It must be nice

[Elizabeth86]

To sleep in on the weekend as late as you want. Just saying 3 hours into my morning while some people snore on.

[marbel]

:grouphug:

 

When my kids were little, I would get so mad at my husband for sleeping in on Saturdays.  But on the other hand, I didn't want to wake him up since he worked so much during the week.  

 

Now with older kids, I could sleep in almost any day... but I wake up naturally now and enjoy being up first and having the house to myself!  

 

:grouphug:

[OneStepAtATime]

Can you ask him if you could rotate Saturdays, so you get a morning to sleep in, too, once in a while?  You are working hard, too.  Your effort and time should be just as valuable as his.

[displace]

I have never slept in except a dozen times since DS9 was born. Now that they’re older, I still get up to help with breakfast. ☹ï¸

[Elizabeth86]

Can you ask him if you could rotate Saturdays, so you get a morning to sleep in, too, once in a while? You are working hard, too. Your effort and time should be just as valuable as his.

I mean, he would I suppose, but a kid wakes up and I instantly hear them and are wide awake too. They can literally crawl on him and he doesn't know they are even there. So, it would take them a good 10 minutes to get him awake if they even could and the noise would just have me up and when I open ny eyes I'm just up. I'm just venting.

 

It's just that dad's are weird. How on earth can their kids be up and have no idea??

Edited December 3, 2017 by Elizabeth86

[JustEm]

I mean, he would I suppose, but a kid wakes up and I instantly hear them and are wide awake too. They can literally crawl on him and he doesn't know they are even there. So, it would take them a good 10 minutes to get him awake if they even could and the noise would just have me up and when I open ny eyes I'm just up. I'm just venting.

 

It's just that dad's are weird. How on earth can their kids be up and have no idea??

It is not just dad's. I wake up almost every more in with at least 3 of my kids playing in my bedroom. They don't wake me up and they've usually been playing for at least a half hour because I stir.

[UmMusa]

I hear ya OP

[KungFuPanda]

Eventually the kids become teenagers and you can sleep in and still have to drag them out of bed afterwards.

[Frances]

From the time he was very little, my husband took my son to a bagel shop every Saturday morning so I could sleep in or just relax in a quite home. My husband did this even when he was working 60+ hours per week as a grad student and then a new professor.

 

If you can't sleep in, maybe he can at least take them on an outing every weekend so you can have some downtime. You deserve a break just as much as he does.

[fralala]

I resent it, too. I don't actually want to sleep until noon.  But the sight of a slumbering body sometimes is too much to bear, when one has been up since dawn wiping bottoms and serving waffles, and sometimes one does push the roaring vacuum rather passive-aggressively throughout the room in which said body is slumbering.

 

Of course, the other side of the coin is that my kids love me so powerfully that my husband is unable to keep them from me. Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no river wide enough, ain't no playground far enough, to keep the kids from bursting into the room yelling "Mommy! Mommy! I want Mommy! I only love Mommy!" and over who will get to snuggle me. That's probably not a memory I'm going to regret.

[Elizabeth86]

Eventually the kids become teenagers and you can sleep in and still have to drag them out of bed afterwards.

And I'll miss em being little. I know. I know I will and mostly I don't mind, but some days...

[rocassie]

My DH is a light sleeper and morning person so we have the opposite here in my house.  Maybe trade off based on what is causing the resentment - DH takes Saturday mornings to do whatever (sleeping in) while you get Saturday early afternoon (evening, whatever works) to do what you want.    Another thing that has worked for us is DH does breakfast- cooking and cleaning up on Sat morning and I do dinner and cleaning up Sat evening.  

 

Sorry you are feeling resentful.  I've been there - the million wake ups my babies did to nurse during the evening/night hours while DH got to relax and sleep.  It was for a season, but I also talked to DH about needing some concentrated "down time" not just an hour here or there.  I did have to broach the subject though because he was oblivious.  He knew I was up a lot, but didn't "know" how it was affecting me.

 

 

[desertstrawberry5]

Sleep deprivation will make you so angry and bitter like nothing else. I still am angry with D occasionally when he sleeps late and I'm up with a screamy kid. That doesn't happen a lot these days, but when it does, it hurts so much. 

I remember when my second was a toddler, I just sat on the sofa and wept while D was leaving for work. I was so tired, I just couldn't deal. 

I agree with everyone else. If there is any possible way, find some time to get a break. It really is necessary. Your brain needs a rest. 

[alisoncooks]

Yes....it's hard to not begrudge DH his mad sleep skills. I wake at the slightest peep of kiddo; the kids and I have literally watched cartoons, eaten breakfast (on the couch where he was sleeping), gotten dressed, and left the house (banging the door on the way out) and he never stirs.

Edited December 3, 2017 by alisoncooks

[TheReader]

Can you nap later on? Or otherwise get a much-needed, well-deserved break? 

 

When mine were little and not sleeping/not letting me sleep (and heck, even if they were letting me sleep), I made sure to get a weekly solo outing, just to rest and recharge and be a grown-up for a little while, all blissfully alone. If that wasn't possible (and at times it wasn't), I got at least a monthly outing all alone of some sort. Heck, even now, I go once/month to a sew-in while DH stays home and "sacrificially plays Xbox with the boys" (we laugh, as we each feel we're the one getting the good side of that deal). 

 

Point being, I totally understand the resentment of it  -- mine comes out every time dh is sick. He is the poster child for "man colds" and goes to bed, doesn't move, needs me to bring him soup, water, gatorade, etc., and just basically acts as though death is right around the corner....meanwhile I get full on migraines every.single.month. and often times have to fight through them to still run whatever kid-related errands (therapy appts, door monitor at their outside classes, chauffeur to/from these classes....) between snips of naps and doses of meds. 

 

Back when it was sleep deprivation, I used to rather bluntly wake him up when the kids stirred, insist it was his turn/duty to be out there, and make certain he knew I was NOT to be disturbed. Then I'd try and fall back asleep, or if not, soak in a hot bath or read a book in bed or whatever, just so long as HE was the one up and dealing with kids and I was the one getting to relax. Maybe something like that would work for you, if taking a nap/getting to relax later on isn't going to work....

 

Either way, :grouphug:  It's hard. No doubt about it. Rant away, we'll listen. 

[KungFuPanda]

And I'll miss em being little. I know. I know I will and mostly I don't mind, but some days...

I was trying to give you a light at the end of the tunnel; not guilt. Some things, like sleep deprivation and diapers, you will NEVER miss. Just keep swimming . . .

[SparklyUnicorn]

I don't miss those days.

I rarely sleep in, but little kids be crazy and get up at like 4.  Eek.  I purposefully had them stay up later because I hated that.

 

 

[eternalsummer]

The way I see this is that it is nice to be able to sleep the whole night through, and extra on days off if you like (and even to get days off!  I haven't had a day off in 12 years!), but it's also nice to be able to sit down for a few minutes when I feel like it, or put off the dishes for later, or read the book I want to a child, or sit around reading cookbooks and posting on the forums and eating cookies for an hour while everyone plays outside, instead of working 4 hours pretty much straight, half an hour break, 4 more hours on, often doing something really not that fun and/or hard and/or dangerous (men do the vast majority of the most dangerous jobs) and certainly with little control of your everyday schedule, just to keep your family fed and housed and secure.

[Ausmumof3]

The way I see this is that it is nice to be able to sleep the whole night through, and extra on days off if you like (and even to get days off! I haven't had a day off in 12 years!), but it's also nice to be able to sit down for a few minutes when I feel like it, or put off the dishes for later, or read the book I want to a child, or sit around reading cookbooks and posting on the forums and eating cookies for an hour while everyone plays outside, instead of working 4 hours pretty much straight, half an hour break, 4 more hours on, often doing something really not that fun and/or hard and/or dangerous (men do the vast majority of the most dangerous jobs) and certainly with little control of your everyday schedule, just to keep your family fed and housed and secure.

I think the tricky thing is when they are little and you don't get time to do that. Now though I feel like I get the better deal. I have no babies. I can sleep in. I have a lot of choice over how we spend our days and what we study. There's still a lot to do but there's a lot of freedom to choose which is worth so much.

 

In other words the years as a homeschool mum with no littles makes up for the baby years if you get them.

[eternalsummer]

Ah, I have always had babies :)  But I think maybe they have been easy babies.

[Elizabeth86]

The way I see this is that it is nice to be able to sleep the whole night through, and extra on days off if you like (and even to get days off! I haven't had a day off in 12 years!), but it's also nice to be able to sit down for a few minutes when I feel like it, or put off the dishes for later, or read the book I want to a child, or sit around reading cookbooks and posting on the forums and eating cookies for an hour while everyone plays outside, instead of working 4 hours pretty much straight, half an hour break, 4 more hours on, often doing something really not that fun and/or hard and/or dangerous (men do the vast majority of the most dangerous jobs) and certainly with little control of your everyday schedule, just to keep your family fed and housed and secure.

Your right and I do appreciate it. Sometimes when you have been up a few times through the night and baby is up earlier than usual, ya just feel bad kwim? I guess just sleeping in 6 hours later than a work day seems a tad bit much. Kwim?

[Lizzie in Ma]

I feel you.

Saturday is the only day I can sleep in theoretically, but I am awake at my regular time anyway. :(