melissel Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 For example, if someone else is hosting the dinner--close family, say, and within a reasonable driving distance--and you're the guests, how long do you typically stay and hang out, eat, etc.? Would 8 hours be normal? Excessive? The tip of the iceberg? Just trying to figure out whether someone's expectations are reasonable or they are unnecessarily huffy :tongue_smilie: ETA: To clarify, I'm thinking of YOUR comfort level, as the guest. At what point do you feel like you want to go back to your own home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily_Grace Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Well, this year we spent 4-5 hours, and then the party followed us back to our home because the baby needed to go to sleep. :D Depending on the closeness of the gathering, 8 hours would not be excessive in our circle. The party would just be winding down at that point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 (edited) 6-8 hours, depending on how long the meal takes and whether we've got something fun to do together. Then I'm ready to be in my own space. Today, my family started arriving around noon and everyone left around 8 or so. ETA: As the host, I'd have been happy for them to stay longer. But we've still got some younger kids to get home for bed. Staying past bedtime usually results in overtired kids. Cat Edited November 25, 2011 by myfunnybunch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 4 - 5 hours for us. But guests were at my SIL's house since yesterday and that was perfectly acceptable too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 We hosted two local guests for dinner tonight. They arrived, as requested, at 4:45. They departed at 10:00 after dinner, a round of Wise and Otherwise, dessert, a second round of Wise and Otherwise, and conversation. A good time was had by all. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 My family arrived around 4:00 - my parents, my sister, bil, and their grown kids. Everyone was gone by 8:30. This is pretty typical for our family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 We got here on Tuesday and plan to leave on Saturday. Christmas plans will be about the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 We had an early afternoon meal with family. Chatting was followed by a leisurely meal than a beach walk. We were with with our hosts for about four hours. That said, I know my sister spent eight hours or so at her daughter's home. The meal there was preceded by a football game. There are some sports nuts in that group who make Thanksgiving dinner a full day event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tranquility7 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 This year we were at my cousin's house - she'd invited about 25 people total, with about 8 of those being children under 10. We came at 11am, ate around 1, and left about 8pm. About half the people there left when we did, but I think those remaining stayed a good bit longer, since someone had just turned on a football game, and I am sure the party continued until that was over. That being said, DH and I both get worn out and wouldn't mind a shorter day. But we also don't see all these folks that much (people were in from different states) and so we want to make the most of it when we get together. It was really a fun day, even though we were exhausted by the end. When we have a smaller group at our house, with just my parents and in-laws (who all live in our town), it is usually a 4-6 hour gathering. Having more people (and especially more children) there makes the day more fun for everyone, and therefore last longer (like it did at my cousin's). So I'm curious - what are the expectations of the huffy person? We are visiting from out of town (2 hrs away) but we stayed in a hotel Wed and Thurs nights, so we are freer with our time. Although I think if we had driven back and forth on Thanksgiving day, we still would have felt like we should stay at least 8 hrs or so. Mainly because my cousin went to SO much work to bring everyone together, and when people start to leave a party, sometimes that causes the collapse of the party as others then start to leave also, you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 This year we went to a new friend's house (known them about a month). We were there for about 11 hours. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ciyates Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Wow we must dine and dash! We arrived at 12:30 and left by 2:30. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 We're usually there around 11 am and leave around 6-7 pm. Our Thanksgivings have been with extended family and sometimes that's the only time we're all together during a year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BamaTanya Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 It really depends on the relationship for us. When my mom was alive, we'd spend all day. She'd rock the babies to sleep or go lie down with them in the back bedroom to get them settled, and then we'd have tea or walk around the garden. All day. Yesterday we visited my dad and his new wife. 1.5 - 2 hours, I think. Their house isn't kid-friendly, and I want to get my dc out of the way before they get loud and rowdy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 We went to a close friend's house. We were there about 5 hours. It felt about right, but she and I are both introverts so I think we were both needing a little quiet alone time by then. With family who lives in the area it's often shorter, but we see them very often. We had "Thanksgiving" early in November with family and it was about 2 hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 When Grandma hosted, guests started arriving around 11 and left around 9. For a non-family gathering, about 4 hours would probably be my max. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 As a guest, it would really depend on where I was, and who was there. Kids mean that we'd need to leave at the latest by 9. (And that's pushing it). I think an average of six hours, assuming all is going well is probably about usual for my family. If things aren't going well, an escape is sought within 90 minutes of finishing the meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 We arrived at FIL's house at noon and left around 1:30. When the kids are older and don't require a nap after lunch, we can stay longer. We used to stay until dinner time and play board games after all the extended family left. If we are at extended family homes, DH tries to get out as quick as possible. We were also kidnapping my 16yo BIL to help with yardwork and getting Christmas lights on the house, and they wanted to get started on that while the weather was still nice (65 degrees here!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 We got to my sil at 1 & left at 5. She lives 2 hrs away from us, so not sure if we would've stayed longer if we lived closer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 We had Thanksgiving had a friends' house. (Just our 2 families) We got there at 2:30 and left around 6:30. We ate dinner, the kids played outside, we all watched part of the new Cars movie, and then we had dessert. We helped clean up and headed for home. It was a great day!! Any longer would have been too long... (so 4 hours is my vote!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 Thank you all, I really appreciate the perspective! So I'm curious - what are the expectations of the huffy person? We are visiting from out of town (2 hrs away) but we stayed in a hotel Wed and Thurs nights, so we are freer with our time. Although I think if we had driven back and forth on Thanksgiving day, we still would have felt like we should stay at least 8 hrs or so. Mainly because my cousin went to SO much work to bring everyone together, and when people start to leave a party, sometimes that causes the collapse of the party as others then start to leave also, you know? Well, I am the huffy person, and I came from a family that's more like "4 hours and OUT!" if you know what I mean. After thinking about it more, though, I think I'm huffy because I asked several times if we could leave a little bit earlier than we might normally because DD6 had forgotten her wooby blanket (for the first time ever), and a long, late drive home without it might be very difficult for all of us AND because I offered to drive home so DH could drink and didn't want to be driving a route that makes me very nervous anyway when I was tired and not focusing very well, and I appear to have been brushed off repeatedly :glare: We left the house at 1:30-ish and got home at 11:30. It was an 8-hour visit, and I was not particularly comfortable with driving that late :( I've been wondering about this for a long time though, because of the disparity in how long our families tend to visit in general. I'll give more grace (and maybe take separate cars!) in the future :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 We stayed two hours before dinner, two hours after dinner and before pie, and one hour after pie. A football game on their television had just ended. It felt like time to go home then. We were actually there for six-and-a-half hours. And did four hours round trip driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I am an introvert...4 hrs is usually my max. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Thank you all, I really appreciate the perspective! Well, I am the huffy person, and I came from a family that's more like "4 hours and OUT!" if you know what I mean. After thinking about it more, though, I think I'm huffy because I asked several times if we could leave a little bit earlier than we might normally because DD6 had forgotten her wooby blanket (for the first time ever), and a long, late drive home without it might be very difficult for all of us AND because I offered to drive home so DH could drink and didn't want to be driving a route that makes me very nervous anyway when I was tired and not focusing very well, and I appear to have been brushed off repeatedly :glare: We left the house at 1:30-ish and got home at 11:30. It was an 8-hour visit, and I was not particularly comfortable with driving that late :( I've been wondering about this for a long time though, because of the disparity in how long our families tend to visit in general. I'll give more grace (and maybe take separate cars!) in the future :001_smile: FWIW - 8 Hours is a long visit anywhere and I would have been 'huffy' too. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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