Do You or DH Ever Worry Your Making the Right Choice By Homeschooling?

[mommyto3boys2girls]

I feel this is the right choice but then the other night my DH came home with some papers from a local private school that my father in law had given him. No one really agrees with us for choosing to homeschool but thats fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I did however voice to my DH that I was a little offended about FIL giving the papers. My DH went to this private school and he did really like it but it is VERY expensive and we are on a tight budget with 5 kids!

 

DH said he worries that our kids are not getting the same experiences what the kids in public/private school are getting i.e. gym, art, music, lasting relationships with people you see on a daily basis, group projects, team sports. He worries I am not spending enough time with their work (5 hours 5th grader and 4th grader, 2 hours 1st grader and 1 or so with K)

 

I told him I make sure each day they get LA, reading, math, and we also do history 3 times a week and science 4. I just added time4learning for them to do as well as our other things...mainly CLE.

 

I want what is best for my kids as all of us moms do. But I always feel like I am not doing good enough.

 

Just a little vent but if you have any advice that would be nice too :)

[danivdp]

Hang out with some teachers sometime.....that always reminds me that nobody is perfect, and I'm doing the best I can, which is pretty d@mn good IMO!!!

[6packofun]

Not really. They *aren't* getting the same exact experiences that we had or other kids have and that's a BONUS. All that "necessary" interaction and activity is not all that necessary to us and we love our independence. :)

[Pamela H in Texas]

I worried about it every single step of the way and still do though it's too late to change it now. I would have done the same had I sent them to school.

 

And yes, your kids *will* miss out on some opportunities of school. Of course, if they go to school, they will miss out on other opportunities.

[Night Elf]

It's just too easy to glorify something... grass is greener and all that. Not all kids have great experiences such as lasting friendships (I never saw anyone from high school after the night we got our diplomas in graduation) or group work (I'm not having a great with it in college right now!).

 

Honestly, there is absolutely nothing we think might be better at a school. I'm sure there are things that would be about the same. I'm also sure I'd be trading in one set of problems for another, but my kids are definitely not missing anything.

 

Ask your FIL if he's planning on footing the bill for 5 kids in private school. :tongue_smilie:

 

BTW: about the length of time doing school. If you're truly going to compare the two, please, please take into account all the things that make the comparisons so different. Class size is a huge one. It takes much less time to do a lesson with a class of 1 or 2 than a class of 25. Ask ANY teacher that question! In college, I learned that lesson plans should have about 15 mins. of direct instruction for each daily subject and the rest of the class time was spent in handling the kids. If you're doing 5 hours with a 5th grader, he/she is getting much more quality time than he/she would be getting in school. IMHO.

Edited October 27, 2010 by Night Elf

[phathui5]

Is your father in law offering to pay for five children to go to private school?

[mommyto3boys2girls]

Is your father in law offering to pay for five children to go to private school?

 

nope, so why does he even bother you know.

[Heather in WI]

I don't know. If it were me, I'd take a different approach.

 

I think the biggest mistake I see some women make is to make all homeschooling decisions unilaterally without any input from the children's father. (Note: I'm not talking about when dad could care less here.)

 

My husband had many of the same concerns when we started homeschooling. We worked together to address his concerns. In our case, we began private piano lessons, the local scouting group, and sports through the park and rec department.

 

Maybe you could brainstorm together to come up with ways to meet some of his issues so that you can both be confident that you are giving your children the best education possible.

[MariannNOVA]

We don't worry about our choice, BUT we both are not necessarily convinced that this is what we will do for the long run.

 

I am tired and not really interested in homeschooling for high school. We are attending Open Houses for private schools for dd11 who will enter 7th grade next September. We are trying to put together various scenarios as she wants to attend dh's alma mater - an Ivy league school -- and we cannot afford to be sloppy about what she does in high school - in the classroom and out of the classroom. BUT, we certainly don't have money to spend on a $50k a year high school - so we have to be prudent.

 

So, worry? I'm not sure if that is the right word, but we do want all three of them to have the BEST that they can have, and I am not so sure that is being home with me. Not for social reasons or anything like that -- in fact, that is probably the one area where I KNOW I can do a better job than a brick and mortar school -- it's the academics I'm concerned about.

 

And, if your FIL wants private school that badly, then he should be writing the check imo.

Edited October 27, 2010 by MariannNOVA

[....]

I don't regret it for a second. I spent 12 years in public school. I know ALLL about it. :glare:

 

If you're looking for music, gym, and art...join a co-op! Or a homeschool group! Does anyone offer enrichment classes where you live?

[Mommy22alyns]

I want what is best for my kids as all of us moms do. But I always feel like I am not doing good enough.

 

 

 

 

The bolded part - I think all moms do that too! And unless FIL is offering to foot the bill for the private school, then he needs to quit broadly hinting about it. :glare:

[Amy loves Bud]

I feel this is the right choice but then the other night my DH came home with some papers from a local private school that my father in law had given him. No one really agrees with us for choosing to homeschool but thats fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I did however voice to my DH that I was a little offended about FIL giving the papers. My DH went to this private school and he did really like it but it is VERY expensive and we are on a tight budget with 5 kids!

 

DH said he worries that our kids are not getting the same experiences what the kids in public/private school are getting i.e. gym, art, music, lasting relationships with people you see on a daily basis, group projects, team sports. He worries I am not spending enough time with their work (5 hours 5th grader and 4th grader, 2 hours 1st grader and 1 or so with K)

 

I told him I make sure each day they get LA, reading, math, and we also do history 3 times a week and science 4. I just added time4learning for them to do as well as our other things...mainly CLE.

 

I want what is best for my kids as all of us moms do. But I always feel like I am not doing good enough.

 

Just a little vent but if you have any advice that would be nice too :)

 

Nobody knows what is best for your kids but you two. If you feel like you are doing the right thing, do it with confidence! I think it wise to sit down with your husband and address his concerns one by one. He knows his children and it's important to really dig into his worries because there may be a real deficit in one of those areas. See what areas you can achieve yourself - music lessons, art lessons, karate, etc.

 

To address one, my DS is in PS 6th grade. He spends a total of 4.5 hours in academic classes (1.5 in math, 1.5 in LA, 45 min in science, 45 min in history). The rest of the 8 hour day is consumed with orchestra, pe, lunch and breaks between classes. And when you take the actual instruction time in those 4.5 hours, it's even less. You are hitting the mark there. :001_smile:

 

Good luck!

[prairie rose]

DH said he worries that our kids are not getting the same experiences what the kids in public/private school are getting i.e. gym (when I was in school, gym class was once a week. My kids have more physical activity on a daily basis than any ps kid. They are outside climbing trees and bouncing on the trampoline any time they aren't doing seat work), art (again, I had art class once a week until 5th grade when we didn't have to do art anymore if we didn't want to. My kids have much more and much better art instruction than I ever had), music (This I do worry about a little, I was a band geek/music major. But they are getting music instruction from me but I will have to work to find a band situation for them if any of them want to do band), lasting relationships with people you see on a daily basis (who better to have lasting relationships with than your family? :001_huh: Friends come and go but family will last you a lifetime), group projects (with 5 kids, everything around here is a group project :tongue_smilie:), team sports (Little League, First Start, the Y....). He worries I am not spending enough time with their work (5 hours 5th grader and 4th grader, 2 hours 1st grader and 1 or so with K)

 

I told him I make sure each day they get LA, reading, math, and we also do history 3 times a week and science 4. I just added time4learning for them to do as well as our other things...mainly CLE. (I would have him ask any public or private school teacher how much one on one instruction they give per child. I'm sure you give each of your children 10 times more.)

 

I want what is best for my kids as all of us moms do. But I always feel like I am not doing good enough.

 

Just a little vent but if you have any advice that would be nice too :)

 

Everyone worries they aren't doing enough, especially when their decision to homeschool is under question. ;) Unless FIL is offering to pay for tuition for all 5 kids to go to this excellent private school, I would nod politely and throw away the application when he wasn't around. ;) If he persisted to insist but not pay for the tuition, I would let him know that he had his chance to raise his kids his way, now it's your and dh's turn to do it however you two see fit. :)

[JudoMom]

I feel this is the right choice but then the other night my DH came home with some papers from a local private school that my father in law had given him. No one really agrees with us for choosing to homeschool but thats fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I did however voice to my DH that I was a little offended about FIL giving the papers. My DH went to this private school and he did really like it but it is VERY expensive and we are on a tight budget with 5 kids!

 

DH said he worries that our kids are not getting the same experiences what the kids in public/private school are getting i.e. gym, art, music, lasting relationships with people you see on a daily basis, group projects, team sports. He worries I am not spending enough time with their work (5 hours 5th grader and 4th grader, 2 hours 1st grader and 1 or so with K)

 

I told him I make sure each day they get LA, reading, math, and we also do history 3 times a week and science 4. I just added time4learning for them to do as well as our other things...mainly CLE.

 

I want what is best for my kids as all of us moms do. But I always feel like I am not doing good enough.

 

Just a little vent but if you have any advice that would be nice too :)

 

My dh was really worried last year, too. So much so that he was investigating a rigorous charter school for my oldest (this school starts at 6th grade). After I freaked out on him (not one of my finer wife moments :blush:), we had a long discussion. He told me his reasons for his concerns, and I found ways to address them. My boys are now in a great one day enrichment program (that they LOVE) where they get art, science, PE, and other things, along with a great classroom experience. They're also enrolled in a public speaking chapter. I also reminded him of the non-academic benefits of homeschooling (family closeness being the number one benefit). He's now fully on board with homeschooling again.

 

So first, here's a :grouphug:. But my advice would be to listen to your dh's concerns and try to find a way to address them. The solutions we came up with aren't easy on me, but I'm seeing growth in my boys in an area of weakness I hadn't noticed or addressed before.

[MIch elle]

I KNOW that homeschooling my boys K-8 and K-7 was the RIGHT choice for our family. Putting them in school has given me the knowledge that we did the right thing. They received what they needed academically and socially.

 

But it's also been the right choice to put them in school when we did (high school and grade 8). :001_smile:

 

CLE is EXCELLENT! Your dc may be getting a better education in math, LA and reading than their peers because of CLE. They may also be getting more history & science too depending on what your using/doing. SO much time is wasted in a traditional school!

[Tree House Academy]

Neither of us ever wonder. We are 100% on the same page with our decision. I am sure it would be hard if we weren't.

[katemary63]

My Dh teaches Sunday school at church and interacts with lots of ps kids in church and 4H. He sees the difference in our daughter; her maturity, her respectfulness, her intelligence, thinking ability, knowledge level. I could go on and on. She runs circles around her ps peers and he sees it regularly. He is thrilled that I homeschool because the results are obvious. My DD sticks out like a sore thumb among her ps peers so I surely don’t have to do any convincing with him.

We are in a co-op that we love. DD gets PE, music complete with performance programs and everything, Spanish, science, and many other classes along with monthly fieldtrips. She has so many friends in the co-op, 4-H, Awana and church that the worry about long lasting friendships is nonexistent. I cannot think of a single good thing about ps or private school that I haven't provided in homeschool and I can think of a million bad things that she is completely avoiding. It's a no brainer for both of us.

[justamouse]

this is what I can do. You know? If sending all of mine to private school was an option, I would consider it, but it's not and so I do the best I can and only compare enough to keep my going, not enough to paralyze me.

[Belacqua]

I almost never wonder, as homeschooling has worked out very well so far and everybody is completely on board. But still, there are times when the tiny doubts creep in.

 

When we were getting marketing materials from boarding schools (I guess the kid reached the target age for these places), my head was turned ever so slightly by the beautiful brochures from Andover and Exeter. Happy, intellectually stimulated students, the finest faculties, staggering college admissions stats. And the trees! Look at them all, studying peacefully under majestic, sunlit trees!

 

But then I snapped out of it. My kid is happy and stimulated. Husband and I make a pretty fair faculty, and there's no need to panic about college. And we live in the dang woods, so we have our own trees!

 

So even if you're 99% committed and certain about your decision, there will probably be some of Those Days.

[mcconnellboys]

Number of hours spent on core subjects per week in elementary:

 

http://nces.ed.gov/pubs/97293.pdf

 

This report is generous. I believe it was U.S. News and World Report that issued an article a while back that was scathing as to the amount of time wasted in schools. I'm not sure I can find it now....

[rwalizer]

After four years of ds begging to go back to school we decided, with heavy hearts, to let him go. He started 10th grade a month into the school year and the teachers aren't making him make up anything. How important could it be if they don't think he needs to know it? Did the other kids just learn a month worth of unnecessary stuff? The point is, don't worry about not doing enough. Surely your kids are learning at least as much as they would get in regular school and most likely more. Besides, at home they are spending the time learning the things they need. By the way, last Friday half the school day that our tax money is paying for was devoted to a pep rally.

[mcconnellboys]

My older son went back to a private school in tenth and I can't begin to tell you what a waste of time that was....

[Debbie in OR]

My thoughts are summed up in my signature line. If I were to focus on the short-term (do they have enough friends; do they have ANY friends; are they "on-level" with math/history/science/grammar/etc; will they know how to study?; are their experiences varied enough? etc), I would truly freak myself out and put them in school.

 

But we are aiming for great ADULTS, not teenagers who got through with lots of friends, top of their class, got to go to prom, had all the experiences of peers and school, etc....The bulk of their life will be lived as adults, not as middle-schoolers or high schoolers. I would rather their gaps be in prom night, being voted most-popular (or not), etc..., not in living their lives daily under our influence. This time here is so short. Really. I mean, I was just hanging out at the pool yesterday, right? Where did the last three months go?? My ds11 was just 4. How does that happen?

 

Would they be ok if they went to school? Yes, they would be ok. They might even be great. But we are aiming for something different.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

I feel this is the right choice but then the other night my DH came home with some papers from a local private school that my father in law had given him. No one really agrees with us for choosing to homeschool but thats fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I did however voice to my DH that I was a little offended about FIL giving the papers. My DH went to this private school and he did really like it but it is VERY expensive and we are on a tight budget with 5 kids!

 

DH said he worries that our kids are not getting the same experiences what the kids in public/private school are getting i.e. gym, art, music, lasting relationships with people you see on a daily basis, group projects, team sports. He worries I am not spending enough time with their work (5 hours 5th grader and 4th grader, 2 hours 1st grader and 1 or so with K)

 

I told him I make sure each day they get LA, reading, math, and we also do history 3 times a week and science 4. I just added time4learning for them to do as well as our other things...mainly CLE.

 

I want what is best for my kids as all of us moms do. But I always feel like I am not doing good enough.

 

Just a little vent but if you have any advice that would be nice too :)

One of our goals is for our children to have close and lasting relationships with each other, and the rest of our family. Both my dh and I went to public school and neither of us are even in touch with any of the "friends" we made there.

 

We've never worried that we made the wrong decision :001_smile:

 

I'm sorry your FIL did that :( My dh's aunt (retired public school teacher) was very against our homeschooling at first but has come around, especially now that our older boys are teens (15 and 16 1/2).

[Pamela H in Texas]

Number of hours spent on core subjects per week in elementary:

 

Not that they could win. They spend 2/3 of the time they have on core subjects. If they did 90%, everyone would be carrying on about how there isn't enough music, art, p.e. recess, etc.

 

I'm not defending that in most classrooms, a LOT of time is wasted. I have been AMAZED by the inefficiency especially in some classrooms. But I think we have to be balanced also.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

My thoughts are summed up in my signature line. If I were to focus on the short-term (do they have enough friends; do they have ANY friends; are they "on-level" with math/history/science/grammar/etc; will they know how to study?; are their experiences varied enough? etc), I would truly freak myself out and put them in school.

 

But we are aiming for great ADULTS, not teenagers who got through with lots of friends, top of their class, got to go to prom, had all the experiences of peers and school, etc....The bulk of their life will be lived as adults, not as middle-schoolers or high schoolers. I would rather their gaps be in prom night, being voted most-popular (or not), etc..., not in living their lives daily under our influence. This time here is so short. Really. I mean, I was just hanging out at the pool yesterday, right? Where did the last three months go?? My ds11 was just 4. How does that happen?

 

Would they be ok if they went to school? Yes, they would be ok. They might even be great. But we are aiming for something different.

 

Our goal is to raise great adults, not hip teenagers.

I LOVE it!!!

[Jenny in GA]

My husband was very concerned for a couple years that I was not spending enough time. When my oldest was seven, he said we should be doing at least four hours a day in schoolwork, and I couldn't even do that even if I tried!

 

I wonder if your FIL is talking about private school because he has heard your husband say that he would like the kids to go to school. That was true here, and I know another family where that happened too -- the husband told his parents that he didn't think homeschooling was going well, and the grandparents offered to help pay for private school.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure if you're asking for re-assurance and encouragement and what some people call "cooing," or if you're concerned because your husband is unhappy with how homeschooling is going -- or both.

 

I know what helped here was me taking my husband's concerns more seriously. For example, when he would say that schools spend six hours a day, I would say, "Yes, but they spend time in gym and recess and standing in line" and he would get livid! I thought I was addressing his concern, but he saw it as me blowing him off.

 

One thing that seemed to help was having the kids take standardized tests, younger and more often than the state requires. If I were up to me, I would not have done that, but my husband feels very relieved to see decent test scores. I think he also appreciated that I did it when he asked me to, instead of explaining why having a six year old take standardized tests twice a year wasn't in anyone's best interests.

 

 

Good luck!

Jenny

[Alphabetika]

They certainly *are* getting lasting relationships with people they see on a daily basis - each other!;)

[lisabelle]

I have moments of doubt when we have a day where ds dawdles and we don't get much done. But he was in public school from kindergarten through 5th grade and I was a very active volunteer during those years. I *know* that what we accomplish on a bad day is way more then what was accomplished in the classroom on a good day, and that knowledge sustains me.

 

DH was *very* concerned at first. He was on board with homeschooling, but he'd come home from work and ds and I would be puttering around, doing our own things, done with school for the day. And it bothered him...even though it was no different from what he'd come home to when ds was in public school.

 

I have a little calendar that I write notes in every day of what we've done. Ds is registered as a homeschooling student in our district and I have to write a monthly progress report, so it makes my life easier to write things down as we do them. I started leaving that calendar open on the coffee table and let the dh know it was there and he could look at it any time. That helped a lot.

 

As far as social stuff, ds gets peer interaction every day. He's doing FIRST Lego League, he's on a homeschool math team, he's taking a co-op history class, he does orchestra at his old school and he joined Boy Scouts this year.

[Peela]

The truth is it is a trade off. Yes, there are experiences that school kids get that our homeschooled kids wont get, although often we can compensate with extra classes. But there are so many benefits to homeschooling that schooled kids dont get...a more relaxed and non competitive environment and pace to our days, not having to deal with a lot of meanness, a closer family, one on one attention.....that most of us consider the good to outweigh the bad by far.

 

That being said I have now enrolled my son into highschool for next year and we had an interview with the deputy a couple of days ago. He was pretty impressed with ds- his ability to communicate, to look him in the eye and express himself. Have you noticed how many tees wont look you in the eye? I have never even told ds to do that- it is natural to him to talk to adults respectfully but with dignity. The deputy heard my reasons for wanting to enrol ds in school and said they sounded very valid but he said to realise that a school envornment cant compete with the one on one quality attention that ds has had at home. I thought that was amazing since this guy was a bit wary at first. He also said that while having teachers for different subjects was great, there will always be teachers that ds will not like or click with.

 

It sounds like your dh not trusting you fully is causing you some anxiety and that is so understandable. But that stress and anxiety of "never doing enough" really changes the tone of our home and homeschooling days. I was like that for years and I wish I hadn't "pushed" so hard and had spent more time just enjoying what we do with a healthy discipline- and let go of what we just didn't get to. Trying to compete with schools is not acknowledging all the incidental learning and character training and fostering a love of learning (not always, I know, but somewhat) that hpapens in the home environment.

 

Perhaps your dh has a kind of wish for his own kids to have the experiences he enjoyed as a child. Perhaps it is an emotional longing for those happy days, himself. Maybe you can acknowledge his feelings while reminding him of the many benefits of homeschooling. But you shouldnt have to "prove" yourself to him or anyone.

[kalanamak]

Yes, I have doubts and worries. This, plus gleaning resources, it the major reason I am here.

[Sue G in PA]

I used to worry far more than I do know, especially re: my older children. High school sports, dramas, choir, leadership opportunities, trips, band, etc. None of these things I can give to them. And my stomach still gets all knotted up thinking about it. But, it's a give and take. The bad of ps negates the good of all the activites, IMHO (at least around here in our schools it does). We do our best. I love my kids, want the best for them, am in no way arrogant enough to believe that I am the absolute best for their education but it sure beats the ps around here. One year back in the "system" convinved me of that. So, we keep plugging along and re-evaluating as the years go on. Today, I was more convinced that homeschooling was what we need to do. Nothing big...just walking around Target with my just turned 11yo and it was like God spoke to me (right out of the blue) and said we were doing the right thing. Totally not thinking about school or anything. It stopped me in my tracks. Anyway. You are not alone!

[elegantlion]

I don't doubt that homeschooling is the right decision for my child, yet he's my only child. If we had other children I would probably evaluate their needs individually.

 

As others have said there are trade offs with homeschooling, but honestly I like the perks of homeschooling much better.

 

Do I worry about what path to take in our homeschooling journey? Absolutely. I'm constantly adjusting our sails, but I have a destination in mind.

 

My dh never told me but he had concerns the first year we homeschooled. He's adamant that our son receive a better education that either of us did (large suburban public schools). He was concerned that I wouldn't put on the high priority list. In his defense we had a few friends that homeschooled and tried to squeeze in the schooling between social activities and time on the phone. He shared this information with me AFTER our first year of schooling and followed it with a compliment. he still gives me compliments, which I love.

[Jenny in GA]

In his defense we had a few friends that homeschooled and tried to squeeze in the schooling between social activities and time on the phone. He shared this information with me AFTER our first year of schooling and followed it with a compliment. he still gives me compliments, which I love.

 

 

Oh yeah, I forgot about that part!

 

People always say, "If your husband has concerns about homeschooling, let him meet and talk to some homeschooled families."

 

But ironically, that was what was partially causing the problems! The two homeschooling families that we knew did not impress him at all. (For example, in one family, the parents flat-out said that they had no problem with their kids doing on-line gaming for 30 hours a week, because it was "a learning experience.")

 

In fact, someone once told him that homeschooled kids tend to score higher on standardized tests, and his eyes got big and he said he didn't see how that could possibly be true, based on the homeschooled kids he knew.

 

Interesting.

 

Jenny

[DianeW88]

Nope....not in 16 years. We've seen the effects of public school on many of our children's friends and we're not impressed. And, I'm not talking about the social aspects necessarily....although there is that, as well. I'm talking about all the kids who supposedly go to "fabulous" public schools and are taking all the "honors" classes, etc., etc. It's all just over-inflated, ego-stroking, nonsense. My dyslexic dd can read better than most of her peers, which she finds hysterical, and as far as the honors classes go....they don't cover half of what we do in history or literature. Not to mention, what they consider literature is questionable at best (Jurassic Park....in an AP English class? Really?). And I say this as a mother of a very average high school student....not a gifted overachiever type in any sense of the word (that's my nutty 9 year old). She's head and shoulders above all the "advanced" kids in our local (very highly ranked), public highschool.

 

In fact, when my dd signed up to participate on the high school drill/dance team, the vice-principal had to give her permission to do so. We brought in a portfolio of her work so that he could make sure she was performing "up to high school standards". His comments when looking at her Latin work, "Wow, we don't even offer this here." Upon seeing her book list for the previous two years, "You guys read a lot." :lol:

[DawnM]

5 hours with your 5th grader? Ok, now I feel I am not doing enough!

 

My 5th and 6th grader spend about 3 hours per day on school.

 

Dawn

 

I feel this is the right choice but then the other night my DH came home with some papers from a local private school that my father in law had given him. No one really agrees with us for choosing to homeschool but thats fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I did however voice to my DH that I was a little offended about FIL giving the papers. My DH went to this private school and he did really like it but it is VERY expensive and we are on a tight budget with 5 kids!

 

DH said he worries that our kids are not getting the same experiences what the kids in public/private school are getting i.e. gym, art, music, lasting relationships with people you see on a daily basis, group projects, team sports. He worries I am not spending enough time with their work (5 hours 5th grader and 4th grader, 2 hours 1st grader and 1 or so with K)

 

I told him I make sure each day they get LA, reading, math, and we also do history 3 times a week and science 4. I just added time4learning for them to do as well as our other things...mainly CLE.

 

I want what is best for my kids as all of us moms do. But I always feel like I am not doing good enough.

 

Just a little vent but if you have any advice that would be nice too :)

[6packofun]

I should clarify that once we made the decision I rarely worried about *that*, but I do worry sometimes about doing a good enough job, doing right by my children and all that. Not all the time, usually when things are tough, but I can say that I don't recall second-guessing our choice TO homeschool. (Sorry, I added this because I didn't want to sound flip in my first reply!)

[mommyto3boys2girls]

I wonder if your FIL is talking about private school because he has heard your husband say that he would like the kids to go to school.

I doubt it. My FIL would just do something like handling out private school information just because he feels hsing is not the best way to teach kids. And because DH nor myself graduated from college he doesn't see us or me as fit to teach. That was true here, and I know another family where that happened too -- the husband told his parents that he didn't think homeschooling was going well, and the grandparents offered to help pay for private school.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure if you're asking for re-assurance and encouragement and what some people call "cooing," or if you're concerned because your husband is unhappy with how homeschooling is going -- or both. Both I suppose. I just also needed to vent a little :tongue_smilie:

 

I know what helped here was me taking my husband's concerns more seriously. For example, when he would say that schools spend six hours a day, I would say, "Yes, but they spend time in gym and recess and standing in line" and he would get livid! I thought I was addressing his concern, but he saw it as me blowing him off.

 

One thing that seemed to help was having the kids take standardized tests, younger and more often than the state requires. If I were up to me, I would not have done that, but my husband feels very relieved to see decent test scores. I think he also appreciated that I did it when he asked me to, instead of explaining why having a six year old take standardized tests twice a year wasn't in anyone's best interests.

What test do your kids take? My DH DOES want this done as well. He really wants to see where our kids rank as far as grade level standards.

 

 

Good luck!

Jenny

 

:)

[mommyto3boys2girls]

They certainly *are* getting lasting relationships with people they see on a daily basis - each other!;)

 

Good point:) DH was just spending time with one of his friends who mentioned he still after all this time has a large group of friends he sees monthly from high school and another group from college.

[mommyto3boys2girls]

I used to worry far more than I do know, especially re: my older children. High school sports, dramas, choir, leadership opportunities, trips, band, etc. None of these things I can give to them. And my stomach still gets all knotted up thinking about it. But, it's a give and take. The bad of ps negates the good of all the activites, IMHO (at least around here in our schools it does). We do our best. I love my kids, want the best for them, am in no way arrogant enough to believe that I am the absolute best for their education but it sure beats the ps around here. One year back in the "system" convinved me of that. So, we keep plugging along and re-evaluating as the years go on. Today, I was more convinced that homeschooling was what we need to do. Nothing big...just walking around Target with my just turned 11yo and it was like God spoke to me (right out of the blue) and said we were doing the right thing. Totally not thinking about school or anything. It stopped me in my tracks. Anyway. You are not alone!

 

Thank you:grouphug: