I'd have been glad to receive the thank you, but sure - it would have given me pause. If I were going to use it as an example to my kids I think I'd do it very all about me kind of like - "Wow, I spent time selecting a card, attending the party, and I didn't do it for any kind of recognition, but my feelings are a bit hurt to receive such a generic thank you. I suppose it's better than nothing, but I'd have felt good to have my name or a personal touch mentioned."

I think there's a fair middle ground. James needs to be sure that those he refers MENTIONS him as a referer. The onus is on him, and therefore his referrals, to credit him if he wants to be reimbursed or otherwise acknowledged as a referrer. Maybe as you draw up a contract you can even have a space to enter how you heard about Quill's Company, whether by referral or otherwise. BIL is defending a friend, in a position where he feels he needs to. It's possible he agrees with Quill but for whatever reason still feels he has to defend a person he has both professional and personal relationship with. Since he at least sees James' POV, BIL is the right one to tell James that Quill is absolutely interested in maintaining a professional business relationship and wants to take the steps necessary to maintain one. Affirm that the professional community can (maybe is?) somewhat small, and that unless a customer mentions a referrer Quill has no way to know which referrer to compensate. Appeal to James' business sense. Or ask James to do more than word-of-mouth referrals to promote Quill if he expects commission from all of Quill's projects. Put the ball in his court, saying "Sure we'll commission you on everything IF you're willing to up YOUR contribution by doing X" -- in this way it's a business deal James can either accept or decline, but either way he can't justly complain about any outcome. And if he unjustly complains, that gets around. His business will eventually suffer and his referrals may become worth less anyhow. It'll be a bullet dodged in the bigger picture.

:grouphug: Some days, weeks, months, and years are all about surviving each day. Sounds like you're there now. Storms eventually pass and rainbows eventually show. Yours will, too. Hang in there, Mom.

It's amazing what we're capable of when we're motivated by desires instead of obligations. :grouphug: You'll do fine this weekend because you're motivated by a desire to have a great party for your kid instead of the obligation to let your mom know she's being a tool. It won't be easy, but you'll do it because ... that's what YOU do. She doesn't. She won't. That's not going to change, whether you let her have it or not. That's my MIL. I'm not even a Christian but my son taught me the beginning of the prayer of St. Francis so I grit that through my teeth when faced with the kind of situation you are. There's something kind of wrong wrong but oddly calming about gnarling "Lord, make me an instrument of your peace" when you're really just ready to let the acid tongue roll LOL. You're a good mom and even better daughter. Good luck at the party.

Liar :D I just spent the past fifteen minutes looking at your blog (after reading another thread) and thinking you're definitely way interesting. Then I talked about you with my kids. They want a Daisy, they want to move to where they can trips to Scotland, and they want to know why I don't let them blow soda pop bottles in the backyard in the name of science. Basially they want to move to where you are and attend your homeschool LOL. I can have them there by (your) dinner tomorrow :lol: I live with four boys, and loved looking at your pictures -- you're definitely interesting. In a low-key, genuine way and not the over-the-top-is-this-fer-real way like some others are ;).

Shred it for Cabbage Rolls? You can freeze shredded chicken into small batches and thaw as-needed for several weeks. Add to soups, omelettes, ... I'll think of more ... Cube it for lettuce wraps? So many different flavorings: Southwestern, Asian, BBQ Mix it for chicken salad? You could do that with the lettuce wraps or eat plain as a side. Cut into strips for fajitas or green salads. No need for tortillas, just eat the meat and sides without. Serve with steamed or sauteed veggies (squash, peppers). Chop for a stir-fry. Instead of serving over rice, serve over steamed or sauteed veggies (cabbage, carrots)

I'm not on Facebook, but most of my siblings are. I know they talk about me. They tell me they talk about me, and some will email me and ask me to confirm/deny/explain what other siblings have said or attributed to me :) I know that my kids'-moms-friends at least mention me because I overhear it at kids' activities (sports, scouts, etc.) or people come up to me and say, "Hey! Saw you and X were at YYY yesterday" when people use the check-in feature or whatever that is. Come to think about it, I've also had colleagues come up to me and mention they heard I was working with X because of X's Facebook post naming our crew or layover. I don't know if you're naive. Maybe it depends on the personality of the social circle? Mine is comprised of nosy busybodies who are obsessed with FB and sharing every minute detail of their social lives. So it stands to reason that as frequent IRL contingent within that (and the only one not on Facebook), they're talking about me (trash or otherwise).

Mine nursed throughout the night (we co-slept and I can sleep through anything, so they had free/easy access as they needed it) through 4-5 years old. One has had dental issues (a tooth grew in decayed and there have been more cavities than this kid is years old), and one has had nary a problem at all (perfect dental health). One has teeth like my side, one has teeth like daddy's side. Their diets and lifestyle habits were identical. I think genetics and proneness play as important a role - if not moreso - than how a baby is fed.

I don't have a blog. I don't have enough time to devote to one, or enough things to say to warrant one LOL. My sister has a blog that makes her a small income. She started it as a way to keep in touch with friends and inlaws who lived afar, to have an outlet for her need to journal and write, to find a platform to spew her opinions without interruption (comments are fine, she just wants to getitallout first ;)), and to give her a purpose beyond the mundane day-to-day of staying home with little ones. It evolved into a reviews and giveaway blog, and has become something of a quarter-time job - with the benefit of lots of neat freebies and being able to share those with her followers.

Marinate overnight for sure! I think they'd be good in a stir fry, but for guaranteed tenderness I'd probably use a dutch oven or crockpot. If you like ethnic, try to make rendang :)

Rumaki :D You can do with chicken livers (or if you don't like liver, small chicken breast bits)

I (still) drive my poor Type A parents B*A*T*T*Y :lol: (Just wait until your Type B kids start driving. You. LOL Good times, good times.)

I'm not a closet nurser but in my family extended nursing was the norm so I have a good support system in place. I was definitely not the norm where we lived, but I had family nearby and I tend not to care what others think anyhow so it didn't bother me. My good friend from those years had zero support, a wary husband, and a people-pleasing personality. It was very hard for her. Mine nursed beyond 3.

That's funny, we're the opposite. I've always had hair that was waist-length or longer but I cut it "short" (it'd still be medium-long to most people but for people like me and you it was SHORT!) once during a pregnancy fit and my husband LOVED it. He's always saying he misses me with short hair. I had a haircut gone awry a year or so back where I tried to cut off about 12" to my bra-strap (as a nod to him) and walked out with hair at my shoulders! I was devestated! My husband was thrilled! LOL Can you think about it as a transition time? It's a weird time for women and hair. Hormones wreck havoc on the hair, the gray growth is awkward, ... it's important for you to feel beautiful, this of ALL times in your life! Explain to him that during this transition time you need to work on making the transition less awkward; once you're through it, you can go back to finding a length and style you can work with. Seriously, I totally get the texture change thing - it's awful! It's like growing out bangs or a perm (or maybe even a beard, if he can relate to that). You have to "make do for now" while your hair figures itself out; once the hair settles down into a new albeit different habit, you're better able to learn how to work with what you've (now) got.

ME, too! :tongue_smilie: And that's just MY stuff, not the stuff that really belongs to my sisters but we swap around to share. I have favorites that I remember, but other than that I have my shoes organized in boxes, photo in front, and shelved by color. Within their color family they are the semi-organized by "type" (boots, flats, heels) but only very loosely. I'm anti-organization but I have a very anal sister who likes to shop my stash so this is how she makes that easier for herself LOL. I don't have to remember what they look like, just that I want x-color and a rough idea of what type. I have several sisters who are all about the handbags and shoes. We're all roughly the same size which is fabulous. We have smaller feet so it's always easy to find great shoes at excellent prices. Because we combine our stashes, we're able to buy more and higher quality stuff. They're all very trendy (I'm not) so when something is ten seconds old in the fashion world, but everyone else in the world that isn't an elitist fashionista is still wearing it, I inherit it all my sisters' goodies :D. My brother briefly dated a girl who I suspect was more interested in my sisters' stash than she was my brother :lol:.

:D Sounds like a keeper! Go wood :tongue_smilie:

My gut reaction is A. But I'd have to really consider how likely it was that I'd "eventually" get around to making it that perfect house. It's easy to have plans for all of that cosmetic work, but are you the type of family that will really get it done? This is a great choice for Type A people LOL. You buy it, budget and plan for 1-2 projects per year, and make it happen. (I'm a Type B person, so I'd move in with a ton of ideas and never find the funding or time to put those plans into fruition. Certainly not with young kids, they exaggerate my Type B tendencies LOL.) Length of mortgage isn't a factor for me; I know people like to have those paid off, but I'm fine carrying that debt because it frees my money for higher-yielding investments. If that were important to me, I'd have no problem extending from 10-15, but going from 10 to a possible 20 year could become overwhelming. I'd question that decision, and maybe make it the deciding factor. So, what kind of person are you? What type of family are you? :tongue_smilie:

I'm not coordinated enough to knit or crochet, but I draw and doodle. On everything - napkins, business cards people hand me. I always have pencils handy, pens are never hard to come by, and it's something I do without realizing I'm even doing it (if that makes any sense). So it's not the same, but I've discovered that it's sometimes okay and it's sometimes not. I have to work hard to read the individual and take it on a case by case basis. So that's what I do. It's not something I can do whilst maintaining excellent eye contact - so there's that - but I pause frequently as I sketch, and make eye contact frequently enough that (I hope) the other person isn't put off. I'll ask if it bothers people. They almost always say no, but I can tell that some people are just saying that to be polite; if I sense that, I make an excuse to stop that allows all of us to save face. And I note it for next time. I don't want to put anyone off, you know? So, short answer: it depends on the person, place, and situation. If it were going to bother me that someone else was doing it, it'd bother me if I was needing/hoping for some one-on-one time to process something important. Casual conversations, regular get-togethers, and gatherings of 3+ I don't think it'd even register at all (much less register as 'rude').

I don't like wood floors in kitchens and bathrooms, but we just bought my aunts a home that has hardwood in both PLUS the laundry room. It's on my short-but-not-immediate list of things to remodel. (And over the past centuries, leaky and convenient appliances weren't a problem, therefore wood floors in kitchens were less of a problem as well!) If you stain the concrete to blend with the wood floors, I don't think it'll look too choppy - it's just about selecting shades and blending the spaces. It could look choppy if there were three different floorings going on in one sweeping view, and they were all extremely different textures and colors. I think tile throughout depends on where you live, and what your market is. Like a PP, I've lived in South Florida and in the islands where it's the local culture to have tile throughout. Where I live now, ... not so much. A home with that in my region would stand out. If you're going to live there for 10+ years, who cares :) put tile in if you'd like! But if you may sell before that point, it might not be the best investment flooring-wise if it doesn't fit your local, regional culture.

Maybe the nerves are slightly damaged? Don't know, but I can bump this and hope somebody else does :)

Brag away, that's a phenomenal achievement! What great motivation to keep at it, and drop that final few :)

Our layout works perfectly for us, but it was a custom designed home with our family's needs in mind :) We're a multi-generational, extended family home. It was important to have ample shared space interspersed with pockets of personal space. It was desireable to have some bedrooms grouped in separate pockets of the home, rather than clumped together in one side/wing. We wanted multiple laundry rooms, and one on each level. And my grandmother has always said the kitchen should be towards the center of the home (not sharing a wall or window with the outdoors), so that's what ours does - it functions as a true hub.

Selfish? I don't think so. Seems more considerate to try to avoid adding stress and potential (likely?) chaos to an already stressful and chaotic day/situation. But try explainin' that to them, though, right? :grouphug:

I married into active duty, so re-arranging his work schedule isn't always feasible but he's done it where and when he's been able to. He's volunteered for much less desireable duty stations and overseas assignments with my (financially unnecessary but important-to-me) job in mind. I feel he recognizes and appreciates the sacrifices I've made for him/his job, and he's willing to return the favor. In that sense, he's always been extremely supportive. As for support making other things happen? I don't rely on his support for that. I don't think I ever have. I live with extended family so it's never really even come up (trips, back to school, etc.) because it can/does happen independent of his support. We're not just "us" we function within a larger family unit. It's never been a problem for either of us to do what we wanted to do WRT school, travel, trips, work. My husband and I talk things through, but it's never me soliciting anything more than his insight and opinion (definitely not his permission). We've never operated any other way. His parents are in the "let" camp; his associations with that arrangment are reflective of things gone poorly, not things done as-its-ideally-supposed-to-be. He's not able to offer day-to-day hands-on specific support but he's always been behind me for the big stuff. I'm not complaining, I prefer it to the alternative.

You couldn't have planned it any better had you tried! Glad it was great, happy birthday and here's to at least 33 more :)