When NOT to MYOB...just wish it didn't feel so bad

[cajunrose]

Quick back story. These little kids down the street (they were around 18 mts and maybe 2.5) were ALWAYS getting out and walking the streets..many times without clothes on. I think everybody thought that the time THEY found them, was the only time it happened....well people started adding stories up and comparing, and it wasn't isolated. It happened often. Now I live on water...THEY live on water....on a very very busy street, etc. Stories were that several people would return said children and the mom would be high and she would blow it off (Oh they always get out.) The last straw for me was when my neighbor heard the mom calling the baby at 11:30 at night...she had gotten out and was 2 blocks down in her diaper and nothing else on...Mom wasn't frantic..she was laughing it off.

 

I bit the bullet and called CPS. I was under the impression that nothing happened. The worker told me that they left a card and that they couldn't get in touch with them (would YOU return a call from a CPS worker if they left a card when you weren't home?) We stopped seeing the kids out and about and I didn't worry anymore about it.

 

It was all the mom. The dad works offshore (not home at all for months at a time). They were 100% taken care of when he was home. I don't know if he knew or not.

 

Anyway, I found out today that the mom got sent away to a 'hospital' (we are thinking drugs and psyc.) and has been gone since MAY. The Dad had to basically quit his job to take care of the kids. He is doing a good job though and I applaud him for stepping up. This happened in May and right when the older girl got out of school, he packed the kids up and went on a 2 month vacation to the east coast.....he said he needed the kids to have a fresh start. My heart goes out to him.

 

I hope the mom gets better. They told me (mutual friends...he doesn't know I know yet) that it was a direct result of the cps call (that nobody knows I made).

 

I just wish it didn't feel so bad. I probably permanently altered that family. My husband said I probably saved the lives of the babies.

[Jean in Newcastle]

You permanently altered that family for the better. The kids get their dad to step up and someone to take care of them. The mom gets a chance at getting clean and getting her act together.

[5LittleMonkeys]

When everyone else turned a blind eye you stepped forward and took action to remedy a bad situation. You should not feel bad about anything. Bless you for doing the hard thing. That family is better off even if mom doesn't get better. What matters most is that those precious babies are being taken care of by their daddy because you cared. Thank you.

[Margo out of lurking]

You permanently altered that family for the better. The kids get their dad to step up and someone to take care of them. The mom gets a chance at getting clean and getting her act together.

:iagree:The right thing to do is not always easy. You did the right thing.

[Dandelion]

You permanently altered that family for the better. The kids get their dad to step up and someone to take care of them. The mom gets a chance at getting clean and getting her act together.

 

:iagree:

 

Thanks for caring enough to do the right thing!

[Ritsumei]

That one is not a decision to regret. You absolutely did the right thing. Dad probably didn't realize how things really were when he was gone, or it sounds like he would have done something about it. Mom needed help, and now she's getting it. And, of course, those kiddos are much better off. Where there's drugs & neglect there are frequently worse things done to the children. I used to work with kids who'd been removed from their homes... the stories would curl your hair. Even if it wasn't *that* bad for these kids, IMO the drugs mean it's going to get worse until some outside force intervenes. You were that force.

 

There are many things in life that we legitimately feel guilt for. This is not one of those things.

 

Which is not to say that it wasn't terribly difficult. That's legitimate too.

[EJCMom]

You sure did alter that family. Those babies won't be found dead or neglected now because you made that call. You very likely saved their lives.

[Audrey]

:iagree:The right thing to do is not always easy. You did the right thing.

 

:iagree:Yep.

[specialmama]

You sure did alter that family. Those babies won't be found dead or neglected now because you made that call. You very likely saved their lives.

 

:iagree:

[StephanieF]

I wish more people did what you did. There would be fewer tragic cases if that were the case. There are so many stories of neighbours coming forward after the event and saying that they thought something was wrong but did nothing.

 

You changed their life for the better.

Stephanie

[RanchGirl]

You sure did alter that family. Those babies won't be found dead or neglected now because you made that call. You very likely saved their lives.

 

:iagree:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Long ago I worked with a sailor who had had a similar situation. He'd been on deployment and had to go home when he got a message through the Red Cross that his kids were in a state custody because his wife had been busted for coke.

 

It was years later when I knew him. He'd divorced and remarried. He was then finishing getting custody of his kids back. He'd had to give custody to his parents since his Navy responsibilities meant that he couldn't keep custody.

 

The good news was that his kids hadn't gotten hurt. It could have easily been much worse. I'm another vote for you're having done the right thing.

[May]

You did the right thing, don't doubt it.

[TN Mama]

:iagree:The right thing to do is not always easy. You did the right thing.

 

:iagree:

[Lovedtodeath]

There are many things in life that we legitimately feel guilt for. This is not one of those things.

 

Which is not to say that it wasn't terribly difficult. That's legitimate too.

 

You sure did alter that family. Those babies won't be found dead or neglected now because you made that call. You very likely saved their lives.

:iagree:Thank you for saving these babies. My nieces and nephews are alive because of people like you. My niece was feeding and caring for her younger brothers when she was only 6. My nephew had a broken leg when he was less than 2 years old (due to neglect). Their mom never came to the custody hearing and they are better off for it.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Edited September 28, 2010 by Lovedtodeath

[nono]

You were prudent. You didn't make a snap decision and pick up the phone and interfere in someone's life based on flimsy information.

 

Please don't feel guilty.

[Denisemomof4]

living with what you did may be hard, but you COULDN'T live with yourself if one of the babies ended up dead, disappeared, etc. It was your responsibility to make that call, and you very well may have saved two lives.

[elegantlion]

You permanently altered that family for the better. The kids get their dad to step up and someone to take care of them. The mom gets a chance at getting clean and getting her act together.

 

:iagree: :iagree:

[Heatherwith4]

You did something great! I'm sure it is hard, but what if you'd done nothing, and the worst happened? Then you would really feel bad. Good for you! :grouphug:

[Harriet Vane]

You permanently altered that family for the better. The kids get their dad to step up and someone to take care of them. The mom gets a chance at getting clean and getting her act together.

 

:iagree:

 

Your actions may well have saved that family. Thank God you called.

[Jackie in AR]

I think you did the right thing, Stephenie.

 

I agree with your husband that you probably saved the lives of those children. And you've given the mom a chance to get herself together and be a mother to them - something that she likely wouldn't have done without some intervention.

 

:grouphug:

[Ferdie]

I think it goes even deeper than possibly saving their life. You are taking about quality of life, too.

 

I am raising a child that was from a neglected home, and he still has major issues from the neglect. Not receiving basic care, (food, diaper change, love) can severly impact a child emotions.

 

You have just made those children's future much brighter. :001_smile:

Edited September 28, 2010 by Ferdie

[Dobela]

You absolutely did the right thing. They could have been killed. As a foster parent I also knew of parents who allowed their children to be se*ually molested in exchange for drugs.

[mommaduck]

This past week, two small children in this area left a house in the middle of the night, mom and dad were fighting, walked several blocks alone, and one child drowned in a neighbour's garden pond. You did the right thing. You didn't jump to conclusions. The mama had a history. You not only saved their lives, you probably made it better before it got worse. Dad stepped up and is giving everyone a new start...mom is in the hospital getting help like she should and no longer neglecting children.

[JessReplanted]

you totally did the right thing!!

[simka2]

Kudos momma!!! I know it doesn't feel like it, but you did a good thing. For those kiddos and for that momma, don't feel bad.

[JeneralMom]

You absolutely did the right thing and save them from years of neglect and possible physical harm.

[Gooblink]

This could have been the bottom that the mother needed to hit. My prayer would be that she respond to the help she's receiving, get her life back in order and that the family wounds heal.

 

Whether that happens or not, your taking action was responsible, necessary and compassionate. The kids now have a chance. I agree you saved thier lives.

 

Yes, it feels bad. The situation is bad, but it sounds like the dad is a stand-up guy and will take care of his babies.

 

You did the right thing. :grouphug:

[OregonNative]

They told me (mutual friends...he doesn't know I know yet) that it was a direct result of the cps call (that nobody knows I made).

 

I highly doubt that the cps call sent her to the hospital. She obviously had issues way before that happened-a "healthy" person doesn't do the things she did. She needed help before cps came knocking.

 

You did alter the family and you should be proud of yourself! If you hadn't of made that call, something worse-way worse-could have happened. Imagine how you would feel if you hadn't of made the call and one of them died, got kidnapped etc.?

 

Those kids have a chance now and a father that loves them. You did the right thing:grouphug:

[Jen in PA]

You permanently altered that family for the better. The kids get their dad to step up and someone to take care of them. The mom gets a chance at getting clean and getting her act together.

 

:iagree: Just think of what the father would have gone through if something had happened because you hadn't intervened!