How to Teach Counting to a 3 y.o.

[F W]

Help! I think my daughter has an aversion to counting. Below is an Imgur link of her morning work. She is able to count above three when I work with her, but when she is doing work independently, she avoids any number above three. In other words, I think she's doing this on purpose, because she knows what four items looks like and can count five if she tries. Also, when she doesn't have to do one-to-one counting, she can recite #1-10 just fine. Her overall attitude to worksheets is positive (except for counting), and likes to try worksheets such as tracing, matching, and circling. 

What's going on? 

https://imgur.com/a/iUqjjYA

[Drama Llama]

I can't see the picture.  Is she counting pictures of items?  I wouldn't consider that developmentally appropriate for a 3 year old.  A 3 year old learning 1:1 correspondence needs to be working with real objects that they can move as they count.  

 

[F W]

Sorry! 😦 I just figured out how to attach pictures. Here it is: 

[Drama Llama]

I would look at that worksheet and assume that she isn't counting, she's subitizing (recognizing small sets automatically).  The latter is actually a more important math skill, so that's great.  But many 3 year olds aren't going to be able to subitize 4 and 5.  

Honestly, I wouldn't do a worksheet like that with a three year old.  I'd put it away and have her do other things.  

[medawyn]

Like PP, I wouldn’t do a worksheet like that with a 3 yo, even my current loves to do worksheets like the big kids 3 yo.  I stick to coloring and tracing and very simple mazes, and I only offer those because she is begging to do school at the table with the big kids.

Kate Snow’s book Preschool Math at Home is full of developmentally appropriate activities you can do with 3 yo to develop their number sense.  I would recommend that many times over worksheets.  Frankly we don’t do anything other than real life counting and math (How many cups are on the table? Can you put one more cup on the table? Can you give each plate three apple slices?) until my kids are kindergarten age.

[sweet2ndchance]

37 minutes ago, F W said:

Help! I think my daughter has an aversion to counting. Below is an Imgur link of her morning work. She is able to count above three when I work with her, but when she is doing work independently, she avoids any number above three. In other words, I think she's doing this on purpose, because she knows what four items looks like and can count five if she tries.

Gently, yes, she is doing it on purpose. She is trying to show you that she is not quite ready for this kind of work. She will get there but right now, she's not ready and she avoids it as a result. She needs time and more practice with real life situations

37 minutes ago, F W said:

Also, when she doesn't have to do one-to-one counting, she can recite #1-10 just fine.

That is called rote counting and is a completely different skill than one-to-one correspondence or matching numerals to sets.

37 minutes ago, F W said:

Her overall attitude to worksheets is positive (except for counting), and likes to try worksheets such as tracing, matching, and circling. 

It's great that she likes worksheets but they really are not developmentally appropriate for a 3yo. At her age, if she wants a worksheet to do, then great print her some preschool or kindergarten worksheets to do but I wouldn't worry about her completing them. Let her do as much as she wants or  as little as she wants. Right now, counting everything in her world (steps, chairs, plates, birds, dolls...) is developmentally appropriate. The Preschool Math at Home book mentioned above is awesome and full of developmentally appropriate math activities that a 3 or 4 yo would love to do.

[Junie]

This worksheet is actually not about counting.  It is about number recognition.  A child doing this worksheet should already be able to count items accurately.  This worksheet is designed to match a number of items to the correct numeral on the side of the page.

[Xahm]

I'm all for learning lots at young ages. Teaching things to my kids is one major way I bond with them. But I'd put the worksheets away. Count things in your real life activities. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the more an activity looks like school, the more educational it is. However, when you have your three year old "help" you sort laundry, you can teach so much. You can, of course, practice counting. You can talk about bigger and smaller, more and less. Matching socks is fantastic, practicing a number of different skills. The child experiences a variety of textures and gets in some done and gross motor work. Additionally, the child feels like a helper, like they contribute to the family. How many worksheets and bits of carefully planned educational activity would you have to do to match that? Worksheets have their place, and when they are fun for you and kiddo, that's a great activity. There are lots of hours in the day, and five-ten minutes practicing pencil skills and feeling like a big kid can be interesting and valuable, but try to find ways to bring your child alongside you, to talk with you and "help" you. You'll be surprised how much they learn that way.

[Susan in TX]

Why in the world are you teaching a 3 year old how to count? This is totally unnecessary. This is something that a child will learn naturally when they are ready. If you want to help that natural learning process that can be done easily and in a fun way in every day conversation. You can also read books such as Spot Can Count or Ten Apples Up on Top. There are lots of children's books that focus on numbers and counting. There are also games and puzzles. But most children will pick this up naturally without any teaching.

Susan in TX

[Not_a_Number]

I like teaching my kids to count, but I'd absolutely do it with actual objects or in fun counting books 🙂 . And I'd show them how to show numbers on their fingers -- that's a useful ability. I tend to unconsciously model it because I'll show numbers on my fingers, too. 

[goldenecho]

Have her count things in real life situations.  

"Would you like some M&Ms?  How many?   Can you count them out?"

It's almost time to go, but I'll keep swinging you as high as you can count, ok?

"Lets count out 3 tablespoons for this recipe." 

How many dolls do you have that have brown hair?   Can you count them for me?   How many with blondhair? 

Counting actual things is more fun that counting pictures sometimes, and feels less like work.

 

Edited March 12, 2021 by goldenecho

[Shoeless]

9 hours ago, goldenecho said:

Have her count things in real life situations.  

"Would you like some M&Ms?  How many?   Can you count them out?"

It's almost time to go, but I'll keep swinging you as high as you can count, ok?

"Lets count out 3 tablespoons for this recipe." 

How many dolls do you have that have brown hair?   Can you count them for me?   How many with brown hair? 

Counting actual things is more fun that counting pictures sometimes, and feels less like work.

 

We used to count while putting away toys. 

"Here's 1 block to put in the basket! Ok, now here's one...two...blocks to put away! Now here's one...two...three blocks! Oh no! I forgot what 'four' blocks looks like! Can you help me figure out how many blocks 'four' would be?" 

Gosh, it was such a fun age. Put away the worksheets, op!  There are so many other fun ways for them to learn this. 

[kiwik]

Like the others said.  Even if you have a child that is exceptionally gifted the work sheet is developmentally inappropriate.  And counting without 1 to 1 is more like reciting a nursery rhyme than counting.

[Clemsondana]

We did a lot of counting and even more complex math, in preschool but we weren't big on worksheets or even written work.  They had coloring, mazes, and cutting out stuff workbooks.  We counted as we cleaned up blocks, divided snacks equally, or set the table.  If a kid wants worksheets like an older kid, that's fine but I wouldn't be worried about them not being done correctly.  

[Arctic Bunny]

Besides regular day-to-day counting (how many plates do we need? Can you find two blue blocks for the tower? How many eggs in the cake? How many legs does the (animal/insect in picture) have?), the most intentional counting I can remember doing is up and down steps (which I later used for negative numbers) and hopscotch.

[F W]

19 hours ago, medawyn said:

Kate Snow’s book Preschool Math at Home

Thank you for the suggestion! I bought it last night on Amazon. 

[F W]

1 hour ago, Arctic Bunny said:

Besides regular day-to-day counting (how many plates do we need? Can you find two blue blocks for the tower? How many eggs in the cake? How many legs does the (animal/insect in picture) have?), the most intentional counting I can remember doing is up and down steps (which I later used for negative numbers) and hopscotch.

These are great ideas! Thank you! 

[F W]

19 hours ago, sweet2ndchance said:

Gently, yes, she is doing it on purpose. She is trying to show you that she is not quite ready for this kind of work. She will get there but right now, she's not ready and she avoids it as a result. She needs time and more practice with real life situations

That is called rote counting and is a completely different skill than one-to-one correspondence or matching numerals to sets.

It's great that she likes worksheets but they really are not developmentally appropriate for a 3yo. At her age, if she wants a worksheet to do, then great print her some preschool or kindergarten worksheets to do but I wouldn't worry about her completing them. Let her do as much as she wants or  as little as she wants. Right now, counting everything in her world (steps, chairs, plates, birds, dolls...) is developmentally appropriate. The Preschool Math at Home book mentioned above is awesome and full of developmentally appropriate math activities that a 3 or 4 yo would love to do.

Thank you for the detailed advice! I purchased the book, but I think we will actually give counting a break. I tried counting giraffes on her playmat last night after reading everyone's advice, poker cards that she was playing with, and fish from a fishing game, and she was completely avoidant of that too. 

[F W]

17 hours ago, Not_a_Number said:

I like teaching my kids to count, but I'd absolutely do it with actual objects or in fun counting books 🙂 . And I'd show them how to show numbers on their fingers -- that's a useful ability. I tend to unconsciously model it because I'll show numbers on my fingers, too. 

Great idea! I'll try to model counting more too. 

[Arctic Bunny]

7 minutes ago, F W said:

Thank you for the detailed advice! I purchased the book, but I think we will actually give counting a break. I tried counting giraffes on her playmat last night after reading everyone's advice, poker cards that she was playing with, and fish from a fishing game, and she was completely avoidant of that too. 

Ah yes, asking her to count is a completely different animal..... I would say my kids did very little counting themselves at 3yo, but I sure did a lot! Here, let me help you with you buttons! One button, two buttons.... Look at all the fish in the tank! A yellow fish! Another yellow fish! Three yellow fish!

[EKS]

I'd lose the worksheets and just count things in her presence as you live your life.  She'll get it soon enough.  And once she gets it, she'll do it herself in due course.

[medawyn]

36 minutes ago, F W said:

Thank you for the detailed advice! I purchased the book, but I think we will actually give counting a break. I tried counting giraffes on her playmat last night after reading everyone's advice, poker cards that she was playing with, and fish from a fishing game, and she was completely avoidant of that too. 

Yup, she’s definitely telling you she needs a break! Lots of modeling from you, and when she’s ready she’ll jump back in.  Funny story, I was organizing a bathroom drawer one evening, and my husband was shaving or something. I’m counting out loud as I clean, and he finally asked me if I thought he needed help counting to 10.  Lol. I’ve spent so many years narrating counting (and colors, patterns, size relationships, etc) I was doing it for my (engineering!) DH.

When we finally get around to formal school in kindergarten, I’m always surprised by what my kids know and are able to demonstrate in more traditional academic ways just from listening to me narrate things like setting the table or walking down our street.

[Not_a_Number]

1 hour ago, F W said:

Thank you for the detailed advice! I purchased the book, but I think we will actually give counting a break. I tried counting giraffes on her playmat last night after reading everyone's advice, poker cards that she was playing with, and fish from a fishing game, and she was completely avoidant of that too. 

Ah yeah, she sounds a bit burned out! The good thing about 3 year olds is that they forget about being burned out relatively quickly 😉 . But I'd take a break! 

[AnneGG]

I was totally the mom doing totschool with my 2 year old, so I completely understand wanting to do lessons with a young child. I have loads of activity recommendations, but the bottom line is  to just focus on fun and input. I don’t put any pressure on kids that young to give me answers/output. 
 

Before Five in a Row is really relaxed and gentle totschool/preschool program that doesn’t require output. 

[F W]

11 hours ago, AnneGG said:

I was totally the mom doing totschool with my 2 year old, so I completely understand wanting to do lessons with a young child. I have loads of activity recommendations, but the bottom line is  to just focus on fun and input. I don’t put any pressure on kids that young to give me answers/output. 
 

Before Five in a Row is really relaxed and gentle totschool/preschool program that doesn’t require output. 

Thank you for the suggestion! I will look at Before Five in a Row. 

[PeterPan]

Are you seeing signs that concern you like a speech delay, not hitting developmental milestones, differences in social engagement or responsiveness, etc.? Sure there are times when this could be an issue, so I'm not totally in favor of making it sound like oh it's nothing. But I'm more curious to hear the context, like why this worries you, what else is going on. 

My ds has SLDs in math, reading, and writing and autism. So sure at this age it was showing. But what my ds did or didn't do at that age was in a larger context and I was DOING THE IMPORTANT THINGS. The important things are to make sure you're catching any developmental issues that need intervention and to PLAY, PLAY, PLAY. I include reading aloud under play. Everything she needs can be done with play and intentional playful interaction, even if it's worst case scenarios. 

For playing together at this age, I particularly like 

-the MFW toddler and preschool activity cards, which hit a lot of basic skills and are WONDERFUL

-anything from Melissa & Doug--Kohls, amazon, you can buy stuff lots of places and it's all wonderful. They have birthday cake sets, sandwhich/taco, pizza, puzzles, so so much great stuff. peg stackers, things you sort. All your basic skills and the social and the gross/fine motor can all happen with intentional play. If you can't afford toys, look for a lending library (teacher's college, church nursery, local homeschooling friends who would let you borrow toys, goodwill/thrift store, etc.) or even make them. There are plenty of websites that show you how to make similar toys using things you already have (milk jugs, popsicle sticks, old magazines, etc.).

-books--Hit the library children's department and ask them to help you find book kits you didn't know exist. Like they'll have books that have little finger puppets for each character to use to tell/retell the story. DO these!! YOU can check them out! You don't have to be a teacher and they aren't restricted. You just have to know to ask. Look for books with repeated elements. Find a book that works and then ask them to help you find more at that level. If you want to use the book to target a skill (counting, retelling, whatever), then drop the level of the book. And all this should just be very casual, PLAY. But it's very telling how she interacts with books, so read books together and interact together about them.  

-Hanen It Takes Two or the Play Project book--Your library might have these. Just something to get you going on how to play intentionally together to build skills.

-EI=early intervention eval--if you have ANY question about whether something is up developmentally, you can call them and screenings. There is zero benefit to waiting if you think something is going on, and you should always trust your mother gut. 

She's not too young to have her vision evaled, and I always recommend you do that basic vision eval with a developmental optometrist. They have extra training to catch developmental vision issues like convergence. Sometimes the dc turns out to need glasses or have a hearing issue that needs attention. There's no need to blow off your gut or say oh just wait. If your anxiety is up, cover these basics, make sure things in order developmentally and with vision, etc. And if she's ticking all the boxes, there are no red flags developmentally, vision/hearing are fine, EI say she's fine per their checklists, etc. etc. just go forward with your PLAY. Because really, even if she's not fine, even if there's something going on (I don't know, dyslexia, whatever), you're still going to PLAY.

Edited March 10, 2021 by PeterPan

[PeterPan]

21 hours ago, F W said:

I tried counting giraffes on her playmat last night after reading everyone's advice, poker cards that she was playing with, and fish from a fishing game, and she was completely avoidant of that too. 

Does she avoid other things? If it's something that gets her what she WANTS does she participate? Like if you put out m&ms or cookies and say you get 3, I get 3, then does she participate? If you josh her and say No Mommy gets 4, Suzie gets 1, does she get it and push back?

Edited March 10, 2021 by PeterPan

[MotherGoose]

Gently, she is a baby. Please just stop counting anything at all for a bit. If she is not interested, drop it. In a few days or weeks you will probably see that she starts talking about counting and trying to count things again. But like others said, use real objects in a natural context, and say, count the forks for dinner and then move on with life. She will get it when she is ready, and it’s totally normal to find counting confusing at 3. It will be okay. Also rattling off 1-10 just means she can recite 1-10 like she can recite a song. It will come, I promise. (Mom of 3 and I recall going through something similar with my oldest ones). 

[Ellie]

Counting is something you do with a child as part of life, not something that you have to teach a three-year-old as an official lesson. If she is showing "aversion," it is because you are doing something which is not age appropriate.

Parents have been teaching their children to count for eons, long before there was even such a thing as a "lesson."

[drjuliadc]

Double post

Edited March 25, 2021 by drjuliadc

[drjuliadc]

I had a boatload of fun teaching even my babies anything. I persisted in anything that they seemed to like and didn’t keep on doing anything they didn’t like. I didn’t teach my twins to count though, my nanny taught them. As soon as they started going up or down stairs, she counted out loud as they went.

I didn’t even know she did it until my sister said, “The twins can count up to 20.” They were 18 months old. 

My MIL taught them how to show their age with fingers and how to hold up how many fingers up to five. They were three or older and I was thinking, “I never thought to teach them that, but what a great thing to teach them.”

The only thing that makes something inappropriate for very young ages is requiring output. All of my early teaching was input. 

If a very young child wanted to do a worksheet, I would let them though. Anything that is output, I would let them do if it was their idea. My daughter likes output. When her older brothers did school when she was 4 she just went over to the books and picked out all the subjects they did and did them herself. Every Single Time. If there wasn’t a teacher available she would figure out how to do it independently.  I repeatedly told her that she was four and she didn’t have to do school. She wanted to check off the little check boxes like her big brothers had. 

Her boy twin did none of that, although academically superior to her. 

Edited March 24, 2021 by drjuliadc