What do you do to make your house a home....

[Mommyfaithe]

What special warm touches do you add?

 

How do you encourage tranquility and peacefulness for your family?

 

What do you do to make your family look forward to being home.

 

Any good websites or blogs that help you along in this area?

 

Thanks,

Faithe...who is determined to make these bad economic times a huddle and NOT a hurdle.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Candles with nice, homey scents like cinnamon, vanilla, apple, those kinds. Throw fleece blankets in earth tones. Keeping the house looking de-cluttered and trying to keep things a little bit organized and easy to find. Keeping things like hot chocolate, tea, and baked stuff around for nights in watching movies or playing family games. Having theme nights for dinner such as Chinese food night, pizza night, Italian night, Mexican night, where we eat and then listen to music and play a game together.

 

I don't have a budget for redecorating or adding a lot of new things to our home, so I do things I can do that are basically free. I think that hominess has a lot to do with just planning and purposing to spend time as a family.

 

I remember reading books like "Little House on the Prairie" and "Little Women" and thinking that I would love to spend time in their homes because they seemed so inviting. I try to do that with our home. Make it a welcoming place for everyone, family and friends.

[Audrey]

I'm a big believer in "it's all in the attitude." I don't think you have to go out of your way to make your home a safe haven. That happens in the attitude of the people within.

 

You can only start with your own attitude and hope that others will follow your example. I don't have a magic recipe for that, though. ;) You'll have to decide for yourself what the attitude should be for your home.

 

In ours, there are a few very simple things.

 

Loud is not allowed. We do not yell into the next room to ask someone something and certainly not to hold a conversation that way.

 

Cuddles are priority. We are a cuddly family. With long winters, I think it's our key to sane togetherness. So there are blankets on every piece of furniture that could possibly hold more than one person. We also have big pillows that we haul out sometimes.

 

No phone call, no tv show, no computer, no game is more important than the person right in front of you. To us, that means that if we are doing something together, even just a simple conversation, that doesn't get dropped just because of a phone ringing or a tv show. You put the other things on hold.

 

Food is for talking. We eat every meal together, sitting down together, talking together. It may take us an hour or more to eat, but the meal isn't so much about the food as it is about the people eating it.

 

That all said, the attitude is still the key. :001_smile:

 

ETA: I also happen to think clutter is stressful for everyone. There is a neat thread right now about decluttering for 2010. I try to keep decluttered, but I think it might be a good practice for the whole family.

Edited January 1, 2010 by Audrey

[Guest janainaz]

Like others said, it's about the overall attitude and peace between family members. My family IS my home.

 

Until my parents divorced when I was eight years old, we had a 'home'. It was a nice house, tastefully decorated, clean, organized, etc. It was not a home though. There was no peace between my parents and my mother was miserable all the time. Her inner unhappy feelings created an atmosphere of unrest. There was no security. I truly believe that a home has everything to do with the family unit. As long as there is a lot of love and friendship, it's a place that all members of the family want to be and where friends feel welcome.

 

I do want my kids and husband to live in a home that is organized, warmly decorated and inviting. But none of that would mean anything without the secure foundation.

[coralloyd]

A mommy that is at peace ;).

 

All of our furniture is comfy and cozy, throws and pillows on everything. We also prefer carpet instead of hard floors in the living area.

 

Low lights at night, not big bright lights.

 

Sometimes I'll light candles and put on some calm music if it has been a rough day.

 

We almost always have dinner together.

 

We like to sit/lay by the fireplace, and read to each other, playgames ect..

 

A mommy that is at peace ;).

[gandpsmommy]

If you're thinking about the physical atmosphere:

 

I love having scented candles burning, both for the warm ambiance it creates and for the great scent it disperses throughout the room.

 

I also really like having a fire in our fireplace because it seems so cozy and inviting.

 

I like having soft, warm throw blankets on the furniture in each room.

 

Classical music softly playing is very soothing and, at the same time, enlivening to me.

 

I like warm paint colors (earth tones such as golds, light browns, spicy pumpkinish colors, and sage green).

 

I like to be surrounded by things that I love: paintings that make me feel vibrant (both those done by my kiddoes and those we have bought), objects of art (such as a pottery or glass vase, an antique glass candy dish that looks like a goblet in my favorite color with an artisitic design, small prints of my favorite paintings, a beautiful geode sliced in half, etc.) It almost gives me the same feeling as visiting an art museum or a neat exhibit somewhere. These things don't have to be expensive, either. For example, the art prints I cut out of an art book I purchased used on Amazon, and I framed them in beautiful wood photo frames w/mats that I found at a thrift store. The large paintings on the walls we found at a flea market. Most of these things have either been gifts, purchased at a flea market or thrift store, or found inexpensively at antique stores.

 

I like to have plants. It feels good to have something living and fresh in the room. I have some bamboo in glass vases with river stones on the computer desk. I also like to get fresh cut flowers and have them in a vase in the family room. Over the summer I get them from our yard. Other times I might occasionally purchase a bouquet at the grocery store florist shop from the $4.00 section.

[Parrothead]

What special warm touches do you add?

Candles, throws and afghans (turn you heat down so it feels good to cuddle under a throw, comfort food.

How do you encourage tranquility and peacefulness for your family?

See Audrey's above post

What do you do to make your family look forward to being home.

Home is a place to relax in the evenings. Home is the place where fun happens. Home is the place that good food is available most hours of the day.

Any good websites or blogs that help you along in this area?

Sorry, I don't have any of those handy.

Thanks,

Faithe...who is determined to make these bad economic times a huddle and NOT a hurdle.

One of the things that help us enjoy being home is that there isn't anything to do any where else since our town is in the boonies.

[Daisy]

Haa haa. When I saw the title, I immediately thought....throw toys on the floor. In my way of thinking a house becomes a home when people use it.

 

I'm not a big decorator. Not into smells and flowers and stuff to dust.

 

You'd see stacks of books, cuddly blankets, and legos.

 

You'll smell homemade popcorn and fresh squeezed OJ and maybe faintly some Christmasy smells that lingered.

 

You'd hear kids laughing, laundry drying, and the hamster running.

 

Sorry, I'm no good at that other stuff.

[Julie in CA]

I make sure that there's a soft, cozy blanket thrown over the back of the couch so that it's easy to grab and snuggle.

We pretty much always have a game out and ready to play. We like Aggravation the best.

If I don't have a game out, I have a puzzle out, that we all work on together when we have a few extra minutes.

I buy pretty smelling (but cheap!) soap for the bathrooms.

I try to have a mix of bright and dim lights, so that we can have softer lighting unless we need it brighter for a specific task.

We all have cozy slippers to wear around the house in the winter.

In the summer I try to grow flowers in the yard that I can cut for indoor bouquets, and I like to surprise my dc by leaving little vases of flowers next to their beds.

I like little touches like a small chalkboard on which I announce the dinner plan for the evening.

I like to leave photo albums out (and open) on the table, and I have a wall in my diningroom where photos of more extended family are displayed.

I keep the Christmas photos people send us on a bulletin board in a central location, so that we can think often about our loved ones who live too far away for us to see on a regular basis.

I try to make sure that the things that decorate our home have a story or meaning behind them. In other words, I have a clock in my family room, not just because it's pretty and coordinates, but also because dh and I found it on an anniversary.

Even though times are hard, it doesn't take that much more effort or $$ to set a beautiful dinner table. We drink milk from my cheapo wine glasses, and we use cloth napkins in pretty napkin rings, etc. We also eat dinner together almost every night, and all the teens make a point of being here, though they often bring friends along too(which we enjoy).

We read the Bible together after dinner, and we display a "family Bible" in a prominent place in our home.

 

I've never thought about exactly what I do that "makes our house a home". It's an interesting question, and I'm enjoying reading about what other people do! :001_smile:

[Prudent]

Frequently cull the clutter. Less stuff makes less messes and less stress.

 

Constantly picking up and putting back things as we use them throughout the day.

 

We don't have delicate, valuable or otherwise fancy furniture or decorations. All of our home can be enjoyed - we don't have any hands-off rooms.

 

Beds should be made every morning, and bedding washed frequently. Walking into a room with a clean, made-up bed at night is a more rewarding end to the day than facing a messy bed.

[Amber in AUS]

You know i think it is all in the attitude too. I have moved 7 times in the last 10 years all to go between houses that are not our forever home. Boy and i wanting and waiting for that forever home that isn't a house that will be a home. I know it is all in my head. It doesn't help that we never unpack everything because we know we are moving again. Maybe some of the military families will chime in with some great advice as they move often enough and one would imagine establish a home everytime they move. I will be watching and checking back in, but i know i need to change my thought processes on this one. Just my 2c :)

[Happy]

I agree with the others that say attitude is the number one thing. And if Mama is happy, everyone else is happier, too. So it's important for Mama to choose to be happy.

 

When I think of homes where I feel welcome and loved, I notice they are not fancy, fancy houses. They are pretty...decorated in a timely manner...and they are comfortably tidy. Not super clean, but there is not a lot of dirt in the corners. ;) There may be shoes out and certainly a project and books spread around, but you can tell someone cleans from time to time. I love a home where the 'stuff' in it means something...collections from travels, art created by someone they know. I don't want to think they went to Hobby Lobby and bought all the decor.

 

It's the people that make you feel welcome and loved. Good food...or at least food shared happily and casually is good too.

 

Yep, it's all about an attitude that says come in, we love you, kick your shoes off and stay awhile.

 

Off to clean out some corners. :D

[Donnado]

I have to agree with what others have said. Relationships are what makes my house a home. Although, I do enjoy candles and music. Blessings.:iagree:

[angela in ohio]

I make my home and family my second highest priority (after God.) I don't run off to what I want to do and chase hobbies or other activities for myself. I think this goes a long way to making a house a home. A mom is the beating heart of a home, and if her mind and love is elsewhere, something is missing in the house.

 

I work to be peaceful and content. A mom who is peaceful make a happy home.

 

For the practical side, Edith Schaeffer's books The Hidden Art of Homemaking and What is a Family? are helpful.

[Impish]

Interesting thread.

 

I've always rented. I've always refused to paint, etc. The most I do for decorating is the vinyl peel and stick cartoon characters for the kids rooms, or posters. I refuse to sink money into a house that a) I need permission (and could be denied) to do anything to, and b) isn't mine.

 

There's always a lingering feeling of 'house' vs 'home' no matter how many toys are on the floor :lol:

 

Wolf and I were talking about a house we've seen for sale. Immediately, I was talking about paint colours, etc. Because it would be OURS, and therefore worth spending money on.

 

That being said, our family is close and loving. Snuggling, laughter, playing. I will definitely take some of the tips mentioned though...I think a nice snuggy blanket on the back of the couch would be great. Right now, I'll ask one of the kids to drag theirs from their bedroom! :lol:

[rwjx2khsmj]

I think the evidence of our lives together makes our house a home. I have pictures of the kids at various ages on our walls all over the house. They are a variety of posed and candid shots and each one reflects a memory or string of memories for us. I have several areas for displaying the art and work that the children do. We have books out that we all enjoy reading together. We have photo albums that the kids love looking at and sharing with others. We have a dry erase board we use to write notes and keep track of each other. Those are the things that make our house a home and reflect our lives together.

[Mrs.MacGyver]

We are a military family and since DD10 was born, we have moved 9 times. We have lived on post, rented and owned 3 houses during all that time. I have learned so much from other wives about how to "make your house a home," but one of the biggest issues for us, is to get over the "we are just going to have to pack up and leave again soon" syndrome. Now, we only move with the things we absolutely love, and when we get to our new destination, we unpack everything immediately and settle in as fast as possible. We love to own our houses because DH is a closet architect/designer, and we try to "remake" the place to fit US. But, the absolute first thing we do in a house is fix the lighting (add dimmers, change the ambiance, etc.); that and paint seems to help so much for us. Since we do move so often, we work very hard in keeping the clutter down to the bare minimum. Our decor is made up of things that serve a purpose or at the very least, brings warm memories. Other than that, all of the other posters are right: attitude, snuggling, no screaming through the house, and being somewhat organized and simple are the things we strive for.

[Peela]

Food on the table, a smile and welcome in the mornings, everyone getting their needs for both community and privacy respected, meeting problems as they arise so things dont fester, open communication, everyone feeling equally loved,a sense of fairness, a garden and pets, little habits like dd and dh having eggs and coffee in the mornings together, everyone willing to be honest and look at themselves- even the adults...just lots of little stuff that seems little until its missing, then the whole harmony goes.

I do think it is pivotal that momma is happy...and I don't think that means she can't go out of the house for hobbies or time with friends. Some personalities have more need for external nourishment than others. Some can get enough just by being with the family, and others need a wider circle. Momma needs to have her needs met so she can then be home and present for her family, and the rest of the family need to be big enough to accomodate this.

[Mommyof4ks]

I love plants, candles, big fluffy pillows, and no clutter. Those things seem to make our house feel more 'homey'.

[kls126s]

For me, keeping the clutter down is a big step. This isn't something I'm good at :glare: but I notice that all of us are more relaxed and happy to be home when the house is tidy.

 

I think the evidence of our lives together makes our house a home.

 

I really agree with this statement too. We recently visited someone's home. It was a large, well-decorated home but both my dh and I commented after we left that it didn't feel homey. My dh said it well when he said it felt like a hotel room - there were no family pictures, no books, no kid stuff or projects around - just a beautiful, spotless house. After that evening I came home and looked around my home... lots more clutter than the home we'd just been at, but also books we love, games we play together, dog toys for playing and laughing with our pet, kid pictures on the fridge... it's our home.

[ChristusG]

As far as appearance goes, I think that warm and neutral colors make a home more inviting. We just repainted our entire home....for all the main areas of the house I chose a yellow/gold and accented with dark brown. We used to have everything painted white and I think it is much more inviting with the new color scheme.

 

I think that carpet or hardwood (with rugs) is much more inviting than a cold tile floor. My aunt/uncle have white tile floors throughout much of their main living areas and it feels kind of like a museum.

 

No clutter, yet looking like people actually live there. I have my kids drawing/art work on a bulletin board, there are shoes by the door, a few toys lying around, a blanket on the couch, etc. If there is clutter lying around, I do not feel like it feels very homey.

 

Photos. I love walking into someone's house and looking at the photos that they have displayed. I display a lot of photos in our house.

 

Meaningful mementos and decor. I have shadow boxes of our two children's hospital clothing, birth photo, first pacifier, and hospital bracelet set up on some shelves. I have wooden figures purchased from craft shows with our family members names on them. I like frogs so I have some frogs sitting around.

 

Background music can sometimes be inviting. Soft lighting (but not like a cave). My mom keeps her house like a cave and it drives me nuts LOL. Nice smells.

 

And of course family traditions, meaningful conversation, hugs/cuddles, quality time, and a secure/safe environment.

[rafiki]

.

[swimmermom3]

What special warm touches do you add?

 

How do you encourage tranquility and peacefulness for your family?

 

What do you do to make your family look forward to being home.

 

Any good websites or blogs that help you along in this area?

 

Thanks,

Faithe...who is determined to make these bad economic times a huddle and NOT a hurdle.

 

Faithe, while I am a feminist at heart I am also enough of a realist to know that in many ways "I" am the person that adds the warm touch or that encourages tranquility and peacefulness in my family. Scented candles and throw blankets won't work when I am not altogether "there" for my husband and kids. This means I am taking care of my health and finding time to do some small thing that is creative that feeds my soul. It has taken several years to beat back the perfection monster but I know now that it is the small things, the small steps. If you can find some measure of inner peace, this transfers to your home and your family. Simplify as best you can.

[IsabelC]

I'm a big believer in "it's all in the attitude." I don't think you have to go out of your way to make your home a safe haven. That happens in the attitude of the people within.

 

You can only start with your own attitude and hope that others will follow your example. I don't have a magic recipe for that, though. ;) You'll have to decide for yourself what the attitude should be for your home.

 

In ours, there are a few very simple things.

 

Loud is not allowed. We do not yell into the next room to ask someone something and certainly not to hold a conversation that way.

 

Cuddles are priority. We are a cuddly family. With long winters, I think it's our key to sane togetherness. So there are blankets on every piece of furniture that could possibly hold more than one person. We also have big pillows that we haul out sometimes.

 

No phone call, no tv show, no computer, no game is more important than the person right in front of you. To us, that means that if we are doing something together, even just a simple conversation, that doesn't get dropped just because of a phone ringing or a tv show. You put the other things on hold.

 

Food is for talking. We eat every meal together, sitting down together, talking together. It may take us an hour or more to eat, but the meal isn't so much about the food as it is about the people eating it.

 

I *love* your post and will keep those points in mind, thank you.

[MrsMe]

If you're talking about things....I despise places that are store-bought. It has all the beautiful pieces that you've seen in the store without any physical or emotional connection. A pp mentioned that it can be beautiful, but they're just things.

 

Family pictures, areas that are functional, vs pretty, natural things. I'm not a collector, but if I do collect, I want them to be useful. If I can't use them I don't want them. I want to be able to sit and use an end table without having a fear of knocking something over. I hate sterile. I like clean, but not sterile. I don't like bathrooms where you're afraid of knocking some glass thing over above the toilet! KWIM? Personal things, places you've been, things you've picked up, etc.

[luvnlattes]

I agree with the OPs that it's more about the attitude in the home. When I was growing up my closest friends always wanted to come to my house. Our house was nothing special to look at. I had 2 good friends growing up. One lived in an enormous, beautiful house. Her bedroom alone was about 3x the size of mine! My other friend's house was bigger than ours and was beautifully decorated. It could have been in a magazine. I could never figure out why these girls would always rather come to my house than their own. So I asked them. They both said it was because of my mom. She had a way of always making anyone feel welcome. She let our home be lived in (i.e. it wasn't picture perfect) and she enjoyed our conversation.

 

I'm sorry to say that same warmth and peace doesn't come as easily to me. I've been trying to figure out what sets me on edge. I've noticed if the house is cluttered, I get edgy. If we're over-scheduled, I get cranky. It seems that the more we're gone, the messier the house gets...how does that happen??? So this year my focus is to slowly change my ways. I hope to slowly de-clutter our closets and cupboards so that everything can be put away a little more easily. I'm learning how much time we can spend out of the house before I start to lose it.

 

I'm also trying to be more present for my kids. I spend a lot of time with them as "teacher" but maybe not so much as mom. I'm trying to engage in their conversations...even the ones about video games that I'm not the least bit interested in.

 

I really want our home to be a place that my kids love to be and that my dh looks forward to after work. For us, that all comes to down to my attitude.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I am laughing at myself ...

after reading this thread I looked at my LR and DR and rearranged a little bit.

 

We have oak floors in both rooms. The DR had a nice area rug in it that I steam clean on a regular basis for many reasons. The LR floor was bare. So, this morning I moved the rug into the LR and it does look more homey.

 

We are a little bare on pictures so I am going to go buy some nice frames and find some candids of the kids to place on the mantle and the side table.

 

Thanks to the OP for starting this thread.

[LibraryLover]

I try to be calm, which is saying a lot considering the family from which I hail. ;) I want the children to feel this is their home, not just the adults'. I encourage having friends over, I encourage feeling free to sink into the sofa and read a book, take out a card game, leave the scrabble board up for a couple of days if you want. I encourage my children to care for each other, that we are a team, that their sibling relationships will always be important, that a shared past can bring great comfort or great pain.

 

I like the children to putter in the kitchen to bake, cook, and I try to not be bothered by the fact that their version of tidy might not be my version, but that it is a version. lol

 

We put their art work is on our walls, their 'sculptures' on our mantle etc. In our main living area, we built a wall of bookshelves and it does my heart good to see my children pulling a book from our own shelves and sitting to read.

 

I try to keep a soup simmering on the stove in winter, and a fire in the fireplace many an evening. Both dh and I read aloud to the kids. We have animals (there is something about a dog. lol) , a garden we've all worked.

 

I try to remember that laughing a whole lot is better than yelling. I try not to sweat the small stuff. I try to remember that time flies.

Edited January 2, 2010 by LibraryLover

[mama2cntrykids]

I love this thread!! I was *just* thinking about this subject over the last couple of days. There is so much more that I can do to make this a warm "home" than what I'm doing. I'm infact, off to do somethings to make it nicer for us all.

 

Thank you to the OP for starting this thread!