Aubrey Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 (edited) . Edited August 25, 2011 by Aubrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I'm so sorry that you are worrying about this. If you feel this is a potential issue, I would apply for public assistance pronto. Food stamps, medicaid for you and the kids, help with utilities. Keeping your family together is the most important thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatashainDFW Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Aubrey, As long as you are not in the streets you should be okay. We have on more than one occasion had to live with family under cramped and not so fun circumstances but have never had an interaction with CPS. At one point my children spent 3 months sleeping on a pallet on the floor while my dh and I slept on the couch and loveseat. As long as you are at your mother's or in an hotel or anything of the sort you should not need to worry about CPS. Living in a car or under a bridge would be a different story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted August 22, 2011 Author Share Posted August 22, 2011 I'm so sorry that you are worrying about this. If you feel this is a potential issue, I would apply for public assistance pronto. Food stamps, medicaid for you and the kids, help with utilities. Keeping your family together is the most important thing. These things don't address housing, though. And if an apt isn't allowed to rent us anything less than 3 bedrooms, then WHY is a one-room hotel "adequate"? (Not that I want anyone to see it that way at this point...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatashainDFW Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Because the 3-br thing is not a CPS issue but a landlord issue. At least that is how it was when I lived in Texas. You could have all your kids in a single room and CPS can't say anything (unless of course any are foster) but landlords won't rent to you unless you meet the housing rules. Believe me I hated it. We actually were told we had to move to a 3 bedroom when dd was 6 months old if we stayed in our apartment complex. Didn't matter that the girl slept in the same room (actually same bed) as us and we couldn't afford a 3 bedroom. It was either upgrade, move or get evicted. Also private landlords are often more willing to rent a smaller place to you because they don't often answer to housing authorities. (found that out from experience) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted August 22, 2011 Author Share Posted August 22, 2011 Because the 3-br thing is not a CPS issue but a landlord issue. At least that is how it was when I lived in Texas. You could have all your kids in a single room and CPS can't say anything (unless of course any are foster) but landlords won't rent to you unless you meet the housing rules. Believe me I hated it. We actually were told we had to move to a 3 bedroom when dd was 6 months old if we stayed in our apartment complex. Didn't matter that the girl slept in the same room (actually same bed) as us and we couldn't afford a 3 bedroom. It was either upgrade, move or get evicted. Also private landlords are often more willing to rent a smaller place to you because they don't often answer to housing authorities. (found that out from experience) Hmmm...the landlords are saying no because of *laws*...I don't know. I don't completely understand, & I'm afraid to ask, kwim? At this point, though, private landlord or whatever--it's all moot. Dh doesn't have a job at the moment, so anybody would be pretty crazy to rent to us at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatashainDFW Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Aubrey, I have been there and done that. I saw you say something about a writing position. If you are an internet writing freelancer pm me I may have some links to help you out. Probably not enough income to live off of forever but maybe help you out a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Aubrey, I don't know if you are near Denver or not, but there are lots of jobs listed on Craigslist. Your dh might be able to do some of them. I saw some were looking for delivery drivers. It was a couple of days ago that I was looking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Hmmm...the landlords are saying no because of *laws*...I don't know. I don't completely understand, & I'm afraid to ask, kwim? At this point, though, private landlord or whatever--it's all moot. Dh doesn't have a job at the moment, so anybody would be pretty crazy to rent to us at all. There actually are Fair Housing laws that landlords owning more than 4 units must follow and it lays out 2 people per bedroom is the max allowed. If you can find a landlord that owns fewer than 4 units, they are exempt from these laws unless Colorado has stricter laws. Unfortunately, by being exempt from Fair Housing laws also means they could deny you a rental for whatever reason they choose. A double edged sword. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know that you have looked into low income housing and I believe mentioned waiting lists. I would get yourself on the waiting lists. I used to manage apartments like these and sometimes a long waiting list would be moved through pretty quickly since circumstances change. I pray that something good comes your way soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Aubrey. :grouphug: I'm sorry your dh's job didn't work out. :grouphug: Would he consider, even temporarily, fast food management? The pay is pretty good, and I've seen quite a few signs here in SW VA advertising for applicants. He could be hired relatively fast and remove this immediate financial burden from you. Forgive me if this has already been suggested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ByGrace3 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I used to be a social worker, and I never saw any kids removed JUST BECAUSE of cramped living conditions. If the kids are fed, educated, clothed, warm, and clean, and the place is clean, I don't think you have any worries. Landlords do have rules about how many people they can rent to in a place. Now if the kids were removed from you, CPS would make sure you had a big enough place before they'd let them go back, but there has to be some abuse or neglect going on before they can take them. Again, as long as their needs are met, I would think you are fine. :iagree: cramped living conditions are the least of a social worker's concerns. As pp said, the only time I have seen CPS get involved in housing space is when a parent is trying to get a child back, then the requirements are me stringent. Poor mama, :grouphug: so much already stressing you, and to have to think about this too :( (Wish you were in FL, plenty of room at our house! And my father's company rarely turns people away for work...) so sorry mama! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 :iagree: cramped living conditions are the least of a social worker's concerns. As pp said, the only time I have seen CPS get involved in housing space is when a parent is trying to get a child back, then the requirements are me stringent. Poor mama, :grouphug: so much already stressing you, and to have to think about this too :( (Wish you were in FL, plenty of room at our house! And my father's company rarely turns people away for work...) so sorry mama! :grouphug: Grace, if your father is hiring, what about Aubrey's dh sending in a resume? I don't think they are looking to stay permanently in Colorado. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ByGrace3 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Grace, if your father is hiring, what about Aubrey's dh sending in a resume? I don't think they are looking to stay permanently in Colorado. Faith I don't have any idea what he does, but if he is flexible, she will welcome to pm me ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in Austin Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 We were foster parents briefly and this is what CPS told us: they do not want to take children away and will only do it if there are no other options for ensuring the minimal safety of the children. In a case of financial stress, they are going to pump resources into the family--govt assistance, private help, etc.,--in order to keep the family together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 We were foster parents briefly and this is what CPS told us: they do not want to take children away and will only do it if there are no other options for ensuring the minimal safety of the children. In a case of financial stress, they are going to pump resources into the family--govt assistance, private help, etc.,--in order to keep the family together. DH is a forensic mental health case manager who works very closely with CPS, and he said the same thing. Taking kids is a last resort and only in cases of abuse or severe neglect. If kids could be taken for cramped living conditions then we would have had our own kids taken, we live in a mobile home and have had up to nine kids (kids and grandkids) here with us at one time. CPS was visiting us too, because two of the kids belonged to my daughter and she had gone to jail and the kids were placed with us. The case worker just wanted to see clean, dressed, happy kids who were fed and had a roof over their heads. Don't worry about this, even if someone called in a report to CPS about your family there would be no reason to be concerned. A caseworker may come to visit just to make sure, but they do not take away kids from loving, involved parents just because they are living in a cramped area. You might even find the caseworker helpful for her knowledge of where to apply for different kinds of assistance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kahlanne Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I used to be a social worker, and I never saw any kids removed JUST BECAUSE of cramped living conditions. If the kids are fed, educated, clothed, warm, and clean, and the place is clean, I don't think you have any worries. Landlords do have rules about how many people they can rent to in a place. Now if the kids were removed from you, CPS would make sure you had a big enough place before they'd let them go back, but there has to be some abuse or neglect going on before they can take them. Again, as long as their needs are met, I would think you are fine. I agree. I know this isn't exactly the same but when we had foster boys, each had to have so much square foot in bedroom area. My son's bedroom was 11x14 and we could have three. We used a bunk bed with bundle underneath. They are more strict with kids already in the system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 These things don't address housing, though. And if an apt isn't allowed to rent us anything less than 3 bedrooms, then WHY is a one-room hotel "adequate"? (Not that I want anyone to see it that way at this point...) I thought you said in earlier thread that the hotel made an exception for you. Generally only four people are allowed in a 2 bed hotel room. Not sure about suite hotels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted August 22, 2011 Author Share Posted August 22, 2011 Aubrey. :grouphug: I'm sorry your dh's job didn't work out. :grouphug: Would he consider, even temporarily, fast food management? The pay is pretty good, and I've seen quite a few signs here in SW VA advertising for applicants. He could be hired relatively fast and remove this immediate financial burden from you. Forgive me if this has already been suggested. He'd consider anything & has applied for those types of jobs in TX--which is a big deal, because his dad took a ff mgmt job "to make ends meet" temporarily back in the 80s & has never been able to get another kind of job since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Sent you a pm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted August 22, 2011 Author Share Posted August 22, 2011 I thought you said in earlier thread that the hotel made an exception for you. Generally only four people are allowed in a 2 bed hotel room. Not sure about suite hotels. We are in one room w/ two beds, & check out today. We will be going back to mom's house, where there is now a shower head on the shower, a door on the bathroom, & flooring in the living room. As long as we are there, I can't imagine CPS having a problem, because I'm sure they'd look at the house as a whole, which is more than sufficient. She's not happy w/ me right now, though, so I don't have...a lot of peace about things just being fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessed3x Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 If my house burned down today, I would be allowed to keep ALL my foster kids in a hotel room or even my mom's house. NINE people in a hotel room would be fine in order to keep the kids with people that love them so they didn't have another move in their lives. Honestly, unless we had a pretty fast plan, we'd probably ask them to put the babies in another home; but that would still leave us seven people. Additionally, women's shelters and homeless shelters often have children, many times in rooms with another family or lots of other families. Lots of families live in hotels full time for years. We did for several weeks a long time ago. We met families who had for very long periods. Additionally, when we were traveling for work, lots of families traveled too. And even more families live with other family members. We also did that (where we went after moving out of the hotel). Again, no one batted an eye. And I'm assuming your kids are clean, that the area you have will be kept up to the best of your ability, and that your kids will be fed. When people talk about not caring for their kids ADEQUATELY they are talking about living in mold infested 50 year old trailers that haven't had a good cleaning in 20 years. They are talking about no running water or electricity for LONG periods of time. They are talking about parents REFUSING to get and KEEP a job so they can provide for their kids. They are talking about kids in the 3rd percentile for weight though they'd naturally be at the 40th had they been fed (a child in the 3rd percentile naturally is quite different). They are talking about dog feces in the child's room every time they come out. They are talking about severe safety hazards like uncovered wells and no supervision when kids are near them. They are talking about lice so bad a kid misses 8 out of 24 weeks of school (btw, schools only don't allow kids if there are actual bugs so we're talking ongoing infestation). They are talking about kids so filthy their privates are bleeding because they haven't been bathed in weeks. They are talking about parents selling foodstamps for alcohol. They are talking about parents having knock down, drag out fights in front of their children. They are talking about parents turning their backs when their drug dealers want to take their son into the back room of the house to "talk." They are talking about.... Get the idea? NOTHING you have said suggests even *kinda* close to the degree necessary for an investigation. The other part of that is *IF* you were investigated, even if they *did* find an issue, they'd create what is called a safety plan. In that plan, it will give you specific things to fix as well as a time period. Only if you refuse to do that (with their help, by the way), would they start looking at placement options for your children. So: 1) I doubt you qualify for someone to make the call 2) I doubt you qualify for much of an investigation 3) The investigation will likely be closed 4) if not closed, you'd be given a safety plan AND help to work it 5) obviously you wouldn't let it go any further So relax :) Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Aubrey, I also know of 2 jobs in CO. 1 is farther north of Denver and one is just East, the pay is not fantastic, but maybe they could help? Please, PM me if you are interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Oh and about your original topic. CPS won't come take the children without other causes too, usually. Even being homeless, a lot of times can be overlooked if they are still being cared for- food, love, attention, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted August 22, 2011 Author Share Posted August 22, 2011 If my house burned down today, I would be allowed to keep ALL my foster kids in a hotel room or even my mom's house. NINE people in a hotel room would be fine in order to keep the kids with people that love them so they didn't have another move in their lives. Honestly, unless we had a pretty fast plan, we'd probably ask them to put the babies in another home; but that would still leave us seven people. Additionally, women's shelters and homeless shelters often have children, many times in rooms with another family or lots of other families. Lots of families live in hotels full time for years. We did for several weeks a long time ago. We met families who had for very long periods. Additionally, when we were traveling for work, lots of families traveled too. And even more families live with other family members. We also did that (where we went after moving out of the hotel). Again, no one batted an eye. And I'm assuming your kids are clean, that the area you have will be kept up to the best of your ability, and that your kids will be fed. When people talk about not caring for their kids ADEQUATELY they are talking about living in mold infested 50 year old trailers that haven't had a good cleaning in 20 years. They are talking about no running water or electricity for LONG periods of time. They are talking about parents REFUSING to get and KEEP a job so they can provide for their kids. They are talking about kids in the 3rd percentile for weight though they'd naturally be at the 40th had they been fed (a child in the 3rd percentile naturally is quite different). They are talking about dog feces in the child's room every time they come out. They are talking about severe safety hazards like uncovered wells and no supervision when kids are near them. They are talking about lice so bad a kid misses 8 out of 24 weeks of school (btw, schools only don't allow kids if there are actual bugs so we're talking ongoing infestation). They are talking about kids so filthy their privates are bleeding because they haven't been bathed in weeks. They are talking about parents selling foodstamps for alcohol. They are talking about parents having knock down, drag out fights in front of their children. They are talking about parents turning their backs when their drug dealers want to take their son into the back room of the house to "talk." They are talking about.... Get the idea? NOTHING you have said suggests even *kinda* close to the degree necessary for an investigation. The other part of that is *IF* you were investigated, even if they *did* find an issue, they'd create what is called a safety plan. In that plan, it will give you specific things to fix as well as a time period. Only if you refuse to do that (with their help, by the way), would they start looking at placement options for your children. So: 1) I doubt you qualify for someone to make the call 2) I doubt you qualify for much of an investigation 3) The investigation will likely be closed 4) if not closed, you'd be given a safety plan AND help to work it 5) obviously you wouldn't let it go any further So relax :) Seriously. Ok, lol, I feel better. I just...don't want to EVER look at my life & be able to think, "Gee. I could imagine CPS taking the kids." But they are fat little butterballs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Chiming in on the landlord issue... Lots of landlords figure that if they rent to a small family instead of a large one, all things being equal, there will be less wear and tear on the property. They are not allowed to discriminate against children, generally, but they can make decisions based on how many people are going to be in the house. So the state laws on this vary, but here in CA the rule is that if you have two people per bedroom plus one, a landlord cannot object, but if you have more than that, he can. So the 'people per room' clause is for the landlords more so than the families. Around here, too, people can rent a room and live in it with their children. That might be worth looking into in CO as a backup to your mom's, although I hope you don't need it--those set ups are crowded, but fairly inexpensive. The ones I have seen have a shared kitchen, and each family has its own locked cabinet. It's not great, but it's a fallback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missiemick Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Dh lost his job? I missed that somewhere! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I think the Duggars lived in a 2 bedroom until they finished building their current house. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I think local fire codes may come into play, too - we have had motels tell us local fire code stated no more than four people per bedroom. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.