Questions for intentional homemakers

[Moxie]

By intentional homemaker, I mean someone who takes the job of making a home seriously, puts thought into their actions, works to make the home a refuge and haven for the family and finds joy in making the effort.

 

What inspires you (books, blogs, etc.)?

What routines do you find most helpful (menu planning, cleaning routines, etc.)?

What do you do to create a peaceful atmosphere?

How do you keep track of everything? Do you use a planner, control binder or just what?

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

My favorite book for intentional homemaking is Sarah Ban Breathnach's Mrs. Sharp's Traditions: Reviving Victorian Family Celebrations Of Comfort & Joy. Love, love, love it!

 

http://www.amazon.com/Sarah-Breathnachs-Mrs-Sharps-Traditions/dp/074321076X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225898753&sr=8-1

 

I also make sure to keep up magazine subscriptions just for me. I found that I immersed myself so much in the homeschooling aspect of my "job" (especially research!) that I was neglecting most other areas. I subscribe to Martha Stewart Living, Real Simple, Everyday Food, Cooking Light, Clean Eating, Wonder Time, and Family Fun. When they come in the mail, I sit down with a glass of iced tea and really enjoy them. They help keep me inspired. I pull what I will use and recycle or donate to my doctor's office so they don't stack up.

 

The teaching methods and philosophy of Charlotte Mason are very conducive to achieving a relaxed atmosphere at home.

 

I find that classical or other soothing music, a lovely candle burning and a neat home make the biggest difference in how relaxed and enjoyable our home is. Music sets the mood, so I have a big collection to play at different times (my kids' jazz for fun summer days in the backyard, for example). Keeping the tv off for 99% of our lives is a big help to creating tranquility also.

 

I keep all important papers and schedules in a large day planner (phone list, pre-printed grocery list arranged by store aisle, weekly menu, bill/financial info, school schedule, calendar, etc.).

 

A big thing for me is trying to be intentional, as you say--not falling into ruts. I cycle through my cookbooks and try to pick one new recipe a week.

 

I posted recently about my shift in thinking that helped me do so much better in this area. For me, it was having to stop stealing me time. I started doing the opposite, throwing myself more fully into my job as homemaker. An interesting result has been that as I'm putting more time into the homemaking aspect of my job, I'm actually enjoying life so much more. There is flow. I'm relaxed. The house is clean. There is good food. There is not the chaos that there used to be and everyone benefits from the calm.

 

I'm interested in answers as well. This is a great question!

 

Kristina

[Cheryl in NM]

I'll start, but I just recently started taking my job seriously!:D

 

I've always used a Palm Pilot linked to my computer so I had my schedule with me all the time. Last year I started using a paper planner. I used Amy Knapp's Family Organizer last year and I'm using Mom's Plan It this year. They are both very similar. Besides the daily calendar, there's a weekly to-do list, meal plan and grocery list. They come with stickers for dr. appts, playdates, sleepovers, all kinds of things. Mom's Plan It has a pocket in the cover so I can carry coupons, grocery list, receipts, etc.

 

I have a chore chart that breaks chores into daily, bi-weekly, weekly, bi-monthly, monthly, bi-annual and annual. It's also a laminated checklist so ds and I can check off chores as we do them and use the same list over and over again.

 

I have little rules for myself based on what I've determined helps me to feel like I'm accomplishing something. The kitchen must be clean before bed. I hate getting up to a dirty kitchen; it just makes me feel like I'm starting the day behind. Of course, when I don't get it done the night before I really try to get it done first thing in the morning.

 

For me this is an attitude and heart matter. I love taking care of my family. When I was in highschool and people asked me what I wanted to do with my life, my answer was be a wife and mother and homemaker. Of course, that wasn't very pc!

 

I enjoy cooking and baking. I love the way the house looks, smells and feels right after I clean it. I love having time to brush the horses or sit with my chickens (I talk to them, they listen, it's a relationship, really!:tongue_smilie:).

 

My main inspiration is Dh's gratitude and love. He was raised by a working mom some years and a homemaker step-mom other years. He values the homemaker immensely. I love to read blogs and biographies about homemakers. I get tips about how to be successful and how to keep from feeling like a grunt!

 

I'm not sure I keep a peaceful attitude. I need to work on that. I'm a high-strung, type A personality. I'm working a listening, being compassionate and gracious in my actions.:001_huh: It's not going well!:lol:

 

Anyway, I hope I answered your questions. I've worked on this post for about 15 minutes, typing and deleting!

[JudoMom]

By intentional homemaker, I mean someone who takes the job of making a home seriously, puts thought into their actions, works to make the home a refuge and haven for the family and finds joy in making the effort.

 

What inspires you (books, blogs, etc.)?

What routines do you find most helpful (menu planning, cleaning routines, etc.)?

What do you do to create a peaceful atmosphere?

How do you keep track of everything? Do you use a planner, control binder or just what?

 

My favorite book for homemaking is Edith Schaeffer's What is a Family?. She also has a book called The Hidden Art of Homemaking. I prefer the first one because it reminds me that I'm making a home for my family, not simply making a home to look pretty, and that there is more to making a home than just how it looks.

 

I plan a menu every week and shop once a week. This keeps my stress down because I know what we're eating, and I know I have the food for the week. I also don't waste time running around. I always keep things picked up, and I try to do a load of laundry every day. I don't really have a cleaning routine--I just try to keep up cleaning things as they get dirty.

 

Peaceful atmosphere? Um....hmmmm. My boys have to keep all toy weapons outside, and all toys are kept in the playroom. They rarely bring toys up to the main level. This keeps it uncluttered and fairly clean. I purge things often, as I find clutter isn't conducive to a peaceful atmosphere.

 

I keep track of our schedule, appointments, menu, etc. in Outlook on my laptop.

[angela in ohio]

The first thing I would say is that well-disciplined children are the key to me being able to have a well-run home. There is peace in my home, because there is no strife between anyone. I also have time for domestic arts, because my children are helpful and can employ themselves usefully on their own.

 

Second, reading a lot has been important to learning about keeping a real home. I learned ZILCH about homemaking during my childhood. I was an eighties girl; I was going to be a CEO and Rosie the Robot was going to take care of my home in the year 2000. :) Everything I have learned has been through my own pursuit. The two most useful books are Home Comforts and The Joy of Cooking. Also, reading magazines (Martha Stewart, Cooking Light, Southern Living, Cooks Illustrated, etc.) Subscribe to the newsletter from Urban Homemaker, order the catalog, and order books from her, as well. When you get the basics down, read The Hidden Art of Homemaking.

 

As far as useful routines, I am a listmaker. So I have lists of meals and ingredients, lists of chores to do when, etc. With some modification (of course,) I follow the methods in Sidetracked Home Executives. I keep a detailed schedule of the day's work, but it is constantly being interrupted, so I have to have some flexibilty. Having a list that I can get to the end of is critical for me to feel peaceful during times of rest.

 

I keep two notebooks: one has our school and daily schedules, lesson plans, and such in it; the other has household lists, schedules, charts, etc.

 

We are busy and are out of the home a lot. Dh has an incredibly stressful and busy job. So home has to be a place to re-group and re-charge. :) Being organized allows me the freedom to be outside my home with others, but also keep things lovely at home for when we return or when we are entertaining.

 

I try not to have a lot of "stuff" that requires extra effort: I decorate very simply, without a lot to dust (besides the books, LOL.) I go for clean, clear, and comfortable, as we don't have a lot of fancy this-or-that. (We call our decorating style tragically ecclectic. ) ;) I only keep things in our house that we use (expecially in the kitchen!)

 

That's sort of random, but there are my two cents. :)

[Michelle O. in MO]

I'm very interested in what everyone has to say on this. I've known for quite some time that my homemaking abilities are "challenged". I also believe that if I had a better plan in place and was consistent, everyone in my family would be happier including me. I find myself often feeling overwhelmed, disorganized and then stressed. This is not the example I want to give my children, nor is it how I want to live my life. One poster on this thread mentioned her heart attitude. That really hit me. Gosh it seems so obvious, but I guess I've been overly focused on what I haven't been getting done (and blaming) rather than the process. Michelle

[Tracy in Ky]

I stay home.

 

That is the main thing. If I am here, I can do what I need to do and be rested and cheerful.

 

If I leave, things fall apart all over. A pretty typical week finds me going to church on Sunday morning, and staying home again until the following Sunday morning except for running to piano lessons on Wednesdays. Of course we may visit friends or have another family activity on some evenings, but for the most part I stay home.

[Oak Knoll Mom]

I stay home.

 

That is the main thing. If I am here, I can do what I need to do and be rested and cheerful.

 

If I leave, things fall apart all over. A pretty typical week finds me going to church on Sunday morning, and staying home again until the following Sunday morning except for running to piano lessons on Wednesdays. Of course we may visit friends or have another family activity on some evenings, but for the most part I stay home.

 

I was able to do this in years past, but as my kids have gotten older I find us out of the house every. single. day. Blech. But, two of my days are going to be freed up in the next couple of weeks and we're really considering not continuing one of those activities after Christmas.

[Nan in Mass]

driving and waiting, I totally identify with this. I loved it the years we couldn't afford a car. My husband took me grocery shopping and carried the groceries for me. (We still shop together, even though I've had my own car now for years.) I was much more settled and home oriented. I like what gymnastics is giving my children, and the community college is making a very necessary bridge between homeschool and college (as well as allowing me NOT to teach chemistry), so we keep doing it, but I know full well that I am totally neglecting my job as homemaker. I am now a carmaker, not a homemaker. You know, perhaps I should make more of an effort to make the car nice for my children? Considering how much time we spend in it? We read aloud, have nice magazines to look at, and talk lots, so the car time isn't all bad, but I could go back to laying out a cloth napkin under their supper dishes in the big tupperware tubs we use. And I could make sure we have a nice supply of sharpened pencils, flashlights, kleenex, and a proper trashcan. Anyway, I think your point is a really, really good one, simple as it sounds, and I hope you shout it loudly GRIN.

-Nan

[Chris in VA]

Kathleen in VA once linked to When Queens Ride By, a short story about a homemaker in the 20's who discovers she can best help her family by making home a refuge and place of beauty. It gave me such peace to read it. You can google for the link--I'm sorry, I can't find it at the moment.

[Ferdie]

I get inspiration from books, websites and visiting other people's homes.

 

My most helpful routine is having a written morning routine and cleaning routine.

 

When we are in a busy season and I get behind in cleaning or paperwork I love using the crisis cleaning tip from Flylady. I set the timer for 20 minutes and work on my first project (like straightening the house) then reset the timer and move on to the next project (like cleaning the kitchen). I just keep going until the work is done.

 

Our house is not very peaceful, partly because we are raising 3 adopted foster children. My youngest has special needs and my two boys frequently verbally spar. I think my dh and I are OK with this partly because we had 12 years of peaceful marriage before becoming parents. Also we are in this together and would rather raise three children in need with discord than help no one in peace.

 

To create atmosphere I love lighting candles. Someone on this message board recommended the sage and citrus candle from Yankee Candles. I use their air freshener wall plug in near our powder room and have the same scent candle in the kitchen. I love the scent because when I cook the smells all blend together. Some of the other candle scents I've tried really don't blend well with food smells.

 

I use a household notebook and a wall calendar to track everything. The household notebook has 7 dividers: Planning, Family, Home Management, Activities, Special Projects, Health and Meals. I love our wall calendar. It has 5 slots along the top where you write down the names of family members so everyone has their own space for activities. I keep in on a bulletin board in our kitchen. I need to find out where my MIL bought it because I would love to have a new one for next year.

 

I am looking forward to reading the other responses.

Edited November 5, 2008 by Ferdie

[battlemaiden]

I stay home.

 

That is the main thing. If I am here, I can do what I need to do and be rested and cheerful.

 

If I leave, things fall apart all over. A pretty typical week finds me going to church on Sunday morning, and staying home again until the following Sunday morning except for running to piano lessons on Wednesdays. Of course we may visit friends or have another family activity on some evenings, but for the most part I stay home.

 

How?

 

Do you do any grocery shopping, clothes shopping, car repairs and medical/dental appointments, children's activities?

 

I am a complete homebody by nature, and granted my dh is at sea currently, but I still need to leave the house weekly when he is home. I agree that staying home rather than flitting all over is ideal, but a need to know how you manage the above. How old are your children and how many do you have? Does your husband run all the errands?

 

Jo

[Rosie_0801]

I plan a menu every week and shop once a week. This keeps my stress down because I know what we're eating, and I know I have the food for the week. I also don't waste time running around.

 

Oh, doesn't that make a difference! I'm pregnant, so dh is doing the shopping. He's down the shops probably three times a week, instead of just the once, since I'm not able to help. The less time you spend at the shops, the more time you actually have to cook the food! I try to plan an interesting menu, otherwise I get bored, but I think life is much happier for everyone if there's a decent meal available. Skimping on breakfast doesn't start the day off well. Dh likes to open a jar of prepared sauce, but I rather cook from scratch. The food has better atmosphere that way. Hmm. That sounds a bit silly...

 

:)

Rosie

[JoyfulMama]

Then: Whereas I also grew up in the 80s, with a mother who would do as little as possible at home, I did not learn how to be a 'good homemaker.' I have struggled since I got married with how to cook, clean, make my home a sanctuary for our family. My husband's definition of clean and mine have never seemed to meet, which was frustrating to me.

I had been doing a Flylady approach diligently for about a year now, and still felt like I was struggling, and was exhausted every night. But my house was clean and welcoming. But I needed to have two 'home days' each week, or things really fell off track.

Recently, my husband became unemployed, and has been home... something that took some getting used to! Anyway, last week he declared a family meeting at breakfast, and declared some new rules: Those who sit down to eat together, get up together and clean up together. All must participate in morning cleaning routine until all chores are done.

At first, I took this as a slight against my routine, that I STILL was not living up to his expectations of a clean house. We had a discussion about it, in which he explained that he felt I was doing too much - I did all the cooking and cleaning for the entire house - and that was not right. He was not right in expecting me to do all of that plus be a teacher to our kids. So in order to free up more time for me to teach and be a mom instead of the cleaning lady, the entire family must take responsibility for the house.

So now, every morning, we all get up, get dressed, make beds, start laundry, do general pickup, empty trash cans, recycling, swish and swipe in bathrooms, empty dishwasher, and he does vacuuming while I start breakfast. After breakfast, we all clean up the dishes, load dishwasher, wipe down table and chairs (I have messy eaters) and sweep floor.

This before breakfast routine is taking one hour. Laundry can be switched before we eat. After breakfast cleanup, we spend a few minutes in a designated room, making it shine (dust, mirrors, windows, baseboards). We have 12 rooms, so each room gets detail once every other week (no Sunday detail).

It's been taking about 1 hour before breakfast, and then a bit more after til we are ready to take on the rest of the day. Then all chores are behind us, and I don't feel like to have to fit 5-10 minute chores in the rest of the day. After lunch and dinner, again all that sit help to clean up. Dishwasher is run at bedtime, in order to catch any lagging glasses, or dessert dishes.

I did give the kids morning chores to do before, but everything seemed to be separate, and this seems to work better for us because we are all working cooperatively toward a daily common goal.

[Tracy in Ky]

How?

 

Do you do any grocery shopping, clothes shopping, car repairs and medical/dental appointments, children's activities?

 

I am a complete homebody by nature, and granted my dh is at sea currently, but I still need to leave the house weekly when he is home. I agree that staying home rather than flitting all over is ideal, but a need to know how you manage the above. How old are your children and how many do you have? Does your husband run all the errands?

 

Jo

 

Those are good questions.

 

Mainly I combine trips. So, if dd has an orthodontist appt., it is usually right before piano lessons. We generally don't have many medical appts--I have my yearly exam, and we have teeth cleaning every 6 months. Both dc (ds 14 and dd8) get their teeth cleaned at the same time, so that appt. is combined. They had their cleaning last week so we did Wal-Mart, dentist, free taco at Taco Bell, and a trip to my Dad's all in the same trip.

 

Dh pays the bills and takes care of car stuff (like the new tires that we recently put on the van. If the van is in the shop, then of course we both have to go retrieve it). He runs most errands since he works in town.

 

I like to grocery shop on Sunday, since I am in town then. But if I have another run into town, I'll combine what I need to. As far as kids' activities, I already mentioned ds's piano lesson. The only other thing he does is play Ultimate Frisbee on Sunday afternoons. This past Sunday, our pastor's wife took him to the game and brought him home since they were going anyway. Other days, dh takes him. Dd only has 4-H sewing and needlework, and they only meet once a month.

 

Clothes shopping doesn't happen very often; we really try to do with what we have. (:lol: I guess when you stay home, you don't need a big wardrobe). But when we do, it too is combined with grocery and/or a family trip to town.

 

In my post I didn't say I never go any place, but typically I stay put. This past Friday we had a family trip to a friends house (10 minutes away), and this coming Friday we are going visiting (another home 10 minutes away).

 

So here is how this week is shaping up: I went to church Sunday, and we ran errands. I have not left my little country community since then, and I won't until Saturday--special day because my b-day is coming up and my inlaws are visiting and we'll go out to eat in town.

 

Maybe the answer is that I combine, and go only when I have to. I wait until enough things pile up so that the trip really counts, then I can go home and stay for days and days. :D I've been known to change appts. so that the appt. falls on a convenient day--so that it can be combined.

 

 

Did all that make sense?

[TXMomof4]

I have to tell you, twice today when I've glanced at this post I thought it said international homemakers. I was in a hurry, so I just wondered what in the heck an international homemaker was.

 

The only thing I do intentionally these days is make sure the path to my room from the kids room is clear so no one damages little toes on the way to my bed in the middle of the night. :glare:

[HootyTooty]

Has anyone found an online homemaker planner they like. I have Pam Socolow's Family Facts on on the go, but I would love to have an computer version as well.

 

I should add I have been taking my role in the home seriously since this past summer. My husband voiced some concerns to me that I now realize how I was taking our home and him for granted. I'm still trying to balance some things. My biggest obstacle was accepting that laundry is an everyday chore and work from their. Smaller piles of clothing are much more manageable than doing a family of 4 plus, sheets, towels, and other misc items.

 

I also assign a room a day to deep clean. So far so good.

Edited November 5, 2008 by HootyTooty
pressed submit too soon.

[Tree House Academy]

The staying home thing makes sense to me, but I think it would be hard for someone who lived in a city to grasp. Here is my situation: a drive to our small town (with a few grocery stores, a dollar general, and 3 places to eat) takes 15 minutes. A drive to the town with the closest wal-mart, decent doctors, etc. take a little under an hour. So, yeah, I do a lot of combining when we have to go down the mountian. It is a long trip and wears us all out. My dh makes that trip DAILY for work, so often times, he does do the grocery shopping and such since he is already there. It makes a difference when it is inconvenient to go to "town." And I am pretty sure only us small town country folks totally understand that! LOL

[Tree House Academy]

Now, for my answer to the op's question:

 

I used to be an absolute dream of a housewife. When my oldest son was a toddler and I was married to my ex, I kept the house neat as could be, cooked supper each night, etc. As a matter of fact, even after my divorce, I was superwoman. Then, later on, I was single, worked full time, kept the house spotless, cared for my son. Oh joy, oh boy. That is how my OCD came out, I guess. Then, I met my current dh (who thought I was the best thing since sliced bread in the huswifery department), got pregnant with my little one, quit my job to be a SAHM, and got depressed. When I was moving all the time at warp speed, I was doing all these other things...but neglecting my son! He would be in daycare from 7am until 6pm each day and with his dad some weekends. It was EASY to be superwoman...but I was certainly not super MOM. My current dh is definitely not thrilled with my housekeeping skills these days...but most days, I would rather be playing with the kids or going to the park or library, or having a happy meal than cleaning the house until it is spotless. My dh has learned to live with it....and of course, it is not BAD. I can't live with too much clutter or mess, but, let's just say that it would definitely NOT pass the white glove test these days...so don't even try. LOL

[KerriF]

Books: http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Organized-Homemaker-Secrets-Uncluttering/dp/1558703616/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225930115&sr=8-2 and http://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Art-Domesticity-Stitching-Comforts/dp/1584797363/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225930268&sr=1-1 (I have asked for this for Christmas so I haven't read it myself) I know there are other books that I have enjoyed but I can't think of them. If I do I will post the titles.

 

Websites: http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/

 

Magazines: Cooking Light and Family Fun (I find that these keep things interesting for me and I can find new things to try)

 

Routines: This school year we have a cleaning day. We clean on Friday mornings and both of my boys help. My 8 yr old cleans the tub, toliet, sweeps, and mops in their bathroom. This helps me alot so that I'm only cleaning 1 and 1/2 baths. My 5 yr old empties the trash cans dusts their desks and sweeps the powder room. They both empty the recycling and have to pick up the play room and bed room. They have morning chores too: make bed, get dressed, wipe sinks, empty dishwasher, and we do a "quick clean up" in the afternoon. While they are doing their daily chores I try to make sure that I am doing my daily chores as well (this have been a little more difficult lately as I am 37 weeks pregnant) It has helped so much for them to do some of the work. This means that I can get to the rest of the house and we can have it all finished in a reasonable amount of time. Having a designated cleaning day has been huge for us.

 

Another routine is meal planning. Things go so much better when I know what we are having for dinner ahead of time. I must admit that I am partial to eating out but I am trying to get better about this. A well stocked pantry and shopping the weekly sales means that I am ready to throw something together if I have too.

 

Along the same lines as meal planning I try to make big batches of chicken stock, spagehetti sauce and such to save myself time in the long run.

 

Before I was pregnant I had a baking day but that has gone by the wayside at least for a little while.

 

I think that turning off the TV is the best way of getting everything done and creating a peaceful atmoshpere. It took some getting used to (and we will have to adjust again after the baby comes because the TV has been on more these last few weeks for pregnancy) but we don't have the TV on Monday-Thursday and then on Friday the boys can watch a movie.

 

I have a day planner/wallet that I keep in my purse. Everything goes on that. I used have a Palm Pilot but I like paper and pencil so I switched. I haven't figured out what to do with all of my phone numbers and addresses yet. I have a home notebook and a school notebook. I use the school notebook but not the home notebook as much. I would like to be more purposeful with that.

 

hth

[Dawn in OH]

I have three children, ages 15 months, 6 and 7 years old. Right now we only have one car, and my husband works a schedule of 12/8/12/8.

 

It took me a while after the youngest child to get a good (new) system down, but now I think I have it all worked it.

 

During the week, if I need anything my husband stops at the store on the way home. He also sometimes makes a library stop for me. I order my materials online and have them waiting for him at the library.

 

I don't have a dishwasher. After each time we eat something throughout the day I do a small batch of dishes right away.

 

I also wipe down the stove top and sweep the kitchen floor after each time I cook. This keeps it so that I never have to do a HUGE kitchen clean up.

 

Monday morning while we are working on school work I usually do a load of laundry or two. After the school work is done I usually bake bread. The kids and I have dinner before my husband gets home at 8PM. His dinner is waiting for him when he gets home.

 

Tuesday morning during school time I do another load of laundry. My husband gets home early that day and does a reading lesson with 6 and 7 year olds while I get dinner ready.

 

Wednesday morning I do, yes, another load of laundry! After school is finished on Wednesday's I wash the kitchen floor and clean the bathroom, and vacuum.

 

because

 

On Thursdays we have a mother and her 3 children come over for a play date. There's no laundry today because of the play date.

 

Friday it's another load of laundry during school work. Maybe two, I try to avoid laundry on the weekends unless there's an emergency load that needs done. Sometimes we do a field trip or take a hike in the park.

 

On Saturday morning, my husband and I get together and do any remaining cleaning that needs done. Which means, he dusts all the high spots that I can't reach, changes light bulbs, repairs anything the kids and I broke during the week, etc. Working together gets it all done much faster leaving us more free time later in the day. Saturday after chores we may have a shopping trip, and/or something fun to do. We try to hit the library too.

 

The older kids help fold laundry. They fold and put away their own clothes and fold towels and washcloths. They also help dust and clean up any toys the baby has scattered around the living room.

 

I plan meals a few days in advance. I inventory the pantry/fridge/freezer each time I take something out, it saves time when I need to come up with a shopping list.

 

The kids clean their rooms each evening before bed.

 

My theory is, if I stay on top of everything and never let anything turn into a BIG mess, there will never be a lot of work that all needs done. It works pretty well, and it makes it easier if a last minute visit or something to do comes up.

 

My house is always CLEAN, it just may not always be tidy. There's generally a few toys on the living room and papers, crayons, scissors, and glue on the kitchen table.

[Sharon H in IL]

Deneice Schofield's Confessions of an Organized Homemaker and Confessions of a Happily Organized Family are wonderful and to the point. Order makes peace possible. Doesn't *make* it happen, but allows space for it to happen.

 

I'm also savoring Mary Beth Lagerborg's Dwelling: Living Fully From the Space You Call Home. She is one of the authors of Once-a-Month Cooking. I think Lagerborg's book is much better than the widely celebrated Edith Schaeffer's The Hidden Art of Homemaking. It discusses how the longing for home gives us an opportunity to make our homes into really soul-enriching places. Highly recommended.

 

BTW, I learned homemaking skills as a girl, but I'm learning the joyful side of the work only now, as an adult. FlyLady taught me how to put all the work into a routine that avoided the traps of procrastination on one hand and over-analyzing on the other.

[3lilreds in NC]

 

Here is the link to When Queens Ride, just in case anyone was interested.

[PollyOR]

I like this planner for the computer: Daily Home Planner

 

I stay home.

 

That is the main thing. If I am here, I can do what I need to do and be rested and cheerful.

 

 

 

Oh, how I WISH I could do this. We aren't involved in sports or music lessons, but I am constantly driving my kids to town for doctor's appointments and church meetings. I really want to stay home and I am being chastised by my MIL for it. She says it is part of being a mother. When I tried to talk to her about my frustrations her solution was...guess...put the kids in public school. :banghead:

[TMarie]

Managers of Their Homes by Teri Maxwell http://www.rainbowresource.com/product/Managers+of+Their+Homes/003890/1225968874-102074

 

I've had a long path toward learning to manage my home. Growing up with a working mom, I was lost after deciding to be a stay-at-home mom. FlyLady helped a lot! But, I needed a system that I could live with forever. Managers of Their Homes helped me to find solutions that would work for our family. I think her system is a bit overly-complicated (I do have several friends who use it to a tee and love it.) Yet, this book was huge in changing my aprroach to housework. Some of her ideas that inspired me.....

Routines, routines, routines.

(ex. laundry every day, at the same time.)

Everyone has a chore & school routine

(even I have a chart.... everyone knows what they should be doing & when)

I have to teach the kids how to work

Why should I expect them to know how to pick up a room or wipe the sink if I've never taken time to teach them step-by-step?

 

I love this thread! :001_wub:

Thanks everyone for the great ideas & motivating thoughts!

[8filltheheart]

Here are 2 resource that specifically relate to sancifying our work as housewives and/or homeschooling moms. They are Catholic resources; I don't know your theological perspective, but I thought I would share them.

 

Holiness for Housewives

 

Housewives: learn how you can stay serene — and even find God —amid the dishes and the diapers!

 

This unique spiritual guide will help you grow holier and more prayerful as you perform the most menial household chores -- not in spite of those chores, but in the midst of them.

 

Written especially for women in charge of households, Holiness for Housewives will help you better understand and respect your vocation as a housewife -- and discover in it your own God-given path to sanctity.

 

This handy guide will show you how to:

 

 

• Find meaning in even the most boring work
  
• Pray in the midst of a bustling household
  
• Bear the stress of those long days in which the work never seems to end
  
• Develop a greater awareness of God’s presence -- even amid the diapers and the dirty dishes
  
• Learn to rely more on your will and less on emotions, when life seems to be an endless round of drudgery
  

 

 

Handle your burdens and sorrows with prayers that are especially fashioned for housewives

Let Holiness for Housewives show you how to find and savor the lasting pleasures that await you in your noble, God-given vocation as a housewife!

 

“In our day, when so many are seeking ways to combat fatigue and weariness of spirit, Dom van Zeller points out a sure way to this desired peace. Written with charm and a fine sense of humor.â€

 

http://www.sophiainstitute.com/productdetails.cfm?sku=476

 

 

A Mother's Rule of Life

 

On January 1, 2000, Holly Pierlot pounded her fist on the kitchen table and yelled at her husband, “I can’t take it anymore!â€

 

Motherhood and homeschooling had overwhelmed her. The house was dirty, the laundry undone. Holly felt frustrated, discouraged, and alone. She couldn’t find time to snuggle and have fun with her five children or to go out with her husband. Yes, she loved Philip and she did love God, but she had come to resent Philip’s freedom and she almost never found time for prayer.

 

Today, everything’s better.

 

Holly still homeschools, but the house is cleaner, she gets more done, and the kids are happier. There’s less stress, less strife, and less housework. Holly’s been healed of past wounds that troubled her soul and her marriage. Best of all, she spends at least an hour each day in prayer and time each evening with Philip.

 

Holly brought about these changes with what she calls her Mother’s Rule of Life, a pattern for living that combines the spiritual wisdom of the monastery with the practical wisdom of motherhood.

 

Holly’s Rule is not just another set of schedules; it’s a way for Christian mothers to answer God’s call to holiness.

 

With the help of your own Rule, you can get control of your own household, grow closer to God, come to love your husband more, and raise up good Christian children. In these wise and practical pages, Holly shows you how.

 

Do you want to be a better wife and mother? To have more order in your life? To grow in union with God? Are you desperate yet?

 

With your own Mother’s Rule of Life, you’ll transform motherhood and its burdens into the joyful vocation it’s meant to be. Learn from Holly Pierlot how to craft a Rule that’s right for you and your family. Then use that Rule to help God draw you, your husband, and each of your children into Heaven!

 

http://www.sophiainstitute.com/productdetails.cfm?PC=253

[Quiver0f10]

I stay home.

 

That is the main thing. If I am here, I can do what I need to do and be rested and cheerful.

 

If I leave, things fall apart all over. A pretty typical week finds me going to church on Sunday morning, and staying home again until the following Sunday morning except for running to piano lessons on Wednesdays. Of course we may visit friends or have another family activity on some evenings, but for the most part I stay home.

 

 

I really miss those days. I feel that staying home helps a lot with keeping everything organized and my attitude. When I am running in and out everyday , my attitude goes downhill and nothing gets done @ the house.

[PineFarmMom]

Great Post!!! I'm looking forward to replies. Cooking is part of my mix here. I'm doing better about decorating than I used to. I need guidance in this area more than I need to offer assistance, so I think I'll just read.

[TammyinTN]

Well since I'm in day 2 of theray cleaning here's what I do.

 

I stay home mostly M-F, except maybe dinner out with our family. I keep everything done during the week. M-W-F a load of darks/whites keeps everything in check. I do towels and sheets one of those days as well. I wipe down the bathrooms daily and toss trash daily and recycles daily. I swiffer dust everyday...but I power dust once a week. That means with pledge and wiping everything down. I clean out the refrig on Thursdays and wipe it out once a month. I wipe down baseboards monthly as well as little spots on the walls and mop twice weekly and vacuum daily.

 

Each night before bedtime everything is put away from that day. I unload the dishwasher and make sure we are ready to go in the morning with school first thing. I also grade my papers each night and put them back in the proper folders...this really helps keep me on track daily.

[HootyTooty]

I like this planner for the computer: Daily Home Planner

 

 

I will have to check that out. I also found the site Remember the Milk that can be integrated into gmail and other applications.

 

Does anyone does intentional baking days? That would be something I would love to have a buddy for (I bake but I get lonely by myself).

[Rich with Kids]

Here are some websites that inspire me:

 

Pleasant View Schoolhouse

 

Org Junkie

 

Nesting Place

 

Menus4Moms

[laughing lioness]

Wanted to suggest "Creating a Beautiful Life" by Alexandra Stoddard.

[Tracy in Ky]

Here are some websites that inspire me:

Pleasant View Schoolhouse

Org Junkie

Nesting Place

Menus4Moms

 

Thanks for those links. I love Pleasant View Schoolhouse, but the others are new to me.

[laughing lioness]

True confessions- just went over to Mt Pleasant View and am in full feel like a failure mode. I'm still in my p.j.s drinking really bad coffee, 2 of the kids just got up and I'm still feeling rilly, rilly lousy because every election we were rooting and campaigning for lost. We've done little school this week, my house is a mess, it's not decorated, the fridge is yucky and I honestly haven't decorated (we have done majore home improvement but it's not the same- kwim? - since we moved here 5 years ago (in my own defense we have plaster walls and that does make it harder to hang things), I haven't sewn, scrapbooked, knitted, crafted, quilted or really enjoyed cooking since we moved here either.

Sigh.

[Colleen in NS]

Wanted to suggest "Creating a Beautiful Life" by Alexandra Stoddard.

 

I love her books.