Small rant about family comments re: homeschooling.

[LBC]

I probably shouldn't complain. My family isn't exactly "against" homeschooling. I guess they're just all about "looking after yourself". Both generations retired early, and although they are hard working, they highly value a lifestyle of leisure. My parents, who retired when my dad was only 53, live at their lake house all summer, and spend winters in Mexico.

 

This week I've had conversations with my mom and grandmother, and the constant underlying theme is that I have "way too much on my plate", and that I "don't get nearly enough time away from my kids". :confused: It's so obvious that they talk to each other about it, since they sneak the same words into every conversation. :crying: I guess it would be easier in some ways if they came right out and said that they were against homeschooling. That way I could address it intelligently. I don't confide in them when I'm having a bad time, because I know that they will make veiled comments about how hard my life is because I homeschool. I don't complain about homeschooling, or parenting. They seem to have come up with this all on their own. It in no way represents how I feel.

 

I'm trying to speak up. When I spoke with my mom on the phone this week, my mom made some sort of negative comment about the type of attention my kids require. :001_huh: I reminded her that I do get time away from my kids, and that I actually enjoy being with them. Today when my grandmother commented about how busy my life is, I told her that my life is busy with the things I've chosen to do, and that I choose not to take on other things in life (gardening, baking, etc.) so that I have time to do what I do.

 

:rant:

 

Well... enough whining. It's been a bad week, and I'm feeling sorry for myself.:tongue_smilie: Writing this out is cheap therapy. I probably just need to grow thicker skin. Boundary setting advice is welcome.

 

Lori

[cin]

"wow mom, you know, you really faked it well when we were young. I NEVER would have guessed you hated spending time with us." :D

 

Or some other such snarky comment about your mom not wanting to spend time with HER children....

[LBC]

"wow mom, you know, you really faked it well when we were young. I NEVER would have guessed you hated spending time with us." :D

 

Or some other such snarky comment about your mom not wanting to spend time with HER children....

 

Oh, that would only work if my mom wasn't already completely honest about the fact that she would "never homeschool". I ABSOLUTELY would have guessed that she hated spending time with us. She honestly doesn't think it's healthy to spend all day with your kids. One of the reasons I homeschool is that it is a great way for me to stay emotionally attached to my kids. My mother is a master at emotional detachment, so I have had to work hard at fostering a different parenting environment as an adult.

 

Sigh...

 

Lori

[ConnieB]

Oh, that would only work if my mom wasn't already completely honest about the fact that she would "never homeschool". I ABSOLUTELY would have guessed that she hated spending time with us. She honestly doesn't think it's healthy to spend all day with your kids. One of the reasons I homeschool is that it is a great way for me to stay emotionally attached to my kids. My mother is a master at emotional detachment, so I have had to work hard at fostering a different parenting environment as an adult.

 

Sigh...

 

Lori

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Been there, lived that, changed for my kids. I remember hugging my parents before bed. Period. No other times....not even when my heart was broken by a boyfriend who told me the night before prom he was taking someone else. A pat on the back and a hand off of tissues and even at that age I could see both my parents' eyes darting toward the door wondering how to get there.

 

I REFUSE to be that way with my children. My lack of ability to hug dear friends hello and goodbye is still an issue for me....I'm stiff and awkward with them. But with my kids......the very first thing they do when they get out of bed in the morning is come find me and we have several minutes of close cuddles and hugs....including my almost teen. We hug many times during the day, and they will all vie to hold our hands when we're out and about (kinda funny to see them jockey for position as we only have more kids than hands!

 

They will hug friends, adults or children, and even people that are really just acquaintances often time. A part of me wonders if I need to talk to my almost teen about appropriateness given her age now....but I choose instead to wait to see if it becomes awkward or somehow inappropriate. Obviously her hugs are warm and friendly, not s*xual, but her age and ummm, books are definitely developing and I wonder if sometime it may be awkward for a male friend. Anyway...crossing that bridge someday. I refuse to ever tell them not to hug.....my plan is to explain appropriate hugging.

 

I'm sorry that your mom can't see what she missed out on.....my parents are not still alive so they missed out on terrific hugs from their grandkids too, which I sincerely choose to believe would have broken through their barriers. (la la la la, I can't hear you if you don't agree, lol).

 

You (and I) CHOSE to spend all day with our kids. No one forces us, it's not a duty, it's a choice. I also chose not to have sitters (I can count on one hand the times my kids have been in another person's care). Many homeschool moms can't understand that. But the truth is that I enjoy my children's company, even the almost teen, lol. Sure there are occasions that I pass something up because it's not kid worthy but they are rare and someday way too soon I'll have wayyyy too much time to do these things when my nest is empty. I'm not looking forward to that day. In fact, I've made my kids promise to live near each other so I can homeschool all my grandkids!

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Blue Hen]

Lori,

 

It is tough. Hats off to you for recognizing and wanting to foster a different parenting environment. I know, really know how hard that is.

 

My mom passed away before I started hs'ing but I heard enough negatives from my Dad and his girlfriend while he was living. The most outrageous comment that applies to this situation was made by Dad's girlfriend:

"Someday Carole, you will get over this need of yours to spend so much time with your kids."

 

To which I replied, :"I pray that I never get over wanting to spend time with my kids. I like my kids. I like being with my kids."

 

Shut her right up, which is quite hard to do.

 

There were many, many other comments and yes, growing a thick skin and coming here is wonderful therapy.

 

Carole

[WishboneDawn]

This week I've had conversations with my mom and grandmother, and the constant underlying theme is that I have "way too much on my plate", and that I "don't get nearly enough time away from my kids". :confused: It's so obvious that they talk to each other about it, since they sneak the same words into every conversation.

 

You have two choices.

 

The Call-Their-Bluff approach:

"You know what? I think I would like a bit of time to myself. Mom (or Grandma), do you think you could take the kids for the weekend?"

 

The Pass-the-Bean-Dip approach:

"Mom (or Grandma), we've discussed this before. I'm not going to talk about it anymore. Could you pass me the bean dip please?" (switch discussion to wacky neighbours, the weather or baseball and counter any further comments with just, "pass the bean dip please.")

[Rosie_0801]

How about "I get bored of listening to you tell me that I don't like my life. Do you get bored of enjoying your life? Why should you think I do?"

 

 

Rosie

[Impish]

You've gotten some wonderful advice. I understand how hard it is to overcome negative parenting :grouphug: It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job. Next time the snide comments start sliding in, put up some firm boundries. ie "I love my life exactly as it is. If you cannot respect that, and quit insulting me, we'll need to end this conversation." or less harshly, "I'm doing exactly what I want to do, and loving it, thank you." and rinse, wash, repeat.

[Sharon H in IL]

It helps to think of relatives like this as toddlers. They keep repeating themselves, and so you have to repeat your own rules (your boundaries) again and again.

 

Toddlers will eventually learn. Adults, not so much.

 

That's why toddlers aren't nearly so annoying. You have some hope that they'll grow out of it.

[LBC]

You ladies are so great! Thanks for all the encouragement. I'm feeling much better.

 

ConnieB - are you sure we're not sisters? Very similar stories...:)

 

To answer a question - "yes" my parents are in their sixties. No breastfeeding for me.

 

I think it helps to identify how much this has been bugging me. I'm going to arm myself with some nicely worded responses along the lines of letting them know how much I value this time with the kids, and enjoy the life I've chosen (I think my need to please and find approval sometimes stops me from speaking up).

 

Lori

[Impish]

From one Canadian to another...Treat yourself to a Timmies Ice Cap, and forget about it for the duration of the 'cap. Imp's orders ;)

[LBC]

From one Canadian to another...Treat yourself to a Timmies Ice Cap, and forget about it for the duration of the 'cap. Imp's orders ;)

 

LOL! I'd love to, but I just joined Weight Watchers this week, and it might cost me too many points. I'm saving all my points for some wine (to go with my whine).:D

 

Lori

[9GreatKids]

Oh, that would only work if my mom wasn't already completely honest about the fact that she would "never homeschool". I ABSOLUTELY would have guessed that she hated spending time with us. She honestly doesn't think it's healthy to spend all day with your kids. One of the reasons I homeschool is that it is a great way for me to stay emotionally attached to my kids. My mother is a master at emotional detachment, so I have had to work hard at fostering a different parenting environment as an adult.

 

Sigh...

 

Lori

 

In that case, you can keep it simple. Mom, we're different people with different needs.

[gamommy]

I've been there done that, ((hugs)).

 

I actually thought I was making some headway recently but I called MIL the other day and said I had some good news. The news was something about dh and work, but MIL immediately piped up and said, "You must have enrolled the girls in school next year! You'll be so happy that you did! I've never understood why you've chosen to complicate your life by teaching them."

 

Yes, they are in their 60's and they live a self-centered sort of lifestyle. Dh has suffered for it and so have my nieces and nephews as dh's sisters have chosen to parent in a similiar way to their parents. I try to convince myself that they will never understand us and our choices. We've had to do lots of boundary type work too. Boundaries don't make it easy, but make it bearable. That and living 1,000 or so miles away.

[Dobela]

While we don't have a vacation home and live near poverty, I would say that homeschooling allows us to live a life of leisure - in a sense anyway. We can vacation when we want, we can take time off when we want... I have been known to point out to others (who first pointed out what an intrusion homeschooling was) that I actually have more freedom than they do. And, because I have the choice, I chose to spend that time with my children because I enjoy their company.

[unsinkable]

Your mom could always change.

 

That's the great thing about being alive...you can grow & change, no matter what age.

 

:grouphug:

[Tammyla]

:grouphug: Hug to you.

 

I'll second the find your response line and rinse and repeat...With my mil it goes something like...I'm just so blessed;). I always smile and and she gets flustered and moves on after a few minutes.

 

Growing my rino skin on Peeks suggestion has helped tremendously; as well as accepting the fact that she doesn't (and never will) like that we aren't doing things her way.

[Impish]

My MIL its a combo of jealousy and...jealousy. She was a school teacher. And adopted my dh as a single mom, so she always worked. That I'm a SAHM now, and homeschooling seems to be two bitter pills for her to swallow. She keeps asking, "Well, you are at least going to let Tazzie and Princess try public school, aren't you? At least let them try kindergarten and see if they like it? Just because Diva had a bad experience doesn't mean that they will, and its not fair to deny them going to school based on her experiences!"

 

My response: "Diva once burnt her hand on a stove too. Should I allow the Littles to stick their hand on a burner to see if they'll get burned or not? Of course not! I already know that homeschooling is a better education for my children, so why would I force them to try a lesser form that I believe is actually HARMFUL to their development? Whoops, Diva has a question about mitochondria, gotta run! Bye!"

 

Do what you gotta to get through. All you can do. :grouphug:

[Emmy]

My parents are like this as well. My mom has commented to me many times that she finds it commendable that my dh and I are willing to do whatever is the "best" thing for our kids even if it's inconvenient for us (with the unspoken part being that she and my dad would not have inconvenienced themselves as we do!). I know my mom finds it odd that we had our kids in our 30's and now we won't be able to retire as young as she and my dad did and she finds it strange that I don't just send them to school cause that's what everybody does and then I'd have time to myself....I try to gloss over it when she makes comments about how "someday" when I get all my kids in school I'll have time for XYZ....clearly she and I are not on the same page. :)

[MrsMe]

IThis week I've had conversations with my mom and grandmother, and the constant underlying theme is that I have "way too much on my plate", and that I "don't get nearly enough time away from my kids". :confused:

I'm trying to speak up my mom made some sort of negative comment about the type of attention my kids require. :001_huh:

 

Lori

 

 

My mom has said the exact same things to me and I really just never said anything more than "maybe" for no other reason than it' none of her business and have her no place to go with it. Sometime what I'd like to say is that "it's not all about me like it was all about you", but I don't. :glare: I just figure how self centered everyone seems to be and enjoy the fact that my kid still loves being by me. So basically, I leave it alone. I could really get into a whole can of worms but it's not worth it.

[katemary63]

"wow mom, you know, you really faked it well when we were young. I NEVER would have guessed you hated spending time with us." :D

 

Or some other such snarky comment about your mom not wanting to spend time with HER children....

 

:lol:

[katemary63]

I'm a gusher. What I mean is, I talk a lot and I gush a lot about all the wonderful things about my family - our homeschooling, our farm, my great husband, my great kids, the cool stuff we're learning, how much I love it all and what fun we have. I even have a blog that documents it all w/ pictures and comments. I don't do this with intent - it's just my personality. ( I'm not obnoxious! Just enthusiatic about life!)

 

However, IF someone who knew me at all were to have negative comments about part of my lifestyle and how I'd be better off changing it, it would be quite strange considering what I put out there, KWIM? I'm not saying I don't have bad days - of course. But the general vibe I send out to anyone who will listen is one of delight in my life choices. So....they really wouldn't make sense to comment negatively. Even family who live far away and don't interact with us much know about our life from the blog. It is easy and doesn't take much time at all since I would be taking all these pictures anyway. I just upload and type a comment or two. It's lots of fun. Maybe a fun family blog that your parents could read regularily would help them to understand on a deeper level how happy you are with your choice.

[lionfamily1999]

Personal Rant:

 

I thought it was bad before, when I pulled ds out of school. Now that summer's here, everyone expects me to put him back in the fall.

 

It's funny, because I didn't expect to be so hurt. You guys all make it seem so.... obvious? It's like you see it coming, but I was just la-la walking along and have hit a brick wall inlaid with spikes.

 

I don't WANT to pass the stinkin' bean dip.

:cursing:

I WANT them to shut the h-e-double hockey sticks up.

 

I WANT a little confidence from my family and my "friends."

:banghead:

My son's education is important to, and yes that means it is MUCH more important than someone else's little boy's social life. It's not like we moved. We live in the same stinkin' house my husband grew up in, in the same area I grew up in. We are still here, they can still be friends, even if they DON'T see each other in school.

 

And yes, I DO think Greek, Latin, World History, Grammar and Reading are THAT important.

:rant:

 

OP:

I'm sorry. This really stinks. :grouphug:

[LBC]

I don't WANT to pass the stinkin' bean dip.

:cursing:

I WANT them to shut the h-e-double hockey sticks up.

 

 

 

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh out loud.:lol:

I'm not making light of your frustration - just empathizing with the expression of your feelings.

 

:grouphug:

 

Lori

[kellycbr]

I'm a gusher. What I mean is, I talk a lot and I gush a lot about all the wonderful things about my family - our homeschooling, our farm, my great husband, my great kids, the cool stuff we're learning, how much I love it all and what fun we have. I even have a blog that documents it all w/ pictures and comments. I don't do this with intent - it's just my personality. ( I'm not obnoxious! Just enthusiatic about life!)

 

However, IF someone who knew me at all were to have negative comments about part of my lifestyle and how I'd be better off changing it, it would be quite strange considering what I put out there, KWIM? I'm not saying I don't have bad days - of course. But the general vibe I send out to anyone who will listen is one of delight in my life choices. So....they really wouldn't make sense to comment negatively. Even family who live far away and don't interact with us much know about our life from the blog. It is easy and doesn't take much time at all since I would be taking all these pictures anyway. I just upload and type a comment or two. It's lots of fun. Maybe a fun family blog that your parents could read regularily would help them to

 

What a great idea! This would probably be the only reason I'd add doing this to my plate.:D

 

Kelly

[LBC]

 

What a great idea! This would probably be the only reason I'd add doing this to my plate.:D

 

Kelly

 

:lol: Then they'd say that I had too much on my plate because of the work involved keeping a blog.:D

 

Lori

[lionfamily1999]

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh out loud.:lol:

I'm not making light of your frustration - just empathizing with the expression of your feelings.

 

:grouphug:

 

Lori

Glad I could help, and find empathy :)

[Impish]

 

I don't WANT to pass the stinkin' bean dip.

:cursing:

I WANT them to shut the h-e-double hockey sticks up.

 

I soooooooooo know what you mean!! Its like passing the bean dip is somehow not standing up for what you believe in, its avoiding the confrontation, letting them get away with their ignorant and hurtful comments, etc.

 

The purpose of the bean dip is not to get into a long drawn out battle that is impossible to win. Some people are what I call 'willfully ignorant' or 'deliberately ignorant'. They don't want to know anything outside of their own view. Even if you shove 300 pages of documented substantiated proof under their nose, they would close their eyes, turn their head, shove it aside, and continue to insist they're right. They refuse to even consider they might be wrong. They never will. That's where the bean dip comes in.

 

 

I've shared this story before on the board, and I'm going to add it to my sig. Its a saying a friend of mine gave me, originally from a Franciscan monk. "Do not try to teach pigs to sing. You'll only frustrate yourself and irritate the pigs." There are times when you have to decide, are the folks you're dealing with wanting to learn, or is this a swine sing-a-long? And if its singing, its time for dip. ;)

[elw_miller]

A goofy idea just popped in my head:

 

Some people keep a "swear" jar. When a curse word gets uttered, the person who uttered it has to put a quarter or something in the jar. Could you keep an "unsolicited advice" jar or an "unwarranted, unjust criticism" jar? Let people know you keep such a jar. Even if you keep it at your house, you could drop a coin in for each time something unhelpful was said (though it'd work better if the person saying that stuff had to drop in a quarter). At the end of a month (or whatever time frame you choose) you could count up all the money and use it take the kids out to ice cream or something fun, educational, or whatever.

[lionfamily1999]

I soooooooooo know what you mean!! Its like passing the bean dip is somehow not standing up for what you believe in, its avoiding the confrontation, letting them get away with their ignorant and hurtful comments, etc.

 

The purpose of the bean dip is not to get into a long drawn out battle that is impossible to win. Some people are what I call 'willfully ignorant' or 'deliberately ignorant'. They don't want to know anything outside of their own view. Even if you shove 300 pages of documented substantiated proof under their nose, they would close their eyes, turn their head, shove it aside, and continue to insist they're right. They refuse to even consider they might be wrong. They never will. That's where the bean dip comes in.

 

 

I've shared this story before on the board, and I'm going to add it to my sig. Its a saying a friend of mine gave me, originally from a Franciscan monk. "Do not try to teach pigs to sing. You'll only frustrate yourself and irritate the pigs." There are times when you have to decide, are the folks you're dealing with wanting to learn, or is this a swine sing-a-long? And if its singing, its time for dip. ;)

 

What is killing me is that there IS no argument, there is no reasoning!!!!!

 

It's simply, 'you ARE putting him back in school, right?' When I reply (no), there are arched eyebrows, sighs, eye rolling, etc., but no argument. My friend (I have very few irl, it takes me forever to trust someone enough), asked me if I was thinking of Drew or myself. I was hurt enough that I couldn't even respond. I was stunned. I have tutored her son in reading, I've helped him to reach grade level and beyond. I cannot believe that she has so little faith in me.

 

I know the use of bean dip, but I'd rather push their face into it than serve it to them.

[LBC]

My friend (I have very few irl, it takes me forever to trust someone enough), asked me if I was thinking of Drew or myself. I was hurt enough that I couldn't even respond. I was stunned. I have tutored her son in reading, I've helped him to reach grade level and beyond. I cannot believe that she has so little faith in me.

 

 

 

Ouch! That really hurts.:grouphug:

[lionfamily1999]

I doubt myself well enough on my own, and to have her question my motives... well, I have to wonder if I have become a "pageant mom" iykwIm.

[Rosie_0801]

My friend (I have very few irl, it takes me forever to trust someone enough), asked me if I was thinking of Drew or myself.

 

I'd have thought it was right to think of both of you. You are as valid a person as your son, are you not?

 

Shmucky comment though. You could have asked her the same question, couldn't you? Except you clearly aren't shmucky :grouphug:

 

Rosie

[lionfamily1999]

I'd have thought it was right to think of both of you. You are as valid a person as your son, are you not?

 

Shmucky comment though. You could have asked her the same question, couldn't you? Except you clearly aren't shmucky :grouphug:

 

Rosie

Holy cow, Rosie, you brought tears to my eyes.

 

Thank you :grouphug:

[Alicia64]

I'm with you all. Totally. We still haven't even told my MIL that we're hsing. When we were thinking about it, she dismissed it totally. So she wasn't told when we made the final decision.

 

I'm barely speaking to my dad anymore who told one of my kids that "homeschooling is stupid." We've never had a warm relationship (he's very cool, highly critical), but I don't want a lot to do w/ him at this point.

 

My mom is the only one who has a clue that she better get on board or get left behind. I know she's faking it and would much rather see the boys in school, but I appreciate her for making the effort to be pleasant.

 

I'm beginning to think that some of the best parents come from cold, critical households!!

 

Take care. You're soooooo not alone.

 

Alicia

[Cindyg]

Tell your mom and your sister that you love homeschooling. It's your hobby, and you would be bereft without it. It *is* my ME time.

 

This is true for me and everybody knows it. Homeschooling is my obsession rivaled only by my obsession with my horse.

[Matryoshka]

What is killing me is that there IS no argument, there is no reasoning!!!!!

 

My friend (I have very few irl, it takes me forever to trust someone enough), asked me if I was thinking of Drew or myself.

 

Well, you are so right about no reasoning!

 

It's either "Why do you complicate your life and make it so hard on yourself by homeschooling - you need to put them in school and give yourself a break" (subtext: you are too self-sacrificing and need to be more selfish)

 

OR... "Are you doing this for your kids or for yourself" (subtext: you need to stop being selfish and start thinking about their needs)

 

YEESH! Make up your minds people! Basically, they can't stand that you're not following the other sheep. Baa.

[lionfamily1999]

:grouphug:

Well, you are so right about no reasoning!

 

It's either "Why do you complicate your life and make it so hard on yourself by homeschooling - you need to put them in school and give yourself a break" (subtext: you are too self-sacrificing and need to be more selfish)

 

OR... "Are you doing this for your kids or for yourself" (subtext: you need to stop being selfish and start thinking about their needs)

 

YEESH! Make up your minds people! Basically, they can't stand that you're not following the other sheep. Baa.

[kalanamak]

I

 

I'm trying to speak up. When I spoke with my mom on the phone this week, my mom made some sort of negative comment about the type of attention my kids require. :001_huh: I reminded her that I do get time away from my kids, and that I actually enjoy being with them. Today when my grandmother commented about how busy my life is, I told her that my life is busy with the things I've chosen to do, and that I choose not to take on other things in life (gardening, baking, etc.) so that I have time to do what I do.

 

 

If you are considering a snarky comeback (snark can work to silence things), try "I'm giving my kids the childhood I wish I'd had."

[LBC]

If you are considering a snarky comeback (snark can work to silence things), try "I'm giving my kids the childhood I wish I'd had."

 

You know, I think I might say this. I don't even think it needs to come across in a snarky way. Besides, it's very true. I am giving my kids what I wish I'd had.

 

Thanks!

Lori

[Impish]

What is killing me is that there IS no argument, there is no reasoning!!!!!

 

It's simply, 'you ARE putting him back in school, right?' When I reply (no), there are arched eyebrows, sighs, eye rolling, etc., but no argument. My friend (I have very few irl, it takes me forever to trust someone enough), asked me if I was thinking of Drew or myself. I was hurt enough that I couldn't even respond. I was stunned. I have tutored her son in reading, I've helped him to reach grade level and beyond. I cannot believe that she has so little faith in me.

 

I know the use of bean dip, but I'd rather push their face into it than serve it to them.

Oh my cheese and crackers! Are we living the same life? I've had similar comments! I've had people suggest that since I'm now disabled, I should put Diva in school, so it would be easier on me. When I explain that homeschooling is one of the few things I *can* still manage, they then ask if I'm doing it for me or her! :cursing: MIL has flat out told me I'm wrong not to let the Littles even try kindergarten, that just because Diva had a bad school experience doesn't mean that they will. :banghead: I've never had bean dip in my life, but I'd whip up a batch for the express purpose of stuffing it up nostrils, just like you! :lol:

[lionfamily1999]

Now that I've started hsing, I could not imagine putting my youngest in school. We're going to start PreK (at home) in September, so when he is old enough to start he'll be so far ahead, there won't be any point. Believe me, I'm hearing about this already.

 

What's funny is how easy it is for "concerned" friends and family to dodge back and forth.

 

My oldest is in ps. She loves it, she does well and I can't think of a good reason (beyond the fact, that her education would be better) to take her out. She is getting an education, good enough for community college anyway, but she enjoys school enough that I'm not willing to remove her.

 

That gets used too. If hsing is so superior, then why is she still in school? If ps is good enough for her, then why not my boys?

 

One moment, I'm being selfish, the next, I'm picking favorites......... argh!

 

My gramma, tg, is super supportive. At least I have her.

[Impish]

LOL...see, the fact that hsing is a superior education is, to me, enough of a reason to pull her ;) I have absolutely no intention of allowing the Littles to 'try out' Kindy. This is how I visualize that experiment:

 

Tazzie enters Kindy.

Phone calls start the first week, demanding he be medicated for ADD/ADHD.

Teacher is on anti-depressants by Christmas.

Phone calls and letters continue asking about meds.

Teacher takes stress leave by Spring break.

A series of subs cycle through til the end of the year, each refusing to return after a week, citing the Tazzie kid.

Teacher returns in September, with only a slight twitch, heaves a sigh of relief, knowing that the Tazzie Imp child is gone on to gr 1.

In walks Princess Imp.

Teacher starts sobbing uncontrollably.

I receive a court summons, and discover I'm being sued by the teacher for emotional and psychological abuse.

[lionfamily1999]

:lol:

Luke is definitely "active." We'd agreed, before starting Andrew hsing, that we would pull Luke from school before we allowed them to medicate him.

 

Jocelyn is in Middle School and I don't want to disrupt her life in such a big way. However, if we were to move, she would not get enrolled in another school.

[PineFarmMom]

"wow mom, you know, you really faked it well when we were young. I NEVER would have guessed you hated spending time with us." :D

 

 

 

Oh, that's good!!!

 

I have the same passive-aggressive type stuff from my own parents. It's not out and out anti-homeschooling. There are just "comments". They really think we should both get all wrapped up in hobbies and dh should be focussed on stuff other than our kids. We're a very family-oriented family, and they make snarky comments that lean away from the truth of what we have chosen.

 

My parents have chosen to spend their retirement years obsessively compulsively making their yard and property like something out of Better Homes and Gardens. The choices I have made makes it harder for us to 1) have time to get ocd about our stuff and property; and 2) have the $$ to get ocd about our stuff and property. Everything we have looks nice, clean and pretty, just not Better Homes and Gardens pretty if you kwim? Therefore, our choices aren't as good as theirs. :001_rolleyes: I'm having breakthroughs by the minute right now, so I'm handling it well (at the moment). I have realized they really have nothing in common with one another and haven't the self-evaluation skills to look and see that they are ocd because they are avoiding their own marital and personal junk. I can't do anything about it, but realizing it helps me. I can separate myself from their anti-homeschool comments (at the moment). :)

 

I know also that my retirement years I plan to pour myself out on family and others, and if my yard and home look good, that's fantastic. I may just choose to be a minimalist. ;)

[PineFarmMom]

Personal Rant:

 

I thought it was bad before, when I pulled ds out of school. Now that summer's here, everyone expects me to put him back in the fall.

 

It's funny, because I didn't expect to be so hurt. You guys all make it seem so.... obvious? It's like you see it coming, but I was just la-la walking along and have hit a brick wall inlaid with spikes.

 

I don't WANT to pass the stinkin' bean dip.

:cursing:

 

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. :( There is something about this opposition that has made me grow as a person. I'm stronger for standing for this choice and loving those people anyway. I don't always feel that way, but as hard as it has been, I know I've grown by leaps and bounds by having to go through the ride of speaking up, sometimes cowing down, sometimes tripping and falling on my face, and ultimately just standing firm on this decision, year after year. Next year will be year 10 of this journey for us. It has not been easy at all to do this and keep doing it and fight the external and internal battles, but it has been so very much worth it!!! :)

[kalanamak]

You know, I think I might say this. I don't even think it needs to come across in a snarky way. Besides, it's very true. I am giving my kids what I wish I'd had.

 

 

Yes, I really mean "blunt" rather than snarky. It may hurt feelings, but who goes through life never having hurt nor been hurt?