This is exactly what my husband and I were arguing about last night. The New York Times had an article about the SAT correlating strongly with wealth and his takeaway was that it was a bad test and should be gotten rid of. My argument was that it revealed information which could be interpreted many different ways (my biggest concern is the inequities of K-12 education based on zip code) and that doing away with the test doesn't change anything. I also feel that it is the best of what we have at the moment, as nothing else has really risen to take it's place. If grade inflation is rampant (which I do believe it is, based on what I have seen) then how else can you cheaply measure academic potential?

Everyone has different standards and what some people think of as "disgusting" and "gross" is what other people might be only capable of doing at the time. I don't prioritize a perfectly clean home and it is very common for me to leave a pot up to two days filled with water until I get around to cleaning it. I don't see what's so disgusting -- it cleans up, I clean the sink right after, it's all good? Sometimes I want to spend time with my teenage kids and then I work all day the next day, but it gets done eventually. I guess I got a little "triggered" reading all the judgement, lol. Four to five days would mean something else is going on, and if it happens regularly I would honestly just ask to change chores around -- see if he can take care of a different chore and just take over the dishes from then on. My husband doesn't really ever do the dishes, or cook, or clean. But we just came in from digging holes in the yard for some giant plants and let me tell you, I was very grateful he kept sending me away to do the smaller jobs -- he is much better suited to digging a two foot by two foot hole in rocky compacted soil. He has remodeled our bathroom, our fireplace, our bar area, and paints the tallest ceilings. I am very happy in return to do all the chores around the house:)

Every family and every kid is different. I hope we can all see that. What might be high anxiety and control in one situation might in another be an acknowledgement of different issues that are at play. I have three kids. I would love still to be able to have my oldest on find my iphone just to make myself feel better. She is smart but extremely ADHD, impulsive, and living alone in DC without close friends yet. Contact is sporadic and when she doesn't text or merely "like" a photo on our family group chat devoted to dog pictures and it's been three days, I start to worry. My younger two are different. When they go off to college I don't think I will worry at all. One has a great head on her shoulders, is a planner, and makes very wise, safe decisions. The other will probably never be out partying, but will most likely be in the library, and honestly he's a guy so I worry less too. Just as an example -- my oldest daughter has tried to drive long distances late at night, has run out of gas at importune times, and has often found herself in the wrong neighborhood with a dead phone battery and no GPS available. My younger daughter, on the other hand, gets gas the moment the tank hits 70 miles left, never lets her phone die, and goes over directions multiple times before she goes to a new place. 🤷‍♀️

https://www.cratejoy.com/products/finders-seekers This got a lot of good reviews! Finders Seekers Mysteries Thrilling puzzles delivered to your door monthly Explore a new city and culture each month while solving puzzles and deciphering codes with a fun escape room challenge! Great for game and mystery fans, puzzle solvers, and travel enthusiasts! Content is family-friendly (No murders or violence here!) but it is challenging! Each adventure includes everything you need for a fun night at home. Every month includes a new fun puzzle and adventure to help you solve a mystery from the comfort of your own living room. Explore a new city and culture while you try to decipher the clues. New city each month! Each puzzle includes clues in case you get stuck and our team is able to assist from our growing Facebook group community! Content is always family friendly but challenging for adults. No murder or violence, great for ages 13+. Take your game night to the next level with our theme-related authentic recipes and music playlists.

Thank you for this info! I will pass it on to my son and see if he would like to reach out. The one snag is after making our list, THEN I ran the net price calculator. Almost full pay is a tough sell compared to full ride due to Calvet Waiver and Chapter 35 benefits he would get at a state school. So private colleges are dropping a lot lower on his list at this point. But the draw of having opportunities to do research early is definitely something we were considering in looking at Harvey Mudd.

Yes! I don't understand it here in CA -- minimum wage is pretty high - I think it's 15.50 and going up again soon? And I still don't mind as much tipping at a full service restaurant but why at a take out restaurant?

I vote leave it, absolutely. No one is going to walk over sheetrock repair, especially if the area was small enough to be covered by a picture! That would be insane! But I also vote for WildflowerMom's solution. Toothpaste!

This is why my kids tell me how glad they are that I have been advising them as best I can - so many kids got disappointed last year when applying CS. At UcLA the CS admit rate is now something like 3 percent? There are students with deeper EC’s and similar stats not getting in. My son has the same stats, probably more EC’s, but none computer science related. If he applied CS he would probably get rejected from all places. We look at all the admit rates for the Engineering school, and the admit rates by high school. Looking around you and realizing that out of 170 people applying to UcLA only about 10-15 get in can be pretty sobering.

wow. Just wow.

Wait, this was finished last month for you guys?? I am still crossing my fingers my ds will submit the essay on time😬. At least he’s in school so the counselor was on the ball when it came to recommenders and we didn’t have to do anything. October 11 is the deadline. Tick tock!

Do you have any services that can provide rides? We have a large Jewish Community Organization here that provides rides to seniors over 60 for free, anywhere they want to go. If they don't have a driver that can do it, they pay for an uber themselves.

The buy nothing group I am in has had multiple people complain that their items are requested but the person never shows up to get them. I once put a pair of kid shoes out for someone -- they never came, I wrote them and they said they would be there, they still never came. So frustrating!

We were gifted a brand new fire table once. We couldn’t use it and didn’t want to resell a gift (it was a gift for the friend but they didn’t need it either, so on it goes). I meant to post it only to local groups but accidentally cross posted it to FB marketplace. It was awful. Messages poured in at a rate of 20 per minute. I couldn’t take it and turned off the post, but one gentlemen wrote a ton and was very persistent (in a very polite way) so I told him he could have it! But he definitely wrote the most and the majority were just the “Is it available”. The biggest problem I have with “is it available” is that it requires the seller or lister to do the work to draw out if the person can actually come pick it up and when. They need to find out whether the person can lift heavy things and if the car is big enough for the item. So the gentleman that got the table stated in his first post when he could pick it up, that he had a truck and that he could lift it himself.

My oldest went to UcLA and doesn’t regret it at all, was usually able to get all her classes, got involved in the Daily Bruin, but certain things she definitely felt were challenging. The noise level of having so many students on campus, having two other roommates and never having personal space, and having very little in the way of advising. It and UCSB are definitely his top choices, cost wise. I forgot about CCS for some reason. My daughter thought about applying there for literature, but didn’t feel like it was worth it. But it was clear the Math and some of the other stem majors were much stronger. I will have to remind my ds about it, especially since that’s a supplemental application😂 This does sound wonderful! And he loved the campus, which was unusual for him. Usually he doesn’t really notice his surroundings 😛

I feel like we are so behind in making the school list, much less them (twins!) actually working on applications. Time is skipping away so fast.

I am so very sorry.

I searched back in the hive to see if Harvey Mudd was mentioned at all, and hadn't seen anything. Does anyone have experience or knowledge about it? Specifically, my son is very mathy, has great grades and test scores, but isn't really in the running for the tippy top schools. He isn't sure what he wants to do, though right now he says major in math for undergrad and then somehow working in the field of nuclear energy. Though before that it was topology, and either way he plans to go to grad school. We are down in San Diego, and he doesn't really want to (and probably shouldn't) go too far. So east coast is out, and even Colorado or Washington State or Oregon would be out. I feel like we are really limited to the UC's again (which would be great if he gets in, though the sink or swim wouldn't be ideal for this kid). He is applying to Caltech and Stanford just for kicks bc they are in CA, but knows he won't get in.

The only way we ever figured out diagnoses of some of our kids was in comparing them to the other ones. If you only have one, it's a lot harder!

Caspar has an adjustable bed frame. They had a great labor day sale and says their next sale will be black friday. Online I just checked and a Queen with adjustable base would be $2500 (that's the "snow" cooling mattress -- the regular mattress is cheaper but we got the "snow" because I get very hot when sleeping). When the base is bought with the mattress it is around 500 dollars. We have it and it raises the head, the feet, and has a massage function, which I accidentally started this morning scaring myself and my dogs.

My parents talk about the fears of a nuclear bomb during the cold war, and the school drills they had.

Our French Door fridge broke right around the five year replacement warranty. We replaced it with a side by side. Moved across the country to a house that had a French Door Fridge. It broke in three weeks. (Both from the same issue) We bought another side by side. We got GE Profile for both of them. We've had it for three years now (the other one in our rental is four years old) No problems other than the fact that the crushed ice option pretty much gave up within a year. So it's mostly cubed now.

I remember when Sudafed changed the formulation years ago, because immediately I could tell the new drugs didn't work. We still bought them because my husband believes in all medicines, but I never bothered taking it after it changed.

When I was in fourth grade, I already knew I struggled with executive functioning (though I didn’t call it that). When we were handed out our graded tests and told to have our parents sign it, I knew I would forget and get in trouble the next day. So creative me decided to just sign my dad’s name and TURN IT IN RIGHT THEN so I wouldn’t forget, lol. The teacher hauled me up to the Vice principal’s office and got my mom in as well (who volunteered there every day) and lectured me- told my mom very clearly I was going to end up in prison. No one asked WHY l did it. I didn’t end up in prison but I did end up a homeschooler. My oldest are in high school and my son has very good accommodations but the school is in a very good school district. It’s so varied across the nation. I think the worst aspect of school is how dehumanizing it can be in the younger grades. Add in impulsivity and executive functioning issues and you have such a miserable atmosphere.

Just wanted to update for what it’s worth- ds17 is in the last few weeks of AOPS Group Theory and is finding this second pass much more manageable. He first attempted it in 10th grade and due to anxiety and going to his first real year in brick and mortar school he found it much too difficult. Now I would say he spends about five-seven hours max on it. That being said, he doesn’t fully avail himself of all the extra content - he only answers the challenge problems and writing problems, and never does the discussion problems. But he’s been in the blue for every week except one (when we went on vacation- whoops). He also doesn’t read the book:-(. Oh well at least he has it if he wants it. He’s really enjoying the content. He sometimes tries to tell us about it but none of us understand it. Alas.

I am so sorry for all that you are going through. ❤️