S/O Shunning

[Myeightkiddies]

A long time ago when I was in my early 20s, I went to a small church. As far as I can recall it was autonomous, so not associated with any particular denomination. My dh was working very odd shifts and rarely ever attended. There were things happening with the administration of the church that did not sit well with me, not going to go into detail to make this long story shorter.

 

After speaking with DH and him agreeing it was best based on what was happening there, I quietly left the church. There was no controversy or swan-song. I thanked them for allowing me the opportunity to attend, privately, and went on my way.

 

My best friend, who I was friends with even before either of us joined that church, also attended. She wasn't returning my calls and cancelled our usual outings and such. Basically, she quit speaking to me. It went from daily conversations and activities for five years to nothing, overnight.

 

After about a year, she lets me know that she had been shunning me for leaving the church. I was shocked. She informed me that she had forgiven me and was ready to resume our friendship. Let's say that it took me a bit longer to forgive her, which I did. Interestingly enough, she did this after she left that church for similar reasons.

 

Our friendship lasted about ten years after that, but it does not now. It still surprises me to this day.

 

I was curious if anyone has experienced shunning, either by a friend or relative? Are you still friends/friendly with those who shunned you?

 

Please, no bashing of any religion/denomination. I really enjoy civil discussions.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I was shunned at a previous church for a parenting decision that some of the leaders did not agree with. I was shunned by the leaders and their wives. I'm a bit weird. I took great joy in going up to them and saying loudly "___________, it's great to see you!" and watching their discomfort. After a year, I made another parenting decision (which had absolutely nothing to do with them) and I was suddenly kosher again. I sort of missed them not talking to me;) We weren't friends to begin with so it did not affect a friendship. I certainly did not seek one out with them, though.

[shalom22]

We experienced the same treatment when we left a congregation. It was a very small group with very strict doctrines. The group was like a family, but when we started going in a different direction, the family shunned us. It was very painful, especially for the kids. We do see/speak to one family, but only very limited.

 

Those relationships will never be the same or even close. Very sad.

[Myeightkiddies]

After a year, I made another parenting decision (which had absolutely nothing to do with them) and I was suddenly kosher again.

 

That sounds like a rollercoaster ride. You could have had fun with that. Just change your parenting decisions every few months. :) I do admire how you went up to them and just said hello. I would like to be like that.

 

 

Those relationships will never be the same or even close. Very sad.

 

I understand. I forgave my friend, but it was never the same. In order not to get hurt again, I suppose that I never allowed myself to get close to her. It's very sad. :grouphug:

[Nakia]

Yes, at the first church Patrick and I attended after we were married. I consented to teach Sunday School, even though I've always known that wasn't my gifting. I taught for one year, and then I let them know I wouldn't be returning the next year. I was never "allowed" to help with any program again. We left soon after that (for that and MANY other reasons) and were openly shunned by the pastor.

 

Since we left our last church about 2.5 years ago, we have been shunned by the pastor and his wife. This pastor married Patrick and I and performed our baby dedication. We were very close to their family. And, like you, I had a very good friend in that church. She and her children shunned our entire family after we left. There were absolutely no hard feelings on our part about leaving; we truly felt God leading us elsewhere.

 

We joined our current church 2 years ago. I immediately got into children's ministry, which I think happens often when you have little ones of your own. I did that for about a year, and I knew it was time for me to leave that ministry. I was so nervous to speak to the children's minster because of my past experience, but he was so kind and understanding. Some people just aren't meant to work in certain ministries, and we are all thankful that I'm serving elsewhere now.

 

It happens, and it stinks! Sorry you've had to go through this. :grouphug:

Edited January 7, 2012 by Nakia

[Myeightkiddies]

This pastor married Patrick and I and performed our baby dedication. We were very close to their family. And, like you, I had a very good friend in that church. She and her children shunned our entire family after we left.

 

It happens, and it stinks! Sorry you've had to go through this. :grouphug:

 

:grouphug: Thank you for sharing this. I'm so sorry that it happened to you. It's so hard to understand why, especially in your situation. I'm glad that your current church handled things differently.

[ThisIsTheDay]

I was curious if anyone has experienced shunning, either by a friend or relative? Are you still friends/friendly with those who shunned you?

 

Please, no bashing of any religion/denomination. I really enjoy civil discussions.

 

Yes, although no one ever came out and said it. We left a church two years ago, and we were essentially shunned. We had been very active participants, involved in ministry, attending 2-3 times a week, part of the "in" crowd of the more involved.

 

Due to some issues, dh and I were led by the Spirit to leave. We left very quietly, only saying when directly asked that we were "led to leave." There are very few people who still speak to us, in fact, they stand out because they are still nice.

 

That part of it is not a big deal. It's a symptom of the culture that caused us to leave. We have bonded with a few other families who left at earlier times and have also not found a new church home.

 

I long to be a part of a church in that same way again. We've never had, before or since, a church that felt so much like home and family, where I couldn't wait to go. That's the part that hurts. For now, it's clearly not God's plan for my family.

[kalanamak]

 

I was curious if anyone has experienced shunning, either by a friend or relative? Are you still friends/friendly with those who shunned you?

 

 

I find this piteously adolescent and, no, I don't trust them again. If they did it at 17 and were a different person at 25, I might consider it. Life is too short for such monkey business. I am polite but NEVER get sucked into being personable with them again. The few times I did when I was much younger, they all burned again.

 

At work there are "moody" people. Some are truly mentally ill. I try to be low key with them. Then there are the selfish people who think everyone should put up with their bad moods, snide remarks, cold shoulders, and then, when they feel "better" they are all jolly and fun again. A couple of those and I remain ultra-professional, but never joke and accept their "fun" again, because, over and over, they have those bad moods where they pick on someone one. Even if that someone is not me, I approve of this. I especially mistrust those who "kiss up and p*ss down", even when I'm the kissee.

[Jean in Newcastle]

That sounds like a rollercoaster ride. You could have had fun with that. Just change your parenting decisions every few months. :) I do admire how you went up to them and just said hello. I would like to be like that.

 

 

It helped that I didn't really like them to begin with.;) If they were friends who had shunned me, like what happened to so many of you, I would have been extremely hurt. The whole "saying hi" thing was rather passive aggressive of me but it tickled my funny bone a bit and during that time I needed something to tickle my funny bone.

 

BTW, when other people left the church, these same people would shun them and tried to influence us as well as others to do the same. We ignored them and did not shun anyone. Many of the people who had left before us are still very good friends.

[Myeightkiddies]

I especially mistrust those who "kiss up and p*ss down", even when I'm the kissee.

 

Definitely don't trust them. I dislike that behavior. Once they think that you do trust them, they will turn on you as well. I'm not sure why people, especially in a business situation, are like that.

 

I long to be a part of a church in that same way again. We've never had, before or since, a church that felt so much like home and family, where I couldn't wait to go. That's the part that hurts. For now, it's clearly not God's plan for my family.

 

We've attended church since. However, we have never felt at home. It very well could be our fault for that, mine in particular. I'm probably too guarded. Though, I never had what you described. Maybe one day it will be in His plan for you all. I hope so.

 

I know the Amish shun in hopes that the person will repent and return, at which time they will be accepted and all will be well. It's not right but it is their culture and everyone knows that. In these cases, it isn't part of their culture. To me they are just mean. They don't shun because they hope you'll repent, especially when you did nothing but leave or quit working in a children's ministry, and return. They do it because they look down on the person. It's a real shame.

 

BTW, when other people left the church, these same people would shun them and tried to influence us as well as others to do the same. We ignored them and did not shun anyone. Many of the people who had left before us are still very good friends.

 

I'm glad you had fun with it and ignored them when they wanted you to shun. You certainly have a much more level head than they do.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

I'm glad you had fun with it and ignored them when they wanted you to shun. You certainly have a much more level head than they do.

 

You know what, I pray for these people. That God will show them their own error in His time. I know how stunted their own growth is by the attitudes that they hold. At the time, I had to really work through my own anger so that I wouldn't go down a road of bitterness. It would have been an equally stunting decision on my part. It wasn't easy but God brought me through to the other side. (Just so you know that while I was able to laugh at it, it wasn't easy either.)

 

I am sad that there were a lot of casualties that I know from that church. Most however have found wonderful new church families where they've learned to love again. Interestingly though many have them have told me that their deepest and closest friends though are people who went through that experience with them. We learned who we could trust, you know?

[Hen]

yes, we left, quietly a well-thought of, kind of Ca cool church group that our family and friends belong to. The church my dh was drawn to had some things said about it in the past, some stuff on the internet...his best friend since high school-best man at our wedding, argued with dh about our choice and then shunned us. They went from being closer than brothers to nothing. My dh was brokenhearted and also miffed that his friend has so little regard for dh's choices or soundness of mind, I guess. This friend would visit my dh's father ever once in a while and stir things up, and then my f-i-l would not talk to us for a few weeks, as in we are in his house and talking to him and we get stern stare. It was horrible.

 

I found it sad that adults can't accept differences in thought or beliefs or convictions. My dh kind of got the feeling that his best friend was afraid heresy (supposed) was catching, like the flu and he might catch it from us.

Edited January 7, 2012 by Hen Jen
spelling

[Onceuponatime]

I have an Aunt and Uncle who have religiously shunned the rest of the family for 25 years. They kind of tolerated my branch of the family for a while because we went to a church regularly. That didn't last long because we still associated with the rest of the "sinners." They did not even go to my sweet, loving grandmother's funeral. That was beyond my comprehension.

[Lisbeth]

I am an Aspie. I wonder if I'd even notice?:001_huh:

[chickenpatty]

Yes, that has happened to us, but I don't think the people who remained at the church would call it shunning. It was/is very painful, because we had been really close the these people, and leaving meant we were basically alone and starting over in terms of finding new friends and building relationships.

 

I think the people who "shunned" us did so out of fear that the church authority wouldn't approve and would think that they might leave, too. There was a lot of loyalty to the leadership, but eventually many other people left, too. We are in contact with some of the people who left, but we're not close at all.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I know the Amish shun in hopes that the person will repent and return, at which time they will be accepted and all will be well.

 

I think this is the difference. With the Amish (and a few other religions, including my own), it is clear as day what will result in this action, why it is done, the scriptures association, and how to return. It isn't a surprised to anyone. It isn't a moody-ness. It is protocol for a specific reason. That is not what is being described in this thread. I can't even imagine the above. That is in a whole 'nother realm.

[elegantlion]

Yes, we attended one church for a year. We were fairly new to the area and had made a friend. She had even discussed her time away from the church with me. We decided to leave because the church wasn't a good fit for us, (pause, insert long story).

 

Shortly after that she quit taking my calls. She briefly was my facebook friend after that, but unfriended me there after a few months. She even returned a couple of books I had given her. She put them in my mailbox, wouldn't even come to the door.

 

It was a really low point in my life because I was already having other acceptance issues.

[DawnM]

Interesting. I have never really been in a situation where I have been shunned, but there was a situation in our mission where a woman was caught in a pretty serious lie. She was asked to leave the mission, but she stayed in the country. Many shunned her. Our family did not.

 

There is a person I can think of that I have cut off from my life. I don't know that I have shunned him, but long story short, he went to school with me in Africa. He was moving to CA and told me he was coming, so I casually said, "Oh, give me a call, we can do dinner."

 

Well, he and his wife showed up at my doorstep, suitcases in hand, and said they had no money and nowhere to go and could they stay with us! :confused:

 

They stayed for 7 nights after we offered two. We thought we were going to have to get the police involved. It was VERY stressful and we realized very quickly that he had severe mental issues.

 

I finally drove them and their stuff to a homeless shelter and dropped them off! It was horrible. He was furious at me, she was a cowering wallflower and crying.

 

There is far more to the story but I have shunned him I guess you would say. I have refused his friendship on FB after he asked me 4 times, and I don't respond to any of his emails, etc....

 

Dawn

[TravelingChris]

I haven't ever been part of a church that did shunning. How unpleasant! :grouphug:

[Cassy]

I was shunned by people a few years ago after moving my DC from one local school to another. I took Jean's approach, and every morning when I dropped the kids off, and every afternoon when I picked them up, I would smile brightly and say "Hi!", even though I knew these people would look right through with me, stony faced. Sometimes I just found it amusing, but more often than not I felt my entire being sink into feelings of depression and unworthiness that would take a couple of hours of hard work on my part to shake. Some of these people eventually found that they had to speak to me, and I was gracious and pleasant. I never, ever forgave them though, or trusted them.

 

Best wishes

 

Cassy

[Cassy]

There is a person I can think of that I have cut off from my life. I don't know that I have shunned him, but long story short, he went to school with me in Africa. He was moving to CA and told me he was coming, so I casually said, "Oh, give me a call, we can do dinner."

 

Well, he and his wife showed up at my doorstep, suitcases in hand, and said they had no money and nowhere to go and could they stay with us! :confused:

 

They stayed for 7 nights after we offered two. We thought we were going to have to get the police involved. It was VERY stressful and we realized very quickly that he had severe mental issues.

 

I finally drove them and their stuff to a homeless shelter and dropped them off! It was horrible. He was furious at me, she was a cowering wallflower and crying.

 

There is far more to the story but I have shunned him I guess you would say. I have refused his friendship on FB after he asked me 4 times, and I don't respond to any of his emails, etc....

 

Dawn

 

:grouphug: I don't think I'd really call that shunning someone. That sounds like the most horrible situation :sad:. I would have been furious and distraught.

 

Best wishes

 

Cassy

[MamaSheep]

I don't know if I'd call it "shunning", but there was certainly some tension when dh told his family he was going to be marrying me. They hadn't been happy about his joining our church, but I guess they had figured it was a phase and didn't put up much of a fuss. But marrying me evidently made it seem more real and permanent. His parents said they'd have nothing to do with the wedding and would not acknowledge our marriage. His extended family also expressed horror. He married me anyway. At the last minute his parents relented enough to say that if the reception were closer they'd attend (we were holding the festivities closer to my family, since his family had all decided to boycott). So we threw together a second reception in the town where he and I were living so our friends there could come, and because it would be close enough they might come too. His parents and his brother and his wife attended and were polite. Shortly after the wedding his grandmothers both disowned us. Well....one of them disowned us. I guess we were already out of the other one's will because she'd disowned dh's dad, but it was evidently made clear to dh that if he WERE in the will we'd be out now. I hadn't met most of his extended family anyway, and he'd never been close with them, so honestly it probably didn't have the dramatic impact they were going for. We kind of went "oh...um...ok" and got on with life. His parents were pretty cold and distant for a couple of years, and would not come visit us, even when they were already in town, but they did allow us to visit them a few times, during which they were VERY POLITE and not particularly welcoming. After a while, though, I guess they got tired of not seeing their only grandchild very often and decided to be friends. A few years later my MIL apologized and said they'd been told some things about our church that were clearly not true, and she felt bad for not being kinder all along. By the time she passed away this past fall she and I were pretty good friends in spite of the rocky start. His dad...well, he's a little harder to get close to. Honestly, I've come to the conclusion over the years that he's probably autistic--although that might be a case of "when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail". His grandmothers never relented, but after they passed away we decided that disowning us was probably the nicest thing they could have done for us, because we didn't have to be involved in all the family drama that ensued over the wills. These days he's at least on e-mailing terms with his aunts, and has visited them a few times on his own when he was in town for other business. I stay quiet and out of it because I seem to be the "problem" they have and I don't want to upset the boat.

 

ETA: Oh, and there was a neighbor lady once who was very friendly when we moved into the cul-de-sac, came over to chat when she saw me out weeding the flowerbeds and whatnot--until she found out where we went to church, after which she never spoke to me again. Not a huge big deal.

Edited January 7, 2012 by MamaSheep

[Parrothead]

Not because we left a church, but I have because we go to the wrong kind of church.

[NicAnn]

I suppose I have done the shunning. There are a few family members that i just cannot allow back into my life. I am a forgiving person, but I dont tolerate adults repeatedly making terrible decisions that impact my life.

[mommaduck]

Yep! Absolutely have been there! I went to a church where the sister of a friend attended. Sister asked me why I left. I simply stated that I didn't want to get into other than that we disagreed with how things were being handled by the board. Since we were the ones in disagreement, we left (along with many others). Got a call from that former "friend" and got bomblasted on how I was gossiping about her church, making her church look bad, accusing the church of being cultish (others had accused it of this; we had not), etc. Lost other friends there as well. Guess they weren't really friends, right?

[mommaduck]

I suppose I have done the shunning. There are a few family members that i just cannot allow back into my life. I am a forgiving person, but I dont tolerate adults repeatedly making terrible decisions that impact my life.

That would be different than shunning someone simply because they left a church.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think this is the difference. With the Amish (and a few other religions, including my own), it is clear as day what will result in this action, why it is done, the scriptures association, and how to return. It isn't a surprised to anyone. It isn't a moody-ness. It is protocol for a specific reason. That is not what is being described in this thread. I can't even imagine the above. That is in a whole 'nother realm.

 

Well, technically in my situation, they were doing it with the goal of hoping for "repentance". The problem in my mind though was that we had nothing to repent of. When we were first approached and told that they disapproved of our decision with our daughter, my dh and I spent time praying about it and consulting some wise counsel as to our decision. We came to the conclusion that whether the approach would work or not, it was definitely not sin to try. In fact, even 20/20 hindsight has shown us that not only was it not sin, but it was a helpful approach for us to take with our daughter. That was why when we stopped the approach simply because it had worked and we didn't need it any more, their pronouncement that we had now "repented" and were acceptable was ridiculous to me!

 

One of the main problems at this church was that instead of guarding the church from false doctrine (which Scripture does support), they decided that they needed to guard it from all sin. At one point, I pointed out to one of our accusers that no where in Scripture does it say that they were supposed to take the place of the Holy Spirit in our lives. He had no answer to that except to turn and walk away. (And then of course, if you are guarding the church from sin, you'd better be darn sure that what you are pointing out actually is sin, instead of just a different way of applying God's word to someone's life than you might use in your own.)

Edited January 7, 2012 by Jean in Newcastle

[Myeightkiddies]

I think this is the difference. With the Amish (and a few other religions, including my own), it is clear as day what will result in this action, why it is done, the scriptures association, and how to return. It isn't a surprised to anyone. It isn't a moody-ness. It is protocol for a specific reason. That is not what is being described in this thread. I can't even imagine the above. That is in a whole 'nother realm.

 

You are right. There is a difference. In some churches, such as yours, people understand from the beginning if X is done Y will happen, out of love and in hopes that they will repent and return or correct the behavior. If I joined a church that did that, I would know what to expect, and if I didn't like it, I wouldn't join. In these other cases, it is just, hateful, perhaps. I don't know. There is a lack of love. It is so not Christ-like. It's just pure revenge, I suppose.

 

 

There is far more to the story but I have shunned him I guess you would say. I have refused his friendship on FB after he asked me 4 times, and I don't respond to any of his emails, etc....

 

 

That's not shunning. You removed a bad situation that was hurting or would possibly hurt your family more. I am sure you did the right thing. Sometimes things just feel wrong and you have to act, which you did. I'm thankful that nothing horrible happened.

 

I never, ever forgave them though, or trusted them.

 

 

Even though, like Jean, you didn't give them the satisfaction of knowing it bothered you, it still did. It is still painful to endure and certainly does affect your level of trust, not just to them but to others.

 

I suppose I have done the shunning. There are a few family members that i just cannot allow back into my life. I am a forgiving person, but I dont tolerate adults repeatedly making terrible decisions that impact my life.

 

I think that is removing someone toxic from your life. It is wise to remove toxic people if there is no other alternative. You have to protect yourself and your family.

[Crimson Wife]

Not because we left a church, but I have because we go to the wrong kind of church.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Fortunately it hasn't been anybody aside from acquaintances in my case but I know folks who converted to my denomination who got shunned by their relatives as a result :(

[Myeightkiddies]

 

I found it sad that adults can't accept differences in thought or beliefs or convictions. My dh kind of got the feeling that his best friend was afraid heresy (supposed) was catching, like the flu and he might catch it from us.

 

I'm so sorry. :grouphug: You described it well. I think maybe people in churches do this, especially leadership, as a warning sign. They don't want others to follow. Instead of fixing what may be the problem in the first place, they like to point fingers and punish those who leave. It isn't done so much out of love or in hopes they will return, as some churches practice, but to keep others from leaving.

 

I have an Aunt and Uncle who have religiously shunned the rest of the family for 25 years. They kind of tolerated my branch of the family for a while because we went to a church regularly. That didn't last long because we still associated with the rest of the "sinners." They did not even go to my sweet, loving grandmother's funeral. That was beyond my comprehension.

 

:grouphug: That's horrible. Not going to her funeral is something that they will have to live with, and at least you all were able to go and remember her and give your respects without their drama.

 

I am an Aspie. I wonder if I'd even notice?:001_huh:

 

Well, hopefully no one has done that to you, even if you hadn't noticed.

 

I think the people who "shunned" us did so out of fear that the church authority wouldn't approve and would think that they might leave, too. There was a lot of loyalty to the leadership, but eventually many other people left, too. We are in contact with some of the people who left, but we're not close at all.

 

Have you found a new home since then? I hope so. I think you are right about the fear of others leaving. They should focus on how to fix what the issue is instead of tormenting those who move on elsewhere. :grouphug:

 

 

Shortly after that she quit taking my calls. She briefly was my facebook friend after that, but unfriended me there after a few months. She even returned a couple of books I had given her. She put them in my mailbox, wouldn't even come to the door.

 

It was a really low point in my life because I was already having other acceptance issues.

 

:grouphug: I'm so sorry. That's pretty low, not even handing you the books. I hope that you realize this is her issue and not yours. If she is so petty and hateful, you are better of not being accepted by her. I know that it hurt, even knowing you did nothing wrong.

 

His grandmothers never relented, but after they passed away we decided that disowning us was probably the nicest thing they could have done for us, because we didn't have to be involved in all the family drama that ensued over the wills. These days he's at least on e-mailing terms with his aunts, and has visited them a few times on his own when he was in town for other business. I stay quiet and out of it because I seem to be the "problem" they have and I don't want to upset the boat.

 

ETA: Oh, and there was a neighbor lady once who was very friendly when we moved into the cul-de-sac, came over to chat when she saw me out weeding the flowerbeds and whatnot--until she found out where we went to church, after which she never spoke to me again. Not a huge big deal.

 

I do hope more family members come around and are friendly toward you dh and family. There are so many people who put up with toxic family members or do things they don't want out of fear of being disowned, out of a will or other. I'm glad that you and your dh were strong enough to live your life. You are right. Will drama is horrible. At least you didn't endure that. I'm still really sorry that DH's family was so harsh. As far as that neighbor is concerned, I'm sure you are better off anyway. I do have a neighbor rule, from experience. I'm always friendly to, wave, nod, help if needed, etc., neighbors, but I never let myself become friends with them. If drama happens, it is just too hard to deal with short of moving.

 

:grouphug:

 

Not because we left a church, but I have because we go to the wrong kind of church.

 

Was this from friends or family or did it include others in the community? That must be a challenge to endure. It's still hurtful I am sure, even if it does make you stronger, eventually. :grouphug:

 

Lost other friends there as well. Guess they weren't really friends, right?

 

I guess they weren't really friends. It seems as if your friend just didn't want to accept the truth or was in denial. I'm not sure but that was strange behavior to accuse you of gossiping. She may have wanted to accuse you of wrong doing rather than recognize something happening in the church. :grouphug:

 

 

One of the main problems at this church was that instead of guarding the church from false doctrine (which Scripture does support), they decided that they needed to guard it from all sin. At one point, I pointed out to one of our accusers that no where in Scripture does it say that they were supposed to take the place of the Holy Spirit in our lives. He had no answer to that except to turn and walk away. (And then of course, if you are guarding the church from sin, you'd better be darn sure that what you are pointing out actually is sin, instead of just a different way of applying God's word to someone's life than you might use in your own.)

 

He walked away? I still think you are a very strong person. You are right. One cannot protect or guard a church from sin, from within or out, unless one truly knows what sin is. Just because one doesn't agree with something, personally, doesn't make it sin. I think that happens frequently.

 

There was an impromptu meeting one time at the church in which I was shunned. It had to do with something that really wasn't urgent or important. I can't recall what but it had little to do with me. For some reason they expected a larger attendance to the meeting than there was. This one, sort of in leadership, man decided he would interrogate everyone who didn't attend. When he got to me I said that I didn't because I needed to go to the store (had to get groceries and the baby was out of diapers). He yelled, "You went shopping?!" I cringed and tried to explain that I needed to go shopping but even so the meeting didn't particularly pertain to me. Well, I was embarrassed and hurt. It was as if I committed some horrible sin. Some of the men who didn't attend weren't treated harshly at all. My dh was not there so I was often an easy target for various things.

[Ellesmere]

e

[ThisIsTheDay]

One of the main problems at this church was that instead of guarding the church from false doctrine (which Scripture does support), they decided that they needed to guard it from all sin.

 

:confused::confused::confused:

 

Must be an empty church . . .

 

:glare:

[J-rap]

I have probably been shunned at some point in my life, but just didn't notice it! (or believe it could be true!) We did make a decision to leave our church when our oldest was in the middle of confirmation (about 8th or 9th grade). It was a sweet church just two blocks from our house, but had absolutely no youth group or youth activities. We left for the church that was THREE blocks away, whose congregation was much, much smaller but the youth group was giant and very active. Our old church was so understanding; they continue to keep my husband's name in their bulletin and pray for him every Sunday. We are very fortunate.

 

Shunning is so immature to me; I really don't have the time of day for people who do that. I think it usually represents problems deep within that person (the shunner).

[Heather in Neverland]

Shunning is unbiblical, ungodly, and awful. Those who do this to others need to repent.