jld Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 anyone have a dh who is firmly behind homeschooling, even when you're tired, even when you doubt yourself, even when you're ready to throw in the towel? Do you feel like he's your biggest cheerleader, or like you accidently agreed to something you're not sure you could ever get out of now, lol? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I wouldn't say my husband "won't let me stop" homeschooling, because he's a reasonable and supportive guy. In fact, when our son wanted to expore the possibility of applying to our county's performing arts high school magnet program, my husband was right there with us, taking our son to the open house and asking questions and taking notes. With that said, he has made it clear he does believe homeschooling is best for out kids, a position he took after I talked him into letting us give it a try. He is my most enthusuastic cheerleader and my support system. He has "talked me down off the ledge" many, many times when I was ready to throw in the towel and march one of the kids down the block to the closest public school. He realizes, though, that I am the one who actually has to do this work. And, if I really, really didn't feel I could do it anymore or if I believed in my heart that it just wasn't right for this particular kid, I know he would back that decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 My dh has listened to me scream that I want to quit on many occasions, but he always gently talks me through my angst and points me back in the right direction. He is the calm, steady voice of reason here.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 My dh is like this. Everytime I mention the possibility of the kids going to school in the future, he points out why homeschooling is better. He is more committed to long term homeschooling than I am but he does none of the work so I might be more committed under those circumstances as well. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 It was my dh's idea to homeschool and I laughed at him. He was on the school board and came home one night insisting that our then four year old would never go to school there. I couldn't believe it, I subbed at that school and figured I'd work there when our kids were all there. But he convinced me and he was right. After the first couple of months I was on board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 My dh was always adamant that we homeschool, even when I was struggling. Finally, last September, I looked at him and said, "They are going to school. You have to back me up on this. I will not do this anymore." He didn't like it, but realized I was very serious. It was just after some various situations with my 9yo, so he was able to look past what he wanted to what was best for us all. This is the same man who is now supportive of me bringing them home again if that is what I want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 My DH was reluctant to the idea at first, but now that he's convinced that we should try it, I know he's not going to let me back out of it lightly. I really need that kind of firm encouragement sometimes, but if I really got to where I couldn't handle it, he would support my need to put them in PS. But I can't see that happening... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Well, it's not cut and dry over here. I could quit anytime I want, but the only alternative is sending the kids to our local PS which I am not a big fan of past kindergarten. So I can quit, but there's nowhere to send them that I'd be okay with. We can't get them into the charter school because it's full and we can't afford the private schools. So..... essentially it's home school them or nothing. Or wait another year until DD3 starts school and I have to get a job to pay for private school. I'm not a big fan of that option either. So it looks like we're gonna be a HSing family for a very long time.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 My husband knows me well enough to know that if my heart wasn't in it, it wouldn't work. He also knows he can't make me do anything I don't want to do. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 Dh told me he wanted us to homeschool the first week we were dating, and hasn't wavered. His belief in homeschooling is as deep as his belief in breastfeeding. I am glad he is so committed, as I can say whatever I want to, at any time, with any degree of emotion, and he will listen and say, "You're doing a great job!" And then I just have to pick myself up and keep going, whatever doubts may be in my mind. You know, sometimes I think it's good not to have an escape clause. It can force us to find a way to get through the hard times without quitting. I realize there are plenty of people for whom homeschooling is not a good idea, but I also think there are people for whom it is, but maybe don't know it. Sometimes we don't realize what we can do until we're forced to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 He also knows he can't make me do anything I don't want to do. ;) Really? I've done lots of things for my husband that I haven't wanted to do. Like moving to France and India. :) Doing something that I don't necessarily feel like doing, but am persuaded is the right thing to do, usually works out well for me. The wise course of action isn't necessarily easy or comfortable, at least not at first. But if we do it anyway, we'll likely reap the benefits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 anyone have a dh who is firmly behind homeschooling, even when you're tired, even when you doubt yourself, even when you're ready to throw in the towel? Do you feel like he's your biggest cheerleader, or like you accidently agreed to something you're not sure you could ever get out of now, lol? DH is super-supportive. :001_tt1: However, if I ever decided it was not working (not gonna happen) he would not question my decision. One of the reason hsing works so well for us is because dh is helpful and lets me know he appreciates what I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Really? I've done lots of things for my husband that I haven't wanted to do. Like moving to France and India. :) Really. He would tell you it's one of the main reasons he married me. His mom was a sap and he hated that she never stood up for herself. After 25 years, he might say it's just possible he went a bit too far in the opposite direction, though. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted February 23, 2011 Author Share Posted February 23, 2011 Lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 My husband wouldn't let me quit. My kids would go back to private school if I flatly refused to homeschool. It does make me feel a bit trapped at times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 anyone have a dh who is firmly behind homeschooling, even when you're tired, even when you doubt yourself, even when you're ready to throw in the towel? Do you feel like he's your biggest cheerleader, or like you accidently agreed to something you're not sure you could ever get out of now, lol? Yes, my dh is firmly pro-homeschool. He is also a bit of an unschool supporter, but I am not. LOL. There have been many times that i have just had it and wanted to stop, but he was a no go....I am glad he has supported this aspect of our life and family. He is a pretty smart guy. :001_smile: Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 Yes, my dh is firmly pro-homeschool. He is also a bit of an unschool supporter, but I am not. LOL. There have been many times that i have just had it and wanted to stop, but he was a no go....I am glad he has supported this aspect of our life and family. He is a pretty smart guy. :001_smile: Faithe Yes, he is!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 anyone have a dh who is firmly behind homeschooling, even when you're tired, even when you doubt yourself, even when you're ready to throw in the towel? Do you feel like he's your biggest cheerleader, or like you accidently agreed to something you're not sure you could ever get out of now, lol? Yes, it happened here. Dh valued homeschooling very highly (once initially converted) and used to tell ds how lucky he was and how bad school was. Trouble was, as last year wore on I just lost my spark for homeschooling and I am sure it is because it was time to finish it and move the kids on their next stage. THe kids were fine about it- it was dh I had to convince! He supported me through many meltdowns where I just couldn't see how I could possibly convince, bribe, threaten, cajole, beg my son to work any more. I knew it wasnt working- but because dh saw us in the schoolroom all day, he felt I was over reacting. Eventually, after breaking down several times over the year and saying I couldnt homeschool anymore, and dh propping me back up, trying to put things in place to support me, to discipline ds etc- I had to tell dh NO, REALLY, I MEAN IT- IT IS TIME FOR HIM TO GO TO SCHOOL. He was quite shocked and I dont think he had honestly entertained the idea seriously. After all, I was so seriously, obsessively committed to it for 7 years. But he came around- ds was fine about it and is doing well and enjoying school. Although i was committed to homeschooling- I am more deeply committed to doing what feels right for my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 Yes, it happened here. Dh valued homeschooling very highly (once initially converted) and used to tell ds how lucky he was and how bad school was. Trouble was, as last year wore on I just lost my spark for homeschooling and I am sure it is because it was time to finish it and move the kids on their next stage. THe kids were fine about it- it was dh I had to convince! He supported me through many meltdowns where I just couldn't see how I could possibly convince, bribe, threaten, cajole, beg my son to work any more. I knew it wasnt working- but because dh saw us in the schoolroom all day, he felt I was over reacting. Eventually, after breaking down several times over the year and saying I couldnt homeschool anymore, and dh propping me back up, trying to put things in place to support me, to discipline ds etc- I had to tell dh NO, REALLY, I MEAN IT- IT IS TIME FOR HIM TO GO TO SCHOOL. He was quite shocked and I dont think he had honestly entertained the idea seriously. After all, I was so seriously, obsessively committed to it for 7 years. But he came around- ds was fine about it and is doing well and enjoying school. Although i was committed to homeschooling- I am more deeply committed to doing what feels right for my kids. Sounds good, Peela.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serendipity Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 YES. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 anyone have a dh who is firmly behind homeschooling, even when you're tired, even when you doubt yourself, even when you're ready to throw in the towel? Do you feel like he's your biggest cheerleader, or like you accidently agreed to something you're not sure you could ever get out of now, lol? He's my biggest cheerleader and realistically is more committed to HS'ing for the long run than I am but I know that if I reached a point where I wanted to work fulltime or I just needed to stop, he wouldn't fight too much.... In actuality, if I went back to work fulltime he would probably hire another tech for our company and do the homeschooling himself (although I would have to do all the lesson planning, much like I do now when he "subs" for me). Either way, once the kids hit high school age I see them doing a lot of dual credit college courses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Okay, I didn't really mean "let you" literally. I certainly believe in egalitarian marriage. What I really meant was "give his blessing", lol. Like many moms here, I seek to live in harmony with dh, and he with me. I wouldn't go against his wishes without a good reason, and he wouldn't go against mine, either. Just thought I better clear that up. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'd say we're both equally committed. When I'm down about it and feel frustrated, he encourages me. When he has his doubts, I encourage him. We're very committed. Other options and alternatives here are just not good. Not good at all. No school system is perfect, but we're doing the best we can. We know that this is right for us and that we have far more vested interest in their education than anyone else does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 anyone have a dh who is firmly behind homeschooling, even when you're tired, even when you doubt yourself, even when you're ready to throw in the towel? Do you feel like he's your biggest cheerleader, or like you accidently agreed to something you're not sure you could ever get out of now, lol? My dh would pitch an fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 No, if I had a bad day and said I am quitting he would just roll with it. He has no emotional investment in homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 I'd say we're both equally committed. When I'm down about it and feel frustrated, he encourages me. When he has his doubts, I encourage him. We're very committed. Other options and alternatives here are just not good. Not good at all. No school system is perfect, but we're doing the best we can. We know that this is right for us and that we have far more vested interest in their education than anyone else does. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyR Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 My husband is my biggest cheerleader, and he does help from time to time too. Mostly when it comes to discipline, history and on occasion math. He was very against letting my girls try private school but I convinced him last year. After the year we had I believe he knew what was best in the end. He is still a stark supporter of homeschooling. It really is best for our kids. The private school is getting expensive and only goes up to the 6th grade now. The public school is totally out of the question. So once your child is out of 6th grade its either homeschool or the high school and that's it. We don't have charter schools , or magnet schools or anything else because our district doesn't like competition and its the worst ranking school in the county. So honestly I love the cheerleading. It does remind me of why I started homeschooling in the first place, and after having them in a really good private school I know that homeschooling is still the best. My 13 yr old told me last year they didn't have English class! What????? Did a little bit of science and history. All that money down the drain. Now she is busily catching up from learning she missed last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 I don't have time to read all the responses, but I wanted to quickly comment. My husband isn't really excited about homeschooling. He agreed to this year and then we will discuss. I do think he is coming around though. I am very firm in my wish to homeschool. I feel like God led me to this decision. That said, it should be a joint decision between both parents. You should have a big say in the decision because you are doing most or all of the work. If you are just burned out, but truly feel like homeschooling is the best decision for your family, his support and urging you to continue would be appreciated. Maybe he could help you out with some of the work. Maybe he could teach a couple of classes on his days off. If your heart is just not in it and you don't think that this is something you want or feel is necessary to continue, I think you really need to sit down with him and have a serious talk. Maybe you can pray together about it. I would write the reasons why you homeschool and see if those still apply. If they do, then I would sit down with him and make a plan that you can live with. HUGS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercy_Me Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 anyone have a dh who is firmly behind homeschooling, even when you're tired, even when you doubt yourself, even when you're ready to throw in the towel? Do you feel like he's your biggest cheerleader, or like you accidently agreed to something you're not sure you could ever get out of now, lol? "Won't let me"....that's funny. Really...If he were to demand me to ....oh, I am getting ill thinking about it. :D In all seriousness, though...if he DEMANDED they be home schooled and refused to be open about it in any way, HE would be the one home schooling them. Somehow, though, I don't think that's what you mean...Maybe he just really wants it, you're a little freaked out by it and just maybe feeling a bit guilty about it. If that's the case, I think we have all been there at some point.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 My dh said that if I don't want to or get tired of it or we have too many problems he will send me back to work and do the homeschooling and he is serious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 I wanted to homeschool before I was even married. Dh was on the fence but agreed as long as it "didn't hurt the kids". Then after five years of homeschooling, I was headed into invalid territory again. I couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth when I told dh that I thought it was time to put the kids into ps even though the school year had already started. But I was even more shocked when dh said, "No, the kids are doing fine academically. They could stand to have a break while you focus solely on your health." It was November. I took time off and was going to doctors almost daily for awhile getting tests and treatments. A couple of things were identified and I started to get better. It was in January when dh said "Um, are you going to start homeschooling them again?":lol: I do think that if treatment hadn't worked or if the kids hadn't been doing well in their work, we would have come up with another way of handling it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 well, I continued on for 2 years more than I should have because dh wanted me to. They were the worst 2 years of my life, and the lives of my kids, I believe! Because of my experience, I wouldn't do it if I felt I needed a break and was burnt out. I just couldn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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