I am Buddhist by birth. I don't actively practice, but do attend temple for important days and family events. Buddhism is evident in many of our family and cultural traditions, but I've not formally studied it - just lived it, I guess. I've had Mommy Friends ask me about Buddhism; I think as a philosophy it's very attractive to many people, even those in other faiths. One asked me to review a book for her, to see if it was "authentic" and I think it might be of interest to some of you. It read like a gentle introduction to how you can begin applying Buddhist principles straight away. It's called Buddhism for Mothers. This friend never ended up getting much into Buddhism, but still credits this book with forever changing her parenting approach. It's not meaty, so if you're well into your spiritual journey it may be too ... superficial, obvious, or lacking ... but for those new to Buddhism it might offer a way to begin applying Buddhist principles straight away to what is a significant portion of our (present) lives: mothering. It covers the most basic Buddhist beliefs, those central to all sects, and is a great way to start building a foundation. As you research more, then you can narrow down those sects which appeal most to you. But to start, it's a good place.

I don't think it's unreasonable to say, "Asked and answered" - you've obviously acknowledged her concerns, and have already addressed them. That you're not giving her the guidance she's hoping or wanting to hear, isn't really your problem, you know? (Of course you do LOL, but she needs to!) Your opinion and advice on how she can handle the situation isn't going to change. If she were a friend complaining about a less-than-desireable situation ad nauseum, whilst not doing anything to change said situation ... you'd probably reach the same point you have with your daughter. Now that your DD is an adult, I think it's fine to treat her as a fellow adult. "We've discussed this. You know my opinion. You don't agree with my opinion. For the sake of all that is right and holy in this world, we need to agree to not discuss it unless something changes. On your end. :tongue_smilie:!" Or she needs to make friends with (or hire) someone who drives. Either way she needs to get over it. If she wants to engage in a war of complaints, do that LOL. We all have our mountains to cross, so to speak. The mountain isn't going anywhere, so standing at the bottom waiting for IT to move is a futile exercise. It's up to me to figure out how to navigate it. I also tell them that every successful climber has her sherpa, and that while I'm available for the job ... I'm not desperate for it. If you want sympathy, find a peer; if you're open to my wisdom, I'm open to sharing it. I have a sister close in age to your daughter. I empathize LOL.

I'd understand it in certain circumstances, but not all. Moved away? Not so much slighted; there's a time for that, and in some cases a genuine need to spend time away growing into oneself ... taking advantage of opportunities and youth - great experiences. Settled down permanently away? Absolutely, yes. I'd feel slighted, hurt, and probably offended. It would likely mean he's prioritized something else over family. If it's a spouse's family, no offense taken; if it's a career, some offense taken - depends largely on the career type and length. I'm investing time and energy into my children, and I expect some return on that investment. Namely, I expect they put time and energy back into our family. Whilst not impossible if they settled permanently away, highly unlikely to happen to my satisfaction. I have different cultural expectations than what I've read of others on this thread. I grew up in a multi-generational home, and my kids currently live in one. I don't expect my children to live with me as married adults (though I'd prefer it!), but I do expect to be a frequent and regular presence in the lives of my grandchildren. I'd be particularly offended if my children lived away from both sets of grandparents and paid strangers to help raise the grandkids. That's inexcusable, to me. Signed, The Lone Dissenter :D

My nephew just turned three :) I bought him a stuffed animal (to open then/there) and a zoo membership. He also got a superhero cape w/accessories, a chalkboard/painting easel w/supplies, some nerf balls and a plastic basketball hoop that suctions onto the glass door, and bean bags. Believe it or not the bean bags were a huge hit with all of the kids that day LOL ... they played hot potato, basketball, tag, and Simon Says, to name a few. Very versatile. My daughter and neice sewed and filled them. Does he like to sing? I have another nephew turning 3 in September and we're getting him an inexpensive karaoke machine. It's really a family gift, but he's young enough to not notice that :D He can't read the lyrics (yet) but he puts in a CD and likes to hear himself rock the mic. Whenever he comes to my house it's the first thing he runs to.

My weekend was uneventful. I worked :D. I ate out twice today LOL. Dinner was a local Italian bistro, and I ate angel hair tossed with olive oil, cilantro, garlic, and tomato. DE-lish! Projects this week, yes. My brothers and I are re-painting the verandas at our parents' home. They got estimates from two companies that were INSANE (to us, our parents felt fine with the estimates) so we offered to do it for much less. Specifically, we're doing it for dinner both days and a fridge full of beer. Instead of paying $7000 it'll cost 'em $100. They'll probably get what they paid for :tongue_smilie:. (Kidding. We've painted them before. We're no pros, but we're convincing amateurs!)

I'm not a fan of chore charts. There are a few philosophical reasons, but also a big reason is that it's really just one more thing (chore?) for me to keep up with. If I was already doing well at keeping up with things, there'd be no use or point for a chore chart! LOL My kids have always done chores, and they generally do them without grumbling. Nobody is doing backflips when it's time to clean (including me) but it's a given expectation and it gets done without much -if any- fuss. I'm sure part of that is the general disposition of my kids, some of it is our family culture, and much of it boils down to consistency. We're consistent. We're not always trying to institute new, clever ways to get the boring crap jobs done .. we don't negotiate what needs doing/when .. we don't require 'cheerful obedience' (you can be annoyed, just put that energy into your job because you're gonna have to do it anyway ;) and do it quietly because nobody else gives a rip) .. we don't tie chores into other things (tv/technology, extracurriculars, friends) .. we just acknowledge it's nobody's favorite thing to do, that there's never a great time to do it, and ... that it still needs to get done, so oh well LOL; get it done well, get it out of the way, and get on with the day/week/month until it has to be done again. The trade-off is that the adult/s have to be okay with some jobs not being done to adult standards, and to realize that it takes time to truly learn how to clean well. I think many adults gloss over the teaching part, and just over expect kids to intuitively know how to clean well to their adult standards. Not necessarily you, just in general. Along those lines, the trade-off for my kids folding linens is that my linen closet went from hyper-organized with each type of linen in its own basket and baskets color-coded to type of linen ... to something like "the bigger the item, the lower the shelf" with napkins sometimes mingling with washcloths (instead of being in color-coded baskets on different shelves). I have to brace myself before I open the door and remind myself that at least someone else was doing the linens and they've organized is -if loosely- in a way that is still workable. If mildly annoying (to me) LOL. 4-5 year olds can fold towels, pair socks, dust shelves/tables, put away silverware (and non-breakable dishes or any dish kept low), wipe counters/tables, sweep, put away small dresser laundry, squirt shower walls (non-toxic products, like vinegar), tear apart beds for laundry, ... some can wash laundry. Also, water plants, fluff pillows, pre-wash tubs (baking soda and a sponge), organize pantry, unload groceries, empty small household trash to larger can, feed pets. 8 year olds can do the above plus mop, vacuum, prepare or help prep meals, mirrors/windows, clean refrigerator, make beds, put away clean hanging laundry, wash faucets/outer toilets, weed the yard, and take larger trash cans to curb. I don't pay my kids for everyday chores. I'm not familiar with Dave Ramsey other than knowing from here that he's some money guy. Instead of paying out a commission, I just generally keep a tally in my head and when the kids ask/want something I oblige (or not) based on their output. They put into the family, they get to share the resources - it's just way more informal (and thereby easier for me to keep track of, see first paragraph above LOL). If you're looking to track a commission, I suppose I'd have a list posted as to what each chore was worth ... then as a kid completed each chore, he could add it to his own list (the 5 year old would need some help, obviously) and I'd initial it upon inspection and satisfaction of completion. I'd pay out on (my) payday, either every other week or once monthly, using each child's list as a timecard kind of thing to refer back to. My kids don't have set chores. It's pretty much do it as you see it, and (since that's not popular with the younger set!) do it as *I* see it and ask you to do it :D

Clementine or Evangeline? (YMMV but I like the "-een" ending for Clementine and the "-ine" ending for Evangeline, especially with 'Ruth'.) My friend is French, and has daughters named Delphine and Mathilde. Either can be made into three syllables by adding an -a to the end (Delphina, Mathilda). Neither child has been saddled with a nickname. She initially worried about Mathilde becoming "Matty" or "Mady" but she's 12 and it's yet to happen! And not French, but three syllables: Gwendolyn Francesca Josephine I don't know the meanings of any of them, sorry. I don't know the meanings of my own kids' names LOL. Congratulations!

meatballs pierogies/ravioli-type stuff egg rolls - but if you don't normally eat these, stuff w/something familiar and savory (pot pie type stuff) potstickers/shumai shredded meats - all kinds and varieties to add to noodle or rice dishes chicken thighs - then add some tomato sauce and cheese when warming to make a parmesan-type meal hamburger patties rice and beans

My brother brought over Italian from a mom-and-pop in town. I had salad and spaghetti marinara, and a few too many garlic rolls LOL.

This wouldn't bother me, but my family dynamic is set up differently. My younger kids are (always) expected to obey the older kids, and since the older kids (rarely) take advantage of that this kind of arrangment works for us - even when we're all at home together. My friend has four kids, same age span as mine. The siblings are close but have more tendency towards infighting - they're not accustomed to being a hierarchy, so when an older one (tries to) pull rank, the younger ones (will usually) revolt. The situation described in the OP would NOT work for them for longer than 30 minutes. She'd probably need to make alternate arrangments in this case. I don't think anyone would be offended if she described her situation exactly like that: "My kids don't do well when the 11 year old is left in charge of the younger ones" -- it's nothing to do with other family or their choices, it's a non-arguable discernment of one's own family. I like the idea posted earlier about offering to pay one of the older girls to babysit. I hope you're able to make this trip happen :)

Should I clarify that despite my female anatomy, neither am I? :tongue_smilie:

I know shoyu has wheat in it, so that's out. I'm not familiar with your specific dietary requirements, so I'm going to just list some (other) pantry ingredients and you can discern if they'll fit within your parameters :) Sesame oil Sesame seeds Fish sauce Dashi Shrimp paste Mirin Rice Vinegar Sake Coconut Milk Chili oil (or maybe sambal) Hot mustard or wasabi Peanut oil Nori Five-Spice powder Curries Rice! and/or rice noodles Arrowroot powder ... that's off of the top of my head, non-fresh ingredients. Other obvious things would be garlic, ginger, mushrooms, bok choy or similar green, daikon, water chestnuts, jicama, bamboo shoots, baby corn, maybe tropical fruits if you're doing Pacific Island foods. HTH?

None of these really apply to me because I live in a multi-generational and extended family home; there is always someone older around. Always. This is to the dismay of our children, who envy friends that DO have their homes to themselves, at times. :D Who knows what I'd do in that given situation, but I'd focus on maturity rather than age. For one of my kids, I'd have felt comfortable with either option around age 8-9. For the 11 year old nephew that lives with me, I still don't feel comfortable #1 but would probably do #2 only if in a pinch (so, not just by his request.)

:D For sure! (And the baristas would probably give you a freebie just to thank you for taking me off of their hands!) We're doing SOTW4 next year and have tentative plans to visit your WW1 museum, so maybe we can circumvent the bad plane part and still get to meet up LOL. OP, I don't agree with your husband but I respect his taking a stand that he feels is important. I'm sorry he's taking a bit of a beating in the thread, because I don't think he's being a tyrant - he's just making choices that he feels are best for his kids, based on what he knows and believes to be true. I'd even go so far as to loosely compare it to one's decision to homeschool. I hope you're able to reach a solution that each of you feels comfortable with. We all have our hot-button issues and we all have those hills we're willling to die on (even when they seem minor to others). It becomes important, though, to make sure we're not dying in vain; that our death goes noticed. I'm not sure that a stand like this huts anyone but your own family. Why? Well, the TSA doesn't even know that you're taking a stand. (Not to mention, while not a regular and on-going presence, the TSA does do intermittent, unpublished checks at Amtrak stations. Have your husband research "VIPR" - not to challenge him, but so he can see that the issue is bigger than he may realize.) (Well, on second thought, maybe you oughtn't, lest that cause him to cancel your trip altogether :() I do share your husband's opinion on the broader political issue, and would encourage him to consider a more pro-active role in fighting the government (than this more reactive role that goes unnoticed by the powers that be). :grouphug:

I'm neither physically nor verbally demonstrative, but it seems people tend to most often equate that with "nurturing" - so in that regard, I'd say I haven't learned. And oh, I have no desire or plan to LOL. I parent pretty much identically to the way my female relatives and neighbors did. They're more likely described as "stoic" but we never felt they were cold, distant, or uncaring. I think I'd describe myself as "intuitive" moreso than "nurturing," and more than anything I'm more matter-of-fact. In our culture, babyhood usually through the preschool years - so while not necessarily physically demonstrative (hugs, kisses, etc.) the kids are always in someone's arms, on someone's lap, or sharing someone's bed. You won't hear many "I love you!"s or cooing, but the kids are respectfully spoken to and invited to participate pretty openly in adult/family conversations. I see my Western friends being so demonstrative with their children, and it feels incredibly ridiculous and forced when I try it out on my own kids (or on theirs, for that matter LOL). They make it look so natural and easy, but it's just not me. Ironically enough, I'm the mom many of kids we know will come to when they need advice or to vent/cry. There are a number of more classically nurturing moms in our social circle, but like cats who will only rub up against the one person in the room who doesn't like cats ... kids of all ages seek out me, the one person in our circle who would never be confused for nurturing. It's weird.

You're a real trooper. When my husband deployed and people said that, I'd think: "Well, what choice do I really have?" but you're pushing through your own physical issues to care for those of your girls. It can't be easy. You're doing awesome, Mom. For decades my SIL had physical problems that eluded many specialists until one doctor found the common denominator: low body temperature. Fixed that, and now she's a new person. The feeling of powerlessness can get overwhelming when doctors can't pinpoint the problem - I sure hope they get to the bottom of your DD's health problems soon ((((hugs)))) and that your youngest DD's don't continue to complicate the situation. Stay resilient, and make sure you keep taking care of yourself, too.

I had a plane break down there, and we sat for 4 hours waiting for the part to be flown in. I got to know the Starbucks baristas pretty well :tongue_smilie:there wasn't anywhere else to go or anything else to do!

I'm not out to change anybody's mind, but perhaps the discussion can be put on hold while you and your husband do some more research? At this point no one is asking anyone else to compromise, just to keep an open mind while you thoroughly investigate all of your options. It may turn out that you end up preferring the train or that he ends up realizing the kids would be fine flying - anything is possible. Both of you should read around the Flyertalk forums (it's the WTM for the flying public), specifically the Safety/Security subforum. You'll find up-to-date security checkpoint experiences and even debate about the whole rigamarole. It's not just for and by Joe & Jane Traveler; TSA agents frequent the board, too. It's an interesting place to gather the newest information and a great source for re-con WRT your specific airports. FWIW, I feel as strongly as your husband does about what kids should (rather, SHOULDN'T) be subjected to for air travel. I understand where the TSA is coming from, so I'm not into the politics of it all - I just accept the reality of the situation by adaption my own reality as needed. Last Fall, my inlaws' very small airport brought in the scanners. My home airport (an airline hub) had the scanners at some checkpoints but not all. We always chose checkpoints that didn't use the scanners (at that time we weren't worried about the kids being frisked). We did cancel an important and annual trip to my inlaws' because their airport (with it's one checkpoint into our airline of choice) wasn't acceptable us. We knew TSA's rules would be relaxed under pressure, and we decided to wait it out. It hasn't taken long. My kids missed -for the first time- a very important religious holiday with my inlaws, and the one time a year their family from the old country comes to the States to visit. My kids live for these trips, and they were very disappointed to have to skip it last year. We still take each trip on a case-by-case basis, and we seek out up-to-date information on which airports are doing what. Since December my kids have been on 9 trips that I can remember offhand, and all went off without a hitch. I bring up to 5 kids who range in age from 6 to 14, and even the older two (who are several inches taller than me and in no way look like they're under 12) are always treated well and allowed to accompany the younger kids (and me) through the metal detector line (WITH shoes on.) We've been to big airports, and small ... and through several cities, both national and international. Good luck researching and finalizing your travel plans!

My husband is a European immigrant. His grandfather went to South America for extended work trips (2-4 years at a time) several times over the course of two decades. I just knew there was a SA branch of the family ;) I found some information on the internet, but not much. Enough, though. Their last name is uncommon enough that I located 23 people with that last name living in the region Grandfather frequented. I wrote them all. I heard back from 15 (half of whom were related!) and got more leads. Then a dead-end and five months of nothing. Either he didn't have a SA family or they didn't wish to be found. But my MIL was convinced, so we pressed on. I hired a private investigator for a few hundred bucks. He found them in less than a week, and gave them my contact information. They called not too long after, and remain friendly and intouch. My MIL and FIL have made trips down there to visit, and everyone considers each other long-lost family. (Grandfather ended up with 4 kids in Europe and 6 in South America). It's very do-able! I sure hope it works out for you! I know that 15 years ago when I worked in the library we had microfiche of every state's telephone books. Do they still even use microfiche? :lol: I bet it's not hard to track down the last name you need in Florence, SC from the comfort of your own home (or library!) I sure hope you're able to track down your family!

Man, I hate when that happens! I'm sorry :( I think it's always hard when you have foods you love ... and then health conditions that make those foods off-limits. We try -in vain- to replace ingredients in favorite foods, but it's almost easier to just try -instead- to replace entire foods. I grew up veg*n, but most of my peers did not. Many are now jumping onto the ETL and similar bandwagons to try their hand at veg*n eating. Foods taste good for a reason; it's the ingredients, not our emotional attachments to their names LOL. I warn them against swapping out ingredients on old favorites, but sometimes that's the baby step they need to make such a drastic dietary leap. Nobody can find fault with that. Still, I try to encourage them to expand their food repertoire to new foods. It's just as scary, but way less of a potential let-down. There's nothing worse than being hungry and having a ruined meal as the only thing to eat. (I try new recipes often, so my family is used to that feeling LOL) Hopefully the next experiment is more successful. I never know which is worse, that the meal was gross or that I wasted my time and money to prepare it!

I'm a lot like you and your son; I don't really KNOW how to do things, but I can take what's in front of me and piece it together quite convincingly. I'll know enough to participate and get by, then once the external motivation is removed (test, homework, debate) I promptly lose all of the information. Notice I am using the present-tense LOL. I'm still guilty of doing this. For someone who "knows so much," I truly know very little. Homeschooling has been interesting because for many subjects I'm learning right alongside my students! Also like you, I did eventually meet my challenge. It was horrifying on so many levels - for one, I had always known I was a bit of a fraud but now everyone else did as well. For two, because things had always come so easily to me I didn't have true learning/studying skills to fall back on. For three, I came to the same realization you did: I won the battle, but lost the war. My professors and the world were convinced I was smart, but really I was just good at navigating the game; I ended up cheating myself. I have a son and two nephews that are so much like me it's frightening. I'm frank with them about what I learned in the long run, including the fact that I'm learning alongside them as we do homeschool and public school homework. I tell them how my experiences and maturation influence how I raise them, including why the must do menial work ;) I remind them that ultimately the choice is theirs to make, but if they end up frauds like me then it won't be because I failed to warn them! Because I (and you) know the personality type we're dealing with on such an intimate level, we have a great advantage in making sure drill doesn't become kill. Our experiences are excellent guides at finding that line. On my watch, these kids do have to do some grunt work - whether it is math, music, or even meaningless work around the house. There is bigger value in repetitive, easy work than the work alone. I wouldn't say you've done him a disservice. He's younger than you and I were when we were clued in. You're finding it relevant now, and are adding drill in - right? Protest is natural. You've changed the game on him! You're requiring he repeat work (your way) that he's satisfactorily mastered or passed (his way). Nobody likes to have to exert that extra effort, and some of us feel insulted that we're expected to LOL. (That's us ignorant of the bigger picture, though, which is why we need our parents!) I didn't study Latin, but I studied English and a Romance language to fluency, plus a second Romance language to the conversational level. I can speak but not explain the rules of grammar/context. I can get by in those countries, but I'm unable to teach either language to my children (or to explain English -their first language- to them). Then I married an Eastern European and tried to learn HIS language. My girlfriend actually attended a summer intensive language session with me to study my husband's language. Her background - native English speaker who minored in a Romance language. She picked up my husband's language so quickly it was disgusting (in an I'm-happy-for-her way). She had learned to dissect a language and truly learn it. When we minored together, my grades were higher than hers consistently. It came easily to me. But she didn't just learn the language, she learned HOW to learn the language. A language. Her flashcards and chants and drills helped beyond learning the language we studied. My floating through the class did well to earn me teacher's approval and high marks, but ... little else. She's still a part of my life, so my kids have the benefit of seeing firsthand how each of our methods worked out for us. She's fluent in my husband's language, but I'm nowhere near it -even with the extra help and exposure from my husband and inlaws (which she doesn't have!) Is there someone in your life who can serve as an example?

Me? Tennis and art. We spend hours at the park drawing or in the yard painting. My brother takes our kids camping, bike riding, walking, geo-caching, frisbee-golf, and (indoor) rock climbing. My husband takes the kids to the range, both archery and gun. We have a large family and big lot, so impromptu soccer or basketball games aren't too uncommon. My grandfather always sat outside in the evenings, with his cigar and paper. Once he was done smoking, that was our cue that it was "acceptable" to come out and join him. We spent much time on the patio just shooting the breeze with him - drinking, snacking, debating, and whatever random phase we were in (bird-watching, kite-flying, knitting, drawing) he'd sit near us and keep us company. He was unintentionally hilarious, typical old-man stuff. He's gone now, but I still make a point to sit on the patio several times each week. Each night brings a different kid and a different dynamic, but it's just together time without any forced agenda. It's really nice. When the weather isn't cooperative we sit in the garage with the doors open. One of our stalls is a picnic area (table and chairs) since the weather is awful where we're living now. Other suggestions: photography. gardening. ping-pong. musical instrument. quilting. learning a new language.

Who defines "more important" ...? "More pressing" is one thing, but "more important" is much more subjective. And maybe you're selling yourself short on some occasions by prioritizing someone else's wants ahead of your own needs/wants. As another poster said, it's hard to see our kids go without (whether they need it or not); we're wired to want to provide for them (whether they need it or not). Motherhood and martyrdom both start with the letter M but that's where the similarities should end. Sometimes we dig our own ruts, not intending to but by virtue of being moms who care. Maybe too much so. In that regard, and in support of an earlier post, kids internalize what they see. When they see mom putting herself last, that's what we inadvertently train them to do - put us last. I give credit to the majority of moms and kids who I suspect do this subconsciously, with no intended ill-will or malintent. It's not something they do outright, it's just "how things are" and how things have "always been" -- sometimes kids will justify it to themselves, and again perhaps doing so with no purposeful thought towards selfishness. E.g., instead of thinking "I've had my hair cut three times since Mom last went for one herself" it becomes "Mom doesn't mind her hair that way; she'll get it cut when it bothers her or when she feels like it." And you're Mom, so why wouldn't you pull rank when you wanted or needed to - you know? (In their minds.) You can't look to them to give you a hand out of this rut. They don't see you in a rut, they see you making a choice to put yourself last. They don't see themselves ignoring you, they see "Mom" and just "how she is" - it's much bigger than your relationship, you're up against an entire dynamic that's been established over the course of (their) lifetimes. "Mom won't mind waiting to get her hair cut." "Mom doesn't need new shoes, where does she go anyway?" "Mom can wear holey jeans, who does she have to impress?" "Mom says no, but always changes her mind. I know she'll do x for me. If I ask enough." These are things you've indirectly communicated to them as truths or acceptable behaviors. It's going to be challenging to get them to change. It's a challenge that you're worth - and they are worth, too. A new assertive mom is going to take some getting used to. Adding someone else's needs into the rotation is going to require an adjustment, more painful to some than to others! But once it becomes the new normal, your kids will likely respect that you asserted yourself (even in the same breath as admitting they may have preferred things the "old" way LOL). If nothing else, consider it an important and necessary lesson for them to learn before they enter their own marriages. This is the time to learn how to discern between wants/needs and placing both within the greater context (e.g., a marriage or a family). This is a good place to begin asserting your needs. There's only so much one person (much less one person with chronic pain) can do ... much less desire to do. Decide your limits. Let them know your limits, preferably in advance so it's not an on-the-spot problem. "From now on I'm only available to chauffeur to one activity per child" and mourn the loss of what you think they should be doing (multiple activities) but accept that those activities aren't worth the trade-off of your self-neglect (whether it's money, time, or energy). Just an example, I don't know what you're issues truly are. Realize -and learn to ACCEPT- that empathy and understanding are gravy. If you get them, great. Yum. But they're extras, and detract from the real goal. You don't need empathy and understanding, you need to prioritize yourself within the family. Sometimes your needs will come first; sometimes your needs can wait. Guess what, the same is true of them. All of it. Tell them so. All of it. It's not going to show up on your doorstep or under your pillow. You have to advocate for it.

I work outside of the home, and three months of the year I spend on-call in another state. My substitute teacher is willing to offer homework-level help but has zero desire to do full-on teaching. That leaves us in a situation similar to what you're describing. And also like you, we're easy on the grammar stuff and not so much into workbooks. I use Easy Grammar for these months. It's pretty much done independently, isn't overwhelming to the child, and has been a great and gentle transition for us from no grammar to light grammar. It reminds me of a daily warm-up kind of exercise from public schools, which isn't at all intimidating for my sub or my kids. For language arts type skills, during these months we focus on re-inforcement moreso than new skill development. That's what you're also aiming for, right? I find that they learn a lot of reading comprehension and spelling by doing random workbooks ... my daughter enjoys science, so she does those (and learns bits of science along the way); my son enjoys geography, so he chooses social studies workbooks (and learns a bit of SS along the way, too). Just Spectrum or other state-testing-type workbooks, like from B&N bookstore. Mad Libs, too. I sometimes give them projects. Mobiles, create an online newsletter to send to family, etc. Usually one project for every week or two. This is sort of like your writing a story for fun, and it will continue your preference for informal opportunities to practice spelling and dictation. When you're sitting on the couch snuggling or nursing baby, you can dictate to them a grocery list or to-do list. With my littlest one we did a to-call list so she'd learn how to spell the names of our relatives :D. My kids enjoy science, so I found a few easy experiment books and I turn them loose. They have a cupboard full of basic supplies (I flipped through the book ahead of time and got everything set up so it could be completely mom-hands-off once I handed the book over.) And only a few supplies were things not already found around the house. I also have Artistic Pursuits. I do the K-3 book and have my 5th grader do it with my younger student. I have the 4-6 book for him to do independently, too. As with science, I prepared all lessons ahead of time and put relevant supplies into numbered plastic bags/containers so it's as easy as them pulling out the bag whose number corresponds to the lesson number. It's been good for using the dictionary (unfamiliar terms) and even the encyclopedia (unfamiliar people). For vocab, last year I bought one of those page-a-day calendars on clearance. Each day we'd try to use the word three times. And when we caught someone else using the word of the day, we acted ridiculous and cheered and whatnot just to recognize it was used. First person to correctly use the word three times was "the word nerd" for the day. This involved an end-zone type dance and something little like a Hershey's kiss. That's our idea of vocabulary. It was fun, the older kids would try really hard to use the word and were incredibly inventive and creative with their conversation! This year we've not been as good about it, but when we remember we usually just do the flip-open-the-book technique of picking random word. All the kids do it, not just the ones I'm homeschooling :) For dictionary/research skills, I had my kids write down ten random words. Always on a theme: animals, adjectives, sports, jobs of people they know ... that was their list to work from. Sometimes to keep things fun (for me) I'd have them work from each other's list. Kept 'em more honest LOL. First, alphabetize the list; second, look up the words in the dictionary or encyclopedia - whichever appropriate; third, we varied between writing two sentences about each (one fact, one opinion or one declarative, one exclamatory or question) OR picking 3-5 words to use in a story. And I like my stories to be accompanied by pictures, just because LOL. Hopefully some of those ideas will work. If not, I'd think something like the vocab card game (is it roots rummy or something?) would help. Maybe even that program (someone will help me out here) that's English vocab/roots and has 2-3 volumes and is spiral bound ... maybe roots from the ground up, or something like that? They can make flashcards and quiz each other, make a game of it. Bananagrams, Scrabble, Boggle ... I think since it's language arts, you have many options for creative scheduling. Congratulations on your baby!

Ok, I admit it - I tried. It made me laugh so hard my eyes teared up. Then the kids wanted to know what I was saying, so now they're running around shouting it as well. Thankyouverymuch, Cat! :D