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Help me find a comfortable bra

Carol in Cal.

By Carol in Cal.,
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Carol in Cal.

Carol in Cal.

Posted
Posted

Good gosh, I hate wearing them and shopping for them now.

 

They dig into my shoulders SO MUCH, even when I let out the strap length as maximally as possible.

 

What I would like:

1.  Strapless

2.  Or, with straps that I can swap out for longer ones purchasable on Ebay

AND (key!)

3.  Front closing

 

Size:  Not sure.  Usually 42-44, and D-DD.  However, this week I tried on a strapless (back closure) 44DD at Soma and it was way too tight.  So maybe in a strapless I would be a 46.  

 

I liked the Soma bralettes that they had 3 years ago, but the newer ones have (you guessed it!) tighter straps again.  I don't care about wirefree vs. underwire or materials, as long as they aren't horribly itchy.  I don't want padded, but a light smoothing action is my favorite.

 

Does what I want even exist???

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lanabug

lanabug

Posted
Posted

I'm going to venture a guess that you're not wearing the right size bra. Have you been fitted lately? I would suggest trying a smaller band size and larger cup. Nearly all your support comes from the band, not the straps.

 

I totally feel your pain with bra shopping! I wear a 36G...very hard to find unless I spend big bucks. I recently had to buy a strapless bra, so I went to Dillards in the mall where the lingerie department is huge.  I had ONE bra to pick from. Luckily it fit. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't!

 

Lana

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prairiewindmomma

prairiewindmomma

Posted
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I'm going to venture a guess that you're not wearing the right size bra. Have you been fitted lately? I would suggest trying a smaller band size and larger cup. Nearly all your support comes from the band, not the straps.

 

I totally feel your pain with bra shopping! I wear a 36G...very hard to find unless I spend big bucks. I recently had to buy a strapless bra, so I went to Dillards in the mall where the lingerie department is huge.  I had ONE bra to pick from. Luckily it fit. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't!

 

Lana

 

Lana--Order bras online! Amazon has a decent selection, and there are a number of decent places online.....  I agree, it is very hard to find G cups!  Also, do you know about this place? http://www.herroom.com/plus-size-bra-cup-size-cross-reference,949,30.html  Anita, Elomi and Wacoal have been my favorite brands. 

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jeremmy

jeremmy

Posted
Posted

Herroom.com has a great range of sizes. Definitely make sure you are measuring correctly first. Most women don't know their correct size. If your bras dig in, they are not the correct size. Just remember that if you go down in band, you need to go up in cup. And vice versa.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Supertechmom

Supertechmom

Posted
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Okay..... I finally found bras that are perfect and here's how I did it.

 

I read everything over at the above mentioned link on Reddit and used their beginner guide 

https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/wiki/beginners_guide

 

It has never failed me.  Doing that type of measurement completely changed my size by a freaking TON!!!!! The first time I did this, my band went down from a 40 to a 36 and the cup went from a DD to a G.  Once I get the band size and proper cup size, I look at sister size charts

 

http://www.sizechart.com/brasize/sistersize/index.html

 

Then I took the following survey:

 

http://www.herroom.com/know-your-breasts/Questions.aspx

 

From there,  I used the site's suggested bras for the above type.   For me, I can't use a one piece cup,  because it is too loose at the top of the cup, so I have to have bra cups that are 3 piece along with a few other particulars that make the bra perfect for me.   I do this whenever I lose a lot of weight and change shape.   IF the bras begin to feel funny, tight, loose, digging in, then I know it's time to remeasure and resize.

 

I've been doing this for about 3-4 years now and love my bras now.  Once you get one that fits "right", you will totally love it!   I now have a bra type that looks good on me and feels right.  I play around with variations of it but I've marked my all time favorite and hunt bras that have the same construction and makeup.   I've narrowed it down to about 3 variations that I know will be perfect in the right size.   

 

Well worth the time and effort to get those things right!

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eternalsummer

eternalsummer

Posted
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I stopped wearing bras long ago.  No joke.  I don't wear them. 

 

LOL

 

Might not be the route you are looking to go. 

 

Do you not wear them out either? Do you feel weird?  I would love to quit bras but I think I would feel naked if I went out without one (not that they are doing much good anyway in the way of support).

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lanabug

lanabug

Posted
Posted

Lana--Order bras online! Amazon has a decent selection, and there are a number of decent places online.....  I agree, it is very hard to find G cups!  Also, do you know about this place? http://www.herroom.com/plus-size-bra-cup-size-cross-reference,949,30.html  Anita, Elomi and Wacoal have been my favorite brands. 

 

I've thought about that so many times...just hate to get something that doesn't fit quite right. I am very narrow-shouldered so I almost have to try on every bra to make sure the straps aren't set too wide for me.

 

I'll check out the site you linked...I do like Wacoal bras! My current favorite is Modern Movement. I can find it at Dillard's for around $40 and it fits perfectly!

 

Lana

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lanabug

lanabug

Posted
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Yeah but...

 

I need a strapless front closure bra, probably in a 46 something or a 44 something.

 

Does such an animal exist?  And if so, where?

 

I've never seen such a critter, but if you find one I'd like to know about it! That would be great! I hate trying to turn them around and I definitely can't do 4 hooks behind my back.

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SparklyUnicorn

SparklyUnicorn

Posted
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Do you not wear them out either? Do you feel weird?  I would love to quit bras but I think I would feel naked if I went out without one (not that they are doing much good anyway in the way of support).

 

I wear what is basically an undershirt.  It has no support, but ya know it's enough so you can't see through my shirt.  And yep I wear it out.

 

I did go out and buy a sports bra for the gym thinking I needed it for comfort while exercising.  A few times I forgot to put it on and so then I quit that too.  LOL  I figured why?  I did not even notice! 

 

To be fair, I'm not super big on top.  Although so what.  I don't know why we've been convinced we need to wear bras.  I know plenty of big booked people who don't wear one any chance they get. So why not just stop wearing them?

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SparklyUnicorn

SparklyUnicorn

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I feel like I would flop around without one.  I don't know why I feel the need to wear one either, though, except for social conditioning.  I mean, I don't dye my graying hair (at 32!) or wear makeup or nail polish or jewelry either, so why do I feel compelled about the bra?  I hate it.

 

Give it a try.  The undershirts are basically just thin strapped tank tops.  So nothing would flop around exactly, but it's not at all like a bra.  No straps that slip down or pinch or dig in.  No wires.  No strangulation.  Nothing.  Just like wearing a shirt.

 

That's all it is.  Social conditioning.

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Greta

Greta

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I absolutely 100% believe that women who don't want to wear bras should not feel compelled to wear bras just because it's a social norm.  Wear a soft bralette, wear a cami with a "shelf bra", wear a cami or other undershirt without a shelf bra, wear whatever the heck you want!

 

But I will say that I think a lot of the problems with bras being uncomfortable are not the fault of the bras themselves, but of really bad sizing/fitting methods.  Many years ago, before there were things like elastic and lycra, the band had to be oversized in order to give you room to breathe.  Now the room to breathe comes from the stretchiness of the fabric, and yet most lingerie retailers still have women using the old sizing method.  The result is that many women are sold a bra that's too large in the band, and too small in the cup.  So it rides up, or it digs in, or it pinches, or the shoulder straps are always falling off, or the shoulder straps are digging in too tight, or the underwire is sitting on top of breast tissue and hurting, etc.  A properly fitted bra is comfortable:  it stays in place, no readjusting it all day, and it "disappears" in the sense that once you've got it on you don't think about it anymore.  At least, that has certainly been my experience in going from the standard (Victoria's Secret) sizing method to the method I linked to above.  Night and day!

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SparklyUnicorn

SparklyUnicorn

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I absolutely 100% believe that women who don't want to wear bras should not feel compelled to wear bras just because it's a social norm.  Wear a soft bralette, wear a cami with a "shelf bra", wear a cami or other undershirt without a shelf bra, wear whatever the heck you want!

 

But I will say that I think a lot of the problems with bras being uncomfortable are not the fault of the bras themselves, but of really bad sizing/fitting methods.  Many years ago, before there were things like elastic and lycra, the band had to be oversized in order to give you room to breathe.  Now the room to breathe comes from the stretchiness of the fabric, and yet most lingerie retailers still have women using the old sizing method.  The result is that many women are sold a bra that's too large in the band, and too small in the cup.  So it rides up, or it digs in, or it pinches, or the shoulder straps are always falling off, or the shoulder straps are digging in too tight, or the underwire is sitting on top of breast tissue and hurting, etc.  A properly fitted bra is comfortable:  it stays in place, no readjusting it all day, and it "disappears" in the sense that once you've got it on you don't think about it anymore.  At least, that has certainly been my experience in going from the standard (Victoria's Secret) sizing method to the method I linked to above.  Night and day!

 

My bigger issue isn't even comfort.  It's material.  I get itchy if it's any sort of plastic material.  Even if the band is covered in fabric.  It just irritates the crud out of my skin. 

 

In fact when I wore the sports bra, I put it over my tank top.  Sounds weird, but the band would make me itch like crazy otherwise.

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Greta

Greta

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My bigger issue isn't even comfort.  It's material.  I get itchy if it's any sort of plastic material.  Even if the band is covered in fabric.  It just irritates the crud out of my skin. 

 

In fact when I wore the sports bra, I put it over my tank top.  Sounds weird, but the band would make me itch like crazy otherwise.

 

 

Ah, yes, fit is one major issue, but sometimes fabric is a major issue too.  I don't have this problem, but my daughter can definitely relate to what you're saying here.  She is unusually sensitive.  I buy her special seamless socks, and she has these two old worn-out Target bras that are the only ones she'll wear.  They don't make that exact design anymore, and we can't find anything else that doesn't drive her crazy!

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SparklyUnicorn

SparklyUnicorn

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Ah, yes, fit is one major issue, but sometimes fabric is a major issue too.  I don't have this problem, but my daughter can definitely relate to what you're saying here.  She is unusually sensitive.  I buy her special seamless socks, and she has these two old worn-out Target bras that are the only ones she'll wear.  They don't make that exact design anymore, and we can't find anything else that doesn't drive her crazy!

 

Oh yeah socks.  Don't get me started.  I discovered that my 11 year old's socks fit me the best.  LOL  So I buy the same ones for myself.

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eternalsummer

eternalsummer

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For me it is that I don't like any constriction at all on my ribcage.  Or anywhere, really.  I don't wear jeans either, or skirts with a buttoned waistband.  I like yoga top skirts, dresses, yoga pants, etc. A shelf bra has constriction, and a bralette has constriction.  I haven't worn an underwire in a decade.

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MercyA

MercyA

Posted
Posted (edited)

I wonder if the Un-Bra would work for you? It's not strapless, but the company will lengthen / shorten the shoulder straps, add a front closure, change the arm holes, use various fabrics for different levels of support, give you wide shoulder straps to ease pressure...it might be worth looking into. I could have sworn they used to sell a strapless version, but maybe not. You could ask about it. They are great with custom orders and will redo them if needed.

Edited by MercyA
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Lawana

Lawana

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I don't think I need a 46 unless it's strapless. Normally I'm a 42 or 44. Bali front closure bras fit me the best, but I still have the shoulder strap problems. As best as I have been able to ascertain, there is no such thing as a front closure strapless bra.

I was thinking about the front closure thing. It makes sense to not put one on a strapless bra because the fit would have to be absolutely perfect, and not stretch over time, which of course bras do. The fact that shoulder straps are digging in usually indicates that the band size is too big, shifting the support from the band to the shoulder straps. Have you tried a smaller band size while going up a cup size or two?

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mamashark

mamashark

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Do you not wear them out either? Do you feel weird?  I would love to quit bras but I think I would feel naked if I went out without one (not that they are doing much good anyway in the way of support).

 

I also rarely wear a bra - I have collected a bunch of shirts and dresses that have fronts that tend to "hide" it from others (dh and I have a code - I'll try on a shirt and he'll tell me if it works or not, that's my clue as to whether I can get away without a bra or no) If necessary I'll add a non-supportive cami under, and I have an infinity scarf that hides it when I wear a tighter fitting shirt. I'm also not very large up top, so that helps. I used some of the resources listed in this thread a while back and found 1 bra that fits mostly comfortably, but if I wear it, I still can't wait to take it off when I get home. 

 

Ironically my preteen is wearing training bras because she says they are more comfortable than nothing - so we regularly have conversations about choosing to dress in a way that makes you most comfortable!

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  • 4 years later...
Catwoman

Catwoman

Posted
Posted (edited)

Zombie thread. 🙂 

Edited to add — I reported the post by metoheg17 because she tried to include a link in her very first post to the forum, and although it doesn’t work, I was concerned that it might be spam (or worse, considering it’s about bras.🙈)

Edited by Catwoman
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  • 2 months later...
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