I am so sad

[iamonlyone]

Praying. 💓

[LifeLovePassion]

I'm so sorry.

[Harriet Vane]

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

Her funeral is six hours away and Wednesday morning. I am doing an instructor certification internship and the person I am interning under is giving me a hard time about missing Tuesday night. Calling hours are Tuesday but I am ok missing those if necessary.

But I would seriously have to leave around 3 am to get there in time and flights are actually longer since there’s nothing direct.

If you’re a praying person, would you pray that this gets resolved?

I am praying. Your interning supervisor is being really unreasonable. I’m sorry.

[Kassia]

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

Her funeral is six hours away and Wednesday morning. I am doing an instructor certification internship and the person I am interning under is giving me a hard time about missing Tuesday night. 

 

That is really cruel.  I hope it all gets resolved but hate that you have to deal with someone with so little compassion.  😞

[Starr]

It shouldn’t be so difficult. Im so sorry. Praying it comes together so you can easily be there. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

35 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

I am praying. Your interning supervisor is being really unreasonable. I’m sorry.

She didn’t want to teach the class and was kind of drafted with the agreement I would do all of the teaching and she’d just sign the write stuff for the state.

And I missed today because I was trying to get to my cousin’s so had already said I couldn’t be there and now will need to miss Tuesday.  if I am not there she has to teach it.

[sassenach]

45 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

She didn’t want to teach the class and was kind of drafted with the agreement I would do all of the teaching and she’d just sign the write stuff for the state.

And I missed today because I was trying to get to my cousin’s so had already said I couldn’t be there and now will need to miss Tuesday.  if I am not there she has to teach it.

Boo. Hoo. Don't you dare put yourself in the position of driving all night just so this lady doesn't have to teach one class. You deserve to not be exhausted going into the funeral. Your supervisor can eat dirt, as far as I'm concerned

[Harriet Vane]

3 hours ago, sassenach said:

Boo. Hoo. Don't you dare put yourself in the position of driving all night just so this lady doesn't have to teach one class. You deserve to not be exhausted going into the funeral. Your supervisor can eat dirt, as far as I'm concerned

This. Funerals happen, and she needs to understand that.

[Wishes]

I’m so sorry. She sounds like an amazing woman

[Melissa in Australia]

Huge hugs 

[popmom]

I am so sorry for your loss. It’s just unbelievable when this happens. It’s not supposed to be this way—none of it. Not her death and not your difficulty in being able to properly grieve this loss. I am praying for you and your family.

Edited October 1, 2023 by popmom

[Harriet Vane]

13 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

She didn’t want to teach the class and was kind of drafted with the agreement I would do all of the teaching and she’d just sign the write stuff for the state.

And I missed today because I was trying to get to my cousin’s so had already said I couldn’t be there and now will need to miss Tuesday.  if I am not there she has to teach it.

The thing is, it’s a matter of proportion. When someone dies, others have to step up to help. That’s how life is. Her expectation that you teach no matter what is ridiculous—when there is bereavement, the class either gets cancelled or she teaches. It’s not like you’re canceling to go see a movie. The bereavement takes precedence—her refusal to deal with the norms of bereavement is petty and her perception of the hardship for her is out of proportion especially in light of the hardship you face right now.

[Kassia]

7 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

The thing is, it’s a matter of proportion. When someone dies, others have to step up to help. That’s how life is. Her expectation that you teach no matter what is ridiculous—when there is bereavement, the class either gets cancelled or she teaches. It’s not like you’re canceling to go see a movie. The bereavement takes precedence—her refusal to deal with the norms of bereavement is petty and her perception of the hardship for her is out of proportion especially in light of the hardship you face right now.

exactly.  A friend of mine just lost her MIL suddenly last week.  My friend was supposed to travel for her job and she told her boss about the death and her boss immediately said the trip was off.  My friend didn't even have to ask or mention it.  

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

I think the issue is that she knows my family(my aunt, the mother of the deceased, used to babysit her for god’s sake) and saw on FB that there will be a memorial service in our state where my cousin grew up at a later date. It’s significantly closer distance wise and will probably be on a weekend in the spring.

So she thinks it would be more reasonable for me to wait and stay here and teach Tuesday night. But frankly, I know it sounds dumb, but I really want to be there for the actual funeral and burial. I just do and I don’t feel like I owe explanations for that, but maybe I am being unreasonable.

[Harriet Vane]

44 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I think the issue is that she knows my family(my aunt, the mother of the deceased, used to babysit her for god’s sake) and saw on FB that there will be a memorial service in our state where my cousin grew up at a later date. It’s significantly closer distance wise and will probably be on a weekend in the spring.

So she thinks it would be more reasonable for me to wait and stay here and teach Tuesday night. But frankly, I know it sounds dumb, but I really want to be there for the actual funeral and burial. I just do and I don’t feel like I owe explanations for that, but maybe I am being unreasonable.

It is absolutely 100% NOT her decision which funeral you go to or if you go to both. How dare she. That’s crossing boundaries big time.

[Kassia]

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

 

So she thinks it would be more reasonable for me to wait and stay here and teach Tuesday night. But frankly, I know it sounds dumb, but I really want to be there for the actual funeral and burial. I just do and I don’t feel like I owe explanations for that, but maybe I am being unreasonable.

First of all, it doesn't sound dumb at all to want to be there for the actual funeral and burial.  Not even a little bit.  And you're right that you don't owe any explanation for that.  

And I agree with @Harriet Vane  how dare she!  This is not her decision and she certainly shouldn't be telling you what she thinks is best for you to do in this situation.  I hate that you have to deal with this while you're grieving.  

[mommyoffive]

2 hours ago, Kassia said:

First of all, it doesn't sound dumb at all to want to be there for the actual funeral and burial.  Not even a little bit.  And you're right that you don't owe any explanation for that.  

And I agree with @Harriet Vane  how dare she!  This is not her decision and she certainly shouldn't be telling you what she thinks is best for you to do in this situation.  I hate that you have to deal with this while you're grieving.  

1000% agree.  I am so upset that you have this stress on top of the grief of losing her.  I am really hoping she comes to her senses and apologizes for doing that.  

I am so sorry.

[Shoeless]

3 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I think the issue is that she knows my family(my aunt, the mother of the deceased, used to babysit her for god’s sake) and saw on FB that there will be a memorial service in our state where my cousin grew up at a later date. It’s significantly closer distance wise and will probably be on a weekend in the spring.

So she thinks it would be more reasonable for me to wait and stay here and teach Tuesday night. But frankly, I know it sounds dumb, but I really want to be there for the actual funeral and burial. I just do and I don’t feel like I owe explanations for that, but maybe I am being unreasonable.

You are not being unreasonable. 

She is being a petty b!tch. 

[kbutton]

4 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I think the issue is that she knows my family(my aunt, the mother of the deceased, used to babysit her for god’s sake) and saw on FB that there will be a memorial service in our state where my cousin grew up at a later date. It’s significantly closer distance wise and will probably be on a weekend in the spring.

So she thinks it would be more reasonable for me to wait and stay here and teach Tuesday night. But frankly, I know it sounds dumb, but I really want to be there for the actual funeral and burial. I just do and I don’t feel like I owe explanations for that, but maybe I am being unreasonable.

I’m forever grateful that I got to attend the actual funeral for a close friend that died and not just a later memorial service (she was young too). This is your choice, not hers.

[sassenach]

5 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I think the issue is that she knows my family(my aunt, the mother of the deceased, used to babysit her for god’s sake) and saw on FB that there will be a memorial service in our state where my cousin grew up at a later date. It’s significantly closer distance wise and will probably be on a weekend in the spring.

So she thinks it would be more reasonable for me to wait and stay here and teach Tuesday night. But frankly, I know it sounds dumb, but I really want to be there for the actual funeral and burial. I just do and I don’t feel like I owe explanations for that, but maybe I am being unreasonable.

Quite frankly, that's none of her business. How utterly disgusting of her to think she has any right to determine how you show up for your family and what your grieving process should look like. Does she have a boss? Is there HR? I'd be done dealing with her at this point.

 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

I have to play nice for some political reasons and she is the only one qualified to precept me unless I’m willing to travel two hours, which I’m not right now.

We are contracted by the county and the person who oversees this will step in if need be.  I am just trying to resolve it amicably before then because I have to work with her until May.

I am deeply grieving right now and just have no desire to handle this.  I already had to pull money together just for travel costs because this is the week two car payments and private school tuition is due so we were a little short.  It just all leaves me with very little emotional margin to deal with even small things.

[footballmom]

I’m so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a very special woman

[Starr]

Of course you want to be at the funeral and burial. Don’t get bullied out of it. Praying for you and this whole mess. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

Latest update is that she is grudgingly teaching tomorrow night but sent me all the files to be printed and sorted and stapled tonight then run 25 minutes tomorrow morning to the classroom and drop them off. Oh and if I would please write a quiz, print it off and leave it as well….

Plus the checks I was counting on to cover the costs of travel did not come in. One was a contracting check for DH and one was my vacation payout from the job I just left. 
I know grief is blowing everything out of proportion, so I am trying not to overreact. 

[LifeLovePassion]

Huge hugs, that is a lot to deal with in the middle of fresh grief. 

[Wishes]

40 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

Latest update is that she is grudgingly teaching tomorrow night but sent me all the files to be printed and sorted and stapled tonight then run 25 minutes tomorrow morning to the classroom and drop them off. Oh and if I would please write a quiz, print it off and leave it as well….

Plus the checks I was counting on to cover the costs of travel did not come in. One was a contracting check for DH and one was my vacation payout from the job I just left. 
I know grief is blowing everything out of proportion, so I am trying not to overreact. 

The fact that she expects so much from you in the middle of your preparations and grief is unforgivable.

[Harriet Vane]

I'm glad she's teaching the class, and I hate that she's being so pissy about it. None of this is fair. 

Warm hugs for you. 

[Janeway]

I am so incredibly sorry!!!

[Shoeless]

She's awful. Absolutely awful. 

[mommyoffive]

27 minutes ago, Shoeless said:

She's awful. Absolutely awful. 

Yep.  I can't even believe there is someone like this out there.  Sick.  I am sorry you are dealing with this. 

 

[Shoeless]

24 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

Yep.  I can't even believe there is someone like this out there.  Sick.  I am sorry you are dealing with this. 

 

The only explanation I can come up with is that she's so overwhelmed by her own life that she's lost sight of the big picture. Who knows? 🤷‍♀️

[Ditto]

This woman desperately needs to travel to OZ to see the Wizard about obtaining a heart.   What a mean heartless horrible person.

I am so very sorry that these other things are just making everything worse for you.  

[Kassia]

10 hours ago, Harriet Vane said:

I'm glad she's teaching the class, and I hate that she's being so pissy about it. None of this is fair. 

Warm hugs for you. 

I think I always agree with everything Harriet Vane says.  Everything she said here plus a hug from me too.  This woman is making a difficult situation so much worse for you and I'm sorry.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

I made it.

My cousin asked me for years to come visit, knowing I would love her seaside little town.  I’ve had time but no money; money but no time. I should have figured something out to come. Honestly, I figured once both of our kids were grown there would be plenty of time to amble through little bookstores and tour historical mansions. And then suddenly there was no more time.

Don’t wait to do things. 
You never know when you’ll run out of time.

Edited October 4, 2023 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again

[Harriet Vane]

Glad you made it. 

[mominco]

(((Hugs)))

[Scarlett]

On 10/1/2023 at 1:32 PM, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I think the issue is that she knows my family(my aunt, the mother of the deceased, used to babysit her for god’s sake) and saw on FB that there will be a memorial service in our state where my cousin grew up at a later date. It’s significantly closer distance wise and will probably be on a weekend in the spring.

So she thinks it would be more reasonable for me to wait and stay here and teach Tuesday night. But frankly, I know it sounds dumb, but I really want to be there for the actual funeral and burial. I just do and I don’t feel like I owe explanations for that, but maybe I am being unreasonable.

Nope you aren’t unreasonable.