What would you change if you could

[lulalu]

Looking for some been there, done that advice. 

The primary years (k-2) what would do differently than you did? 

I often see people say emphasize the 3r. And just get reading well down. And then I see someone say give them a big variety of learning and experiences. And some say memorize as much as the kid can. 

 

[HomeAgain]

Nothing.

Ok, nothing this time around. ?  With the oldest I was more motivated on "doing".  With the youngest, I was more motivated on setting foundational skills in a gentle environment that supported who he was.  And I do mean foundational skills.  Not even the 3Rs, so much as

-exposure to classic stories (folk and fairy tales)

-appreciation of good music and art

-lots of different motor skill work

-slow introduction of handwriting

-lots of time outside

-exposure to various cultures

-poetry memorization

The reading, writing, and math all came steadily but not at the expense of everything else, kwim?  While we think of art and music and nature as the "gravy", I look at them as the salt.  Life needs all that seasoning to make it good and memorable.  No salt, and the meal is bland no matter how abundant it is. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Idealistically or realistically?  I think I did the best time I could each go-around with the time and other resources I had, but I had to prioritize my "ideals" with the reality I was living in....

I have come to appreciate how much strong motor skills (gross motor included!) carry over to the school.  I fundamentally believe that the primary work of young children is play, and where I can overlap the two, so much the better.  

[Sneezyone]

I would have figured out science before year 3. DD has a horrible foundation in it and I still feel guilty.

[frugalmamatx]

I wish I'd pushed more on math. DD was such a good reader that I figured the math would come in time....it hasn't. 

[EKS]

Knowing what I know now, my goals would be:

• Fluent reading
• Automatic handwriting
• Fostering a love of books 
• Enjoyment of math time
• Fostering of interest in history, geography, and science

[Targhee]

Do LESS.

yes, teach them 3Rs in a gentle way.  “Spread a feast” but don’t make them eat it all! And don’t go crazy trying to crte special educational experiences.  If your library has an event you can go, if there’s a children’s museum you can go, if there’s a zoo you can go, if there’s a fun playground you can go, if there’s a concert in the park you can go - but you don’t have to - and all of it is already there. Don’t spend your time prepping materials and lessons, spend it living with them. Have fun ?

[Stibalfamily]

I would make school a positive joyful time. DS cried through school almost everyday for a year. That was never ok, no matter what schedule, goal or milestone it is.  

[Knock]

Lined paper: we did lots of handwriting practice through play, like a waiter taking orders or helping jot down a grocery list. It took me a few kids to realize that even these things would have been better done on paper with lines. My older kids did handwriting every year as a subject, but beyond that most of their writing was on computer paper they stole from the printer drawer. They're still stealing paper from the printer drawer! And every one of them had to really work on handwriting for school work once they hit middle school and were using lined paper on a daily basis. None of them had gone to school, so I didn't even have loose lined paper around the house nor did it occur to me to buy any for our homeschool until my oldest hit middle school. (Seems so obvious now, but at the time ...)

Picture Books: my oldest taught himself to read at an early age, and I made the mistake of thinking he had graduated from PB. once he was in K-1. With subsequent children, I encouraged PB much longer, even up through elementary. It occurred to me that quality PB use a higher vocabulary and structure than some easy chapter books, especially those designed for emerging readers. I also adopted more of the FIAR approach, reading a single PB repeatedly for a time (but without doing the FIAR work) because I learned the value of repetitive readings, even though I, personally, found it to be highly annoying!

Naps: I have a big  gap between sets of kids. My older group are close in age and we napped like bosses through K-1. My younger set often napped on the go, since we were out of the house more doing sibling activities, and gave up regular napping by age 3-4. If I have a third set, I'll protect the nap through early elementary, switching it up to "quiet time" in bed if necessary. It's good for them, but was very good for me to have a mid-day recharge, whether to nap myself or to start meal prep or to grade papers or catch up on emails.

[Bluegoat]

On 4/30/2018 at 4:38 PM, lolo said:

Looking for some been there, done that advice. 

The primary years (k-2) what would do differently than you did? 

I often see people say emphasize the 3r. And just get reading well down. And then I see someone say give them a big variety of learning and experiences. And some say memorize as much as the kid can. 

 

 

Well, I think you can accomplish both of those things.  IN fact, I'd say that is ideal.

On the one hand, academically, I think reading is the #1 thing.  Math, though that can be done through an informal approach for some parent/child combinations.  And writing, the mechanical skill plus basics like capitalization and such.  These are the things I think of as "school" at that age.

I think certain kinds of memorization can be valuable.  Especially for some children - I tend to favour things like poetry or literature, secular or religious.  I don't have a lot of time for CC type stuff. And for some kids it's not as useful.  

The other stuff, lots of experiences, yes.  But I don't know that these things have to be "school".  I find it helpful to think of them that way to some extent - it helps me organize things in my mind.  But it can also be lots of time outdoors, reading lots of interesting books, visiting interesting places.  

If I were to go back, the things I would change would be little tweaks really, things I realized about my particular kids learning style, or my teaching style. I have found certain things that help me stay organized.   I'd avoid buying some things that turned out not to work and spend the money on things like art supplies.

Academically, I've changed my approach to history a little - I started using more of a four year cycle approach, and I don't now.

[hippiemamato3]

On 4/30/2018 at 5:03 PM, texasmom33 said:

This. 

Also, I wish that I had not taken their slightest interest or excitement in a new skill as an opportunity to turn it into a project. Just because a 4-year-old says "I want to learn to read!" Does not really mean that they do. Or that they have the capacity to. But oh, I was so excited and out came 100EZ when that happened and he cried. And I almost cried. I wish I hadn't done that, and instead had just focused on routine and lighter things like just reading or watching a Leap Frog video without trying to formalize or "capitalize" on everything, if that makes sense. I was very much an "oh, he's banging on the piano and likes to listen to orchestras, lets' sign up for piano lessons!" sort of Mom. I'm still struggling with that and probably always will. The minute my kids show an interest or proclivity, I'd probably do way better to step away from the internet and the phone and just let them be. ?

 

Yes.  So much this. I did learn very early to back off, and let their true interests shine. But there were some really hard learning moments before that happened. 

[BlsdMama]

K-2?  With our first we had a lot of structure.  I think that was a mistake.
With our second we balanced structure more.

With the oldest half I generally read at least two hours each day aloud.  I don't these days.  
I do a much better job getting them outside now than I used to, but part of that is living out in the country now.

Advice:
1. Spend a lot of time outside.  It lends itself to improved focus, curiosity, play, and a detachment from screens.  Make stuff - bird houses, flower gardens, veggie gardens, "rabbit traps" (this is a current project of my 8yo), ramps, forts, paint rocks, etc.  Let THEM make stuff.
2.  Read.  Read far and read wide and read deep.  Read aloud at least 1-2 hours a day.  
3. Start reading instruction around age 7 and do it relaxed and consistently.  That means do as many of the same lesson as necessary, stress free, but just do reading instruction consistently.
4. A LOT of audiobooks.
5. Keep read or sleep afternoons and allow audiobooks during them.
6. Listen to music in the car.  Sing.
7. No formal math K-2.

[ScoutTN]

Not a thing. Well, maybe more hands-on art and crafts.

Happy with the way we did things. Some structure, including naps/rest time. Lots of playing, especially outside. The zoo, storytime, Kindermusik and church.

RS math, phonics/reading, reading picture books on the sofa, HWT, poems and music. All good. 

[Holly]

I wish I'd put more consideration into how my kids learned.  I fell in love with the CM method, but it just hasn't clicked with my kids.  I was hesitant to do classical education because I felt a bit overwhelmed by it (mostly due to comments from other HSing moms).  I realized this year that our most successful HS programs have all been classical or CM/classical hybrids.  We've rarely done well with pure CM programs! 

Also, I kept hearing to "give it time" with regards to CM-style narration.  I've given it plenty of time and I now have a HSer who still struggles with the most basic writing assignments.  I wish I'd gone with my gut on that.  She is now doing well with WWS, but we could have saved so much frustration if I'd ignored that advice.

I also wish I'd placed more emphasis on getting math done more consistently.  We now do year-round math and I wish we'd started this from the beginning.  We'd have had more time for fun math projects, instead of always trying to keep on track!  

I feel bad that we've jumped from curriculum to curriculum as much as we have.  I didn't realize all math programs have their "sticky spots", and we jumped around more than was necessary.  There are times when we really needed a change and times where I just wanted to try something new. 

Finally, I wish I'd fought my DH harder on allowing technology in our house.  I think it has its place, but it's much easier to add it in than to take it away from your DC.  I really wish we'd avoided portable devices and computers in their rooms.  

[MinivanMom]

There isn't much I would change. I was very gentle and focused on the 3 R's. We spent a lot of time doing traditional early childhood projects (apple picking, pumpkin patch, making butter, growing seeds, raising butterflies, strawberry picking, etc), and we spent a lot of time going to the park, the children's museum, the zoo, etc. We did start history and science in 1st grade, but it was always cuddled up on the couch reading (no workbooks or written narrations!). We did have structure and routine from the beginning, and I think that was helpful when we transitioned to doing more formal schoolwork in 4th grade.

My one big change with my younger children has been holding off on languages. My oldest was a bright, little thing, and she was excited about learning languages so I tried to jump right in with both Spanish and French in 1st grade. It was way too much. We wound up pulling back to just French and then starting over in 4th grade with a different program anyway. I don't know why I was in such a hurry. There was plenty of time for her to learn both French and Latin (plus win spelling bee trophies and writing contests, etc). Yes, she was strong in languages, but she didn't need to do it all in 1st grade. There is so much time, and she got much more out of a day at the pumpkin patch than she did out of any Spanish computer program.

My baby will be a 1st grader this fall, and he will be focused on reading, writing, math, and lots of age-appropriate trips to the park, the local farm, the children's museum, etc. I will be reading some history and science aloud (along with lots of picture books), but there will be no foreign languages, no grammar, no pushing. There is plenty of time for him to cover that stuff later.

[Seeking Squirrels]

I wouldn't worry as much about the label on what I used, whether it was above or below my kid's actual age/grade. I would use what fit them best at the time.

I wouldn't stress about checking every box in our history and science curriculums. I believe in exposing them to it at this age, but if something doesn't grab their attention, read a bit and move on.

More field trips and outings. 

I wish I'd tried harder to find what worked for DD with LA and stuck to it. We jumped around a LOT in this subject from k-2. A couple of things we tried were clearly not working for her and needed to go, but a couple others we should have stuck out. 

[SanDiegoMom]

My kids did PS k-2 and I'm grateful for all the crafts they did there (I am NOT crafty) but if I had to do it at home I would prioritize the reading - 2 hours a day. As it is I did 3-5 with 1 1/2 hours a day and my kids remember SO MUCH. 

I would prioritize routines - I was too excited in third grade about the freedom of homeschooling and didn't realize how lack of routine could be detrimental to my son's anxiety issues. Or my daughter's feet dragging issues! 

K-2 I would have made field trips a once a week priority, for sure. With lots of outside time. 

[....]

I've already had a "second chance" with the K-2 crowd.  I was pretty strict with my oldest two when they were that age.  It was disastrous.  Like another poster mentioned a lot of crying everyday...yeah, ds15 would cry when we did school work, too.  I had just pulled them out of the public school system with a family who didn't approve of homeschooling, so there was a lot of pressure to keep them both "on grade level", etc.  

When dd13 and dd10 reached that age, I was much more relaxed with them.  I no longer cared if they weren't on grade level.  Both of them did about 45 min-1 hour of schoolwork a day until they were maybe 8-9.  We did lots of living books, language arts readers, etc.  Not much curriculum.  They both now love school and yes, they are on grade level.  

Ds3 is using MFW's preschool program and he seems to really like it and dh likes it.  So, ds3 will probably use MFW for the K-2 years.

One thing I wouldn't do differently is how I taught writing.  I followed the WTM method for teaching writing and my oldest two are good writers.   

[PeterPan]

Since you went with "if you could"... I'll go with having a better body. It's always me keeping me from my ideals. I don't think it matters a rip how you homeschool, not really. Like this whole should you memorize more, sing more, proselytize more, read more. I've done it different ways with my two kids because they were very different, radically different. Doesn't matter. What's continuous is ME, my values, my character, what I try to make sure rubs off on them (and what unfortunately rubs off on them, lol).

So to me, the better *I* am, the better our homeschool is. I wish I could have been a better mother, more fun, a better housekeeper, a better whatever. But it's all water under the bridge, kwim? It goes so quickly, so quickly.

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, Evanthe said:

I've already had a "second chance" with the K-2 crowd.  I was pretty strict with my oldest two when they were that age.  It was disastrous...  

One thing I wouldn't do differently is how I taught writing.  I followed the WTM method for teaching writing and my oldest two are good writers.   

Yup, I'm a lot more relaxed the 2nd time around. That has its own problems, lol. And yes, I think that's a reason I don't have a lot of regrets, because I followed a pretty strong progression (WTM), corrected periodically and tried not to let problems fester, and looked at my kids, not a list. I think there's a point where you're GOING to have regrets, but it's just part of saying life happens, things happen, I did the best I could, move on. I think it's one of the lessons of homeschooling, that they grow in spite of us and that we don't have to do it perfectly.

[Milknhoney]

I would be more relaxed and realize that there are twelve whole years in which to cover all that must be learned and read all of the wonderful books there are to read.

I started my first at 4 1/2. He would have had to wait an additional year to start K in the public schools, but I felt he was ready. Plus, my dd was newly born and I was ready to stay at home... homeschooling was what justified me only going back to work part time with my husband. "Just" being a SAHM with two kids wouldn't have done it. 

I was such an overeager teacher. I wanted him to become proficient in first grade level stuff by the end of K even though he was already a year younger. I was anxious to get to all of my favorite chapter books that would be better enjoyed at an older age. I became so frustrated when he didn't have all of his math facts memorized by the end of K.

I am happy with how I did things with my youngest. I was more relaxed. My son was older so he's my outlet for reading more advanced books. With my daughter I allowed myself to sit back and enjoy all the wonderful picture books that are out there. We did a math curriculum, but lightly - only a few days a week. We read lots of math literature (Math Start books) to supplement. Also, instead of starting the four-year cycle for history in 1st, we did a survey of American history just reading a bunch of picture books. We started ancient history in grade 2. I feel this was also an improvement over how I did things with my son. I like that she had an early introduction to American, and she was also better prepared to give chapter narrations a year later. 

What I don't regret at all was making learning phonics our number one priority. Both of my kids were reading fluently by the end of K.