I hate this stupid cat

[TexasProud]

UGHH..  Daughter returned today and kitty peed on the bed where her head goes.  The waterproof mattress has been washed so many times because of this I guess it isn't waterproof anymore.  She knew what she did was wrong...  She wanted my daughter to know she was mad.  I hate this cat and cannot wait until she dies. 

[Annie Elle]

Cat pee is so hard to deal with. I had a very loved cat that had this issue. We spent so much money at the vet trying to figure out why she did it. After we ruled out any health issues we tried drugs, special litter, special cat box, frequent cleaning of cat box, pheromones… nothing worked and as she got older it got worse. It was a relief when she passed. Though I loved that cat, I will NEVER have another cat.

[TexasProud]

Just now, Annie Elle said:

Cat pee is so hard to deal with. I had a very loved cat that had this issue. We spent so much money at the vet trying to figure out why she did it. After we ruled out any health issues we tried drugs, special litter, special cat box, frequent cleaning of cat box, pheromones… nothing worked and as she got older it got worse. It was a relief when she passed. Though I loved that cat, I will NEVER have another cat.

Yep. Did all of that as well.  Have been dealing with this for 7 years. 

[Annie Elle]

3 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Yep. Did all of that as well.  Have been dealing with this for 7 years. 

My heart goes out to you. My cat lived for 14 yrs. I got good at cleaning cat urine, well, I guess as good as someone can be. I lived in constant fear that our house smelled like cat pee.

[stephanier.1765]

When my cat started having inappropriate peeing and all the health issues had been ruled out, the vet prescribed an antidepressant for her. Works like a charm! 

[DawnM]

UGH.   I am not a cat person, so I feel you.   My boys on the other hand, every single one of them, want a cat when they move out on their own.   It will def. be an issue if they need to move back and bring a cat.   For one thing, I am terribly allergic.   

[TexasProud]

21 minutes ago, stephanier.1765 said:

When my cat started having inappropriate peeing and all the health issues had been ruled out, the vet prescribed an antidepressant for her. Works like a charm! 

I think that is one of the things we tried. 

[Clarita]

Prozac. I dunno it's the only thing that kinda worked for us. 

It got her to at least pee in the similar spot instead of in all different places. Also reduced the number of pees to twice a day vs 4+ times a day.

[Clarita]

I will be sad when this cat passes but also a touch relieved. 

[Scarlett]

There is zero chance I would tolerate that. So sorry you feel like you have to.  When my dog needed help to hold her bottom up to pee we knew it was time to let her go.  Similarly an old cat that is declawed and pees everywhere she should not…,,.time to let her go.  

[Tenaj]

6 hours ago, Scarlett said:

There is zero chance I would tolerate that. So sorry you feel like you have to.  When my dog needed help to hold her bottom up to pee we knew it was time to let her go.  Similarly an old cat that is declawed and pees everywhere she should not…,,.time to let her go.  

I agree.  You should not have to deal with the destruction of your home and belongings because of an older pet.  

[Innisfree]

How old is the cat— is she seven, or older but started this behavior seven years ago? Does she have any other known health issues?

 I would be talking to the vet, and considering multiple options. Is she your dd’s cat? Is anyone in the house fond of her, and interacting with her in a positive way on a daily basis?

Personally, I’d be acting out in some way if I were shut in a room and isolated. I do understand why you can’t let her have free rein in the house, but the situation might be as miserable for her as it is for you.

From experience, I know that even seemingly intractable litter box issues can change if a cat’s living situation changes. My brother adopted our father’s elderly cat after our father died. He was brave to do so, because the cat had a long history of urinating outside the litter box. In his new home, he was confined to a small room for an introductory period, then had access to the whole house. He used the litter box perfectly, and has continued to for years. I have no clue what changed his behavior, but something did.

If no one who lives in your home year round loves and cares for the cat, I’d look into alternative situations for her while also getting a full veterinary work up. Maybe there’s a rescue group that could take her. Maybe one of your kids who has their own place loves her. Quite apart from her behavior problems, she deserves a chance to be where someone will love her and interact with her.

But maybe your vet, or a different vet if yours is stumped, can offer guidance which will change her behavior and thus how you feel about her. Something does need to change. Maybe this could be a project for the time when your dh is in Africa.

[Innisfree]

Maybe something here would help.

https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/cat-care/common-cat-behavior-issues/litter-box-problems

[TexasProud]

2 hours ago, Innisfree said:

Maybe something here would help.

https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/cat-care/common-cat-behavior-issues/litter-box-problems

Yes, done all of that.  I saw that article many years ago or something like it. 

[Shelydon]

Can she move outside?

[TexasProud]

2 hours ago, Innisfree said:

How old is the cat— is she seven, or older but started this behavior seven years ago? Does she have any other known health issues?

 I would be talking to the vet, and considering multiple options. Is she your dd’s cat? Is anyone in the house fond of her, and interacting with her in a positive way on a daily basis?

Personally, I’d be acting out in some way if I were shut in a room and isolated. I do understand why you can’t let her have free rein in the house, but the situation might be as miserable for her as it is for you.

From experience, I know that even seemingly intractable litter box issues can change if a cat’s living situation changes. My brother adopted our father’s elderly cat after our father died. He was brave to do so, because the cat had a long history of urinating outside the litter box. In his new home, he was confined to a small room for an introductory period, then had access to the whole house. He used the litter box perfectly, and has continued to for years. I have no clue what changed his behavior, but something did.

If no one who lives in your home year round loves and cares for the cat, I’d look into alternative situations for her while also getting a full veterinary work up. Maybe there’s a rescue group that could take her. Maybe one of your kids who has their own place loves her. Quite apart from her behavior problems, she deserves a chance to be where someone will love her and interact with her.

But maybe your vet, or a different vet if yours is stumped, can offer guidance which will change her behavior and thus how you feel about her. Something does need to change. Maybe this could be a project for the time when your dh is in Africa.

She has a full vet workup every single year.  She is 16 years old.  This has been going on for 7-10 years.  Every morning, ( when daughter isn't here and many times even when she is), I let her out and she cuddles with me during my quiet time.  Then I let her out and put her in the back area if my husband or I am working back there.  If we leave, then yes, we put her back in that room.  When we watch tv, we bring her into the room. She climbs in my lap and cuddles with me.  No kid wants her, even my daughter to be honest.  My oldest son has his own cat and he brings him here, so that makes it complicated .  As far as being outside, we used to put her outside for a long time each day and then she slept in the garage.  That worked well until the stray that adopted us.  They hate each other.  Middle one shares an apartment.  He hates the cat.  Oldest is still in an on campus apartment that doesn't allow pets.  When she graduates in May, we will see, but we would have to travel with that cat all the way to Indiana. 

 

[frankincense]

nm

Edited February 26 by frankincense

[heartlikealion]

This video names 4 reasons 

One possible reason is the cat doesn’t like the litter box.
They claim cats don’t do it out of spite (mad at your daughter). I don’t know. 

Is the cat spayed/neutered? I think mostly the males do the territory spraying thing. 

I didn’t watch the full video but I have heard before that cats do not like hooded litter boxes. It’s cramped and smelly. Not sure if that’s applicable. And litter boxes should be changed out (like buy a new one) every year? 

Edited July 3, 2023 by heartlikealion

[heartlikealion]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

She has a full vet workup every single year.  She is 16 years old.  This has been going on for 7-10 years.  Every morning, ( when daughter isn't here and many times even when she is), I let her out and she cuddles with me during my quiet time.  Then I let her out and put her in the back area if my husband or I am working back there.  If we leave, then yes, we put her back in that room.  When we watch tv, we bring her into the room. She climbs in my lap and cuddles with me.  No kid wants her, even my daughter to be honest.  My oldest son has his own cat and he brings him here, so that makes it complicated .  As far as being outside, we used to put her outside for a long time each day and then she slept in the garage.  That worked well until the stray that adopted us.  They hate each other.  Middle one shares an apartment.  He hates the cat.  Oldest is still in an on campus apartment that doesn't allow pets.  When she graduates in May, we will see, but we would have to travel with that cat all the way to Indiana. 

 

This screams stress to me. The cat isn’t free to roam? Moved in and out of rooms all the time. Then deals with other cats (son’s cat, stray). Reduce this cat’s stress. 

[TexasProud]

6 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

This screams stress to me. The cat isn’t free to roam? Moved in and out of rooms all the time. Then deals with other cats (son’s cat, stray). Reduce this cat’s stress. 

How would you suggest I do that?  Before the other two cats entered the picture, she peed on the recliners and couches in the living room and the playroom.  That was long before the traveling. She has ruined upteen suitcases.  We tried to leave her in more than just the utility room, but she peed on the blankets everywhere in my husband's study.  

We have tried the stupid pheromones and all kinds of pills. She travels from to room because she cannot be trusted not to pee unless under supervision.

 

[heartlikealion]

3 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

How would you suggest I do that?  Before the other two cats entered the picture, she peed on the recliners and couches in the living room and the playroom.  That was long before the traveling. She has ruined upteen suitcases.  We tried to leave her in more than just the utility room, but she peed on the blankets everywhere in my husband's study.  

We have tried the stupid pheromones and all kinds of pills. She travels from to room because she cannot be trusted not to pee unless under supervision.

 

When you first got her, she peed outside the box and had freedom to roam around the house? 

it sounds like the other cats aren’t necessarily the factor but probably don’t help the stress. 

What kind of litter box does she have? Would having a new one or additional one help? 

[heartlikealion]

What was the vet’s advice in the very beginning? Was she adopted from another home? 

[TexasProud]

9 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

When you first got her, she peed outside the box and had freedom to roam around the house? 

it sounds like the other cats aren’t necessarily the factor but probably don’t help the stress. 

What kind of litter box does she have? Would having a new one or additional one help? 

 

8 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

What was the vet’s advice in the very beginning? Was she adopted from another home? 

No we had her as a kitten.  She peed inside the litter box. We had no issues.

Now, about the time she was 7-9 years old (16 now).  I cannot remember now.  It was winter and the wood stove drew inside the house because we had the dryer running.  So we opened the window from the top just a little bit to air it out.  The five of us started watching Captain America.  Halfway through we heard the three dogs attacking something.  I guess she jumped on the recliner and out the window without us noticing. The dogs went into pack mentality and broke her collarbone.  She survived (obviously)  But yeah, this started a couple of years after that.

Vet is amazed she has lived so long after that to be honest.  He gave us three choices: Give her to the shelter/basically they would kill her.  Let him euthanize her.  Or  put her outside.  We chose to put her outside.  It was working fine. She peed all over the garage when we put her inside, but that was fine. But the stray that adopted us has caused a big problem. I would like to put her back outside, but we cannot now. 

Edited July 3, 2023 by TexasProud

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

 

No we had her as a kitten.  She peed inside the litter box. We had no issues.

Now, about the time she was 7-9 years old.  I cannot remember now.  It was winter and the wood stove drew inside the house because we had the dryer running.  So we opened the window from the top just a little bit to air it out.  The five of us started watching Captain America.  Halfway through we heard the three dogs attacking something.  I guess she jumped on the recliner and out the window without us noticing. The dogs went into pack mentality and broke her collarbone.  She survived (obviously)  But yeah, this started a couple of years after that.

Vet is amazed she has lived so long after that to be honest.  He gave us three choices: Give her to the shelter/basically they would kill her.  Let him euthanize her.  Or  put her outside.  We chose to put her outside.  It was working fine. She peed all over the garage when we put her inside, but that was fine. But the stray that adopted us has caused a big problem. I would like to put her back outside, but we cannot now. 

Can you get rid of the stray? Using a gate or something? 
Your cat has seniority. I’m thinking this stray is not your problem 

[heartlikealion]

Or get a local rescue to haul off the stray… maybe someone can foster. 

[TexasProud]

Just now, heartlikealion said:

Can you get rid of the stray? Using a gate or something? 
Your cat has seniority. I’m thinking this stray is not your problem 

We could take him to the shelter and he would be killed.  He was literally starving when he got here.  No, cannot put a gate...like where?  We live on 50 acres out in the country.  Our cat doesn't have claws.  This one has very sharp claws, climbs trees, etc.  This whole board was pro keeping the stray.  

[TexasProud]

1 minute ago, heartlikealion said:

Or get a local rescue to haul off the stray… maybe someone can foster. 

No rescues here.  Well we do, but they say don't call about cats at all.  Facebook is full of all the unwanted animals with nowhere to go. 

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

We could take him to the shelter and he would be killed.  He was literally starving when he got here.  No, cannot put a gate...like where?  We live on 50 acres out in the country.  Our cat doesn't have claws.  This one has very sharp claws, climbs trees, etc.  This whole board was pro keeping the stray.  

I was thinking a barrier around the garage or whatever the cat used to safely seek shelter in. A gate they can’t easily climb (chicken wire?) 

no, I didn’t mean a shelter. Another way to relocate 

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

No rescues here.  Well we do, but they say don't call about cats at all.  Facebook is full of all the unwanted animals with nowhere to go. 

Ok so you let your own car suffer and make you miserable or you drive that stray somewhere that will take it. That’s all I can think of now. ugh not good options 

[TexasProud]

Just now, heartlikealion said:

Ok so you let your own car suffer and make you miserable or you drive that stray somewhere that will take it. That’s all I can think of now. ugh not good options 

Well, it still isn't going to solve the problem with us being gone for 4-6 weeks to Africa or a couple of weeks to Honduras or 5 weeks in the RV.  This is the last remaining animal. 

[Gil]

Sorry, I hate my kids stupid Cats too. Fortunately they're predominately outdoor cats.

I wouldn't be able to tolerate cats pissing in my house, let alone my own bedding.

On the plus side, she ought'a be dropping any month now.

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

Well, it still isn't going to solve the problem with us being gone for 4-6 weeks to Africa or a couple of weeks to Honduras or 5 weeks in the RV.  This is the last remaining animal. 

I’m sorry I missed the traveling details. So you need a pet sitter? Is that what you currently do? Or she goes in the RV? 

I don’t know what to do. My soft side says there has got to be a root problem to solve but you weren’t given any advice?? Or much advice?? from the vet. 

if you really want to problem solve then watch Jackson galaxy videos on pet urination. 

If you really want to put the cat down, that may be a family discussion? 

[heartlikealion]

Are the dogs still around? That could be an ongoing stress from the trauma. Even if they are kept apart, their smells, sounds, presence are in the home. 

[heartlikealion]

My bad you said last remaining animal so the dogs aren’t there. 

[TexasProud]

Just now, heartlikealion said:

Are the dogs still around? That could be an ongoing stress from the trauma. Even if they are kept apart, their smells, sounds, presence are in the home. 

 

3 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I’m sorry I missed the traveling details. So you need a pet sitter? Is that what you currently do? Or she goes in the RV? 

I don’t know what to do. My soft side says there has got to be a root problem to solve but you weren’t given any advice?? Or much advice?? from the vet. 

if you really want to problem solve then watch Jackson galaxy videos on pet urination. 

If you really want to put the cat down, that may be a family discussion? 

No, the dogs have gradually died over the years with the last one dying a year ago.  But we could put her outside with that last dog no problem.  Actually any of the dogs as by themselves they were scared of her. Vet said they just got into a pack mentality with all three of them.  But yeah, the last dog was alive by itself for 3 or 4 years and was scared to death of our cat.

When we travel, we have our neighbor girls that live across the street feed the cats.  Oh, I forgot.  She peed in the travel trailer we had in 2011.  We couldn't get the smell out of the cushion she peed on, so she is not allowed in the 5th wheel. Ever. 

[Grace Hopper]

18 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

We could take him to the shelter and he would be killed.  He was literally starving when he got here.  No, cannot put a gate...like where?  We live on 50 acres out in the country.  Our cat doesn't have claws.  This one has very sharp claws, climbs trees, etc.  This whole board was pro keeping the stray.  

Er, not “this whole board.” But maybe 100% of those who responded that were of the opinion to keep the stray. 
 

I would definitely trap the spay and find a no kill shelter option for it. Then go back to keeping your cat in the garage. 

[TexasProud]

Just now, Grace Hopper said:

Er, not “this whole board.” But maybe 100% of those who responded that were of the opinion to keep the stray. 
 

I would definitely trap the spay and find a no kill shelter option for it. Then go back to keeping your cat in the garage. 

There are no "no kill" shelters here.  We investigated that when he "adopted" us last summer.  And now... I love him... He is such a sweet cat...

[Grace Hopper]

4 hours ago, TexasProud said:

There are no "no kill" shelters here.  We investigated that when he "adopted" us last summer.  And now... I love him... He is such a sweet cat...

Seems like you have a lot of time on your hands with your husband traveling right now. Maybe there’s one in the region that you can combine with a fun day trip for yourself. Worth investigating, imo. 

[heartlikealion]

Well the stray sounds more adaptable than your cat so maybe you could rehome the stray. I’d also say you kinda adopted it assuming you began feeding it and interacting with it. I had a stray come to our home and I put out food for it but I knew we couldn’t keep it and if my cat lived in our carport I might have been meaner/less welcoming to the stray and ran it off/not put out food. 

You’ll have to stop feeding it so it stops coming over or you’ll need to find another person to take it. I guess. 

I think it’s kinda unfair to give the stray more priority than the one that’s yours. If my kid was being a butt I’d still need to give them priority over a nice neighborhood kid in regards to living arrangements or such. 

[heartlikealion]

Can you just close the garage? Is there a door? So the cat has a safe space. 

sprinkle pepper or something around a perimeter to deter the stray from coming too close to your property? 

[Scarlett]

I don’t understand the resistance to putting the cat down.  She is 16 years old and for what ever reason she can’t control her peeing. Stop making excuses and just take control of your life.  

[Farrar]

I hate to be cold, but I agree with @Scarlett. I was in this exact situation with our cat. I wish we'd just put him down sooner. Dh was a little sad when he was gone, but honestly, dealing with the cat in his difficult later years totally ruined the love I'd had for him when he was young and cute and in control of his pee.

[marbel]

I can't imagine the cat is living her best life at this point. It sounds as if it would be a kindness to let her go. 

[Scarlett]

My best friend is a huge cat lover she has had at least 2 cats at all times since I have known her.  The current two she has will pee in the house.  They just are not allowed in.  They have a pet door into the garage and she has a bed warmer for them for cold weather, but she absolutely does not allow them in her home because they are broken and won’t use the litter box.  
 

I am a huge animal lover, but I can’t abide by them destroying my home and my peace. 

[J-rap]

I agree, it sounds like you're letting the cat control your life.  I think putting her down at age 16 is okay.

We had a cat that over the years began peeing inside, but only on things important to us!  We eventually gave her to a friend who lives on a farm, and she became a farm cat.  She lived her best years there -- for many more years.  She slept in a barn with the bunnies and grew long, thick hair and could pee anywhere she liked.   

[annandatje]

Texas Proud, I’m sorry you are dealing with this frustrating issue.  

Many rescues transport cats from South to Northeast for ultimate adoption.  For various reasons the South tends to have more homeless cats and dogs than North.  Finding a home for the stray is not hopeless.  Placing either cat as a barn cat in Texas probably is next to impossible; here the barns are overflowing with cats.

If I read correctly, original cat is declawed.  Please do not put kitty outdoors where it would vulnerable to predators and traffic.  Fifty acres will not stop a cat from wandering into traffic;  all it takes is one driver failing to notice kitty or not being able to stop in time.  Could you build a catio for the urinator to live in safely outdoors?

i had a cat with same issue that worsened with age.  We took her in when mother in law died in 1980s.

My husband had just purchased an expensive piece of equipment for his business. She peed on the control thingy.  Also she had recently developed a heart murmur.  I made the tough decision to euthanize her at age 16 to lessen stress on family.  

Your cat is leading a very stressful life to point that euthanasia may be a kindness.

Edited July 4, 2023 by annandatje

[Melissa in Australia]

If the cat is 16 years old then I would have her put down. 

Otherwise build an outside cattery and keep her in there. 

[TexasProud]

Our cat never wanders beyond our yard when put outside.  I have quit doing that though because now when we bring the stray inside and put her outside she sits and howls/meows on the back porch the entire time.  She is in here with me now. I don't know that my daughter would be ok with putting her to sleep. 

[marbel]

32 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Our cat never wanders beyond our yard when put outside.  I have quit doing that though because now when we bring the stray inside and put her outside she sits and howls/meows on the back porch the entire time.  She is in here with me now. I don't know that my daughter would be ok with putting her to sleep. 

I'm sure it would be upsetting to your daughter, but the cat does not live with her. You are the one responsible for the day to day care of the cat, at least most of the time. The vet has not been able to solve the cat's problem. Sure your daughter will be sad for a while; everyone is when their beloved pet has to be let go.