mazakaal Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 We're looking to move. Keep in mind this is to rent, not buy, so it's not like we're sinking ourselves into this situation forever. But I need help thinking this through. We have 4dc - 12yo ds, 10yo ds, 6yo dd, and 5yo ds. The house has four bedrooms - a nice big master with bathroom and 3 closets (that's amazing for over here), and 3 smaller rooms. One is about 8x9'. Another is about 8x9' with a small bathroom attached. The third is about 10x10' with a closet. I can't decide how to split the kids up. I thought about putting all the boys in the master and dh and I taking two of the smaller bedrooms - one as a bedroom and the other as a dressing room/office/etc. Dh wants us to have the master. The tough part is that dh doesn't want to put the two youngest together because they're boy & girl. He wants to put the two oldest together, but then it doesn't seem fair for them to have to share and the littles to have their own rooms, especially when they'd have to share a 10x10' room. I thought of putting the 10yo & 5yo boys together, but there's quite an age difference there and it would be tough on the 10yo. Right now all three boys share a big bedroom and the bigs are always being annoyed by the 5yo coming in when they have friends over, etc. What would you do? Would you just skip the house and wait for something else to come up? There's not a lot to choose from. We've seen about 10 houses so far and this is by far the best. It's a beautiful house in a cute little village. Love the location, though it is in a development that is packed full of houses. It'd be nice to have a little more space between houses, but it's not that bad really. Nice little backyard, big garage for storing bikes, etc. The room I'd use for school is a bit small, but doable. It's a fairly new house so everything is in good working order, not run down at all. And it's in our price range. I'd hate to pass up this house since it's by far the best suited to us of all the ones we've seen - and we've been looking for about 2 1/2 months. What would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I'd put the littles together in the 10x10 room and let the older kids have their own space. I currently have a 9yo DD and 7yoDS sharing and their fine. The difference in gender hasn't been an issue in any way. My daughter is beginning to develop some modesty but she deals with it by changing in the walk-in closet or when her brother isn't in the room. If she wanted, she could easily take her clothing to the bathroom to change as well. We are working on giving my daughter her own room but only because we need to shift beds to make room for a new baby. I expect there to be an adjustment getting use to sleeping alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokotg Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Have you talked to the older boys to see if they mind sharing a smallish room? If they're used to sharing a room with their little brother, they may just be thrilled to have him in a separate room and have their own space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I think the two older boys together is fine - they may simply be glad that their youngest brother is not in the room anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxMama Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 My youngers( boy-6 & girl-3) share a room and it isn't a problem. They will continue to share until my olders move out which shouldn't happen for another 3-4 years. My older children shared a room until age 9 dd/10 ds and it was never a problem. I don't think having them share as teens would've worked out obviously but when they were younger they prefered it. Whenever we moved with the older kids they prefered to sleep in one room together and have the other bedroom as a playroom. If it were me. I'd have the olders share a room, have the youngers share a room and use the 4th bedroom as either school room/computer room/playroom/whatever works for the family at the moment room. I think the parents should have the master room! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 By any chance does the house have a basement that you can use for bedrooms? If not, I'd give the dd a room of her own and the oldest his own room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 My dh insisted on the big room for our room for 4 years. I hated that. The big room was totally wasted on us. We only went in that room at night, got into bed and turned out the lights. What a waste of big space! Finally, after toys kept getting into the livingroom (because there wasn't room in the kids room for everything) he agreed to let the kids have the big room to fit all their stuff. And I finally got a cute little room that fits our bed and dresser and nothing else. What a joy. The kids have the space they need. I have a cute room. But that doesn't help your situation. Sorry. Maybe double check about why DH wants the big room. Will he really use the space? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I would consider who would share five years from now, not who would share now. For now, the younger two could share a room...no big deal. However, in five years things change, eh? So, make your plans considering the kids as teenagers. Would the rooms be big enough? At that point your dd will have her own bedroom, and two of the boys will have to share. Can that work? I wouldn't give up the master bedroom for any child. LOL. Call me selfish, but if nothing else, I deserve a bedroom with a bathroom of my own just for giving birth to six children. :lol: Our house has five bedrooms now, but when we bought it there were only four. Our master bedroom was 1/3 of the entire upstairs....heck, I want my own bedroom w/ bath, but I don't need a suite, for goodness sake! We divided our room into a good-sized master (12 x 10) w/ a walk-in closet and the bathroom, extended the hallway and put in a new 10 x 10 bedroom across the hall from us; it also has a walk-in closet. Our current rooming arrangement: Bedroom 1: dd, 19; Bedroom 2: ds 13 and ds 11 (he'll be 12 next week); Bedroom 3: ds 14 (smallest bedroom); Bedroom 4: ds 16 and ds 19; Master Bedroom: dh and me. The twins are away at college, so dd's room is empty and ds 16 has his own room unless the twinnies come home. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcjlkplus3 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I would do it the same as your husband. The 2 oldest together in the biggest (non-master) room and the younger two in their own rooms. If the olders are bothered, remind them that it is only for a short time, and they won't have to be as bothered by their little brother as much. I do think that the girl - since she is your only one should have her own room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I'd let the kids choose. Every time I've tried to create what I thought was the "perfect" solution to our bedroom problems, the kids have figured out something else on their own. Right now, I have bunk beds in 12yodd's room, that she is supposed to share with her little sister. Instead, they both sleep in ds's room. They like to be all together in the same room. Dd has all her "stuff" in her room, but she never sleeps there. 3yodd's stuff is in *my* room, but she sleeps in with her older siblings. It works for them. Things will undoubtably change as they get older, but I see no problem with the opposite sex children sleeping in the same room, as long as they have private space for changing clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I feel your pain. Right now we have three total bedrooms and one bath. DH and I are in one room, our 13 yo ds and 3 yo ds share, and our 9 yo b/g twins share. It's not ideal.:glare: And we can't move, because our living quarters are attached to our business. Anyway, I think I would talk to all the kids individually and get their feedback. If the oldest wants his own room, I'd probably have the 10 yo and the 5 yo share. If he'd prefer to be with his 10 yo brother, then I'd go that route. And I agree that the only girl gets dibs on her own room. The other thing to keep in mind is that you can change this around if it isn't working. We've reconfigured our sleeping arrangements several times in the 5 years we've been here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I wouldn't give up a master bedroom/private bath for my kids... no way, no how! I'd put the 12 and 10yo in the same room. Then I'd either have the 6 and 5yo share a room or give them their own rooms... whichever works best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I have friend that have moved the combination of children around through the years. I think you have several good choices not really bad ones. Since we school at the kitchen table I see a lot of possibilities with your space. Don't miss out on it if you really don't think other options are out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 My 10 yr old and 5 yr old share a room with very little problems. I think though that is because friends are not allowed in the bedrooms, the bedroom is the one sanctuary they have, so friends must play int he toyroom or outside. I think having the 3 boys in the master bdrm and your dd in another is a good idea. What specifically is it about that idea that bothers your dh? Just that the room is called the master bedroom? I think it makes more sens to use a smaller room for sleeping for you 2 if you can combine all the boys, after all other than sleeping and marital time how much time do you honestly spend in your bedroom, as opposed to kids who spend lots of time in them. I would give the oldest his own room before giving both littles their own rooms, so the oldest and your dd in their own room the middle 2 share, like I said my 10 yr old and 5 yr old share with very little problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I would keep the master for me and DH - we really enjoyed having the sanctuary of our own bathroom. (Had it for a year - was very nice!) I would then have the two older ds's share the bedroom with the small bathroom - give them some benefit from sharing. Then I'd give the two youngers each their own room. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly IN Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I see nothing wrong with littles sharing a room but what will you do when they get older?? Another idea is if you put the same sexed kids in one room and the oldest can go to bed later then that might work. Do you have an extra room in the house where the oldest can go to stay up for awhile without bothering your couple time? I may be repeating what others said as I haven't read the response yet. Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 *I* would put the two older in one room and the two younger in a room and adults in the master. Another option would be to give the oldest his own room and the girl her own room and put the two younger boys together....but I would do what I said first. As a kid, we had all four girls in a room for a time then later my oldest sis and me in one and the younger two (8 year age difference) in the other and my brother got a room to himself. Really, whatever works. Have you asked the kids? Sometimes they can work it out just fine when we parents just ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Alfred Academy Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 What about giving the older ones their own rooms...the oldest getting the 10x10...and the younger ones getting the one with the smallish room off of it. That way they could still be split up a little bit...or use it as a play room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I, personally would not have boys and girls sharing a room over the age of five. Just me, I guess, but I think a girl should have some privacy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 You guys were all supposed to agree and then it would help decide things for me. Your opinions are all as varied as the voices swirling in my head! ;) I have asked the kids and they all want the option that allows them to have their own room. So they're no help. I don't mind letting kids share rooms, but these rooms are just so small. I think I really just need to go and see the house again. And remember that we can shift them around if whatever we choose isn't working. Thanks, ladies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 (edited) I'd put the 12 & 10 year old together for sure. It doesn't seem ideal to have your 10 & 5 year old share because then the 5 year old will be messing with the 10 year old's stuff. What you do with the youngest two is up in the air. I'd prefer for them to share a room, but understand if your dh doesn't want that it's not an option, so they'd get their own rooms. If the 12 & 10 year old complain that the 5 year old gets his own room, I'd offer to let the 5 year old bunk in their room with them :D. Edited February 23, 2009 by JudoMom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritAnnia Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Ah, the wonderful sizing of bedrooms in English homes. This sounds a lot like my brother's house. Beautiful master suite but the rest of the bedrooms are miniscule! If the two older boys get along with friends of each other, and I'm presuming they do as you only mentioned their complaints about the 5yo... I'd give the two older boys the 10x10 with the closet. The closet allows for more actual room space. Bunkbeds and tall shelves to keep the room as open as possible. I wouldn't be above 'bribing' them into sharing by purchasing furniture or decorations that help with the space issue; would they enjoy helping to choose? dd 8x9 in the room with bathroom, 5yo 8x9 in the room on his own, and you and dh in the master. It's not a perfect solution but as you said, you can always move around later if need be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 It seems that your dh has some things he'd prefer so I'd work with that. I would either: put oldest in his own room, dd in her own room and have other 2 share OR have oldest 2 share as they have been, put dd in her own room and youngest in his own room Whichever ones share would get the largest room. I think I'd give dd the smaller one with the bathroom, and the one that is alone in a room the smallest room with no bath. Those would be my options. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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