Ginevra Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 You know which book I mean...the book you give them, such as The Body Book for Boys. Do you give it to them? Make a daily study of it together? Read it to them and try to keep a straight face through "er*tions" certain types of "dreams"? I'm chicken and don't want to read that together! Dh is not a reader and does not do any actual homeschooling, so there is even less likelihood of him making a study of it with ds than there is of me doing so. What are Hive moms doing with this part of motherhood? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Yes, I read the book(s) with them. We've always been very open about things and it doesn't worry me. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I talked to my son and asked him whether he would prefer to just have a book or whether he would like to talk to me. He wants a book to read by himself, and I am not supposed to ask him whether he read it, or what he read. I pre-read the book on my own and it explains what he needs to know at this point. My parents gave me a book. I would never in a million years have wanted that "talk" with my mother! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Dh is going through the books with the boys. The "younger" books he read to them. The one for teens he gave to them to read on their own. He tells them to read a chapter then they go out for breakfast or lunch or something and he tries to discuss it with them. He says it's awkward sometimes but it's important enough to continue. He tries to do this once a month with each ds; he takes them separately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I'll probably give them a book and let them read it themselves, but tell them that I'm open to questions. Yes, it will certainly be a little awkward, but I'd rather them talk to me about these things than even to dh, because he's much more uptight about things than I am. I think he'd just say something along the lines of "That's private- talk about it with your wife someday!" :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Dh went through the books with ds. I would have done it, but felt it was something dh should do. I don't ask what they discuss, but ds knows he can ask questions of either of us. I did read through the book, not having brothers, I had some questions myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 DH knows it's his job - I don't know exactly how he plans to handle it. We just had a giggle this morning, as currently I've primarily been the one dealing with some 'girl' stuff with DD - he said the 'wait until the boys...' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 DH knows it's his job - I don't know exactly how he plans to handle it. We just had a giggle this morning, as currently I've primarily been the one dealing with some 'girl' stuff with DD - he said the 'wait until the boys...' I know this is the standard thinking, but I have my doubts about many fathers doing anything at all. It was easy with DD, cuz I'm a girl, too. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 My DH went through the book with DS12 last year. They did it one night a week, so about a chapter a week, and sometimes combined it with a trip to the park or BK or to get ice cream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Absolutely. I have and so has their dad. If you can't have an honest and open discussion about it, then you shouldn't be doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 It's funny you ask this, I've recently bought a couple of such books for DS10, and I've been agonising over the same question. I really don't think DH would be at all happy going through them with him. I've considered asking DS12 if he would, but that seems rather unfair, and terribly cowardly. So, I'm either going to have to read through it with him, or, my favourite option so far, throwing it at him and running ... :lol: I'll be very interested to read the responses here. Best wishes Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 My ds13 and I have an open and ongoing dialogue about that sort of thing. I doubt I'd sit down and go through it aloud with him unless he asked. We'd probably read a chapter per week, independently, and then discuss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I don't understand fathers not wanting to talk about this with their sons. My DH kept telling me he wished his father had talked to him about those things. If parents don't talk to their kids about s*x, they will learn it elsewhere. I think it's very important. Uncomfortable, maybe, but necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I don't understand fathers not wanting to talk about this with their sons. My DH kept telling me he wished his father had talked to him about those things. If parents don't talk to their kids about s*x, they will learn it elsewhere. I think it's very important. Uncomfortable, maybe, but necessary. While this is not true for every kid, I do think it is true enough that it should become a truism: If you don't get comfortable talking to them about it they will find someone who is and it may not be someone you would be happy about! If you are embarrassed maybe you could try saying it in front of a mirror until it loses it's shock factor. I talk to my kids about such things when we are talking about biology/human anatomy. Much later comes the emotional connection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Absolutely. I have and so has their dad. If you can't have an honest and open discussion about it, then you shouldn't be doing it. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I read it, handed it over and then casually asked questions, brought up a topic to discuss, or asked if he had any questions. He preferred it that way and we were able to discuss things as he wanted to. He would have been embarrassed to read it with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I gave my son some books which he read on his own and then we did a high school health class last year where we discussed things. I can't imagine that any boy would want to discuss those things with his mother, but since his father was never going to do it, someone had to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 My boys have asked me questions, and I've answered, but when it came to that book I did just give it to DS and explain what it was, etc. and let him know he could ask me any questions he had relating to the book, but that the book was a guide for him to use, look at, read, etc. whenever he wanted/needed. He keeps it in his room, and he has asked me questions but not often. It's about time to order it for my 2nd son, and I might discuss it with him more just because he tends to want to discuss things more than the older. We'll see what he's comfortable with when the time comes. I did preview the book first and make sure that I *could* just hand it off for them to read on their own. Once I was comfortable with that side of things, I had no problem letting them read it solo. Well, the 2nd hasn't read it yet but I would allow him to do so, no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I know this is the standard thinking, but I have my doubts about many fathers doing anything at all. It was easy with DD, cuz I'm a girl, too. :tongue_smilie: Yes, true. I don't know if he plans to have a book/talk route, I can't picture it, but it's possible I guess. That said, we're both pretty open and non-taboo with the kids. I can very plausibly imagine open, frank discussions. But my boys are still babies, so I'm allowed to stick my head in the sand on this issue for a while yet! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebrindam Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I told my boys most things before I gave them the books. They ask questions or we talk about stuff as it comes up, but I have no fear of The Talk as we have been having it for years in bits and pieces. There is no longer any embarrassment in it. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I read it, handed it over and then casually asked questions, brought up a topic to discuss, or asked if he had any questions. He preferred it that way and we were able to discuss things as he wanted to. He would have been embarrassed to read it with me. See, this is what I think, too. I even remember being embarrassed when my *mother* said certain things to me and I was in my teens! Like if she would talk about some feature of her own cycle. It just seemed like an overshare to me. I don't want any of my kids to be lacking any necessary information, but I'm really a super-private person and I don't even think I could fake a casual discussion about details. One thing that was nice with the book when my dd was coming to this point was, even though I did discuss certain things with her, she had the book in her bedroom and I know she referred back to it at times. I'm really completely fine with that vs. her feeling like she has to have an embarrassing conversation with me like, "Now how, exactly do you use a tam*on again?" :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) I'm sure that I will be the one to have those conversations with our boys. DH would probably say something profound like, "Have fun, but keep it clean" (to quote an old Dr. Ruth saying.) I'm trying to decide if it will be better to share info and answer questions individually, or to present it as a class to all three boys since they are so close in age. Oy. I am so glad I have a few more years. Edited February 9, 2012 by Sheep Lady Mama typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Ds had a talk with his Dad who is not too shy about these things. But we covered all kinds of anatomy and related functions with a straight face. I figured if I make some kind of taboo out of it, it will seem "forbidden" and if I make some kind of joke he would be embarrassed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 or, my favourite option so far, throwing it at him and running ... :lol: If your aim is pretty good, I don't see any problem with that. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 We've both discussed the book and gone through it with him. We're pretty open about everything for the most part. And he asks questions when things come up. (no pun intended) Ready for TMI - yesterday he asked me why he has hair growing out of his butt. Led to an interesting conversation. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Yes, I read the book(s) with them. We've always been very open about things and it doesn't worry me. Laura Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 If your aim is pretty good, I don't see any problem with that. ;) :lol: We've both discussed the book and gone through it with him. We're pretty open about everything for the most part. And he asks questions when things come up. (no pun intended) Ready for TMI - yesterday he asked me why he has hair growing out of his butt. Led to an interesting conversation. :tongue_smilie: OMG! I am :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: And now dd is asking me what in the heck is so funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I even remember being embarrassed when my *mother* said certain things to me and I was in my teens! Like if she would talk about some feature of her own cycle. It just seemed like an overshare to me. : I think part of the difference is giving kids the basics and the FACTS vs. sharing more personal details. I know what you mean about an overshare. My mom tried a very stilted talk with me once, gave me a book that literally DID talk about birds and bees and never did really touch on humans...........but there were a few times when she shared something WAY too personal of a detail for me to know about. Finding the balance....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 If your aim is pretty good, I don't see any problem with that. ;) Yep, knocked him right out. It's such a lot less embarassing reading through this stuff with an unconscious person :p. :D Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I was doing Health with my son so it was the perfect opening for us. I gave him one chapter to read each night. My son is not shy about discussing anything and we have had some hysterical conversations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandra in FL Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Which book are you using? I see several on Amazon - The Boy's Body Book, The Body Book for Boys, What's Happening to my Body, My Body Myself for Boys, American Medical Association Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen, etc. This would be for a 13 year old boy who's started puberty (shot up 5 inches over the summer). I've discussed the basics of anatomy/sex but nothing like er*tions" certain types of "dreams". Any suggestions? He has very mild Asperger's and I'll be the one explaining (not dh). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Another idea is Passport to Purity -the info is given on CDs so you don't have to explain it iall yourself, but you are there with your pre-teen and do activities together. You don't have to go away for the weekend. I think the best age to do this (book or Passport to Purity ) is around 9-11 (Depending on the book) BEFORE puberty hits. If you wait until 13 to talk about hair and erections, it is too late-he is already experiencing both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 There is also a book for parents by Stan and Brenna Jones called "How and When to tell your Kids about Sex." It is a Christian book, and the authors also have written a series of 4 books about sex and puberty for kids. These books are very nicely done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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