Separation anxiety in teen

[Shelydon]

3 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Oh this is really good!!! That's a good sign that she's going to pull out. This has been so hard on kids, sigh. 

 

Have you thought about tele therapy? She could do it that way and not even need to leave home. I was going to ask you what the worst thing is that happens. You're right that learning to live with discomfort is part of it. And she could work through the rest with the counselor. Sometimes what happens when we panic is we get in fright/flight and don't problem solve well. So they'll prethink situations together and make plans. 

It's not that you can't help her with a workbook because you can. It's that talking it through with someone else will make her more confident. It needs to get out there, in the open.

I'm reading up on teletherapy options that would work well for adolescents. 

[Shelydon]

5 hours ago, BaseballandHockey said:

Sorry, I missed this when I was pushing meds. 

What are you afraid will happen if you get the surgery? (e.g. are you afraid she'll self harm while you're in the hospital?) What are you afraid will happen if you don't?  (e.g. What will be the medical consequences for you?)  Have you expressed those fears to the psychiatrist?  It might help them see the degree of crisis, and suggest more robust resources whether that's calling a favor to get you to the top of a waiting list, or adding medication, or giving you a more detailed treatment plan.  

If I attempt to drive away in the car she chases me down the street screaming. If I am not able to have surgery this summer I run the risk of having a complete stage four pelvic organ prolapse. It's not an emergency, it would just be better to be able to plan being home for 6-8 weeks. I shared all of this information with a psychiatrist, who is quite good and I do trust, and he is absolutely adamant that she is not a candidate for medication. He's definitely not conservative as far as meds go. 

Local psychiatrists are $300 for the first visit and $150 for each follow-up visit. Very few see teens.  I really cannot afford to doctor hop and hope that someone will prescribe a medication that may or may not work, unfortunately.  Although I definitely want her to get better monetary resources are limited. Her pediatrician is not conservative as far as medications either, and she definitely thinks medication is not warranted in this case. 

 

[Shelydon]

5 hours ago, katilac said:

I interpreted her post more as meaning that adults weren't invited, not that she didn't have the time. 

Some of the invites are friends only and it would be really awkward to have her mom be the only parent hanging out at the friend's house. Some of the invites I can't make because I have three other children. I'm trying to get one ready to leave for college, one is rising senior and we have started applying to colleges and the other is younger and cannot be left home alone, so if his siblings are not available to babysit (which I really hate asking them to do) then he has to come with his older sister's events.  So---  we attend everything that is feasible, a lot of it just isn't.  🤷‍♀️ Nobody wants their little brother coming to hang out with a bunch of teen girls because one of them has to have Mom close by. 

[Shelydon]

Ordered 5 HTP too. Big Amazon day coming with all my orders. 😂Also looking for a meditation type app we can download on her tablet. 

Edited June 21, 2021 by Shelydon

[Melissa Louise]

14 minutes ago, Shelydon said:

If I attempt to drive away in the car she chases me down the street screaming. If I am not able to have surgery this summer I run the risk of having a complete stage four pelvic organ prolapse. It's not an emergency, it would just be better to be able to plan being home for 6-8 weeks. I shared all of this information with a psychiatrist, who is quite good and I do trust, and he is absolutely adamant that she is not a candidate for medication. He's definitely not conservative as far as meds go. 

Local psychiatrists are $300 for the first visit and $150 for each follow-up visit. Very few see teens.  I really cannot afford to doctor hop and hope that someone will prescribe a medication that may or may not work, unfortunately.  Although I definitely want her to get better monetary resources are limited. Her pediatrician is not conservative as far as medications either, and she definitely thinks medication is not warranted in this case. 

 

One of my kids had two major bouts of separation anxiety. It's super hard to deal with. I've had the following and screaming too, though at a slightly younger age. 

You must have your surgery. It's not ok for your major health needs to be put on the back burner. 

Time to plan for who will be dd's support team. She will be distressed; being distressed will be painful for both of you; you will both survive the distress. 

Things you need to think about: 

How long will you be in hospital, away from home?

Who will be in charge of dd's physical safety if she is running after your car?

Who can tolerate dd's distress best ? Can they care for her while you are in hospital? 

What attachment-substitutes can you offer? Items of yours, your perfume, sleeping in your bed, video/audio recording of you? 

With a month to go, you need to begin to introduce the topic, once you have a plan/information. If you can get some therapy beforehand, great. 

It is not helpful for her recovery for major plans like surgery to be derailed.

It risks sending her the message that her anxiety is so overwhelming that even mom's surgery had to get cancelled! It could reinforce the anxiety. 

Good luck. I know it's really hard.

 

[itsheresomewhere]

Start slow on the 5HTP.  Our combo was b-complex, turmeric and a good multi vitamin when DD was on it.  It did help in the beginning for us but she needed medication along with therapy in the end.  We do a very low dose of medication and it works wonders.  
 

Better health is what my niece uses for therapy.  It made it affordable and convenient for her.  She started with them at 18 as she couldn’t afford to go weekly locally and with college, it was difficult to schedule classes. I want to say she pays 160ish a month for weekly therapy along with some allowance of emergency appointments.  Maybe they might take a teen. 

Edited June 21, 2021 by itsheresomewhere

[katilac]

What are the specific reasons for saying she is not a candidate for medication? She is having some very extreme reactions, and they seem confident they have ruled out medical causes. 

I cannot imagine the mental distress a fourteen-year-old would have to be in to run down the street screaming when their mother leaves. That is severe, crippling, uncontrollable anxiety. 

[PeterPan]

2 hours ago, Shelydon said:

I'm reading up on teletherapy options that would work well for adolescents. 

To me the challenge is the funding. 

If you're a christian, you could try the Focus on the Family referral lists. We had some good luck that way, finding a phd licensed counselor who specialized in what we needed.

[Drama Llama]

1 hour ago, Melissa Louise said:

 

You must have your surgery. It's not ok for your major health needs to be put on the back burner. 

I have to agree with this

1 hour ago, Melissa Louise said:

It is not helpful for her recovery for major plans like surgery to be derailed.

It risks sending her the message that her anxiety is so overwhelming that even mom's surgery had to get cancelled! It could reinforce the anxiety. 

and this.

I know how hard this is.  I really do.  I don't want to sound like i am downplaying the difficulties, because I know from experience that they are substantial.  I looked at your prices for psychiatric care therapy and kind of turned green with jealousy, because there's no way I'd find something at rates that low in my community.  So, believe me when I say I understand where you're coming from.  

But what you are describing is a crisis.  You're at the point where her symptoms are so severe that you're considering making a choice that could have long term impact on both your physical health, and her mental health.  

It may be time to make difficult choices, whether that's going back to the pediatrician and saying "I have surgery scheduled, at this point I am concerned my daughter will be so unsafe she'll be killed by a car.  What plan can we make?" , or asking Dad to take off from work while you're in the hospital, or explaining to friends parents that she's ill and you need to be there because she needs the practice.  I get that all of those things are awkward, because I've done variations of them, and I hated it.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.  It's really hard.  Believe me, I know.  I'm sorry if this seems harsh.  

 

[Shelydon]

1 hour ago, BaseballandHockey said:

I have to agree with this

and this.

I know how hard this is.  I really do.  I don't want to sound like i am downplaying the difficulties, because I know from experience that they are substantial.  I looked at your prices for psychiatric care therapy and kind of turned green with jealousy, because there's no way I'd find something at rates that low in my community.  So, believe me when I say I understand where you're coming from.  

But what you are describing is a crisis.  You're at the point where her symptoms are so severe that you're considering making a choice that could have long term impact on both your physical health, and her mental health.  

It may be time to make difficult choices, whether that's going back to the pediatrician and saying "I have surgery scheduled, at this point I am concerned my daughter will be so unsafe she'll be killed by a car.  What plan can we make?" , or asking Dad to take off from work while you're in the hospital, or explaining to friends parents that she's ill and you need to be there because she needs the practice.  I get that all of those things are awkward, because I've done variations of them, and I hated it.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.  It's really hard.  Believe me, I know.  I'm sorry if this seems harsh.  

 

Dad will definitely take off of work while I'm in the hospital. As long as he is not required to be there for some reason, I just have him stay at home. Hopefully it would just be an overnight stay. 

 

 

[Shelydon]

2 hours ago, PeterPan said:

To me the challenge is the funding. 

If you're a christian, you could try the Focus on the Family referral lists. We had some good luck that way, finding a phd licensed counselor who specialized in what we needed.

I'm expecting to spend about $100-$150 per visit. If it's significantly more than that then I'll have to figure something out. 

[Drama Llama]

Just now, Shelydon said:

Dad will definitely take off of work while I'm in the hospital. As long as he is not required to be there for some reason, I just have him stay at home. Hopefully it would just be an overnight stay. 

Will that be enough to keep her safe?  

[Shelydon]

1 hour ago, BaseballandHockey said:

I have to agree with this

and this.

I know how hard this is.  I really do.  I don't want to sound like i am downplaying the difficulties, because I know from experience that they are substantial.  I looked at your prices for psychiatric care therapy and kind of turned green with jealousy, because there's no way I'd find something at rates that low in my community.  So, believe me when I say I understand where you're coming from.  

But what you are describing is a crisis.  You're at the point where her symptoms are so severe that you're considering making a choice that could have long term impact on both your physical health, and her mental health.  

It may be time to make difficult choices, whether that's going back to the pediatrician and saying "I have surgery scheduled, at this point I am concerned my daughter will be so unsafe she'll be killed by a car.  What plan can we make?" , or asking Dad to take off from work while you're in the hospital, or explaining to friends parents that she's ill and you need to be there because she needs the practice.  I get that all of those things are awkward, because I've done variations of them, and I hated it.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.  It's really hard.  Believe me, I know.  I'm sorry if this seems harsh.  

 

Not harsh and I'm sorry things are so expensive in your area! I do live in one of the lowest cost of living areas of the Southwest, so maybe that makes up for the difference in pricing? 

[Drama Llama]

Just now, Shelydon said:

Not harsh and I'm sorry things are so expensive in your area! I do live in one of the lowest cost of living areas of the Southwest, so maybe that makes up for the difference in pricing? 

I live in a super expensive area, and I'm sure that your prices are as out of whack with your cost of living as ours are here.  I was just wanting to say that I really really get it.  Mental health issues suck.  They're horrible.  I hate them.  

But that also it's easy, I think, for them to sneak up on you, and then suddenly things are really bad and you're still accommodating and don't see it.  

[Shelydon]

3 hours ago, katilac said:

What are the specific reasons for saying she is not a candidate for medication? She is having some very extreme reactions, and they seem confident they have ruled out medical causes. 

I cannot imagine the mental distress a fourteen-year-old would have to be in to run down the street screaming when their mother leaves. That is severe, crippling, uncontrollable anxiety. 

The reason is that the anxiety is specific and not general. It only happens in a very limited specific context and therefore can be treated with behavior modification, decentralization and therapy.  She is happy and completely able function as long as I'm around.   The psychiatrist we saw has prescribed medication of various types for many people that I know, so he is not spend time medication at all he just feels like it is not appropriate for her.  DD it's very self-reflective and in tune with her thoughts and feelings so she can articulate exactly what she is thinking and why she was thinking it, she just can't change it. 

We just have a extremely low number of licensed counselors or license psychologists and they have a huge backlog of cases. 

[Shelydon]

7 minutes ago, BaseballandHockey said:

Will that be enough to keep her safe?  

Yes. I tried to talk her into staying with Grandma and Grandpa but no dice. She stays with Dad when necessary, and we've been trying to make sure that every weekend I leave with one of the other kids for a couple hours to get she has an opportunity to be at home without me. This week She really wants to volunteer at VBS, so I'm going to try to sit in a different building from her and we'll see how it goes.    

Edited June 21, 2021 by Shelydon

[PeterPan]

This is a little more out there, but I'm just throwing this out. Trauma (which is essentially what has been happening to people with covid) stores in the body, and there are ways to release it. This will cost nothing and just takes some time. She could try it, see what she thinks. May or may not do any good. There's also a book The Body Bears the Burden that goes into all this. But this video is a quick way to do TRE=trauma/tension release exercises.

 

[Drama Llama]

49 minutes ago, Shelydon said:

Yes. I tried to talk her into staying with Grandma and Grandpa but no dice. She stays with Dad when necessary, and we've been trying to make sure that every weekend I leave with one of the other kids for a couple hours to get she has an opportunity to be at home without me. This week She really wants to volunteer at VBS, so I'm going to try to sit in a different building from her and we'll see how it goes.    

I think VBS is a great plan.  

[Shelydon]

8 hours ago, PeterPan said:

This is a little more out there, but I'm just throwing this out. Trauma (which is essentially what has been happening to people with covid) stores in the body, and there are ways to release it. This will cost nothing and just takes some time. She could try it, see what she thinks. May or may not do any good. There's also a book The Body Bears the Burden that goes into all this. But this video is a quick way to do TRE=trauma/tension release exercises.

 

Worth a try!

[Pen]

Alsoin addition to  consider Inositol (in B vitamin group) for anti anxiety qualities— it takes quite a lot to have an effect 

flower essences might also be worth looking into

does she spend time outside in natural circumstances? Ideally barefooted on non dangerous ground? Maybe in greenery, gardening, etc? That used to help ds a lot when he got anxious 

 

and in addition to cbt 

Asmr?

Eye movement desensitization therapy? 

[Shelydon]

Update -- surgery scheduled for mid- August. Started DD on 5 HTP, spoke to the psychiatrist and he does not see a need for medication.  We'll see how it goes. 

[freesia]

2 minutes ago, Shelydon said:

Update -- surgery scheduled for mid- August. Started DD on 5 HTP, spoke to the psychiatrist and he does not see a need for medication.  We'll see how it goes. 

You may also want to add something like L-theanine. 5-HTP is great for my mild depression but adding L-theanine helps with anxiety. The great thing with L-theanine is you can take more if you need it.  So if I feel panic rising I take an extra.

[Shelydon]

10 minutes ago, freesia said:

You may also want to add something like L-theanine. 5-HTP is great for my mild depression but adding L-theanine helps with anxiety. The great thing with L-theanine is you can take more if you need it.  So if I feel panic rising I take an extra.

Do You have a brand of L-Theanine that you recommend? Would something like this that combines both together along with B vitamins be okay?

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001JD9DMI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_62542YDNMK3EGXK4V6KK

[Pen]

Glycine: Best for acute panic attacks rather than chronic anxiety, glycine is another amino acid.

[Shelydon]

29 minutes ago, Pen said:

Glycine: Best for acute panic attacks rather than chronic anxiety, glycine is another amino acid.

Thanks!

[Shelydon]

Update-- We all made it through my surgery.  A couple of weeks ago, we consulted with the psychiatrist again. We have been trying a SSRI for two weeks with terrible results.  Within a few days she lost her normal bubbly personality, and sank into a serious depression.  We discontinued the meds yesterday.  Really don't know what we will do next.  We had tried therapy, but so far, it has been completely useless. 

[bookbard]

So sorry. Is there a possibility of TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) anywhere near you? It is non invasive and can be very very effective.

Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS): Hope for stubborn depression - Harvard Health

[Shelydon]

6 minutes ago, bookbard said:

So sorry. Is there a possibility of TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) anywhere near you? It is non invasive and can be very very effective.

Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS): Hope for stubborn depression - Harvard Health

I don't know.  I'll look.  Her anxiety is very specific, so not sure if she would qualify.  In theory, therapy is supposed to help, but it doesn't.  She can detail everything she is thinking and why, but can't stop feeling anxious.

[KSera]

3 minutes ago, Shelydon said:

She can detail everything she is thinking and why, but can't stop feeling anxious.

Has anyone tried the approach of not trying to get her to stop feeling anxious? That is often circular and counter productive, even though it is so often the focus, because everyone wants the anxiety to stop. But, the more someone learns to accept the feeling of anxiety, the less it affects them; which tends to break the cycle and lessen the anxiety. I recommend looking up Claire Weekes Pass Over Panic. Your dd seems to fit the  profile of a logical, analytical person who develops an anxiety disorder, which is who Claire Weekes speaks to so well. It was extremely effective here. If you’re interested but can’t find it, I’ll try to get you some links. 

[East Coast Sue]

Just throwing this out b/c you say the problem is in a very specific situation…. check out EMDR. It was life changing for my kid with a similar issue. Very, very effective and the problem was 100% resolved. 

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, Shelydon said:

Update-- We all made it through my surgery.  A couple of weeks ago, we consulted with the psychiatrist again. We have been trying a SSRI for two weeks with terrible results.  Within a few days she lost her normal bubbly personality, and sank into a serious depression.  We discontinued the meds yesterday.  Really don't know what we will do next.  We had tried therapy, but so far, it has been completely useless. 

I’m sorry things aren’t going well for your dd, but I’m glad your surgery is over!

[kristin0713]

9 hours ago, Shelydon said:

Update-- We all made it through my surgery.  A couple of weeks ago, we consulted with the psychiatrist again. We have been trying a SSRI for two weeks with terrible results.  Within a few days she lost her normal bubbly personality, and sank into a serious depression.  We discontinued the meds yesterday.  Really don't know what we will do next.  We had tried therapy, but so far, it has been completely useless. 

Sometimes it takes a few different meds to find one that helps. 

[ktgrok]

On 6/19/2021 at 7:57 AM, kristin0713 said:

She is a tad old to consider PANS/PANDAS but have you looked into that?  Does she have any other symptoms that she didn't have before? (Food restriction, tics, any behavior that is different or bizarre?)  I'm mentioning it because you said it just developed during lockdown and it is extreme. 

Does she have any other symptoms of OCD?  This video  talks about OCD symptoms in teens. This one is specific to separation anxiety but is longer. 

this is what I was going to mention. Any strep throat before this started? Other illness? (mycoplasma pneumonia is another big trigger, or mono, etc)

A big key with PANDAS is that NSAIDs often help. Almost always. So dosing ibuprofen 3 times a day for a few days, or aleve twice a day, can give you an indication. 

That said, either way you will need to do exposure therapy, slowly, with "rewards". 

There isn't much written about it for humans, that I know of, but there is a ton of stuff on dealing with it in dogs...not that your child is a dog but might be helpful to read about. Basically, find out what her threshold is. If she is okay with you across the room, but. not okay if you leave the room, spend a day or so making an effort to stay across the room. Ideally while she eats candy or reads a good book or watches a fun show, anything tha triggers happy brain signals. Then spend time hanging out in the doorway. Go to the doorway, but don't leave, then go back to your chair. Then get up and do it again. Keep doing it until she isn't tensing up. Then go into the other room for a brief second, then come back. Then do it again and again until that doesn't freak her out. Then stay out longer. Then go to your car, open the door, shut it, come back in. Over and over, until that doesn't trigger her. Then go out and start the car, but don't leave. Come back in. Try driving around the block and coming back home. Etc. Vary how long, but don't go too long. Every time she gets stressed out by it, it is a set back. 

You want to rewire the neural pathways. Think of them as becoming overgrown when not used, like a forest growing back over an unused hiking trail. But every time you walk down it again, you widen the path and make it easier to navigate - the opposite of what you want. So try to stay under a certain threshold. You want her to be "successful". 

And you want some rewarding activity for her to do during this, but if she is too stressed because you pushed too far she won't be able to enjoy it. At the same time, if she never is forced to experience a  low level of anxiety and succeed at overcoming it, she will become more phobic. 

My 4 yr old went through this because of the pandemic - we were all home all the time so when someone left it was a shock and she would freak out. But I made a point of going out for a few minutes here and there and it got better. For her, it helped to have Daddy be the one to tell her mommy was leaving...no idea why though. 

Edited September 5, 2021 by ktgrok

[maize]

10 hours ago, Shelydon said:

I don't know.  I'll look.  Her anxiety is very specific, so not sure if she would qualify.  In theory, therapy is supposed to help, but it doesn't.  She can detail everything she is thinking and why, but can't stop feeling anxious.

She won't likely qualify for insurance coverage for TMS, but it might be worth looking into as self pay. Call around to psychiatrists who offer it and see if there is someone who treats adolescents and has experience maybe in combining TMS with exposure therapy. This is done for OCD, the idea is to help re-wire the brain by doing exposures during the TMS treatment. In her case, the exposure might just be having you step out of the room, or leave the building.

There've been some studies showing quicker patient response with multiple TMS sessions per day.

I know an excellent TMS clinic with locations in Colorado, Utah, and Arizona, so let me know if you are in that area!

This is the treatment that completely transformed my husband's life after two and a half decades living with chronic depression. My 16 year old son did a course of treatment this summer targeted at OCD; we haven't yet seen such miraculous results but he is much more functional than he was before treatment. With many patients improvement continues after the end of treatment as the brain rewires itself so I am hopeful that we will continue to see improvement.

Edited September 5, 2021 by maize

[kristin0713]

36 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

A big key with PANDAS is that NSAIDs often help. Almost always. So dosing ibuprofen 3 times a day for a few days, or aleve twice a day, can give you an indication. 

Yes, and interestingly, SSRIs do not help with PANS/PANDAS. The brain inflammation needs to be dealt with first. 

[Kanin]

2 minutes ago, maize said:

This is the treatment that completely transformed my husband's life after two and a half decades living with chronic depression.

I am so happy for you all!!!

[ktgrok]

36 minutes ago, kristin0713 said:

Yes, and interestingly, SSRIs do not help with PANS/PANDAS. The brain inflammation needs to be dealt with first. 

Yup. It's tragic how many are treated with the wrong meds. 

[ktgrok]

Oh! Also, has she had general labwork lately or due for any? Any digestive issues, skin rashes, brain fog? AI issues, including thyroid issues, Celiac disease, and Lupus can all present as primarily psychological with anxiety, depression, or OCD behaviors the main indicator. But joint pain, digestive issues, and skin rash are other signs in some people. Any time you have quick onset behavior change you want to rule out physical causes. They may not be the whole problem, but if they exist then treating the anxiety part will be much easier after addressing the physical part. Also anemia is common in young women and teens, and can trigger panic attack type feelings or make you more prone to them and anxiety (heart beats faster to make up for lack of oxygen and the brain interprets a fast heart rate as meaning fear). Low D can also make it hard to treat depression/anxiety. 

I think it is LIKELY that this is mostly due to the pandemic, but often there are underlying things making symptoms more severe, and treatment difficult. So, sure, therapy or meds may be needed, but therapy when thyroid is out of whack isn't going to work, but therapy after addressing thyroid would likely help...that kind of thing. I'd really really INSIST on labwork, including thyroid, iron panel (she can say she has heavy periods to justify), and autoimmune panel especially celiac. 

There are SO many cases of people treating "mental" issues that are fixable and diagnosable physical problems. It is worth ruling them out, if only to optimize her health while she works on this stuff. My husband's depression turned out to be mostly low vitamin D (like, rickets level!) for instance. 

[ktgrok]

What kind of therapy? If it was just talking about her feelings, that is not how you fix a phobia which is sort of the category separation anxiety falls in. If you can't find someone who does exposure therapy, then I'd seriously consider (and I'm not kidding) a good dog trainer! Or at least reading up on separation anxiety in animals, since it may help. 

(there are two schools of treatment for separation anxiety, one is the one I listed in my earlier post. That one is all about classically conditioning the new emotion.  Another school of thought, which relies on operant conditioning, works faster but not always the right choice. For some it works wonders though. The idea is to teach the dog/human a behavior that mimics calm - so laying down. Just like faking a smile can induce happy brain chemicals, adopting certain postures can help calm the brain. Then introduce the stressor - leaving - and reward staying in that position and punish not staying in that position. The idea is that the dog thinks they cannot lay down and be calm while alone..so showing them "yes you can" is a light bulb moment. Also, the pacing and such just ramps up the stress hormones and makes them more upset. They get into a negative feedback loop and you have to break it.  If you have the time, I'd try the first method first. It's much "nicer". But if it doesn't work, try the second. Have her adopt a calm posture, and set a short timer.  if she stays in that posture and continues slow calm breaths you come back when it is up. If she starts acting anxious she pulls a rubber band on her wrist or whatever and time starts over. This one give her control, which she may like, but is harder at first.)

[Shelydon]

16 hours ago, KSera said:

Has anyone tried the approach of not trying to get her to stop feeling anxious? That is often circular and counter productive, even though it is so often the focus, because everyone wants the anxiety to stop. But, the more someone learns to accept the feeling of anxiety, the less it affects them; which tends to break the cycle and lessen the anxiety. I recommend looking up Claire Weekes Pass Over Panic. Your dd seems to fit the  profile of a logical, analytical person who develops an anxiety disorder, which is who Claire Weekes speaks to so well. It was extremely effective here. If you’re interested but can’t find it, I’ll try to get you some links. 

This has been more my approach, but it makes her more anxious.  I found the book you are referring to and ordered it.  I'll read it first and see if she will read it too.

[Shelydon]

5 hours ago, ktgrok said:

Oh! Also, has she had general labwork lately or due for any? Any digestive issues, skin rashes, brain fog? AI issues, including thyroid issues, Celiac disease, and Lupus can all present as primarily psychological with anxiety, depression, or OCD behaviors the main indicator. But joint pain, digestive issues, and skin rash are other signs in some people. Any time you have quick onset behavior change you want to rule out physical causes. They may not be the whole problem, but if they exist then treating the anxiety part will be much easier after addressing the physical part. Also anemia is common in young women and teens, and can trigger panic attack type feelings or make you more prone to them and anxiety (heart beats faster to make up for lack of oxygen and the brain interprets a fast heart rate as meaning fear). Low D can also make it hard to treat depression/anxiety. 

I think it is LIKELY that this is mostly due to the pandemic, but often there are underlying things making symptoms more severe, and treatment difficult. So, sure, therapy or meds may be needed, but therapy when thyroid is out of whack isn't going to work, but therapy after addressing thyroid would likely help...that kind of thing. I'd really really INSIST on labwork, including thyroid, iron panel (she can say she has heavy periods to justify), and autoimmune panel especially celiac. 

There are SO many cases of people treating "mental" issues that are fixable and diagnosable physical problems. It is worth ruling them out, if only to optimize her health while she works on this stuff. My husband's depression turned out to be mostly low vitamin D (like, rickets level!) for instance. 

Yes.  Full physical including a visit to cardiologist and ENT.  I agree, I have seen lots of teens and adults on meds when they seem to have a  physiological issue. 

[Shelydon]

14 hours ago, Catwoman said:

I’m sorry things aren’t going well for your dd, but I’m glad your surgery is over!

Thanks!  I was worried because I'd never had surgery and I knew DD would be a mess, but I was home withing 24 hours and have healed perfectly.

[KSera]

Just now, Shelydon said:

This has been more my approach, but it makes her more anxious.  I found the book you are referring to and ordered it.  I'll read it first and see if she will read it too.

There are a series of audios she did that are excellent and pretty quick to listen to. Audible has them and Amazon has a CD version. I think  when we used them I got them through the iTunes store. I hope something helps her!

[Shelydon]

8 hours ago, kristin0713 said:

Sometimes it takes a few different meds to find one that helps. 

Yes.   I have an older child that has/had generalized anxiety.  It took 4 meds to find one that worked, but when it did, it worked in 3 days and continually got better.  We started this child on the same med because genetics.  I won't be able to get her to try anything else I don't think.  She can hardly interact with anyone or leave her room. 

[Shelydon]

I'll look up EMDR  in my area, there should be something.  She has another regular doctor appt. soon.  I'll talk to her doctor as well and see if low dose birth control might be a good choice to level out hormones that are likely contributing to the issue.  Thanks for all the input.  It is to hard to watch your kid struggle and not be able to figure out how to fix the problem.

[Shelydon]

Just a quick update.  After 3 days off medicine, she is back to normal personality and previous level of anxiety.  

[SoCal_Bear]

I didn't read through all the responses, but I'm sure others have recommended seeking out CBT. Ditto on this.

[bookbard]

8 hours ago, Shelydon said:

Just a quick update.  After 3 days off medicine, she is back to normal personality and previous level of anxiety.  

Thanks for updating, good to hear. 

[Shelydon]

On 9/5/2021 at 3:24 PM, Shelydon said:

I'll look up EMDR  in my area, there should be something.  She has another regular doctor appt. soon.  I'll talk to her doctor as well and see if low dose birth control might be a good choice to level out hormones that are likely contributing to the issue.  Thanks for all the input.  It is to hard to watch your kid struggle and not be able to figure out how to fix the problem.

There is EMDR in my area.  I called and they said it works if you have a specifi trauma to work on, but not for general anxiety or anxiety that doesn't have trauma as a cause?  Should I call more places?

[Shelydon]

I thought I would update.  My teen's anxiety has worsened to the point of nearly not being able to leave the house.  She has tried 4 medications over the last several months. They all have either not made any difference or made things worse.  Her therapist has recommended finding someone else as she feels that she is not being a help.   I am trying to find a new psychiatrist, but no one is taking new patients.  We tried EMDR, but my DD refused to participate because it made her feel detached like she wasn't a real person.