing at a time, though. If you have a good doctor, call and make an appointment. IMO, that is where you start, at least for the blood work. It's a beginning. HTH. :grouphug:

[*********]

I agree. If you want specific advice, buy this. :)

 

That's exactly what I use. Well, a different brand, but the same thing. I actually am taking 8400 IU a day right now. I will probably drop down to 6400 IU in the spring when I can get outside more, but for now, it's working well. I learned last year in my nutrition class that up to 10,000IU via supplement can be taken without being toxic, but of course you should check with your dr. to get advice specific to you and your levels.

[Brilliant]

:grouphug:

 

I'm glad you have an action plan.

[Pippen]

I went through this too. I would start with your regular doctor and get on anti-depressants even if you don't think you are depressed. .

 

I haven't read all the responses but I'm glad I didn't jump right into antidepressants because I would have missed the boat of what was really going on. My moods started tanking around the time I hit perimenopause and stabilized again with hormone replacement.

 

Not saying this is the problem for Julie, but thought to toss it out there because it's important to look at the full picture.

 

I hope you find the right path to start on the way to healing.

[Liz CA]

Excellent plan. I am reading through Psalms right now - we've had year of losses (funerals primarily). I forgot how amazing the Psalms are!

[Sahamamama]

Do you want someone to bug/help you until it gets done? When I was at my worst, I couldn't make phone calls. I couldn't deal with bureaucracy on even the most basic levels. I didn't have the persistence to follow through if a doctor called back and left me a message. If you don't have anyone in real life who will contract with you to not leave it alone until it gets done, PM me. I'm happy to make phone calls for you if you need.

 

TO ROSE,

 

If you ever get there again, PM me. I will be happy to make calls for you if you need me to. I mean this. :grouphug:

[Carol in Cal.]

Oh! Peri...

 

You might try borage oil.

In me, it ceased rage. In some people it does nothing. In some it makes them happier. It works for PMS as well. Start with a LOT. Two of those 1300 mg capsules night and morning starting on day 14 and continuing through day 1. Since it's a nutrient, I don't think you can OD.

 

For me, St. John's Wort just made me mad. But I know of people who find it a gentle antidepressant helpful in mild to medium cases, so it might be worth a shot.

 

These are all ALONG WITH the other actions--they a gentle things that might help while you're going after the real issue.

[In the Rain]

 

I am going to find someone to trust, to touch base with each week while I give these things a try, and I'm going to ask that person to help me follow through with getting help at the end of 2-4 weeks if I don't seem to be improving but lose my personal resolve to follow through. It is going to be hard to pick someone to impose upon for this, but I'm giving myself a deadline of tomorrow night to make the decision. I really don't want to burden anyone with worrying about my whiny, self-absorbed thinking, so I'm going to script the conversation ahead of time so that I don't burst into tears. Man, I really hate this... :crying:

 

:grouphug: I doubt your friends would feel burdened. Friends care for and worry about each other anyway. You'd be giving the chosen friend a concrete way to come alongside and care for you. :grouphug:

[Marylou]

http://www.amazon.com/Christians-Get-Depressed-David-Murray/dp/1601781008/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Isabella]

I haven't read all the responses, so I may be repeating what others have suggested.

 

I really, really, recommend that you google EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) counsellor/therapists in your area. You could search the forums, too - it's been mentioned quite a few times by different ones. My girls have really benefited from sessions, and I've only been to 2, but am amazed at my brighter mental attitude. I had the same self-loathing, and now I'm definitely improving.

 

When I was researching EFT for my daughter for other mental issues, I read that many people lost weight just by learning EFT, because it helps you to identify and deal with negative emotions from past experiences that hinder you from achieving what you want. You know how we pretty much sabotage our efforts at health and happiness! :tongue_smilie:

 

If you'd like to PM me for more info on this, or just to chat, feel free. :001_smile:

[Starr]

Your picture is darling, you're creative, interesting and caring. I would love to be your friend and neighbor. I'm glad you've got a plan going! I'm sorry about the exercise and food watching and no weight loss. If you're exercising and your calorie count is down you will eventually loose weight. I've had patients that took 6 weeks for their metabolism to change enough for them to loose. Don't loose heart. :grouphug:

[kalanamak]

A caring doc who has worked in the area will have a clue as to who is good and who is bad.

 

:grouphug:

 

You aren't alone. This is more common than people let on.

[lilypoo]

It sounds like you have a good plan! Stick with it, and let someone know if you end up feeling like you can't execute it.

 

My husband and most of the people around me did NOT think I was depressed. He was certain I was not, my mom was certain I was not, my dad was certain I was not...my older kids were certain I wasn't.

 

But I was, and am doing much better on a mild antidepressant and having also treated several nutritional deficiencies (D, B12, folate) that I discovered after seeking medical help. I have anxiety too and nutrition/exercise are so tied in with the depression/anxiety/OCD stuff. I discovered I have mild hypothyroidism as well...and treating everything has made me feel like a new person. I take 5-HTP and some amino acids as well. It's a whole regimen I worked out that seems to keep my spirits up.

 

Hang in there! :)

[LucyStoner]

It takes a couple of months for Vit D supplementation to make a huge difference in your tested levels.

 

Lots of hugs. I have been there, big time, with severe depression following the birth of my second son and then again at a high point of stress (a lot of factors converged). I would huge you to call for help now rather than waiting several weeks. Vit D is not going to turn it around that fast if your level is very low.

 

Do you have a doctor or someone you like you can reach out to? I reached out to my midwife, the only medical provider I really liked and she helped me get my blood work done, find a counselor I would like, write a plan and she checks in with me to see how it is going. This all makes a huge difference. This is what finally worked for me:

 

-In the short time, an anti-anxiety medication in a modest dose

-HIGH supplements of Vit D, B Complex and Omega 3s. I take about 8000 ius of the vitamin D- it is the only amount that will get my blood levels close to the normal range. (when mine was tested, I barely had any at all- it was about 10.)

-Daily brisk exercise

-Short daily journal on what is working and going well and what is not.

-yoga

-Getting a decent amount of sleep

 

Good luck. I am sorry you are dealing with this. It is not easy.