How to Approach? DD16 and shaving...

[tikitorch]

DD16 went to an end of the school year pool party over the weekend. She went with a couple of her close friends. From what I gather happened, a couple of the boys were teasing my daughter, calling her some off colored remarks based on em, lack of shaving down there. How do I go about approaching her about the need to shave? It's been a hectic week, but I need to do this soon, any advice is appreciated.

[Ferdie]

I would tell her there are a couple of options for maintaning her bikini line during the summer. Let her pick how she wants to handle it.

[Laurie4b]

Shaving down there not worth the infected hair follicles, itching, etc. I used to trim with scissors to avoid those effects, but now I buy a different style bathing suit. How about a bathing suit that covers the bikini line like one with shorts or a skirted bottom?

 

Sorry about the teasing of your dd. That stinks.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Has she said that she wants to shave? How did she feel about the teasing? Did she tell you about it or did you hear about it from a third party? I would think that the teasing alone may be sufficient to make her want to shave. If she wants to shave and already shaves her legs it won't be much of a stretch for her to continue on up.

 

Did you mean "how do I have the conversation?" or "how do I teach her how to perform this task?" I think that, at 16 she can probably figure it out. (or has she never shaved before?)

[ChristusG]

It can be a pain to keep a bikini line trimmed. She could wear some board shorts over her suit.

[Greeny]

I would tell her there are a couple of options for maintaning her bikini line during the summer. Let her pick how she wants to handle it.

 

I agree. I would tell her that she isn't forced to do anything about it, but that it is part of swimsuit season and might be in her best interest.

 

It might be a fun idea to schedule a mother-daughter bikini wax at a salon for her first time. That way you guys are in it together and get to have a bonding moment and maybe go out for lunch afterward. The estitician can also give her pointers on home maintenance.

[Moxie]

I agree. I would tell her that she isn't forced to do anything about it, but that it is part of swimsuit season and might be in her best interest.

 

It might be a fun idea to schedule a mother-daughter bikini wax at a salon for her first time. That way you guys are in it together and get to have a bonding moment and maybe go out for lunch afterward. The estitician can also give her pointers on home maintenance.

 

 

I've never seen "fun" and "bikini wax" in the same sentance!

[kmacnchs]

:iagree:with everyone. We wear boy-cut bathing suits or board shorts over our bathing suits...

[Greeny]

I've never seen "fun" and "bikini wax" in the same sentance!

 

 

Ha ha ha ha! :lol: Well, I think there is something very "fun" about being "in it together" with others, especially your children. Regardless of the momentary sting it is a fun way to have a joint experience.

[Greeny]

And another thing, I don't think it's fair to force her to ruin the look of her suit by wearing boy/board shorts as an alternative to shaving. Perhaps this idea should be presented to her as an alternative to hair removal, but not a be all end all solution.

[Heather in Neverland]

Doesn't seem like too touchy of a conversation to me...ask her if she would rather wear some kind of suit that covers it up, shave it or get it waxed? I have shaved my biking line for decades until recently when I started getting it waxed (so much easier, lasts longer, and it really doesn't hurt THAT bad).

[J-rap]

***

Edited February 28, 2023 by J-rap

[SproutMamaK]

If you want to make your life easier (and not just your daughter, but anyone here who hates shaving like me) I love this stuff.

 

http://perfumela.com/shopexd.asp?id=8313

 

Stinks up your bathroom, but works like a charm. Just spread it over your hair line before you shower, take your shower, and use a washcloth to take it all off at the end - make sure you get the mild stuff, though, the regular can be inflammatory if you leave it on for too long.

[newlifemom]

Ha ha ha ha! :lol: Well, I think there is something very "fun" about being "in it together" with others, especially your children. Regardless of the momentary sting it is a fun way to have a joint experience.

 

Kind of a misery loves company, eh? :tongue_smilie:

[Orthodox6]

Don't tear down your daughter for having an independent spirit and enough self-confidence to appear as she feels is right for herself. Shaving is a cultural accretion, forced on girls before they even have a chance to think things through and decide what they believe about the issue. If anything, you need to speak to the parents of the offensive boys. Your daughter needs to know that the decision is hers. Support her. If the style of suit is too revealing of her private area, obtain a different suit. Simple solution.

Edited May 11, 2010 by Orthodox6

[mysticamethyst]

Greeny I need to visit your salon if waxing+bikini=fun. :lol:

 

Seriously, I would just try to gently explain that cleaning up down there is part of swim season for girls. In recent years it has gotten much easier with the boy short swimsuits and the skirt bottoms. It will depend on what she wants, she is 16 afterall. There are several options for her and I am sorry for the teasing, teen boys can be harsh. :glare:

[fivetails]

If you want to make your life easier (and not just your daughter, but anyone here who hates shaving like me) I love this stuff.

 

http://perfumela.com/shopexd.asp?id=8313

 

Stinks up your bathroom, but works like a charm. Just spread it over your hair line before you shower, take your shower, and use a washcloth to take it all off at the end - make sure you get the mild stuff, though, the regular can be inflammatory if you leave it on for too long.

 

Beard remover for black men? :laugh:

 

If that stuff is anything like Nair/Neet/whatever, I wouldn't touch it.

 

I put that Nair stuff on my eyebrows to make stripes (insert 'would you jump off a cliff if your friends did?' lecture here) when I was 15 and it actually burned my skin. Like, red scabby ouch. Luckily, the hair grew back.

[SproutMamaK]

Beard remover for black men? :laugh:

 

If that stuff is anything like Nair/Neet/whatever, I wouldn't touch it.

 

I put that Nair stuff on my eyebrows to make stripes (insert 'would you jump off a cliff if your friends did?' lecture here) when I was 15 and it actually burned my skin. Like, red scabby ouch. Luckily, the hair grew back.

 

Yup! I guess if you look at it, the hair is kind of similar... Um, no offense to African American bears intended by that! But obviousyl since it's designed to be used on a guy's face, that made sure to make the sensitive skin formula carefully, so there's no redness or swelling. Not like Nair at all, though - I tried that stuff as a teen - baaaaaaaad idea. ;) Hence the reason I tried the mild/sensitive skin stuff.

 

I can't believe I'm discussing my girly parts on a public internet forum full of strangers. My mother would have a heart attack.

[Haiku]

How do I go about approaching her about the need to shave?

 

I would help my daughter select a swimsuit with a skirt or one of the swimsuits that has shorts rather than telling my daughter to shave her bikini line.

 

But then again, I don't shave at all. Anywhere. Except my head. :D

 

ETA: And I wear this swimsuit.

 

Tara

Edited May 11, 2010 by TaraTheLiberator

[angela in ohio]

I think the bigger issue is talking to her about the boys calling her names. She needs to know your feelings about that, so that she does not come to think that it is acceptable behavior.

[Heidi7Sue]

I have a swimsuit from Land's End that is a tank top and shorts. I absolutely love it.

[Laura Corin]

Was she upset by the teasing? It should be up to her what action she wants to take. If she's not worried, then that's up to her. If she is worried, then I'd offer her the option of board shorts instead of shaving.

 

Laura

[Pretty in Pink]

I don't see why it's really a touchy subject...? Obviously she is aware that she has been made fun of about her bikini line. If it bothered her then I'd let her know there are some solutions including shaving, waxing, or just getting a different style of suit. No biggie.

 

I've never had a problem with shaving the bikini line and I do it a few times a week, year round.

[ThreeBlessings]

I agree with poster's suggesting a different cut of bathing suit. Boy shorts, skirt, or board shorts over. That's what I prefer and my 10 year old dd prefers to be covered too, not that she needs to worry over shaving or being teased for it yet. I'd offer to take her shopping for a new suit if you can afford it.

[ThreeBlessings]

I think the bigger issue is talking to her about the boys calling her names. She needs to know your feelings about that, so that she does not come to think that it is acceptable behavior.

 

:iagree:

[wapiti]

I don't see why it's really a touchy subject...? Obviously she is aware that she has been made fun of about her bikini line. If it bothered her then I'd let her know there are some solutions including shaving, waxing, or just getting a different style of suit. No biggie.

:iagree:

 

FWIW, no one, certainly not my mother, ever discussed grooming in this area, and I'm quite embarrassed when I picture the forest escaping from the edges of the swimsuit when I was that age! I would have appreciated someone laying out the options when I was that age. I had no idea what the possibilities were, I had no sisters and I was rather shy.

[Melissa in Australia]

I would help my daughter select a swimsuit with a skirt or one of the swimsuits that has shorts rather than telling my daughter to shave her bikini line.

 

But then again, I don't shave at all. Tara

 

:iagree: I have never shaved that area, I wear a mini sarong over my swimmers. I even swim with it on.

I have always thought that the swimmers should be designed better, so they actually cover that area. saving doesn't stop that area being exposed by skimpy swimmers!

[Cindyg]

If anything, you need to speak to the parents of the offensive boys.

 

I agree. For the boys to be commenting on her "down there" is incredibly rude. Way out of line! Totally inappropriate!

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I've never seen "fun" and "bikini wax" in the same sentance!

 

:iagree:

 

Greeny I need to visit your salon if waxing+bikini=fun. :lol:

 

 

:iagree:

[emeraldjoy]

Don't tear down your daughter for having an independent spirit and enough self-confidence to appear as she feels is right for herself. Shaving is a cultural accretion, forced on girls before they even have a chance to think things through and decide what they believe about the issue. If anything, you need to speak to the parents of the offensive boys. Your daughter needs to know that the decision is hers. Support her. If the style of suit is too revealing of her private area, obtain a different suit. Simple solution.

I so agree with this.

[RanchGirl]

If you want to make your life easier (and not just your daughter, but anyone here who hates shaving like me) I love this stuff.

 

http://perfumela.com/shopexd.asp?id=8313

 

Stinks up your bathroom, but works like a charm. Just spread it over your hair line before you shower, take your shower, and use a washcloth to take it all off at the end - make sure you get the mild stuff, though, the regular can be inflammatory if you leave it on for too long.

 

ditto that, it's available at walmart in the ethnic hair care section -- I know it sounds crazy but it really works well. Not like that Nair junk.

 

Shaving that area leads to painful red bumps for me and I'm too wimpy for waxing, plus I'd rather spend that money on other salon services, like getting my hair done.