"relationship with food"

[SKL]

2 hours ago, regentrude said:

See, the bolded is what I don't get. What mountains of food do people make that require cooking all day long? We start cooking after breakfast on Thanksgiving day and are ready to eat at 1pm. That's turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, Brussel sprouts with maple glazed pecans, celeriac root puree,  red cabbage, apple pie, blackberry crumble. Enough food to feed 11 people and have leftovers. 4 hours start to finish.

ETA: This year we did a couple London broil and a turkey breast instead of the turkey, and that freed up enough time to go for an hour walk from 10 to 11, after the pie came out of the oven.

My folks always make a big turkey which cooks for about 6 hours after being prepped with homemade dressing etc.  My dad then makes "giblet gravy" using the grease from the baked turkey.  Sides at a minimum include mashed potatoes, mashed yams, and several baked dishes.  Pumpkin pies and jell-o desserts are made the night before.  Cleaning the house for a big group to come and eat is also a lot of work for them at their age.  My dad hurts himself every time.  My sister helps with the cooking, and my mom presides over some of it (her back is very bad so she can't lift anything), but it is still a lot for my dad.

"Why don't you make a smaller turkey" might be a reasonable question.  But my dad's answer is that he likes turkey sandwiches after the holiday.  If he doesn't make a big turkey, there's none left for sandwiches.

Yes, I know it's just once a year and all that.  But old folks do have limitations.

ETA and my folks certainly know how to cook and bake - they have both done their share of interesting cooking day in and day out when their physical situation was better.

And I agree that clean up after is quite a job too.  Of course we help do that, but old folks are set in their ways and they won't just sit back and let the young folks rearrange their kitchen.  😛

Edited November 28, 2018 by SKL

[TechWife]

On 11/27/2018 at 7:59 AM, regentrude said:

I am curious, so here is a question for those who consider food=fuel: do you entertain a lot? (I would expect people who entertain frequently to view food differently, but maybe I am wrong)

Not really - we host a large get together approximately every two years. Our circle of friends takes turns hosting and that's about how frequently we pitch in. Some host more frequently than others. But, our gatherings are more often covered dish than not.

I'll host a baby shower or other special event once in a blue moon. I love creating special experiences for special events. Often food is a small part of that, it's the special event itself that gets the focus. A few years ago I hosted a baby shower for a friend who was expecting her first. She had a Winnie the Pooh themed nursery, so I did a 100 Acre Woods baby shower for her. I thoroughly enjoyed approaching the whole experience of a baby shower from that theme and even the food reflected the theme to some degree. But, the food wasn't my primary concern or focus. I made the snack food and purchased a fruit tart, so it isn't a matter of not wanting to or knowing how to do that. It was creating the woodsy atmosphere, the pooh trivia, making sure our expectant mama had a comfy place to sit and that we pampered her throughout the afternoon, that we showered her with love and practical gifts that made the experience for me.

 

 

[TechWife]

3 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I make many mountains of holiday food. 

Why? Why aren’t normal amounts of food sufficient? Do you mean you cook for more people so your quantity is larger? I’m my experience larger quantities of the same food don’t take that much longer than a smaller quantity. Do you cook more dishes than at a normal meal? Just curious. 

This year we had our entire Thanksgiving dinner in the oven at the same time. It all came out fabulously. Turkey, Brussel sprouts, whole sweet potatoes, Dressing and cranberry sauce. We could have had more food if we had more people, but the cooking time only would have changed because the size of the turkey would change.We would have added the other dishes to the oven after the turkey was partially done. 

[Carrie12345]

54 minutes ago, TechWife said:

Why? Why aren’t normal amounts of food sufficient? Do you mean you cook for more people so your quantity is larger? I’m my experience larger quantities of the same food don’t take that much longer than a smaller quantity. Do you cook more dishes than at a normal meal? Just curious. 

This year we had our entire Thanksgiving dinner in the oven at the same time. It all came out fabulously. Turkey, Brussel sprouts, whole sweet potatoes, Dressing and cranberry sauce. We could have had more food if we had more people, but the cooking time only would have changed because the size of the turkey would change.We would have added the other dishes to the oven after the turkey was partially done. 

Because I don’t want “normal” amounts of food for holidays. I grew up in a family that went all out, and so did dh. We like all the trimmings. 

Well, we each like some of the trimmings. 7 palettes make for lots of different things. 

It’s weird to me that anyone would think it’s weird to have lots of different food for a holiday. 

[HomeAgain]

6 hours ago, regentrude said:

See, the bolded is what I don't get. What mountains of food do people make that require cooking all day long? We start cooking after breakfast on Thanksgiving day and are ready to eat at 1pm. That's turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, Brussel sprouts with maple glazed pecans, celeriac root puree,  red cabbage, apple pie, blackberry crumble (ETA: and of course cranberry sauce - how could I forget. The bread I baked the night before, so didn't include in list). Enough food to feed 11 people and have leftovers. 4 hours start to finish.

ETA: This year we did a couple London broil and a turkey breast instead of the turkey, and that freed up enough time to go for an hour walk from 10 to 11, after the pie came out of the oven.

We do not cook mountains, but let me share dh's optimal holiday menu:
Turkey: brined overnight, then smoked for several hours.
Twice baked sweet potatoes: cooked in the morning, scooped out, mashed with a cheese/herb mixture and rebaked.
Cranberry sauce: starting with whole berries and simmered with rosemary, orange zest, chicken stock..probably other stuff I forget on the back of the stove
Pot de creme: takes him about an hour, before chilling.
Raspberry sauce for the pot de creme: I have no idea

And more.  My job is to mostly wash the dishes, prep the ingredients, and put things away. The man will cook all day.  And he will cook well.  And it will be amazing, if I nudge him on timing so that he isn't starting the green beans an hour before the turkey is done.  It's not a mountain of food, but it is definitely time intensive stuff.  One year he did a several course meal, starting with Julia Child's French onion soup and culminating with a light mousse.  He just likes to cook.  And I like to eat, so we make a good pair. 😄

[TechWife]

1 minute ago, Carrie12345 said:

Because I don’t want “normal” amounts of food for holidays. I grew up in a family that went all out, and so did dh. We like all the trimmings. 

Well, we each like some of the trimmings. 7 palettes make for lots of different things. 

It’s weird to me that anyone would think it’s weird to have lots of different food for a holiday. 

It's not weird - a lot of people do it. I didn't say it's weird. It's just not necessary. If it's an important part of your family celebration, that's fine, of course.

[KathyBC]

1 hour ago, TechWife said:

Why? Why aren’t normal amounts of food sufficient?

Leftovers!!! Cook one big meal, have many smaller spin-off meals.

[Moonhawk]

I know I have a relationship with food. We even have a Facebook status, "It's complicated."

[Moonhawk]

13 hours ago, regentrude said:

I have always been puzzled about the laments regarding the Thanksgiving turkey - when it comes to feeding a large number of people, turkey is the easiest: lots of meat that cooks itself in the oven with only a few minutes hands-on time before. If you use an oven bag, it can't even dry out. If it's done too early, it can rest. Very forgiving, because a few minutes don't matter.

Just as a PSA. you can dry out an oven bag turkey. But it really takes a lot of effort, so you're right that it is forgiving for a lot of food. But yeah, some things are sad to learn the hard way. 😞 lol

2 hours ago, StellaM said:

I don't like mountains of food. I don't like eating it, I don't like seeing it, and I really don't like preparing it.

At Christmas, I'd be really happy with a plate of prawns and a bowl of cherries, with a couple of mince pies for dessert.

I think  feasting only really makes sense in societies where the rest of the time, things are pretty lean. 

We treat Thanksgiving more as the day that everyone gets at least one thing they really like, and a lot of it. Enough for leftovers. We do the traditional sides because I love stuffing and it's the one day of the day I get to have it. And cranberry sauce. DD likes mashed potatoes, and in our family we don't make it any other time. Boys like rolls and pie. DH likes salad, so we get butterleaf and all of his favorite side veggies for it. And so on for the extended family. And really, not having to cook for the rest of the weekend is my favorite part of the whole thing. 

Edited November 29, 2018 by Moonhawk

[Guest]

3 hours ago, TechWife said:

Why? Why aren’t normal amounts of food sufficient? Do you mean you cook for more people so your quantity is larger? I’m my experience larger quantities of the same food don’t take that much longer than a smaller quantity. Do you cook more dishes than at a normal meal? Just curious. 

This year we had our entire Thanksgiving dinner in the oven at the same time. It all came out fabulously. Turkey, Brussel sprouts, whole sweet potatoes, Dressing and cranberry sauce. We could have had more food if we had more people, but the cooking time only would have changed because the size of the turkey would change.We would have added the other dishes to the oven after the turkey was partially done. 

It’s a holiday meal; it’s meant to be bountiful. Thank you, God (or humanity, or whomever someone thanks for such abundance) for these great gifts. Does anybody need a plate that includes these things: turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, bread, corn risotto, stuffing, noodles and gravy, followed by one slice of the four pies on offer? No. But Thanksgiving is a celebration of abundance. It’s kind of the point. 

Every Thanksgiving meal I have ever attended had more dishes (by far) than a normal meal. As an aside, because I grew up in a biggish family and married into a big family, every TG meal I have ever attended had no less than twenty guests; twenty is on the small side when several people couldn’t come or were visiting other family. 

When I host Christmas, I make many more dishes by far than a normal meal - and this, despite the fact than most guests will contribute food. 

[LMD]

3 hours ago, StellaM said:

I don't like mountains of food. I don't like eating it, I don't like seeing it, and I really don't like preparing it.

At Christmas, I'd be really happy with a plate of prawns and a bowl of cherries, with a couple of mince pies for dessert.

I think  feasting only really makes sense in societies where the rest of the time, things are pretty lean. 

 

 

See, my relationship with food is so different that what you describe sounds sad to me. I would feel like I was withholding love from my family if that was all I served for Christmas. I get totally that that's my issue and no reflection on how you or anyone else loves their loved ones!

Incidentally, we are hosting Christmas this year. Probably 20+ people. We're doing a whole pig on a spit (amongst other things). Now, that is conjuring up whole nostalgic feelings for my dh and his family, nostalgia for his parents/grandparents and remembered feasts in their village in the old country. They are looking forward to turning the meat together and spending the time making sure it's cooked right. My father in law has already spent weeks building the perfect enclosed rotisserie oven. My dh (baker) is already planning his contributions, he feels proud to be able to serve his parents this way. Serving something special shows how special family is to us, I could serve up a big pot of spaghetti and some store bought ice cream- everyone would be fuelled and we'd still enjoy the time together, but I would feel like I hadn't made an effort to make them feel loved. And dh would feel it even more keenly.

It's not because they like the taste of roast pork so much. It's the whole experience. Food is a way to gather the clan, a way to spend time together.

[Rosie_0801]

37 minutes ago, StellaM said:

 

How do you fit in that much food ? By the time I ate some meat, potato, beans, sauce and bread, plus a piece of pie for dessert, I'd be full! Do people sort of graze through the day ?

 

Back when we had enough relatives around to make feasting a possibility, people grazed for the next three or four days.

[Carrie12345]

6 hours ago, StellaM said:

 

Don't worry, I think it's me that is weird, but I am quite honestly not remotely sad to eat prawns and cherries for Christmas lunch! 

Luckily I don't cook for the family, my parents do, so they make enough for leftovers, and multiple desserts etc. So the kids are all good, though they aren't huge feasters either.

My IL's loved us with food. I felt like I was the stuffed pig. 

 

I usually feel like the stuffed pig, too, lol. But we're talking 3 or 4 days out of the year (for me, the others go hard on leftovers) of joyous gluttony. Vs. the grossness I felt after grabbing a fast food hamburger last night. While it was within a reasonable diet for the day, it absolutely failed to provide any joy at all, lol.

[Rosie_0801]

8 minutes ago, StellaM said:

 

Oh, of course. Over days. But surely one doesn't pile a plate with that much food in one meal ?! 

 

It depends on how much of the cricket you intend to sleep through?

[Guest]

7 hours ago, StellaM said:

 

How do you fit in that much food ? By the time I ate some meat, potato, beans, sauce and bread, plus a piece of pie for dessert, I'd be full! Do people sort of graze through the day ?

Little bit of each, for me. And then turn down the pie, which makes my BIL question my eating habits. Most people eat more than usual. 

There is often some grazing, though, but I wasn’t party to that. For our TGing tradition, the guys (and sometimes a girl or two) go shoot clay pigeons and eat oysters. I don’t participate in that, for numerous reasons, but it is yet another cultural-social foos opportunity. 

[LMD]

For us, it's kind of a smorgasbord of food and people will graze all day long. We'll have people here Christmas day literally all day - sleeping over the night before and after. So lunch will be placed out and people will take a normal serve plate with a little of everything. Come back again a later to grab seconds of their favourite thing to have with a 3rd glass of wine! Everyone gathers again mid afternoon for the same routine wirh dessert.

To be fair, we work it off with nerf and/or water fights! We'll also have golf and badminton. 😁

[Pawz4me]

8 hours ago, StellaM said:

 

How do you fit in that much food ? By the time I ate some meat, potato, beans, sauce and bread, plus a piece of pie for dessert, I'd be full! Do people sort of graze through the day ?

Confession: I kind of hate food centered holidays in the same way I hate buffets. Something about the over abundance of food turns my stomach and lessens my appetite. I know--I'm weird in that regard (and I'm pretty sure it's all wrapped up in my history of ED).

But . . I think part of the idea of a big Thanksgiving meal is having something for everyone, not that everyone has to eat some of everything.

[regentrude]

8 hours ago, StellaM said:

How do you fit in that much food ? By the time I ate some meat, potato, beans, sauce and bread, plus a piece of pie for dessert, I'd be full! Do people sort of graze through the day ?

We sat down for the Thanksgiving meal at 1pm and ate main courses for two hours. You eat some, take a break, eat some more. Then I cleared and served dessert. Then coffee. The first guests rose from the table to leave at 5:30pm. The last stayed at the table until 7:30. We hardly noticed how time flew by because we had so much fun talking.

[marbel]

18 hours ago, regentrude said:

See, the bolded is what I don't get. What mountains of food do people make that require cooking all day long? We start cooking after breakfast on Thanksgiving day and are ready to eat at 1pm. That's turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, Brussel sprouts with maple glazed pecans, celeriac root puree,  red cabbage, apple pie, blackberry crumble (ETA: and of course cranberry sauce - how could I forget. The bread I baked the night before, so didn't include in list). Enough food to feed 11 people and have leftovers. 4 hours start to finish.

ETA: This year we did a couple London broil and a turkey breast instead of the turkey, and that freed up enough time to go for an hour walk from 10 to 11, after the pie came out of the oven.

There are lots of reasons.

Some cooks have more expertise than others and can do things faster.  Some have helpers, some have hindrances.

More food can require more prep time.  5# of potatoes takes longer to peel (yes I know some people don't peel) than 2#.  Chopping nuts, trimming fresh beans... 

Some people have more equipment. It adds time when, say, a saucepan is used to cook one thing, and then has to be washed out for another.  

"All day" doesn't necessarily mean from dawn to dusk  If I am prepping food for 4 hours, it feels like all day to me. I might say "all day" as a simple way to indicate I spent a lot of time in the kitchen. 

I'm sure someone can come back and refute any or all of my points with an illustration of how it works in their house, of course.  LOL

[TechWife]

2 hours ago, StellaM said:

 

I absolutely accept I'm the odd one out here, and I don't mind what other people eat at their celebrations, but I've never experienced 'joyous gluttony'. 

I’ll join you in the odd corner. 

[Valley Girl]

14 hours ago, TechWife said:

Why? Why aren’t normal amounts of food sufficient?

Normal amounts of food don't supply a day or two of leftovers (which gives everybody--especially the cook--time to relax and enjoy the holiday weekend). Holidays are the time when I want to go the extra mile and make sure everybody gets to enjoy their favorites. In some households, people don't have the same favorite dishes. We might also make once-a-year dishes that bring back special memories. So that's something extra as well.

 

[BarbecueMom]

1 hour ago, Pawz4me said:

Confession: I kind of hate food centered holidays in the same way I hate buffets. Something about the over abundance of food turns my stomach and lessens my appetite. I know--I'm weird in that regard (and I'm pretty sure it's all wrapped up in my history of ED).

But . . I think part of the idea of a big Thanksgiving meal is having something for everyone, not that everyone has to eat some of everything.

I’m the same way.  I ran to the store last night while DH and the kids were getting ready to eat dinner (I typically don’t eat in the evening) and passed by DH’s plate on the way out the door.  We made tacos, and it was a pretty typical size (for an adult male) pile of chips, beans, meat and toppings on a dinner plate... but it looked enormous to me and really unappetizing.  I took a deep breath of the cold air when I got outside to clamp down on that queasiness.  My oldest is careening toward the well-fed teenager years, and I know this is going to be a struggle for me.  My younger brother was a light eating teenager (still is), so the stereotypical teenage food vacuum is going to be a new and, for me, unpleasant experience.

I grew up in a family where people (except my brother) wore sweatpants to holiday meals so they’d be more comfortable after overeating, but I married into a family where almost everyone gets one small serving of what they like and maybe dessert, maybe not.  I prefer my in-laws way, but my mom’s family thinks it’s a bizarre way to have a holiday meal.

[SKL]

The point of the Thanksgiving meal is to be a harvest feast symbolizing all the bounty we are thankful for.  Hence it is traditionally bounteous.

Everyone eats differently.  When I was younger, I stuffed myself, but now I just take a comfortable portion of each dish and enjoy.  What doesn't get eaten gets saved for the next day / weekend.  Yum!

It also makes sense to have a lot of food because a lot of people may come over for dinner.  The more people come, the more it makes sense to have both variety and quantity.  While each individual might not eat any more than usual, it still feels nice to be around all the bounty and smell the smells.

One year my brother said he and his kids / grandkids were only coming over for pie.  The dinner was late, so they all sat down and ate.  They were over a dozen extra people.  There was not enough food for the people who were actually supposed to be fed, and obviously no leftovers.  It was the suckiest Thanksgiving ever.  It proved that there are times when it's better to prepare too much food.

Edited November 29, 2018 by SKL

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I just want to chime in on Team Joyous Gluttony. I cook simple and fast, but the quantities are there! We also have an open door on holidays. It's not time for "But I only cooked a modest and healthful meal for six. We have no spare calories here today."

We also like leftovers for the whole weekend.

A couple years ago, we had a really strange situation: No guests, and DH and most of the adult children were working all weekend. I sent a pie to the local fire department, and turkey soup and pies to a local church for their community dinner. I really enjoyed sharing! We didn't overeat all weekend. We shared.

Abundance is a GOOD word. Speaking as someone who has known lack, it's a blessing to have plenty. Mankind has feasted at harvest time since the dawn of time, all over the world. It's a community event, and a natural response to the seasonal bounty, as we are also aware of the coming days when nothing grows...those will be the days for a budgeted portion of meat, soups made from preserved foods, and a nice cup of tea.

[Carrie12345]

To the main topic again, I just joined a new FB group that I think I'm going to have to leave. There are so many ways to have "healthy relationships" with food but, when a few hundred people get thrown together to make random daily "challenges", some questionable concepts get thrown around. Like, a list of foods to avoid, labeled "bad" and "naughty".  If said in a joking manner,maybe that's not a terrible thing. I can admit I sometimes do that.  But genuinely considering chocolate to be bad and peanut butter to be naughty signifies a kind of "relationship" that I'm not comfortable with. They're just foods with their own specific nutritional profiles.

[marbel]

4 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

To the main topic again, I just joined a new FB group that I think I'm going to have to leave. There are so many ways to have "healthy relationships" with food but, when a few hundred people get thrown together to make random daily "challenges", some questionable concepts get thrown around. Like, a list of foods to avoid, labeled "bad" and "naughty".  If said in a joking manner,maybe that's not a terrible thing. I can admit I sometimes do that.  But genuinely considering chocolate to be bad and peanut butter to be naughty signifies a kind of "relationship" that I'm not comfortable with. They're just foods with their own specific nutritional profiles.

Ugh. At least the people are not labeling themselves as bad for eating them.  I hope, anyway.

I hate it when people talk about "being good" by eating, say, salad for lunch instead of a burger, and considering themselves to be bad if they eat dessert.