Unorganized mom wants to homeschool

[jenL]

This post is for my sister. She desperately wants to homeschool, but she realizes she may not be cut-out for it because she is so unorganized, laid-back, a procrastinator, and sometimes just plain lazy (all her words). I've been homeschooling for 2 years now, but I am completely opposite of her since I'm anal-retentive, mostly organized, structured, and thrive on schedules. She wants my help and advice to get started, and my initial thought is my nephew would be better off at school because he needs the structure and the education would get done. She said today that she's concerned about homeschooling him because he has some behavior issues that she "created" because of her shortcomings in the areas mentioned above. She really does believe in homeschooling (she says), and she loves how my son is thriving in it. She and her husband hated school and do not want their children to feel that way, so she thinks this would be a great option.

 

My question for the hive is what advice would you give knowing all this? If you are someone like her, how have you made homeschooling happen for your family? Also, are there any books you would recommend for her to read to get started? I'm hesitant to suggest TWTM because I'm worried it would be too structured for her. I have suggested some CM stuff, however.

 

Thanks for reading this and any help you can provide!

Edited December 5, 2009 by jenL

[momtoboys]

I'm completely unorganized. I homeschool, and my son is doing well academically. I don't have the detailed daily plans that some have (and that's really great if they can do that!), but I get done what needs to be done. At times it's challenging, but it works.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

Well, I think of this in two ways. Perhaps she needs a curriculum that is more relaxed, incorporates education into family life (OM) or an unschooling approach. OR maybe she needs something with structure built in, like K-12 online.

 

Some "unorganized" people thrive on a curriculum that keeps them organized, others chafe under it. Some thrive on a relaxed approach, others relax into doing nothing.

 

I think its a matter of helping her figure out which approach would work best for her and her child. Does her area have any homeschooling conferences where she could get the feeling of a number of styles?

[Rhonda in TX]

Really. I'm all of those things. In fact, there was a time I thought I was too unorganized to homeschool. Yet, here we are. And we are, for the most part, successful. I don't believe that being unorganized means you're going to fail as a homeschooler. Not at all.

[justamouse]

I started out unorganized, became totally organized to where it hurt, and now I'm back to totally unorganized with some structure.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that she won't do it like you, but if it's important to her, and she believes in it, and HER CHILD is important to her--then she'll find her own way to make it work. Although it may be frustrating for you to watch...

[Jean in Newcastle]

Provided that she has internet access, I would give her the information for this forum and ask her to come here to ask specific questions herself. There really is no substitute for people trying to get help themselves. Really. But also warn her that while this forum is a wonderful place to get encouragement, advice or even a kick in the butt, it is also a good place to procrastinate!

[LittleIzumi]

She can come hang out on our "classical unschoolers" group here ;). Laid back is not a bad thing.

[Tammyla]

What age is her son?

 

This post is for my sister. She desperately wants to homeschool, but she realizes she may not be cut-out for it because she is so unorganized, laid-back, a procrastinator, and sometimes just plain lazy (all her words). I've been homeschooling for 2 years now, but I am completely opposite of her since I'm anal-retentive, mostly organized, structured, and thrive on schedules. She wants my help and advice to get started, and my initial thought is my nephew would be better off at school because he needs the structure and the education would get done - I did NOT tell her this. She said today that she's concerned about homeschooling him because he has some behavior issues that she "created" because of her shortcomings in the areas mentioned above. She really does believe in homeschooling (she says), and she loves how my son is thriving in it. She and her husband hated school and do not want their children to feel that way, so she thinks this would be a great option.

 

My question for the hive is what advice would you give knowing all this? If you are someone like her, how have you made homeschooling happen for your family? Also, are there any books you would recommend for her to read to get started? I'm hesitant to suggest TWTM because I'm worried it would be too structured for her. I have suggested some CM stuff, however.

 

Thanks for reading this and any help you can provide!

[Oakblossoms]

It can be done!!! I've become more organized, but I think that's because we have added more children. The best piece of advice I have is don't try to be a school and don't be hard on yourself. Her homeschool may not look like yours but it could really benefit her family and her son.

[jenL]

What age is her son?

 

Sorry, I forgot to add that... he'll be starting K. I told her she really can't mess up K, but she is worrying about later on down the road despite me telling her to take it one year at a time.

 

Also, please don't think I think there's a problem with someone who is disorganized, laid-back, etc. There's nothing wrong with that at all; we are all who we are. It's just not ME (although I often wish I were less serious), so to try and help, it becomes difficult. I know she won't do the homeschooling thing like me, and that is fine because it's her family, her choice, etc. I just didn't know how to help her because she wants answers, and I know my methods aren't like her style (if that makes any sense). I guess I don't want to mislead her in this is what I'm trying to say. I want to be honest and guide her as a supportive sister should without making her feel inadequate because we are different and will approach this differently, kwim?

 

As Jean mentioned, I'm going to direct her here. :)

Edited December 4, 2009 by jenL

[Mama Bear]

for her to lay down the beginnings of big changes within their family. If her dh is interested in looking at those same issues with her, it could be a really great thing for her. I would give her TWTM, because there's nothing like the shock of having all *that* laid out for you -- it either resonates or it doesn't. Along with TWTM, I'd give her a copy of The Mood Cure -- telling her a friend suggested it, since not all matters of "organization" and "laziness" are volitional. If she's willing to take a hard look at things and be exceptionally frank with/about herself (and it seems she is) both books could open whole new avenues for them -- could be the biggest blessing their family encounters.

 

HTH -- wish her luck for me!

[elegantlion]

I think it could be done. Has she worked outside of the home before? I tend to be very laid back in my household management, but attack homeschooling with the attitude of it being my full time job. It helps keep me on track approaching it as professional endeavor.

[jenL]

I think it could be done. Has she worked outside of the home before? I tend to be very laid back in my household management, but attack homeschooling with the attitude of it being my full time job. It helps keep me on track approaching it as professional endeavor.

 

Yes, she was successful outside the home, so putting it that way will work for her. Thanks!

[Tammyla]

Kindergarten...doesn't take much time at all and homeschooling a year isn't a life time commitment. kwim?

 

This is your sister, so encourage her without overwhelming her. Is she asking for a preplanned do the next lesson option or is she simply asking...Hey sis, you know what a disorganized, lazy kind of gal I am...Can I do this?

 

Sorry, I forgot to add that... he'll be starting K. I told her she really can't mess up K, but she is worrying about later on down the road despite me telling her to take it one year at a time.

 

I know she won't do the homeschooling thing like me, and that is fine because it's her family, her choice, etc. I just didn't know how to help her because she wants answers, and I know my methods aren't like her style (if that makes any sense). I guess I don't want to mislead her in this is what I'm trying to say.

[gandpsmommy]

Well, I wouldn't consider myself lazy, but I'm definitely not a terribly organized person. And our family tends to be more laid-back, spontaneous, go-with-flow than some. And we have had a wonderful homeschool experience. I really don't do lesson plans. I research and decide what is the best curriculum, and then we just do the next thing. But I would conisder our studies to be rigorous and my kids to be at or way above grade level in all subjects.

 

I actually struggled the first year or two with feeling that I had to do lesson plans and follow a rigid schedule or I wasn't really doing a good job homeschooling. Then I realized that homeschooling was an extension of ourother family experiences and that this just didn't fit us.

 

We have now found a comfortable rythym that works for us. We don't have a rigid schedule, We do have a flexible routine that helps us accomplish everything. For example, most days we start school (after some free time, breakfast, and a few chores) by doing dd's core work: math, writing, and grammar. Ds plays while we do this. If we have time before lunch we might do spelling as well. Then we break for lunch. The kids play while I prepare our food. During lunch I read them our history and literature selections for the day, and we practice our geography work. Then we have "recess". In the afternoon dd reads a chapter of her reading book to me, and does her science lesson with me if we are doing science that day. She does independent work (free reading, cursive handwriting, piano practice) while I work with ds. Ds does his kindergarten work with me (phonics, handwriting, math).

 

Having a routine helps us. But sometimes we move it all around, like if dd gets up really early and we have a lot of time before lunch, she might try to get most or all of her work with me done in the morning. Or, she might decide to practice piano in the morning during free time. Or, we might be busy and running behind, so I'll have her read her reading chapter to me while I cook lunch or dinner. Or I might have to bake 4 dozen cookies for her gymnastics meet concession stand and we've accomplished a lot that week and are ahead for the month, so we take a break from grammar and math for the day, but we know that we have to keep right up with writing because the workbook didn't get published until a few weeks after we started school so we're trying to catch up.

 

In nice weather we've been know to do a lot of our work outside. We'll sit under the canopy of the wooden playhouse to read and do bookwork, practice math facts while playing in the sand, do handwriting at the picnic table, etc. And our field trips are almost all spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment, we-feel-like-going-somewhere-in-the-big-city sort of deals. I have a list of museums we'd like to go to, exhibits we'd like to see, etc. in my head, and on a day like that we choose one and go.

 

My kids have learned a lot about baking/cooking/housework because we do a lot of things together and I try to incorporate them into the flow of the day. They know a lot more about home economics than I ever did at their age (or much older). I'll always remember the spring day when dd was in K5 that dh stayed home from work and we all dug up the land to make a garden for the first time. And in between work dd read us The Boxcar Children. It's a lovely memory.

 

Now all of this isn't to say that you can by neglectfully lazy and not make sure you accomplish stuff. Every year at our portfolio evaluation the teachers say they can't believe we accomplished so much and did so much work. We just do it in our way.

[lisabees]

Well, this is only my first year hs, so I don't have much experience. But, I have learned a lot about how I teach best.

 

I am chronically disorganized. Always have been. On the positive side, I am creative and laid back.

 

What does that mean in my hs? I have figured out that I need absolute structure. I need very explicit, scripted programs. Lesson One - do this, this and this. Lesson Two - do this, this and this. Now, this also works perfectly because ds is dyslexic and needs repetition.

 

Also, I have found I am very bad with downloadable/printable programs, unless I head over to Staples right away and get them spiral-bound.

 

The less loose-leaf paper, the better. I use sewn composition books when I can.

 

DS is 13. I give him the job of hole-punching loose worksheets and putting them in a binder. I started this with day one, so expectations were set. Tell your sister to delegate responsibilities when she can.

 

I am not very good about lesson plans, but I don't need to be in my district. I only need to prove 180 days of learning. Although, I think I would do better if I had better plans.

 

My personality is most definitely laid back, so we have fun and decide to do last minute outings sometimes or decide to spend a couple of hours finishing a read aloud because we just can't stop. But, if it weren't for the scripted, organized programs I am using, we'd be lost!

 

Now, I am only hs one 13 year old boy and is hs for academic reasons. He also wants to return to ps next year (so sad about that). So, I may be more flexible if my situation was different.

[Dawn E]

I'm very disorganized in my personal life, more organized in my work life. I was terrified when we began homeschooling because I knew my tendencies. I didn't want to fail my child...but things have gone very well.

 

As elegantlion stated, I had to view this as my job, not an extension of my home life. That way of thinking about it has helped me to approach it in a much more organized way. Writing out lesson plans and using the workbox approach have also aided in the organization of our day. And, this may have no bearing on your sister as it is a very personal factor to me, I prayed A LOT about whether this was the right path and that God would equip me to do what it required. It has been an opportunity for character and habit training in my life, and I've learned to be patient with myself in the journey.

[Carrie12345]

I'm lazy, disorganized, blah, blah, blah...

TWTM has been very important to me because it helps to narrow down my curriculum options and gives me a defined, yet flexible path to follow.

 

Also, binders, binders, binders!!! With pockets, so that I can at least shove papers in the right subject area, even if I don't immediately get them in order. ;)

[elfgivas]

i'd suggest she start to build her rhythym, routine, ritual, whatever she wants to call it now. maybe she could get BFIAR and start it now to see how it goes, and to experiment with when in a day it works best for both of them. then its pretty easy to add in earlybird singapore math, and a few other things as they're ready. by the time kindergarten starts, they should be well on their way to transforming themselves into a homeschooling family : )

 

hth,

ann

[gardening momma]

I haven't had a chance to read all the answers yet, but wanted to say...

 

I'm an unorganized (sort-of), laid-back, lazy procrastinator and homeschooling is working for us. What I love is that I can still neglect the housework. :D I do get the educational part of it done, though. I don't neglect my kids.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Well, I think of this in two ways. Perhaps she needs a curriculum that is more relaxed, incorporates education into family life (OM) or an unschooling approach. OR maybe she needs something with structure built in, like K-12 online.

 

Some "unorganized" people thrive on a curriculum that keeps them organized, others chafe under it. Some thrive on a relaxed approach, others relax into doing nothing.

 

I think its a matter of helping her figure out which approach would work best for her and her child. Does her area have any homeschooling conferences where she could get the feeling of a number of styles?

 

I second the K12 curriculum since it lays it all out for you with a schedule;).

[staceyobu]

I'm very unorganized and will procrastinate anything. I was very worried about homeschooling knowing my shortcomings.

 

I'm only doing preschool this year, so take this for what it's worth... but it's been fine. Easy. No problem. I've used Sonlight so I don't have to come up with a plan. I will probably always stick with curriculum that tells me EXACTLY what to accomplish in a day. I think I *need* that. Unless my personality changes in the future. Other than that, I pull out ETC and we do the next page. Handwriting, we do the next page.

 

With the curriculum planned out, I don't have to "organize". If she's motivated, she'll do fine.

[jenL]

Thank you everyone for your honest answers! I really appreciate it. I'm going to share this thread with my sister. I think she'll find it to be very helpful and encouraging. I know she wants to hear about people like her, so your stories are perfect!

[IsabelC]

Well, I think of this in two ways. Perhaps she needs a curriculum that is more relaxed, incorporates education into family life (OM) or an unschooling approach. OR maybe she needs something with structure built in, like K-12 online.

 

Some "unorganized" people thrive on a curriculum that keeps them organized, others chafe under it. Some thrive on a relaxed approach, others relax into doing nothing.

 

I think its a matter of helping her figure out which approach would work best for her and her child. Does her area have any homeschooling conferences where she could get the feeling of a number of styles?

That's pretty much what I was going to say

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I had an organizational issue when I first started homeschooling. It was so difficult for me to come up with and then execute a plan! But, homeschooling has made me work hard at organizing. And, while I'm not perfect at it, I've improved immensly! I would just talk to her and help her come up with a system that works for her.

[DawnL]

She sounds like me. I can't recommend enough, any book by Carol Barnier. She is an "accidental homeschooler", and she has a lot of things in her books about how to teach an ADHD child.

 

My son is in kindergarten and this is our first year. I'm pretty laid back, and it's true, some days I don't think we do enough. But we are mostly concentrating on reading, writing, and math. He's a little behind in writing, but we just keep practicing. He will get there eventually.

 

The first book of Carol Barnier I read was How To Get Your Child Off The Refrigerator And On To Learning. It's wonderful.

 

If she really believes that she wants to homeschool, she can certainly do it, and be great at it.

[unsinkable]

Well, I wouldn't consider myself lazy, but I'm definitely not a terribly organized person. And our family tends to be more laid-back, spontaneous, go-with-flow than some. And we have had a wonderful homeschool experience. I really don't do lesson plans. I research and decide what is the best curriculum, and then we just do the next thing. But I would conisder our studies to be rigorous and my kids to be at or way above grade level in all subjects.

 

I actually struggled the first year or two with feeling that I had to do lesson plans and follow a rigid schedule or I wasn't really doing a good job homeschooling. Then I realized that homeschooling was an extension of ourother family experiences and that this just didn't fit us.

 

We have now found a comfortable rythym that works for us. We don't have a rigid schedule, We do have a flexible routine that helps us accomplish everything. For example, most days we start school (after some free time, breakfast, and a few chores) by doing dd's core work: math, writing, and grammar. Ds plays while we do this. If we have time before lunch we might do spelling as well. Then we break for lunch. The kids play while I prepare our food. During lunch I read them our history and literature selections for the day, and we practice our geography work. Then we have "recess". In the afternoon dd reads a chapter of her reading book to me, and does her science lesson with me if we are doing science that day. She does independent work (free reading, cursive handwriting, piano practice) while I work with ds. Ds does his kindergarten work with me (phonics, handwriting, math).

 

Having a routine helps us. But sometimes we move it all around, like if dd gets up really early and we have a lot of time before lunch, she might try to get most or all of her work with me done in the morning. Or, she might decide to practice piano in the morning during free time. Or, we might be busy and running behind, so I'll have her read her reading chapter to me while I cook lunch or dinner. Or I might have to bake 4 dozen cookies for her gymnastics meet concession stand and we've accomplished a lot that week and are ahead for the month, so we take a break from grammar and math for the day, but we know that we have to keep right up with writing because the workbook didn't get published until a few weeks after we started school so we're trying to catch up.

 

In nice weather we've been know to do a lot of our work outside. We'll sit under the canopy of the wooden playhouse to read and do bookwork, practice math facts while playing in the sand, do handwriting at the picnic table, etc. And our field trips are almost all spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment, we-feel-like-going-somewhere-in-the-big-city sort of deals. I have a list of museums we'd like to go to, exhibits we'd like to see, etc. in my head, and on a day like that we choose one and go.

 

My kids have learned a lot about baking/cooking/housework because we do a lot of things together and I try to incorporate them into the flow of the day. They know a lot more about home economics than I ever did at their age (or much older). I'll always remember the spring day when dd was in K5 that dh stayed home from work and we all dug up the land to make a garden for the first time. And in between work dd read us The Boxcar Children. It's a lovely memory.

 

Now all of this isn't to say that you can by neglectfully lazy and not make sure you accomplish stuff. Every year at our portfolio evaluation the teachers say they can't believe we accomplished so much and did so much work. We just do it in our way.

 

Great post, Terri!

[gandpsmommy]

Great post, Terri!

 

Thanks! Sometimes I get a little long-winded.

[Ravin]

We're doing well even though I'm not terribly organized. That is, I got things organized at the beginning of the year, and as the chaos swells and ebbs, I have that underlying structure to come back to, which keeps us from descending into total academic anarchy.

 

Another friend of mine found her organizational skills weren't up to the task (after a couple of years of homeschooling), so she enrolled her kids in an online charter (Connections Academy), and they're doing very well with that--it imposes the order they need without compromising the family closeness of having them at home.

[unsinkable]

Thanks! Sometimes I get a little long-winded.

 

Not at all.

 

Sometimes, I try to be succinct and end up not saying what I want to say.

[myfunnybunch]

She said today that she's concerned about homeschooling him because he has some behavior issues that she "created" because of her shortcomings in the areas mentioned above.

 

My question for the hive is what advice would you give knowing all this?

 

The first bit I quoted has stuck in my head since I first read your post. I'd like to add to the excellent advice that you've already gotten that the behavior issues they're facing need to be addressed. For mom and student to be at their most successful, positive and consistent discipline must be a priority. Not in place of formal schooling, but as an integral part of it. :)

 

Cat