Dad teaches daughter a lesson on Facebook.

[simka2]

I grew up in Texas (in the country) and shot skeet in my backyard. Sometimes I would do it when angry. Noone ever called the cops and if they did I can't imagine them doing anything. It could just be many are looking at this differently. I don't think it's a big deal that he shot the computer but I've been around guns and even shot them in my own yard.

 

I'm an adult now and don't even own a gun but that's because I don't hunt, don't live in the country, and don't feel like I need one for safety.

 

Oh yeah, we have another skeet shooting area as well! Forgot about that, because we have not used it yet.

[Denisemomof4]

For me, I think the gun is more problematic than running it over with a truck, yes.

 

But I wonder how people would feel if the dad stabbed the computer with a big hunting knife?

 

Ok this is disturbing to me!

 

I didnt watch the video. I was with a group of womeb tonight who were discussing this and thats all im going on. During the discussion, i felt lime saying GREAT for dad!!! But...... I think destroying the computer by smashing it up more...... Acceptable.

 

 

In my house I simply would have locked it up, but i certainly dont fault the dad.

[Impish]

That was Impish who had it out for her tower. I'd only use ones which are no longer working as I couldn't imagine destroying something that someone else could use. So many families would have been so grateful for that laptop ...

 

I see towers used at lots of libraries.

In my defence' date=' I've spent probably 3x as much as that darned thing cost to start w/...replacing mother board, memory, etc...I couldn't give it away to someone, knowing it dies on a regular basis.

 

I need to clear a virus of some sort off of it so I can get back my pics and designs for my cafe press shop, and if I'm *really* lucky, my design program.

 

I want a Mac. *sigh*

[/b']

[mamajag]

OK, I have to ask a question. There has been a bit of a running theme here that suggests that if you're from the South or grew up around guns, that a guy shooting a laptop wouldn't be viewed as a big deal. Is that really true?

 

Here's the thing -- my dh and I grew up in New York City and New Jersey, and my family had guns in the house, but neither my dh nor I have ever heard of someone getting mad at their computer or their TV or some other inanimate object... and shooting it. Never. Ever.

 

And if anyone did do something like that in our town, they would be arrested. Period. People aren't allowed to go to the field out back and fire off a weapon.

 

Yes, it's very, very true. It isn't illegal here to shoot a gun on your own property outside the city limits so long as you own enough land to cover its range. I've never gotten so angry as to drag a computer out right that second, but I did put it in the "target practice" bin. It's like punching a pillow but with bullets and adrenaline.

 

I'm sorry if I sound judgmental, but my dh may be retiring soon and lots of people are telling us to move south... And I'm thinking that if it's that acceptable to go out in the backyard and shoot stuff, it's probably not a wise move for us.

 

Besides, if you're going to shoot a gun where we live, you make sure the guy deserves it, and you double-check to make sure you have enough gas in the car to get you to the Pine Barrens and back. ;)

 

Not that I would know for sure about that.

 

But it's what I've heard... :D

 

I think you would be ok in some parts of Florida, but definitely not Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, or Texas. It's very pro gun down here and if we have the land, we'll likely be shooting on it. I have 5 acres but prefer to go to the range. Both computer shootings were attended by techy friends and we had a blast. Literally. You're not going to have people shooting in residential neighborhoods, though. Most I know really take their gun safety seriously.

 

Where I'm from we're told if someone's trying to break into the house to go ahead and take him down outside and then drag him in the house. Technically they are supposed to be in the house first, but the officers really don't care. They are in the words of the sheriff "blind to drag marks".

[Impish]

OK, I have to ask a question. There has been a bit of a running theme here that suggests that if you're from the South or grew up around guns, that a guy shooting a laptop wouldn't be viewed as a big deal. Is that really true?

 

Here's the thing -- my dh and I grew up in New York City and New Jersey, and my family had guns in the house, but neither my dh nor I have ever heard of someone getting mad at their computer or their TV or some other inanimate object... and shooting it. Never. Ever.

 

And if anyone did do something like that in our town, they would be arrested. Period. People aren't allowed to go to the field out back and fire off a weapon.

 

Honestly, I don't care one way or the other about the laptop thing; I'm just wondering if there really are places where it would be viewed as normal to do what the father did, because if we found out that one of our friends or neighbors shot their kid's computer, we would think he was some kind of nut.

 

I'm sorry if I sound judgmental, but my dh may be retiring soon and lots of people are telling us to move south... And I'm thinking that if it's that acceptable to go out in the backyard and shoot stuff, it's probably not a wise move for us.

 

Besides, if you're going to shoot a gun where we live, you make sure the guy deserves it, and you double-check to make sure you have enough gas in the car to get you to the Pine Barrens and back. ;)

 

Not that I would know for sure about that.

 

But it's what I've heard... :D

Heh. You've never heard of Elvis?

[Just Beachy]

OK, I have to ask a question. There has been a bit of a running theme here that suggests that if you're from the South or grew up around guns, that a guy shooting a laptop wouldn't be viewed as a big deal. Is that really true?.....

 

I'm sorry if I sound judgmental, but my dh may be retiring soon and lots of people are telling us to move south... And I'm thinking that if it's that acceptable to go out in the backyard and shoot stuff, it's probably not a wise move for us.

 

 

I grew up in the south, and yes, many people owned guns. For those who lived in populated areas, shooting at things in the backyard is not a common occurance. However, it is not unusual to take the gun and some things that are about to be recycled or thrown away out to an open, empty field outside of town and shoot at them. For those who have acreage, they do this on their property.

 

Count me in with the group that just does not see this as a big deal. It sounds like the dad did what he felt he had to do. It didn't harm his dd or anyone else. It sounds as if he has tried less extreme measures with no success. It appears that he is genuinely surprised this thing has gone viral, and I will admit that I am, too. He seems like a decent guy who just was at his wit's end. I would welcome him as a neighbor.

 

But no.... if you move to the south and live in somewhat populated area, you will not hear people having target practice in their backyard. You'd have to live out in the boonies to have neighbors that do that.

 

Of course, if you move to Florida, your neighbor could be carrying since people here can legally carry a concealed weapon.

Edited February 11, 2012 by Just Beachy

[Denisemomof4]

Jennifer, when i qouted you and said it was disturbing, i never completed my thought!

 

I could understand destroying a computer because i have seen negatives about them. If i were the parent of that girl, i could understand destroying the computer. Could i do it? I dont think so.

 

I am extremely burnt out and exhausted today (too many things pulling at me!) and didnt put thought behind shooting the computer. I was ok with it being destroyed, though. But then to think of shooting, or stabbing...... It doesnt feel right. It sounds disturbing!

[Teachin'Mine]

In my defence, I've spent probably 3x as much as that darned thing cost to start w/...replacing mother board, memory, etc...I couldn't give it away to someone, knowing it dies on a regular basis.

 

I need to clear a virus of some sort off of it so I can get back my pics and designs for my cafe press shop, and if I'm *really* lucky, my design program.

 

I want a Mac. *sigh*

 

Oh no!!!! I've managed to do it again. :tongue_smilie: Imp the comment about not being able to destroy something someone else could use was totally directed at the laptop shooter - not you or anyone else here! :) I can totally relate to wanting to shoot a computer! :lol: I hope you're able to get it working for recovery at least. How is a Big Mac going to help anything??? :confused: Chocolate I could see ... :D

[Rosy]

On one hand, I think it's appropriate for a girl who is an ungrateful brat in public to get a public smackdown. On the other hand, she didn't become a brat overnight. I don't have teens so I may eat my words very soon, but I think anyone who talks and acts like that in public has been allowed to get away with too much for too long. The dad might want to consider his contribution to the situation.

 

I can't say for sure what I would do, but it seems like it would be a good idea to simply post a, "Dear friends, Darling Daughter will be taking a break from Facebook for an indefinite period of time. She will also not be available by cell phone or email. If you wish to get in touch with her, please feel free to send a message through her father or me."

Edited February 11, 2012 by Rosy

[simka2]

On one hand, I think it's appropriate for a girl who is an ungrateful brat in public to get a public smackdown. On the other hand, she didn't become a brat overnight. I don't have teens so I may eat my words very soon, but I think anyone who talks and acts like that in public has been allowed to get away with too much for too long.

 

I can't say for sure what I would do, but it seems like it would be a good idea to simply post a, "Dear friends, Darling Daughter will be taking a break from Facebook for an indefinite period of time. She will also not be available by cell phone or email. If you wish to get in touch with her, please feel free to send a message through her father or me."

I think they had already tried something similar before. It was not even a blip on the dd's radar. :D

[Impish]

Oh no!!!! I've managed to do it again. :tongue_smilie: Imp the comment about not being able to destroy something someone else could use was totally directed at the laptop shooter - not you or anyone else here! :) I can totally relate to wanting to shoot a computer! :lol: I hope you're able to get it working for recovery at least. How is a Big Mac going to help anything??? :confused: Chocolate I could see ... :D

Mac vs PC :tongue_smilie:

[dangermom]

I didn't like the destruction of the laptop because it seemed wasteful--I would have given it away or something--but the gun part didn't bother me any more than any other form of destruction would have.

 

I asked my husband and he said he might shoot a computer for target practice, but in this case he would have stripped the laptop of parts first. Then I realized that the dad shot a closed laptop--maybe he did strip it down first! :D

[Catwoman]

Ok, I'm hijacking again. ;)

 

Let's see if I've got this right...

 

Basically, we can move to the South and not worry that people are going to shoot at stuff in their yard as long as we live in a city or a suburban area where the yards aren't too large, but if we move to a rural area, all bets are off. And depending where we go, we will no longer view coyotes as being "cute" or "cool," as we do here because it's pretty rare to see one, and if you do, you get bragging rights for a while. In rural areas, Coyotes are Bad. We may also need to watch out for snakes, because I think we can all agree that Poisonous Snakes are Bad, particularly when they are biting you. And wild hogs are no day at the beach, either.

 

I'm thinking that country living may not be for us. :D

 

Thanks for all of the info, everyone! I learn so much cool stuff on this forum! :001_smile:

[simka2]

Ok, I'm hijacking again. ;)

 

Let's see if I've got this right...

 

Basically, we can move to the South and not worry that people are going to shoot at stuff in their yard as long as we live in a city or a suburban area where the yards aren't too large, but if we move to a rural area, all bets are off. And depending where we go, we will no longer view coyotes as being "cute" or "cool," as we do here because it's pretty rare to see one, and if you do, you get bragging rights for a while. In rural areas, Coyotes are Bad. We may also need to watch out for snakes, because I think we can all agree that Poisonous Snakes are Bad, particularly when they are biting you. And wild hogs are no day at the beach, either.

 

I'm thinking that country living may not be for us. :D

 

Thanks for all of the info, everyone! I learn so much cool stuff on this forum! :001_smile:

In town you have to scare off bigger predators! ;) http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=8536729

Edited February 11, 2012 by simka2

[Dustybug]

OK, I have to ask a question. There has been a bit of a running theme here that suggests that if you're from the South or grew up around guns, that a guy shooting a laptop wouldn't be viewed as a big deal. Is that really true?

 

Here's the thing -- my dh and I grew up in New York City and New Jersey, and my family had guns in the house, but neither my dh nor I have ever heard of someone getting mad at their computer or their TV or some other inanimate object... and shooting it. Never. Ever.

 

And if anyone did do something like that in our town, they would be arrested. Period. People aren't allowed to go to the field out back and fire off a weapon.

 

Honestly, I don't care one way or the other about the laptop thing; I'm just wondering if there really are places where it would be viewed as normal to do what the father did, because if we found out that one of our friends or neighbors shot their kid's computer, we would think he was some kind of nut.

 

I'm sorry if I sound judgmental, but my dh may be retiring soon and lots of people are telling us to move south... And I'm thinking that if it's that acceptable to go out in the backyard and shoot stuff, it's probably not a wise move for us.

 

Besides, if you're going to shoot a gun where we live, you make sure the guy deserves it, and you double-check to make sure you have enough gas in the car to get you to the Pine Barrens and back. ;)

 

Not that I would know for sure about that.

 

But it's what I've heard... :D

 

It is most definitely true. It was quite an adjustment for me when I first moved here/got married. I grew up just south of D.C. and that is most definitely NOT a regular occurrence there.

 

I hear gunshots rather frequently here and if you don't like snakes, you definitely won't like it here. lol

[Denisemomof4]

Ok, I'm hijacking again. ;)

 

Let's see if I've got this right...

 

Basically, we can move to the South and not worry that people are going to shoot at stuff in their yard as long as we live in a city or a suburban area where the yards aren't too large, but if we move to a rural area, all bets are off. And depending where we go, we will no longer view coyotes as being "cute" or "cool," as we do here because it's pretty rare to see one, and if you do, you get bragging rights for a while. In rural areas, Coyotes are Bad. We may also need to watch out for snakes, because I think we can all agree that Poisonous Snakes are Bad, particularly when they are biting you. And wild hogs are no day at the beach, either.

 

I'm thinking that country living may not be for us. :D

 

Thanks for all of the info, everyone! I learn so much cool stuff on this forum! :001_smile:

 

There are HUGE differences in lifestyles and cultures right here in the US. Ive lived in the suburbs of San Francisco, now i live in a small, somewhat rural town. Ive lived on the west coadt, now the east coast.

 

Lifestyles, what is enjoyable, and what is accpetable and normal varies wildly. I learned that recently here, and i have been blasted rwcently here for things that seem trivial to me.

 

And...... Country living is the ONLY way to go for me. :D. Country living, rural living, and EVERYTHING that entails....... That would horrify those that cant live like we happily do. :D

[maddykate]

I do not see anything that unusual in what she did - exaggerating, pity partying and venting to friends, combined with some juvenile attention seeking - but the problem is that the modality has changed compared to our youth. Our generation used to do that face to face with our friends in a caffe (and the worst thing that could happen could be somebody overhearing it, but it was not actually registered anywhere to bite you afterward), or writing it into our diaries, which were strictly personal or at best shared with a few closest friends and not intended for the wide audience of the... world, basically. In this aspect, today's teens actually have it worse than we did, because every stupid little mistake can get blown out of proportions if it happens online - it is a different world than the one we grew up in. Somebody told me a few years ago that in a decade or two we might be witnessing a host of young adults taking a drastic step of changing their names for the sole reason of disassociating themselves from their online histories - it is where such carelessness leads to. And most everyone does it - they have profiles on social networks under their real names associated with their forum activities, they upload videos of themselves (in innocent and not so innocent actions), write about what they do and what they think in such ways that the whole world can read it... a much different situation compared to "venting" and "bragging" of our youth. Yet, they are still kids, what do we expect, that they would not gossip on each other and exaggerate about their families which are ruining their lives and say or do a few idiotic things along the way? It is just a medium that has changed, and unfortunately for them, the medium of their youth is quite deadly.

 

I do understand the girl's father wanting to put his foot down on that nonsense, but it is one thing to put your foot down because you think your child should be a heck lot more careful about what they do online (that I would agree with), while it is another thing to put your foot down because you are personally offended with the fact your teenager has at times said something stupid or inappropriate to her friends about what goes on in your family (and here is where my disagreement with his action begins: it seems to me that this is a little personal vendetta of his, rather than a genuine concern about his kid making poor choices online).

 

And then there are many ways of putting your foot down for extreme consequences. Not all of them involve the destruction of property. And especially not all of them involve an approach of taking it to the public sphere (EVEN if the other party made an offense there - this is why he is an adult who should know better). It looks like both the daughter and the father could profit from a lesson about impulsivity and about why do you deal with your dirty laundry inside family, rather than airing it outside for the whole wide world to see, in this case literally. Even if we were to agree that the girl does merit some degree of punishment if she is just not getting it the nice way, there are alternative ways of going about it. If he decided she was not responsible enough for a laptop, he could have given her the chance to save elsewhere whatever documents she wanted saved and then donated it. Or he could have stripped it off internet access. Or he could have sat down with her and deleted all of her online accounts, as obviously she was not mature enough to have them. Or he could have made her exaggerations come true and make her actually do for a while all the things she claimed she had to do (I would do that :tongue_smilie:). Or he could have decided she was being too self-invested and fussing about nothing and gave her an opportunity to experience some real life and how less fortunate people live. Or all of that combined. I mean, really, there is big grey area between being a permissive parent who allows their children to get away poor choices with this, and shooting and humiliating your kid in the public.

 

 

Amen! I couldn't have said it better myself.

[Catwoman]

In town you have to scare of bigger predators! ;) http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=8536729

 

:D :D :D :D

 

The snakes, coyotes, and wild hogs sound scarier!

[Teachin'Mine]

Mac vs PC :tongue_smilie:

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

You're right - Big Macs are hardly politically correct these days. :tongue_smilie:

[simka2]

:D :D :D :D

 

The snakes, coyotes, and wild hogs sound scarier!

 

Did I mention scorpions? If it wasn't total overkill to shoot those, I would. Ugh, they wig me out!

[Laurie4b]

Interesting. Seriously, I do find it interesting.

 

So, it's not the destruction of the lap top, it's that a firearm was involved. Hmmm.

 

For me, it is the violent destruction of the laptop. Doesn't matter if he ran over it with a car, based it in with a baseball bat, or stabbed it with a hunting knife. It's the violent property destruction--because when it's used in punishment like that, it's correlated with violence toward people.

[swellmomma]

This makes sense, and I do see it coming very close to a line I would not be willing to cross. I think though, since she is a minor, he is destroying his own property?

 

Here in the South, especially ranching/farming culture, I have seen these types of interactions. Like I said earlier, they used to wig me out a bit. Then I actually watched quite a few of these 12, 13, 14, and 15 yr olds grow into 16, 17, 18 and 19 years olds. The transformation is amazing. Girls who I thought would become damaged runaways, are leaders in their FFA chapters and heading to the National Young Farmer/Rancher conference thingy ;)

 

I guess I have just been humbled a bit. Watching these parents I thought were way over the top, turn out kids that love and respect them. They can fight like the dixkens, but don't you dare come between them :D.

 

It is a very interesting discussion.

 

This is how I was raised as was my folks, and how my kids are raised. My kids and I and the kids between themselves can faight out WWIII on a daily basis. I don't like that aspect of things but it is what it is. However, do not try to mess with any 1 single member of the clan because we do not fight 1 on 1 with others. You take on 1 you take on all.

 

I am surprised at the people claiming he is a psycho or out of control etc. Was it the ideal way to handle the situation? no. But that doesn't make him a psycho, it makes him a parent trying his darnest to raise his child to be a good person, to show respect, to have a work ethic, to be responsible etc. We all want that for our kids, and along the way we make bad decisions. Posting his response like this online was a bad decision, but that doesn't make him a psycho. Not to mention that this guy does not look spitting mad to me, I have been spitting mad on more than one occasion. Those are the times my eyes glow with the fire behind them, I start foaming at the mouth and look like I have been possessed by satan himself. THis dad looked ticked off for sure, but no where near spitting mad.

[pqr]

For me, it is the violent destruction of the laptop. Doesn't matter if he ran over it with a car, based it in with a baseball bat, or stabbed it with a hunting knife. It's the violent property destruction--because when it's used in punishment like that, it's correlated with violence toward people.

 

So when I tell the kids to pick up their toys or they go in the trash and then throw said toys in the trash it is correlated to throwing people away too?

 

Destruction of an item is NOT correlated to destruction of people there is no link.

[maddykate]

I am really shocked at how many people think what this dad did was okay. How many posts have we had lately about dysfuctional families and things that were abuse that we didn't realize was abuse? She may be laughing it off due to the attention they have gotten, but I guarantee you she will never forget what he did to her and may someday be posting on a homeschooling forum about the damage it caused. I truly don't understand how this man's behavior is acceptable under any circumstances. Oh, and if this video was about his neighbors, they could have called the police on him. But somehow it is ok for him to do it to his daughter. I don't get it.

[Catwoman]

Did I mention scorpions? If it wasn't total overkill to shoot those, I would. Ugh, they wig me out!

 

OK, I'm adding scorpions to the Bad list. :D

[pqr]

I am really shocked at how many people think what this dad did was okay. How many posts have we had lately about dysfuctional families and things that were abuse that we didn't realize was abuse? She may be laughing it off due to the attention they have gotten, but I guarantee you she will never forget what he did to her and may someday be posting on a homeschooling forum about the damage it caused. I truly don't understand how this man's behavior is acceptable under any circumstances. Oh, and if this video was about his neighbors, they could have called the police on him. But somehow it is ok for him to do it to his daughter. I don't get it.

 

 

I don't simply think it was acceptable, I think it was a very good lesson. (Personally I think I would have sold the laptop, but I have no truck with what he did)

 

Some posters have complained but been unable to explain why there is an issue.

 

1. The girl was incredibly rude and stupid.

2. She was punished.

 

Where is the issue?

 

The father is not (by any evidence shown here) nuts, the firearm was used safely, there was no violence towards the daughter.

 

I am not being argumentative but what is the issue?

 

As to "abuse we did not know was abuse" perhaps that is because some of the things we call abuse today are actually not abuse. Psychobabble is easily accepted but that does not mean it is always correct.

Edited February 11, 2012 by pqr

[mamajag]

I am really shocked at how many people think what this dad did was okay. How many posts have we had lately about dysfuctional families and things that were abuse that we didn't realize was abuse? She may be laughing it off due to the attention they have gotten, but I guarantee you she will never forget what he did to her and may someday be posting on a homeschooling forum about the damage it caused. I truly don't understand how this man's behavior is acceptable under any circumstances. Oh, and if this video was about his neighbors, they could have called the police on him. But somehow it is ok for him to do it to his daughter. I don't get it.

 

If he did it to the neighbors, he'd be destroying someone else's laptop, not his own.

 

I think the main problem with kids these days is the sheer number of people who underestimate them. The kid is angry but OK. She won't forget it. She'll probably even laugh about it with her dad and thank him for it later. It's how it goes down here.

 

If he had a history of violence or anything untoward, with this amount of media coverage it would already be news. I think he's a dad that got fed up and shot an inanimate object who loves his daughter dearly and wants the best for her. The updates since are encouraging.

[mamajag]

Ok, I'm hijacking again. ;)

 

Let's see if I've got this right...

 

Basically, we can move to the South and not worry that people are going to shoot at stuff in their yard as long as we live in a city or a suburban area where the yards aren't too large, but if we move to a rural area, all bets are off. And depending where we go, we will no longer view coyotes as being "cute" or "cool," as we do here because it's pretty rare to see one, and if you do, you get bragging rights for a while. In rural areas, Coyotes are Bad. We may also need to watch out for snakes, because I think we can all agree that Poisonous Snakes are Bad, particularly when they are biting you. And wild hogs are no day at the beach, either.

 

I'm thinking that country living may not be for us. :D

 

Thanks for all of the info, everyone! I learn so much cool stuff on this forum! :001_smile:

 

It's not bragging with the coyotes. They kill livestock, and livestock is important to the livelihoods of many gun-toting rural Southerners. If one of us starts seeing/killing coyotes, we do spread the word so others nearby will know to either start watching their livestock more closely or bring them in at night. It's helpful to know these things because in my area we may go a year or two without issue only to be overrun the next.

[Catwoman]

It's not bragging with the coyotes. They kill livestock, and livestock is important to the livelihoods of many gun-toting rural Southerners. If one of us starts seeing/killing coyotes, we do spread the word so others nearby will know to either start watching their livestock more closely or bring them in at night. It's helpful to know these things because in my area we may go a year or two without issue only to be overrun the next.

 

I have heard that they can do tremendous damage, and that even one coyote can kill a lot of livestock very quickly, as well as be very dangerous to children and pets. In our area, it is very unusual to see a coyote, so people tend not to view them as dangerous predators until there is a news story about someone's dog being attacked. But I can't even remember the last time there was a news story about a coyote attack here. They are really that rare to see.

[Shawna in Texas]

DD thought the video was awesome (she has a friend that complains like that on FB, so I think she was thinking of her). DH thought it was stupid. He thinks the dad could have done something more mortifying and clever that wasn't shooting down an innocent computer. I pretty much agree. He was trying to make an impact and I think it may have backfired (heh) on him.

 

I didn't like the destruction of the laptop because it seemed wasteful--I would have given it away or something--but the gun part didn't bother me any more than any other form of destruction would have.

 

I asked my husband and he said he might shoot a computer for target practice, but in this case he would have stripped the laptop of parts first. Then I realized that the dad shot a closed laptop--maybe he did strip it down first! :D

 

I'm kind of ashamed that my first thought was of the laptop. I'm sure he stripped it. I hope he did.

 

Ok, I'm hijacking again. ;)

 

Let's see if I've got this right...

 

Basically, we can move to the South and not worry that people are going to shoot at stuff in their yard as long as we live in a city or a suburban area where the yards aren't too large, but if we move to a rural area, all bets are off. And depending where we go, we will no longer view coyotes as being "cute" or "cool," as we do here because it's pretty rare to see one, and if you do, you get bragging rights for a while. In rural areas, Coyotes are Bad. We may also need to watch out for snakes, because I think we can all agree that Poisonous Snakes are Bad, particularly when they are biting you. And wild hogs are no day at the beach, either.

 

I'm thinking that country living may not be for us. :D

 

Thanks for all of the info, everyone! I learn so much cool stuff on this forum! :001_smile:

 

Yes. This is it exactly. I've lived in an east Texas small town, a small town in SE Texas, Austin, and Houston. It's a different world between the two. I don't think I could manage the country again.

 

In town you have to scare off bigger predators! ;) http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=8536729

 

My dh inherited an old rifle from his grandfather. Thing hasn't been shot in 20 years. I'm quite confident that should I need to, I could scare the crap out of an intruder with it.

[maddykate]

I don't simply think it was acceptable, I think it was a very good lesson. (Personally I think I would have sold the laptop, but I have no truck with what he did)

 

Some posters have complained but been unable to explain why there is an issue.

 

1. The girl was incredibly rude and stupid.

2. She was punished.

 

Where is the issue?

 

The father is not (by any evidence shown here) nuts, the firearm was used safely, there was no violence towards the daughter.

 

I am not being argumentative but what is the issue?

 

As to "abuse we did not know was abuse" perhaps that is because some of the things we call abuse today are actually not abuse. Psychobabble is easily accepted but that does not mean it is always correct.

 

 

 

The issue is that the daughter evidently learned her behavior from her father and when she behaves as he does, she gets punished and humiliated for it. All teenagers have negative feelings like those at some point, and many of them write them out. He found evidence of her feelings and rather than addressing them in a way that would get to the bottom of the situation, he behaves in a like manner and shows what an idiot he is. There is no good, other than publicity, that can come out of this situation, unless they are able to learn to handle themselves in a different manner.

 

As far as the abuse goes... Do you not think that humiliation is a form of abuse? Do you not think that bullying is a form of abuse? In my mind, that father did both of those things. Also, telling a 15 year old to get off her lazy a$$ and get a job every day sounds an awful lot like verbal abuse.

[kalanamak]

I didn't look at it, but just scrolled through the replies. I don't HAVE to see it to know all parties were infra-dig.

"Fools names and fools faces..." as my mother often quoted.

[LibraryLover]

Well everyone, its been real, good luck with your "using violent weapons to destroy your kid's things is sweet" thread. I've wasted too much time on this man. Off to do something productive with myself.

 

Oh, dear. Sorry about that.

 

I get a bit crankier as I age. I also see that teens are not bowls of mushy yogurt. Decent, healthy heads (of both parent & child) seem to work through their imperfections; ending up none the worse for wear, despite some of their odditities.

[mamajag]

The issue is that the daughter evidently learned her behavior from her father and when she behaves as he does, she gets punished and humiliated for it. All teenagers have negative feelings like those at some point, and many of them write them out. He found evidence of her feelings and rather than addressing them in a way that would get to the bottom of the situation, he behaves in a like manner and shows what an idiot he is. There is no good, other than publicity, that can come out of this situation, unless they are able to learn to handle themselves in a different manner.

 

As far as the abuse goes... Do you not think that humiliation is a form of abuse? Do you not think that bullying is a form of abuse? In my mind, that father did both of those things. Also, telling a 15 year old to get off her lazy a$$ and get a job every day sounds an awful lot like verbal abuse.

 

What about the abuse she unleashed on her family more than once? Do you not think they were embarrassed? If what the father said was abuse, certainly what the daughter did was abuse. He turned an eye for an eye and helped his daughter understand exactly what she'd done. It isn't fun to be publicly outed like that, but I guarantee she has learned her lesson.

 

Down here, you get your driver's license and you get a job or you help out in other ways. If you don't have a paying job, you have more chores around the house and farm. It just is the way it is. We want our children to have a strong work ethic and an understanding that nothing, absolutely nothing in life is free.

[pqr]

The issue is that the daughter evidently learned her behavior from her father and when she behaves as he does, she gets punished and humiliated for it. All teenagers have negative feelings like those at some point, and many of them write them out. He found evidence of her feelings and rather than addressing them in a way that would get to the bottom of the situation, he behaves in a like manner and shows what an idiot he is. There is no good, other than publicity, that can come out of this situation, unless they are able to learn to handle themselves in a different manner.

 

As far as the abuse goes... Do you not think that humiliation is a form of abuse? Do you not think that bullying is a form of abuse? In my mind, that father did both of those things. Also, telling a 15 year old to get off her lazy a$$ and get a job every day sounds an awful lot like verbal abuse.

 

Some teens are lazy, some need to get off their a$$es and get a job. That is not abuse that is a fact. Were mine to behave in such a disrespectful manner they should expect punishment. I would also demand that a job be found and tell them that they were lazy, since when is the truth abuse?

 

I did not see evidence of bullying, she was justly punished for outrageous behavior. Are we now to say that punishment is bullying?

 

How do you glean the fact that she learned her behavior from her father? He apparently works; she does not. He demands respect; she does not give it. He is respectful to the woman who cleans his house; she is not. Just what behavior did she learn from him?

 

Further she had been warned before, what should he have done? Draw another line?

 

You see him as being an idiot, I see him as being a father who found a rather novel punishment.

 

Why is he an idiot? Do not tell me why you do not like him, tell me why he is an idiot.

[Forget-Me-Not]

My main issue is the public humiliation. I don't think humiliation is ever a good parenting/discipline technique, no matter the offense.

 

Yeah, she publicly humiliated her family by posting this. But he could have led and parented by example and handled this privately in their home. I don't even care so much that he shot the laptop. I think it's extreme and wasteful, and I do think the purposeful destruction of personal property borders on abusive. But, IMO, the big line was crossed when he made a video of it and purposely doled out humiliation in return for humiliation.

[pqr]

My main issue is the public humiliation. I don't think humiliation is ever a good parenting/discipline technique, no matter the offense.

 

 

Why?

 

One should see the results of one's actions.

 

Play sports and do not practice and go down to defeat 10-0. That is humiliating but it is also a good lesson.

 

Fail to do your homework and get a low grade, which used to be posted. That is humiliating but also a good lesson.

 

In many places the police blotter is publicly available. Also humiliating but a good lesson.

 

Act like a spoiled brat and be humiliated. So what?

[maddykate]

Some teens are lazy, some need to get off their a$$es and get a job. That is not abuse that is a fact. Were mine to behave in such a disrespectful manner they should expect punishment. I would also demand that a job be found and tell them that they were lazy, since when is the truth abuse?

 

I did not see evidence of bullying, she was justly punished for outrageous behavior. Are we now to say that punishment is bullying?

 

How do you glean the fact that she learned her behavior from her father? He apparently works; she does not. He demands respect; she does not give it. He is respectful to the woman who cleans his house; she is not. Just what behavior did she learn from him?

 

Further she had been warned before, what should he have done? Draw another line?

 

You see him as being an idiot, I see him as being a father who found a rather novel punishment.

 

Why is he an idiot? Do not tell me why you do not like him, tell me why he is an idiot.

 

 

Telling someone the truth is not abuse, but talking to them in a demeaning way and demoralizing them is. As an adult, I would expect that he should have the ability to express himself in a much healthier way that he did on that video.

 

Oh, and he may demand respect, but unfortunately, it isn't something that can be demanded and given...it must be earned and I assure you, he has not done anything to earn it in that video.

 

A father reacting to a 15 year old's behavior like a 15 year old shows me that he has limited abilities of communication and is an idiot. He is an idiot because it is his responsibility to teach her and guide her correctly and set forth examples of what is and is not appropriate behavior; based on that video, he has failed miserably.

 

So, it is okay for him to defend the house keeper, but to humiliate his daughter? Again, that makes no sense to me at all. This 15 year old girl will eventually grow up to be an adult and will think that it is okay for the men in her life to treat her and talk to her like her father does. It has done nothing but set her up for further dysfunction...the cycle will continue.

 

Why do you think it is okay to humiliate a child (because at 15, she is)?

[maddykate]

Why?

 

One should see the results of one's actions.

 

Play sports and do not practice and go down to defeat 10-0. That is humiliating but it is also a good lesson.

 

Fail to do your homework and get a low grade, which used to be posted. That is humiliating but also a good lesson.

 

In many places the police blotter is publicly available. Also humiliating but a good lesson.

 

Act like a spoiled brat and be humiliated. So what?

 

The differences in the examples you gave were that they weren't done to you by the one that is supposed to protect and love you. Who, more than a father, should be the one to protect you? And, yes, sometimes that means that the father should protect her from herself, as is the case of this situation.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Why?

 

One should see the results of one's actions.

 

Play sports and do not practice and go down to defeat 10-0. That is humiliating but it is also a good lesson.

 

Fail to do your homework and get a low grade, which used to be posted. That is humiliating but also a good lesson.

 

In many places the police blotter is publicly available. Also humiliating but a good lesson.

 

Act like a spoiled brat and be humiliated. So what?

 

Your examples are natural consequences. Note that I said it should not be used as a *parenting* technique. I don't think children should be deliberately humiliated by their parents. This could have been handled just as effectively without the public humiliation.

[Forget-Me-Not]

The differences in the examples you gave were that they weren't done to you by the one that is supposed to protect and love you. Who, more than a father, should be the one to protect you?

 

Exactly.

[pqr]

Telling someone the truth is not abuse, but talking to them in a demeaning way and demoralizing them is. As an adult, I would expect that he should have the ability to express himself in a much healthier way that he did on that video.

 

Oh, and he may demand respect, but unfortunately, it isn't something that can be demanded and given...it must be earned and I assure you, he has not done anything to earn it in that video.

 

A father reacting to a 15 year old's behavior like a 15 year old shows me that he has limited abilities of communication and is an idiot. He is an idiot because it is his responsibility to teach her and guide her correctly and set forth examples of what is and is not appropriate behavior; based on that video, he has failed miserably.

 

So, it is okay for him to defend the house keeper, but to humiliate his daughter? Again, that makes no sense to me at all. This 15 year old girl will eventually grow up to be an adult and will think that it is okay for the men in her life to treat her and talk to her like her father does. It has done nothing but set her up for further dysfunction...the cycle will continue.

 

Why do you think it is okay to humiliate a child (because at 15, she is)?

 

 

You completely miss the point he is trying to make her stronger not weaker. Where do you get the idea that he wants her to be treated badly by men? He wants her to get a job (ie be capable of earning money), he wants her to treat the housekeeper with respect (ie not act like a spoiled brat). He wants her to treat her mother with respect (hardly the activities of a father who wants a milquetoast for a daughter)

 

Yes a child who acts like she did deserves punishment and a little humiliation is not a bad thing.

 

There is nothing unhealthy about telling a 15 year old that she is lazy. It appears to be a fact. What you want is to coddle the child and in a few years she will be in the real world where the humiliation will come in the form of "You are fired!"

 

You see it as acting like a 15 year old, I do not. I think it was a novel punishment and very effectively communicated the result of outrageous behavior, did it not? The communication aspect was perfect. "Act like an a$$ and not only do you loose your computer but you will be shown to be a spoiled brat and you now have to earn the money not only to pay me back but to buy another computer" What part of that message did not get through?

[maddykate]

What about the abuse she unleashed on her family more than once? Do you not think they were embarrassed? If what the father said was abuse, certainly what the daughter did was abuse. He turned an eye for an eye and helped his daughter understand exactly what she'd done. It isn't fun to be publicly outed like that, but I guarantee she has learned her lesson.

 

Down here, you get your driver's license and you get a job or you help out in other ways. If you don't have a paying job, you have more chores around the house and farm. It just is the way it is. We want our children to have a strong work ethic and an understanding that nothing, absolutely nothing in life is free.

 

Seriously? I imagine that every single teen out there has had those same thoughts as this girl and some of us even wrote it down. She just happened to think like a teen and not realize the consequences. Further, how many families struggle with other issues, (drugs, pregnancy, etc.) that "unleashed" embarrassment on their families? Not many of the families would have ever done what this father did to his daughter. I think the only lesson she learned from this stunt is that she can't trust her father. He can't handle it when it gets tough.

 

As a parent of a teen daughter, I pray that I am able to guide her gently and set the right examples. I will use this father as an example of exactly what not to do.

[pqr]

S I will use this father as an example of exactly what not to do.

 

 

And we have already used him as an example of what to do.

 

Incidentally the kids thought it was most effective, and fair. (Yes I fast forwarded through the obscenities in the letter)

[maddykate]

You completely miss the point he is trying to make her stronger not weaker. Where do you get the idea that he wants her to be treated badly by men? He wants her to get a job (ie be capable of earning money), he wants her to treat the housekeeper with respect (ie not act like a spoiled brat). He wants her to treat her mother with respect (hardly the activities of a father who wants a milquetoast for a daughter)

 

Yes a child who acts like she did deserves punishment and a little humiliation is not a bad thing.

 

There is nothing unhealthy about telling a 15 year old that she is lazy. It appears to be a fact. What you want is to coddle the child and in a few years she will be in the real world where the humiliation will come in the form of "You are fired!"

 

You see it as acting like a 15 year old, I do not. I think it was a novel punishment and very effectively communicated the result of outrageous behavior, did it not? The communication aspect was perfect. "Act like an a$$ and not only do you loose your computer but you will be shown to be a spoiled brat and you now have to earn the money not only to pay me back but to buy another computer" What part of that message did not get through?

 

 

We will just have to agree to disagree. And let me be clear, I disagree with every.single.word you said. I won't argue with you when apparently we are on opposite ends of what is appropriate and what is not.

 

Have a good night.

[LibraryLover]

I certainly won't say that was this guy did was 'respectful'. I dont think it was at all. And yet it doesnt appear that his child is in emotional pain. Tiger Mom got tremendous support even as she screamed and called her little child 'garbage', tore up handmade cards, and didn't allow her child to go to the bathroom during music practice. But that got her kid into an Ivy, so who cares? This cowboy girl might not get into a liberal Austin campus now. ;) Yale prof Vs cowboy. Hmmmmm...

Edited February 11, 2012 by LibraryLover

[pqr]

We will just have to agree to disagree. And let me be clear, I disagree with every.single.word you said. I won't argue with you when apparently we are on opposite ends of what is appropriate and what is not.

 

Have a good night.

 

 

Likewise, though frankly I do not see you you can argue that asking a child to respect her mother is indicative of wanting a weak daughter or how demanding that she get a job is a bad thing.

 

Have a pleasant evening.

Edited February 11, 2012 by pqr

[Catwoman]

Yes. This is it exactly. I've lived in an east Texas small town, a small town in SE Texas, Austin, and Houston. It's a different world between the two. I don't think I could manage the country again.

 

Thanks!

 

My dh inherited an old rifle from his grandfather. Thing hasn't been shot in 20 years. I'm quite confident that should I need to, I could scare the crap out of an intruder with it.

 

Or perhaps you could just beat him half to death with it. ;)

[Shawna in Texas]

 

Or perhaps you could just beat him half to death with it. ;)

 

Considering I don't let ammo in the house, it's what I'd have to do if he was stupid enough to come closer.

 

When I was around 8-9, my dad was able to scare an intruder by throwing a snake at him. The snake was literally less than a foot long and thin as a pencil.

[Ibbygirl]

OK, I have to ask a question. There has been a bit of a running theme here that suggests that if you're from the South or grew up around guns, that a guy shooting a laptop wouldn't be viewed as a big deal. Is that really true?

 

Here's the thing -- my dh and I grew up in New York City and New Jersey, and my family had guns in the house, but neither my dh nor I have ever heard of someone getting mad at their computer or their TV or some other inanimate object... and shooting it. Never. Ever.

 

And if anyone did do something like that in our town, they would be arrested. Period. People aren't allowed to go to the field out back and fire off a weapon.

 

Honestly, I don't care one way or the other about the laptop thing; I'm just wondering if there really are places where it would be viewed as normal to do what the father did, because if we found out that one of our friends or neighbors shot their kid's computer, we would think he was some kind of nut.

 

I'm sorry if I sound judgmental, but my dh may be retiring soon and lots of people are telling us to move south... And I'm thinking that if it's that acceptable to go out in the backyard and shoot stuff, it's probably not a wise move for us.

 

 

 

I live in South Florida on the county line between and Dade (Miami) and Broward (Ft. Lauderdale) and I've never seen people just shooting guns off in their backyards. People go to shooting ranges to practice, but don't shoot on their own property that I've ever heard of (or seen).

 

I was shocked by the video as well, but after reading 19 pages of this thread now, I see that it is quite normal in his culture. It is a little intimidating to me as well, but South Florida is really not "Southern". You have to go further north in the state to get to more true Southern culture. Down here we have a bunch of Latinos who usually deal with family matters in a more private way. I really do learn something new everyday.