Sounds like her filter may need an adjustment? At times we've all been guilty of thinking we sound one way, when we're really being more ugly or less kind than we perceive ourselves to be. We just hear ourselves differently in our heads and intent than we outwardly share. If she doesn't see herself through the same lens that you are, it stands to reason why she claims she's not doing that AND why she'd continue to behave in the same manner. It's sort of like watching the parent coach berate his kid on the field, thinking he's just being firm in his approach when he's really just being a jerk. I don't necessarily think he (or your daughter) always intends to be ugly, ... they just don't see it as being that. If your daughter is just snotty by nature, this wouldn't work ... but if she's generally a normal good-day/bad-day kid whose been having more bad days than good? Show her how she's outwardly displaying herself. Hey, you can BE irritated. Shoot, the kids never mistake when I am irritated LOL. But one (all) need to learn to work through that irritation rather than display and share every last emotion. That's not only rude, it's a bit assumptious to think anyone cares that much about one's every last emotion, you know? Be irritated; be private about it, though. Or at the very least, respectful of how you ask someone to stop being so irritating. I'd video her or record her. Let her see how she looks, what she sounds like. Get confirmation from people she respects that this is not the best light she's showing herself in. Point out how she does (or would) react differently if a friend was doing x-annoying behavior than her reaction when it's her brother; or how she'd respond to a friend's parent telling her to shower versus you. Ask her, rhetorically, to really think about why that is that she thinks she feels it's okay being snotty at home. Being more comfortable at home is one thing - we all have "days" where we're less than stellar. When it is more the rule than the exception, something needs to done to address that LOL. Remind her that you share a lot of her same frustrations and annoyances, and ask her how she'd like it if everyone treated her with such attitude. Maybe even give it a shot for a day. I love a little roleplay :D I do it over the top so it's obvious my point is being made, and it takes the edge off enough that my kids are open to the lesson. Tell her you're working on the same issue (she's the annoyance) and that it's not about you being perfect and her being awful. Because that's true, and I think parents don't communicate that point enough.

Is there any way to stagger the week's main teaching lesson/day? So that on any given day you're dedicating a significant time to TEACHING a concept (Monday for Algebra, Tuesday for long division, etc.) while the other students are working less on NEW material and more on APPLYING what you've taught them on "their" day? My math program is a mastery program, so this would be worth a shot here ... but I'm not sure what program you use, or if the same approach is even applicable. Or if you've maybe even tried LOL. I bow to you. Because I'd be finding a way to nurse that whiskey and turn IT into our math lesson. And them some: Kid whines? Take a shot. Kid spends more than five minutes staring at the page willing the problem to do itself? Take three shots. On the very worst of days, I'd probably set a timer for each class and call it good - wherever we finished, we'd be done for the day at the chime. I'd rather not burn any of us out by falling a bit off schedule, and focus on working through the meltdowns (there's AND mine LOL). Schedule recess, burn off some energy and hit it again the next day.

I've always (only?) heard that the peace sign was a broken cross. It's exactly what it looks like to me. And the symbolism of that makes sense to me, also given how there is ugly in the world done in the name of the cross/religion. I'm neither Christian nor American, so I'm quite amused that I've heard of this but so few others have. It's weird. It's no "Major Tom" but hey, I feel vindicated that at least I know *something* LOL. ETA: I'll admit finding it weird when I saw/see Christians wearing it because my only understanding of it was that it was a broken cross. And even if it wasn't designed with that in mind, it's how some people associate it. Just like I wouldn't go around wearing a swastika, similarly co-opted and re-invented from its original intend/design. My kids' church is Christian, and the peace sign is part of their little tee-shirt campaign. Always seemed weird to me, but I never shared that with the kids. My girl loves peace signs.

If I had just the one kid, I may or may not switch; but with the two kids? I'd definitely suck it up and stay put. It sounds like the leader's style isn't meshing with yours or the cubmaster's, and IME that usually means his tenure will be short-lived (and therefore not worth unnecessarily disrupting your own life/experience.) My son's den was seven boys, all of whom went to the same public school and a few who went to church together. My son didn't know any of them from anywhere, but he had friends and cousins in the pack at large which helped. The boys in his den were friendly enough, but they didn't become friend-friends for a few years. The campouts are what sort of solidified it beyond the we-know-each-other stage. Now my son is in boy scouts but has maintained very close friendships with three of the six boys who ended up finishing cub scouts together. Of those three boys, two went to one local troop and the third went to a troop at his private school. My son chose a troop in another city. I love that he's maintained these friendships that were slow to ignite but have remained a steady flame despite a longstanding barriers in their schooling and non-scout activities. I think it helped my son pick the right troop for him, even though his friends were going elsewhere. I vote stay put for the time-being.

Nice job! Not only are you an inspiration to us, but what a great example to set for your kids :D I loved that you said you walked in in your wimpy white belt, same as your five year old LOL.

It depends. Some decrees have language regarding the status quo, which - in this case - could be the continued non-celebration of Halloween. I've seen this used with regards to homeschooling, any how, and imagine it could be somewhat similar. So while not directly addressed, it may be indirectly addressed in the divorce papers.

Maybe taking baby steps? You *can't* take them out of school, and he's out-of-state, so that's one baby step -- this year they can participate in the school's celebration. Maybe you could also hand out candy. Not so much celebrating this year, but acknowledging that other's do as you sort through your own feelings on the issue. If the kids wanted to dress up, perhaps you could baby step that as using what you already own -- sports uniforms, dress up clothes, etc. Since you're still kind of discerning your thoughts, I'd do it low-key this year. You may decide you still wish to not celebrate it the way everyone else does; don't do anything this year that might make it harder to reconcile that in the coming years. Or you may decide you want to embrace the holiday in future years; you can always build on this year by then adding new family traditions. I'd try to compromise where I could with the ex just because it's a belief he's long held and you once did. Compromising this year (even if he doesn't, you can) gives him an opportunity to see that it doesn't have to be the evil or non-necessity he thinks it does. (He may not take that opportunity, but nonetheless you'd have done what you could to provide it.) It gives each of you time to figure out how to handle the holiday moving forward, since it's a grey-area this year.

I agree with truscifi that schools and instructors vary widely, and that it's a good idea to take advantage of schools offering free classes. An alternative might be to sign up with an inexpensive, 8-week long program through your local city rec center to try the various types of martial arts. I remember a thread here awhile back about girls participating in martial arts. It was interesting. It was pretty long, and might be linked in the bottom of this thread where it offers similar threads. Seems there are different opinions on girls participating in certain martial arts. Might be food for thought as you sort through the options. My kids do mixed martial arts. Mostly because we like the instructor and the school was nearby, but as we enter our sixth year I see the practicality of it as a self-defense method. That was never our intent, just a surprise benefit. I think any martial art would be good in the sense that it can instill confidence, knowledge of body and capability, and thoughtful defense. I see mixed martial arts as being excellent at each of these PLUS practical, real life skills - moreso than, say, karate and maybe even TKD. I might still be biased after watching Karate Kid versus Bloodsport, though. In that situation I'd rather my kid be Jean-Claude than Ralph Macchio :D LOL yeah, I know it's just a movie, but still! My daughter is the youngest of four boys, and she's learned to hold her own using the techniques of judo, jujitsu, and muay thai. She regularly practices with them, and continues to learn how to evade being pinned down (or up against a wall), how to use her body to manipulate out of that position should she find herself in it, and techniques on how to disarm an aggressor biding her time to run/get out. But beyond all of that practical knowledge, here's what most important: she's gaining confidence in her abilities to and strength to be capably defend herself in the unlikely event she ever needs to. To that end, I think any martial arts you consistently participate in can only help! Some families don't like the idea of girls grappling with boys. This doesn't bother me, but there are a few young ladies at our school who participate only in the muay thai (boxing). I feel like they're still getting great skills and confidence for self-defense, and would probably focus mainly on that sport should we ever re-evaluate our position on girl-boy grappling. The girls range in age from 6 to 15.

LOL, well I have siblings that are almost and just over 20, so I thought they'd keep me young and hip ... but alas, no. They totally failed me, and the epiphany came just yesterday. This thread is totally timely! My boys were brainstorming Halloween costumes. There are four of them, and they've always liked to have a group theme. They were voting between two options, one of which I was completely unfamiliar. It was "Creeper" - I'm like, wha ...??! The dirty old man on the bar hitting on the coeds??! How the heck do they even know about that guy?! What am I doing wrong that they're even WANTING to joke about being that guy??! So I barge in to put the kabosh on that idea, all paranoid that they've stumbled upon what I thought was my secret Lifetime For Women movie addiction. They eventually picked their tired-selves off of the floor, destroyed what was left of my fragile ego with a final laughing fit, then subjected me to a thorough dissection of what a creeper really is - complete with YouTube tutorials and a painful live demonstration. So, long story short: I now know what a creeper is and what that Minecraft thing people have been talking about. I'm old, too LOL. Not just because I didn't know but because I finally reached the point where ... I don't care to!

This is a lot like my own experience, down to the nanny part :lol: The majority of parent-friends I have and met via our kids tend to be 15+ years older than I am. This past weekend we celebrated the 40th wedding anniversary of one of my closest friends; we met nine years ago when our boys played sports together. I'm closer in age to 30 than to 40, so they were married for years before I was even born!! LOVE them. They also say they keep forgetting how young I am. The reverse is true, I keep forgetting they're closer in age to my parents than they are to me! Definitely no hindrance. Maturity might be, but ... that's not relative to age, always.

Rest in peace, Hawk, and look over the family and friends who miss you dearly. The phenomemon of online relationships fascinates me; how we can become so affected by people we "know" but have never "met" is .... incredible. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

My airline doesn't count carseats or strollers towards the baggage allowance, so in your situation ... at my airline ... you'd be allowed to check EVERYTHING at the ticket counter or skycap, without penalty for going over the limit. I think this is industry standard; it's worth a call to your airline to see. Now, there's debate about checking carseats at the counter (versus the gate) but IME it's a crapshoot either way. The biggest concern people have is the seat being thrown by baggage handlers as they load it onto the cart then again onto the plane. It's a valid concern. The belief is that it could compromise the integrity of the carseat, whether noticeably OR unnoticeably. IME, though, a carseat checked at the gate has a similar likelihood of being so compromised. At my airline, a gate-checked carseat at our hub airports is going to be tossed down a chute (as opposed to a counter-checked carseat that rides down the conveyer). Each is then as likely as the other to be tossed onto the cart/loader, then put into the belly. I usually suggest to gate-check it if possible, so there's a chance of bringing it onboard should the flight have empty seats. But I've traveled many times with five kids close in age and only myself, so there are times it's just easiest for EVERYONE that I check it at the counter/curb. Which I'm embarassed to say that I only learned the hard way LOL. If you wear the baby, be prepared to remove her at security. People always seemed surprised when they're asked to do this. Not sure which airport you're using, but it's hit or miss as far as TSA. Don't engage, just calmly ask for a supervisor if they hassle you about the milk. You know you're right, they just may not be aware (that you can bring throug milk). From speaking to them, the rules change so much they're hard to keep up with. And it's a thankless job so some just always feel on the defensive, without intending to come across that way. Easy to see how and why ...!

Congratulations on an achievement well done ~ both of you! His hard work towards meeting this goal was undoubtedly bolstered by a supportive family. Good luck to your younger son as he follows in the same footsteps. What an exciting day for all of you!

No, no, and no. It's like your post was written in Greek; I need a translater to clue me in, I've never heard of any of those things! I see a googlefest in my future LOL. Do I get credit for knowing who UNCLE Tom is? Or Tom Jones, perhaps? :D

Sounds like a phenomenal young man, raised by a phenomenal woman ~ it's a day for both of you to celebrate where you've been and where you're going. Happy Birthday!

Mine likes series, too. Her favorites are: Ramona, Betsy-Tacy, Boxcar Children, The Great Brain & Encyclopedia Brown. She hated and wouldn't finish: Little House, Narnia, Pippi, & the Littles. She read through these, but didn't "love" them: Borrowers, Pippi, Paddington Bear, the Blume's Fudge series. She is currently reading: Cricket in Time Square series, Blume's Pain & The Great One series, & Time Warp Trio. Next up I've put aside: Patricia MacLachlan's Sarah, Plain & Tall series. What about poetry? Mine loves Shel Silverstein and Jack Prelutsky. We also have a few authors whose books aren't "series" but who have a number of works available: Tomie de Paola, Allen Say, and Dick Smith. The first two are more "picture books" in terms of presentation, but are not your basic stop-start-two-syllable type of picture book. Allen Say, in particular, has great writing. Not series, but other books that went over well: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Phantom Tollbooth.

I had a dedicated airport-travelling stroller, the kind with actual ... well, not sure how to describe but the handles weren't a single bar, they were like rams horns. Separate from one another. This allowed me to extend the rollerboard handle and loop it onto the stroller, so that the stroller was draggin the rollerboard. Mine was sturdier than a standard, inexpensive umbrella stroller but way smaller than the American standard huge buggies. From car to security I balanced the carseat on the top of the rollerboard. It worked fine if I took curbs carefully and kept the contraption at an angle (hello, gravity!) rather than straight up. If you think it'll help, use a bungee cord to attach the carseat to the rollerboard. I had a Britax which I placed upside down, partially atop the rollerboard and partially resting on it's front side. If I had been using an infant carseat, I'd have just slipped the locked handle over the rollerboard handle. Either way it means walking slightly aside center of the stroller, but at least everything's secured LOL. Baby is in stroller, which is pulling the suitcase, which is securing the carseat. All that is left is the pack and play, right? My pack-n-play had a long strap akin to golf bags that could be slung over one shoulder. Have it standing up resting against your car, and once the baby, suitcase, and carseat are in position simply bend down to swing the pack and play over your shoulder. Walk carefully to terminal :lol:. Honestly, though, if I weren't an airline employee who was accustomed to the hassle, I'd have ponied up the few bucks to use the skycaps. You can drive right up to the curb, check your pack-n-play and suitcase, then circle back around to park. It'd be worth the $2-5 and extra 15 minutes LOL. All you'd have to worry about is getting the carseat and stroller to the gate, which is easy. Then at return, I'd go get my car from long-term parking without even bothering to stop by baggage claim. I'd circle back around to the one-hour parking, park, and run in for my bags. Baby can be held or worn for this part. Just go go the baggage counter and they'll have your bags pulled to the side, ready to go for you. Again, easy to roll out the suitcase and pack and play since your carseat and stroller will already be in the car. Have a great time at your reunion!

Do you have any sesame seeds? If so, you can make your own sesame oil in a pinch. You can also just sub with regular oil, but it won't taste as good. How about peanut oil, have any of that? What about a chimichurri? Just a few tablespoons each of lime/lemon juice, minced or chopped garlic, fresh herbs (parsley, basil, cilantro) and about 1/4 cup olive oil. Oh, and a pinch or so of salt. Optional if you like some kick: jalapeno peppers :D. Add all of the dry ingredients together, then add the oil and squeeze in the lemon/lime juice and marinate away!

The summer really was starting to wear on us all -- having the schooled-kids home threw off the whole home's routine, including their own. And that's what it's really all about ... growing tired of being off routine. School is such a huge commitment (9+ months, 6+ hours/day) and as such it plays a dominant role in the identity and scheduling of many people's lives. Being out of the norm is hard on everyone. By mid-summer our schooled kids were were just as eager to get back to their routine. They'd never admit to being ready to go back to *school* per se, but they were definitely needing to get back to the predictable schedule that comes with being in school. Humans are creatures of habit, you know? I see it as not too different than the phenomenon expressed within this very thread about moms who go out for a few hours sans kids only to find themselves out of sorts (despite wanting or needing time away from "home" LOL). It has much more to do with being off routine than it does trying to avoid anyone. "Why do they even HAVE kids"?!??! Good gravy, that's a stretch of a justification for self-perceived superiority LOL. Here's a tip: The harder you judge, the harder you'll fall :lol: We've all known (or have been) that person eventually humbled by the universe after much loud, short-sighted and shallow commentary about others. Pad your panties!

I don't, no. Through my job, I encounter hundreds of people each day - it's not unusual to see someone using/reading one of those books (including TWTM) that indicate a Likely Homeschooler/Afterschooler :) I always approach, ask, invite if applicable, and share my username. I do understand the desire for relative an annonymity, somewhat now, based on a recent incident. While at work, in a very public and transit environment, I readily recognized a WTM boardie among a sea of several hundred faces. This boardie is a lovely woman with a particularly memorable physical trait that stood out IRL because she was a prolific poster whose avatar was a family portrait. I knew immediately that I had seen her before. It took me a minute to figure out from where, but I knew I "knew" her from somewhere :tongue_smilie:. I have a friend who has been mistaken for me by WTM boardies and apparent lurkers when she chats people up at work or homeschool events. We met pre-homeschooling when we married men who were colleagues, then she got me into the job she and I do :D. Our families are similar, our lifestyles are similar, we're both Asian, kids almost same age, etc. When I was processing this whole "WTM-IRL worlds colliding" situation with her, she said it would've been bad form to approach this boardie in front of her husband and kids because "I knew too much" about them while they didn't know me from Adam. My friend is not so much a fora/online person, and is decidedly more private than I am. I thought she was a freakish exception. I had no idea so many people felt the way she does, but based on this thread .... I must be the freakish exception :confused: :tongue_smilie:I always approach people I think I know or may have something in common with. I love when people approach me, too!

Oh, how awful :grouphug:! I'm intuitive about situations, but entirely too trusting of people (which overrides any intuition I may have about them). I know it's not $35K but I'd rather believe in the goodness of people than to be so cynical that I distrust them all. It might feel disconcerting, but it's the payoff for having a good, trusting heart. Some will take advantage, but that's on them - not you. I'm so sorry you were so betrayed.

I'm usually right. I can almost absolutely tell you correctly ... how a specific person in front of me will act. It comes from years of working customer service LOL. Even now I can tell with 99.9% accuracy just from watching them board, which customers are going to be my fun ones and which are going to be my DYKWIM/PITB ones :tongue_smilie:! The last thing I was right about ... hmm, well, I work for an airline. I showed up in time to work a flight and sensed right away that my trip would be canceled. We boarded, taxiied, and took off. I was just thinking that my intution had failed me (!it usually doesn't!) when I smelled burned chicken. Bird strike! Turned back around and returned to airport. Ha, I felt vindicated that my intuition was still as sharp as ever. We sat at the gate for an hour until they found us a new airplane. So I thought, well my intuition wasn't wrong but merely "off" ;). We boarded, we taxiied, we sat at the end of the runway for 30 minutes and never took off. Returned to the gate, sat for another 30 mintues while the mechanics looked everything over, and began thinking - again - that my intution wasn't wrong, but was certainly getting rusty. And then they pulled the plane out of service. There were no more planes to be found (smaller airport), so they cancelled the flight. There were no more flights to be worked (smaller airport ;)), so flight service cancelled my entire 3-day trip. So my intuition ended up being right, via a very long couple of hours LOL.

Congratulations, and what a handsome family! :lol: that makes it all the more amusing that the prominent book to my own eyes was "A to Zoo" ... I thought, hey! I'm in good company! LOL

airline employee athlete - even an older HS/college student - or coach soldier/recruiter grandparent an old-timer from the area - they have the best stories! a crafter - perhaps from local store? representative from local garden club (or store) art teacher or local artist (or artistic parent) newspaper or local television reporter metereologist My boys did cub scouts and local business owners were always great about coming in (usually with goodies). Probably the (surprisingly to me) biggest hit was the Home Depot guy. He showed tools and brought little orange aprons for everyone.

We don't make beds. But in general I have no problem with requiring one kid do something that I don't require of another kid - sometimes I have a good reason, sometimes I don't, but I'm always willing to discuss my reasoning so long as the "wronged" child is willing to truly listen to it.