38carrots Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 (edited) When someone draws attention to you blushing? This is what happend today. I was in a small group / class. I sneezed. At that moment I was away from the main group, so didn't say "excuse me", as not to interrupt the group further. The instructor brought attention to my sneeze in a funny and rather prolonged way. Everyone turned around and stared at me for a good 45 seconds, which felt much longer lol. While I found the instructor's little "act" inoffensive and funny, I still blushed. Then someone, said, "Aww, you're blushing!" I think of myself as comfortable with myself and how I am. I'm more introverted than extraverted, but overall pretty balanced and I feel at ease in group situations. And yet I consider a comment about my blushing rather intrusive and possibly even rude. I feel that lately (as I'm getting older?) I want to be more short with people like this--say something back. Like, "Yeah, I blush easily. What's your point?" lol I'm not upset, but I have no patience for such behaviors. I'm kinda "done" with ignoring. Is it intrusive / rude, or am I over-reacting? How would you reply? Edited May 5, 2017 by 38carrots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I would wish the person hadn't said anything, but I would assume she didn't mean to upset or embarrass me, so I would probably just laugh it off. I can understand how it would make you feel uncomfortable, though! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 (edited) I think there might be a few tones of voice in which this comment might be legitimately offensive -- but for the most part I don't think it's (usually) rude or intrusive. (At least it's most likely intended inoffensively.) Most people who don't struggle with easy blushing probably think of blushing as a "cute" thing, and are therefore saying that they think you are cute. Other possible motives: They might also be leading up to an apology, "Oh, you're blushing! I didn't mean to embarrass you." Or they could be trying to cue the group that things have gone far enough by 'announcing' that you don't seem to be enjoying the attention. ETA: I probably wouldn't reply at all, or I would bean-dip the conversation back to the original topic. Edited May 5, 2017 by bolt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I think the comment was rude (as was the teacher drawing attention to your sneeze) but unless the tone was cruel it was rude only in a mildly teasing way. I don't generally feel a need to police that kind of behavior in others so I wouldn't say anything. At the same time if you want to say something go ahead :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 I think there might be a few tones of voice in which this comment might be legitimately offensive -- but for the most part I don't think it's (usually) rude or intrusive. (At least it's most likely intended inoffensively.) Most people who don't struggle with easy blushing probably think of blushing as a "cute" thing, and are therefore saying that they think you are cute. Other possible motives: They might also be leading up to an apology, "Oh, you're blushing! I didn't mean to embarrass you." Or they could be trying to cue the group that things have gone far enough by 'announcing' that you don't seem to be enjoying the attention. ETA: I probably wouldn't reply at all, or I would bean-dip the conversation back to the original topic. Hm, that's interesting. I don't think I blush "cute," but I guess that's pretty unusual for an adult to blush over nothing. It was not said in a way as to lead to an apology etc. Yeah, I replied with a bean-dip. I wonder if I'm partially over-reacting because I don't like this woman much lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Hm, that's interesting. I don't think I blush "cute," but I guess that's pretty unusual for an adult to blush over nothing. It was not said in a way as to lead to an apology etc. Yeah, I replied with a bean-dip. I wonder if I'm partially over-reacting because I don't like this woman much lol. Is it possible that she caused you to feel 'childish' (and therefore inferior to her)? That would be particularly loathesome from someone you dislike. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I blush easily. I prefer that people don't comment, but if they do I laugh and that's pretty much the end of it. I can't imagine a comeback that wouldn't make the blush worse, but if you can pull it off for all of us easy blushers, and get the point across - go for it! I'm not uncomfortable with blushing, most of the time. I have a heart condition that causes a red face at times, and if I drink wine I have permanent rosy cheeks from the second sip. Since I like wine, eh, I live with it. But I'm all for someone else sticking up for the team! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted May 5, 2017 Author Share Posted May 5, 2017 I cannot stand it when someone makes a comment on someone else blushing. It feels like they're trying to make it worse. Of course, part of that is tone, and I'm not sure of the tone used in the op. But most times I've experienced it, the person who draws attention to it is trying to make it worse. I feel it is in the same line as drawing attention to one's appearance out of context. I just wouldn't do it in a group of relative strangers. I guess drawing attention to my blushing wasn't as bad as that woman who asked me, in a group of relative strangers, whether I had heavy periods (completely unrelated to the conversation we were having!) Immediately followed by, "I hope it wasn't too personal of a question, hon." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndGenHomeschooler Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I blush sooo easily! If I'm hot, cold, singing, laughing (even a little), upset, one jumping jack into a workout, someone says something that could possibly be construed as slightly embarrassing to someone else the next zip code over...it all makes me turn red. My dad gets red very easily too so I guess I get it from him. I'm also very fair skinned so it's hard to miss. I wish I didn't blush so easily but there's nothing I can do about it. People comment and that makes it worse. I usually just try to change the subject. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 It's mocking and rude in the context you gave. Tone deaf not to realize you were blushing because you were embarrassed and then further embarrassing you? Rude, rude, rude. I can imagine contexts where it wouldn't be. Teasing between close friends telling an embarrassing or blush-worthy ;) story or something. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Not joking....reading this made me blush. I blush easily, and even thinking about it makes me turn bright pink. I can feel my cheeks burning, and my ears. Sigh. I have not found anything that helps. :( 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Hm, that's interesting. I don't think I blush "cute," but I guess that's pretty unusual for an adult to blush over nothing. It was not said in a way as to lead to an apology etc. Yeah, I replied with a bean-dip. I wonder if I'm partially over-reacting because I don't like this woman much lol. Well, if you think she doesn't like you much, either, I'll bet you have good reason to believe she was intentionally trying to embarrass you. I hate it when people try to get a laugh at another person's expense. Hopefully, other people got the same impression you did and were silently wishing she would shut up and leave you alone. Most people don't like to see another person being made to feel uncomfortable, so I'll bet that woman was the one who came across poorly to the others in the class. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSmomof2 Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I blush easily. I prefer that people don't comment, but if they do I laugh and that's pretty much the end of it. I can't imagine a comeback that wouldn't make the blush worse, but if you can pull it off for all of us easy blushers, and get the point across - go for it! I'm not uncomfortable with blushing, most of the time. I have a heart condition that causes a red face at times, and if I drink wine I have permanent rosy cheeks from the second sip. Since I like wine, eh, I live with it. But I'm all for someone else sticking up for the team! ^^^ITA.....I also blush easily (more like get splotchy red, definitely not cute), and hate having attention drawn to it. But, I try to laugh it off and act casual about it. I've never been able to think of a comeback that would make it better. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I used to blush easily, as a teen, and I hated when someone called attention to it in front of a crowd (I even had teachers who did that), because there really is not one thing you can do about it, and any type of comeback just sounds dumb and defensive. All you can do is kind of laugh it off and pretend it doesn't bother you. I think generally people aren't really trying to poke fun of you or embarrass you even more than you already are, at least. I think they're just clueless. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I think it's extremely rude to call attention to anyone's appearance in a group situation or if you don't know that person very well. If I'm alone with my best friend and I kid her about blushing easily that's okay. If we're in our core group of friends (just four of us who have been friends for decades) that's okay, too. But in a larger group? Definitely not okay. IMO even saying something totally complimentary about someone's appearance in a group situation is definitely not okay. It's rude to call attention to anyone's appearance while in a group setting, even in a complimentary way, unless everyone in the group is extremely well acquainted and friendly. Still . . . I wouldn't do it. Walking up to a stranger and saying anything about their appearance that isn't one hundred percent, w/o a doubt complimentary . . . not okay. But of course people do it all the time. The older I get the less patience I have for it. Like J-rap said, I do think (hope) a lot of it is simple cluelessness, and that's all that keeps me from really unloading on people sometimes. I bite my tongue a lot. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Library Momma Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I do think that the instructor was out of line and acting childish, but in a million years I wouldn't think that mentioning that someone is blushing would offend them. I would think that the other student felt that way as well. Sometimes people don't realize that something that wouldn't bother them would be highly offensive to another so it doesn't even occur to them to hold their tongue. I don't think that people are trying to embarrass you, maybe they are genuinely surprised. My freshman year of college I tried on one of my friends glasses for fun. The prescription was very strong and not thinking I said "Wow, your eyesight is pretty bad." She was so hurt and offended that I said that she didn't speak with me for weeks. Now, I would never say something like "Wow, you're short" but I didn't think eyesight was a subject to be sensitive about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Person was being rude and ridiculous, but what can ya do? I guess I'd just think to myself at this point that nobody else is thinking about this right now. Really, not one person from the group is at this moment giving any of this a second thought. So try and let it go. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 (edited) Jokes made at others expense aren't helpful, and in this case took away from the focus of the class. The instructor is a double loser for doing that. I'm all for humour used in classrooms/presentations, but not directly at someone's expense when they didn't choose to be part of the joke. Going to a stand-up comedy routine you kind of choose to be there and take what might be dished out in the spirit of humour. Not in a classroom. Sorry you were put on the spot that way. I think I blush, too. I get red in the face so much with exercise, wine, etc. that no one comments much anymore. It's a cross I have to bare. :laugh: Edited May 5, 2017 by wintermom 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTRMom Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I assume the question is, when someone says "you're blushing," what's the graceful response? It's really hard to have one, which makes it a very awkward comment. I think I might nod, say "excuse me," smile, and make that hand-waving turn-away-from-me guesture. Or you could say, "you're right," and wait politely for everyone to move on. Or "yes, you're staring!" Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLife Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 I used to blush easily. As I have gotten older, it doesn't happen as often (I have no idea why). I hated blushing as a young person, and I hated it even more when someone called attention to it. As a fellow introvert, I would not have liked attention being called to me in a group especially if the attention was negative (as in your case), but I also probably wouldn't speak up for myself. Anyway, I have no advice, but I understand. I hope you find the right words to say in those situations. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 Blush more, look away, and say nothing. Even if their interpretation of why I'm blushing is way off. Just happened yesterday. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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