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eternalknot

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Everything posted by eternalknot

  1. Maybe he can write a haiku, or find a Japanese proverb? One of my favorites is: knowledge without wisdom is like a load of books on the back of an a$$. I have fond memories of my own grandmother always muttering a short form of that one LOL. ETA: does he do calligraphy?
  2. Sounds like Team Parrothead had the right peson at the helm. The one who knows to always, always have a pace car :D! Welcome home, Speedster!
  3. Small world! My husband does the same LOL. :lol: Re-runs of that show is one way my family learned English. I hadn't remembered that episode, but that's funny! My husband's family grew up (Catholic) in a nearby country, also Communist. Their faith through it all has always impressed me.
  4. I was over 21. I hadn't needed it before that point. I only got it at my husband's request because he grew up with an "everybody drives" mentality and he felt uncomfortable with my being unlicensed while he was in the field once I became pregnant. Beyond my driving test, I didn't drive until well after that child was born. Still hadn't needed to until that point LOL but it gave my husband peace of mind.
  5. I think it's a normal phase to go through, but it can also be exacerbated by a few things -- one, the perception of never being believed about anything and deciding to fulfill that prophecy OR two, pure laziness or embarassment driven by a desire to defer any consequences in hope "nobody will notice or care" by that point. I'm sure there are more but those are the areas of which I'm most familiar. The snacks could be a physiological thing, a compulsion if you're actively trying to curb her sugar intake and her body wants or needs more (whether physically or mentally). She's not thinking logically, but reacting on a biological level. Or it could be that she is acting out against however you're trying to curb her sugar intake (is it a control issue from her POV? a struggle from yours?) and she binged or otherwise demonstrated lack of self-control and is otherwise embarassed. She knows the truth will come out (I'm assuming your DH will believe you, and that DD also knows this) so whatever the motivation it's a lie of desperation. That's a different beast than a garden-variety lie, IMO. Lying about everything else -- school, chores ... those are things that are an easier fix, though somewhat inconvenient for you as you're handling it. So what happens when you discover that her schoolwork isn't completed - did you have her do it right then and there upon discovery? did you save it for her to do tomorrow during school? what will happen time-wise now that she's effectively behind by a day? what did she do during the day instead, when you were still under the assumption the work had been done? (Rhetorical questions. Ask yourself what she gained by lying and putting off the work. Figure out how to squash a repeat opportunity.) So maybe it means that you have to sit next to her while she works next week. And maybe it means this doesn't leave you your usual time to prepare meals or do your own chores, so naturally you'll require more contribution from the family (or eat simple meals or defer afternoon extracurriculars or plans to get chores completed.) Or if that's not possible, maybe it means that after every subject she must check in with you so you can do a quick check that the work is completed. This will slow her down and extend her school day a bit, depending on how you handle it (e.g., I'd not drop everything to check, I'd build in a small wait as I do any other unnecessary interruption to my work.) As to the cheating - I think this is a normal outlet to see how far one can get with something, knowing it's not right, and justifying it to oneself (or in this case, oneself AND one's sister LOL). Maybe it's time to re-read or assign The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Really, IMO when you focus on the actual behavior and try to discipline INDEPENDENt of working on it as a character issue ... they just get better at the behavior, and at hiding it. Remind her that all she has is her word, and once people no longer believe it ... well, it can take A LONG TIME for people to feel they can trust her again. Not just you, but her friends. Maybe there's someone in your life you can use as an example? Then discipline in a way that supports this as a character issue moreso than you do punish. Kindly but unapologetically ask for tangible proof of the things she says. She'll eventually realize that not everything she says will have tangible proof ("I love you" or "I'm sorry" for example) and how important her word really is. Eventually LOL.
  6. I think a Snapple Binder would be great - you can keep a running notebook of the facts, research, and photos of related projects. Keep a running tally of the most interesting, and at the end of the year send that one to Mythbusters to see if it's really true :D. With the caps you could do a few things: store them in large jars/containers by general topic. Rotate the jars on the kitchen table, and use throughout the day as mini-challenges. Do a blind draw for a lid, phrase the fact in trivia-question form, and see who remembers what. Or put magnets on the topside of the lids and attach to the fridge. Similarly, if you have a hallway you can inexpensively line either half (top or bottom) with corrugated steel and use the lids as (magnetic) art. Maybe make one of those bead-like room divider things that hang down. I'd pick their closet so I didn't have to walk through it LOL. They'll stop on a different fact each time, and it'll make a nice jingle-jangle :) Since we're nearing Christmas, you can use the caps to make gift clocks. 12 lids per clock, one for each hour? And/or as pendants for conversation-starter necklaces (or you can do a resin-fill LOL). And/or tree ornaments. Maybe frame their bathroom mirror? Maybe a doorway? Maybe a wall in the garage? Make shadowboxes and use as decor? Even more inexpensively, you could dedicate a wall in one room (hall, laundry, school, wherever) and just keep adding them to the wall as you get them. Like they do with autographed photos in bars, you know? Just fill the ENTIRE wall eventually. Sounds fun, enjoy it!
  7. Thank you SO MUCH for the BTDT and reviews. There are a few cars mentioned that I hadn't heard of so I'll have to do some more homework :) I'm hoping to wrap up the research angle and get to the test-drive angle by next weekend. Thanks for the heads up about the MDX deals. That's the one I best liked the looks of, but I don't know anyone IRL who has or had one. I've never owned a VW, but we've had several BMWs and an Audi -- all of them were fabulous until about 7 years, then they all starting going bad. The Audi actually did okay until the 10 year mark, but I thought maybe it was a German thing so I was hesitant to invest in a VW sedan this time around. I feel better about considering it now that I've read more positive feedback. Thanks again!
  8. It's definitely a successful day when you've found both chocolate AND a substitute teacher :D LOL. Here's to more good days!
  9. I've heard of her and Wrinkle In Time, but I've never read it (or her). You've inspired me to pick it up next week on library day. 50,000,000 Elvis fans can't be wrong ... right? :D
  10. Albania. We have a local bistro owned by Albanians, and I can't tell you how many times I've heard: Customer, "Where are you from?" Owner, "Albania." Customer, "Never heard of it." Maybe Montenegro or Macedonia. Nobody has heard of the former and everything thinks the latter is ancient history (literally). My husband is from that area, though, so maybe I wouldn't know either if I hadn't married him :confused: LOL. (Okay, it's not as cool as Djibouti but it's obscure enough whilst still finding a decent amount of information about it for research purposes!)
  11. I work on an airplane. I make small talk in operations with the crew; I make small talk at the gate with other employees; I make small talk with passengers as they board; I make small talk during the service; I make small talk as they invade my galley while I'm eating and they're waiting to use the lav; I make small talk when they deplane; I make small talk on the van at at the hotel check-in desk ... pretty much I'm a professional small-talk-maker :tongue_smilie:. And that's just my paid job, not my side gig as a chauffeur to kids' extracurriculars LOL. Know a few recent Things That Have Been In The News (not political, obviously LOL), and have those in the back of your mind as emergency topics. Just browse the headlines of the USA Today on your way out the door or watch fifteen minutes of the morning news show. Alternatively, be familiar with whatever it is The Public is reading these days - like Hunger Games or 50 Shades or whatever the It Book is right now. Be able to contribute SOMETHING about a recent news item if someone else brings it up; you can use this to volley the topic back to them, then ask them to elaborate their opinion/insight/etc. Ask a question that makes them feel knowledgeable, like they know something you don't about the immediate surroundings (artist/art/venue/event/etc). It's less interrogative, so less awkward. It takes the pressure off, too. People like to feel smart. And some people like to feel smarter LOL. Either way, it's a good way to get them doing the talking. Things that can get awkward when commenting on something specific to the other person ("Oh, you look great in purple!" or "Wow, gorgeous earrings!") -- half of the people won't take the bait and then the crickets show up chirping after their obligatory "Thank you." Not worth the gamble LOL. It's good to be verbally demonstrative, moreso than usual. Throw in some "Uh-huhs" and "Right, yes, I know!" at strategic times to keep them going. Even (most) extroverts will stop talking if they're not getting encouraging feedback from the other person. Cue the awkward silence LOL. IME the thing with small talk is that it's less about what you're actually talking about and more about the VIBE you're exchanging (if that makes sense). It's kind of just basically feeding off of each other's energy. What I mean is that even if you follow everyone's suggestions to the letter, if you're feeling anxious or out-of-place then that's going to overpower any verbal cues or participation. The small talking WILL be awkward. And even if you have absolutely nothing to discuss, and you show up with a blank mind and no plan for conversation, that if you have a good energy about you there will be no shortage of extroverts who seek you out and initiate (then guide) the small talk. They'll feed off of your vibe.
  12. Do you know what's selfish? Trying in vain to do "what you think you should do" knowing that it's not what works but you can't shake the guilt ... and then throwing the family into upheaval trying to do "good" when your heart knows it was never a good idea to begin with. Trust yourself. Trust that you know yourself, and your family. Trust that even when that inevitable and occasional pull comes around ... you spend a moment on it, then shake it and go right back to trusting yourself. ITA. But how can you say that ... know that ... and still feed those kernels of doubt that you're a good mother for opting out of all that? :grouphug: Just stop. Acknowledge it, but don't buy into it. I'm not one who believes all comparisons are bad, I think they are normal and sometimes even healthy. To that end I'd say how you've compared yourself to your friends was fine - you kept it to yourself (and us LOL), and it helped you to process your own feelings to sort through this particular struggle. I believe you that you weren't being judgmental, that you care about your friends and their kids. Doubt affects us all at some point or another. Shrug it off.
  13. Reading more of the thread, and adding ... the student matters, too. I'm able to do a lot of extracurriculars and field trips because my kids are good about getting their work done. They know that school comes first, and the extras will cease if their effort does. I'm also lucky to have kids that really just don't mind school all that much. They have phases of being giant PITBs but for the most part we've worked through those and gotten to the "it's not going away, make the most of it" perspective. Extras are just that - extra. You can fight me about math and spend six hours crying at the table and you'll still have to work through it. Or you can focus, knock it out in 30 minutes, and free up our afternoon for something fun. My kids get that, thank goodness LOL.
  14. We're a very busy and on-the-go family. Lots of extracurriculars with lots of field trips scheduled in. Our only workbook-y subjects are Math and Latin. Other than that our school is very conversational, involved, teacher-intensive ... but that's also why and how we can do it on-the-go. We don't have to be sitting at the table or direct-teach necessarily (beyond those workbook subjects). We don't have pages to finish or curriculum maps that need checking off. We're able to multi-task as we're on the go :) Subjects that some study formally or via curriculum (spelling, science) we study without a curriculum, which lends considerable flexibility. It's about educational philosophy and style. My two closest homeschool-mom friends fall on opposite sides of the spectrum. One is very rigorous, Classical-style, college-prep and formal. She's strict about school being 9-2, no interruptions, and her kids do a number of extracurriculars but evenings only. The other is very relaxed, get-them-through-high-school and informal. She uses workbooks exclusively, fit around their errands and other life, and her kids get one extracurricular plus scouts. Both have five children each. We're all just plugging along doing the best we can. We're able to be frank with one another; to share our concerns and comparisons without worry of judgment. It happens to everyone, the questioning and insecurity. None of us feels we're doing anything any better than the other; we all know we're doing what works for our individual families, and that our families have very different needs, desires, tolerance levels, and overall dynamics. That's all it really boils down to :)
  15. My glasses aren't rosy because I grew up in a large family, so most of my friends were (still are ;)) my siblings and cousins. Not much has changed on that front, so it's easy to remember things as they were (still sometimes are ;)).
  16. State ID, ... you can make your own school ID using a basic photo editing program and having it laminated :)
  17. I'm in the market for two cars. I'm open to buying new or used-but-not-more-than-three-years-old. IRL suggestions have been: For sedans - Kia Optima, VW Passat, Toyota Camry For SUVs - Toyota RAV4, Honda CRV, Acura MDX Here are my wants: FIRST is a mid-size to large sedan. It'll be driven mostly as a secondary car, but we'll be transporting tall, leggy teenage boys so there needs to be a fair amount of legroom from the back seat. We also prefer a bench seat because it's not uncommon to have 3 kids in the back (two who are still in carseats, so the hump needs to be ... sittable LOL). SECOND is a mid-size SUV to downsize from our Pilot. We no longer need the third row since the olders are now driving themselves and we have less in carseats. I don't mind a third row, but I don't want to drive something as big as the Pilot. This will be my primary car. The minivans don't do it for me - the backrow is too small for as many carseats as we need, but also too tight to comfortable seat the older kids. ** I'd really like a separate heat/cool system for the back, but I'm not sure if that's offered for the mid-size? ** Anyone have/drive/know about any of these? I'm a sucker for a smart-talker, so I need to know before I go to the lots and get suckered into buying something I don't really want :tongue_smilie:.
  18. We have dental insurance that provides for two cleanings per year, for each of us, free (no co-pay). I take my kids in once a year, most years. I like having them at least SEEN once a year as they're growing. I don't go at all as I don't care to have my teeth cleaned LOL. I go in every 4-5 years to have my implants checked, usually when the dentist's office manager starts bugging me about how long it's been since I've come in for myself and not just the children :) I absolutely think you could go down to one cleaning every 12-18 months, especially if you have a fairly benign medical history and are good about staying on top of hygiene/checks at home.
  19. What good news to hear she was able to relax, poor baby ... here's hoping the next 24 hours passes quickly, and that you all get some answers soon. :grouphug:
  20. Good call, I didn't read clearly enough to see it was a Greek Fest. I just saw "church" and "sanctuary" LOL.
  21. Put your phone in airplane mode. That's what I do when I know what's comin' LOL. Will your husband see your side? Mine always felt torn between me (and he agreed with me) and loyalty to his family. It could definitely get stressful. But with the kids are gone, there's a lot more you can relax and do to help him ... um, ease that stress and forget about his family ;).
  22. What would they do without us pointing out the obvious? ;) I have one brother still unmarried, and always asking me to set him up with my friends. Uh, no. I like my friends and want them to STAY my friends :D LOL. Love him, but yeah - not surprised he's still single and 35!
  23. Even though they attend the same school, my kids have given "their" school different names. Not that we need a name for anything, they just wanted to each have one because our friends' school had one LOL. My son attends Pleasant Oak, the name of a nearby subdivision. My daughter attends St. Anne's, she loves anything to do with St. Anne.
  24. My kids attend a Catholic church, which I imagine to be similar. Covered shoulders are important. Knee-length or longer skirts/dresses, or slacks. Nothing cut too low in front, I think the kids' church is 2-3 fingers from the sternum. "Sunday best" versus "everyday wear". That's what I remember from going with my kids. I had to buy special outfits LOL.
  25. Bras? Oh, gosh, lots. My boobs have been a variety of shapes and sizes, and some bras are just too pretty to part with so I keep them to share with my little sisters. Yes, we share bras LOL. But excluding those, I do like to have enough to keep them aired out in between wearings and I like to coordinate them with my clothes. Plus I have special ones for work, and others for working out. I have some for white clothes, some for black clothes, some for adult-time clothes, and I wear lots of strapless so I have some in different colors and varying depths for those. I'm not a fan of the visible bra strap, so I have a few crossovers in solid colors, too. And I buy pretty ones because I like pretty ones. The irony is that I only wear bras when I'm out of the house. I don't wear them at home, so they don't get a lot of wear. All get worn regularly, just not frequently LOL.
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