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Calling atheists and agnostics: question from my kids


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I like the term atheist, but not for the shock value. I recently had a nice PM conversation with someone on the board about this. I would love to see the term become a normal, not shocking, description. After all, I'm just telling people I'm a non-theist.

 

I think Sam Harris is right, but in the U.S. at least, people are often identified by their beliefs. I'd love to be able to tell people I'm an atheist and have them not even blink. And I think (or hope) the more the word is used, the more acceptable it will become.

 

I agree with this. I still feel a shame in admitting I am an atheist, but I shouldn't. It really has such a negative connotation, but I honestly feel that I'm not an evil person. :)

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I agree with this. I still feel a shame in admitting I am an atheist, but I shouldn't. It really has such a negative connotation, but I honestly feel that I'm not an evil person. :)

 

Y'know, I read these comments over and over and over on this board and it still seems so weird to me. The only place I would feel I ought to keep mum about being an atheist is in a bible study group. And you can imagine how often I find myself there.

 

Would "ya'll" like Australia to come and invade? :tongue_smilie:

 

Rosie

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I am thankful to my husband for his commitment and hard work as a Sailor, husband, father, son, brother, nephew, uncle, cousin, grandson, etc.

I am thankful to the farmers who grow our food, and the harvesters (sometimes they are different people), the people involved in packaging and transporting our food, the stockers who stock the store shelves working such a hard shift (my husband did this before we were married). I am thankful to so many people for so many things it's impossible to even list them all here, much less thank all those individuals that I'll never have contact with. It's not that there is no one to thank, it's just that we aren't always able to direct our thanks to the source.

 

We actually thank each other on Thanksgiving. We each thank all the others for something they did that year. (My 4 year old just thanked me for the current food on his plate, but at least he tried. :))

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Y'know, I read these comments over and over and over on this board and it still seems so weird to me. The only place I would feel I ought to keep mum about being an atheist is in a bible study group. And you can imagine how often I find myself there.

 

 

I didn't think people who KNEW me and who I saw frequently would really think differently about me if they knew I was agnostic, but apparently some do. One neighbor about had a heart attack, and then must've spoken to her 9 year old about it (who was BFF with Thing 1 before they moved), because I listened to Neighbor Boy tell Thing 1 that NB didn't need to fear the lake of fire because he had Jesus in his heart, but he didn't know what was going to happen to Thing 1 because Thing 1 didn't have Jesus in his heart, and NB didn't want Thing 1 to burn up in a lake of fire... At which point I shouted "Let's play the license plate game! Who can find all the letters of the alphabet?!" (we were in the car, driving to the zoo).

 

It's great to find out that your neighbors have told their children that you're going to burn in a lake of fire. Even if you firmly believe that's true, I really find it odd (from a child psychology point of view as well as others) that you would tell your child that his best friend is going to burn up some day.

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Oh, and we've never stated it outright to older family members. DH's grandmother leads and attends various Bible study groups, has taught herself some ancient Greek to be better able to understand things in their original texts, etc. While I don't think she would think less of us, I don't think it's worth telling her. Maybe it's a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of thing.

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Y'know, I read these comments over and over and over on this board and it still seems so weird to me. The only place I would feel I ought to keep mum about being an atheist is in a bible study group.

 

Quick story to illustrate. I don't self-identify as an athiest primarily because I still have one foot in the Catholic camp, but I'm as agnostic as they come. Anyway, when my oldest was 14, she responded to an ad on our local homeschooling board looking for a babysitter. The mom told me she wanted a homeschooled teenager specifically because her last babysitter turned out to be athiest (read tone of shock and horror). I didn't know quite what to say to that so I let the silence drag a bit. She began to stammer..."And you know how it is. I didn't want her to influence my children." Because you know how athiests evangelize.

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Quick story to illustrate. I don't self-identify as an athiest primarily because I still have one foot in the Catholic camp, but I'm as agnostic as they come. Anyway, when my oldest was 14, she responded to an ad on our local homeschooling board looking for a babysitter. The mom told me she wanted a homeschooled teenager specifically because her last babysitter turned out to be athiest (read tone of shock and horror). I didn't know quite what to say to that so I let the silence drag a bit. She began to stammer..."And you know how it is. I didn't want her to influence my children." Because you know how athiests evangelize.

 

Oh, that is hilarious!

 

I feel for you over there- we just don't have the same huge fundamentalist Christian movement here so its quite "normal" and mainstream to not be Christian at all- there is no stigma attached to it in general Australian culture. The fundamentalists are the ones who tend to stand out- in my world, anyway- but now I am not homeschooling I just don't come across them.

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Love the story, Barb!

When we interviewed to rent this house, the owner was very happy to hear that we homeschooled, as to her that meant we were "a good Christian family." I told dh not to tell her, when he met her, that you didn't have to be Christian to homeschool. Yet, it sure gave him the role he was to play for the in-person interview. :lol:

 

WendyK,

In the same way that I don't believe all Christians believe/practice their faith the same way, I don't lump all atheists and agnostics together. There was a recent thread asking your favorite color. We are all humans, and many have a preference of a favorite color. To me, this is a simple gathering of information, not meant to declare that "homeschoolers prefer the color yellow." (Disclaimer: I didn't read that thread.)

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Y'know, I read these comments over and over and over on this board and it still seems so weird to me. The only place I would feel I ought to keep mum about being an atheist is in a bible study group. And you can imagine how often I find myself there.

 

Would "ya'll" like Australia to come and invade? :tongue_smilie:

 

Rosie

 

I have just about the same story as amey311. When my oldest dd was about 10, a neighbor child told her straight out that my dd was going to hell, and then proceeded to vividly describe it. It was not a pretty situation.

 

Another similar situation with my youngest dd. When she was in 5th grade, we had put her into public school per her request. The main reason we took her out only 2 months later was that several girls in the class were telling everyone my dd was going to hell because she didn't believe in God.

 

We can't escape it here!

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What would atheist evangelizing even look like???

 

There's nothing there! There's nothing there!! :001_tt2:

 

You'd sound like a total nutter.

 

Maybe we could distribute little cards with this on them.

 

 

a-the-ism

[ey-thee-iz-uhm]

a lack of belief in the existence of God or gods

 

That is the entire meaning of atheism.

 

 

 

Atheism is not a religion, it is not a belief system.

Atheism is nothing sinister, and nothing to fear.

When it comes to Zeus, we are all atheists.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I won't link to the source because it will surely offend some. If you really want to know where I found it, PM me.

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Because you know how athiests evangelize.

 

I think about this whenever I hear religious people claim this happens. How many times have I had an atheist ring my doorbell to convince me not to believe in God, right when I got the kids to sleep? None. How many times have people from churches done that (or left pamphlets which blow off the door and mess up my yard...)? Too many to count.

 

(I also make the same argument about the so-called "gay agenda").

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Y'know, I read these comments over and over and over on this board and it still seems so weird to me. The only place I would feel I ought to keep mum about being an atheist is in a bible study group.

 

I'd cynically say: your kids are young - wait until you start needing to find them friends in the homeschooling world. We really don't discuss beliefs much in our house, not because I don't have very strong beliefs, but because I am not sure I can expect my dd10 to self-censor or "self-edit" sufficiently to keep her "safe" in the homeschool world. Sounds a bit dramatic, I know, but I am honestly not entirely sure that she would not be ostracised by some children (whose parents right now think she's a lovely influence) if she came right out and said we were atheists. Or she might become the target of direct conversion attempts, which would be very distracting in the middle of her soccer game.

 

I never suggest to anyone that I believe anything that I don't, but I know when to smile and keep my mouth shut. I suspect that many religious people can overlook obvious atheism as long as its not vocalised. But perhaps I'm being unfair, and the people who speak openly of their religion to me in the face of my silence really don't care what I believe.

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I have just about the same story as amey311. When my oldest dd was about 10, a neighbor child told her straight out that my dd was going to hell, and then proceeded to vividly describe it. It was not a pretty situation.

 

Another similar situation with my youngest dd. When she was in 5th grade, we had put her into public school per her request. The main reason we took her out only 2 months later was that several girls in the class were telling everyone my dd was going to hell because she didn't believe in God.

 

We can't escape it here!

 

This sort of thing is sorta kinda why I am afraid to move (but I'm really not). I like to stay in my own little corner of freezing/heathen MA/New England. :D I think we learned a lot from the Puritans...:lol:

Edited by LibraryLover
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I think about this whenever I hear religious people claim this happens. How many times have I had an atheist ring my doorbell to convince me not to believe in God, right when I got the kids to sleep? None. How many times have people from churches done that (or left pamphlets which blow off the door and mess up my yard...)? Too many to count.

 

(I also make the same argument about the so-called "gay agenda").

 

And how about those gay atheists? Now they are really scary! ;):D

Edited by Mejane
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Oh, that is hilarious!

 

I feel for you over there- we just don't have the same huge fundamentalist Christian movement here so its quite "normal" and mainstream to not be Christian at all- there is no stigma attached to it in general Australian culture. The fundamentalists are the ones who tend to stand out- in my world, anyway- but now I am not homeschooling I just don't come across them.

 

You know, I'd ask Rosie or yourself to adopt us. But I just watched a documentary on Australian snakes, and I'm skeered. :lol:

 

I've been trying to find a homeschool group around here. The only one is religious and when I talked to them 5 years ago (when I was still Jewish, nonetheless), they told me I'd have to sign a form declaring Jesus as my savior. :001_huh:

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http://ffrf.org/publications/nontracts/

 

Just sayin'. I've never heard or seen of anyone handing these out. I just thought it was funny. Almost makes me want to keep some on hand for the 3 times a week we're visited by people going door to door...

 

Oh my goodness! These are excellent, and I may just do that. I had one woman actually stick her head into my house to check the door frame and then announce "Oh good, you're CHristian. I learned to check for those little Jewish things on the door. Here's some information about our church and our upcoming Easter activities. Thanks!" and then she was off like a shot. I was so dumbstruck that it took me a minute to inventory all the many things that were wrong with that conversation, because, well, WHOA.

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http://ffrf.org/publications/nontracts/

 

Just sayin'. I've never heard or seen of anyone handing these out. I just thought it was funny. Almost makes me want to keep some on hand for the 3 times a week we're visited by people going door to door...

 

 

My funny story about those tracts:

 

In my first marriage (Yep, I'm on number 2 and going straight to you know where... lol) we lived next door to a Xtian sect that must get extra credit for bringing people to their faith. It's a faith that even if I had the slighest interest in Jesus, I'd have ZERO interest in this one because I fundamentally believe that women are well, EQUAL.

 

Anyway, every fracking Friday, they'd stop by with the end times tracts. And every fracking Friday, I'd tell them no thanks. Every. Single. One. Ack.

 

We had a very defensive Rottie at the time. And despite my "no trespassing" and "no soliciting" and "beware of dog" signs all over the place AND my obviously very upset 150 pound Rottie; up my long dirt driveway they'd come. :001_huh:

 

We kept our Rottie outside on a lead during the day. So I lengthened it by about 3 feet one Thursday. It wasn't enough that he could reach the deck stairs but he could reach the corner. I also reinforced the line and Friday went out to get some groceries.

 

I came home to what looked like 40,000 of those tracts spread all over the driveway, deck, and yard. It took YEARS for them to dissolve in the tall grasses and everytime ex-DH and I came across them, we'd laugh and laugh. For some reason, they never came back and we started ignoring each other at the mailbox. It was awesome!

 

And to this day I look for that dog to be at my side when someone walks up to me and says, "Have you heard the good news?" :D

 

The most ironic part of the story is that my ex ILs thought this other family was going to hell for what they believed and the neighbors thought we were going to hell for what we believed. And now I think it's all bunkola.

Edited by Jennifer3141
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I now tell people "I'm not religious". That oddly satisfies people and freaks them out less.

 

I do that, too. It seems to keep the "I'll pray for you"s down to a minimum.

 

:001_huh: I never thought of this. You are both brilliant. Homeschooling and not attending church seem to require a lot of prayers for me from those around me.

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I'd cynically say: your kids are young - wait until you start needing to find them friends in the homeschooling world.

 

We've been involved in a couple of homeschooling playgroup situations and this hasn't been a problem yet. I don't expect it to be unless I'm forced to move to east Gippsland. But I'll find out :) I know there are pockets of it, but nowhere I'm likely to live.

 

Rosie

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