CalicoKat Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Money & security vs. The chance to change life to be more enjoyable for all? You've heard me talk about our plan to move to the country. Buy the farm from my folks and life more simply. We've talked about it, dreamt of doing it for years. Then DH got laid off and it just seemed that the timing for us and for them was finally right and we made the decision to move ahead. We've talked about our decision with a financial planner, dh's folks, my folks, and prayed like crazy. Our life would be a lesser financial burden to dh and despite the unemployment extremely doable. The financial planner we met with was extremely impressed with dh and it looks like dh has a future with his company in our new location. DH's severance would continue to float us until he get's his through his apprenticeship. DH's excited about that potential. Yesterday DH got the job call. He told them we'd already decided to move. They've called three times. Their HR guy called. Evidently dh was their first pick from some 120 other applicants. Oh they're courting him. High salary, high bonus, stock options to name a few. DH knows he could do the job. It'd be like similar to what he'd been doing before. What would you choose? Money & Security? A chance to re-write your life? Folks are going to think we're crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Where would you have to live for the "better" job? Which one has more job security? Which one would your husband enjoy and be happy in long term? A happy husband is worth a GREAT deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Why would you have to choose one or the other? Jobs come and go, but a lifestyle is personal. Why couldn't you continue on with the plan, dh take the job, stash the income, and down the road be able to live the lifestyle with a financial cushion? Goodness, I feel giddy for you just thinking about it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Why would you have to choose one or the other? Jobs come and go, but a lifestyle is personal. Why couldn't you continue on with the plan, dh take the job, stash the income, and down the road be able to live the lifestyle with a financial cushion? Goodness, I feel giddy for you just thinking about it! The job and the lifestyle are 250 miles apart. Can't do both simultaneously. It would be too good to be true if we could do both. But that's not to say dh won't find a job near the farm that would be nice too. He's been looking there but nothing has gotten farther than initial phone calls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Where would you have to live for the "better" job? Which one has more job security? Which one would your husband enjoy and be happy in long term? A happy husband is worth a GREAT deal. And when mama ain't happy, no one's happy. And this mama is positively miserable when daddy's unhappy. :D I know what you mean. We've done the high power, high salary, 70-80 work hours, 24/7 on-call lifestyle. Did it for 3 years. It was hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 The job and the lifestyle are 250 miles apart. Can't do both simultaneously. It would be too good to be true if we could do both. But that's not to say dh won't find a job near the farm that would be nice too. He's been looking there but nothing has gotten farther than initial phone calls. Oh. Dang. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Oh. Dang. yup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Could you find a middle line? Could he take the job and then you sale your house and buy a few acres within a reasonable driving distance? Just thinking... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Would this new job be a high power, lots of hours, on call type one? Then NO< I would NOT do it if there are other options. There are a lot of ways to save money when living more rurally. You can garden, things tend to be cheaper, etc. You might have to cut back on outside activities/driving but when you are more rural, there is a lot more free things to do just around the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Can you move to the farm AND have your husband take the new job? My Dh commutes over an hour to work. Fortunately, he has a van pool, so he doesn't have to drive or pay for gas. We have been here 5 years, and Dh's salary has been crucial for not only supporting the family, but for buying animals, feed, fencing supplies and other things to help us become more self-sufficient. I think we are just on the brink of turning a profit. This month, the farm will pay the feed bill with a little extra left over. It takes longer than you expect to build up the knowledge and resources to live more simply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I would take the money and security... BUT BUT BUT... it's been a very hard year or two (or three...) here, financially and emotionally, and I'm jaded. We did the lifestyle change, and it didn't work out. Not that we wish we hadn't done it, we know God has taught us a lot through this, it's just not everything we had hoped it would be. Now, we're using what we've learned, saving, and hoping to move somewhere similar to our old lifestyle. (We lived in a city, and moved to very rural areas. Now, we're looking to move back to the city. Soon.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 If they want him that badly, can he work out his own sort of hours? Say, for instance he only wants to work M-W, so he could stay there for those three days and drive back for Th-Sun. I mean, it would be kind of a pain, but would the income still be worth it? If he did take this job, you would still get to keep your land, right? Could he commit to 2 or 3 years to the job (known only to you and him, of course), you all move out there, and then just drive back kind of often to keep readying the land and moving forward with that. Lots of people have "second homes" or "cottages" they escape to as often as possible (like every weekend around here), so that wouldn't be too crazy. Would the money he earns be enough to save a lot over the course of the next couple years and still be comfortable? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I have a strong preference for a steady paycheck and medical benefits. Dh is a top guy at work, earns a nice salary, but has some stress due to his position. However, we would both be more stressed with less money or inconsistent pay (e.g. commission). So, if the financial planning job is commissions-based or slow to start and the other job is not, we'd pick the other job and try to find our dream home in that area. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I would take the money and security, too. BUT, we just came off of a long layoff and are a little shell shocked. The romantic in me says, "Go to the country! Live that dream!" In real life though, I'm not a romantic. I'm a practical girl who finds security very, very appealing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 It depends on what kind of person you are. Can you deal with not being able to have what you have now? How much stress can your relationship handle? We would choose the change because money and security have always come and gone in our lives, however we have dealt with extreme conditions and been able to stay civilized with one another and be happy together, no matter what. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 if the change of lifestyle is something you've always wanted, and it's extremely doable despite the unemployment, I would definitely opt for the change of lifestyle. You will never know what it will be like unless you try. We moved to the country 15 years ago and I honestly could NEVER live any other way and be as happy as I am now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 IDK, My dh has been working about part-time for the last year. The time together has been great. We downsized our lifestyle and things have been tight, but not horrid. He's still plugging along trying to get more work and I have not gone insane yet. :tongue_smilie: The older I get, the more I realize that time and life are short. You should spend the time doing the things you want to do (not like sitting around eating bon-bons, but not forsaking your dreams). I'm all for security (haven't had that in a while), but not at the expense of having a life. There's so many considerations for a decision like that. I would probably lean towards doing the job and setting a deadline to quit and head to the country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Take the money, live frugally, bank it; move to the farm in 3 years with a bigger cushion. Also, who knows how the job might evolve. Hubby could end up being able to work a compromise/move to the farm after he gets his foot in the door and proves invaluable! I would try for both, just deferring the farm part for a few years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I would probably lean towards doing the job and setting a deadline to quit and head to the country. Take the money, live frugally, bank it; move to the farm in 3 years with a bigger cushion. I would try for both, just deferring the farm part for a few years. This sounds like a great idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Would this new job be a high power, lots of hours, on call type one? Then NO< I would NOT do it if there are other options. There are a lot of ways to save money when living more rurally. You can garden, things tend to be cheaper, etc. You might have to cut back on outside activities/driving but when you are more rural, there is a lot more free things to do just around the house. Yes, it would be a side step from his previous job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Could you find a middle line? Could he take the job and then you sale your house and buy a few acres within a reasonable driving distance? Just thinking... We kind of did this already when we moved here 3 years ago. It was a compromise. Farther out of the city, within a hour commute for dh. It's country feel, almost one acre with no backyard neighbors. We hear the coyotes howl, the owls hooting, mosquitos abound, and I have my smallish garden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 I have a strong preference for a steady paycheck and medical benefits. Dh is a top guy at work, earns a nice salary, but has some stress due to his position. However, we would both be more stressed with less money or inconsistent pay (e.g. commission). So, if the financial planning job is commissions-based or slow to start and the other job is not, we'd pick the other job and try to find our dream home in that area. :) Can't afford our dream farm in this area. Cost of living is too high. Taxes even higher. We looked into it 3 years ago. Health insurance is one of our concerns, yes. We're able to do COBRA for 18 months and then we'll have to find something else. Our deductible was met for the year already so it's makes sense to stay on Cobra through the end of the year no matter what. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Take the money, live frugally, bank it; move to the farm in 3 years with a bigger cushion. Also, who knows how the job might evolve. Hubby could end up being able to work a compromise/move to the farm after he gets his foot in the door and proves invaluable! I would try for both, just deferring the farm part for a few years. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 In this economy, definitely the job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Did you choose? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 (edited) I can't tell you what to do but if it were my family and this had been a dream for some time and it's doable, I think I'd go for it and not bother with the high paying job. About a year ago my husband was offered a position in management. It would have put him on an almost certain ladder to higher positions and a very large salary. It would also have meant moving. We'd just bought our dream home the year before where we were going to give our kids the rural life we wanted them to have. So it was money or dream. He didn't take the offer and we don't regret it for a moment. ETA: I remember my husband being very happy about the promotion but looking back it was the OFFER that made him happy. He was feeling very flattered and validated. Now he realizes the job itself probably wouldn't have been so great. He'd done management in the past and although he was very good at it he found it stressful an unpleasant. So is your husband caught up in the good feelings of the offer or did he really enjoy what he was doing before? Edited June 26, 2011 by WishboneDawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Money & security vs. The chance to change life to be more enjoyable for all? You've heard me talk about our plan to move to the country. Buy the farm from my folks and life more simply. We've talked about it, dreamt of doing it for years. Then DH got laid off and it just seemed that the timing for us and for them was finally right and we made the decision to move ahead. We've talked about our decision with a financial planner, dh's folks, my folks, and prayed like crazy. Our life would be a lesser financial burden to dh and despite the unemployment extremely doable. The financial planner we met with was extremely impressed with dh and it looks like dh has a future with his company in our new location. DH's severance would continue to float us until he get's his through his apprenticeship. DH's excited about that potential. Yesterday DH got the job call. He told them we'd already decided to move. They've called three times. Their HR guy called. Evidently dh was their first pick from some 120 other applicants. Oh they're courting him. High salary, high bonus, stock options to name a few. DH knows he could do the job. It'd be like similar to what he'd been doing before. What would you choose? Money & Security? A chance to re-write your life? Folks are going to think we're crazy. I would take the high powered job for a predetermined number of years yet continue to live as though husband laid off. Sock away at least half the salary so you can have a hefty down payment when you buy farm from your folks. Perhaps you could go ahead and purchase the farm but rent it to your folks. ETA: You could begin work on a life simplifying plan while still in city, especially if you choose to continue to live as though husband is laid off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I have had both....and I would go back to simplicity and begin broke (or rather, living on a lot less than we do now) any day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Will working the job for a few years either let you buy the farm outright or with a very small mortgage? If the answer to this is yes, then that is what I would do. We paid off our last house a few years ago. After selling it and purchasing the one we have now we have money left over. Not having to pay a mortgage has major advantages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Have you decided yet? I woke up at 4 this morning and thought of you (weird, I know, but I did it). On Friday afternoon we received a letter in the mail from the county exec stating that due to the new 2012 budget cuts, there "may be a significant decrease in funding" with which to pay us for our work. (um, :glare::glare::glare::glare:) So, we may or may not have 6 more months of work - who knows? Gotta love it. So, naturally, I've been thinking about your plan for the entire weekend, and I must say, it's looking pretty good to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Have you decided yet? I woke up at 4 this morning and thought of you (weird, I know, but I did it). On Friday afternoon we received a letter in the mail from the county exec stating that due to the new 2012 budget cuts, there "may be a significant decrease in funding" with which to pay us for our work. (um, :glare::glare::glare::glare:) So, we may or may not have 6 more months of work - who knows? Gotta love it. So, naturally, I've been thinking about your plan for the entire weekend, and I must say, it's looking pretty good to me. Yes we've decided. It's truly a roller coaster of thoughts. One minute we're excited and then not. But we're moving ahead with our plans. This is one thing we would deeply regret never having tried when we had a clear opportunity. We always said that it wouldn't work unless DH had a job in that area. So he's focusing on that location solely now. Anyway, DH did not get the high paying job. So that makes it easy, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 To me, life is one long series of phases. I'd take the money-making phase now so that other possibilities would be open for us later. It's easy for me to say this as someone who is struggling with the money & security thing, though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Yes we've decided. It's truly a roller coaster of thoughts. One minute we're excited and then not. But we're moving ahead with our plans. This is one thing we would deeply regret never having tried when we had a clear opportunity. We always said that it wouldn't work unless DH had a job in that area. So he's focusing on that location solely now. Anyway, DH did not get the high paying job. So that makes it easy, right? Is it bad for me to be happy that he didn't get the job? :D I love that you guys are going ahead with the dream. delaying such things tends to move them off into "someday" and eventually "never". Have you considered starting a blog up to document the journey? I'd love to follow it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I would take the money and security... BUT BUT BUT... it's been a very hard year or two (or three...) here, financially and emotionally, and I'm jaded. We did the lifestyle change, and it didn't work out. Not that we wish we hadn't done it, we know God has taught us a lot through this, it's just not everything we had hoped it would be. Now, we're using what we've learned, saving, and hoping to move somewhere similar to our old lifestyle. (We lived in a city, and moved to very rural areas. Now, we're looking to move back to the city. Soon.) I would take the money and security, too. BUT, we just came off of a long layoff and are a little shell shocked. The romantic in me says, "Go to the country! Live that dream!" In real life though, I'm not a romantic. I'm a practical girl who finds security very, very appealing. :iagree: We went for the lifestyle change and the stress of constant financial worries has not been worth it, in general. But, I guess it is one of those situations in life where you never know unless you try. If you do decide to go for the job, try to build a plan that will allow you to get to the "lifestyle" eventually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Based on where I think the economy is headed, I would choose the simple life in the country. With a well and wood-burnng stove. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Is it bad for me to be happy that he didn't get the job? :D I love that you guys are going ahead with the dream. delaying such things tends to move them off into "someday" and eventually "never". Have you considered starting a blog up to document the journey? I'd love to follow it! Nope, it makes the decision easier, huh? :grouphug: Still wishing you all the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Is it bad for me to be happy that he didn't get the job? :D I love that you guys are going ahead with the dream. delaying such things tends to move them off into "someday" and eventually "never". Have you considered starting a blog up to document the journey? I'd love to follow it! It was kind of like putting out a fleece. Not bad to be happy to know a direction. He's considering an Edward Jones job today. There are four open positions in that area. It's always been a hobby for him, personal finances, and our current Edward Jones guy has always said he's got a knack for it. So perhaps. That'd give a good salary the first year. Then depending on business each year after. It's interesting this life. Yesterday I had to tell dh that I was in agreement and supportive and I'd be there for decisions making but I'd like to forgo the roller coaster of emotions for a while. Laundry, meal time, packing, and house keeping need my energy for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Based on where I think the economy is headed, I would choose the simple life in the country. With a well and wood-burnng stove. My folks are urging us to consider an outdoor furnace. There's a pellet stove in the basement right now (my aunt's, which she'll probably move with her). And there's the fireplace upstairs that needs some maintenance too. The fire place my dad would like us to "remake" into a place for the pellet stove. The furnace is older and probably needs replacing too eventually. Fortunately because we'll be renting from my folks the expensive of all this won't be fully on us. But we'll get to make some decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Nope, it makes the decision easier, huh? :grouphug: Still wishing you all the best. Thank you, it does make our hearts a bit easier for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 oh man serious soul searching......I'd probably go with the move to the country-but that's ME! sister's husband lost his job once and got another in construction-he had done construction years ago when he was younger-he was now in his mid-late 50s but now he wasn't happy with it (pay was good)--he went with another job (pay was much lower-lousey) and was happy-they scratched a while to make ends meet...and I'm always telling everyone-gotta be happy with your job....so it all just depends on what will make everyone happy...... good luck......keep us all updated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 oh man serious soul searching......I'd probably go with the move to the country-but that's ME! sister's husband lost his job once and got another in construction-he had done construction years ago when he was younger-he was now in his mid-late 50s but now he wasn't happy with it (pay was good)--he went with another job (pay was much lower-lousey) and was happy-they scratched a while to make ends meet...and I'm always telling everyone-gotta be happy with your job....so it all just depends on what will make everyone happy...... good luck......keep us all updated :grouphug: Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 My folks are urging us to consider an outdoor furnace. There's a pellet stove in the basement right now (my aunt's, which she'll probably move with her). And there's the fireplace upstairs that needs some maintenance too. The fire place my dad would like us to "remake" into a place for the pellet stove. The furnace is older and probably needs replacing too eventually. Fortunately because we'll be renting from my folks the expensive of all this won't be fully on us. But we'll get to make some decisions. We have a wood stove. I like the idea of pellet stoves but they seem sort of ridiculous to me. A big waste of energy to process wood, perfectly burnable wood, into something, well, burnable. I know they're more efficient in one sense but for self-sufficiency you can't beat a wood stove. Or for fun. My kids LOVE hauling wood. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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