How do you combat this "stereotype" of homeschoolers?

[hlee]

So my husband, who teaches at Moody Bible Institute where a good number of homeschoolers have crossed his paths over the years, recently made a comment about "stereotypical homeschoolers." This is our first year homeschooling and so I have no idea what that means, so when I asked him, he said that the typical rap against homeschoolers is that they aren't good at working on deadline and getting things done in a timely fashion. He guessed that one of the inherent strengths of homeschooling--its flexibility and the freedom to take tangents or focus on one topic more than planned--can at times also be its greatest weakness.

 

My intent with this thread isn't to debate the validity of the stereotype--like all stereotypes, it might contain a hint of truth, it may be way off base for many of you--but I'm curious to know how those of you who have been doing this for a number of years guard against the potential pitfall of training kids who aren't as good at task-management. I have a 2nd grader this year, and I am unsure when to expect that he can finish a particular assignment in a particular amount of time. At this age, are such time limits necessary or a good thing? He does do timed math drills but we just always aim to "do better than the last time" in terms of finishing a particular number of questions within the designated time. Otherwise, I've never really used a time limit on anything else. If he does seem to languish during the day, I will have him keep going in the day until he finishes what seems reasonable, or I'll just carry tasks over to the next day. It's hard as a new homeschooler to know what to expect in terms of what he should be able to complete in a day, and then I'm sure it all changes with subsequent children!

 

So I'm eager to hear from the collective wisdom of the hive! What do you do to help your kids with task management, starting from what age, and how do you determine what are reasonable expectations to have of what work they can complete in what time? I'd love any feedback here!

 

Thanks in advance.

[JMDRAD]

I have three kids that are very close in age to yours, all girls though. I'm very interesting in hearing what others have to say about this. I figured that around 7th grade I would start working more on time management skills and deadlines, etc.

 

So....:lurk5:

[patchfire]

I started doing some very basic time management with dd this past year, when she was in fourth grade. I didn't expect her to master it or even to really do much more than *intend* to follow through, to be honest, but I felt like it was important to begin introducing a few things before I expected full compliance. :)

 

SWB has a wonderful mp3 available that addresses some of these questions. I confess that I feel like her time table is too lax but I suspect I'll be converted by the time my third one is ready. ;)

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

My ds9 will dawdle all day long and accomplish nothing if I let him. I started in 2nd grade working on Time Management with him. I want school to be done by 1-2 pm so we can do park days and field trips in the afternoons. I also have a toddler and I can't spend all day on one child's school.

I schedule time limits for each assignment. Whatever is not done in the time period gets put aside until school is over. After school if we are going to the park, his work comes with us. He is not allowed to play until he completes it. After a few times of this he caught on quickly and now almost always finishes in the allotted time. If he finishes early he is allowed free time to do whatever.

I give him 40 minutes for math, 30 minutes for grammar and spelling, 30 minutes for reading and comprehension, 10 minutes of daily flashcards, 10 minutes for Vocabulary, 15 minutes writing, and 1 hour for History and Science (we rotate them on different days.) The other subjects are never an issue time wise.

[frogpond1]

homeschoolers get stuck in it. Personally I think it needs to begin around grade 3. Meeting daily, weekly and longer term deadlines is something that is learned better when younger. I've had the most trouble in my 2 day school with kids who have come in at 6th grader or older. It seems like bad habits are cemented by that age.

 

So in my home we have always used a daily checklist. Even if the assignments are only in mom's head your chld can still check off all of his/her daily subjects. In the two day school all work is due on Monday. I think that if your child's weekly work isn't done than he/she needs to spend some of his/her weekend time finishing it. That way moms can finish their days at a reasonable hour and kids have traditional homework to do on their own free time.

 

I make my checklist on excel on Sunday evening for the week to come. That way I have flexibility. I just go in and change page numbers or assignments etc. It is pretty easy. Then I print them out on bright colored paper so they don't get lost. These go on a clipboard and become a part of their daily routine. I do not trust the check marks however, it takes daily training for the first few years to really get a child independent. By 5th grade the habits are pretty ingrained and now Jr. High can go well. I learned by mistakes on child #1 and child 2, 3, and 4 are reinforcing my newer philosophies.

 

Even child #1 is very successful now in 8th/9th grade, but it took him longer than his younger brother. (I have 3 boys and a girl.)

 

Rabbit trails are great, but kids can delay the excitement of a rabbit trail until the regular work is done. I am so thankful to whoever turned me onto checklists. I probably read about them here, but we've done at least 6 very successful years with checklists and I've gone from a very global random life to an enjoyable more linear, more accountable life. (Even with checklists you can enjoy randomness. I don't make my kids start with a certain subject daily etc. Any subject missed the day before needs to be started first the next day and all boxes need to be done before Sunday night is over.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

Hello from St. Scholastica's School for Silly Scholars . . . home of the stereotypical homeschooler!

 

This is something that we struggle with. W/o the pressure of external deadlines, we tend to achieve less. We have Math and Latin online and with both of those come deadlines.

 

Remarkably, my daughter has learned that deadlines are her friends. She likes them and craves more. This astonishes me.

 

This is a new revalation this year. We discussed this at length and have decided to try to find more ways to incorporate this external pressure. External pressure is, for now, the only way we have found to motivate us to meet the deadlines.

 

So far, this is what we have. Latin and Math we already have going. That is what revealed to my girl that she likes the deadlines. We have also done an online writing course. That kept us on deadlines and was fine but that was a one time, short course. To continue the deadline effect, I've decided to have a writing club and teach writing (a la Writer's Jungle). This way we have the external pressure w/o paying for the class. We're adding German this year, too and will have a class with a hired tutor and another family. When we found her, I told her that assigning homework, applying deadlines, and taking up the work were important to us.

 

We aren't finding ways to apply deadlines to everything but we did choose writing specifically b/c it is a particular sore spot.

 

I dont' know if all that stuff is any help to you but it is indeed something that we struggle with and these are some steps we've taken to try to help ourselves out. We don't have the time, money, or inclination to arrange for external deadlines for everything but we prioritize and then work it out for the ones that are highest priority.

[dhudson]

Wow, really? We run a First Lego League team with hs'ers and public schoolers and the hs'ers are far more likely to get things done on time.

 

At our home, by 3rd grade my kids have a daily white board list of tasks and by 7th a weekly checklist. They can choose order of things done but it must be done by a certain time or the workload becomes heavier and privileges taken away. They must complete a classic each week as well as have piano goals and Bible Bowl responsibilities done. We have yearly projects and reports that they are responsible for as well.

[MamaT]

My dc simply know it is not an option. There is no free time until schoolwork is done. We have activities almost every afternoon, and they know if schoolwork isn't done they simply don't go.

 

When my now high schooler got to the age that he had independent longer-term assignments, he began to procrastinate. Not getting to go where he had planned on the weekend let him know we meant business. It only happened once or twice.

[8filltheheart]

I guess the answer lies in when your kids start working independently enough that they actually aren't finished with an assignment when you tell them they are.

 

For example, I can't imagine my 3rd grader not meeting a "math" deadline b/c they do a math assignment until it is done.

 

My kids have writing assignments that are due at the end of each week starting around 4th grade.......that is really the first thing that they do where a deadline is even applicable.

 

They are all given daily lesson plans with due dates for larger projects (but this really only applies to older grades)

 

Typically it is my high schoolers that get behind schedule. Whether or not it bothers me is completely dependent on why they have gotten behind. If it is my fault (which was the case for my 10th grader this yr b/c she ended up caring a lot of the load for a few weeks), then I let it slide. Otherwise, there are consequences.

 

I do not foresee this being a problem with any of my kids (and wasn't for my oldest.)

[jenniferlee]

My 12 yo dd will dawdle on and on. Last week I told her no dinner if your school work isn't done. Well 6:00 came and we all sat down to eat and she got sent into the other room to finish up a few things. Took her about 15 minutes...

The rest of the week went much smoother - she actually said "I learned my lesson from yesterday!" as she quickly got through all of her assignments.

 

Jen

[LynnG in Arizona]

I haven't read all of the replies, but I do agree this is a valid concern for many homeschooled students.

 

For *us*, the answer was outsourcing some classes starting in high school. (Mainly through the Potter's School and Pennsylvania Homeschoolers.) We've also had each of our teen daughters complete a regular college class at some point during high school. Those outside deadlines and grading rules have been great lessons!

 

My eldest daughter just successfully completed her first year of college and did well, grade-wise. She's been listening to my lectures for several years now about how organization skills are almost half the battle in college! ;)

[dragons in the flower bed]

the typical rap against homeschoolers is that they aren't good at working on deadline and getting things done in a timely fashion.

 

I used to try to beat that stereotype but I gave up. Now I don't tell people I was homeschooled, instead.

[brijen97]

Its funny because my husband and I just discussed this recently...I brought it up! I attended a private christan school for grades 4-6. We worked in workbooks at our own pace...a lot of what we did was rather like homeschooling but in a school setting if that makes sense. One of the best things I took away from the experience was time management, goal setting and organizational skills. We had to plan our week out (with teacher assistance and approval) and stick to the plan. If something wasn't completed then you had homework if it was completed then you were all set. The best was to get everything accomplished by the end of the week then no homework for the weekend! If you managed to complete everything early in the day then you had free time for reading or whatever at school. We decided that eventually we will work our daughter up to this and then hold her to the goals she sets for herself. She is in first grade right now and I have started giving her an assignment sheet daily. She knows we have to finish it or she won't have time for other things she wants to do. I hope to start involving her in planning by the end of third grade. I keep thinking in my head...if I could do it then so can she.

[MerryAtHope]

I don't know that it's a big issue to work on with 2nd graders, but most of the time I do say "accomplish X amount today," and they do it. Whether it's a page, or a certain amount of time spent on a subject etc..., they don't have free time until they've accomplished that.

 

This year is probably the first time we've had a bigger deadline though. My kids both entered a science fair. They had to do experiments, project boards, long research reports etc..., all by a deadline. We broke it down week by week what had to be accomplished on the project. Now, would they have this skill without me driving it? Maybe not--frankly I didn't have it in college. I waited until the night before and pulled an all-nighter most of the time. I'm hoping to establish better habits in my kids, LOL! But just as the research project had a deadline for the science fair, I don't see any reason why other projects can't have deadlines that are firm & that our kids would have to be responsible for coming up with a plan and then accomplishing it. I think if we let them know ahead of time what a deadline is, and that these are not negotiable like other things for school are--and give them practice doing that, they will be prepared for college. Hopefully better than I was, LOL!

 

Merry :-)

[hlee]

Thanks to everyone who has commented so far! I just wanted to add that I do create a daily assignment sheet for my son. But sometimes, I feel like I underestimate how much time it will take for him to finish everything. There are some days the handwriting or copywork take more time for whatever reason, etc. Math takes longer some days and less time others. So then I'm stuck trying to figure out, did he do enough, or did he waste time which is why he is not done with everything and it's already 3 p.m.? Maybe as the years go by I'll have a better understanding of how much time certain things take, but for this first year I'm still feeling pretty hazy about it. I just was wondering if 2nd grade/young elementary is appropriate for starting to think about time management....seems to go a little bit against a more Charlotte Mason approach that believes in more time for young children to play, etc. Anyway...would love to keep reading more feedback from anyone! Thanks...

[mycalling]

My DsD12 is going to start planning her own schedule with my guidance this year. She will have to make her own goals and decide her own consequences for if she doesn't meet them. We'll see how it goes.:glare: This is definitely something I need to work on in our homeschool.

[G5052]

I only found this a few months ago, but we pretty much do same stepwise progression: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/teaching-students-to-work-independently.

 

A lot of is also about expectations and appropriately having them figure out how to get specific work done. That's hard too.;)

[SFKC]

Fascinating thread, thanks for starting it!

 

Our experience is similar to other posters. Some subjects my kid just inhales, and she’d do them 24/7 if she could. Others I find myself driving, setting expectations, constantly wondering if I’ve expected and encouraged enough from her.

 

Her weekly contact with former PS classmates through her soccer team remind her that ‘regular school’ kids have deadlines and expectations. Now, I realize she’s only 8. And I, like other posters, have high hopes that self-motivation in all of the remaining subjects will kick in next year—or certainly by 5th grade, ha!

 

The daily “did she do enough?†question is an interesting one. Again, compared with her PS peers, I think my child is getting more in terms of breadth and depth in every subject, every day – this was a key intention when we started this journey. I think it helps to understand the yearly arc of the curriculum you choose, and ensuring it’s at least as rigorous as what his/her peers are experiencing in other settings. And in measuring daily progress, it is also key to recognize and celebrate the enriching activities, field trips, and other projects that other alternatives could not allow.

 

My kid is still quite young. I am not sure how I’ll handle the rigor I agree is necessary in the later grades to be taken seriously for college success and beyond. I trust that the skills I’ll need to ensure she has the skillset she needs, will grow alongside.

 

Check in with me next year.

[JadeOrchidSong]

This is a wonderful thread. I need to start this with my younger ds. He is always wanting to play instead of doing his lessons. I think maybe taking some outside classes will help, too.

J

[Harriet Vane]

I have been homeschooling for eight years, and in the course of that time have taught in many, many group settings as well. Timeliness and deadlines HAVE been a concern, with each. and. every. group of homeschoolers I have taught, and it has become my personal pet peeve.

 

For kids of any age, I would start by saying that in any outside commitments (co-op or Scouts or whatever), treat the deadlines and expectations of that group as absolutely concrete. All too often homeschoolers expect to exert the same kind of control in outside programs that they do for their own, private homeschool. Obviously there are exceptions for emergencies or illness, but generally speaking start by training the kids to meet their outside obligations in a timely fashion, without complaint.

 

In the younger years (and even now with my 7th grader to some extent) deadlines are not a part of our homeschool--we just do the next thing, and do it until we're done. It all seems to work out in the end. However, I have found as dd gets older that exerting deadlines for larger projects has been really helpful for her. She loves writing, so I might assign her to finish a story over the course of a week. Because she loves doing this, she is great about planning time to do it every day.

 

I wouldn't worry about it too much with your second grader, except to carefully meet your outside deadlines in a responsible way. However, as your kids get into the logic stage, you might just start by giving a few projects with specific deadlines. Also as your child gets older, put more responsibility for completing the daily checklist on his/her shoulders. For me, there has been a time or two that my checklist was unrealistic--most of the time I hold to the deadline (finishing the checklist) but tell dd something like, "I can see this was a bit heavy of a workload for today. I'll revise tomorrow's list so that it's not quite so much time." Yes, it was a hard day, but as long as those days don't happen frequently it can be a good training tool for life. The balance to that is that yes, I have also given mercy if the workload I assigned was waaaaay too much or if a concept or project ends up being more complicated/difficult/confusing than I thought it would be.

[laughing lioness]

I would tend to agree with your dh. Inge Cannon tells a (true) story of how a certain number of homeschool grads were admitted to the A.F. Acadmey one year (no small feat). Only a very small percentage were allowed to stay after one year. The other kids did excellent work, just never turned it in on time.

 

I try not to be legalistic but I do maintian a "on task" rule when we are working on school. No discussions about stuff that's not school related, no banter, etc.

With the older kids it gets harder. Life is so distracting and they have all of these hormones/growth spurt seasons to manage, and they do work much more independently. I'm on #3 now and I am MUCH more diligent about checking what he's done in a day. (the first 2 were girls and I was pregnant/nursing or moving throughout both of their high school careers- i don't recommend that ;)). We are doing some on-line courses and stuff through co-op so there is external accountability (my kids at least don't like to be the only ones in class without their work done).

[angela in ohio]

We start the shift to long-term deadlines in 6th-8th grade. Before that, the longest deadline they have is finishing their math or grammar by the time we meet the next day.

 

I do think homeschoolers have issues with this. I have taught outside classes - academic classes for young teens - and I saw them struggle with this. When I was teaching just one or two co-op classes, I just had to suffer, sending home pleading notes to their parents. This year, I taught a group all their subjects and I had them a full day, so I was able to work on study skills, including time management, with them.

 

I don't think the over-reaction you sometimes see - start making kindergarteners or even third graders work independently - is the answer. Children become developmentally ready for these skills in junior high or high school. If you work on them deliberately for even just the four years of high school, they will be fine.

 

I'd say that up to about age 11-13, just focus on modeling for them how we keep our commitments. A pp mentioned scouts and such, and that is a good way to start. Leave work at the end of teaching a subject that needs to be completed by the next day.

 

At 11-13 yo or so, start assigning some things for longer time, get them a planner and teach them to use it, and deliberately teach the necessary skills (breaking a task down, planning, etc.) I started teaching some subjects one or two days a week in big chunks (like block scheduling in schools.) So for grammar, we would meet once a week, I would teach six lessons (which was more efficient for me,) and then they would be 'due' the next week by our meeting time. I also assign a lot of papers. In the beginning, I went through the steps with them. Now they are due in a week or two, and they know what steps are necessary.

 

For high school, I plan to assign a variety of papers and projects that are due in gradually longer and longer time periods (up to a semester.) I am giving dd a syllabus for each class, and I will put papers and projects on there.

 

I think some of the problems of the homeschooler who doesn't meet deadlines well is because of parents who don't plan ahead. I think it is important to think of the skill you want in the end and work toward it in small steps, but that requires planning.

[Oney Jones]

Interesting thoughts.

I really don't have much to add, I just would like to post enough that I'm not a larvae anymore. ;)

 

Well wait. I think there is probably a lot of concern about this issue; however, some of it might be personality.

 

In public school there are those who are not turning in the work (my nephew) and have no idea or desire to make a deadline. High schools have sports/activity eligibility requirements so if a kid is not up to par s/he doesn't play ball on Friday night.

[usetoschool]

seems to go a little bit against a more Charlotte Mason approach that believes in more time for young children to play, etc.

 

work while you work, play while you play...

 

When we are doing school work the kids and I am focused on just that. I am at the table working with them. If I wander off to try to fit in other stuff things get sloppy. We just work less when they are younger so there is more play. We are serious about school time (it is still fun and happy but those school hours are sacred). They just grow up doing it that way. I think starting young with a routine is a good idea. You don't want to be fighting hormones and schedules and all of that teenage angst at the same time.

[susankenny]

Honestly, I've never even heard of this sterotype for homeschoolers. Typical stereotypes I hear would be fundamental, religious, weird, not current with styles & trends, socially awkward, etc. I've heard quite a few whoppers. I have never come across the sterotype of one's inability to focus or stay on task though. I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't worry about that being an issue for my kids. We homeschool, but we also live in the real world. We have demands, schedules, classes, expectations, deadlines, etc. (like everyone else on the planet). Most homeschoolers I know that have gone onto college had no issues with class/teacher demands. Also, the ones I know that have attended college (or plan to attend) begin preparing for that years before they actually graduate. So in my humble opinion, this stereotype (if any truth exist to it) is only for a small percentage. And I'm sure there is an equal percentage of public school kids entering college with enough issues of their own too.:)

 

Susan

Edited May 25, 2010 by susankenny

[angela in ohio]

I just was wondering if 2nd grade/young elementary is appropriate for starting to think about time management

 

Yep, too young, imho, other than the usual foundation of teaching responsibility and respect.

[joannqn]

I just gave my 10 and 8 year olds a big end of the year project. They are doing a project on an insect of choice and must include information on a long list of topics about that insect. There must be a diagram or model labeling the exterior anatomy, at a minimum. I'll be giving them a rubric for the written portion so they know what must be included for that portion. There's also an oral component for which they can be as creative as they wish but must include certain information, as well. There will be another rubric for that. I told them I would be available for any help that they ask for. Finally, there is a set due date.

 

Next year, they will get regular deadlines throughout the year, which was part of the original plan.

[Jonibee]

In my world, having taught a number of co-op classes, I see the deadline issue too often becoming the impetus to lowering expectations by the parent -- in other words, we are not "legal" by the state to give grades, so the grades given by the teacher are only "suggested." The parent can give whatever grade they want on the transcript.

 

So when the teacher finds students not meeting deadlines, or missing assignments altogether for a variety of excuses, then the parent gives them an 'A' anyway . . . . well, that student goes off to college learning nothing about commitments and deadlines.

 

I will not be that kind of parent. My kids start about 2nd or 3rd grade -- we work from a list. The commitment at that early age is to complete the work. Maybe it gets shifted to tomorrow, but we don't "skip" the work just because our day got away from us. Sometimes we do 2 days worth so we can have Friday off. That type of thing is learning to meet a deadline. I am not sure it means keep this date, do or die in the elementary grades, so much as it means we do school every day, we work from a list and we complete our work. We have weekly goals and celebrate, however small, when we reach them.

 

I think it is more of a commitment issue than a "deadline" issue. There are so many attitudes assumed by one who doesn't meet deadlines. Disrespect is number 1. Finishing what you start is a huge issue for all ages (I love that about my husband and his home projects!) At the college level (or in co-ops), it also is respect for the teacher, for the school, for the money being paid out for their education (their parents).

 

Sorry for carrying on. It's a pet peeve for me, too. I have seen waaayyy too many homeschoolers turn not meeting deadlines into doing very little school at all. Use a list and require it to be used. That will take you far! ;)

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

Someone may have mentioned this already, but I would add:

 

Don't allow your children to participate in activities unless those activities reinforce home values. He needs consistent standards.

 

Our boys are in Civil Air Patrol and taekwondo because both organizations emphasize accountability, progress, and respect.

 

Our boys are not in our church Sunday school or youth group because those organizations have low expectations and no accountability. They also reinforce attitudes of selfishness and entitlement by overpraising and rewarding children for behaviors that should be basic.

 

I've heard that some homeschool coops have the same problems with disrespect, poor attendance, and poor performance. I would not sign my child up for an environment like that.

[mom2boys030507]

I am not suprised by this sterotype, however I do think many kids have problems meeting deadlines.

 

My oldest loves to work independantly. He loves having an assignment list for the day. We do dialy quiet time in our house for two hours everyday. I have started assigning his reading during that time. He has to finish his chapter or two before quiet time is over or he needs to stay in his room until the reading is done. I think that has only happened once. I know he is really young but he knows that mommy and daddy have to get things done by certain times so I see it as only naturaly that he would start to learn that same skill.

[PeterPan]

Helen, without reading having read the whole thread, I can assure you this same criticism has come up here on the boards from homeschooling moms who are also professors, teach in co-ops, etc. However I don't think you should take this right criticism of older students and apply it overhandedly to a 7 yo. There is a WIDE spectrum of what is normal in a 7 yo for work, and it's not formulaic. You could reduce something to a discipline matter that is really a matter of your mother gut and heart. You as a mom will know if he is dawdling or has other issues, and you'll tackle them as they come. As he gets older, you'll find yourself naturally setting deadlines, transferring loads to build independence, using planners and creating checklists, etc. Don't muddle your first year with such a young child with worries over that! It will come with TIME, and you'll do it naturally, just as your own process of maturing and stretching him, never fear. It's an issue to be aware of certainly, but it's something for the future, a goal to work toward, not now.

 

In K5, 1st, and part of 2nd we used more mom-driven things like pocket charts to guide our day. Then we switched over to daily checklists. Now we use daily or weekly checklists but with weekly tasks that she is to remember are coming up. SWB has a whole conference talk on building this independence and the stages of it. You can probably get the audio through PHP. You build it naturally. The book summaries of 1st grade become nicer book reports in 4th and 5th. And at that point you wean them, getting them to where they chose their book on Monday and know to have it typed and ready to turn in on Friday. You'll grow into this naturally.

 

Homeschooling has come a long way, and the classical structure and methods you see used around here are especially conducive to creating that sense of accountability, structure, and expectation. They're used to doing the work, and you just naturally wean them from you telling them when to them scheduling it for themselves. You'll get there. :)

 

And yes, we've had days when dd couldn't go to her Saturday activities or was late because she hadn't finished her checklist or met deadlines. We have deadlines. But we didn't do that at 7. We grew into it. :)

[beezus]

We use weekly checklists around here. On the weekend I prepare a checklist for the coming week. When we started homeschooling we discussed that what was on the schedule was expected to get done that week. Sometimes if my dd is needing more time on a certain thing I will set it over until the next week, but NOT if she is simply griping. Needing to work on something more to understand it or wanting to follow a bunny trail on some interesting topic is different from just blowing off your work, or saying it's stupid and not doing it. I'm amenable to trying a different approach, but the basic topics need to be covered. Maybe others are less structured than we are, but this seems to work for us. On days when we just can't focus at home, we pack up our things and go to the public library to work for a while, to get a change of atmosphere and there are fewer distractions.

 

Kathleen

[PeterPan]

Thanks to everyone who has commented so far! I just wanted to add that I do create a daily assignment sheet for my son. But sometimes, I feel like I underestimate how much time it will take for him to finish everything. There are some days the handwriting or copywork take more time for whatever reason, etc. Math takes longer some days and less time others. So then I'm stuck trying to figure out, did he do enough, or did he waste time which is why he is not done with everything and it's already 3 p.m.? Maybe as the years go by I'll have a better understanding of how much time certain things take, but for this first year I'm still feeling pretty hazy about it. I just was wondering if 2nd grade/young elementary is appropriate for starting to think about time management....seems to go a little bit against a more Charlotte Mason approach that believes in more time for young children to play, etc. Anyway...would love to keep reading more feedback from anyone! Thanks...

 

Helen, there are a variety of ways to handle this. What I try to do each year (or actually semester, basically 3 times a year) is to go through my list, assign times to each thing, and see if my load is sensible. The usual suggestion is grade plus one. So if he was a 1st grader this year (and turned 7), then your time frame would have been 2 hours total for EVERYTHING. That means two hours for language arts, math, science, history, read alouds, etc. etc. etc. Now if you consider at that age your read alouds are probably still in the 30 minute range a day, you're really only talking 1 1/2 hours of academics. And then maybe a 1/2 hour of that a day is your gravy stuff (history, science, alternating days). So that means you have one hour a day of math and LA. Then you go through and think about how long each of his LA and math tasks basically take him on a day when he's really not dawdling. Not when he's super-motivated by the waterpark, but just when he's working normally, how long does the handwriting or math or whatever take? Then you put those times beside everything and add them up. When the total goes too high (in this case over one hour total for math and LA), then you CHOP.

 

That's the first thing I do. That keeps me out of LaLa land and puts me back into sensible land. So then when the lesson is a fuzz longer, you're still probably in a reasonable amount of time, kwim? IF you kept your starting point reasonable, then a longer lesson here or there WON'T kill him. It only kills him when you were already maxed out on everything. :lol:

 

Then what do you do when you have that sensible plan and he blows it up by taking forever? Well you pull out your CM tricks. You set a timer, sit with him, and tell him he's DONE when the timer goes off so long as he works and stays focused. That eliminates the mom planned too much problem or the kid overwhelmed by the length of the assignment problem. Remember, you know at this point how long the normal lesson is supposed to take (say 25 min. for math at that age, which fits that time slot you made earlier in your sensibility check). So if he starts getting overwhelmed and the lessons are taking too long, you break them up with the timer. I did that quite a bit with my dd at the very age where you are. Oxo makes a terrific little timer that even lets you enter the digits for the time. I got mine at the hardware store, but you can find it on amazon.

 

When the issue is harder material that they just need to focus on, bribery my dear, use bribery. Food works in our house, and sometimes I do sleuthing type things with rewards and stages. All depends on how crazy I feel. At Halloween you can get frosty coupons for Wendys. Right now I have a junior size free frosty key fob to get one with any purchase. Or trips to the park or zoo. Just anything that motivates! You're not yet at that stage where he has siblings to compete with or enticing him to hurry. Give it a couple years and that may happen.

 

Now the thing I want to say about dawdling is that sometimes there's a REASON, which is why I said it's not something formulaic, something you simply discipline over or put on a chart. Sometimes it's a discipline issue I suppose, but I would really use your mother gut and mommy antennae to ascertain WHY it is happening. Kids are SO willing to please, wanting to please, that when it's not working, I would ask why. Things can crop up with vision problems, need for OT, allergies, all kinds of things you don't expect, and it shows up in their behavior. These are little individuals, each unique, not a factory replicated model following specs, and none of us is immune to having that happen in our house. For instance, just last night I was reading about a certain thing called a "retained primitive reflex" that would cause little children to wiggle in their chairs and feel exquisitely uncomfortable. How sad if that happened with our kids and we thought it was a DISCIPLINE problem, not physical! So you can't be arbitrary in these things. You really want to go with your heart. If you think something is wrong or there's a reason, there probably is. Your CONNECTION to your child is what makes you a great teacher for him, so use that.

 

Have fun! The young years are so much fun. Use curriculum less and have fun more. Focus on the basics, surely, but then have fun. :)

 

PS. If you're terribly curious, that particular reflex is the Spinal Galant Reflex. It should disappear infancy, but when retained it can cause bedwetting, tag sensitivity in the pants, and chair squirminess. Amazing!

Edited May 25, 2010 by OhElizabeth

[johnandtinagilbert]

I'm sad to say I knew that about home schoolers, but didn't know other people did :)...:glare:...:confused:

 

Totally common in co-op settings that assignments were not complete (or started) or poorly completed via last minute or late night practices. I saw it in all elementary years and also middle grades (our co-op wasn't old enough in membership for high school) that deadlines could not be met, even by moms.

 

I think as homeschoolers we tend to live in our own worlds and sometimes lean a little far towards freedom, as a principle b/c we can, and then fall off balance on other areas like promptness, deadlines or time management.

 

We start early like everyone else with pocket charts, then checklists, then personal scheduling. In about 4th or 5th grade, we begin with logging assignments. Once they get through this for about a year, they understand the idea of individualized lessons, then they can plan ahead, which we work on through middle school. It's my hope...although not seeing it happen just yet...that we'll be descent on time management by 10th or 11th grade, as I hope to outsource to the local CC by then :) I hate to admit this...so shhhhhh....but even with all the preliminaries, it's still a struggle with my teens. I am hoping that they'll grow out of it as their foggy teen minds disperse, at least that's the hope the lovely ladies on the high school board reassure me with :) and I trust them :). My kids are great...just drivin' me a lil' crazy with not getting things in on time!

 

Fingers crossed...I hate, hate, hate, when my children don't do what I teach them and I look like a slacker mom...some may say it's embarrassing, but I say, they're not honoring their mother with this behavior b/c I teach them better!

 

SO, I'll keep tryin' to present us all well once my dc get there!