What on earth do I do?

[plain jane]

I've completely lost my mind. :001_huh: I wish I were kidding. Ever since baby was born my brain function has been hovering at 0. I can't remember anything, I can't think clearly, I can't form a coherent thought. Everything is just so dang fuzzy.

 

I'm doing incredibly stupid things. Half the time I can't call my kids by their proper names. I call child A by child C's name etc. Last week, I completely fell behind in laundry, not because baby was needy or kids were sick, but because I honestly forgot that laundry even needed to be done. We're basically eating the same meals for the last 4 weeks because I can't think of anything else to fix (that and my family is allergic/sensitive to practically everything).

 

I've been forgetting appointments, forgetting to return phone calls or book play dates. Oh my goodness, the list goes on. :(

 

The worst of it is that I simply can't think properly. I'm living in a haze. Just today, I was trying to go over SOTW4 with my dd. She's on a chapter that I know nothing about (I went to PS afterall ;)) and yet, I was not able to follow it at all. By the end my dd was telling me and teaching me about it. I wish that was a clever tactic on my part to see whether she understood and learned from what she read, but honestly, my brain was so foggy I couldn't keep any of the details straight.

 

I'm starting to scare myself. In fact, I am starting to honestly think we'd better be putting the kids in PS next year because how can they have a person with zero brain function teaching them??? :blink: This breaks my heart. All my adult life, I've wanted to be a SAHM to a large family and homeschool and now, I'm there and I can't do it. I suck at it. Big time!:glare: I cry about it all the time because I feel like I'm losing my dream. It's slipping through my fingers and I can't make it stop.

 

I've even had to switch from cloth diapers back to disposable for baby because I wasn't remembering to change the diapers often enough. I just kept being pulled in a hundred different directions all day long. I mean, baby does not sit in disgusting diapers, far from it, but as any of you cloth users know, they simply require changing more often. I usually have to change every 45 min and I just wasn't remembering to. Poor baby. The other day, I went all day without changing my 3yo. It never occurred to me. I'm not typically a negligent mom- I'm about as type A as they come. But not even a schedule can save me because even if I have one written up, I forget where I put it. A few weeks ago, I printed out an ebook for my dd to work through. Two weeks of looking for it every day and I *finally* found it tonight. Ugh!

 

I'm taking high doses (not too high) of fish oil and B vitamins. I eat healthy (when I remember to eat) but I know I'm completely lacking in the sleep dept. I see a naturapath and I know for a fact I don't have candida or parasite issues.

 

Yet, I've turned into the village idiot and it's so embarrassing. I'm forgetting to pay bills (I mean, I remember, but then forget again). A few days ago I was talking to a friend and telling her about this book I'm reading, except all of a sudden I couldn't remember the title or even details from inside. I couldn't remember any details from the one thing I found most interesting. She's really intelligent and I just looked so foolish.

 

I ask people questions about stuff they've told me before (like what do you think of such and such curricula) and I forget details about them that I really ought to know. I'm so mortified when I realize I've asked that person the same question before (because it's obvious from their response that they remember me asking). It's gotten to the point where I'm thinking I need to just avoid everyone and anyone because I'm becoming a laughing stock. I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out. A couple weekends ago I didn't show up to a gathering I was supposed to be at. Didn't even call. Why? Because I forgot. Completely and utterly forgot to call. How rude!

 

And I feel so bad for my kids. Some days are really good and I can think clearer and I'm on my game but those days are few and far between. I mean, I was never a genius, but now I'm just stupid. And I constantly feel like I've failed my kids because I simply can't think. :( I don't have much time to decide between homeschool and PS but I'm thinking that perhaps the decision is no longer mine to make and I need to simply start filling out the paperwork and showing them the bus route. All my hopes and dreams are falling apart right before my eyes and I don't have the brain capacity to do anything about it. :crying: I'm so sad. I love homeschooling but I can't live with know I'm failing my kids. Sure, they sit and do work but honestly, mentally I'm not there. I don't even remember what I did with my kids today. I know we sat at the school table and did math and history but I can't seem to pull anything together like I used to. I'm just glad we're on light summer break for now.

 

I don't even know if this post makes any sense. :willy_nilly: It's a good thing my name is in my signature or I'm sure I'd forget that too.

[Liz CA]

Brain Fog is often a sign that hormones are unbalanced. Have you done a saliva test and also a thyroid test? Your naturopath may recommend those.

Wait and see what solutions he/she suggests before making any drastic decisions about schooling.

You are likely not suffering from a permanent condition. ;)

[plain jane]

Brain Fog is often a sign that hormones are unbalanced. Have you done a saliva test and also a thyroid test? Your naturopath may recommend those.

Wait and see what solutions he/she suggests before making any drastic decisions about schooling.

You are likely not suffering from a permanent condition. ;)

 

Oh my gosh! Funny you should mention that.

 

My naturapath did say that my hormones were out of whack and gave me a supplement to take 2x per day. :lol::lol::lol::lol: I haven't been remembering to. :blink:

[Giraffe]

I know you're seeing a naturapath, but I would recommend you get thee to a doctor and make sure there's nothing else that can be done. It sounds like you're seriously out of whack hormone-wise and might need something more than a supplement.

 

Brain fog is horrible, I know. I've had it off and on for a while. It took a long time to start coming out but once I did I was so much happier. Sleep was most of my problem - and you mentioned it too. Is there anyway to get help so you can get more sleep?

[Hedgehog]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I understand. I've been there. I remember sitting on the floor with my then two preschoolers and just staring blankly at their toys, not knowing how to play with them; forgetting appointments because I kept losing my diary and all the notes I'd made to try and help me remember. It so sucks!

 

In my case, and I'm not saying this is you, but FWIW - it was a combination of three things: my hormones were out of whack, I was chronically sleep deprived, and I was also depressed. None of which I recognised, so I just kept going, living one day at a time, and eventually all three things resolved by themselves. But I do wish I had had someone around who had noticed what was wrong and got me to a doctor or naturopath.

 

:grouphug: to you. Hang in there.

[LaxMom]

Brain Fog is often a sign that hormones are unbalanced. Have you done a saliva test and also a thyroid test? Your naturopath may recommend those.

Wait and see what solutions he/she suggests before making any drastic decisions about schooling.

You are likely not suffering from a permanent condition. ;)

 

Um, yes. That. Thyroid problems postpartum are very common.

 

I attributed brain fog, hair loss, fatigue and a whole host of issues that scream thyroid to having infant twins. (symptoms that are totally attributable to being hormonally imbalance and sleep deprived with a little one -or two - too!) It took me six years and a profound bout of fatigue to wake up and realize my twins were no longer infants and this was NOT normal.

[elegantlion]

Jane, you know I love you right? :grouphug: However, I think you need to set some boundaries for yourself as you work on your physical issues and finding your center.

 

I know you love research and you want what it best for your dc. I would stop for a period of time. I know, why not just suck all the oxygen out of the room, right? I get a little twitchy just typing that myself. Utilize what you have, which I know you have some GREAT stuff. Don't buy the Suzanne Strauss Art books or the Oxford books, save them for later if necessary, or don't buy at all. You can homeschool without them.

 

As we've been unpacking books I find myself asking why I have five books on the same subject? Do I really need to cover the subject from THAT many perspectives. I had that dilemma as I'm planning history for next year. Finally I sat down and said I want these three books as the spine, everything else is supplemental. We won't read them all. What I thought would take all day took two hours because I set some boundaries.

 

When I scale back on the mountains I feel the need to climb, those hazy days aren't as bad. You have little kids, they will grow older and more independent, I promise. The world will not implode if you use disposable diapers.

 

Make a daily list. Don't make it 50 items long, make it 5 or 10. I try to separate household, school, personal, and writing goals. When I'm floundering my list may look like Household: clean litter box, feed pets, feed people, school: TRY to finish everything on the schedule, personal: nap, Writing goals: tomorrow....

 

Even Superwomen are just regular people when they are out of uniform. :D

 

Sounds like you are finding some solutions for the physical stuff, don't beat yourself up over having to scale back in other things while those heal.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Another vote to have your thyroid checked. From what I've read, a certain time after having a baby is a risk factor for thyroid problems.

 

Another possibliity is sleep apnea. I know a lot of women (myself included) who put off all their symptoms because of children.

[Chris in VA]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I understand. I've been there. I remember sitting on the floor with my then two preschoolers and just staring blankly at their toys, not knowing how to play with them; forgetting appointments because I kept losing my diary and all the notes I'd made to try and help me remember. It so sucks!

 

In my case, and I'm not saying this is you, but FWIW - it was a combination of three things: my hormones were out of whack, I was chronically sleep deprived, and I was also depressed. None of which I recognised, so I just kept going, living one day at a time, and eventually all three things resolved by themselves. But I do wish I had had someone around who had noticed what was wrong and got me to a doctor or naturopath.

 

:grouphug: to you. Hang in there.

 

This was my first thought, too--a hard combo to live with! I think sleep is your first priority, and some organization. I'd also see the Dr, but I'd try getting more sleep, first.

Can you hire someone, just for a couple of months, to help you out? Let you take a nap in the afternoon, run a couple of loads of laundry, or cook a couple of meals--or even just take the kids out of the house for 2 hours every day?

[Mom0012]

Brain Fog is often a sign that hormones are unbalanced. Have you done a saliva test and also a thyroid test? Your naturopath may recommend those.

Wait and see what solutions he/she suggests before making any drastic decisions about schooling.

You are likely not suffering from a permanent condition. ;)

 

:iagree: My thyroid was just slightly off and it was amazing the difference it made for me. Prior to the thyroid meds, I had left the keys in my car and run the battery down 8 times in two months and that was just the tip of the iceburg.

 

Lisa

[ChristusG]

Definitely have your thyroid checked.

 

After #2, my thyroid went out of whack. Brain fog was among the symptoms. It's crazy! Thankfully, mine went away in about a month without meds. My doctor wanted to give it a little time to readjust.

[Mom in High Heels]

Bless your heart. How old is the baby? Mine is 9 weeks and I swear there are days when I'm happy if I can spell my own name.

You've gotten great advice, so I won't rehash it, but you also need to make sure you're getting enough sleep. Easier said than done, I know, but you can't fire on all cylinders (look at me, making a car reference! It is a car reference, right?) if you haven't had sleep. Get your dh to watch the kids on the weekend or when he's home and go sleep. If you have to hire a sitter for a few hours, I would. Sleep is IMPORTANT! Also, scale back on the school for a bit. When Han Solo first came home, we took a week off, and then went to just the bare minimum on school. Is it what I wanted for the year? No, but sometimes, you just have to let go. Your health and sanity are far more important than covering every event in history or doing every science experiment in the book. What would your kids do if something happened to you because you weren't taking care of yourself? :grouphug:

[unsinkable]

:grouphug:

 

If you were an IRL friend, I'd be taking you to a doctor and showing what you wrote to your DH.

 

It sounds very dangerous to me. What if you forget to turn the stove off? Or forget to put the car in the correct gear? What if you forget to stop at a stop sign?

 

I hope you get the help you need ASAP.

 

:grouphug:

[abbeyej]

Definitely a traditional doc and get your thyroid levels checked. TODAY! Before you forget! ;)

 

I think *some* amount of brain-fogginess after giving birth is within the range of normal, but this is way past that range. There's something else going on and you shouldn't have to try to cope like this -- especially when there is very likely a simple answer that can have you headed back to normal very quickly.

 

Good luck!

[plain jane]

:grouphug:

 

If you were an IRL friend, I'd be taking you to a doctor and showing what you wrote to your DH.

 

It sounds very dangerous to me. What if you forget to turn the stove off? Or forget to put the car in the correct gear? What if you forget to stop at a stop sign?

 

I hope you get the help you need ASAP.

 

:grouphug:

 

My dh does know, I've told him many times. But, as I've posted here, we've just been so swamped and he's been working out of town sometimes.

 

I've done the stove thing already :glare: . I didn't leave it one but I turned on the wrong burner. Ugh. I also once put a plastic bowl above a hot element. Double Ugh. But those were both within 2 weeks of baby being born. I'm much better than that now. :D Honest. :)

 

As for driving, I haven't been going anywhere because I know I'm too tired to drive. I can get into the naturpath on a couple of hours notice so I've gone when I'm rested but I've also cancelled when I was not.

 

My doc charges for cancellations :glare: and it takes several days to even get in because she only works part time.

[plain jane]

Jane, you know I love you right? :grouphug: However, I think you need to set some boundaries for yourself as you work on your physical issues and finding your center.

 

I know you love research and you want what it best for your dc. I would stop for a period of time. I know, why not just suck all the oxygen out of the room, right? I get a little twitchy just typing that myself. Utilize what you have, which I know you have some GREAT stuff. Don't buy the Suzanne Strauss Art books or the Oxford books, save them for later if necessary, or don't buy at all. You can homeschool without them.

 

As we've been unpacking books I find myself asking why I have five books on the same subject? Do I really need to cover the subject from THAT many perspectives. I had that dilemma as I'm planning history for next year. Finally I sat down and said I want these three books as the spine, everything else is supplemental. We won't read them all. What I thought would take all day took two hours because I set some boundaries.

 

When I scale back on the mountains I feel the need to climb, those hazy days aren't as bad. You have little kids, they will grow older and more independent, I promise. The world will not implode if you use disposable diapers.

 

Make a daily list. Don't make it 50 items long, make it 5 or 10. I try to separate household, school, personal, and writing goals. When I'm floundering my list may look like Household: clean litter box, feed pets, feed people, school: TRY to finish everything on the schedule, personal: nap, Writing goals: tomorrow....

 

Even Superwomen are just regular people when they are out of uniform. :D

 

Sounds like you are finding some solutions for the physical stuff, don't beat yourself up over having to scale back in other things while those heal.

 

Thanks Paula. I truly get what you're saying. And yes, BTW, we in fact DO need to cover every subject from THAT many perspectives. ;) (kidding!!)

 

Actually, I was looking at the Strauss Art books to simplify my life. I'm supposed to do TOG in the fall and there's no way I can pull that off at the moment. :001_huh: I like the look of the Strauss books because the writing looks engaging, there are chapter questions and even activities. My oldest wants activities with her reading. Even though I already own all the TOG stuff (thankfully, I forget how much I spent on it all ;)), I was telling dh that I don't have the mental capacity to get through TOG. :crying:

 

Thanks for the other advice. I will print this out so I don't forget. :willy_nilly:

[Sushi's Mom]

Jane, Call a friend and ask them to drive you to the regular doctor. That way you will get there and get the tests done.

 

Try really hard to get extra sleep. Ask some of your homeschooling friends to watch your kid's for you for a few hours a day for a week or two. People want to help, you just have to ask. When the kid's are out of the house and it is quiet, just sleep. Nothing else. You really do need to catch up on your sleep. After a few weeks, if sleep deprivation is the problem, you will start to feel better. Then, just make sure you get to bed every night at a reasonable time.

 

Good luck!

[Murphy101]

It's called sleep deprivation.

 

You treat it by

 

Telling everyone to go take a flying flipping leap. (bc people always shrug off sleep deprivation as not worth dealing with)

 

refusing to drive anywhere. Yes. You CAN do that.

 

and insist on taking a nap. Even if it is a one eye open kind of thing bc of other kids. Pop in educational stuff from netflix or PBS and lay down on the sofa if nothing else.

 

Insist on going to bed earlier and do so. Not going to bed and watching tv or reading a book or .. Actually go and turn off the light and lay down.

 

Keep up the prenatals with iron. (side effect of low iron is low appetite, mood swings, fog brain, and exhaustion)

 

I went through that a few years ago. And doing the above for about 2 MONTHS was the only truly effective help.

 

People made me feel guilty and a like a wuss for it too.:glare: but seriously. I was a mess.

 

For some reason our culture does not respect the demands of motherhood. People ignore even the measly 6 weeks of recovery after baby is born. (naps, no driving, and so forth are recommended for good reason, but few mothers do it and our society presumes they won't) And it progresses from there.

 

:grouphug: It's summer. It's the perfect time to recharge as best you can. Do it and you're whole family will be better off for it.

[unsinkable]

My dh does know, I've told him many times. But, as I've posted here, we've just been so swamped and he's been working out of town sometimes.

 

I've done the stove thing already :glare: . I didn't leave it one but I turned on the wrong burner. Ugh. I also once put a plastic bowl above a hot element. Double Ugh. But those were both within 2 weeks of baby being born. I'm much better than that now. :D Honest. :)

 

As for driving, I haven't been going anywhere because I know I'm too tired to drive. I can get into the naturpath on a couple of hours notice so I've gone when I'm rested but I've also cancelled when I was not.

 

My doc charges for cancellations :glare: and it takes several days to even get in because she only works part time.

 

:grouphug: Tell the receptionist that you want a call from the doc and then tell the doc what you wrote us.

[Anne]

Do you have an IRL friend who would take you to your appointments? I would love to help out a freind that way!! If I lived near you, I would take you!!

 

I agree with the others - talk to your doctor, get some testing, take your supplements and Sleep!!!

 

Anne

[scrapbabe]

These are all symptoms I've struggled with since having my thyroid removed. Definitely have your thyroid checked.

[plain jane]

These are all symptoms I've struggled with since having my thyroid removed. Definitely have your thyroid checked.

 

I'm going to as soon as I can get in. I'm thinking it's sleep deprivation though. I was trying to call my doctor (busy signal) and walked into a door while trying to get back to the kitchen. :001_huh:

[plain jane]

Do you have an IRL friend who would take you to your appointments? I would love to help out a freind that way!! If I lived near you, I would take you!!

 

I agree with the others - talk to your doctor, get some testing, take your supplements and Sleep!!!

 

Anne

 

No, I don't really have a friend who can take me. Most of my friends have more kids than I do. :001_huh: The ones that have less are just plain busy with their own lives.

 

I called my doc, who is on holidays now. :banghead: I guess I'll just hang out at home and keep things low-key for a while.

[sbgrace]

:grouphug: I agree with all on thyroid (and other) checks. You may need a sleep study though I'm thinking you know you're sleep deprived. You're nursing? How much sleep do you get on a typical night? Any naps?

 

Someone could die if you don't get sleep. Do you have family who could help? Is your husband home on week-ends and you could mostly sleep? Do you have a church--if so, could an older person help perhaps?

[JudoMom]

:grouphug: Tell the receptionist that you want a call from the doc and then tell the doc what you wrote us.

 

:iagree:

 

You don't have to feel this bad. Really, you don't. :grouphug:

[JudoMom]

No, I don't really have a friend who can take me. Most of my friends have more kids than I do. :001_huh: The ones that have less are just plain busy with their own lives.

 

I called my doc, who is on holidays now. :banghead: I guess I'll just hang out at home and keep things low-key for a while.

 

Is there another doctor you could see? It's just awful to feel how you're feeling. I'll be praying for you, my friend :grouphug:.

[plain jane]

Is there another doctor you could see? It's just awful to feel how you're feeling. I'll be praying for you, my friend :grouphug:.

 

Well I could go back and see the doc whose time I wasted by taking my son in, concerned that he'd contracted Lyme's disease. :glare::001_huh::tongue_smilie: But for some reason, I'm thinking that's not the best place to go. :lol::lol:

[abacus2]

Well I could go back and see the doc whose time I wasted by taking my son in, concerned that he'd contracted Lyme's disease. :glare::001_huh::tongue_smilie: But for some reason, I'm thinking that's not the best place to go. :lol::lol:

 

Request that your doctor mail you an order for thyroid bloodwork. My local hospital has a 24 hour lab I can just walk into with a bloodwork order for what I need. You could have your dh drive you, with kids in the car if needed, to get bloodwork done. Then the doc could call you in some medicine to start if needed even if you have to wait longer for an appointment. Your symptoms could also easily be sleep deprivation. Sleep is a real, physical need and missing sleep consistently in large amounts can really mess a person up.

[Heather in WI]

If you were an IRL friend, I'd be taking you to a doctor and showing what you wrote to your DH.

 

I hope you get the help you need ASAP.

 

 

Oh, Jane! I just want to :grouphug: you! Please, please get to a regular doctor asap. Have a friend or church member or coop member or neighbor drive you if you have to. Print out your post (and maybe a few other recent ones and e-mail it (them) to your doctor ahead of time so they know exactly what's going on and you don't freeze or forget what you want to say. I'm worried about you!

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[venusmom]

I totally agree with what several have already said....you definitely might consider a doc along with the naturopath. Your thyroid or other things could cause stuff that needs attention. Hormones are nuts after childbirthing - and I know people don't like to talk about it - but postpartum depression can take on very different appearances and can last longer for some people than for others. Also - sleep and organization are great suggestions if everything else is fine - I know it's hard to get sleep - my 6 year old has yet to sleep through the night & after 5 older sibs that slept good - I'm really feeling my years because she walks the has always been a night owl and still rarely doesn't wake up sometime between midnight & 2am. But try - somewhere to get some sleep - even if you have to find someone to come hang out with the kiddos and log 2 hours - shut the blinds, turn on a soft noise like a fan - and get some rest. (I say this tongue in cheek - I'm a horrible over-doer and I lack sleep all the time - but it catches up with you and the next thing you know you spend 1/2 the day looking for car keys, the book you just had, a pencil and your cup of coffee!) But - be sure to see the doc - you really need to take good care of you.:grouphug:

[NancyNellen]

Check your iron levels, as well. I had chronic brain fog while I was anemic.