Disturbing dreams

[Scarlett]

The kind I can’t repeat to anyone IRL. Ugh.  My boss from about 27 years ago was featured heavily in this dream.  We were holding hands, and I felt that infatuation feeling.  I also knew in the dream that he was married.  So I was feeling guilty etc.  ugh!  
 

Why oh why would I dream such a dream?

[wintermom]

Who knows except your brain made some bizarre connections without your conscious intention. Don't sweat it. I dream I'm flying, a super hero and my feet are stuck in cement so I can't run from an unknown assailant. Maybe I crave excitement in my daily life, that my dream world creates for me. 😉 

[Green Bean]

I often dream people are trying to kill me. Brians are weird.

[Scarlett]

I am not one to put too much stock in dreams…….and I dream A lOT.  And vividly.  I fight people in my dreams, I forgive people in my dreams, I smile and I am kind to people in my dreams.  But I am not usually messing around with another woman’s husband.  Ugh!

I was talking about my old job a day or so ago.  So that is probably what triggered it.  

[Halftime Hope]

Brains are super weird! The other day at work (newish position, I hardly answer phones at all, and the name of the office is very awkward), I answered the phone, and what came out was my first and maiden names!  Holy cow, I never answer the phone that way. What in the world?!?!?!

[marbel]

I have a lot of disturbing dreams. Every now and then my first husband figures in my dreams in a way I'd rather not think about... we have not communicated since around 1983.  I don't think about him, don't care about him, have no tie whatsoever to him (and I thank God for that, truly).  

But other weird stuff, like searching for one of my kids in a big old mansion with complicated hallways and staircases - very gothic. Lots of disturbances. 

I will say that they are more common when I am trying something new to help me sleep. Melatonin, valerian, others have all contributed. But sometimes it has nothing to do with that. 

Yes, brains are super weird. 

[annandatje]

I actually had a similar dream once about a partner I worked closely with.  He was a highly accomplished man whose mind I respected but could not comprehend being attracted to him in a romantic manner.  Since the dream was so odd to me, I did some reading on dream interpretation and analysis. Most important concept I recall is that when you’ve worked closely with someone and produced service or product you can take pride in, this may appear in dream to be a romantic interlude of “reproduction.”  Not sure if I buy that, but it was reassuring to know that others had experienced same thing.

[Rosie_0801]

My dreams are constantly populated by estranged relatives. Get out of my head already!

But not last night. That was tension, tension, tension, which I suppose is inevitable if one reads Soviet history before bed.

[Scarlett]

2 hours ago, annandatje said:

I actually had a similar dream once about a partner I worked closely with.  He was a highly accomplished man whose mind I respected but could not comprehend being attracted to him in a romantic manner.  Since the dream was so odd to me, I did some reading on dream interpretation and analysis. Most important concept I recall is that when you’ve worked closely with someone and produced service or product you can take pride in, this may appear in dream to be a romantic interlude of “reproduction.”  Not sure if I buy that, but it was reassuring to know that others had experienced same thing.

In my case, he definitely was hitting on me for all the years he worked there.  I really looked up to him in a business sense and got along well with him but he was not a faithful husband. I think that is why my dream bugged me so much.  

[Scarlett]

2 hours ago, marbel said:

I have a lot of disturbing dreams. Every now and then my first husband figures in my dreams in a way I'd rather not think about... we have not communicated since around 1983.  I don't think about him, don't care about him, have no tie whatsoever to him (and I thank God for that, truly).  

But other weird stuff, like searching for one of my kids in a big old mansion with complicated hallways and staircases - very gothic. Lots of disturbances. 

I will say that they are more common when I am trying something new to help me sleep. Melatonin, valerian, others have all contributed. But sometimes it has nothing to do with that. 

Yes, brains are super weird. 

I have a lot of dreams about xh.  I have zero desire to still be married to him and the thought of intimacy…🤢 As my best friend and I say about our xh’s ‘not if he was the last man on earth.’ Yet, I can still understand those dreams because we were married for 26 years and we have a child together.  
I agree brains are weird.
 

 

[Scarlett]

2 hours ago, Halftime Hope said:

Brains are super weird! The other day at work (newish position, I hardly answer phones at all, and the name of the office is very awkward), I answered the phone, and what came out was my first and maiden names!  Holy cow, I never answer the phone that way. What in the world?!?!?!

When I was about 18 I worked for an insurance company that was two last names.  It was super hard for me to get it right.  One night my brother called me and in my sleep I answered the phone, ‘Ellis Floyd company, this is Scarlett, how may I help you’.  Just perfect.  My brother was like, ‘Scarlett? Did I call your work? And why are you answering their phones at midnight?’ 😂

[DawnM]

15 hours ago, Green Bean said:

I often dream people are trying to kill me. Brians are weird.

I know you meant brains, but my mind immediately started thinking of all the Brians I know and I have found myself trying to decide if they are weird of not.  

[DawnM]

I hate weird dreams.   They are so irrational but while you are dreaming them, they seem plausible.

[Kidlit]

12 hours ago, Scarlett said:

When I was about 18 I worked for an insurance company that was two last names.  It was super hard for me to get it right.  One night my brother called me and in my sleep I answered the phone, ‘Ellis Floyd company, this is Scarlett, how may I help you’.  Just perfect.  My brother was like, ‘Scarlett? Did I call your work? And why are you answering their phones at midnight?’ 😂

One of the smartest people Ive ever known was a Brian whose name was often spelled Brain (this was way back in high sxhool). I know most people also considered him weird. 🤣

[wintermom]

14 hours ago, Scarlett said:

In my case, he definitely was hitting on me for all the years he worked there.  I really looked up to him in a business sense and got along well with him but he was not a faithful husband. I think that is why my dream bugged me so much.  

Blame it on hormones. Hormones are the source of all evil. 😨

[Kalmia]

I wouldn't put much stock in dreams or feel guilty about anything that happened in one. I think they are part of the way the brain encodes and recalls episodic information (things aren't necessarily stored all together in the right order and in context in the brain). So if you talked about your old work, your brain did a recall to double check on that and since the guy was flirty your brain pulled up some flirty/TeA stuff and blended them together. Annoying of the brain but not guilt worthy. I can often tell what in real life (or on TV) triggered recall parts of my dreams, sometimes the stuff was days before. 

Last night I had a dream that I had planted my large garden in my good friend's guest room including adding loads of compost and watering everything for months. The garlic was just ready to pull as well as the early potatoes, but when I came to harvest, her DH had shoveled out everything and tossed all my perfectly good garlic and potatoes along with the dirt and plants and bugs. I was furious!!! Hateful words were said by dream me. Friendship was ended. It was brain picking up on my anxiety about leaving town for two weeks during peak harvest period in my actual outdoor garden plus me not hearing from friend for a few weeks and wondering if she was coming up to visit soon as she said she might (guest room).

 

Edited July 24, 2023 by Kalmia

[Indigo Blue]

Last night I dreamed that ds was in the market for a new car because of extremely high mileage on his old one. I was there with him to make sure he didn’t get taken advantage of as a first time car buyer. The sales lady was doing a good job at steering him toward something he could not afford (as he is trying to save to build/buy a home). I felt ds was blind to her tactics, but also ds was uncomfortable with my hovering. He was ready to sign himself in over his head when I woke up. I was upset with myself for hovering over my adult son. I was also relieved that he had NOT purchased a car out of his price range. Lol. Weird. And, IRL, he would not so easily be taken advantage of. 

[SquirrellyMama]

On 7/23/2023 at 3:23 PM, Scarlett said:

But I am not usually messing around with another woman’s husband.  Ugh!

I am messing around with everyone in my dreams 🤣 Some people that I wouldn't mind messing around with, and some "WTF is going on in my brain" people.

People either think my dreams are the best thing ever, or think I'm damaged in some way. 

Kelly

[SquirrellyMama]

14 hours ago, DawnM said:

I hate weird dreams.   They are so irrational but while you are dreaming them, they seem plausible.

Yes, irrational dreams seem so plausible at the time. I LOVE weird dreams. I dream so much and it is why I love to sleep. M Sometimes I just stay in bed late to go over my dreams because they are so interesting and weird.

Edited July 25, 2023 by SquirrellyMama

[KidsHappen]

My ex has also showed up a few times in my dreams recently. He was my first love and the first half of our marriage was good. But in the last year or so I have been questioning myself about the reasoning for some of his actions during the marriage (like did he really love me or was he just taking advantage of me the whole time. I was young and there was a large age difference). I feel like my dreams are trying to reassure me that it was a truly loving relationship at one point. 

Previous to these dreams all of my dreams were about trying to escape some maze like situation where I went in circles without ever finding the way out, neighborhoods, mansions, malls, hotels, etc. I had those for years. Back before I had problems with insomnia I didn't remember my dreams at all, basically from childhood until about the age of 40. I used to sleep really deeply and never wake up soon after my REM cycle. Now I sleep lightly and frequently wake up in the middle of a dream so I easily remember it. 

I also have lucid dreams now and I can wake up to go to the bathroom and then go back to bed and continue my dreams where I let off which I frequently do because I want to see how it ends. So yeah, the brain is really weird and sleep behavior can be even weirder. We have people in the family that have night terrors or sleepwalk or talk in their sleep and it can be disconcerting to have to deal with them in that condition. 

[Shoeless]

2 minutes ago, KidsHappen said:

I also have lucid dreams now and I can wake up to go to the bathroom and then go back to bed and continue my dreams where I let off which I frequently do because I want to see how it ends. 

Oooh, I do this too! There is a certain level of half-awake/half-asleep it requires, but I can continue them. I can control them a little bit, like if I am having a nightmare I will realize it and wake myself up. Mostly I just let the dream play out and see where it takes me. 

[DawnM]

9 hours ago, SquirrellyMama said:

Yes, irrational dreams seem so plausible at the time. I LOVE weird dreams. I dream so much and it is why I love to sleep. M Sometimes I just stay in bed late to go over my dreams because they are so interesting and weird.

Do you write them down?

[DawnM]

This may have been a rumor, but didn't Stephen King start out writing books based on his nightmares?

[GailV]

9 hours ago, SquirrellyMama said:

Yes, irrational dreams seem so plausible at the time. I LOVE weird dreams. I dream so much and it is why I love to sleep. M Sometimes I just stay in bed late to go over my dreams because they are so interesting and weird.

 

4 hours ago, KidsHappen said:

 

I also have lucid dreams now and I can wake up to go to the bathroom and then go back to bed and continue my dreams where I let off which I frequently do because I want to see how it ends. So yeah, the brain is really weird and sleep behavior can be even weirder. 

Oooh, I love dreaming and pondering dreams. So fun to find someone else who feels the same! I tend to hang out in that hypnopompic stage going over what was up with what I was dreaming, seeing if there's anything I want to re-write. I also hang out at the other end in the hypnogogic stage, and have been known to "nap" just for the chance to float around in that wonderland.

I'm not so great at lucid dreaming - it doesn't happen often, and when it does I generally can't think of anything interesting to do. For example, one time recently I realized I was lucid in a dream and decided to do a cartwheel (really? that's the most exciting thing I could come up with? not flying or suddenly transporting to another country or planet, but a cartwheel?) and the cartwheel really sucked (as it would in waking life) and it was all so pointless. Maybe I don't lucid dream much so as not to disappoint myself with my lack of imagination.

Huge fan of Andrew Holecek here, and his books on dream yoga. Not to mention Tom Campbell and his theories on dreams being (in general) a single-player game (contrasted with waking life being a multi-player game).

[KidsHappen]

54 minutes ago, DawnM said:

This may have been a rumor, but didn't Stephen King start out writing books based on his nightmares?

Yes, I am what he calls a constant reader and I know ar more about him than I should. He is one of the very few fiction writers that I read.

[SquirrellyMama]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

Do you write them down?

I haven't ever written them down. I can remember dreams so well that I still remember dreams from when I was a child. They are just so real in the moment that I can't forget them. I also daydream a lot. I am always in a dream world it seems, always have been since I was a child. I am definitely an extrovert, but could always entertain myself when no friends were around. 

 

Kelly

[SquirrellyMama]

1 hour ago, GailV said:

and have been known to "nap" just for the chance to float around in that wonderland.

I love the act of falling asleep and floating into dreams. My husband and kids have never understood my love of falling asleep. In fact, not sure I've ever met anyone who has understood it.

Kelly

[GailV]

2 hours ago, SquirrellyMama said:

I love the act of falling asleep and floating into dreams. My husband and kids have never understood my love of falling asleep. In fact, not sure I've ever met anyone who has understood it.

Kelly

There's a "Night Club Community"  that's an online community of people discussing this. It's run by Andrew Holecek. I've not joined nor even looked at it much, but I imagine that's a pretty common theme there.

I also know of people who are trying to learn the skill of daydreaming to the point of dropping the "material reality" data stream and focussing on the daydream data stream (sometimes shared with others). I was surprised by this -- it's something I've always done (well, not the sharing part), and it didn't occur to me that anyone wanted to deliberately learn it. I'm not sure that I could name a dedicated community around this, although I could come up with individuals and point to where they tend to gather.

Oneironauts are people who explore dreams, generally via lucid dreams but also in the liminal stages going into and out of sleep. So that's another term to explore if you ever want to find more people on this wavelength.