Is this rude?

[dakarimom5]

My house has become the hang-out for the neighborhood kids. This is fine, except when they come here when their parents leave or I have sent everyone home for the day and they come back when they see my children out back :glare:

 

I have been thinking about putting up a sign, red light green light kinda thing, in my front window. My DH says this is rude. I say, that since I will be schooling during the summer it will nip any interuptions in the bud. He says I should just answer the door and say our children can't play. I say if I do that everytime a child comes it will take minimum 30 minutes out of our day. Plus, there are times that I don't want children here but I do want my children to play out back so I can cook or whatever. My children shouldn't have to stay in the house because we don't want company and I shouldn't have to explain why I don't want company to the neighbor kids.

 

So please, can you smart mamas tell me your opinions or give me some other options.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I don't think it is rude at all. If you are kind and polite about how you word it, they will learn to respect your time. We had a system with our neighbors because we had some kids who would come over every 15 minutes to ask if my kids could play. While I loved this little boy, my kids were pretty much done concentrating if the doorbell rang.

 

Ask your dh how much work he would get done if someone came by every 15 minutes to ask if he wanted to go to lunch?

[RanchGirl]

When I pictured a large stoplight in the front window, I did think that sounded a little... not rude but abrupt? But a small sign by the doorbell that says "school in progress, no interruptions please" would not be rude IMO.

 

You could also ignore the doorbell but that might get really annoying if the children are quite persistent.

[Guest mom2kaydncoltn2s]

I don't think it's rude. I think it's a great idea! I mean if you just chat about it with the neighbors and explain your reasons I'm sure it will be a hit. You can re-iterate that you love having the other kids come to play but some times just aren't good for you guys and this allows for them to know that at a glance and without interrupting your schooling.

[Anita in NC]

I would put a note on the door.

 

"Sorry, we're busy right now. Check back after 4 p.m."

 

Or whatever.

 

You could hang a little chalk board or mini white board so you could change the message easily.

[myfatherslily]

That or something similar would probably be a great solution. My nieces and nephews (who live next door) are at my door 25 times a day, so I get it:) Love 'em to death and I'm glad to let my children play, but standing on my deck making silly faces through my window while we're having lunch, for example, is definitely a time when I send them home;)

 

With adults, you can just tell them and normal adults will understand that "not right now" also means "not in 15 minutes either." Kids don't get that. A sign of some sort would be helpful, I think.

[Beyondthe3rs]

I did just that at our last house. Ater putting up with the interruptions and trying to nicely turn the kids away when it wasn't convenient, I made a sign. One side had a green light and said "We would love to have guests!" and the other side had a stop sign and said, "We are not available to play right now."

 

We had to explain how it worked to the neighboring kids and had to remind everyone again after it had been up about a month. Once they understood, they were pretty good about following our guidelines.

 

The best part for me was that it kept me from resenting the neighbor kids. Even if we weren't having school, if I didn't want to host them, I would put the stop sign up. It took training my own kids to understand that they had to respect the sign as well. They couldn't ask if their friends could come in and play unless the green light was up.

 

It was a perfect solution for us. The kids I was dealing with were between 10 and 12 years old. If they had been much younger, I don't know if it would have worked.

[anissa]

Our signal has been a closed garage door. Don't bother us if the door is down. Of course this works only in the nice weather. When we aren't busy with school, the kids are outside. Maybe you could find a more subtle signal and if that doesn't work, your husband may see that drastic times call for drastic action. Also, I have learned NOT to feed or water the neighbor kids....they'll never leave.

[AvasMom]

I looooove the red light green light! I think it's great!

[myfunnybunch]

I think it's a great idea. Simple, easy to see from the street. :)

 

Cat

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I made a sign for my neighbor to hang on his door for my kids. One side was a stop sign and the other side was a smiley face. He hung it on the inside of his door so my kids couldn't turn it around! My 2 and the neighbor's son all have autism or asperger's and this was the best way to keep everyone from bugging each other.

[Unicorn.]

I think it's a great idea. Simple, easy to see from the street. :)

 

Cat

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Abbeygirlsouth]

:iagree:

[Ellie]

I don't think it falls into the rude/not-rude category.

 

Your home doesn't have to be the drop-off zone for everyone in the neighborhood, for goodness' sake.

 

I think your idea sounds like a perfectly good one.

 

If your dh thinks it's rude, let him spend the day at home answering the door and see if he changes his mind.

[Oak Knoll Mom]

When I was growing up, my cousins lived in a neighborhood where an older couple used a green flag strung up a flag pole to let the neighbor kids know when they could come swimming. When that flag went up, you should have seen the flurry of activity as everyone grabbed their towels and bikes and headed over. :D

[dcurry]

When I pictured a large stoplight in the front window, I did think that sounded a little... not rude but abrupt? But a small sign by the doorbell that says "school in progress, no interruptions please" would not be rude IMO.

 

:iagree:

 

I wouldn't use a chalkboard or whiteboard... it would be awfully tempting for young children to change the message for you. :)

 

Even a stoplight by the doorbell that you could have your kids tell their friends about seems acceptable to me. (Green- I can play, Red- I can't play right now).

[~Tara~]

I think it's perfectly fine. A former pastor's wife did this at their home several years ago. Their kids were grown yet their house was the popular place because he would go out and play b-ball with everyone. The problem came when they were having private family events and kids would come because they saw folks outside. She just made up the sign, told the kids about it when they were around the first week or so and left it in the front window. The kids quickly caught on and stayed away when the sign was red. No hurt feelings or anything. It was all good ;)

 

It gave the family their private family time but kept that door open to their community as the kids knew they were more than welcomed when the sign was green.

[Abigail4476]

Nope, I don't think it's rude. I think a little sign is perfectly fine. "School in session; please do not disturb until after 4 p.m." :001_smile:

 

The backyard playtime is a little trickier, since they can apparently see your kids from the street or from their houses. You probably need to coach your kids to say something like, "I'm sorry, but we can't have friends over right now."

 

Just wondering--is there a reason why you don't want your kids playing with other kids when they have free time? I don't care who mine play with when they're outside--they still have to come in when I call, and anyone who's outside has to then go home.

[*lifeoftheparty*]

I saw once, where people had a pool and they got tired of parents dropping kids off to swim for the entire day, without even calling first....

 

They ended up putting up a cute, summer themed flag outside the house and let people know that when the flag was up, they were open to company.... when it wasn't out, leave them alone.

[nicurn]

We had the same problem when we lived on a military post. I was trying to school and it seemed like the doorbell always rang. If it wasn't kids ringing the bell, it was UPS, or someone else. What I did was I laminated a big sign that could be seen from the sidewalk in front of our house. It said "SCHOOL IN PROGRESS PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB!" It cut down tremendously on the amount of interference in my day. Most people will understand. I think a stop sign or a red-light green-light would work great as well.

[FairProspects]

Just wondering--is there a reason why you don't want your kids playing with other kids when they have free time? I don't care who mine play with when they're outside--they still have to come in when I call, and anyone who's outside has to then go home.

 

I cant speak for the OP, but for us, there is one child in our neighborhood who has some behavior issues (both at home and at school - he is well-known by both Principals), and of course my kids think he is the greatest, funniest thing ever and want to be just like him, so I try to limit our contact. Also, most of the kids in our neighborhood are young enough to require supervision and I just don't want to be responsible for everyone else's kids all the time. We live on a busy road, and its too much work to have to drop everything I'm doing and watch all the kids on the block to make sure they stay safe.

 

I love the red light/green light sign idea, I'm going to have to use that.

[dakarimom5]

Nope, I don't think it's rude. I think a little sign is perfectly fine. "School in session; please do not disturb until after 4 p.m." :001_smile:

 

The backyard playtime is a little trickier, since they can apparently see your kids from the street or from their houses. You probably need to coach your kids to say something like, "I'm sorry, but we can't have friends over right now."

 

Just wondering--is there a reason why you don't want your kids playing with other kids when they have free time? I don't care who mine play with when they're outside--they still have to come in when I call, and anyone who's outside has to then go home.

Let me clarify a few things....

 

Most of the children in the neighborhood are across the street. Since I have very large windows in the front of my house I thought a big sign that could be seen from across the street would be best...especially since some parents feel its ok for their 3yo to cross the street by themselves.:glare: Also, some of these children can't read yet or don't speak English so I thought red and green lights would be easier to understand.

 

As for my children playing in the back yard..I sometimes send them outside to run around and let off some of their energy for about 10 minutes if they are especially wiggly in class;) It is much easier to get my crew back in if their aren't children hanging over the fence trying to play. And sometimes we are outside doing class and nothing will get done if I have other children here.

[dakarimom5]

I cant speak for the OP, but for us, there is one child in our neighborhood who has some behavior issues (both at home and at school - he is well-known by both Principals), and of course my kids think he is the greatest, funniest thing ever and want to be just like him, so I try to limit our contact. Also, most of the kids in our neighborhood are young enough to require supervision and I just don't want to be responsible for everyone else's kids all the time. We live on a busy road, and its too much work to have to drop everything I'm doing and watch all the kids on the block to make sure they stay safe.

 

I love the red light/green light sign idea, I'm going to have to use that.

 

 

:iagree:Or my favorite at the moment is people that go shopping while their children are here. I have tried to send many children home only to have them come back because no one is home at their house:glare: My other favorite is children that show up before 8am or while I am trying to feed my children and then are offended when I won't feed them too!:confused:

[rootsnwings]

I think that's a super cute idea!! :)

[Gooblink]

I don't think it's rude at all. Especially when homeschooling, you have to set some boundaries. It'd be like anyone working from home and having to deal with constant interruptions. A "Do Not Disturb" sign works for me. :)

[justamouse]

If we're in the middle of school, no one goes anywhere.

 

Just set a time, between the hours of ___ and ___ they can't play, just like you can't play because you're at school. I'll send them out when they can, and you're welcome back here if you want.

 

:grouphug:

[littleWMN]

I had the same red light, green light idea for our house too. My kids love playing with the neighborhood kids but sometimes it does take over our lives and I'd prefer my kids to play with each other once in awhile. Or like OP said, just send them out for 20 minutes or something. You can't see our backyard from the neighbors' houses but the kids must have radar or something b/c they show up in minutes once my kids are outside. When we are gone, they run up before I'm even in the garage. We had a problem too where they were playing in our backyard when we weren't home. I wasn't comfortable with someone getting hurt or something out there and there not being an adult around. We ended up putting up locks b/c they didn't respect our rules. :(

 

Anyway, I also have one child with special needs and she attends public school and needs some down time outside without other kids around.

 

DH says we should just make a hard and fast rule for this summer that our kids can't play (with the neighbor kids) until 2pm every day. I'd rather do green light/red light because I know there will be days where I don't mind and others that I do. But not sure if they will respect it or not (ignoring doesn't work, the can see in our house and are persistent). One in particular will keep coming back 10 minutes later.

 

Anyway, I definitely don't think it's rude.

[Alicia64]

not rude at all.

 

I put a sign on our front door that says, "we can play at such-and-such hour."

 

Alley

[Tarreymere]

I have a large sign in the window closest to the door. I put it up at first to ward off my lazy daughters from dropping by to drop off various grandkids for me to babysit (since I was home anyway and not 'really' busy :001_huh:) But it works great for the neighborhood kids too.

[Margo out of lurking]

Growing up, we had neighbors who flew a red or green flag to indicate when neighborhood kids were welcome. They had a pool, and a green flag meant that anyone could come over to swim. At the time, I never thought of the mom as "nice," but looking back, my opinion has certainly changed. It was easy, even several doors away, to see the flag, instead of going all the way over to their house to look for a smaller sign.

[meena]

We have a homeschooling family that lives next door to us. They play outside after lunch and usually come over to ask if my kids can play. Our break time doesn't always coincide with theirs, though. So, to lessen the interruptions I have a sign that we hang on the door when we are schooling. It says: "School in session. Please do not disturb." They have been very respectful the sign, so it has worked very well for us.

 

As a bonus it also helps lessen interruptions from other adult neighbors, delivery people, etc.

[EthiopianFood]

I think it's a great idea. Simple, easy to see from the street. :)

 

Cat

 

:iagree: Kids can handle, and APPRECIATE, directness so much better than adults, without reading into it. It is one of their best traits, IMO. :)

[kolamum]

Nope, it's not rude.. many mamma's do it. I think, for a while Family Fun even had something about it in their magazine complete with a pattern for making it.

[Shannon in TN]

Also, I have learned NOT to feed or water the neighbor kids....they'll never leave.

 

:lol:

 

I don't really have the problem of kids coming over (since there aren't any, really, where we live) but I love the idea of a sign. I'll be tucking that idea away for future use.