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Knock

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Everything posted by Knock

  1. I have five sons and would be thrilled with anything a girlfriend brought me ? I got Mother's Day cards this year from two of the three girlfriends, and it warmed my heart. The first time I met my oldest son's college girlfriend, she brought me a framed photo of them from a sorority/fraternity bash. My middle son's girlfriend made me a pot holder the first time she came to stay at our house (she moved out of state and came back for visits). Since you're out of state, the suggestion of a local treat is a great one! I think that's a nice ice breaker, too.
  2. Meatball subs with salad would be easy. Bring a bagged salad with croutons, dressing, and some hoagie rolls. Meatballs can be served from a crock pot or made ahead and warmed in the oven. Add some chips or fresh cucumber and carrot slices on the side for some crunch.
  3. This feels so unfair ? I wish I had something wise or comforting to say, but all I can think of is how this is so unfair and how your heart must hurt beyond words. I'm very sorry that this disease has robbed you of more time with your sisters.
  4. I have a full change of clothes in my car, including hats and sandals. For all of us. And shelf stable snacks. I change it seasonally LOL.
  5. I'm another one whose adult children want me to be more restrictive with the younger kids' usage. My older two didn't have phones until 17-18 and paying for them on their own. cell phones were popular, but not everywhere. My middle two got phones at 16, having been the only kids in their circles without them and being very extroverted and social. It took a toll on their sleep, on their focus of school and even friends. My now 18 year old would buy burner phones and sneak friends' phones, he was determined. He's now the most vocal about making sure the younger ones don't have access, and he's frank with me on how to know if they're sneaking around with them. My younger two don't have phones. One is 12 and the only one of her peers not to, but she doesn't care right now. My other is a toddler but he's not allowed to use phones or the iPads. Strangely, ALL of my older kids agree that he shouldn't have access to these things. We let him FaceTime his siblings who don't live locally, but no apps or games or anything. I think he'll be the hardest one to keep off of these things. I wish I had advice. I just wanted to ditto onthenextadventure because it's very similar to our experience. I always let the kids use my phone pretty freely though, which wasn't ideal for them but was better than nothing. And they did more on the computer, which I found easier to monitor AND which was stationary. There is definitely something to be said for the portability of the phone. We have a policy that phones stay in the common areas - kitchen, living room, school room, outside - always. If you want privacy, you get a lecture about how I had to hide in a closet under the stairs with the world's shortest cord from a wall phone in a house of 12 people, and then I direct the kid to the patio LOL.
  6. I have ADD and have been in this exact type of situation more days than not!! I feel your pain!! Like you, I stay up late while I'm *focused* so I can make sure to get everything done, t's crossed and i's dotted, everything. But what I do NOW is to load the car the night before. Because BTDT and the adrenal rush I get from scrambling around afterwards (and because, also like you, there are no easy solutions!! When it rains, it pours!! Of COURSE your parents have an ancient computer and OF COURSE it would take hours to figure out how to print out the forms there!! Every time someone jokes, "Hey, it could be worse!" I cringe because I feel like I'm living proof and the world's example of the "could be worse!" I'm a flight attendant. I pack my bag and put it in the car the night before. I actually never bring it in from the garage, other than to the laundry room. I wash everything and put the clothes right back in. Then it sits, packed, in my laundry room until the night before my trip when I pack it into the car. I have separate make-up bags, separate lingerie, separate everything - my work things and my home things don't mix or mingle any more. Because I have shown up for a 3 day work trip without my suitcase before. And I've returned from a trip without a clue where my car key is. My first husband bought me this neat drawer that fits into my tow hitch and is a combination lock. Now I always know where my key is ?! I'm just glad my family and husbands can roll with the punches of life with me and my ADD. It frustrates me, and I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for them.
  7. I tried and hated them all until I found Piper Wai. I don't have a strong body odor, but I do sweat like faucet. My daughter uses the roll-on, but I prefer the paste. Disclosure: I don't wear deodorant every day, or even most days. But I use Piper Wai if I'm going to be in close proximity to people, like for Church, scouts, sports, hanging out with friends, or if I'm at work. My job is physically demanding, and my uniform is a polyester that doesn't breathe. My shifts are anywhere from 4-12 hours per day. Piper Wai is the only deodorant that works as well as a non-natural deodorant for work days. My armpits are very sensitive and antiperspirants irritate my skin. I've tried nearly every natural product and was ready to give up. Then we saw Piper Wai on Shark Tank, and my kids bought it for me for Mother's Day. Talk about taking a hint! They have also bought me other products from the show, so I try not to take it personally LOL! But I commiserate. The product you're using should be working by now. What a let down.
  8. This rings true in my area, where many families send their kids to public or private school for the high school years. I don't know that any of our local organizations hosts an 8th grade graduation (the way they do 12th grade graduation), but I know families who celebrate by announcing graduation, maybe taking pictures, and hosting an open house or party. Me, personally? I have a lot of nieces and nephews, none who are homeschooled but all who attend schools who celebrate 8th grade graduation with dances and a ceremony. So I celebrated my kids' 8th grade graduations, too. We did a fun, informal photo shoot and invited everyone over for a party. It was very low-key and looked like any other family event, except dessert was a cake with "Congrats, [Kid]" written on it. Because nobody but me really has an interest in the details of their curricular map and long-term educational plans, I planned their 8th grade celebration for the year they would have made it had they attended brick and mortar school. My kids were all over the map at that point, working at, under, and above grade level in various subjects. It's the same approach to placing them in grade levels when required for other things, like church groups or scouting or whatever. Nobody cares when my brick-and-mortar nieces and nephews are working above or below grade level, either. I had one nephew who was allowed to celebrate his 8th grade graduation with his classmates, but really he still had to attend summer school in order to make up three months worth of work he missed while in the hospital. It's flexible,celebrate whenever you want!
  9. Phantom Tollbooth is always fun, although the younger kids could still listen in. The Mysterious Benedict Society The Alchemyst series
  10. I've always been intuitive, so I would answer: Yes, I'm the parent I thought I would be (owing to my strengths and weaknesses and general personality.) But that is not to say that I am the parent I could be, or maybe even the parent I ought to be. Literally, though, I'm the parent I thought I would be. The surest way for me to answer is to say that I learned from my own parents, who had a lot, a lot, a lot of kids. I love being from a very large family, but I always knew I could not, and would not, parent a large brood of my own. I am not the best of my mother, nor the best of my father. Fortunately I am also not their worsts. I did have more children than I was expecting to, but the spacing has been enough that I'm able to mostly manage, and our careers have allowed us to remain close to family so I have a lot of support. I'm able to be the parent I ought to be because I limited my family size, because of miracle spacing, and lucky career breaks. I parent the same way my parents parented us, just tweaked with my own personality quirks. And so far, all of my sisters and brothers parent pretty much the same, which makes it easy to remain a close extended family. I've seen some families where parenting styles are so different that it makes family gatherings difficult or uncomfortable. We've never really subscribed to parenting theories as such, and just basically do what has always been done in our family. It seems to churn out mostly decent people.
  11. In Texas, there is no minimum. And we can homeschool other people's children, too.
  12. Congratulations! If you do dessert, you could make a cake with "Congrats" or "January 2019" on it. When they ask what it's all about, tell them. Have your older children wear a shirt announcing it, and see how long it takes for someone to notice. Serve spaghetti. I don't now if you serve yourself then sit, or if you eat family style at the table, so tweak as necessary ... you get seated before anyone else. Plate a huge amount of spaghetti on your plate, put a jar of Prego sauce in front of you, and then invite everyone else into the room for dinner. See if anyone puts 2+2 together as they sit down to eat. Write a message on the bottom of everyone's plates or bowls. "You're going to be a Grandpa!" or "Nephew #3 arriving in Jan!" under all of the food. As each person finishes eating, they'll see the message. (Not the bottom-bottom of their bowls, but the inside bottom where the food rests LOL.)
  13. My sons' girlfriends are here right now, and both jumped at the idea of a Sephora gift card ? They're 17 and 19. If you wanted her to have something besides a gift card, you could send a pretty hair clip of some kind. Even if it's not her style, she'll probably hold on to it and use it one day. Or have a friend who will. ? I'd probably stalk Facebook or recent family pictures to get a sense of her style, and whether she even wore hair accessories, but I'm a bit obsessive and anxious about gift-giving LOL.
  14. 9th (Ancients/Year 1 in the Cycle): History is World History/Western Civilization or personal choice* Literature is Classical Lit Religion is the Bible (Old Testament and New Testament) 10th (Middle Ages/Year 2): History is World History/Western Civilization or personal choice* Literature is British/European Literature Religion is Church History 11th (Early Modern/Year 3): History is U.S. History Literature is American Literature Religion is Apologetics 12th (Modern/Year 4): History is .5 Government and .5 Economics Literature is self-chosen and interest-driven (e.g., Science Fiction, the Lit. of War, Asian-American Lit) Religion becomes Philosophy, and covers Ethics & Morality - Aristotle, St. Thomas Aquinas, etc. *My kids have different historical eras in which they're most interested. I let them choose whether to do World History/Western Civ for 9th or 10th grade. The other year they can choose a social studies elective like Geography, Sociology, Psychology, or Speech/Debate. My current student wanted to know more about modern European history, so he did that in 10th grade and covered from 1500s-2000s. My next student will likely want to do it her 10th grade year, but focused on Eastern Civilizations. If so, her Literature for that year would also be Asian/Russian Lit and then her 12th grade year would cover British Lit. History is a hodge podge of my own mixing, and draws largely from Great Courses and Homeschool Connections (recorded), with assorted resources and books. I created my own Sociology and Government courses. I'm in the market for a Speech/Debate curriculum to use in two years, and hoping I don't have to write my own. Only one of my kids has opted to take Geography, and he took it at brick-and-mortar school. We usually cover Geography in the course of studying other subjects. I don't award credit in that case, but it satisfies my need for them to be aware.
  15. I always counseled non-violence as the BEST WAY of handling a situation. But when that's not working, and in your daughter's situation it's not working, we move to the NEXT best way to handle a situation, which is to defend yourself and your people. Martial arts is great for the long term. It will help her build confidence, and she'll learn how to defend (versus raw animal fighting) when confronted. This will keep her from getting more hurt, likely, and more likely, from getting into deeper trouble with the school. And that's because she'll have confidence, training, and experience NOT solely relying on adrenaline and emotions. In the short term, I'd teach her how to throw a punch and how to take one. I'm not one to advocate being sneaky, but I'm also human. If this was a years-long situation, I might mention (b) but with the caveat that it might make her feel better but won't likely make any difference in the situation because kids like the one she's dealing with need their fires to be fought with fire. Otherwise, in my experience, they just get more inflamed and more physical. Sorry you are having to deal with this.
  16. I'd have him be careful about over washing or starting with overly harsh products. Sometimes that approach backfires and dries out the skin, which makes the oil production really ramp up. My sons all had mild acne, and all were outdoor athletes. I started with a gentle face wash daily - and extra if they had done practices or games - with a acne-specific wash once a week. My eldest liked the smell of Noxema and has always used that daily. My middle three use I Love Cucumbers or something like that. All four of them use the I Love Tomatoes or something like that with the salicylic whatever or acne-specific ingredient (I don't pay good attention, sorry) on Saturdays after games. And the a good lotion at night to help hydrate the skin. My eldest uses Oil of Olay because an ex girlfriend of his did and he loves it LOL. My other three use a lotion by the same company as their face wash.
  17. Is your church the kind that encourages more traditional roles in marriage? That's a weird question, sorry, but there's a pushy woman I had to deal with a few years ago and what finally got her to stop was when my husband respectfully but firmly told her to leave me alone. I tried being nice. I tried being direct. I even tried rude and STFU, but she blew that off as me having a bad day and continued to harass me. Talk about clueless. I have never had ANYONE fight my battles for me. I am stubborn and strong and okay, a little emotionally damaged to the point of needing to be ferociously independent to a fault. But at the suggestion of an IRL friend who also knew this woman, I had my husband speak to her on my behalf. We had a plan and when he saw her corner me at fellowship, he came over and spoke to her with me right there. And she didn't push back at him the way she did me. And the little bit she tried, he handled way more calmly than I would have. But he was firm. And she got the point. A few times in the few years since she's started back on old habits and I just remind her that my husband asked me to not speak to her about family or personal matters. He kids about being my knight in shining armor. I still hate that I needed one LOL but whatever. Life is too short for stress like these people. I hope you find a way to untangle yourself from this woman's web.
  18. I'm down to only one student next year, which will be a big adjustment for me. She got to tag along on the big kids' hands-on projects, but she was <5 at the time and doesn't remember much. Then the big kids were in high school which was a major time suck for me, so she hasn't really had much hands-on fun herself. She's in middle school and just went through the SOTW AG to find the projects she wants to do. We're doing this year's projects over summer and then next year I'll have time to do the projects in tandem with studying the chapters. That's the goal anyway LOL. She also wants art, so we're going to do Artistic Pursuits. In theory, I love hands-on subjects. In practice, I get distracted easily and forget to plan ahead for supplies, etc. I'm going to buy everything this summer and put it into numbered bags that I can grab from the shelf each week, and go. I can't do this plan ahead each week thing.
  19. We do something like this. I'm the one with ADD, none of my kids have it but their habits have certainly been influenced from having been homeschooled by someone with it. It's like they have ADD-by-association, which, so far, has been remedied once they consistently took outside classes in high school or college. But anyway, we usually had subject-specific mornings. I did well with a deep focus on each subject, and they mostly did well when we could spend 2 hours on one subject really getting into it, like a block schedule. Transitions have always been my downfall. The one subject I try to do multiple times a week is math. Just because the kids seem to need the regular reinforcement. So we spend 2 hours on, say, Monday doing the main part of the lesson. We use MUS, so that would be watching the video, discussing the material, and doing pages A-C. The rest of the week, not necessarily every day but at least once more and preferably twice more, we'll finish up pages D-F or G. We do those in the afternoons, after lunch. For Latin, we do the lesson on a single morning, and then review with flash cards or open-book quizzes during the afternoons on other days. We usually do that over lunch or in the car when transitions aren't a huge deal. Writing we had to split over 2-3 days. It was just too much to do in a single day. But we still spend one day doing the majority of the lesson, and days 2 and 3 are much lighter (usually a rough draft or revisions, then a final draft.) It's worth a try, even if you just go to a twice-a-week format instead of a once-a-week. Commit to trying it for a month and then meet to discuss what's working and what isn't. It's great that she's brainstorming with you, and together you'll find the best way to make it work for her!
  20. Not a true sandwich, but I like a caprese salad on a stick. It's still a finger food, and a nice alternative. I marinate small mozzarella balls in oil and balsamic vinegar with some Italian seasoning thrown in. Then I thread it onto a skewer with a cherry or grape tomato and a fresh basil leaf.
  21. My ex-husband told a co-worker that our daughter was in 3rd grade. She was finishing up 5th grade. This is a child he saw almost every evening, for sports and dinner. So, okay, maybe you don't know her grade, but that's so far off that now I wonder if you even know how old she is! I firmly believe that your ex isn't interested in your son's daily habits. But I also think that many males relate differently to each other. We have an 18 year old son who lives on his own. I still know his daily habits, well enough to know not to text because he's driving right now or I'll call in 20 minutes because he's most likely watching the ball game. I see this as being interested and involved. It's not like my son gave me a daily schedule, I internalized his routine by paying attention to conversations and piecing together patterns. My ex-husband would say that I'm micro-managing or way over-involved, and that it's more respectful to our son to treat him as we would any other independent adult. Potato, potahto! There's truth to each of our opinions. Though FWIW I internalize these things about everyone, it's just my personality. So I also know when it's okay to text a friend, or if I should wait an hour for her to put baby down for a nap, wrap up grammar with her 5th grader, or if she's heading out the door for soccer.
  22. If my family were only buying me something or acknowledging the day because Hallmark or society made them feel a sense of obligation to, I'd want to ignore it, too. But so far none of them does it with that intention, so I'm happy to receive their acknowledgments and thoughtful gifts. They're not to blame for society's (capitalism's?) drive to promote another cash cow, and their feelings would be hurt if I blew off the day as such. And since it's a fake holiday, it's not really about me, it's still any other day where my relationships matter. So I am gracious when my loved ones celebrate me, on any day, even the one Hallmark promotes, and even though I am not a holiday person myself. I married someone who loves all the holidays and must celebrate them all - even half birthdays, including those of pets. {rolling eyes} Every year I get to sleep in until breakfast in bed arrives, some cards, and if I have any kids in the 3-10 range, some type of homemade gift. My oldest son always makes me cookies, my other kids send Starbucks gift cards, and my pre-teen rubs my feet for 30 seconds each before she gets grossed out by the horrors that have happened after decades in high heels and working 8-12 hours shifts on my feet. 7 years running with this one, you think she'd learn by now to just write me a haiku instead. Every year I send my former MIL a picture of her son and the kids. I send my current MIL the same, of hers. And I give my mom a picture of no men, just all the kids, plus a plant. I make cards to all of my aunts and to my grandmothers. I send all of these women letters and cards throughout the year as well, along with texts, calls, and emails. And my kids do the same for me throughout the year, acknowledging this fake holiday amidst the many days.
  23. I always stock up on their little battery-operated tea light candles. It's the weirdest thing, but I find myself using those a lot, especially around the holidays. I also like the spice racks for book shelves - if you're not familiar, google it! I went from picture books to now putting "read these at some point this month" books relating to what we're studying in history and science, even with my high school kids. They're also handy in the bathroom - google that, too! Have fun, and definitely try the meatballs with fries.
  24. We had a positive experience with a virtual high school run by a local school district. They were open to non-traditional students, such as homeschoolers, and very willing to work with us to get our student appropriately placed. The classes were too easy, and he felt it was too much busywork, so he asked to return to homeschool the next year. But he enjoyed the teachers, felt well-supported, and made several friends (online in class chats and local meet-ups arranged by teachers as optional tutoring sessions) he remains in touch with. He and a friend got permission to plan two dances, which were well-attended and fun. He did have to take the state testing, but the school will tell you upfront that they don't prepare the kids for them or take class time to do anything related to the tests. They administer them because they're required to. We got the results mailed to us and never heard boo from the school about them, or his scores. When we requested all of his records to pull him out at the end of the year, they wished him well and had no hard feelings. They were great when he contacted them in 10th and 11th grades to see if he could take the PSAT with them (they were happy to!) It felt like the best of both worlds - teachers who could teach their way, not a mandated way and accountability for him to someone other than to me. Problems I ran into - the student has to participate in live classes, which reduces scheduling flexibility. My son had two Monday classes (0900 and 1300) which ate up that day, and then a single class each of the other days, meeting at various times. That won't bother some people but I like taking random days off. Also, he did all of his work but he also dilly dally'd a lot, switching tabs between school work and Youtube, for example. Some of the classes felt like a lower quality due to the nature of the computer - art was more of a digital art, and a poor one at that. I made him re-take art at home. Biology labs were acceptable, but not great. If he were STEM focused, I would have liked him to retake a lab portion somewhere else doing REAL labs. Final problem was that it wasn't able to offer any UIL classes or teams.
  25. Clear Creek's post is great, and I hope you consider it while you decide what to do next! I am a long time MUS user, with multiple students. Two are majoring in engineering and have a high proclivity for maths. I made them do things the MUS way before someone like Clear Creek clued me in to the curriculum (any curriculum, really) being a TOOL for me to use in a way best suited to my task (i.e., student). For subsequent children, I still made sure they were taught the MUS way but if they had an easier time doing something the standard, traditional way? I allowed it. I just needed some show that they really understood how the problem was solved, and then they were free to use any methodology they preferred. MUS did prepare my older students very well, but they forever thought they hated math. They definitely didn't like MUS. When they see a younger sibling doing expanded notation, they have bad flashbacks. But since changing my approach to using MUS, the others have healthier attitudes about maths. Surprise, surprise LOL!
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