Is there a reason my teen boy should shave?

[stripe]

No it doesn't. A boy ought to learn to wet-shave with a razor. It is a rite-of-passage into manhood.

It has to be a double-edged straight razor in order to be manly. The sort that look like this.

[Haiku]

GIt is a rite-of-passage into manhood.

 

That reminds me of those "moon parties" that moms are "supposed" to give their girls as a "rite of passage" when they get their periods. Something about learning to celebrate their womanhood or something. :confused: I'm almost 40 and have had my period for a long time. I don't celebrate it. It's a pain in the butt. A guy should shave with whatever implement he considers most convenient and effective. Or not shave. Whatevs (to borrow from a good WTM/irl friend). :)

 

Tara

[stephanier.1765]

I think the scraggly stuff that grows when it first comes in looks dirty. It drives me batty on my own kids and I have requested that the 14yo start shaving. So far he's not having any of it. :tongue_smilie:

[Harriet Vane]

This is not a battle worth having. It's not a tattoo or tongue piercing. Let him decide what he'd like to do and tell those with audible opinions that it's really none of their business.

[Murphy101]

That reminds me of those "moon parties" that moms are "supposed" to give their girls as a "rite of passage" when they get their periods. Something about learning to celebrate their womanhood or something. :confused: I'm almost 40 and have had my period for a long time. I don't celebrate it. It's a pain in the butt. A guy should shave with whatever implement he considers most convenient and effective. Or not shave. Whatevs (to borrow from a good WTM/irl friend). :)

 

Tara

 

I agree and so does my dh, who btw said telling a guy what to shave with to be more manly is kind of like telling a gal what type period protection she should use to be more womanly.

 

You. Just. Don't. Go. There.

 

It's a very personal choice thing.

[Crissy]

That reminds me of those "moon parties" that moms are "supposed" to give their girls as a "rite of passage" when they get their periods.

 

:ack2:

 

A guy should shave with whatever implement he considers most convenient and effective.

 

:iagree:

Being a gentleman has nothing to do with a man's choice of shaving tools.

[Haiku]

period protection

 

Sadly, I know people who would be up in arms about you using the word "protection" because it implies negativity about periods. :glare: Geez, I use the thing I have found that makes it most like I don't have my period at all, and I routinely tell my dh how much I love it because it's like I don't have my period at all! The IUD I used to have rocked because I truly didn't have my period at all! And I was chastised for celebrating that fact. :001_huh:

 

Tara

[Mejane]

 

I think the current fad of men walking around with at least a day's worth of scruffy beard (Dr. House, for example) is just gauche.

 

House, oh my. ;)

 

I love a scruffy-looking guy. My husband looks very nice in his suit when he goes to meetings, but put him in some ripped jeans, workboots and a two-day growth of beard, and... well.

[Spy Car]

Some boys can't. I've known some that break out terribly from wet shaving (even though I prefer it as it's what my stepdad, brother, and husband all do).

 

What I miss seeing is the shaving cream in the mug that you mix with a brush...and the razors that you insert in some old contraption of a razor. However, my husband HAS to have the five blades. The only blades that really work on him.

 

One has to know their own face. If it takes 5 blades, so be it. But there is something about learning to build lather with a brush and how to wet-shave properly with a real blade (if tolerated) that ties a boy into masculine traditions. It is like learning to drive a "stick-shift." One might purchase an automatic (though I never would) but one at least out to know how.

 

Bill (currently using a 1960 Gillette Fat Boy)

[Spy Car]

It has to be a double-edged straight razor in order to be manly. The sort that look like this.

 

No. One could also use a straight razor and be "manly." :D

 

But better to have experience with a double-edge (DE) first. The cartridge systems like Mach III and Fusion with canned foam can give very good fast and easy shaves. But they do not teach a young man how to shave properly as they require no technique. They are virtual "fool-proof." There is no "mindfulness" required for cartridge shaving. A DE is a very different experience.

 

Bill

Edited January 11, 2011 by Spy Car

[Spy Car]

Being a gentleman has nothing to do with a man's choice of shaving tools.

 

True.

 

Knowing how to tie various knots (and why and when to use each) when wearing a tie, or how to polish and care for good shoes, or knowing how to shave do not make a young man a gentleman. But they are things a young gentleman should know and learn, along with how to treat others with respect.

 

Bill

[elegantlion]

Good idea. Where possible this should be the "mens department." Fathers ought to teach sons about manly ways (if at all possible).

 

 

 

No it doesn't. A boy ought to learn to wet-shave with a razor. It is a rite-of-passage into manhood.

 

Bill

 

:ack2:

 

 

 

:iagree:

Being a gentleman has nothing to do with a man's choice of shaving tools.

 

True.

 

Knowing how to tie various knots (and why and when to use each) when wearing a tie, or how to polish and care for good shoes, or knowing how to shave do not make a young man a gentleman. But they are things a young gentleman should know and learn, along with how to treat others with respect.

 

Bill

 

 

To learn about shaving and other manly behaviors I like to sneak into The Art of Manliness every once in a while, but then I usually defer to dh to do the teaching.

[mommaduck]

True.

 

Knowing how to tie various knots (and why and when to use each) when wearing a tie, or how to polish and care for good shoes, or knowing how to shave do not make a young man a gentleman. But they are things a young gentleman should know and learn, along with how to treat others with respect.

 

Bill

It all depends on what world you live in. Different knots on ties are not necessary here. Just being able to tie a tie and be done is enough. The line of work my boys are intending don't require ties, except the occasional. My husband lives in t-shirts, flannel shirts, and blue jeans. He's VERY much a gentleman. Being a gentleman isn't always about how you look, but how you behave and treat others. I've seen excellently dressed men that weren't true gentlemen. I've seen bikers that were wonderful gentlemen.

 

On razors, it's a matter of preference and tolerance ;) Same with feminine products :)

[msk]

Personally, I would hesitate to mention the words "old fashioned razor" at all unless you won't mind your son being in the bathroom approximately FOREVER. My husband is a recent convert to that method, and now spends much, much more time in the bathroom than I do. And always at the precise time in the morning when the "big" kid is spilling cereal and milk everywhere and the baby is scampering gleefully about pulling everything out of the pantry and kitchen drawers and sticking half of it into the dog's mouth, or so it seems...

 

Tara (and any like-minded people with similarly odd-minded friends), you should read the Connie Willis story "Even the Queen" (I found it in a short story collection called "Impossible Things"). It's about that very debate and is one of the :lol: funniest things I read last year. I love it.

 

ETA: I just googled and found it online, albeit in a somewhat odd format: http://ebookbrowse.com/willis-connie-even-the-queen-pdf-d11522181

Edited January 11, 2011 by msk

[Spy Car]

Personally, I would hesitate to mention the words "old fashioned razor" at all unless you won't mind your son being in the bathroom approximately FOREVER. My husband is a recent convert to that method, and now spends much, much more time in the bathroom than I do.

 

You are doomed :D

 

Your husband (am am certain) will teach any son of his how to do a wet-shave :001_smile:

 

Bill

[KidsHappen]

House, oh my. ;)

 

I love a scruffy-looking guy. My husband looks very nice in his suit when he goes to meetings, but put him in some ripped jeans, workboots and a two-day growth of beard, and... well.

 

 

I am all for the scruffy look as well. My hubby was a sailor and he has been through all the various types of facial hair. I prefer the three day growth but he prefers to be clean shaven so just about the time I am thinking, "Oh my, he is starting to look good!" he goes and shaves.

 

He has gone to a barber for a professional straight edge shave and he says there is nothing like it but it is one of those things I absolutely fail to understand. I am sure men think the same thing about pedicures.

 

I remember my dad using a lather mug, brush and DE razor when I was a child. I think my mom may have used a DE razor when I was young as well. I think that was all there used to be.

[Spy Car]

To learn about shaving and other manly behaviors I like to sneak into The Art of Manliness every once in a while, but then I usually defer to dh to do the teaching.

 

There are some fantastic articles on this website. Thank you!

 

This is a nice one on restoring vintage razors (a very good thing to do) and links to one on "shaving like grandpa" that I'm off to read.

 

http://artofmanliness.com/2010/08/19/how-to-buy-and-restore-vintage-shaving-gear/

 

Bill

[msk]

Yep, The Art of Manliness was where my husband got it. Heavy sigh. Thanks for the warning Spy Car, thank goodness we have girls.

[Spy Car]

Yep, The Art of Manliness was where my husband got it. Heavy sigh. Thanks for the warning Spy Car, thank goodness we have girls.

 

When a guy rediscovers wet-shaving in a big way, not even the ladies are safe :D

 

Has he offered to shave your legs yet? :tongue_smilie:

 

Bill

[stripe]

No. One could also use a straight razor and be "manly." :D

 

But better to have experience with a double-edge (DE) first. The cartridge systems like Mach III and Fusion with canned foam can give very good fast and easy shaves. But they do not teach a young man how to shave properly as they require no technique. They are virtual "fool-proof." There is no "mindfulness" required for cartridge shaving. A DE is a very different experience.

 

Bill

Cartridge systems are for girly men. Foam is for girly men. You have completely misunderstood me.

 

I mean, a man + a blade. No handles, foam, or other rubbish. A little piece of sharp metal is all a real man needs.

 

That is what requires technique. Not something put out by a shaving company.

 

A multipurpose tool (i.e. a razor blade) which can open boxes, strip paint from windows, and cut hair.

[Spy Car]

To learn about shaving and other manly behaviors I like to sneak into The Art of Manliness every once in a while, but then I usually defer to dh to do the teaching.

 

The shaving like grand-pa article is really good too. I might quibble on the recommended blades (there are better than the suggested) but otherwise a very fine article!

 

Bill

Edited January 11, 2011 by Spy Car
Quibble, not quinoa. Drat iPad "auto-correction" at times.

[Spy Car]

Cartridge systems are for girly men. Foam is for girly men. You have completely misunderstood me.

 

I mean, a man + a blade. No handles, foam, or other rubbish. A little piece of sharp metal is all a real man needs.

 

That is what requires technique. Not something put out by a shaving company.

 

A multipurpose tool (i.e. a razor blade) which can open boxes, strip paint from windows, and cut hair.

 

Lather (not foam) is helpful, but there are men who can shave with oil or water alone as a lubricant. And one can certainly shave with with a sharp metal blade (as with a straight edge).

 

It don't think it is "girly" to use a cartridge. It is not the same experience. A DE shave or one with a straight requires focus and attention and is something that is soul-stirring with many men (and I include myself here). There are times when a cartridge shave is convenient and serviceable. But is is nothing like feeling a single blade on ones face.

 

Bill

[elegantlion]

When a guy rediscovers wet-shaving in a big way, not even the ladies are safe :D

 

Has he offered to shave your legs yet? :tongue_smilie:

 

Bill

 

Oh. :blush: That could be kind of sexy. ...Off to send links to my dh. :lol:

[Spy Car]

Oh. :blush: That could be kind of sexy. ...Off to send links to my dh. :lol:

 

:D

 

Bill

[ondreeuh]

Um ... I really don't like the look of facial hair on a teenager. Something about adult hair on a baby face is just disconcerting (and any pimples amplify that tenfold). I realize this isn't fair, but when I see a teen boy with an pubescent mustache I assume either the boy has poor hygiene or his parents don't teach him how to groom himself.

 

My dh couldn't grow a decent mustache/goatee until his 30s, and before then it just looked terrible. It's still awful if he tries to grow one now. In my opinion, the only mustaches that look OK are the fully developed one like my own father has.

[MarinesWife]

My husband didn't have to start shaving until he was made to do so each morning at Marine boot camp. Then the hair STARTED coming in!

[stripe]

Um ... I really don't like the look of facial hair on a teenager. Something about adult hair on a baby face is just disconcerting

Couldn't you say the same about breasts on a 10 year old's chest? Isn't that sort of the bottom line of adolescence -- disconcerting things happening all around?

 

But is is nothing like feeling a single blade on ones face.

Or neck. :001_huh:

[Haiku]

Something about adult hair on a baby face is just disconcerting

 

If I were a teenaged boy struggling with all the changes going on in my body and emotions, I would find that attitude disconcerting, to say the least. I'm not intentionally trying to slam you, but in general all the "newly growing hair on an adolescent boy's face is unattractive and should be excised" posts in this thread make me feel sorry for boys. :(

 

Tara

[Danestress]

If I were a teenaged boy struggling with all the changes going on in my body and emotions, I would find that attitude disconcerting, to say the least. I'm not intentionally trying to slam you, but in general all the "newly growing hair on an adolescent boy's face is unattractive and should be excised" posts in this thread make me feel sorry for boys. :(

 

Tara

 

Boys can shave - not a big deal. Why should it be sad to read that some people think their facial hair is unattractive? Perhaps others think it is great (though probably few).

 

My boys are at an age where they need deodorant. Otherwise their smell is .... unattractive. It's just part of growing up. It comes with learning to drive, having babes stop and stare at you, getting a cell phone, and going to pg-13 movies. On the whole, I think my boys like being teenagers.

 

Their little mustaches are unpleasant in the minds of many. They can shave them or not, but they can't change that people tend to not like the way they look. This is just part of adult life, and it's probably partly cultural. I wasn't sad when I figured out that as a girl, that I needed to shave my underarm hair if I wanted to fit in best in my culture. I was happy to do it. I don't think my boys are at all sad to shave. I think they sort of like it. If they didn't like it, I would not make them do it, but I don't see the point in having a pity party because the world has cultural ideals of beauty that you can easily meet with 10 minutes a week of maintenance work.

[Haiku]

I don't see the point in having a pity party

 

I'm not having a pity party. I just think the attitude that "your body is changing and it's unattractive" is sad. It's not about whether people like facial hair in general.

 

ETA: I missed the word "their" in your comment about why people would think it's sad that teenage boys' facial hair is unattractive. I guess it's not sad that people have that opinion. But the idea that a parent would force their son to shave because they think so is sad. Because that is basically telling a kid, "the normal changes your body is going through are bad" and, imo, reinforces the idea that gawky teenagers are yucky.

 

Tara

Edited January 11, 2011 by TaraTheLiberator

[Murphy101]

Couldn't you say the same about breasts on a 10 year old's chest? Isn't that sort of the bottom line of adolescence -- disconcerting things happening all around?

 

That was my thought. Geez. I think acne is ugly, but I don't think badly of teens with it or think they should be required to smear chemicals and so forth to get rid of it.

 

Only in home school fundy circles do I come across people with the opinion that a teen looking like a teen is somehow a sign of being tacky or unhygienic.:001_huh:

Edited January 11, 2011 by Martha

[Murphy101]

I'm not having a pity party. I just think the attitude that "your body is changing and it's unattractive" is sad. It's not about whether people like facial hair in general.

 

Tara

 

Yes. It's not immodest or unhygienic or unprofessional. So what other people think is attractive doesn't really matter. More to the point, I'm pretty sure whether my mil finds my dh's beard attractive or not is not the female opinion he gives a flip about.;)

[Danestress]

I'm not having a pity party. I just think the attitude that "your body is changing and it's unattractive" is sad. It's not about whether people like facial hair in general.

 

Tara

 

I really did not mean to imply that you are having a pity party. I'm sorry - I can see how you would think I was being insulting, but I wasn't trying to be. I was trying to say that I don't think it's particularly sad for my boys, and I would not indulge a lot of moping around about it.

[Danestress]

I don't care what kinds of chemicals you use, it is hard to treat acne. A wispy mustache is a choice for most people. It's not hard or expensive to treat, again, for most people. I know there are exceptions, but when my boys' little mustaches start to appear, it's a five minute fix.

[Haiku]

Ok, and I edited my post to explain myself further while you were posting. :)

 

Tara

[Danestress]

I's not a matter of hygiene, and it's not a hill I would ever die on. No way would I force a son to shave. But I do think a certain amount of what a boy does is rooted, as you say, in "female opinion." I think the reality is simply that most women of any age will not find the wispy beginnings of a mustache attractive on a 12 year old.

 

I think that's why my boys shave uncomplainingly. They know that almost no girls or women are going to find it attractive until it really comes in full force. My older son sported the "mountain man" look in college, and a certain population of girls really liked that look. Actually, I liked it on him. He liked it on him. But he would tell his brothers to shave their facial hair until it's more impressive. If anything about this is sad to his brothers, I don't think it's that "My emerging manhood is ugly." I think the sad thing for them would be, "It's not enough. God, make it thicker and more manly." Until it's thick, I think they will shave it.

Edited January 11, 2011 by Danestress

[Murphy101]

I don't care what kinds of chemicals you use, it is hard to treat acne. A wispy mustache is a choice for most people. It's not hard or expensive to treat, again, for most people. I know there are exceptions, but when my boys' little mustaches start to appear, it's a five minute fix.

 

But there isn't anything broken that needs fixed?:001_huh:

 

ETA: I have no idea why there is an angry smiley on my post. I didn't intend to put it there. Sorry. I rally don't feel that strongly about boys shaving! :)

[Danestress]

But there isn't anything broken that needs fixed?:001_huh:

 

ETA: I have no idea why there is an angry smiley on my post. I didn't intend to put it there. Sorry. I rally don't feel that strongly about boys shaving! :)

 

We are getting awfully worked up over shaving:) I know you aren't really mad about this issue!

 

As for whether anything is broken, I don't have a daughter. And I don't have facial hair myself. If I had a daughter with facial hair, I think I would want to talk to her about it and encourage her to remove it, even though nothing is "broken." I guess it's the same with my sons. During this stage when they just have shadows of the facial hair they will have, I encourage them to remove it because I think most people, including myself, find it unattractive. I certainly wouldn't insist on it. Nothing is broken. I just think most of us want to be attractive and take easy, reasonable steps to appear well groomed and attractive. I don't paint my nails, even, so I am not someone inclined to make attractiveness a major priority.

[parias1126]

Every once in a while my husband gets some wild hair up his ... anyway, he shaves about once a year. I *hate* it. He looks like a little kid and it makes me feel kinda dirty. ;)

 

He's finally decided not to shave anymore and let the beard get a little ZZ Top-ish. Luckily he works in an industry where that (and visible tattoos) are not unexpected. (And yes, he has a professional, white-collar job.) I'm still working on getting him to get hoops in his ears. :D

 

And yes, I realize that quite a few WTM-ers are now gasping in horror about how unprofessional and irresponsible and what a bad influence my dh is. ;)

 

Tara

 

Love this! You go girl ! :lol::lol::lol::tongue_smilie:

[MangoMama]

If he's old enough to grow it, then he's old enough to choose whether or not to keep it ;)

 

This. :001_smile:

[LauraGB]

If he's old enough to grow it, then he's old enough to choose whether or not to keep it ;)

 

Yes.

 

When dd was 9-ish, her leg hair was thick, so she she shaved it. Big deal. One either likes it or they don't; they are comfortable with it or not. I suppose the attitude is likely primarily cultural.

 

I think it's often looked at as a right of passage at this age. Does he want to? Then he should. Does he not care to? Well, then he should probably wait until he does.

 

Regarding my own ds, I think he'd like to shave Right Now, but he doesn't have anything worth cutting his face to bits over :lol:.

[LauraGB]

I told my dh about this thread, and he didn't like the pic I posted. He said the beard looks way better now, and he took a pic and emailed it to me. Here's dh about five minutes ago, at work.

 

Tara

 

Ah, but your dh can grow a full beard *and* he looks good in it! My dh can, too, and honestly, while I don't prefer it in general, I do like it on him because he looks good in it (but, I would also prefer he took care of it, trimmed it, etc, rather than use it as a reason not to take care of it). A full, well groomed bunch of facial hair is not typical of a 13 year old boy :tongue_smilie:.

 

I do think it's important for young men to learn early on how to groom themselves so that when they are adults they can decide how exactly to wear it so that it fits their personality.

[stripe]

I think the reality is simply that most women of any age will not find the wispy beginnings of a mustache attractive on a 12 year old.

If I were the mother of a 12 year old boy, I think I would not want most women of any age to find him attractive. Sounds a bit creepy, frankly.

 

Just like I don't think the opinion of most men of any age on protruding n.pples should be relevant about whether a 10-12 year old newly developing girl should be wearing a bra.

 

A full, well groomed bunch of facial hair is not typical of a 13 year old boy :tongue_smilie:.

 

I have yet to see a 12 year old boy with a full beard. I assume Tara's husband is older than 13.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

In my home, I would say that it's his face and he can wear it how he wants, but must accept the reality that most people find a young man's emerging mustache quite unattractive.

 

 

:confused: I've never in my life heard this sentiment.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

House, oh my. ;)

 

I love a scruffy-looking guy. My husband looks very nice in his suit when he goes to meetings, but put him in some ripped jeans, workboots and a two-day growth of beard, and... well.

 

.....I know....I know....brownchickenbrowncow :tongue_smilie:

[LauraGB]

 

 

I have yet to see a 12 year old boy with a full beard. I assume Tara's husband is older than 13.

 

Naturally. That was my point. An adult man can pull it off, a young man can not. A young man needs to learn the art of grooming so he can decide as an adult how to make it work for him.

[Murphy101]

.....I know....I know....brownchickenbrowncow :tongue_smilie:

 

Ok I keep seeing people refer to brown chicken and cows and finally just now asked dh if he knew what that meant.

 

He set his laptop aside to brake out in a hip gyration while humming a little tune.

 

Who the heck sits at a keyboard and thinks to translate a tune like that to the phrase brown chicken brown cow?!

 

I never would have made that connection.

:smilielol5:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Ok I keep seeing people refer to brown chicken and cows and finally just now asked dh if he knew what that meant.

 

He set his laptop aside to break out in a hip gyration while humming a little tune.

 

Who the heck sits at a keyboard and thinks to translate a tune like that to the phrase brown chicken brown cow?!

 

I never would have made that connection.

:smilielol5:

 

 

I don't even know your husband, but the mental image that evoked was priceless! :lol:

[Ellie]

I guess my dh is unhygienic, because he sports a rockin' full beard! I think he looks awesome!

 

Tara

 

Ps. He does shave his head!!

Beards are kewl. Mustaches are kewl. Stubble...not so much.

[stripe]

Naturally. That was my point. An adult man can pull it off, a young man can not. A young man needs to learn the art of grooming so he can decide as an adult how to make it work for him.

I draw the opposite conclusion. I have never seen a 12 year old with a full beard because I don't think 12 year olds will (in general) be physically capable of having a beard. Only ONE boy I went to high school with actually had anywhere near enough hair to be called a full beard. He was the only one with any facial hair beyond a thin moustache and random chin hairs -- and he was 16+.

 

I've seen many news articles about the phenomenon that girls these days are going through puberty at an earlier age than in other generations, and are physically obviously developed (including height, breasts, and hips, not to mention menstruation, which is not exactly obvious), whereas boys are NOT even growing in height. Even more reason for me to doubt that many of today's 12 year old boys are sporting, or COULD sport, anything more than a lip shadow.

 

I just happened to come across a reference to this group today. Perhaps this is evidence that a beard brings with it all sorts of power. Twelve year old boys, put down that razor! Embrace the potential of your beard, La Barbe.