Do you think social media allows us to see a person's worse side and what effect is that having on society if so?

[Momto6inIN]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

I had a long post reply to you but I accidentally wonked my post and I can’t get it back now. 

Suffice it for the moment to say, I agree, POC do sometimes criticize this. I don’t think that’s a reason to say nothing, though; it’s a reason to make sure you *aren’t* offering nothing but glib posts that cost you nothing. 

I guess where I get confused is that I've heard POC say they don't want me, as a white woman, commenting or posting period, even in support. Because that makes it all about me and my opinions, when in fact it is an issue for POC and their feelings only. I have read (can't remember where) that they want me to harness my privilege in order to effect social change by taking down the power structure from within, but that I should be content to do that quietly and not get any "social virtue mileage" out of it, so to speak, by posting about it on SM and getting accolades for how woke I am.

I'm with you, Quill, I want to help. I want to do something real and tangible. I do genuinely get confused about what the best way to do that is, especially because I am white. But I'm really not sure that criticizing what people do or don't post on SM and/or arguing with their posts and pointing out their inconsistencies without having a real life conversation counts as real and tangible. I don't think that is going to do anything except polarize people further.

[G5052]

9 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

I do agree that no one spouts nasty comments about particular groups in the heat of the moment if they don't really think that-that comes from what lies deep down in their hearts.

There's always a degree of separation/detachment when posting, but few people have the awareness and self-discipline to read other people's posts with a degree of separation/detachment.  I don't know what the psychological explanation for it is.  My guess is many have that personality trait/family culture/social norm that makes them incapable of not taking things personally. All disagreements are perceived as personal attacks by them and the only response options they seem to take are fight or flight.

We're also living in a world of idealism (our business and political world have been  dominated by Baby Boomers who are every much, as a whole, idealists unlike Gen X, for example) which makes people perceive every proposed policy or idea as either critical to the continuation of a functioning society or a threat that, if implemented, will literally bring about the end of the world as we know it. 

 

So many insightful things here. I actually saved what I pasted above to share with my college kids. Thank you. 

You are right that ugly has to come from somewhere. It's just shocking to me at times. I admit that I've been brutal on Facebook about unfollowing people though, and that helps.

I also think that some of the issue Boomers have is that the world has indeed changed so very much, and there's some rigidity of belief that it has to be the way it was for them to be good. Well, it's just not going to work like that. Society was already rapidly changing, and then the virus and the protests are rocking our beliefs and politics in ways not dissimilar to the 1960's. Unless you have a fundamental belief that things will generally work out and there are good people everywhere, it's upsetting. 

 

[Corraleno]

20 hours ago, BusyMom5 said:

I was reading about this earlier, and it rubs me the wrong way.  I know at 16, 17, 18, even 20- we think kids should stop and think before posting, but they don't.  What lesson did we teach by banning them from college?  I have been after my kids as soon as they were allowed social media to NEVER post anything controversial.  No matter if they are agreeing or disagreeing, just do not go there!  They know that an employer, land lord, and apparently now college boards will look.  I happen to have several teens on my FB feed, friends of my kids and they have been posting away.  Do you know what bothers me the most about these shares?  The fact that I know there will be several of them that change their views in the next 3-5 years, and here is this evidence of their views as an ignorant teen.  Embarassing!  I know my views as a teen are not the same as they are now, as an adult.  My own experiences have shaped me, reading from other viewpoints, just brain maturity!  Do any of us really want to go back and think like we did at 18?  Did we not think stupid things?  Hurtful things?  Did we lack the maturity to see how our words and actions hurt others?  Did we really understand how big issues like poverty, healthcare, or foodstamps work? I don't know what the answer is, but this feels much like censorship.  If you don't agree with the current trend, you are not allowed in.  I am not saying I agree that the teens should be posting hurtful, racist remarks.  I even feel they should get punishment (maybe be required to take a civil rights class their first semester?), but outright banning them from the university just feels like a step in the wrong direction.  IF they goal is to teach, then teach.  These are young, impressionable kids.  As I tell mine, they aren't allowed to have a qualified opinion on many topics yet b/c they are not of the age to really understand those issues.

 

Why should colleges be obligated to "teach" racists, in the gentlest way possible, that racism is wrong? How is that even a thing that people need to be "taught"??? I may have said and done some stupid things as an 18 yr old, but spouting racist ideas sure as hell wasn't one of them.  Not-being-a-racist is not just "a current trend" that some people haven't caught up with yet, and losing the right to attend one specific college is not "censorship." People have every right to express their racist views, but other people (including college administrators) have every right to decide they don't want racists in their community.

The whole "benefit of the doubt" thing applied to racism really bugs me. Young people who post racist ideas should be given the benefit of the doubt because they're young and "don't know any better," and old people should get the benefit of the doubt because "they grew up in a different era," and middle-aged people should be given the benefit of the doubt because "they're probably good people who just need their worldview broadened a bit." In a society where a black child playing with a toy gun in a park, and a black woman looking out her bedroom window, and a black man watching TV in his own damn home, are literally shot on sight, claiming that white racists deserve "the benefit of the doubt" and gentle persuasion and "lessons" taught with patience by POC is just way beyond tone deaf.

[TCB]

9 minutes ago, Corraleno said:

 

Why should colleges be obligated to "teach" racists, in the gentlest way possible, that racism is wrong? How is that even a thing that people need to be "taught"??? I may have said and done some stupid things as an 18 yr old, but spouting racist ideas sure as hell wasn't one of them.  Not-being-a-racist is not just "a current trend" that some people haven't caught up with yet, and losing the right to attend one specific college is not "censorship." People have every right to express their racist views, but other people (including college administrators) have every right to decide they don't want racists in their community.

The whole "benefit of the doubt" thing applied to racism really bugs me. Young people who post racist ideas should be given the benefit of the doubt because they're young and "don't know any better," and old people should get the benefit of the doubt because "they grew up in a different era," and middle-aged people should be given the benefit of the doubt because "they're probably good people who just need their worldview broadened a bit." In a society where a black child playing with a toy gun in a park, and a black woman looking out her bedroom window, and a black man watching TV in his own damn home, are literally shot on sight, claiming that white racists deserve "the benefit of the doubt" and gentle persuasion and "lessons" taught with patience by POC is just way beyond tone deaf.

I don't disagree with you, but I also think that people can change and that sometimes they get caught up in things without really thinking about it, peer pressure or group pressure. I live in a place where many, many people are very similar to each other in experiences and beliefs and I can easily see a young person just absorb those beliefs without really thinking about them for themselves. I hope that they can grow and change.

[Scarlett]

2 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

 

And this is why SM is so different for me. I existed in primarily white spaces, had primarily white classmates, and had primarily white friends for most of my early years. Most of the white people I'm FB 'friends' with are acquaintances from work or childhood. Some of them are slowly creeping into the friend category. NOT ALL. I've never posted things for validation. THEY SOUGHT ME OUT, not the other way around, largely I think to see if what they remember about our relationships is accurate. The high school classmates I had in Arkansas are still strangers to me and, I imagine, are on a completely different end of the political spectrum. They benefitted from a system that did its damnedest to break me down in very real and specific ways. I can count on whatever I say (my truths) being offensive to a good chunk of those people--especially the law-professor father of my old elementary classmate (both my mother and I attended the law school where he was a professor). They had no idea how their experiences differed from my own and they lived 10 minutes from us. They are still on my FB tho, still listening, and I admire that to some degree. So as long as they're there, they might as well know what I thought then and feel today.

Ok so since I was raised up in AR, I totally want to see your FB.  😉

[Sneezyone]

10 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Ok so since I was raised up in AR, I totally want to see your FB.  😉

 

Ha, you won't find n'an one of 'em. As I said, they're strangers to me. They treated me as such from the time I got there until the time I graduated b/c, quite frankly, I was a threat. As a NM contender and SF, they were afraid I'd take from them. The high school counselor for my grade, in particular, was a raging closet racist. FHS-East, when I attended, was DEEPLY segregated with me and the Brummer twins being the only black students among 2000K pupils in AP classes. Their father was a professor at the law school. They were also, deeply, self-hating and prejudiced. The fact that I didn't follow in their footsteps as a 'good black' was deeply troubling.

Edited June 9, 2020 by Sneezyone

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

 

Ha, you won't find n'an one of 'em. As I said, they're strangers to me. They treated me as such from the time I got there until the time I graduated. The high school counselor for my grade, in particular, was a raging closet racist. FHS-East, when I attended, was DEEPLY segregated with me and the Brummer twins being the only black students among 2000K pupils in AP classes. Their father was a professor at the law school. They were also, deeply, self-hating and prejudiced. The fact that I didn't follow in their footsteps as a 'good black' was deeply troubling.

Well I can tell you that was how it was when I was being raised up and I suspect how they all still are.  But I am not in their world either.   My mother was raised up that way....I would say they were not a mean family but definitely felt races shouldn’t mix especially /mostly for marriage.  My mom though....she made her own way and thought for herself and she raised us completely different.  

[Sneezyone]

26 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Well I can tell you that was how it was when I was being raised up and I suspect how they all still are.  But I am not in their world either.   My mother was raised up that way....I would say they were not a mean family but definitely felt races shouldn’t mix especially /mostly for marriage.  My mom though....she made her own way and thought for herself and she raised us completely different.  

 

It was a very hard time for me. People were telling me that it was a very progressive place. Meanwhile, Nolan Richardson (basketball hall of fame'r) was being pilloried and my school counselor was refusing to provide a college recommendation for 'SC (without informing me/my mother of this choice). It was awful. The Brummer family was used as a recruiting tool by Walmart but, once I actually met them, it was abundantly clear to me that these were not my kind of people. These were Lawrence Otis Graham people, deeply deluded.

Edited June 9, 2020 by Sneezyone

[hs03842]

-

Edited December 9, 2020 by JoyKM

[Momto6inIN]

I've been thinking a lot about the OP's question and I think it boils down to the fact that we all, white or POC, liberal or conservative, and me included, have this mistaken idea in our heads that social media is somehow a reflection of our real lives. I mean, we communicate with people via it, we put it in front of our eyes all the live long day, and we think about it when it's not in front of our eyes, it influences our opinions and buying habits, etc. Social media is certainly a force to be reckoned with.

But it's not a reflection of our real lives. Not really. It's a carefully (or not) curated and crafted slice of our reactions to stimuli put in front of our eyes by algorithms in a computer program somewhere. We tell ourselves that we know it's not reality, yet we tend to give it waaaaaaay more importance than it deserves. And now we're starting to think that people we've known and interacted with for years in real life were pretending all this time and are just now showing us their "real" selves on SM? I think that's backwards thinking.

I'm not saying people shouldn't be held responsible for their SM choices. But I am saying that if people looked solely at my SM accounts, they would have an incomplete picture of me as a human being, and I'm pretty sure the same is true with all of you, too. So I think it would be good and kind if we all remembered that when we see something on SM that makes us think badly about someone, whether it's about coronavirus or politics or race or religion or educational choices or whatever.

[SKL]

Yeah I have one fb friend who gets pretty passionate [not ideologically extreme or mean] on fb.  I really don't believe she communicates like this in real life.  She has a respectable job, a well-loved kid with many special needs, and lots of friends.  On fb she cusses and says she doesn't give a [****] what anyone thinks of her opinion, but I don't see how she'd keep a job if she was like that all day long.  😛  I do think her posts reflect her beliefs and the things she cares about, which is different from reflecting her personality.

 

[Soror]

1 hour ago, JoyKM said:

Not much can be done on a large scale. Social media has already established itself as a personal soapbox, complaining site or public tantrum zone for many people (I have been guilty of this, too, to my chagrin). Several platforms are in decline because of this.  All you can do is moderate your own usage habits so that you can still look those you know who make ill-advised posts in the eye IRL.  What I had to do specifically with Facebook is change the entire purpose I used it for.  It is now specifically used to receive announcements from community level groups.  Moms’ groups, co-ops, etc. are muted and viewed when I have time to read all of the info. To shift to that:  I completely stopped making personal posts, responding to anyone else’s personal posts, and unfollowed every single “friend” on my list—even family/close friends—so that I never see anyone’s personal posts ever. I deleted all of my old posts and comments on other people’s posts so as to have no cringe level posts/comments come back on me. If I want to share pictures I send them to a text group of only family members. If I want to see what’s going on with a friend I use FB messenger or text. Then I chose five or so organizations—church, library, local nonprofits, etc.—and followed them to receive basic, cheery announcements about what’s going on.  Facebook is no longer a place to troll through people’s personal posts and waste a lot of time on social club/group pages. It’s a place to get benign information from community groups, use the FB messenger and occasionally check in with groups that rely on FB for organizing. 

That is where I'm at. I rarely am on. I stopped posting in Feb. when I gave it up for Lent. I think SM is fundamentally flawed. I have been on here and there since Lent finished ( mostly for specific reasons like posting things for sale or looking for them) but regret it every time. I know for some it is a happy place but it isn't for me it brings out the worst in people far too often people say things like hey never would to anyone's face. People espouse Christianity yet show little humility, patience, or grace ( and that goes for people of every stripe). 

[Terabith]

9 hours ago, Scarlett said:

 I never even noticed political stuff from her until the last 4 years.  
 

I mean, there were some pretty big changes four years ago....

[LMD]

5 hours ago, HeighHo said:

Original ?:  No, the worst things happen when a person thinks no one is observing their interaction with their chosen victim. 

SM is public record...most people I know will happily engage in discussing what they post - FB just gives them a wider audience then, say, a BBQ.  Both are places where they control who is invited to listen, what is presented, and who they will engage with. I have very much enjoyed the people who post and speak thoughtfully.

 Effect on society of SM:  all the world is a stage. The receiver chooses what to pay attention to and what to engage with.

I agree with the bold. And when all your world is a stage, all you do/post is a performance. Designed to elicit applause from your audience - who are also performing on their stages. No wonder no one is listening to anyone else. 

Unless you tweet something 'controversial' - then they still won't listen, but they'll performatively castigate with glee!

[Meriwether]

I was reading a post yesterday and a group of people were referring to someone else as a garbage person. Garbage. (Not race related.) Yeah, I think it brings out the worst in people, especially because it tends to create echo chambers. I rarely post anything political or controversial and always regret it when I do. I also rarely post about issues that mean the most to me. I talk about education a lot, because I care but not too much. I'm sure I have been judged these past couple of weeks, but I am past worrying about it. I am far from perfect, but I try to do good to all people. And I feel like now is a good time to invest more of my energy in the people of my physical community. And the deep discussions I am having these days, I am having with my kids.

[Shoeless]

14 hours ago, Quill said:

That’s not the case with many - or most - people on my feed who are making statements for racial justice. Some of them are business owners and part of their purpose for having a SM presence is visibility for their business. I reckon it costs them much to make a strong public statement because believe me, some people will punish them for it. 

I was watching my (white) pastor speak about this topic online to our (almost entirely white) church. In the comments, during a live service, one person was complaining about how it was a bunch of “liberal bs”. There is not a shred of doubt in my mind that this week, my pastor is getting a flood of emails or possibly phone calls - some are probably thanking him for speaking openly about racial injustice - but others, no doubt, who are mad he said that. I have no doubt it costs him something to take a position for justice. 

I agree that there is such a thing as a danger in just putting up some feel-good meme and then wiping one’s hands together - “Welp! That’s that!” Does that sometimes happen? Yes. But what happens more is people don’t know what they can do to help so they do nothing at all. And if people do not make their views known on FB at least, silence will be assumed to be agreement. I just made a private FB group where we, a bunch of ordinary white folks, can discuss what we can do, what we should read, how we can talk to our racist Uncle Bob or our neighbor who says something gross at a pool party. I chose these people for this private group because I know from the bottom of my heart, without a doubt n my head, where they stand on racial justice, and the reason I know is because they post it on FB. I do have other nice friends who probably believe in racial justice, but they never speak up; they won’t rock the boat or be the slightest bit controversial because it will cost them too much. I didn’t choose those people for my Dumbledore’s Army, lol. I have to know they want to see change. 

 

I'm thinking of some specific people on my feed whose posts on social justice issue seem more like trend-following. The only time you ever heard them speak out about it is when it's prominent in the news.  They come across as consumers of social justice media rather than participants in social justice. These are not people who ever speak up when someone near them behaves egregiously.  They look the other way and pretend it's not happening, but then go on social media to lecture and scold about how "We need to do better!" Sounds good, when would you like to start? 

As for people making assumptions about me because I do not post about social justice issues on facebook, well, all I can say is that if someone really does not know my stance on a given issue, then either they don't know me very well (and need to exit my feed), or I've been living my life entirely wrong.  Social media does not represent the vast majority of my life.  

Edited June 10, 2020 by MissLemon

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

I guess where I get confused is that I've heard POC say they don't want me, as a white woman, commenting or posting period, even in support. Because that makes it all about me and my opinions, when in fact it is an issue for POC and their feelings only. I have read (can't remember where) that they want me to harness my privilege in order to effect social change by taking down the power structure from within, but that I should be content to do that quietly and not get any "social virtue mileage" out of it, so to speak, by posting about it on SM and getting accolades for how woke I am.

I'm with you, Quill, I want to help. I want to do something real and tangible. I do genuinely get confused about what the best way to do that is, especially because I am white. But I'm really not sure that criticizing what people do or don't post on SM and/or arguing with their posts and pointing out their inconsistencies without having a real life conversation counts as real and tangible. I don't think that is going to do anything except polarize people further.

I hear you on that. I have been confused about this issue, too. But I think, for me, it’s like Pam in CT said: We just have to give it a try, be willing to do it wrong, be willing to falter, to mess up, to step in it by mistake. 

I have a (white) friend who does post supportive stuff on FB, both for racial minorities and for LGBTQ people, but honestly, something about her posts is very irritating to me - and I’m white and straight! She really does have something about her posts that goes traveling right past advocacy and rather looks like basking in reflected glory. So to me, it is instructive and when I read her things I just think, “not that.” 

I do think criticizing or arguing with people on SM is not my plan. For starters, I don’t have time to bother with that. But I am trying to harness the benefits of SM to really do some good. I am working with my little private group of people working for good and we are sharing stuff. It makes me feel hopeful and gives me pleasure. One friend was sharing information about curriculum changes at our school system. Many are sharing articles, videos, books and resources. 

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, MissLemon said:

 

I'm thinking of some specific people on my feed whose posts on social justice issue seem more like trend-following. The only time you ever heard them speak out about it is when it's prominent in the news.  They come across as consumers of social justice media rather than participants in social justice. These are not people who ever speak up when someone near them behaves egregiously.  They look the other way and pretend it's not happening, but then go on social media to lecture and scold about how "We need to do better!" Sounds good, when would you like to start? 

As for people making assumptions about me because I do not post about social justice issues on facebook, well, all I can say is that if someone really does not know my stance on a given issue, then either they don't know me very well (and need to exit my feed), or I've been living my life entirely wrong.  Social media does not represent the vast majority of my life.  

Yeah, I get that. I really only have one FB friend who seems to do that (see in my post just above). I am not a big fan of the FB profile templates, for example. There is a BLM one right now and there was a Safe at Home one for COVID. And I found it annoying when the Charlie Hebdo terrorist attack happened in Paris and “everybody” changed their profile to the French flag. 🙄 The bad thing about changing your profile for those things is that, eventually, you have to change it back or change it to something else, so then it seems like you are dropping that issue and no longer care. 

Your second paragraph is not quite what I mean. I know some friends who just resolutely never say where they stand on any issue. I guess that’s a good way to be certain you don’t upset anybody ever, but I feel like I don’t know them, ever if they are actual friends I see IRL with regularity. They just never say anything or post anything that could be seen as controversial or political. I just think it’s a bit of a shame because I don’t feel there’s anything meaningful about being friends with those ladies. I think for me friendship just really has to have discussion of things we find important. Else it’s just getting ice cream cones together now and then. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Scarlett]

6 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

 

It was a very hard time for me. People were telling me that it was a very progressive place. Meanwhile, Nolan Richardson (basketball hall of fame'r) was being pilloried and my school counselor was refusing to provide a college recommendation for 'SC (without informing me/my mother of this choice). It was awful. The Brummer family was used as a recruiting tool by Walmart but, once I actually met them, it was abundantly clear to me that these were not my kind of people. These were Lawrence Otis Graham people, deeply deluded.

I am sure it was progressive for AR.  I have been to many a game when Nolan was coach.  So many good memories.  Not sure what you mean by him being mistreated.  I guess no one in my world was openly being a racist about him, though I don’t doubt what you are saying. 

The  Brummers I have never heard of.  But I didn’t live there or go to school there.  I was from a very small town a few hundred miles away.  
 

[Scarlett]

3 hours ago, Terabith said:

I mean, there were some pretty big changes four years ago....

Obviously.  But what happened to her that made a political candidate suddenly feel like someone she wanted to support so strongly when previously she had not been political at all?  She had been a single mom at one time with a loser cheating husband....she had been in need of help.  And suddenly she is spouting off about people living off the government as if she has lost all sense of the compassion and kindness I once felt she possessed.  

[HeartString]

Nm

Edited June 10, 2020 by Cnew02

[Shoeless]

2 hours ago, Quill said:

Your second paragraph is not quite what I mean. I know some friends who just resolutely never say where they stand on any issue. I guess that’s a good way to be certain you don’t upset anybody ever, but I feel like I don’t know them, ever if they are actual friends I see IRL with regularity. They just never say anything or post anything that could be seen as controversial or political. I just think it’s a bit of a shame because I don’t feel there’s anything meaningful about being friends with those ladies. I think for me friendship just really has to have discussion of things we find important. Else it’s just getting ice cream cones together now and then. 🤷🏻‍♀️

 

Ah, I know some of those ladies. I think of them as "Nice", with a capital "N", because they never ever say or do anything that could be construed negatively.  It is a very superficial sort of friendship.  I really couldn't tell you about anything they like or enjoy, now that I think about it. 😕 

[Sneezyone]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Obviously.  But what happened to her that made a political candidate suddenly feel like someone she wanted to support so strongly when previously she had not been political at all?  She had been a single mom at one time with a loser cheating husband....she had been in need of help.  And suddenly she is spouting off about people living off the government as if she has lost all sense of the compassion and kindness I once felt she possessed.  

 

The last presidential election validated a lot of of people who previously held those feelings in confidence. They envisioned themselves as THE majority.

[Sneezyone]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

I am sure it was progressive for AR.  I have been to many a game when Nolan was coach.  So many good memories.  Not sure what you mean by him being mistreated.  I guess no one in my world was openly being a racist about him, though I don’t doubt what you are saying. 

The  Brummers I have never heard of.  But I didn’t live there or go to school there.  I was from a very small town a few hundred miles away.  
 

 

Oh, WRT to Nolan, it was BAAAAD. https://www.espn.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/13814160/former-arkansas-coach-nolan-richardson-years-anger-softened So many ugly things were said in/around Fayetteville. I remember being on the bus and traveling to Ft. Smith and Springdale for football games and the coaches would warn us all not to react to racial taunts and slurs. This was 1992-4.

Edited June 10, 2020 by Sneezyone

[Scarlett]

18 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

 

Oh, WRT to Nolan, it was BAAAAD. https://www.espn.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/13814160/former-arkansas-coach-nolan-richardson-years-anger-softened So many ugly things were said in/around Fayetteville. I remember being on the bus and traveling to Ft. Smith and Springdale for football games and the coaches would warn us all not to react to racial taunts and slurs. This was 1992-4.

Ok, things are coming back to me.....I just loved the game, 94 was national championship.... I I do recall asking my xh, why is he so angry acting...and hearing some comment about  him having a chip on his shoulder.  
i do remember that I was very very confused when he was fired.  But by then I had a 4 year old and had not been to a game in several year and felt very out of the loop.

[Sneezyone]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Ok, things are coming back to me.....I just loved the game, 94 was national championship.... I I do recall asking my xh, why is he so angry acting...and hearing some comment about  him having a chip on his shoulder.  
i do remember that I was very very confused when he was fired.  But by then I had a 4 year old and had not been to a game in several year and felt very out of the loop.

 

He wanted to be paid commensurate with his achievements. That was the *CHIP*. It never happened.

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

 

He wanted to be paid commensurate with his achievements. That was the *CHIP*. It never happened.

Ahhh.....I do remember talk about how much he was being paid and why was he wanting more......I admit I felt like he was making a ton of money.....but I have no memory of how it was compared to the rest of the world.  

You  are bringing back so many memories!

Edited June 10, 2020 by Scarlett

[Sneezyone]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Ahhh.....I do remember talk about how much he was being paid and why was he wanting more......I admit I felt like he was making a ton of money.....but I have no memory of how it was compared to the rest of the world.  

You  are bringing back so many memories!

 

FHS was practically connected at the hip to UA and I had classes there as a Junior and senior. It was the talk of the BLACK town that Houston Nutt was paid WAAAAAYYY more than Nolan Richardson and never won a championship of any kind, not the SEC, and not a national one.

[Scarlett]

6 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

 

FHS was practically connected at the hip to UA and I had classes there as a Junior and senior. It was the talk of the BLACK town that Houston Nutt was paid WAAAAAYYY more than Nolan Richardson and never won a championship of any kind, not the SEC, and not a national one.

I do remember that Nolan won 3 different championships. 

[Sneezyone]

11 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I do remember that Nolan won 3 different championships. 

 

None of it has aged well. My former boss's spouse (really GOOD man) is now a UA trustee. I hope and pray they're better now but my experience in the area made me cross all such institutions off of my kids' college lists eons ago. I have too many bad memories.

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

 

None of it has aged well. My former boss's spouse (really GOOD man) is now a UA trustee. I hope and pray they're better now but my experience in the area made me cross all such institutions off of my kids' college lists eons ago. I have too many bad memories.

Interesting.  It is a highly respected college.  My xh lives up I that area now and tried to get ds20 to transfer to the University....

[Sneezyone]

33 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Interesting.  It is a highly respected college.  My xh lives up I that area now and tried to get ds20 to transfer to the University....

 

I am technically still a state resident but, nope, never gonna happen. Too many scars. I don't want that for my kids. It was the kinda place then, and I imagine so today, where black people would nod at me as I walked by in acknowledgment and solidarity. That only happens when there are not enough of you to feel safe and you have to stick together. Nope, nope, nope.

Edited June 10, 2020 by Sneezyone

[Scarlett]

1 minute ago, Sneezyone said:

 

I am technically still a state resident but, nope, never gonna happen. Too many scars. I don't want that for my kids. It was the kinda place then, and I imagine so today, where black people would nod at me as I walked passed in acknowledgment and solidarity. That only happens when there are not enough of you to feel safe and you have to stick together. Nope, nope, nope.

Still a state resident?  Hmm.....

[Sneezyone]

15 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Still a state resident?  Hmm.....

 

Yep. DH enlisted from there after we married so my residency remains AR. I've considered changing it back to my original home state or my current state but can't quite figure out how to do that without issues. I never owe any taxes anyway (I FILE) b/c our house there is a net negative. We also still have family there so it's hard to completely cut ties. I invested a lot of time in that state in improving rural broadband access. Ultimately, Asa chose to go with a strictly private solution that didn't do what the 'public option' would have. It's sad looking back and knowing how following our recommendations could have positioned the state to thrive during this pandemic. Oh well. If I never see another contemptuous and ignorant legislator across the table from me, I will die a happy woman.

Edited June 10, 2020 by Sneezyone