The --I wants-- :(

[Night Elf]

I have a serious case of the --I wants-- and I can't shake them off. I'm trying to make them go away. I don't want to ignore them because they will linger. What do you do when you're feeling like this?

 

I've heard to count my blessings. I AM indeed blessed, I know, but it's not enough to stop feeling like this.

 

Okay, just a self pity party, and now I'm going to go clean something.

[Ewe Mama]

What do you want? Maybe Hive members who have some of the things you want can tell you they really aren't that great and that you would be better off without them.

 

When I would like to buy something that will take up counter space in the kitchen, I make a list of questions: where will it be stored, how often will I use it initially, how much will it actually be used when I find out it's not as great as I thought it would be, how much time/trouble will it be to clean it or take care of it, etc. After I honestly answer these questions, I can usually talk myself out of it.

 

I also make myself wait at least three weeks before purchasing something new that I want. Usually by then I've forgotten about it, or my list of I wants has grown, so I'm still answering the questions about the newer "wants" and get sidetracked. I'm not a multi-tasker, so out of sight-out-of-mind works very well for me!

[elegantlion]

I get that way sometime. It depends on what the want is. Is it a goal you want, something that timing/finances aren't right?

 

If it's a material object, I rearrange what I already own. I quit getting decorating catalogs for a reason.

 

If it's clothing, same thing, pull together some outfits in the closet.

 

But those can be simple to get over.

 

It's those lingering things that hurt. The ones where you realize that the season of your life for that to happen may have passed.

 

I guess it depends on what it is. Material things I get over pretty easily. Thos others things, I'm still working on.

[Cinder]

I remember a few years ago having the "I wants" for a dvd recorder. I wanted it sooooo much dh got me one for my birthday. As he was installing it, I became rather horrified that I had wanted it. It seemed so . . . useless . . . extravagant . . . I don't know. I didn't even watch that much tv to want to record stuff. So I asked him to take it back. And I have not had any longing for one since.

 

That was the last time I wanted something so badly that I Had To Have It. Other times, particularly if it was something I wanted that was outside our budget and not a need, I just had to let the longing die away.

 

ETA: When I first responded I was thinking of wanting things. But right now I *want* to sell this house and move away. It's just not a reasonable proposition at this time (our house would probably sell for half what we paid), so I'm trying to be content with what I have now. Like you, I try to count my blessings. It's still hard.

Edited November 14, 2011 by Cinder

[Mynyel]

Yea me too :)

 

I want a clean house.

I want a slightly bigger house or a garage, a garage would be good.

I want a better dishwasher.

I want to lose 50 pounds.

I want to live less than 30 minutes from the mountains.

I want to quit working.

I want snow by Christmas.

I want to visit my family in California.

 

*sigh* There is more but you get the point!

 

:) So what do you want really?

[Momma2Many66]

When I get the "I wants" I ask myself If I really will use the item and is it obtainable for me on my strict budget ?

 

If it is obtainable, I make a plan to create the funds to purchase the object.

 

If it is not obtainable on our budget such as a large boat, new exspensive vehicle or a huge house I just remind myself that we live a more simpler lifestyle than those who can afford those exspensive things. I also do more praying on being content with what I have and being happy with what we can afford by living within our means.

 

Recently I wanted a new crockpot which was about $ 70 dollars on Amazon for the one I really desired. Since that $ 70 dollars was not in our budget, I found a way to create the money by selling some items on ebay and using the Amazon buy back program for books and dvds. I ended up making more than enough to pay for that crockpot as well as picking up a few extra Christmas gifts for my children.

 

So instead of beating yourself up over wanting things, see if it is something you can obtain through bringing in some extra income or if it is not obtainable, teaching yourself to be content within your own means.

 

I teach my children the same thing, If they want nice things they must work for them. If they are things totally beyond our reach (income level), they must learn to be content in what they have now and get a good eductation so they can achieve those things in their future should they so desire.

[Lady Florida.]

I don't think the "I wants" are bad, as long as you don't let them ruin the "I haves". There are a lot of things I want, both material and otherwise. Some I will eventually have, others will probably never become a reality. I still want them, and I enjoy wishing for them. The ones that are realistic give me a chance to set goals. The unrealistic ones allow me to dream.

 

:grouphug: Don't kick yourself for wanting things. Just don't let what you don't have rule you.

[Ferdie]

I keep a wish list of my "I wants" that I pray over. I am stunned at how many things God provides. Also when I look back over the list, I am amazed that some of the items on the list are no longer important to me.

[Remudamom]

I hear you. Right now I want some new furniture, new carpet in my bedroom and a new tv. I want to completely re-do the houses on the ranch and furnish them.

 

Hopefully we'll get the new furniture and tv for Christmas.

 

I need to get a handle on myself.

[Night Elf]

Ooh, some of you have pegged it. Most of my wants are things I simply cannot have no matter how much I want them. I go in waves of feeling passionate and not thinking about it.

 

Some of the big things are wanting another baby (absolutely impossible), children young enough for fun homeschooling again (high school sucks really), a new house with more space so we aren't sitting on top of each other, a big family Christmas (but I have family who doesn't want to host anything and they don't want to drive the 90 minutes to my house), new furniture for living room and dining area, a desk in a private place (there is literally no space for a desk), and FOOD! I'm on Weight Watchers and I want a cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake. I want to bake for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh, I get some things in moderation but I don't want to be moderate. :D

 

So most of my wants are really big and unattainable. I think I'm going to start saving for a new dining room table. That seems within my reach. If we have the extra money, perhaps DH won't mind a new one.

 

And I have no idea what I want for Christmas. DH is asking and I feel like singing I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas because I have a better chance of getting that than some of the other things mentioned above. :lol:

[elfgivas]

:grouphug:

 

cleaning sounds like a good idea.

 

doing something for someone else helps me, too..... taking things to the women's shelter for example. there is a bit of the "there but for the grace of God go I", but it helps me remember my blessings better.

 

going outside for a walk helps.... a lot.

 

new placemats/table cloth and/or candles for the dining room table helped me get thru two years of a table that was well past its prime... (think "on a permanent slant and with the veneer flaking off!). it also helped dh realize that it really mattered to me....

 

would going to the library and using a table/desk there all by yourself in the daytime help with that longing?

 

volunteering to read to the little ones once a week at the library?

 

for me, mostly when i am wanting more than one or two things at a time it usually means i'm discontented with some aspect of my life that isn't related to any of the things i want...... is that possible?

 

:grouphug:

ann

[SailorMom]

Been there, done that.

I am not a materialistic person by any means. I also don't usually like "retail therapy", but occasionally it hits.

I actually bought myself a new $365 sewing machine (I was sewing on a 1945 Pfaff that was so frustrating). I love it but still feel guilty.

The I-wants seem to come in waves for me. Some of it is justifiable and I'm simply finally getting something I actually do need (at least I can justify it in a reasonable way), but other times, not so much!

Try to find something less than $20 that you think will help. Something extravagent but simple.

[justamouse]

Ooh, some of you have pegged it. Most of my wants are things I simply cannot have no matter how much I want them. I go in waves of feeling passionate and not thinking about it.

 

Some of the big things are wanting another baby (absolutely impossible), children young enough for fun homeschooling again (high school sucks really), a new house with more space so we aren't sitting on top of each other, a big family Christmas (but I have family who doesn't want to host anything and they don't want to drive the 90 minutes to my house), new furniture for living room and dining area, a desk in a private place (there is literally no space for a desk), and FOOD! I'm on Weight Watchers and I want a cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake. I want to bake for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh, I get some things in moderation but I don't want to be moderate. :D

 

So most of my wants are really big and unattainable. I think I'm going to start saving for a new dining room table. That seems within my reach. If we have the extra money, perhaps DH won't mind a new one.

 

And I have no idea what I want for Christmas. DH is asking and I feel like singing I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas because I have a better chance of getting that than some of the other things mentioned above. :lol:

I kind of feel bad saying this (kinda like I'm enabling your wants), BUT :D

 

If you don't mind buying used furniture in excellent condition, I see gorgeous stuff passed over at out local auction All The Time. I mean stuff that goes as low as 10 bucks. All the time.

 

So, check out auctionzip.com and see what's around you and listed. Most auction houses have websites with pictures.

[Night Elf]

Tablecloth for the table... I've never thought of that. That would even bring in more color to the rooms.

 

Library... I've never thought of that either. When I do go, it's rush in and out. I've also thought about going to Starbucks during an off time since they have wifi, but I'm afraid I'll drink too much of the dessert coffee I like which wouldn't fit in my diet. :D

 

I've never heard of auctioning of furniture. I'll look at that website. I refuse to do Craigs List because I hear so many bad things about it. I've donated furniture to Good Will so I was thinking of going there. Most of the time their stuff is way outdated. I don't want any more plaid sofas.

 

Today, however, ds15 and I are going to Gamestop. I'm going to buy a new Wii game. Maybe even 2! Woo! :tongue_smilie:

 

And after dinner, we're going to clear the table and do a 3D puzzle. Well, I'll help a little but it's really ds and DH that do the majority of it. I get a little frustrated with all the pieces looking the same!

[Twilight Woods]

Im going to join you and we can have an a "wants" pity party. I'll bring the wine! :)

[ssexton]

I'm with you! I have been drooling over smart phones and would love for Santa to bring me an iphone this Christmas. DH and I were discussing it last night, and it would add $40-$50 to our monthly bill, and I just can't really justify that.

[Whereneverever]

Honestly, I throw myself into some sort of service for others. I've found that nothing increases my appreciation for my life quite so much as helping others who have less- whether the less is financial or situational.

[Myeightkiddies]

From your list:

 

Another baby: In just a few short years, you'll begin having grandbabies. I understand that it isn't the same and will require that you wait, but they sure are wonderful.

 

Children Young Enough for Fun Homeschooling: I've met several ladies who are homeschooling their grandchildren. Sometimes it was planned to be that way, and other times it just happened.

 

A New House with Space: I'm uncertain if this is a possibility; however, in the meantime go from room-to-room and determine how you can create more space. Declutter, get rid of unused furniture, rearrange what is there, determine if knocking out a wall or expanding is a possibility.

 

Big Family Christmas: With three children it is really unknown as to how many grandchildren that you may have. They don't know either so don't be discouraged if one says that they don't want children or only want one. So many times I've heard that from teens only to see them years later with a handful of children. My point is that one day you could very well have that big family Christmas.

 

New Furniture: If brand new furniture is not in the budget than begin looking for nice used. You are in no hurry, so take your time and you are bound to find some great deals. Check the used sites online or local flyers. Maybe you can buy some wood furniture that needs some work. Check out tutorials online and make it a hobby. Is there a closet that you can declutter? Remove the door and place a desk and shelves inside the closet.

 

and most of all :grouphug:

[Rosie_0801]

How about one of those cute, little ladies lap desks? Didn't the Victorians have them and, I dunno, decoupage them or something? I see them around sometimes, sometimes plain wood, sometimes painted in folk art style.

 

Rosie

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I feel like this is me lately.....hoping it passes again soon.

[Baseball mom]

Oh yes I know this feeling. I have been feeling it alot lately then followed by guilt for wanting stuff I know we can't afford. :blushing:

[Rosie_0801]

Oh yes I know this feeling. I have been feeling it alot lately then followed by guilt for wanting stuff I know we can't afford. :blushing:

 

Ugh. Don't do that. Feel guilty if you *steal* the stuff you can't afford.

 

:tongue_smilie:

Rosie

[sagira]

This can happen to the best of us :grouphug:

 

Get it off your chest and write it out! What do you want?

 

I want:

 

an organized house

a clean house

more money

hired cleaning help

a bigger house

to visit Asheville, NC next fall

visit up and down coastal NC

take a hot air balloon ride up there

stay in a house in Italy for a month

 

One can dream, right?

Edited November 17, 2011 by sagira

[KidsHappen]

I have a hard time spending money so when I want something I add it to the list. If it stays on the list long enough (anywhere from six month to a year depending on finances) then I know I will eventually get it. So it doesn't really stress me out to want something and not be able to get it. Sometimes things come up that have a higher priority and I have to put off my own wants but knowing that if I really want it I will eventually get it really helps. Sometimes it is hard because there is more than one need that can't be met at the same time. For instance, I am in serious need of clothing right now but one of my children is as well so she will probably come first and sometimes that can be frustrating.

[DawnM]

We stopped test driving cars because of this! :D

 

I get this often by the way.

 

What do I do? I research and research and see if there is any possible way to get it for less or even a lot less before seeing if I can save up for it.

 

I have gotten some great deals by waiting and finding things 2nd hand.

[ereks mom]

I keep a wish list of my "I wants" that I pray over. I am stunned at how many things God provides. Also when I look back over the list, I am amazed that some of the items on the list are no longer important to me.

 

:iagree: Same here.

[DawnM]

Do you have a local moms' group? I am on a forum with local moms and they have a Buy/Sell/Trade forum where I get quite a few things.

 

I bought a $3,000 dining room table for $300 from a Mom there. We love it. It can seat up to 10, which is great for company.

 

I have bought from CL. I actually found our living room set there and made a friend in the process. They had a home that cost almost $1M and had it decorated perfectly, strait out of Home and Gardens. Then her DH lost his job and they needed to sell the house and most of the contents. I got a killer deal on the entire living room, including the pictures on the wall!

 

Dawn

 

Tablecloth for the table... I've never thought of that. That would even bring in more color to the rooms.

 

Library... I've never thought of that either. When I do go, it's rush in and out. I've also thought about going to Starbucks during an off time since they have wifi, but I'm afraid I'll drink too much of the dessert coffee I like which wouldn't fit in my diet. :D

 

I've never heard of auctioning of furniture. I'll look at that website. I refuse to do Craigs List because I hear so many bad things about it. I've donated furniture to Good Will so I was thinking of going there. Most of the time their stuff is way outdated. I don't want any more plaid sofas.

 

Today, however, ds15 and I are going to Gamestop. I'm going to buy a new Wii game. Maybe even 2! Woo! :tongue_smilie:

 

And after dinner, we're going to clear the table and do a 3D puzzle. Well, I'll help a little but it's really ds and DH that do the majority of it. I get a little frustrated with all the pieces looking the same!