CalicoKat Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Obviously my dd 12's expectations for her cooking/menu this week aren't being met. The long faces, the pouts, her quiet disappointment. I just don't know what to say to her. She came to me last with with a menu & grocery list for this week. She wanted to plan out the week's meals & cook them. I said OK. Make sure the ingredients are at Aldi since that's where I normally shop. She did a great job. We bought the groceries. Breakfast time so far has been a bust. Everyone usually helps themselves and they're unwilling to wait for her elaborate big breakfasts. So she makes it and no one eats it, or they just have a taste. Do I let her come to the realization that she'll either have to modify her menu or get up earlier and cook it before people get up. Or do do I spell it out? She's been a tad moody.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Poor little thing! Can you help her get up early and make the breakfasts? She sounds so cute and motivated. If this fails, she may become bitter and decide that cooking isn't "her thing" anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Awww. She's going to have to get up a bit earlier, and, I would also make everyone wait because there's a learning curve. They should be polite and encouraging and show their support by waiting, she can fix it a bit earlier so that they aren't so hungry.:001_smile: Is she moody because her feelings are hurt? It's really hard when they get in the kitchen-my oldest was heartbroken the first few times someone didn't like her meal-think epic drama :D. I had to share with her a few of my horrible failures. Now she's a pro and everyone asks her to make stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 If it is understood that she is in charge of cooking breakfast, I would see it as my responsibility as the parent to help her get up early enough, AND to make sure the rest of the family waits and eats what she serves - that is common courtesy. If this is not going to work in your house at all, you need to discuss it with her and suggest that she focuses on a different meal. If I were in charge of a meal I would consider it rude if everybody just got himself some other food and I was cooking in vain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 It seems to me that she is trying to do a wonderful thing and I would encourage her as much as possible. I'd make sure she was fully aware of how proud I was. How late is she serving breakfast? If it's not crazy late, I would require that everyone be polite and wait. It's exceedingly rude not to, IMO. I'd help her get up earlier as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I'd ask her. Ask her what she thinks would work better, and let her come up with possible solutions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingnlearning Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I'd ask her. Ask her what she thinks would work better, and let her come up with possible solutions. This is me too. I'd ask her how it was going... what did she think of the whole deal and take it from there. I'd ask leading questions maybe, steer her with some suggestions but let her make all the decisions. I absolutely love it when my kids do things like this and have struggles that I can guide them through. Life lessons! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 She planned all the meals & snacks for the week. Dinner & lunch are going well. Just the breakfast. I'll ask her for her opinion. Her dream job is to own a bakery. She's very motivated. And she always follows the recipes exactly. I think I must frustrate her because I rarely have a recipe or measuring cups on hand. :D And it's hard for me to share my kitchen. I have learned to "move out" when a new cook is in town so I don't micro manage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingnlearning Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I never measure anything either-and I have an 11 year old daughter that loves to cook. For Christmas last year I got her a set of measuring cups/spoons of her own and she loves them. Hides them from me too so I have to ask on the odd occasion that I want to measure something... :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thia Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 If your family normally just helps themselves to breakfast, I would gently point this out to your dd. Around here, on the weekends, we're more inclined to sit down to a nice breakfast. Maybe she could do that? And make it clear to everyone that on Saturday she is cooking xyz, breakfast will be at _am and no one should eat prior to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 This is me too. I'd ask her how it was going... what did she think of the whole deal and take it from there. I'd ask leading questions maybe, steer her with some suggestions but let her make all the decisions. I absolutely love it when my kids do things like this and have struggles that I can guide them through. Life lessons! I love life lessons, too! Catching those moments were a big reason I wanted to homeschool in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caraway Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Her dream job is to own a bakery. There are lots of things that she could bake the night before. Then everyone could eat when they are ready. Although if she owned a bakery she would likely be getting up at 4 am. So there is that option too. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Maybe she can save the big breakfast plans for the weekend when people may have more time. How about her doing brunch? I understand she wants to do more than that, but that would give her a way to do a breakfast meal and let other people have a snack earlier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingnlearning Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Maybe she could think of a way to "advertise" her breakfast... she could think about what the current situation is (they're busy/tired/not noticing) and ways to get their attention. maybe she could write an advertisement and post it, write up a menu and take orders and times and plan ahead, take note of what they prefer to do for breakfast (to go orders?) and figure out how she could use that to her advantage? again I would totally not just give her this info, if it were my daughter I would be saying things like "I notice that while the other meals are going well, breakfast is a free for all; how do you think you could accomodate that busy time of day in your plan?" or "the other meals are going according to plan; what's different about breakfast and how could you improve it?" ect... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmvaughan4 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 There are lots of things that she could bake the night before. Then everyone could eat when they are ready. Although if she owned a bakery she would likely be getting up at 4 am. So there is that option too. :lol: :iagree: What about baking and freezing foods so the others can get what they want? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 (edited) Why isn't the family on board for this? I don't see what the big deal is about being sensitive to your dd/their sister and just *waiting* so that everyone can eat at once after her hard work to *serve* you all. She probably does need to start a bit earlier, but since it's not permanent or long-term (right? I wasn't sure...) I think everyone can adapt and be kind about it. Edited August 23, 2011 by 6packofun ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 could she not try some make ahead breakfasts? Like casseroles or overnight cinnamon rolls? that way morning prep is simply popping something in the oven, and people will be willing to wait with the odor of cinnamon rolls wafting through the air. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 (edited) Part of learning to serve other people in almost any capacity (but especially with regards to food) is that it has to be convenient for those you're serving. I've had my share of helping kiddos learn to cook/serve. Around here, it would be pretty matter-of-fact. "Hey sweetie, the big breakfast is wonderful, but out of our usual routine. You can either simplify the menu, or start preparing the meal earlier in order to get it on the table at the right time. Do you need help to figure out how to simplify, or do you want me to get you up a bit earlier?" For us, it's about both the fun of cooking, and the service to others. Therefore, long faces, pouting, and moodiness involved with the job would need to be curtailed. I'd probably articulate that pretty clearly. And then one of these :grouphug:, and then we'd move on. Edited August 23, 2011 by Julie in CA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 If it is understood that she is in charge of cooking breakfast, I would see it as my responsibility as the parent to help her get up early enough, AND to make sure the rest of the family waits and eats what she serves - that is common courtesy.If this is not going to work in your house at all, you need to discuss it with her and suggest that she focuses on a different meal. If I were in charge of a meal I would consider it rude if everybody just got himself some other food and I was cooking in vain. Why isn't the family on board for this? I don't see what the big deal is about being sensitive to your dd/their sister and just *waiting* so that everyone can eat at once after her hard work to *serve* you all. She probably does need to start a bit earlier, but since it's not permanent or long-term (right? I wasn't sure...) I think everyone can adapt and be kind about it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Obviously my dd 12's expectations for her cooking/menu this week aren't being met. The long faces, the pouts, her quiet disappointment. I just don't know what to say to her. She came to me last with with a menu & grocery list for this week. She wanted to plan out the week's meals & cook them. I said OK. Make sure the ingredients are at Aldi since that's where I normally shop. She did a great job. We bought the groceries. Breakfast time so far has been a bust. Everyone usually helps themselves and they're unwilling to wait for her elaborate big breakfasts. So she makes it and no one eats it, or they just have a taste. Do I let her come to the realization that she'll either have to modify her menu or get up earlier and cook it before people get up. Or do do I spell it out? She's been a tad moody.... When she has a meal that she's planning, ask her how long it will take to make it. Then ask her when she will need to start cooking in order to have it ready at 7:00 am or whenever your family needs to be eating to start your day. However, for us, new involved breakfasts are something that get practiced on the weekend, when we have a bit more time to wait for it. I might also talk to the other members of the family. If she's getting up early and is busy making breakfast, then it might be polite for them to not make themselves something at the same time. (However, if they are getting up at 6am and her breakfasts aren't ready until 8am, then I think it is dd's timing that needs adjusted.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Oh that is so sweet! My 17-year-old is like that too. She has always loved to cook. Her meals used to be a disaster, but she has gotten quite good! She does most of the cooking now in fact. For breakfasts, she has found there are many things she can cook the night before. She can bake the muffins, cut the fruit, etc., the night before. She can then quickly scramble eggs to go with it the next morning. It took her years to become good and organized though! She sometimes got a lot of good-natured teasing from her family in the process (but a lot of complements too -- that's important!). Keep encouraging your daughter; I think it's great! Talk with the rest of the family and make sure they encourage her too. :) But you can gently help her understand that sometimes the cook needs to work around the majority's schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Add me to the group that thinks the rest of the family should be polite enough to wait until breakfast is served. If it's a real timing problem, in that she doesn't have it ready in time for everyone to get on with whatever else they need to do, then she needs to get up earlier if she wants to make breakfast. But if (as it sounds to me) the issue is one of preference (e.g. brother would rather just grab cereal, or doesn't feel like waiting), then they need to suck it up and eat the breakfast that is being served. If she's making wacky new recipes, I might suggest she limit the full breakfast to a couple days per week, and the rest of the time it can be self-serve. My dad used to make a big breakfast about half the time, and I am trying to imagine what would have happened if I had been rude enough to get up and grab a bowl of cereal instead of waiting for breakfast to be ready. It would not have been pretty, that's for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 I will put the cereal & oatmeal under lock & key tonight. :D They will wait tomorrow for her meal. Lunch was delicious. Bacon burgers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I think that is so awesome of your dd to WANT to do this for the family! and she is 12? I am very impressed. I do not like to cook and my attitude has rubbed off on my older dds. :( I am trying to change so my younger dds will want to cook. Can your dd come over and inspire my dds? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 It seems to me that she is trying to do a wonderful thing and I would encourage her as much as possible. I'd make sure she was fully aware of how proud I was. How late is she serving breakfast? If it's not crazy late, I would require that everyone be polite and wait. It's exceedingly rude not to, IMO. I'd help her get up earlier as well. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I am impressed at her initiative, and I can see why she'd be disappointed if she feels that her siblings aren't appreciating her efforts. I would try to help her plan and start a little earlier for breakfast, and I would also talk with the other family members -- "Sis really would like to serve you breakfast; let's give her a chance and appreciate the service." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessedmom4god Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I am impressed at her initiative, and I can see why she'd be disappointed if she feels that her siblings aren't appreciating her efforts. I would try to help her plan and start a little earlier for breakfast, and I would also talk with the other family members -- "Sis really would like to serve you breakfast; let's give her a chance and appreciate the service." :iagree:I still get:angry: or:sad: if I work hard on a meal and it is met with complaints and I am 30. I also hate that it takes a looooong time to cook from scratch/semi-scatch(is that a word) but 5 min for them to eat it.:glare: When my girls cook, I make sure we oh and ah so they will not get burned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 If it is understood that she is in charge of cooking breakfast, I would see it as my responsibility as the parent to help her get up early enough, AND to make sure the rest of the family waits and eats what she serves - that is common courtesy.If this is not going to work in your house at all, you need to discuss it with her and suggest that she focuses on a different meal. If I were in charge of a meal I would consider it rude if everybody just got himself some other food and I was cooking in vain. :iagree::iagree: She sounds like a great kid. Encourage her. Faithe ( who misses my oldest who sounds a lot like your dd) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I will put the cereal & oatmeal under lock & key tonight. :D They will wait tomorrow for her meal. Lunch was delicious. Bacon burgers. Mmmmmmmm!! She can come here anytime. We like food! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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