Carrie12345 Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Compared to many (most?) others on this board, not at all. Compared to most people I know IRL, I'm quite prudish, lol. I do think I walk a fine line for myself and my kids. I can't really define it, but my daughters pretty much know where I put my foot down. I changed out of a particular tankini today because... let's just say my no longer pregnant or nursing body pushed that top over the line. The V has officially dipped too low! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 That's sad. Masturbation is wrong. Sex before marragie is wrong. Thinking about boobs and bums is the devils work. We are turning these poor boys into guilty sex maniacs with this garbage. Beat it man, just beat it. Get it over with. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I don't do frumpy. I don't expect dd to do frumpy. But neither do we do trashy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 [quote name=Mrs Mungo;2941999 As an aside' date=' I am already on record as having a problem with words across the butt. ;) Oh yeah! I hate that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Beat it man, just beat it. Get it over with. So you think it's okay for young boys to get into the habit of masturbating to climax (and this almost always goes hand in hand with porn)? How do you think that will affect their future sex lives with Real women, someday? I, too, find that rebelution site pathetic but I will not be letting my boys have free reign with porn or lusting after girls. I will also find it sad if they get into the habit of masturbating because I know how that has affected so many marriages (mine included). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I don't do frumpy. I don't expect dd to do frumpy. But neither do we do trashy. :iagree: And there is a sexy middle ground for married couples. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 That's sad. Everything is wrong. Masturbation is wrong. Sex before marraige is wrong. Thinking about boobs and bums is the work of the devil. We are turning these poor normal boys into guilty sex maniacs with this garbage. Beat it man, just beat it. Get it over with. :iagree: But to each their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) Yes. Yes, I do. I am 100% pro masturbation. A teen boy worth is salt doesn't need 'porn'. Let him be. Close the door. So you think it's okay for young boys to get into the habit of masturbating to climax. Edited July 18, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 So you think it's okay for young boys to get into the habit of masturbating to climax (and this almost always goes hand in hand with porn)? Yep, totally okay. Well, the masturbation part, not necessarily the porn part. Okay for a young girl as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLVD Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 So you think it's okay for young boys to get into the habit of masturbating to climax (and this almost always goes hand in hand with porn)? How do you think that will affect their future sex lives with Real women, someday? I, too, find that rebelution site pathetic but I will not be letting my boys have free reign with porn or lusting after girls. I will also find it sad if they get into the habit of masturbating because I know how that has affected so many marriages (mine included). what??? I can understand not being a fan of porn for children or teens. But, yes, I would actually encourage masturbation. Much better than a teen boy, or girl, going out and doing things much too young with the opposite sex. I have only ever heard of masturbation as a normal and positive part of life and relationships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Do you have any idea how that can affect their future sex lives? Are you okay with porn as well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Modesty is important to me but my definition of modesty appears vastly different than some other people's definition of modesty. My girls can wear 2 piece bathing suits because it is so much easier for them to use the restroom with those. They don't wear string bikinis, however! I prefer the kind where the top meets the bottoms. They wear dresses most days by choice but they have to wear shorts under them so they can play without worries. They can wear sleeveless shirts, tank tops, no problem. They can wear shorts as long as they fit. And booty shorts don't fit anyone! They don't wear clothes with suggestive writing or images. I think they dress like typical kids. I think it is the norm and that most parents do not dress their children immodestly, and so the ones that allow it get the attention, are shocking, and everyone likes to talk about how they aren't like that. My oldest are 7, however, and it is easy to find things that are cute and age appropriate...I might have more of a problem when they are 15. Looking back, I dressed very immodestly as a teen for attention and I'd like to have my girls dressing a little more demure, but I don't think there's anything wrong with young girls wanting to appear attractive and beautiful. I think modesty is much more about behavior than appearances and clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I lost track of who posted it, but you are totally right. Why should a boy be allowed to just wear a swimsuit and girls have to be in a tankini? My sil does make all her kids wear a rash guard for modesty and sun protection. The thing that is frustrating is girls' shorts at the stores are often short-short, and guys wear their shorts below their knees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 IMO, the issue (and the "solution") lies both with girls and with boys. Many people like to pretend that girls and boys/men and women are wired the same regarding visual stimuli. They are not. My husband I have very frank talks in which I ask him about the experience of teenage boys. It has been quite enlightening. ). I have two kids of each gender and I will work with all of them to be respectful of the opposite gender (and themselves). My dh and I will teach our boys how to manage the thoughts and visuals which pass through their minds on a near-constant basis (more dh than I will be involved in this, I suspect). I will work with my girls on respecting themselves and not being fodder for male fantasy. (Yes, I know that one would need to wear a floor length potato sack in order to avoid this. I was checked out by a man at the grocery store on my way home from church. I was not in beachwear, and no bits were showing. I had my 5 year old dd with me. The man was with his wife and two teenagers. As I discussed this with my dh later, I told him that I wonder if men don't realize that they are staring...and that they are obvious to women.) Each gender bears responsibility. Everyone is responsible for themselves. No one can "make" anyone feel a certain way, though I have certainly felt humilation or disgust in the past by lewd comments or stares from men. That is a pretty natural reaction, I think. In the end, no person has control over another person's thoughts/fantasies, but I will do my best to leave something to the imagination of others where my kids are concerned. Also, no buttcracks or private parts showing for either gender here. If my boys wore pants that were too tight and revealing, the pants would go away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Do you have any idea how that can affect their future sex lives? Are you okay with porn as well? :001_huh: Dh and I are pretty happy with how it's turned out for us! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLVD Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 :001_huh:Dh and I are pretty happy with how it's turned out for us! :D :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 Yes. Yes, I am. I am 100% pro masturbation. A teen boy worth is salt doesn't need 'porn'. Let him be. Close the door. Ha! I just asked my dh and he said that no, he didn't need porn as a teenager. An active imagination was more than enough. Somehow, his teenage habits don't seem to have adversely affected our marriage. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 And there is a sexy middle ground for married couples. :tongue_smilie: Anything goes in the bedroom.:D I once bought a pair of hot pink thong panties with "you wish" written across the arse just to see dh's reaction.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 :001_huh:Dh and I are pretty happy with how it's turned out for us! :D That's great! Unfortunately TONS of men get hooked on masturbating to porn, and that carries into their adult lives and their marriages (it's much easier to masturbate to porn than it is to engage with a real woman, or so I've heard) I guess I'm surprised to hear moms say they're fine with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Yes. Yes, I am. I am 100% pro masturbation. A teen boy worth is salt doesn't need 'porn'. Let him be. Close the door. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I think the modesty movement is ultimately anti-woman. Posts about not being able to do ballet or sports due to moesty concerns illustrate this. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacie Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 We are a modest family for religious and personal reasons. We do not feel that you need to be covered from neck to ankle, but we are still modest. My Opinion (how we dress in our family): Clothing should not cling tightly to the body. Cleavage should not be shown. Shoulders, backs, and stomachs need to be covered. Dresses/Skirts/Shorts need to be knee length or longer. No undergarments showing. Men should not be topless infront of others. Women should not wear just sports bras. You should check your outfit in the mirror before you go out. Bend over and make sure that you cannot see too much (top or bottom). Raise your arms to check the length of your shirt or dress. Ask what do you think that others (namely the opposite sex) would think about what you are wearing. Would your outfit cause men to lust after you or have impure thoughts? What does the outfit say about who you are or what you believe? We do not swim in mixed company, unless it is family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Yes. Yes, I am. I am 100% pro masturbation. A teen boy worth is salt doesn't need 'porn'. Let him be. Close the door. :lol: Awesome. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 So you think it's okay for young boys to get into the habit of masturbating to climax (and this almost always goes hand in hand with porn)? How do you think that will affect their future sex lives with Real women, someday? I, too, find that rebelution site pathetic but I will not be letting my boys have free reign with porn or lusting after girls. I will also find it sad if they get into the habit of masturbating because I know how that has affected so many marriages (mine included). I am not pro-masturbation. I am a Christian and I tell my kids that it is normal, especially with crazy hormones. No, looking at porn of any kind is not allowed and I've explained I don't want their sexuality stunted by it and what it can lead to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I have an extremely modest 15 yr old and certainly don't show off my goodies on the regular. The focus is on girls here, and we all know that. No one will ever answer the question of making boys accountable for making girls feel that way. Umm, I thought I did answer. I'm teaching my son's to look at a person's character, rather than their surface. I can't change the entire world, but I *can* teach my children to value ppl based on the inside, not the out. Others in the thread are not wanting their girls, or themselves, being seen as pieces of meat. The focus is on women and modesty. If the premise is for girls not to be treated or viewed as meat, etc, wouldn't it be men doing that? Once again, I cannot change the world. I do not want my kids with their bits hanging out. I find it disgusting, tbh. 12 yos should not be wearing cleavage baring tops, have their butts hanging over top or from under their clothing. Its not about how others see them, its about teaching them to value themselves. Teaching them their bodies are private, not for public display/consumption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Anything goes in the bedroom.:D I once bought a pair of hot pink thong panties with "you wish" written across the arse just to see dh's reaction.:lol: That is hysterical! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 That's great! Unfortunately TONS of men get hooked on masturbating to porn, and that carries into their adult lives and their marriages (it's much easier to masturbate to porn than it is to engage with a real woman, or so I've heard) I guess I'm surprised to hear moms say they're fine with that. Porn is a completely separate issue from masturbation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 That's great! Unfortunately TONS of men get hooked on masturbating to porn, and that carries into their adult lives and their marriages (it's much easier to masturbate to porn than it is to engage with a real woman, or so I've heard) I guess I'm surprised to hear moms say they're fine with that. I respectfully disagree with masturbation and/or porn being the root cause of those issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I respectfully disagree with masturbation and/or porn being the root cause of those issues. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) I am an agnostic social liberal and modesty is important to me. However, I think my definition of modesty is very different than most here. I have no problem with showing skin. I'm fine with bikinis, tanks, spaghetti straps, short skirts, dance wear, etc., when it's appropriate. What I'm NOT comfortable with is deliberately dressing in a way to look like you're ready to rip your clothes off and jump in the sack. What concerns me most is the motivation. Some girls will love that dress because it's purple and flouncy and has pretty flowers on it. Other girls are going to love it because they know it's going to be provocative and they want boys to stare at them. I do think it's anti-woman for a teen girl to want to dress like a sex object. Edited July 18, 2011 by Perry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Porn is a completely separate issue from masturbation. I do not think it is as separate as we would like to think. If we're giving our sons tons of alone time to fantasize and figure out masturbating to climax (and this takes more figuring out than we would think, according to the guys I've talked to, if they have not yet been exposed to sex on screen) then one can almost bet they are also enjoying porn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Porn is a completely separate issue from masturbation. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 That's great! Unfortunately TONS of men get hooked on masturbating to porn, and that carries into their adult lives and their marriages (it's much easier to masturbate to porn than it is to engage with a real woman, or so I've heard) I guess I'm surprised to hear moms say they're fine with that. I don't have any official studies for you, but I suspect that the vast, vast majority of men have masturbated regularly at some point in their lives and that relatively speaking, only a very small portion of those men go on to have an actual problem relating to real women because of it. Just a hunch on my part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I respectfully disagree with masturbation and/or porn being the root cause of those issues. What would you venture to guess is the root cause? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 :iagree: Yep, totally okay. Okay for a young girl as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 What would you venture to guess is the root cause? Sexual repression, communication problems, feeling alienated from one's spouse, an addiction, the *root* cause of such problems is usually an emotional issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 What would you venture to guess is the root cause? So before video...people didn't masturbate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 only a very small portion of those men go on to have an actual problem relating to real women because of it. Just a hunch on my part. I did not say a problem relating to women. I am talking about how masturbation and porn can affect a marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 So before video...people didn't masturbate? Nude cave drawings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I do not think it is as separate as we would like to think. If we're giving our sons tons of alone time to fantasize and figure out masturbating to climax (and this takes more figuring out than we would think, according to the guys I've talked to, if they have not yet been exposed to sex on screen) then one can almost bet they are also enjoying porn. I think your children are very young. Wait until your boys are taking 40 minute showers. They don't need porn, they just need some privacy. I'm giving the 'just keep it private' talk to my second son who is of nocturnal jubilation age. They don't need shame, they just need to know it's how things work and that I will never comment on it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Why are you all hating on porn? Kilts are a form of porn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 So before video...people didn't masturbate? Video is not the only form of porn. Men have had visual aids since the beginning of time, lol, the problem NOW is how easily accessible it is and how addicting it becomes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Nude cave drawings. and hieroglyphic pron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I do not think it is as separate as we would like to think. If we're giving our sons tons of alone time to fantasize and figure out masturbating to climax (and this takes more figuring out than we would think, according to the guys I've talked to, if they have not yet been exposed to sex on screen) then one can almost bet they are also enjoying porn. LOL So not true. So not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I am 100% pro masturbation. Somebody needs to put that on a t-shirt. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Why are you all hating on porn? Kilts are a form of porn. I'm the only one hating on porn, that I am aware of, so don't worry. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Sexual repression, communication problems, feeling alienated from one's spouse, an addiction, the *root* cause of such problems is usually an emotional issue. Performance anxiety, personal preference, physiological issues... There's more data out there on sexual issues than world hunger! (Okay, I'm just guessing on that, but it has been studied nearly to death!) You could trace back to hundreds of different possibilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I did not say a problem relating to women. I am talking about how masturbation and porn can affect a marriage. Can you not separate these things? I totally agree that replacing intimacy with a p*rn addiction can severely damage a marriage. Totally agree. Just normal, run-of-the-mill, occasional masturbation? I disagree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I think your children are very young. Wait until your boys are taking 40 minute showers. They don't need porn, they just need some privacy. QUOTE] They dont even need 40 minute showers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I did not say a problem relating to women. I am talking about how masturbation and porn can affect a marriage. I agree that porn can affect a marriage but not masturbation. They don't have to go hand in hand.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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