Any roommate restrictions, Muslim?

[Janeway]

If my son's roommate were Jewish, I would know what to do, about a Kosher kitchen. I would not send son any foods that are non-kosher and I would tell my son all about keeping a Kosher space. My son's new roommate is Muslim. What should be do to remain culturally sensitive? Are there any foods he should keep out of their shared space? I know when I have had meals with Muslim friends, everything was free of animal products (including gelatin). Not sure if there is anything else I should I know. And I am not sure if having any sort of animal product in the shared space would be akin to having a non-kosher food on the surfaces in the shared space. Thanks for your help!

[bibiche]

I’d have him ask the roommate. Not everyone is observant.

[Janeway]

6 minutes ago, bibiche said:

I’d have him ask the roommate. Not everyone is observant.

He seems very quiet and I am planning to visit tomorrow night and had hoped to bring food and such. Their room is a suite. They have two bedrooms attached to a main living area. His roommate moved in last week but left before my son got back. Then my son arrived tonight to find he was back but already in bed.

[Rosie_0801]

Take vegetarian food. Can't go wrong there.

[Frances]

Many Jews do not keep kosher, so I would make no assumptions about the roommate. Just have your son ask him directly.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Does the shared living place actually include a kitchen?  (Most dorm suites I know still have the students using the campus cafeteria. ). 

[Melissa in Australia]

No pork. No alcohol.

My oldest house shares with a Muslim. 
he has brought quite a few muslims home for visits when he was at University.  There wasn’t any special kitchen requirements just no pork and one told me that if he was eating at his parents house than the meat had to be from a special butcher , where the animal is killed facing Mecca and prayed over, but that isn’t a requirement when they are at other people’s houses

Edited August 23, 2021 by Melissa in Australia

[Janeway]

9 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Does the shared living place actually include a kitchen?  (Most dorm suites I know still have the students using the campus cafeteria. ). 

They have a kitchenette. I just want to err on the side of caution.

[SoCal_Bear]

FYI. That's called halal meat. The meat shops will have often have halal in the name so you know.

 

[Arcadia]

7 minutes ago, Janeway said:

They have a kitchenette. I just want to err on the side of caution.

Most won’t want to share kitchen utensils. If you want to bring snacks to share, look for the halal logo on the food items.

e.g.

[Melissa in Australia]

16 minutes ago, calbear said:

FYI. That's called halal meat. The meat shops will have often have halal in the name so you know.

 

Thanks I couldn't remember what it was called

[SoCal_Bear]

Just a side comment: My family operated a Chinese restaurant for decades. We have quite a lot of regular Jewish customers who kept kosher except when eating at our restaurant. They wouldn't eat things expressly forbidden, but obviously Chinese kitchens are not kosher.

Edited August 23, 2021 by calbear

[73349]

I'd plan on no pork, no alcohol, no pictures (e.g., laptop wallpaper) of underdressed people, and depending on his level of observance, he might prefer not to be around depictions of any people or animals at all.

Edited August 23, 2021 by Carolina Wren

[Junie]

I'm not sure that I would do anything other than have your son talk to his roommate and they can come to whatever agreement.

I don't think that someone should have to completely change their diet to accommodate someone else's preferences.

If the Muslim roommate has a true desire to have his dorm/kitchen be to his religious dietary standards, then he should ask the college for a like-minded roommate.

I know that this sounds insensitive, but I can't imagine asking my child to become vegetarian or give up whatever because of a roommate's preferences.

And I'm saying this as someone who has severe food allergies and has to have kitchen accommodations in my own home.  If I had had these allergies in college, I would not have expected my roommates to give up the foods that I'm allergic to.  I would have changed my living situation.

I mean, if your son is willing to make changes, that's great.  But I wouldn't expect him to make changes.  I think that's unfair.

[happi duck]

If you're bringing snacks and such you think they'd share I'd be sure to avoid pork/bacon and also gelatin.  (I think gelatin can sometimes be pork so just avoided.). If the products are packaged they'll be able to read the ingredients if they need to.  If you bring homemade stuff I'd print up the recipe and just leave it with the food.

I think it's kind of you to consider this!  By having ingredients easy to determine the roommate can quietly check without asking if they're shy.

For other things hopefully the roommates will work it all out over time!  (along with all the other roommate stuff that happens!)

[bolt.]

With halal foods (in my limited experience) I think it has a lot more to do with what a person actually eats -- not so much with the foods around them. None of my Muslim friends have ever seemed to any take note whatsoever of what other people are eating when eating in groups.

[marbel]

4 hours ago, Junie said:

I'm not sure that I would do anything other than have your son talk to his roommate and they can come to whatever agreement.

I don't think that someone should have to completely change their diet to accommodate someone else's preferences.

If the Muslim roommate has a true desire to have his dorm/kitchen be to his religious dietary standards, then he should ask the college for a like-minded roommate.

I know that this sounds insensitive, but I can't imagine asking my child to become vegetarian or give up whatever because of a roommate's preferences.

And I'm saying this as someone who has severe food allergies and has to have kitchen accommodations in my own home.  If I had had these allergies in college, I would not have expected my roommates to give up the foods that I'm allergic to.  I would have changed my living situation.

I mean, if your son is willing to make changes, that's great.  But I wouldn't expect him to make changes.  I think that's unfair.

I was thinking along the same lines, and also wondering how to say it so it didn't sound insensitive. I think you did it well.

In a roommate situation people have to work around each other. One person does not completely change their own diet to accommodate another's.  I hope the roommate wishes to be as sensitive as your (OP) son is. 

When my vegetarian daughter was living with roommates who ate meat, she did not expect them not to eat it around her. (Just as she doesn't expect our family home to be meat-free.) They respected each other's preferences and requirements and worked around everyone's diet.  In the beginning, one roommate continually asked her if she minded her cooking meat... within a month or so it was all settled out and everyone was comfortable (or at least acted as if they were). People who ate meat ate meat, those who didn't, didn't. Simple.

OP I think it's nice you want to bring food the roommate can eat and it seems you have been given some good ideas.  

Edited August 23, 2021 by marbel

[Teachaheart]

Muslim here: any shared foods should not contain pork or alcohol. Until they have a chance to talk about the roommate’s preferences, it’s best that any shared food be vegetarian. Food that is strictly for your son can be anything he wants. Muslims understand that sharing spaces means respecting others’ rights to make their own choices. 

[ieta_cassiopeia]

If you can't bring outright halal meat, but still want to bring meat, bringing kosher meats (that do not contain alcohol or anything that came from a pig) is the next-best thing: kosher meat is required to follow certain religious principles and many Muslims consider this to be an ethical improvement over meat that is neither halal nor kosher. (The extent of this varies depending on which of the five legal school of Islam the student follows, but as far as I know, none of them consider kosher meat worse than the non-kosher non-halal variety).

Animal gelatin most often comes from pigs, which will be why vegetarian gelatin is used for Muslim meals that involve gelatin.

Jewish kosher requirements for vegetarian dishes that don't contain alcohol are stricter than Islamic halal rules, so bringing the same kosher vegetarian dishes as you would for Jewish people is likely to be appreciated.

I am not aware of any school of Islam that requires a kitchen to not have haraam items (in the same way as a Jewish kitchen has to follow kosher rules at all times), but it is polite to have haraam items stored out of sight when your son is neither preparing food with them nor eating them - especially during Ramadan.

Edited to add: The only other thing I can think of is that technically Muslims are only supposed to use communal items that are regularly used for haraam foods if there's no choice (which is likely to be so during move-in), and then must wash the items before use. Being co-operative in setting up and then doing a workable cleaning rota will help a lot with this (and would be advisable no matter who the roommate was).

Edited August 24, 2021 by ieta_cassiopeia