Teens and Young Adults, “Life Experiences”

[SKL]

I want to clarify something about sports knowledge, and other culturally popular things I may not actually enjoy or care about.

When I was new in my job at a large accounting firm, pretty much the only thing anyone talked about was pro basketball.

I couldn't have cared two hoots (hoops?) about basketball.  The only pro sport I liked was football.  I didn't even care enough to understand how basketball was played.  I knew none of the names of the star players or any of our local pro team.  In short, I was a complete dud as far as my colleagues were concerned.

One day I was invited by my hiring partner to attend the pro basketball game in the company loge.  I said no thanks, I don't really like basketball.  I almost got fired.

This kind of cluelessness is a real problem.  I mean, sure, I had lots of things I found interesting that I could talk about.  But the people I worked with weren't into that stuff.  And I needed to make some kind of "first impression."  I was pretty much written off within the first week because I had nothing to add to the common conversations.

(I did survive and carve a niche for myself, socially and professionally, but it would have been so much easier had I not seemed to come from a different planet at first.)

For my girls, I just don't want them to come up with a blank stare about common topics of discussion.  You don't have to be a sports genius, but it would help to know who are the key players on your local team and whether they're having a good season this year.  (Basketball is just an example of course.)

[Faith-manor]

Well, I don't know about intentionally but it was natural to include the kids and dh and I like to live broad. We love to see new things, experience new places. So the kids have traveled slots often on limited budget during their young years so lots of camping.

We also mentored a 4H STEM club for 11 years and the kids were able to have a ton of experiences through activities sponsored by 4H, and at low cost due to being offset by state and local funds. Our rocket team traveled to the D.C. area numerous times for The American Rocketry Challenge Finals so they competed and were also able to go into D.C., attend the Congressional Breakfast, Rockets on the Hill, and tour the Smithsonian museums, the monuments, and Arlington. This gave us the opportunity to teach the team members how to read train routes, buy tickets, use the metro, flag a taxi, etc. We took a group to Chicago one time and used the bus system with them. One of our rocket alumni loves in Chicago now and was grateful for the experience because she wasn't overwhelmed trying to figure out the system.

Money helped. As Dh's income grew, we were able to do more.

Libraries were our friends as well as community events that did not require admission. We were also lucky in the early years to have family out of state in a variety of places so we had a place to go without hotel costs. That was nice because the kids were meeting people from different regions and cultural backgrounds.

I don't think we had a plan per season, just included the kids in everything we were doing and instructed them in the skills we already possessed. We enjoy learning new things so they would end up immersed in the pursuits as well.

[Faith-manor]

Now that said, sports was not a thing. We camp, swim, canoe, kayak, hike, and do enjoy skiing. But my kids could not tell you much of anything about standard sports like basketball or football. As my youngest says, "I grew up in a home in which chess was our main sport!" 😁

[Frances]

38 minutes ago, SKL said:

I want to clarify something about sports knowledge, and other culturally popular things I may not actually enjoy or care about.

When I was new in my job at a large accounting firm, pretty much the only thing anyone talked about was pro basketball.

I couldn't have cared two hoots (hoops?) about basketball.  The only pro sport I liked was football.  I didn't even care enough to understand how basketball was played.  I knew none of the names of the star players or any of our local pro team.  In short, I was a complete dud as far as my colleagues were concerned.

One day I was invited by my hiring partner to attend the pro basketball game in the company loge.  I said no thanks, I don't really like basketball.  I almost got fired.

This kind of cluelessness is a real problem.  I mean, sure, I had lots of things I found interesting that I could talk about.  But the people I worked with weren't into that stuff.  And I needed to make some kind of "first impression."  I was pretty much written off within the first week because I had nothing to add to the common conversations.

(I did survive and carve a niche for myself, socially and professionally, but it would have been so much easier had I not seemed to come from a different planet at first.)

For my girls, I just don't want them to come up with a blank stare about common topics of discussion.  You don't have to be a sports genius, but it would help to know who are the key players on your local team and whether they're having a good season this year.  (Basketball is just an example of course.)

Our son had not just no interest, but a negative interest, in any mainstream sports. To some degree, we did consider basic knowledge of the main sports to be part of cultural literacy in the US. Fortunately, one of the main ECs he chose was being very involved in multiple ways with the local community access TV station and part of that was going out with crews to film all sorts of community events and meetings, including sporting events. So he learned all of the rules and terms through that. He still has no interest in attending or watching football, basketball, baseball, soccer, etc, but at least he can now follow the lingo if needed.

I will say that I grew up in a sports crazy area and from watching professional football with my dad and attending tons of high school basketball and baseball games, I knew all about basketball, football, and baseball, and not just at a casual level. And even though I don’t watch or attend any of it now, being in a very male dominated profession, the knowledge has definitely has come in handy at times.

Edited May 31, 2021 by Frances

[HomeAgain]

I'm going to go back to the original question and answer for my specific kids based on their lives, and what we did end up gravitating to.

Oldest:
To navigate a metro system
To be comfortable at formal dinners
To know how to pack a bag
To visit museums, concerts and art exhibits
To be comfortable with the unknown
To know how to budget, understand retirement account options, and everything else

Youngest:
To know how to channel his ferocity
To see the results of methodical hard work
To be fluent enough in ASL & French to offer help or ask for help

Why the different lists?  We were more limited in income with the oldest, but sought out opportunities for him at free or low cost events.  We visited every free museum, play and concert we came across.  He worked his tail off every year to travel to different countries with scouts and youth group, and needed specific skills to do that.  We didn't want him to make our financial mistakes, so gave him lots of class opportunities to learn finances from others.  We didn't want his first formal meal to be a shock to him as an adult.

The youngest has had it easy.  He knew everything from doing it with the oldest, we have museum passes, but our income is different, and our lifestyle is no longer transient, both criteria for giving him the opportunity to work for years at something with master teachers. He has a serious gift for languages and should use it for greater good.  But he also is slightly high-strung, the kind of kid we banned from sports as a preschooler because we were seriously afraid he would knock another kid senseless for not doing something well or following a rule.  Teaching him to be fierce, determinedly fierce, and not just a pinball of rage, that was more important than some things on his brother's list.

[marbel]

Re: sports - I agree with SKL.

When at 16 my kid joined the local volunteer fire department, he was a weird homeschooled kid who had no knowledge of or interest in sports. We coached (haha) him on the local teams and terminology, just so he wouldn't stick out more as a freak. He learned to sit through a few football games; he still doesn't enjoy it but he is not clueless anymore. 

[Kassia]

9 minutes ago, marbel said:

Re: sports - I agree with SKL.

When at 16 my kid joined the local volunteer fire department, he was a weird homeschooled kid who had no knowledge of or interest in sports. We coached (haha) him on the local teams and terminology, just so he wouldn't stick out more as a freak. He learned to sit through a few football games; he still doesn't enjoy it but he is not clueless anymore. 

What I found with sports is that they are used in some classes to make assignments fun but it's not so fun for students like my dd who have absolutely no interest in sports and, therefore, no knowledge.  This has happened in her math and computer science classes and it makes the assignments so much harder since she has to learn about the sport stuff before she can understand the actual assignments.  

ETA - she likes basketball and soccer, but absolutely hates baseball and football

 

Edited June 1, 2021 by Kassia

[teachermom2834]

We are a sports family but I get that other people aren’t interested. One thing I do think is important is a very general knowledge of the basics of common sports. I have been in settings where a young adult or teen didn’t know a basic like “three strikes and you’re out” or basketball basics. A grown or nearly grown person that tries to run down a basketball court without dribbling the ball is going to be embarrassed and likely hear about it for a long time to come. I don’t give too much thought to PE but I can see how running through basics of popular American sports could be pretty useful.

[Guest]

On 5/31/2021 at 8:28 PM, teachermom2834 said:

We are a sports family but I get that other people aren’t interested. One thing I do think is important is a very general knowledge of the basics of common sports. I have been in settings where a young adult or teen didn’t know a basic like “three strikes and you’re out” or basketball basics. A grown or nearly grown person that tries to run down a basketball court without dribbling the ball is going to be embarrassed and likely hear about it for a long time to come. I don’t give too much thought to PE but I can see how running through basics of popular American sports could be pretty useful.

I agree. I did not come from a sporty background and, as kids, my sisters and I were prohibited from playing team sports because a) sometimes games or practices interfered with church attendance; b) girls don’t do sports. 🙄

It was a disadvantage for a while as an adult because I couldn’t speak that language or participate in those conversations. 

[historically accurate]

On 5/31/2021 at 7:28 PM, teachermom2834 said:

We are a sports family but I get that other people aren’t interested. One thing I do think is important is a very general knowledge of the basics of common sports. I have been in settings where a young adult or teen didn’t know a basic like “three strikes and you’re out” or basketball basics. A grown or nearly grown person that tries to run down a basketball court without dribbling the ball is going to be embarrassed and likely hear about it for a long time to come. I don’t give too much thought to PE but I can see how running through basics of popular American sports could be pretty useful.

I only taught PE in middle school with my kids. They exercised and played sports they liked throughout their school years, but I only taught it in middle school. It was with the sole purpose of teaching the basics of common sports. I was hoping to keep them from screaming "touchdown" at a baseball game, etc. We did: football, soccer, volleyball, baseball, tennis, gymnastics, basketball, hockey, and swimming if I remember correctly.  Learned the rules and how to score for a couple weeks with a couple family games, watched a game/match (either in person or on TV), and in the case of "big" sports, learned the names of a couple of national teams. It kind of stuck with 2 of them - one is still clueless, but she's now an adult, and if she chooses to talk about sports, she'll be way out of her league. Honestly, I can't imagine she'll ever willingly watch or talk about sports though.

[regentrude]

3 hours ago, Quill said:

It was a disadvantage for a while as an adult because I couldn’t speak that language or participate in those conversations. 

So interesting. I don't care about ball sports and never invested any time learning the rules but in the 20+ years I have lived in this country, I can only recall a handful of occasions where I witnessed people discussing sports. Folks talk about all kinds of different things; sports may get a passing mention among many other topics. 

If anyone ever asked my opinion on something sports related, I  shrug, laugh, and say I'm lacking the sports gene. Has never been an issue in any group. In most circles I am part of, sports get never mentioned. 

Edited June 2, 2021 by regentrude

[Guest]

13 hours ago, regentrude said:

So interesting. I don't care about ball sports and never invested any time learning the rules but in the 20+ years I have lived in this country, I can only recall a handful of occasions where I witnessed people discussing sports. Folks talk about all kinds of different things; sports may get a passing mention among many other topics. 

If anyone ever asked my opinion on something sports related, I  shrug, laugh, and say I'm lacking the sports gene. Has never been an issue in any group. In most circles I am part of, sports get never mentioned. 

Interesting. I find that there are a lot of sports metaphors used in business and to some extent, just in social relationships. 

It is true that I many times said, “Well, football doesn’t mean much to me, so, no, I probably won’t watch the Superbowl,” and I do think, whatever, that’s not my gig so...*shrug*. But I did feel like an outsider a lot in my early twenties because I didn’t really know anything about sports and I didn’t follow any sport whatsoever. Many times, I had tickets to skyboxes and such but I had no idea what was happening on the field. 😏

[bookbard]

Don't know what it's like in the USA, but sports is incredibly linked to class, here. The NRL (rugby football) seems more linked with working class than tennis and cricket. As for the AFL (Australian football), it's linked with where you live, and so has class-based subtleties that I don't understand. 

I have never had a sports-based conversation with another woman except for talking about what our partners are doing that weekend, or what sport the kids do. My Dad definitely brings up sports as a conversation starter with my husband, though (who does watch a lot of different sports). 

[KungFuPanda]

I grew up rurally and before the internet. I took my first flight at 18.  There were things I wasn’t exposed to, but NONE of it was so hard to figure out that I needed to be prepped for years by my parents. Airports have maps. Metros have maps. If you’re interested in something, you’ll get yourself up to speed; especially now that information is so easy to come by. 
 

My kids were exposed to a lot more than I was, but it didn’t all stick. Neither one of them cares too much for the great outdoors. Their sports education has been completely neglected. Nobody in this house is interested in teaching or learning the rules of baseball. Still, my daughter has launched into the world as a fully functioning, financially independent adult. 
 

I can’t get too stressed about a master life skills checklist. Most people are able to learn what they want to learn. 
 

 

[SKL]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

Interesting. I find that there are a lot of sports metaphors used in business and to some extent, just in social relationships. 

It is true that I many times said, “Well, football doesn’t mean much to me, so, no, I probably won’t watch the Superbowl,” and I do think, whatever, that’s not my gig so...*shrug*. But I did feel like an outsider a lot in my early twenties because I didn’t really know anything about sports and I didn’t follow any sport whatsoever. Many times, I had tickets to skyboxes and such but I had no idea what was happening on the field. 😏

Yes, even here on this thread I think someone said "I'd be out of my league."

We could probably have a whole thread just on commonly used sports metaphors.  (And another one for gun metaphors etc.)  People could still use them without understanding sports, but I think it's better to know the original meaning.

(Unrelated, but last week I explained to my kids what "drank the Kool-aid" came from.  I wondered how many young people today don't know that.)

[Clarita]

I think for me the things I want to intentionally expose my kids to are different life experiences, the good and the bad. I want them to be kind to people around them but also know the world has bad things/evil in it. 

I would like to expose my kids to meeting the needs of others in an informal way. Not just officially volunteering but just seeing a need and meeting it. 

My kids will at some point before their teens go on an international flight, because my family lives in Hong Kong. They will enjoy a variety of food because their parents LOVE food and a privilege of where we live. (small brag, my 3 year old LOVES Sashimi she's my super adventurous eater. She asks what something is while shoveling it into her mouth and will continue to try a few more bites after telling me it's "yucks".) 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, SKL said:

Yes, even here on this thread I think someone said "I'd be out of my league."

We could probably have a whole thread just on commonly used sports metaphors.  (And another one for gun metaphors etc.)  People could still use them without understanding sports, but I think it's better to know the original meaning.

(Unrelated, but last week I explained to my kids what "drank the Kool-aid" came from.  I wondered how many young people today don't know that.)

Oooh, I think we should do it!