JaniceO Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 My 11 year old son needs to expand his interests. He is obsessed with video games and I want him to find another interest/hobby. He has no clue what though and really just lacks the desire. He has no clue at all as to what he may want to do when he gets older. I know, there's plenty of time, but I remember when I was even younger than him telling my parents what I wanted to do (even if it changed every other month). He doesn't even do that. He breezes through everything he does (he's a smart kid and I know he's actually learning) with the hope that it will lead to more video game time. He lacks the ability to be creative and entertain himself. When I told him right after he finished his schoolwork today that he couldn't play video games because it would distract his brothers, he started complaining that he was bored. Is there anything (books, workbooks, etc) that could help my son explore different careers/interests to see what he may be suited for. I know I saw something like this for high school, but do they have anything for the middle school age group? And, before it's suggested, we live overseas, so we can't do any type of job shadowing/workshops/etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplecow7 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 How about lego mindstorm. We are thinking about getting this for my 9 soon to be 10 for his birthday. Mine also like playing with those eletric kits etc. I know some kids like to build model rockets or cars or things like that - mine not so much. There is also kitchen science or maybe cooking or baking. Oh and when mine say they are bored, I start listing all the things they clean - they usually find things to do. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I think video games can suck the life right out of kids, if they are prone to that sort of thing. Nothing else seems half as exciting. What I've found that works is relationship--real friends, real contact with parents and "interested" adults. How's his time with Dad lately? Do they have anything in common, any activities they enjoy? You mention that you are living in a foreign country--is it a place that you can explore? Real life has to compete with pretend life, where everything is under the control of the child, and that's a tall order to fill. It's much more work to live AND play in the Real World (to knock off the Nintendo ad). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine State Sue Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I "force" ds to choose something in the fine arts area. He may choose between art, music, theatre, etc. He took piano for 3-4 years and is now taking guitar. While it doesn't rank with video games, it does give him an opportunity to learn a skill that (perhaps) will be a long-term interest. Ds is a natural athlete, so a physical hobby is no problem. But, that's another area to explore as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ummtafari Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 We only allow our ds to play video games occasionally, so he has several other hobbies which include knitting, reading, and sports. How are the libraries where you live? Any how to videos in English that might spark his interest in something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieF Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I was just going to suggest Lego Mindstorms too lol! We bought it for ds 12 and it is great! It has instructions plus there are several books you can buy and online forums you can go to for help. You don't need to be creative if you don't want to as you can follow the instructions but it maybe that after he has made a few models he will start to come up with ideas of his own. You use the pc too to make the model move. As we have 3 boys we hope to get yrs of use out of it. I would let him explore new activites such as sport, music or drama rather than worrying about what he will do later. My ds plays an instrument, sport and is a member of the local Sea Cadets where he has learned to sail. Also interacting with a group of highly motivated and dedicated adults (the Sea Cadet leaders) has him returning home high as a kite bubbling over with all the things he is going to achieve in the future! I think that mixing with these sorts of people does more for a young person than any workbook. Stephanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 At the risk of giving you an unpopular/unappreciated bit of advice . . . have you considered giving him a break from video games for awhile? Or at least reducing the amount of time he's allowed to play them? In my experience, it is absolutely amazing how creative kids get when the tv and video games are taken away. My dd is not allowed any "screen time" at all on school days (only on weekends). This change, though hard at first, has been a true blessing. She is learning better, more cooperative, happier, and we are more "in sync" with each other. TV and video games are, in my opinion, highly addictive, and have to be moderated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Video game programing. Ds is holding his breath until he's old enough to sign up for the K-12 class. I'm going to try to find other options before then, but things have been kind of hectic around here. Programing combines the love of video games with math, physics, and art, and can be used to create educational games. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 :iagree: And furthermore, I wouldn't allow him to complain about being bored. If he does, you can let him choose things to do from this list: The I’m Bored Things to Do List – by NicoleMT Quiet Outdoor Activities: make art on the front walkway with sidewalk chalk bird watching play in the sandbox build a sandcastle have a marble tournament play jacks paint the sidewalk with water have a neighborhood lemonade sale make a fort and have a snack on in it make a bow and arrow Active Outdoors Stuff: ride bikes roller blade play basketball run through the sprinkler jump rope play soccer play catch, or baseball play outside /fetch with the dog play Frisbee play Cowboys play hide-and-seek or tag play Kick the Can squirt with hoses blow bubbles make relay races inside or out exercise! have a neighborhood bike wash play hopscotch make an obstacle course in your backyard make a hideout or clubhouse go swing jump on the trampoline Nature-Related Fun: use binoculars or magnifying glass use microscope bird watching listen to the birds sing and try to imitate their calls collect sticks and mud and build a bird's nest collect rocks, leaves or feathers chase butterflies, catch butterflies, and then let them go collect caterpillars and bugs collect seeds plant a garden or a pot find bugs and start a collection find an ant colony, spill some food and watch what happens hunt for four-leaf clovers plant a container garden sprout seeds or beans do some stargazing train your animal (dog, cat...) explore nature/ write in your nature journal learn about horses or other animals make a terrarium make a sundial Outdoor Helpfulness: pull weeds pick vegetables from the garden sweep front walkway sweep or spray back patio sweep or spray driveway wash car vacuum car bathe and groom pet feed the birds or squirrels clean inside of car windows wash bicycles clean garage surprise an elderly neighbor/relative & weed their garden Imaginative play (indoors): play restaurant prepare a "restaurant" lunch with menus play store play dress-up play dolls make some paper dolls/ play with paper dolls play big (or little) house hold a tea party or Teddy bear picnic make a tent or teepee out of blankets build a fort in your room make a cardboard box clubhouse or church make a hideout or clubhouse make a matchbox car garage out of old bookshelves or cardboard boxes play with toy cars and make a racing ramp build a pioneer town out of Lincoln Logs and Legos build with blocks or Legos or Knex invent circus acts make tin can 'telephones' plan an imaginary trip to the moon plan an imaginary trip around the world, where would you want to go? Indoor Active: exercise! have an indoor "snowball fight" with paper balls plan a treasure hunt and make a treasure map play flashlight tag give your pet a party!!! Quiet Indoor Play: play board games or a card game play charades read picture books read to a younger sibling listen to a story or book on tape read a book about a missionary and pray for missionaries have a read-a-thon with a friend or sibling make homemade play dough play with play dough do a jigsaw puzzle play jacks have a marble tournament cook/bake something (cake, cookies) make dessert make food sculptures (from pretzels, gumdrops, string licorice, raisins, cream cheese, peanuts, peanut butter, etc.) and then eat it organize your sports cards make up a "Bored List" of things to do arrange photo albums play with money start a collection paint your face, braid hair Veg-time: watch a movie, play computer games read a magazine or a chapter book watch the clouds take a quiet rest time take a shower or bubble bath take a nap outside on your lawn listen to music lay on the grass and listen to God's creation read your Bible; talk with God give Mom a hug call a friend Art/Craft Ideas: With Craft items: press flowers or do crafts w/pressed flowers crochet or knit make doll clothes whittle some wood or bars of soap work with clay create a design box (things destined for trash: pom-poms, thread, yarn, copper wire, string, etc.) string dry noodles or O-shaped cereals into a necklace make food sculptures (from pretzels, gumdrops, string licorice, raisins, cream cheese, peanuts, peanut butter, etc.) and then eat it picture frames from twigs glued to sturdy cardboard make a loom w/ string and cardboard, make a potholder make friendship bracelets for your friends decorate a shoe box to hold your summer treasures make sock puppets make a wind chime w/things discarded items decorate bikes or wagons, and have a neighborhood parade With Paper: color, paint, finger paint finger paint with pudding or shaving cream make bookmarks make Frisbee's of plastic lids, decorate make Christmas presents make homemade wrapping paper or gift cards make snowflakes from paper, and odds and ends paint a picture with lemon juice on white paper and hang it in a sunny window and see what happens in a few days glue noodles into a design on paper design a house on paper make paper airplanes, have races learn origami make a collage using pictures cut from old magazines Indoor Helpfulness: prepare lunch or make dessert empty dishwasher sweep kitchen or bathroom floors clean a bathroom clean bathroom mirrors fold the laundry vacuum living room dust the house vacuum or dust window blinds vacuum under couch cushions/ keep the change! organize a dresser drawer clean under the bed straighten a bedroom Creative Play write a play/ act out a play using old clothes as costumes act out a Bible story make up a story make up a story by drawing pictures draw a cartoon strip make a map of your bedroom, house or neighborhood cut pictures from old magazines and write a story produce a talent show perform a circus put on a puppet show build a fort in the backyard teach yourself to play musical instrument (recorder, harmonica, guitar) create a symphony with bottles, pans & rubber bands play an instrument make up a song perform a family concert *make relay races inside or out design your own game start a club Fun Learning/Pencil & Paper Activities: do extra schoolwork to get ahead do brain teasers (ie: crosswords, word searches, hidden picts, mazes, etc.) do an activity workbook write a sermon write in your nature journal write in your journal write a science-fiction story write stories write newspaper articles for a pretend newspaper copy your favorite book illustration write reviews of movies, plays, tv shows or concerts you like put together a family newsletter find a new pen pal research your family tree plan a special activity for your family search the house for items made in other countries and then learn about those countries from the encyclopedia or online plan and surprise a neighbor with a good deed plan a treasure hunt and make a treasure map plan a neighborhood or family Olympics make up a game for practicing math facts use math manipulatives have a Spelling Bee make up a game for practicing spelling check weather forecast and report to the family check out a science book and try some experiments pick a state or country and learn all about it memorize a poem recite a memorized poem for your family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 My 11 year old son needs to expand his interests. He is obsessed with video games and I want him to find another interest/hobby. He has no clue what though and really just lacks the desire. :iagree: This describes my ds as well. We have limited video game time, he loves to read, and he does play an instrument. That said, reading and video games are his two favorite pass times and he would do about anything to earn more computer time. He has no idea what he wants to be when he grows up and when I recently suggested that we look into some aptitude and interest type information he was all for it. I don't really know where to begin though and I still haven't seen anyone post anything that might help someone find these interests, either current or future. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 :iagree:And furthermore, I wouldn't allow him to complain about being bored. If he does, you can let him choose things to do from this list: The I’m Bored Things to Do List – by NicoleMT clean a bathroom :iagree:but I would shorten the list! Bathrooms or baseboards. If I am Julie and this is the Lido Deck, then the only games I coordinate are bathrooms and baseboards. My middle ds is my only dc who has ever complained to me that he was bored. He ended up cleaning toilets on Christmas Eve. OTOH- What do I know? I like video games. He's 11yo. Let him play. Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 He's old enough to take the MBTI. There are suggested best fit jobs for each type. I explain a little about the MBTI and have a link to take it. The link has a few job ideas for each type (after you take the test and get your type), I have another link somewhere else with some more job suggestions for each type, I'll try to find it and add it later. Once you find his type, you could get some books about each type. It should help you find some interests for him and also help you figure out what motivates him (besides video games!) http://www.thephonicspage.org/Other/personalitytypea.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristineinKS Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 My eldest is the exact same way & has already determined that he will be a game developer when he's older. What I haven't been able to get across to him is how important education is to a game developer & how highly competitive the field is! Playing games alone will not land you a developer's job, LOL. NicoleMT's list is awesome! I would also suggest limiting screen time, that's what we've had to do here & it IS amazing how many things he'll find to do when he can't go on the computer or watch t.v. (though I do often hear "I'm bored!"). Another thing I've tried to do is buy more board games, so that he'd interact with *us* more, rather than the computer...And by board games I don't mean your standard American games like Monopoly, Life, etc. but Euro-style games which tend to be beautifully designed & much more sophisticated (two factors which are critical to keeping him engaged, since he's so used to computer games). Many have educational benefits as well! While he was very resistant at first, he now enjoys playing them with his siblings or with my husband & I. Board Game Geek is an excellent resource for discovering new games, and Italian game designer Bruno Faidutti has a list of many of the best games, handily organized by theme ("animals," "classical antiquity," "pirates," etc.) and even type ("memory," "auction," "deduction," etc.). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 At the risk of giving you an unpopular/unappreciated bit of advice . . . have you considered giving him a break from video games for awhile? Or at least reducing the amount of time he's allowed to play them? In my experience, it is absolutely amazing how creative kids get when the tv and video games are taken away. My dd is not allowed any "screen time" at all on school days (only on weekends). This change, though hard at first, has been a true blessing. She is learning better, more cooperative, happier, and we are more "in sync" with each other. TV and video games are, in my opinion, highly addictive, and have to be moderated. I would agree with this. We have a "no screens on weekdays" rule at our house. If we didn't, I know my kids would be rushing through their school work so that they could play video games. Even on weekends I try to curtail their playing to two half-hour turns. We recently got a Wii fit and I've tried to integrate some of this into our day for supplemental PE, but it's causing more problems than it's worth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbielong Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 :iagree:And furthermore, I wouldn't allow him to complain about being bored. If he does, you can let him choose things to do from this list: .... memorize a poem recite a memorized poem for your family Oh, I love this list - it is MUCH better than the list I have hanging up! "Bored" is an offensive word in our family, too - not allowed. Use of that word results in cleaning (without my involvement;). My boys, too, would prefer nothing more than a life in front of a screen. Some folks have suggested I just give them unlimited access and they will get bored. Nope. That is NOT what happens. Plus, screentime creates conflict in our house. Consistently. LIke a previous post-er, we have now significantly restricted the use of screens. Sunday night, two hours, that's it. For the week. And, we, too have experienced happier, more pleasant, more cooperative children. We've done the same restriction with sugar, too. Same result. Fewer fights. Happier children. Now, meanwhile, educational stuff on the computer is allowed. And I mean educational - not edu-tainment. Video games masquerading as multiplication learning don't count as educational. Our oldest is taking two online classes. He gets his screen "fix" with those. Learning programming through Terrapin would count as educational screentime. Learning how to create video games would be ideal. Good luck - I feel your pain!!! And, as for him not having a clue about what he wants to be, I don't worry about that stuff too much. Online personality tests (adult monitored - you never know...), etc. could get him some screen "fix" AND reveal useful information. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dorothy Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 What about having no TV and no video games, at all. What about letting him be bored until he picks up a book for pleasure, or builds something with blocks, or sketches outdoors, or writes in a journal, or takes a nap, or bakes a cake, or plays tag with his siblings............... What about searching every nook and cranny of the region that you are in? What about learning Italian or helping an elderly person with their gardening or skipping stones on a lake? I am not trying to be flip with you, but I just do not understand these issues. Get rid of the screens. He might fuss a bit but so what? Is spending his every free moment (or wanting to) playing videos good for him? Good for his future? Good for his relationships? How do video games help kids? Why has screen time become a given for kids? I do not see how it helps them in any way. Sorry. I will get off of my soapbox but I really do hope you consider what I am saying. Kids do not need screens. Kids are not better off for spending time with screens. Kids do not get better futures for spending lots of time with screens. Kids are often negatively affected by spending lots of time with screens. Parents can get rid of screens. This seems like a straightforward and easy problem to solve. Again, sorry for the rant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaniceO Posted January 29, 2009 Author Share Posted January 29, 2009 Thank you for all of the advice. Elizabeth, thank you for that website! I will have the time later today to look through it more thoroughly. That's the type of thing I was looking for. Debbie, I too just want some type of interest explorer thing. I really want all of my kids to be passionate about something in their lives (besides video games). As to everything else, trust me, I don't let him sit in front of the computer/tv all the time. I do extremely limit his screen time. I realize that one of my biggest parenting mistakes was introducing my children to video games, but after investing the money, I'm not going to just throw them out. My husband and I both play a computer game after the kids go to bed and it helps us relax. So I can understand the attraction. I don't mind them playing some. It's just become an obsession to my oldest and I am looking for a way to help him explore other interests. My younger 2 boys are both still able to use their imagination and play when they aren't allowed on the video games. Maybe it's just his age. He's starting to be too big to play with toys, but not sure where to go from there. We get out and explore Italy. We travel. He enjoys it, but the questions of when we are going home so he can play do come up. He's in Cub Scouts and has been for 5 years (getting ready to earn his Arrow of Light and crossover to Boy Scouts!), but he's not passionate about it. He does it because DH and I require him to have an outside activity. He plays soccer in the fall and enjoys it some, but at this time we are unable to let him play year round. We are unable to get outside much right now as it is the rainy season. As for when he says he's bored, I give him chores. This child is so willing to please in the hopes of earning screen time, that he does the chores without complaining. I am going to look into a computer programming course as a few have mentioned. I think he would enjoy that, although I'm still not sure it's exactly what I'm looking for. At least he'd be on the computer learning something. Thanks again for all of the advice and help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Don't do the clean bathrooms or baseboards. Help him find some interests and expect some cooperation. My mom thought baseboards were the answer...and....they weren't and aren't:-( Carrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I'm having my 13yo do this: http://www.sonlight.com/career-planning.html He has just started, but I think it is very good. I'll let you know as we get more into it. This week he is doing a Bible STudy. He had to look up Bible verses about how God created him and knows all about him and made him for a special purpose. It also has several tests to see what kind of things they are good at. It is a mixture of spiritual and practical stuff. He did an Alice programming course 1st semester and then I'm having him do this this semester. Perhaps it is what you are looking for. Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshyne Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Are you sure your son and my son aren't related somehow? I was sharing similar sentiments with a friend the other night. DS (10) has been in PS for about a year and a half, and part of the reason I brought him back home was his complete lack of motivation. He was on honor roll, but never even used a brain cell! He, too, loves video games. He loves to read. He has no idea what he wants beyond that. No ambition. The younger boys want to be fighter pilots and scientists. Oldest DS doesn't know and doesn't care. We are a family of gamers. DH and I play, and we have all the systems. That said, we don't allow games daily. The boys have time on Wed. afternoons (sometimes), Friday evenings, and Saturdays. That's all. I don't blame video games for his lack of passion for other things. We're still trying to find something that really sparks an interest, and I was thinking about programming the other day. We've started logic and I know that will pave the way to a different thinking process. Just wanted you to know that you aren't alone! If you find something that really works, let me know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaniceO Posted January 29, 2009 Author Share Posted January 29, 2009 Sunshyne, That's it exactly! We are a family of gamers too, complete with all the systems, but my boys are limited on when they can play. When he's not playing them though, he's talking about them. I don't blame the video games, I just want him to find another interest. My parents didn't have a lot of money for me to be able to explore options when I was a kid. Fortunately, DH and I are a little better off, so our children have opportunities. He just doesn't want to take advantage of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 And, before it's suggested, we live overseas, so we can't do any type of job shadowing/workshops/etc. I notice your signature says that your DH is in the Navy. Are you living on (or very near) base? If so, ask around and see if there are any job shadowing/apprenticeship type opportunities for him there. When we were overseas with the AF there were such opportunities. Now, that was a decade ago and my kids were toddlers so we didn't take advantage of it personally, but DH had several teens under his "command". It might be worth asking around. IF he speaks Italian well enough there may still be some apprenticeship or other volunteer opportunities out there as well. And while I totally agree and support your desire to get him motivated, I also learned with one of my kids that the tween years weren't the right time for it....we butted heads for 3 years about her lack of motivation....when screen time was taken away in the hopes that she'd get creative, instead she took to taking naps! Finally one day she just seemed to snap out of it and started taking interest in the world around her....and to this day I can't tell you what triggered it. So perhaps your son is the same and I'll cross my fingers for you that he snaps out of it soon! By the way...this unmotivated child is now living on her own, self-supporting, buying a first house (at age 20) to renovate and resell, while holding down a full-time job. So there is hope! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 You've got such good advice! If you want to "wean" him from games, you might want to look at the programming language, Scratch. Developed by MIT, it's free -- and kids can cooperate on projects, which might be nice if you are living abroad. http://scratch.mit.edu/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetbaby Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I have 11 year old twins and I limit TV and video game time also. That's a weekend privilege around here and only if chores and other responsibilities have been completed. If boredome is an issue after schoolwork, I usually kick them outdoors. LOL! They also read. I follow the lists of books at Classical Homeschooling and Ambleside Online but I try to pick books that they like such as action and adventure type of books. We also have plenty of board games and logic board games. My children have ideas or what career they would like to explore but I know that will change as they get older so I wouldn't worry about it if your ds has not mentioned anything as yet. Just give him time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 My nephew (10 yo) visited 2 weeks ago. At home, he only plays video games: no other toys. We don't have video games yet (my kids are younger.) The nephew honestly didn't know how to play without the video games. He just sort of followed me around the house talking to me about what he does in his video game. And we have tons of toys that would be appealing to a 10 year old. But he didn't seem to know what to do with them. I support your decision to find other activities for him. At first he'll be bored, (probably for a week or more) but if you remove access to the video games and provide him with other activities, it will force him to branch out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 For those of you with the "no screens on weekdays", does this include television watching? For us it does, absolutely. That's a bigger problem for my dd than video games, so that was the motivation for our change in "policy". At first, I tried just limiting the amount of time she could spent in front of a screen. But that backfired. She spent the entire day asking me if it was her screen time yet. Drove me nuts! And it was obvious that even though the tv was off, it was still on her mind all the time. Once watching tv was simply no longer an option for her (5 days a week, anyway) it was like a weight was lifted! We might make an exception every once in awhile if there's something special that all three of us can watch together, but if so, I make it a surprise that I spring on her. I do NOT use it as "bait" or a "bribe" because I don't want it to lead to her expecting tv as a reward for things she's supposed to do anyway! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Wow, thank you for that list, Ellie! That is great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plimsoll Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 For computer game development (and other digital srts-related software), you may want to look at www.ydacs.com (Youth Digital Arts Cyber Academy). They offer reasonably-priced online courses. My son took two of them and had fun making his own platform video games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkiMom Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 My 11 yo son is exactly the same as well and I also regret introducing computer games to my him at a young age. As someone else already said, I don't want to throw away all the stuff we have invested in either. And on top of it, we gave some of his hardware and games as gifts, so I don't feel right about taking them away. And, as others have mentioned, I like to play computer games in the evening as well. My son also seems unmotivated, and tends to have a lazy streak. So, we have done what others have already suggested, as well as some other things. - We limit screen time on school days. The DS is put away during the week and the computer is only available during the day for school work (word processor). The Wii is allowed during breaks and free time, but we really only have sport type games and it doesn't get used very often. My son isn't a t.v. watcher at all, but my daughter is, so t.v. is only allowed for 30 min per day or on weekends. Sometimes I allow my son to play computer games in the evenings after supper, but his screen time is tied to his attitude. If his school work has been rushed and sloppy, or if he has work he hasn't finished, or if he didn't complete his chores, or if he is being lazy and argumentative, etc... he doesn't get any computer time. -I've tried to figure out exactly what my son likes about computer games. He enjoys numbers and math, so all the high scores and stats often thrill him. He likes playing Age of Empires, and learning about all the different weapons is very interesting to him. It has actually helped him enjoy his history lessons more. He also likes playing Tetris type games, because he is a spatial thinker and likes the puzzle and logic aspect of those kind of games. I've also come to realize that he is very competetive. So...I've tried to learn from him and tried to incorporate those things into other areas....like...getting him to draw old guns, or research old weapons on the internet...or by incorporating more real life math, like keeping charts on the weather, school day countdowns, etc...as well as spatial games and puzzles, and other games that he can compete in. These interests would not naturally have jumped out at me...but they are there...I just had to really look for them and figure them out, and try to figure out meaningful ways to use them in real life. - We have more than one computer in our home so we have them all connected and set up as a home network. I also like playing Age of Empires, so we often play eachother, either as opposition or on the same team. This way he isn't isolated in his own little pixel world, and it also give us common ground. He gives me tips on how to beat the enemy, etc. It keeps us talking to eachother and he loves the fact that I am interested in what he is interested in. His sister also connects with him on the ds and they play together. - I try to teach him to use the computer as a tool. I read some very thought provoking suggestions written by the Maxwell's (titus2.com). They allowed their sons to use the computer but didn't get them games. Instead they got them a word processor, a spreadsheet, a paint program, graphic design programs, etc. They gave the boys free reign to work with these programs and do things with them. One of their sons went on to have a very successful career in computers. I've tried to do this as well. My son loves to play around with these programs and I've discovered that he has a bent for graphic design. -My son often chides me for "living in the dark ages" and promoting "books, books, books". He has this youthful enthusiasm for all things modern and technological...the pride of youth! :) So, I try to use it wherever I can, substituting technology for games wherever I can slip it in. Yet...I regularly read SWB's chapters in TWTM about using computers, to keep me balanced. I also firmly believe that my ds should have a language based, classical education to build that strong foundation....so I do not use any computer based school curriculum. - I keep my son busy. Physical activity, sports, chores, paying jobs, volunteer work, pets, start a business, and a very full school day, etc. The more free time my son has, the more he wants to play computer games. Keeping him busy expands his horizons and hopefully will expose him to new things that may interest him. -For the last several years I have enrolled my son in a technology summer camp. He learned computer game making and really, really enjoyed it. Last summer he had completed all the game making courses they offered, so he branched out and did an architecture and digital animation course, which he also enjoyed very much. I've also bought him some computer programming curriculum from Motherboardbooks.com and he is working through the books. -I am very careful about what games I let him play, and about his internet access. Some types of games are much more addictive than others (ie. role playing games, multi player-online) and could lead to big problems as he gets older. There are some good books you can read about this. What Every Parent Needs To Know About Video Games by Richard Abanes, and Playstation Nation by Olivia and Kurt Bruner. I personally haven't read these books, but they were recommended by our local hs support group, and our leader put on a very informative seminar based on the info in these books. Sorry this got so long, but I hope some of it will be helpful to you! 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love2read Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Get rid of the video games forever and don't let him on the computer. He will eventually come back to life, but it will take a while. I went through this exact same thing with my second ds when he was a young teen. He is in his mid twenties now and it never changed. He has no motivation, no goals, is socially immature and basically goes from work to his computer to play games. He does hang out with friends, but they are immature too. This went to school for a year and was tested by the school as having an IQ of 130. Everything was easy for him. We took away his games for short (6 month) periods of time and when we saw improvement we imagined he had better control and we would let him back one once a week. Wrong. If I had to do it again they would be gone forever. The TV too. Our other children have not had this problem. Very sad indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 ... and Italian game designer Bruno Faidutti has a list of many of the best games, handily organized by theme ("animals," "classical antiquity," "pirates," etc.) and even type ("memory," "auction," "deduction," etc.). Kristine, I enjoyed browsing Bruno Faidutti's list. Thanks for suggesting it. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susie in CA Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 For those of you with the "no screens on weekdays", does this include television watching? For the OP, I think your son and mine may have been separated at birth! LOL You absolutely described what's going on at my house. I'm watching this thread with interest. Yes! We do not watch TV or play Videogames on weekdays. Sometimes we watch a DVD related to what we are learning. Only sometimes, though. Susie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 SkiMom I just wanted to say I liked your suggestions -- it is a nice middle road of using technology, but not being used by it. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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