Tell Me I'm Just Being Paranoid

[LauraGB]

Yesterday, dd and I went to the budget theater to see The Last Song. Dh and ds were gone fishing. Dd and I were seated in about the middle of the back 4-5 rows. Three teenage girls came in sat in the row behind us to the right. Two moms and their 6-7 year old dds were seated a few rows ahead of us (each mom had 1 dd). Just before the lights went down, an older man in a white tank top and cut offs came in and sat in the last seat in the back to the left of us. From what I could see, he had a white beard and white-ish hair. Okay. The lights went down and the previews started. He got up and closed the doors, the sat back down. For some reason, this made me a bit concerned. FTR, I rarely even notice things like this. But even dd thought it was odd an pointed it out to me, which made me even more suspicious (because she doesn't notice things like that either). So, I spent the entirety of the movie, sitting cranked a bit to my left, faking looks at dd on my left so I could see this guy in my peripheral (he was sitting at my 7 o' clock, iykwim). All I could think of was what could this guy do in a small theater with 9 women/girls for 2 hours? OMG. Two hours in a budget theater, in the dark, with the door closed (blocked?) where no one would bother to check?

 

Needless to say, we emerged alive and well from the movie.

 

However, today dd and I left home to go to Home Depot. Dh and ds were gone again. I waited at the end of my driveway to pull out for a few cars and a pedestrian. I commented to dd that that particular pedestrian must have been walking for a long time because the dog had barked at him about an hour prior (and I had to bring the dog inside because she wouldn't stop barking at him as he passed in the opposite direction earlier). The pedestrian passed my driveway, stopped in front of my house (about 15-20 feet from my waiting car), and made a phone call while staring at my house! Dd leaned over to me and whispered, "He looks like that guy from the movie yesterday!" And sure enough, he did! Now, to be honest, I couldn't get a really good look at him in the theater from my wonky angle. Anyway, pedestrian guy stood there, on the cell phone looking at my house, knowing we were leaving it, and talked. I sat there, not willing to drive away. Then, he freely (remember, he was fairly near to my car) looked from us to the house and continued to talk, but not walk away, or at least keep on walking as he had been. I have no sidewalk. My road is a county highway. It was totally weird. So, I backed out and went down the road. Then I decided I would pull over and watch to see if he left. After a few minutes, he did. Then, I turned my car around and went the other way (behind him, more or less). When I passed him, he didn't even look up. I decided to run my errand quickly and get back home.

 

Dh called me from home about 20 minutes later. "Hey, why did you leave the side door unlocked?" he said. I checked and double checked all the doors before I left, and then sent dd back inside before I pulled out (before we saw the creepy guy on the road) just to be sure.

 

:confused: Tell me I'm being paranoid.

[nono]

Laura,

 

NO -- I can't tell you that you are being paranoid. LISTEN to that voice that is telling you that something isn't right! I'd call the police non-emergency number and ask for a patrolman to come around. Law enforcement can't help you if you don't let them know that there's a problem developing.

[simka2]

I wouldn't feel right telling you not to be VERY concerned about this!!! In fact, kudos...for being so observant. I would have the police out to print the side door. I would also make sure the dog is out!!!

 

My mother was attacked and stabbed in her art gallery last fall for no reason. The only reason this person was caught was because of another very observant gallery owner who got a "creepy" feeling from him.

 

Please take care of yourselves!

[cani e porci]

:iagree:

 

You are absolutely not being paranoid! Please call the police and keep yourself safe.

[Scarlett]

Yesterday, dd and I went to the budget theater to see The Last Song. Dh and ds were gone fishing. Dd and I were seated in about the middle of the back 4-5 rows. Three teenage girls came in sat in the row behind us to the right. Two moms and their 6-7 year old dds were seated a few rows ahead of us (each mom had 1 dd). Just before the lights went down, an older man in a white tank top and cut offs came in and sat in the last seat in the back to the left of us. From what I could see, he had a white beard and white-ish hair. Okay. The lights went down and the previews started. He got up and closed the doors, the sat back down. For some reason, this made me a bit concerned. FTR, I rarely even notice things like this. But even dd thought it was odd an pointed it out to me, which made me even more suspicious (because she doesn't notice things like that either). So, I spent the entirety of the movie, sitting cranked a bit to my left, faking looks at dd on my left so I could see this guy in my peripheral (he was sitting at my 7 o' clock, iykwim). All I could think of was what could this guy do in a small theater with 9 women/girls for 2 hours? OMG. Two hours in a budget theater, in the dark, with the door closed (blocked?) where no one would bother to check?

 

Needless to say, we emerged alive and well from the movie.

 

However, today dd and I left home to go to Home Depot. Dh and ds were gone again. I waited at the end of my driveway to pull out for a few cars and a pedestrian. I commented to dd that that particular pedestrian must have been walking for a long time because the dog had barked at him about an hour prior (and I had to bring the dog inside because she wouldn't stop barking at him as he passed in the opposite direction earlier). The pedestrian passed my driveway, stopped in front of my house (about 15-20 feet from my waiting car), and made a phone call while staring at my house! Dd leaned over to me and whispered, "He looks like that guy from the movie yesterday!" And sure enough, he did! Now, to be honest, I couldn't get a really good look at him in the theater from my wonky angle. Anyway, pedestrian guy stood there, on the cell phone looking at my house, knowing we were leaving it, and talked. I sat there, not willing to drive away. Then, he freely (remember, he was fairly near to my car) looked from us to the house and continued to talk, but not walk away, or at least keep on walking as he had been. I have no sidewalk. My road is a county highway. It was totally weird. So, I backed out and went down the road. Then I decided I would pull over and watch to see if he left. After a few minutes, he did. Then, I turned my car around and went the other way (behind him, more or less). When I passed him, he didn't even look up. I decided to run my errand quickly and get back home.

 

Dh called me from home about 20 minutes later. "Hey, why did you leave the side door unlocked?" he said. I checked and double checked all the doors before I left, and then sent dd back inside before I pulled out (before we saw the creepy guy on the road) just to be sure.

 

:confused: Tell me I'm being paranoid.

 

Oh my... Creepy.....way creepy...

[2cents]

Listen to your little voice! Do you have a dog? Alarm system? I'd consider one or both. Stay safe!

[LauraGB]

Laura,

 

I'd call the police non-emergency number and ask for a patrolman to come around.

 

But, that's just it. And say what? "I think I saw this guy at the movies and then walking past my house..." I don't know. I feel stupid. Paranoid, in fact. They'd think I was cracked. And who knows - I've got 4 doors to lock before I leave. I thought I got them all, but maybe when I sent dd back inside, she only skimmed, even though she claims otherwise? I mean, I second guessed my own locking of them enough to send her back inside.

[Guest janainaz]

The guy at the movies definitely sounds like a creep. I have encountered several creeps at the movies and it's always good to be aware of your surroundings. I think we do have a sixth sense about things that don't seem right and it's good to trust that - better safe than sorry. When I was a teen, a weird guy at the movies parked himself two seats over from me and my friend in a practically empty theatre. He was absolutely up to something. We hopped over the seats and reported him. Just a few years ago, I was at the movies by myself, sitting in about the 3rd row to the front, and some guy sat a few seats over from me and kept looking over every few minutes. Again, the theatre had 80 billion available seats and there he is, right next to me. He tried to hand me a bag and asked me if I'd watch it for him while he went to the bathroom. I sternly told him to take it with him and he got up and left and never came back in.

 

In regard to the guy hanging out near your house..... it never hurts to call the police. We have called for various things over the years and just explained our concerns and had officers come check things out. That is why we have police to begin with. Being observant and being paranoid are two different things. If you run around on a daily basis worried about the boogey man and something bad happening, that's paranoia. Maybe the movie guy freaked you out, and rightly so. You should still call and have an officer just do a drive by when you feel uneasy.

[Bug's Mom]

If you haven't, read Gavin de Becker's Protecting the Gift. It's all about trusting those feelings.

[LauraGB]

My mother was attacked and stabbed in her art gallery last fall for no reason. The only reason this person was caught was because of another very observant gallery owner who got a "creepy" feeling from him.

 

 

 

Oh my! I'm so sorry! Was she okay? Did they find the person who did it?

[simka2]

Yes, she is physically okay now...but it's not worth the risk. She is also someone who is very aware of her surroundings and he still managed to get to her.

 

It sounds like you are doubting yourself, but better to feel like an idiot and be on the safe side!!!

 

They did catch him a month later when he went back to finish what he started ;( People like this are not sane. The one thing she did say was "he looked so average...I never saw it coming."

 

I have friends who are both police officers and in the special forces...because of everything we've been thru the last few years, they make me promise to call whenever I get that creepy feeling!!!

 

Their there to help you :)

[nono]

But, that's just it. And say what? "I think I saw this guy at the movies and then walking past my house..." I don't know. I feel stupid. Paranoid, in fact. They'd think I was cracked. And who knows - I've got 4 doors to lock before I leave. I thought I got them all, but maybe when I sent dd back inside, she only skimmed, even though she claims otherwise? I mean, I second guessed my own locking of them enough to send her back inside.

 

"I'd like to have a policeman come by and tell him about a man I saw yesterday and now again today outside of my house. I'm concerned because I think he might have been casing our home...when my husband returned home after I left, the door was unlocked. We're uncertain if it was tampered with...."

 

Besides, they may be looking for "Crazy But Harmless Larry" and you may describe him. Alternately they maybe looking for "Joe Just Escaped from Prison in the Next County" and you may also describe him. Not trying to scare you, just pointing out that they may be able to put pieces of the story together for you.

[Jean in Newcastle]

What a police check would do is to make sure that no one was hiding in your home. It would also make sure that (according to you) nothing was taken. If your dh could make sure that everything was safe, I personally would be happy with that (if it was happening to me). Even so, I would make sure that all the doors were locked tonight and I would even perhaps block that one side door if it seemed like that door could be jimmied open easily. And I would pray.

 

If you saw that man again I would call the police non-emergency number to report it. I did that once because of a man who very obviously followed me home and sat outside our house for a long time laughing at me peering at him through the window. The police came while he was still there and warned him off. Fortunately he did not come back.

[Joanne]

I wish I could say "you're paranoid" but I don't think you are. And I agree about the Gavin de Becker book.

[Scarlett]

I did that once because of a man who very obviously followed me home and sat outside our house for a long time laughing at me peering at him through the window. The police came while he was still there and warned him off. Fortunately he did not come back.

 

And people worry about internet safety. I've always said if someone wanted to get me it would be much easier to follow me home from supercenter....

 

Creepy.

[MariannNOVA]

"I'd like to have a policeman come by and tell him about a man I saw yesterday and now again today outside of my house. I'm concerned because I think he might have been casing our home...when my husband returned home after I left, the door was unlocked. We're uncertain if it was tampered with...."

 

Besides, they may be looking for "Crazy But Harmless Larry" and you may describe him. Alternately they maybe looking for "Joe Just Escaped from Prison in the Next County" and you may also describe him. Not trying to scare you, just pointing out that they may be able to put pieces of the story together for you.

 

What a police check would do is to make sure that no one was hiding in your home. It would also make sure that (according to you) nothing was taken. If your dh could make sure that everything was safe, I personally would be happy with that (if it was happening to me). Even so, I would make sure that all the doors were locked tonight and I would even perhaps block that one side door if it seemed like that door could be jimmied open easily. And I would pray.

 

If you saw that man again I would call the police non-emergency number to report it. I did that once because of a man who very obviously followed me home and sat outside our house for a long time laughing at me peering at him through the window. The police came while he was still there and warned him off. Fortunately he did not come back.

 

I wish I could say "you're paranoid" but I don't think you are. And I agree about the Gavin de Becker book.

 

I agree - and please do what has been suggested.

[simka2]

This is why I own a dog the size of a small horse!!! :)

[nono]

What a police check would do is to make sure that no one was hiding in your home.

 

 

Yeah, that too! I came home when I was 18 and heard a thump upstairs. I went partially up the stairs and saw things were rummaged in our linen closet. I ran to the corner and called the cops from a payphone (OK I'm OLD). They went through the entire house very carefully, and we figured out that our new cat knocked over a lamp (the thump) and my older sister had scored a last minute pool party invitation (rummaging through the linen closet to find beach towels). Kudos to the two cops who didn't make me feel nuts for having called. They told me over and over I did the right thing.

[jenL]

Please trust your gut... I don't think you're being paranoid at all. With the help of the police, check your attic area, crawl space, whatever you have that is "unseen" most of the time. There are so many weirdos out there. You may not have noticed this guy follow you after the movies, which is why he appeared again at your house. It's always better to be safe than sorry.

[Heather in AL]

I will *not* tell you that you are being paranoid. I got goosebumps reading your post.

 

Please call the non-emergency police number. Tell them "I might be wrong, but I had an incident happen yesterday.... blah...blah... and now I think someone may have forced the door to my house... is there anyone who can come check?" Seriously. If the police are anything like the ones I've encountered, they will be happy to come and have a look-see.

 

I also suggest you do what I did after an "incident"... I put the non-emergency police number into my cell phone. I did not only *my* city, but the neighboring one that I travel through frequently, and the county sheriff dept, as well. While I was at it, I added animal control for both cities and the county, too.

 

Be on the lookout and listen to that 'voice'. Don't feel like you are being paranoid and don't let anyone convince you that you are. I would rather have people look at me a bit funny than to become a statistic because I cared what others thought~~ for example, I won't get on an elevator if I am the only woman and there is a man already there or I'll get off if I'm the only woman and a man gets on. I don't care if I 'hurt his feelings'... sad, but that's the world we live in. My safety goes above hurt feelings of strangers.

 

Make that call. You'll sleep better knowing you at least tried. :grouphug:

 

 

ETA: JenL's post about checking your attic & crawl space triggered a memory.... I saw a TV show a few months ago (a crime show) where some pervert had entered a house and hid cameras in bedrooms/bathrooms.... he just had a pinhole for the lens to peek through, so the occupants didn't notice a thing. I **double** the suggestion to check those areas, especially since he creeped you out at the movies!!

Edited June 14, 2010 by Heather in AL
to add info

[LauraGB]

You guys! Seriously! Now I feel even more paranoid! I was hoping everyone would say I was just a crazy lady and should get a grip!

 

Sigh. But, the thing is, I kind of agree and feel the same way.

 

I'll triple check the locks tonight - and my dog is quite the beast (one good thing she's good at :)), and I'll see what tomorrow brings. If I see this fellow again, I'll report it.

 

We have a fairly new (2-3 years) "condo complex" nearby - as in, I can see it from almost all my windows. But, no bus service out this way. I don't know how many hundreds of units are there, or even who lives there (I know all the close neighbors because they've been here forever). And that makes me uncomfortable (= paranoid lady on my part??). However, I don't want to be "that person" who passes judgement on a guy who goes alone to see a romantic, young love sort of movie, and then it transfers to the fact that the person lives in the apts nearby and walks a lot - kwim? Really, I just don't want to "that person". Because usually I'm not. Which is an additional reason I'm so second guessing the situation.

[duckens]

This is another vote for you to call the non-emergency police number. I would so be speed-dialing them!!!

 

This is what they are there for. This is why we pay taxes.

 

I don't see this as being anything different than sending a family member to the doctor if there is a strange lump or other thing with the body. I'm sure the doctor often hears, "This is probably nothing, but...." That is why we pay the doctor money: for their opinion and guidance.

 

And we pay taxes for the opinion and guidance of our police force...so we can be reassured whether we are paranoid or not, and what we can do to stay safe.

 

P.S. I don't think you are paranoid.

[KnitWit]

Laura,

 

You are NOT passing judgment on his choice to see a chick flick alone...you are acting upon the fact that he seems to have appeared in front of your home, and the weird unlocked door.

 

I have relatives in law enforcement...trust me, they would MUCH rather deal with something that turned out to be paranoia than to deal with something that turned out...well...awful.

 

Not trying to scare you...but to reassure you that this is not judging someone.

[elegantlion]

Call!!! Dh and I thwarted an attempted burglary earlier this year. One guy had ridden by on his bike and started a conversation with dh who was out in the yard. He kept riding by and then came back with a van and another person. They tried to play it off like they were looking for work when dh confronted them (he had been back in the house by then), our garage was open and they had their eye of an expensive paint sprayer. Dh called the sheriff after they left (it took me 20 minutes to convince him to do it, I had copied down the license number) and they were there in a hot minute. Turns out they had just arrested the guy because him and the other guy got into a fight and the other guy called the police on HIM! He had outstanding warrants for... you know it, burglary.

 

Call, let the police sort out the details. Perhaps he followed you home from the theater yesterday.

[smrtmama]

I am the cop's wife chiming in to say that my husband would MUCH rather come out to your home and check it out for safety, take a report, and have you be safe than have to come out and investigate a crime scene because you were afraid of being dismissed by the police as paranoid. Please call this in.

[WiseOwlKnits]

Don't mess with that voice. My DD was almost taken from a park when she was 18 months old while I was standing not 3 feet from her by a registered child m0le$ter. I had a similar creepy feeling to what you suggested and blew it off b/c I didn't want to be one of those kind of people. Meanwhile we were alone at a park while a man sat and stared at us for 15 minutes, getting closer and closer to us. (I blew it off as we were the only movement so of course his eyes would gravitate to us. Meanwhile, every cell in my body was screaming to get away, but I didn't want to overreact and DD was having so much fun so I ignored that voice.)

 

It ended with me making a mad grab for my daughter while he was reaching out to her with one hand and touching youknowwhat with the other.

 

It's only by the grace of God that I got her and he didn't. 4.5 years, there's still not a day that goes by where I don't think how badly things COULD have ended. I learned the hard way to listen to that voice and not to care what other might think of my actions. PLEASE don't learn the hard way.

[Denisemomof4]

I know you don't want to perhaps cause alarm to a potentially innocent man. I don't blame you. But I've had too many things happen in my life to tell you to just stay alert, keep an eye out, etc.

 

I would be alarmed if I were in your shoes. I started to post a few times and then deleted because I didn't want to frighten you. BUT, you really need to be wise here. I'd STRONGLY recommend you call the police and tell them everything you have here. I also STRONGLY, VERY STRONGLY, recommend you get an alarm installed in your house. Please do this.

 

This man may be innocent. But he may not be. He may not recognize you at all. But these are dangerous times we live in and you've GOT to protect yourself and your family/children. You can NOT ignore your gut. Had I ignored my gut, one of my kids would have been harmed by a pedophile. I was worried about suspecting a nice, perhaps innocent, man, but I just could NOT ignore my inner voice and let my guard down. Because of that my son is safe. Another teenage boy is not.

 

PLEASE report this, PLEASE install an alarm.

 

FWIW I posted here a few months ago about a situation at the YMCA and I reported an innocent man. He was horrified that he made anyone uncomfortable and was innocent, but I just couldn't let the fact go that he made some of the young girls VERY uncomfortable. I felt bad for this apparent socially awkward man, but protecting the innocent was my only concern.

[Parrothead]

From the ex-cop, make the call.

 

If it turns out to be nothing, then it is nothing. If it turns out to be something you've got the ball rolling.

 

I can think of a whole lotta reasons why this needs to be reported.

[Krissi]

Guess you don't need any more advice on this one. I agree with everyone. You're not paranoid. Don't even 2nd guess yourself on that one. Even if your wrong-it's reasonable to double check, make sure, do what you can to keep your family safe. And hopefully it is all nothing!

[laughing lioness]

:iagree:and major:grouphug:!

[elegantlion]

Did you call?

[LauraGB]

Did you call?

 

Not yet - we're still waking up here :). I talked to dh last night about it and he thinks if we come across him one more time, that would alleviate any reservations about coincidence enough to make the call. About the side door being unlocked, he's convinced I just thought I locked it, especially since I second guessed myself while leaving (third guessed?) and dd did say she stood in the center of the house and just "looked" to see if the doors were all locked - not the most dependable method, really.

 

Hoping we don't see him today! Dh is mostly going to be working from home today, so I do feel better about that, anyway.

[brehon]

You guys! Seriously! Now I feel even more paranoid! I was hoping everyone would say I was just a crazy lady and should get a grip!

 

Sigh. But, the thing is, I kind of agree and feel the same way.

 

I'll triple check the locks tonight - and my dog is quite the beast (one good thing she's good at :)), and I'll see what tomorrow brings. If I see this fellow again, I'll report it.

 

We have a fairly new (2-3 years) "condo complex" nearby - as in, I can see it from almost all my windows. But, no bus service out this way. I don't know how many hundreds of units are there, or even who lives there (I know all the close neighbors because they've been here forever). And that makes me uncomfortable (= paranoid lady on my part??). However, I don't want to be "that person" who passes judgement on a guy who goes alone to see a romantic, young love sort of movie, and then it transfers to the fact that the person lives in the apts nearby and walks a lot - kwim? Really, I just don't want to "that person". Because usually I'm not. Which is an additional reason I'm so second guessing the situation.

 

Coming late to this. Have you called today? What I bolded is exactly what criminals of all shapes and sizes expect us to do. Why? Because they know of our general good nature. This is what they prey upon. I work very closely with 4 different LE agencies -- every single one of the cops I know would say to you to call.

 

You weren't paranoid yesterday; you're not paranoid today. Please listen to that sixth sense you have (and thank goodness it's obviously in good working order!) and call the police. And then, if you haven't, read the de Becker book previously recommended.

[KristenS]

Haven't read all the posts yet ... wanted to respond quickly ... YES, CALL! The police WANT us to call about things like that. If nothing else, it's good practice for them, and reassuring for you. And it gets a file started just in case. I used to have to call, because we had a potential stalker situation, and in retrospect, I should've called more often ... though luckily nothing came of it.

 

My mom was out of town, her neighbors were feeding the dogs (outside), and I was supposed to be their on-call person with a key (I live about half an hour away). One night they were concerned because the gate wasn't properly latched, an inside light was on, and the dogs were making funny noises. They called the police and then called me. (Then we all got to play hunt-the-key-hiding-place in the dark, LOL). The police checked everything out, since they totally agreed it sounded suspicious. Turned out their son had taken it on himself, knowing the family's hectic schedule that day, to feed for them (he was a teenager and the prime feeder), and then the parents were trying to help HIM out, and also went to feed ... and the dogs fussed, because they'd already been fed. LOL. The gate was funny because he'd climbed it because he couldn't jiggle the latch right. And the light was one left on a timer, and no one had paid attention till that night. But the police searched the whole house to be safe, and then had me come in to assess whether I could notice anything missing or not (very cluttered home, so it was hard to tell for them). They were GREAT. And my own local police feel the same way. As they said at mom's house, they'd much rather be called for NOT an emergency, than not called for what IS a bad situation.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: The least I would do is look up sexual predators in your area. Most states have photos listed along with names.

[LauraGB]

:grouphug: The least I would do is look up sexual predators in your area. Most states have photos listed along with names.

 

That's a brilliant idea - I'm going to do that. Our paper lists the names, addresses and crimes every weekend of who is let back out into the community, but they never provide pictures. Great idea.

[Giraffe]

Do not wait to see what today brings. Call. Tell them it may be nothing, but it concerns you, freaked out your daughter, and you don't want anything to happen to your family OR SOMEONE ELSE. He may pass you over in favor of someone else that was in that theatre. If there's a report on file with a description, then if something does happen (God forbid!) to someone, they've got a record.

 

Please call. You're not paranoid. Trust your gut.

[Rebecca VA]

I wouldn't have been creeped out in the movie, since nothing really happened. Maybe he was trying to block out the light from the lobby?

 

But I would be creeped out HORRIBLY about him -- or anyone -- appearing in front of your house, staring at it, and making a phone call. That's WEIRD! Definitely call the police and take every safety precaution imaginable!

[KS_]

That's a brilliant idea - I'm going to do that. Our paper lists the names, addresses and crimes every weekend of who is let back out into the community, but they never provide pictures. Great idea.

 

Here's a link to one of the sites:

 

http://www.familywatchdog.us/

[LauraGB]

Here's a link to one of the sites:

 

http://www.familywatchdog.us/

 

That's the one I went to. It's positively disturbing how many are around here! Anyway, there were 2 that loosely fit my (admittedly generic) description of him. Both live within 2 miles of here. But I really can't say for sure - neither had a scruffy white beard, but that's easy to grow in, of course. The weights listed seemed a bit heavier than this guy - but that's easy enough to lose.

[elegantlion]

That's the one I went to. It's positively disturbing how many are around here! Anyway, there were 2 that loosely fit my (admittedly generic) description of him. Both live within 2 miles of here. But I really can't say for sure - neither had a scruffy white beard, but that's easy to grow in, of course. The weights listed seemed a bit heavier than this guy - but that's easy enough to lose.

 

 

:confused::confused::confused:...yes, you can lose weight by walking...:confused::confused::confused: :grouphug:

[bookfiend]

I'm happy for anyone to tell me this idea is no good, but my inclination would be to take the digital camera, walk outside the door and photo him should he come back and hang out in front of your house again. Right after you call that non-emergency number. I think it is a great deterrent for someone to know that they are known.