PinkInTheBlue Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I haven't really thought about this. I guess most of the time gifts are opened at a birthday party when we go. I will say this though; I despise the pressure and discomfort of having to open presents in front of others. I mean really, really don't like it. My husband and I even decided to have our Christmas together privately a couple of days before Christmas partially because of us both feeling this way. For children it's such a time of pressure to be sure they respond properly even if (they are children) it's something they don't care about in the least. :) It's nice as a gift giver to watch them open what you hope they are going to love though. It's just and uncomfortable time of the occasion to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I agree w/ the original poster. I think if someone has gone to the trouble to buy you a gift (because, after all, when you host a party, there should never be any obligation or hope that others will bring you gifts), you should be polite enough to open the gift, acknowledge it, and thank the giver (as well as follow-up w/ a written note later). You should also be just as polite & delighted to see guests who arrive w/out gifts. I think it's great practice for kids in many ways: - How to be gracious when receiving something (that you love, hate, or merely like) - How to be gracious when not receiving something (if someone didn't bring a gift) - How to be gracious when you receive a wide variety of gifts (as many here have mentioned an income discrepancy) - How to be a gracious guest & politely wait for your gift to be opened - How to be a gracious guest & still enjoy seeing not only your gift unwrapped, but also enjoy watching others giving gifts, etc.... - How to be a gracious guest & enjoy the gathering even if you didn't bring a gift (shouldn't feel self-conscious, ....) These are all skills that, imo, are needed as a polite adult. Childhood is a great time to practice them. :001_smile: I agree with this. My kids love being there to see a friend's reaction to the gift--I think they would be disappointed to miss that. They also love seeing the other gifts given. I don't think they would really think to notice a discrepancy. I'm also a stickler (when I'm at the party) about my kids sitting and watching politely while the birthday child opens presents. It drives me nuts when the guests are just running around being crazy while their the birthday kid is opening presents. I also refuse to let me kids play with their toys before the party ends and the guests leave. I made the mistake of letting everyone play with them at the party one year (my son's 2nd), and half the gifts were ruined before the party was even over. :glare: No and there were only 5 or 6 other children present, besides the siblings. They "didn't have time" to open 6 gifts? That takes what, 10 min.? See, this is actually kind of weird to me. Growing up, thank you notes were never sent or received for gifts given during a kid's birthday party. The pizza, cake and ice cream, goody bag, and 2 hours of mini golf or bounce house or whatever was considered enough of a thank you, I guess. We opened gifts at the party rather than later, so that might change things a little bit in regards to sending a note. :iagree:, and I'm pretty sure Emily Post says a thank you note is not necessary when you give a verbal thank you (that is specific to the gift--it has to have been opened). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 See, this is actually kind of weird to me. Growing up, thank you notes were never sent or received for gifts given during a kid's birthday party. The pizza, cake and ice cream, goody bag, and 2 hours of mini golf or bounce house or whatever was considered enough of a thank you, I guess. We opened gifts at the party rather than later, so that might change things a little bit in regards to sending a note. Yeh, I do think that if gifts were opened after the party, a thank you is a must. If anything, just so you know they received it. I know this rarely ever happens, but several years ago my DH's best friend got married and we bought a gift off of their registry and had it sent to their home. Six or so months later, my DH was giving his friend a hard time about not sending a thank you card (because guys can get away with that! :lol: And I had just asked to see how they liked the bowl or whatever it was...) and anyway, they had never received it!! They were probably thinking that WE were rude for not giving them a gift (and DH was a groomsman). :001_smile: So now I am paranoid about that happening and love to receive a thank you card just to ease my mind that the gift made it into the right hands. I also just think it is polite to always send a thank you card, no matter the age of the person receiving the gift. I write them for my children until they are old enough, but I will ask them to help me with words and why they liked the gift. I think it is important for them to be appreciative and properly thank people who take the time to purchase something for them. When DH and I were married our guests were entertained, had lots of food and drink, and were given several favors. But I would never think that was enough thank you for the people who gave us gifts. I guess it is one of those things that is sort of "going out of fashion". Snail mail is more and more rare, and now even an email thank you note is so yesterday. I usually get a text thank you from my BIL and SIL. :glare: But hey, at least I know the box arrived!!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 A lot of parents around here open gifts after the party; I did this myself a couple of times when we were doing the party at a rented venue. When I did that myself, I was trying to de-emphasize the gift aspect, and also trying to keep the money I paid to rent the venue invested in everyone having fun, not staring at my child as he opens gifts. I did learn, quite to my surprise, that some parents think it is rude. I also had at different times a request to not bring gifts at all and a request for gifts to be less than $5. Some parents thought that was wonderful; some thought it was awful. The parents who thought it was awful said it was way harder to find something half-decent that was less than $5. When I said no gifts, some brought them anyway, which made the people who didn't bring gifts feel ashamed. I'm currently debating whether to send thank yous for my son's December birthday, because I lost track of who gave which gift. Most of the gifts were some form of Lego, but I can't parse out which was from whom. I've procrastinated on it, because I'm so worried that I'm going to thank someone for the wrong gift! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Heart Posted January 7, 2011 Author Share Posted January 7, 2011 The one time where we had to leave early my 4 year old ran and grabbed his gift, insisted on presenting and told them, "Please open it before we leave; I picked it out special." There is so much more to a gift than receiving. The act of giving is magical to children. Awww, that is what I'm talking about. That gift represented your child giving a part of himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I agree with you Happy Heart. I think not opening the gifts is just people trying to be pc. I understand if the venue doesn't allow it, but other wise I don't get it. We always open gifts. I don't let kids crowd around or grab gifts, there are rules. My girls love to get up after each gift and hug their friends and say thank you. A birthday party is a celebration of the birthday child. I don't know any kid that wouldn't want to open their gifts. It is the adults that started this rule. I don't even think the kids would notice if someone didn't bring a gift. They're just happy their friends are there. Not opening the gifts takes away some of the celebration, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Heart Posted January 7, 2011 Author Share Posted January 7, 2011 For all of you who think that I am upset for me, you are not understanding that I see the desire of my kids to GIVE and I am feeling for them! Who here would set out their Christmas gifts to their children and have them open them without you being present? Isn't there a joy in giving those gifts and seeing your child receive them? Now, I totally agree, that the reaction isn't always what we want or like and sometimes our kids are burnt out on opening gifts but again, as Stacia has said, these are the graces to be learned. Perhaps teaching these as they grow older is better. These HUGE bday parties are too much for the little ones to handle. I just know that the same friend who didn't open my son's gift and card while at the party, was ecstatic about giving his gift and handmade card to my son at his birthday party. Yes, they wanted to play and do party games but he would have been totally disappointed if we had not taken the time to acknowledge his gift/card. And my son (age 9) spent a lovely time reading each of his 5 friends' cards, commenting on them and spending time looking at their drawings. He opened each gift with great enthusiasm, and thanked each buddy with a hug and we took a photo of that friend and him to send to them with a thank you card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Heart Posted January 7, 2011 Author Share Posted January 7, 2011 I'm also a stickler (when I'm at the party) about my kids sitting and watching politely while the birthday child opens presents. It drives me nuts when the guests are just running around being crazy while their the birthday kid is opening presents. I also refuse to let me kids play with their toys before the party ends and the guests leave. I made the mistake of letting everyone play with them at the party one year (my son's 2nd), and half the gifts were ruined before the party was even over. :glare:QUOTE] :iagree::iagree::iagree: Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 For all of you who think that I am upset for me, you are not understanding that I see the desire of my kids to GIVE and I am feeling for them! Who here would set out their Christmas gifts to their children and have them open them without you being present? Isn't there a joy in giving those gifts and seeing your child receive them? Now, I totally agree, that the reaction isn't always what we want or like and sometimes our kids are burnt out on opening gifts but again, as Stacia has said, these are the graces to be learned. Perhaps teaching these as they grow older is better. These HUGE bday parties are too much for the little ones to handle. I just know that the same friend who didn't open my son's gift and card while at the party, was ecstatic about giving his gift and handmade card to my son at his birthday party. Yes, they wanted to play and do party games but he would have been totally disappointed if we had not taken the time to acknowledge his gift/card. And my son (age 9) spent a lovely time reading each of his 5 friends' cards, commenting on them and spending time looking at their drawings. He opened each gift with great enthusiasm, and thanked each buddy with a hug and we took a photo of that friend and him to send to them with a thank you card. I completely understand all of this, and there is definitely 2 sides to it. I really think for small parties it is the right thing to do, and that both the birthday child and the gift giving child love it. And as a parent, I love to watch my own child opening gifts and (hopefully!) being delighted and thankful. I also hate that we live so far away from all of our family, and can never see their reaction to any gifts that we send. You are right, there is such a joy in giving a gift! It is hard to miss the reaction. I think it is perfectly fine to ask the child's parent if it is OK for your child to actually give the gift and watch them open it (if you are at a party where they are not opening all gifts). Maybe by coming early or staying later...I don't know, I know that sounds odd, and I am only talking about the larger parties with lots of activities that seem to be so popular, and have time limits. I have asked this many times, when we have chosen something really special and cannot stand the idea of not watching the child open it. :D Usually it is someone that we are close to, so it isn't uncomfortable to ask or to stay later. I know that if any parent or child asked me that at a party, I would make sure it would happen. I know that whole paragraph sounds odd, to ask someone to do something that is often expected...but if it is important to you, the hosts should acknowledge that. Maybe it will inspire them to open more and see that it is entertaining for the kids? You never know. My DD's birthday party is next week, and I am happy to be having a smaller party in our home. I am sure she'll be opening gifts. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I'm also a stickler (when I'm at the party) about my kids sitting and watching politely while the birthday child opens presents. It drives me nuts when the guests are just running around being crazy while their the birthday kid is opening presents. I also refuse to let me kids play with their toys before the party ends and the guests leave. I made the mistake of letting everyone play with them at the party one year (my son's 2nd), and half the gifts were ruined before the party was even over. :glare:QUOTE] :iagree::iagree::iagree: Thank you. This actually is a good argument for opening the gifts later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 For all of you who think that I am upset for me, you are not understanding that I see the desire of my kids to GIVE and I am feeling for them! Actually, I think it is you who is not understanding some of the other points. I see yours, and I acknowledge it, but there are some counterpoints as well, and the balance of where to land is not as clearcut as 'my child desires to give and so everything should go my way.' Having hosted a couple of parties where no one brought a gift, and having had a dear friend who truly could never afford anything (but who would plant seedlings to bring as presents sometimes), and having seen kids LOVE one gift to the point where they don't even want to open the rest (rude, but it occasionally happens with some young children), thus hurting the feelings of every other child in the room except that one giver, I can see a case for not opening gifts publicly. And again, some venues don't foster this. I actually find this pretty disappointing, as you do, but I have sought to understand how one could land there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Heart Posted January 7, 2011 Author Share Posted January 7, 2011 This actually is a good argument for opening the gifts later. True, as well. I guess I'm agreeing with the fact that we need to teach our kids how to behave at a party. And I do agree that unwrapping and then actually opening the gifts to play with, can be disastrous. We can't always predict how others will act at our parties and it is something to consider. I did have one child pretty much interfere and spoil much of what was planned for one of my kids' birthdays. That's when we decided to keep our parties to just very close friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Heart Posted January 7, 2011 Author Share Posted January 7, 2011 Actually, I think it is you who is not understanding some of the other points. I see yours, and I acknowledge it, but there are some counterpoints as well, and the balance of where to land is not as clearcut as 'my child desires to give and so everything should go my way. Excuse me? I think you're being a little rough...please go back and read all of my posts regarding this topic. You will see that I have been impartial and have come to understand and agree with many thoughts on this topic. It's been wonderful. Again...the dangers of writing our thoughts, opinions, ideas and conversing in snippets! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Excuse me? I think you're being a little rough...please go back and read all of my posts regarding this topic. You will see that I have been impartial and have come to understand and agree with many thoughts on this topic. It's been wonderful. Again...the dangers of writing our thoughts, opinions, ideas and conversing in snippets! I have read all of your posts, and my post expresses how you seem to me. Maybe it's an inaccurate perception, but it's not the result of not bothering to read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Heart Posted January 7, 2011 Author Share Posted January 7, 2011 Actually, I think it is you who is not understanding some of the other points. I see yours, and I acknowledge it, but there are some counterpoints as well, and the balance of where to land is not as clearcut as 'my child desires to give and so everything should go my way.' QUOTE] Did I not show understanding of some other points? Did I not acknowledge that there are some counterpoints? Did I say that "everything should go my way?" Please explain and I say this with honestly wanting to know as I do not believe that I have conveyed these things in my later posts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I've been to parties like this, and while I don't think it's rude, I do think it's disappointing. My best friend did this once at a party and said there was not enough time to open gifts, but that wasn't the real reason. The real reason is that many of the parents at the party do not know how to control their children. What happens is a crowd of unruly children swarm in front of the birthday child, no one can see what the child is opening or from whom the gift was given (makes it hard for the person keeping the thank you card list) and a few kids demand to "help" the birthday child open gifts. I've been to parties where the birthday child doesn't even get the opportunity to open a lot of his/her own gifts because he/she is too polite to tell her friends "no" when it comes to opening the gifts (especially when the "friends" are guilt-tripping the kid saying they should share). It's pretty bad. Even with both parents trying to keep the herd of children back, it's hard when the parents of the obnoxious children don't intervene. This exact scenario occurred the first year my best friend had a friends party for her daughter. It was awful! She went to a pre-school that imposed this crazy rule that if one child from the class was invited to a party, the parents had to invite all the children. It was held at one of those bounce-house places. My friend did everything she could to hold the kids back. I was trying to help her (AND write the gift list for TY cards) and it was truly insane. On top of that, a bunch of kids kept poking at the cake I made in the lobby before it was wheeled into the party room. I ended up yelling at some of them. Hey, if you're not watching your child and they are doing something they shouldn't that affects me, my children, or someone I care about, I WILL yell at them, and if you get in my face about it after, you'll really wish you hadn't! Anyway, that's why the following year they did presents at home. They've opened presents at the parties in the following years, but even though she's about to turn 8, A LOT of the party kids are totally obnoxious & the parents do NOTHING!!!!!!! None of them try to help open the gifts, but they want to be right there giving the poor kid no space and making it impossible for anyone else to see. I've been to other parties for children that were just as chaotic and awful. It's frustrating as a parent when my kids are often a couple of the only kids NOT allowed to hover over the b-day child. They want to see, and they can't -- though everyone COULD see if the other kids would just SIT DOWN! Can you tell this is one of my greatest pet-peeves :glare:? The best parties I've been to have called the kids up one at a time to give their gifts so they get to see the reaction up close. We did that, and kids STILL crowded around, but it wasn't as bad. So OP, it may not be that the b-day parent was trying to appear rude. She may have had an experience like the one I mentioned & not want to deal with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I haven't experienced the above described madness, rudeness, or jealousy at parties where kids open presents. :confused: I also don't invite a bunch of kids. We stick fairly closely to one child per year of age of the birthday child. More than five kids younger than 7-8 is asking for trouble. :tongue_smilie: My children know to accept their gifts graciously. The guests know that the gifts are for the birthday child. IME, kids, even young ones, are generally happy with their party treats. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I haven't experienced the above described madness, rudeness, or jealousy at parties where kids open presents. :confused: I also don't invite a bunch of kids. We stick fairly closely to one child per year of age of the birthday child. More than five kids younger than 7-8 is asking for trouble. :tongue_smilie: My children know to accept their gifts graciously. The guests know that the gifts are for the birthday child. :iagree: I guess I was assuming that most 'parties' are smaller parties w/ actual, close friends (which is what we do & what most of our friends do). What many have described in this thread is, imo, a melee, not a party. ;) When you have 20 or 30+ kids, it wouldn't make sense to open presents (from a time perspective for one thing, as well as for various other reasons). Of course, not opening gifts based on cultural norms is very understandable too. However, I still think it's lovely to have kids open gifts at their parties (assuming no cultural issues & that it's a party w/ a small-ish # of children, not some huge gathering of friends, sort-of friends, acquaintances, etc...). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 If you fall on the side of "open them at home," can you please, please bring boxes or such to transport the presents? It is truly awful to watch your carefully selected, beautifully wrapped present and handmade card be stuffed into a black garbage bag :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyChelle Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 (edited) I am so thankful to live where we do and have the friends that we do. Presents are always opened one at a time in front of guests. Usually everyone sits and whom ever brought a gift will bring it to the birthday child and sit by them while the card is viewed/read and the gift unwrapped. Then child thanks and hugs the giver and so on. The children giving are just as excited as the receivers. I would not want it any other way. Edited January 8, 2011 by HeyChelle typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadeOrchidSong Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 (edited) I agree that opening gifts can be chaotic. I would have no problem with no gift opening and viewing. Edited January 8, 2011 by aomom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I don't really like this, either. It seems to me not to honor the gifts or the givers. I guess it could make someone feel bad if they didn't bring a gift, but no one is really saying, "Hey, xyz is the only person who didn't get you a gift, honey...." At least I've never seen anything like this. I have noticed that some places give space for the party for a very short time period and then hustle your group out. If you only have an hour or ninety minutes and you're at a place where the kids are trying to play, at a gymnastics place, etc. then it might be that the host is trying to provide the longest time for the kids to have fun, rather than taking time to open gifts out of the limited time provided.... We've tried to avoid places that sell party time for this reason. We don't want our guests to feel rushed out the door before they're ready to leave.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I don't really have a strong opinion either way. I do enjoy seeing people open the gift we have given them though, if they choose to open in front of others. My twins usually do open their gifts at their family party, my grandparents and relatives expect it. I take it as a good opportunity to discuss ahead of time appropriate reactions and for them to work on their manners and social customs :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 This actually is a good argument for opening the gifts later. From my perspective, it's a good argument for teaching my kids manners and for exercising my right as a parent to put the gifts aside as soon as they've been opened for my kid to enjoy later. I like that my kids have learned to respect the property of other people, as well as respecting and participating in their enjoyment, even if it might seem dull for them personally. I do see why people might do it differently, and many of the reasons given are well-meaning, it just isn't my preference. :) I am so thankful to live where we do and have the friends that we do. Presents are always opened one at a time in front of guests. Usually everyone sits and whom ever brought a gift will bring it to the birthday child and sit by them while the card is viewed/read and the gift unwrapped. Then child thanks and hugs the giver and so on. The children giving are just as excited as the receivers. I would not want it any other way. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbaby Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I have never been to a party where the gifts were not opened there. I have also never seen the birthday kid act anything less than appreciative for each gift, regardless of cost/size, etc. I guess I've just been fortunate. The kids always seem so excited to watch their friend open the gift they brought for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RahRah Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I was so perturbed when my son came home from a birthday party to tell me that the Mom just collected the gifts and said they wouldn't be opening them because there wasn't enough time! My reaction, "What? Why not?" This was not the first time I've heard this and I'm just here to voice my opinion that I think it is extremely inconsiderate to not include opening gifts as part of a birthday party. My son/daughter and I spend personal time choosing just the right gifts for their friends. My kids spend time working hard to make a very special card for their friend. I spend my personal time wrapping the gift so it looks attractive. My kids are not only excited to go to a birthday party to do party things but they are excited to give their gift and sometimes more excited to give their card because it is so personalized. These are the things that say, "This is especially for you." This shows their love and care for their friend. Not only that, they would just love to see all of the other gifts given, as well. Why has this very special part of a birthday party been so thoughtlessly excluded? While I totally understand the time and effort you and your child make in finding that special gift and making an incredible card - in the frenzy I often see in opening gifts at a party (the business I own is a venue for birthday parties), the specialness of one gift and card can be totally lost, and often is. IMO, in a quieter environment, where the child can actually spend some time looking at the cards and gifts, and appreciate it more - that's better than the open that, move to that, oh look at that, let's open the next faster pace that happens at parties. Plus as someone else noted, the birthday child is often in the center of a mass of kids all vying to see what they opened - it can be stimulation overload! And as someone else noted - if there might be a big disparity amongst the gifts, sometimes it is better to wait and open the gifts privately so that no child feels badly and no child feels superior due to the circumstance of finances beyond their control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I guess I see much of this tied in with party size and dynamics. I came down on the side of not opening gifts. But if your child had a smaller party where the kids were all comfortable with each other, I can see it would be appropriate. My son had a sleep over with 2 neighbor kids for his birthday last year. Of course he opened the 2 gifts they brought, thanked them graciously, oogled over their art work, and they immediately started playing the board game together as a threesome. This kind of dynamic doesn't work at all in a group of 20 kids where you have little control. It probably depends on the age of the kids how many gifts you could do. I do tend to request "no gifts please" when my kids have wanted bigger parties with more than about 10-12 kids. My kids get plenty of gift opening/observing practice in groups at family gatherings. And other b-day parties for that matter. This party I went to I mentioned above that had about 20 gifts opened, I'm sure neither the parent or the child could tell you who gave them what gift. Cards were strewn everywhere including hand made ones. It was not a pretty scene. In that case, it was too large of a party for a 4 year old IMHO. Everything was tossed into a large garbage bag at the end anyway to take home! I honestly felt like our gift was lost and unappreciated. I do for myself and for my kids set an expectation that you can enjoy making cards and choosing a special gift. But once it leaves your hand, you shouldn't have any expectations about what is going to happen. Everyone is free to open and enjoy at their own discretion and it's good not to take these choices personally. I quietly am annoyed if we don't receive a thank you, but that's not everyone's priority. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 We open gifts at the party, and it's one of my favorite parts. Here are the rules: 1. My son has been coached EXTENSIVELY on how to properly accept a gift. NO MATTER WHAT HE THINKS OF THE GIFT, he knows to say, "Thank you so much!" with enthusiasm. I've seen this in action a number of times, so I know he does it. Even if he already has the toy, he still says, "Thank you so much!" very sincerely. I've taught him that it's the thought that counts and he is thanking them for the thought, if for nothing else. 2. The kids can be as loud as they want. Paper is allowed to fly everywhere. 3. The packaging won't be opened and the toys won't be played with. 4. If a guest is at the party and we say "Thank you" then we do not send thank you cards. (I'm pretty sure that's proper etiquette.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susankenny Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 We've been to several parties where they wait on opening the gifts. I don't mind. No biggie at all. However, if we don't get a goody bag on our way out....well....that's rude!:D A thank-you note is always nice too, especially if they don't open the gift in front of us...this way we know they liked it, etc. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 If the birthday party was here in Central America, it would have been rude to open them in front of everyone at the party. It's just not done that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Well, here is another side to the coin ... DD decided she wanted to have her party at Feed My Starving Children to pack meals. She she sent out invites. Then she remembered that she wanted to give her friends the option of giving a donation to FMSC instead of giving a gift to her. Before we left our house to go pack meals, she opened presents and we forgot that some families has brought stuff to donate instead. It created an awkward moment because they didn't wrap them as presents. We both felt bad because it looked like the other girls didn't bring her gifts. I do wish we had opened them later and sent thank you cards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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