If you dress nice/fashionably and "fix yourself up", how do you do it?

[A.J. at J.A.]

Okay, I'm a very plain Jane. DH hasn't ever complained but I know he would prefer I dress more feminine & fix myself up (not like a model or movie star, but lose the pony tail, sweats & no make-up look.)

 

I'm actually very ashamed of my laziness in this area and went out to try to find a couple nice sweaters or something for this winter. We are on a tight budget and I honestly don't have any fashionable clothes that would be warm enough for this time of year. It was very discouraging. Everything that is currently "in-fashion" is either tight or not warm. Sweaters are either short arms or too tight or masculine. UGH!

 

Don't even get me started on my face (I have breakouts even though I'm close to 40) and wrinkles are starting! I'm very pale so the breakouts are a pink that really shows up unfortunately. My hair is dishwater blonde and has grey coming in but not too bad. I know DH prefers my hair long, but I'm thinking a style might be good. I always wear my hair up or back because I can't stand the feel of it on my neck.

 

Anyway, I'm not trying to diss myself to get pity. Just really really ashamed with myself right now and honestly don't know how to go about getting myself out of it. I've lost all pride in my appearance and am even more discouraged after my failed shopping trip this evening.

 

If you are somewhat fashionable and take pride in how you look, without being a beauty queen, can you give me some tips? If you are a plain Jane too that's fine...I'm not judging you. I don't really want anyone telling me it is okay for me to be this way, because although I agree it is okay if you choose to be this way, it is not a way I feel proud of and I WANT to change...I just don't know how.

 

Thanks!

Angela

[Stacia]

Don't know if this will be helpful or not, but cutting & pasting a reply I posted to a different thread....

 

"I used to dress very stylishly & nicely. Then I had kids. My size changed & I think I totally forgot/lost my sense of style. I decided I was fed up & wanted to get my sense of style back. I checked out a bunch of books from the library about fashion, style, wardrobe makeovers, etc.... I didn't read all of them in depth, but it renewed my interest in what I wanted to do w/ my wardrobe & helped me define a direction (so that, hopefully, I'll add nicer things in that will last for a long time & will be wise purchases that I love). The books reminded me of things like mixing & matching (I knew this, but it's still nice to read some concrete reminders), choosing a one or two-color base for your wardrobe w/ one or two accessory or highlight colors, basic pieces you need for a mix & match/pulled-together wardrobe, etc....

 

It also made me realize what style I have now (even though I wasn't showing it), helped me weed old stuff out of my closet, and gave me some direction as far as starting out again to rebuild my wardrobe & my personal style."

 

So, start w/ your library, imo (or a long evening browsing the bookstore & taking notes). :001_smile:

[lynn]

I like to "window shop" on line to see what's in then try to copy that. I watch What not to Wear probably a little to much. I buy a lot of clothes at Kohl's when they have discounts and bonus'. Occasionally Ann Taylor Loft. I buy a few choice pieces through lands end that are classics and better quality. Same with shoes. Over the years I've learned to go through my wardrobe every season and only keep things I really love and fit well and get rid of things that are worn so that what remains I can just throw on and go and feel good about. Asfar as make up. It took me a while to figure out what I really like. I prefer simple and I really like Bare Escentuals, it's expensive but lasts a really long time.

[Zelda]

I'm not sure that people would say I dress well or am fashionable, but I'm going to post anyway.

 

The books sound like a great idea. I would look for a book by Carmindy...I think its called "Five Minute Face" or something. I wear make-up 5 out of 7 days a week so I have practice and I cannot do that face in under 15 minutes but its a good guide.

 

I have a rule that I think has served me well...no sweats outside of the house. The years right after I had my first I really just let everything go and that was good because I needed my focus to be on figuring out my new life. But once I hit a groove with that I started to feel...off...unaccomplished...jealous of women who went to work and had a reason to make themselves look nice.

 

I thought, hey, I have a job. And I get dressed most mornings like I do. My job involves small children so every day is casual Friday but not sweats and unbrushed hair Saturday. Not everyone needs that but I do. It keeps me going and really gets me ready for my day.

 

So, if its a day where I have to leave the house, I put on street clothes. If I don't have to go anywhere then that is a sweats and no make-up day. I leave the house for some reason most days (soccer, dance, park day, my own classes).

 

Maybe start small. No sweats when you go out. Clean face with some mascara and lip gloss. You may find that that is all you need and want. Just a small amount of primping to make you feel like you took a minute for yourself.

[msjones]

An easy place to start would be to invest (as much as is reasonable for you) in a great jacket. By jacket I mean something like a blazer/cardigan. The blazer/jacket/cardigan should be a color that is easy to wear with lots of your tops.

 

Look at this cute one from Kmart: http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104_027B028715180001P?vName=Clothing&cName=Women%27s&sName=Jackets+%26+Blazers

You can put a beautiful jacket/blazer/cardigan over an inexpensive classic tee (long sleeved or turtleneck if it's chilly), add a nifty necklace (look at Target or Kmart), and you'll look super!

 

I'd also suggest an updated pair of jeans. They don't need to be expensive, but jeans in an updated cut and color will go great with that updated, well-fitting jacket and pull your look together right away. (If you're not into jeans, try the updated cut and color of denim skirt.)

 

Some simple ballet flats or 'riding-style' boots, and you're all set. Jeans, basic tee, ballet flats, classy jacket. It's a simple step up from jeans, athletic shoes, and a sweatshirt -- and just as comfortable and will make your pulled-back hair seem classic instead of ordinary.

 

You're right that there are lots of short or 3/4 sleeves this year. I think the jacket I linked you to may even have 3/4 sleeve. I have a 3/4 sleeve sweater and I just wear it over a long-sleeved basic tee. You can get feminine, classic tees in long or short sleeves at Target or Kmart for about 10 dollars on sale. I'd suggest several in white, black, and another color that you'll enjoy.

 

I hope this helps and that you can find some things you'll love to wear despite your small budget. I'll bet you can! Good luck!

msjones

[Peela]

I think Flylady helped me in this area, although I am by no means fashionable (as in, caring what this year's fashions are) and have no intention of being so. Sometimes by coincidence fashion happens to coincide with my own style, but that's about it. I like certian styles (fairly bohemian) and wear colours according to my mood- so my wardrobe is quite colourful but also has black and white and beige.

 

Flylady has you put out your exercise clothes AND your nice day clothes the night before. Then in the morning, after exercise and shower, you get dressed to shoes, and moisturiser and any make up you wear. jewellery, perfume, whatever. getting your clothes out the night before means you dont have to think about it when you get up (although you are always free to change your mind, which I have to remind myself sometimes).

 

The step of already choosing your clothes and them just being out there ready to put on, makes it quicker to get dressed and much easier to put on a little lipstick, eyeliner, ear rings, necklace, perfume, make your hair nice, whatever.

I think its just the little things that make a difference. Not wearing exercise clothes during the day. Jeans and a t-shirt and sweater are fine. I buy 90% of my clothes 2nd hand. Sometimes I write a seasonal list of things I want- I wanted another pair of blue jeans this winter, and a pair of black jeans (wearing black is new for me) and I ended up with 2 more pairs, just from going into a particular op shop while my kids were in a class. For this summer I would like a couple of nice white t-shirts.

You dont have daughters but my son liked nail polish on his toes when he was little! I only do that sometimes but it's fun!

I think just have fun with it and do it step by step.

[Wendi]

Last Saturday, I bought a very cute black jacket at Kohl's. It's a sort of heavy cotton knit, so it can go in the washer and dryer - no ironing. It's black (I think there were a couple of other colors), with large shiny buttons, and 3/4 sleeves that are straight until just above the elbow, then have sort of a bell. It looks cute buttoned up all the way (it's double-breasted) or partly buttoned, or open.

 

I wore it to church with a black patterned skirt and black top, and boots. I got SO many compliments! I can wear it with a dress or skirt to church, and with jeans or pans for more casual wear, too. It will help some of my short-sleeve tops and dresses make the transition to cooler weather (assuming it ever gets cooler here this fall - 96 degrees today!).

 

I saw several other really cute jackets at Kohl's today. They are having a really good sale - lots of clothes are 45-60% off, and there seems to be a lot on the clearance racks as well.

 

I also like to buy knit tops that have some interesting detail. They're just as comfortable as plain t-shirts, but look nicer. Jewelry helps, too, and it doesn't have to be expensive; I just bought a three-pair set of silvertone hoop earrings at Target for $6.99. I've been neglecting accessories for a long time, but I'm finding that a pair of earrings makes me feel more put together.

 

It doesn't take me more than about 10 min. to put on my makeup, so I have been trying to wear makeup almost every day.

 

Some nail polish on my toenails makes me feel more dressed up when I'm wearing sandals a lot.

 

Wendi

P.S. Kohl's is my favorite place to shop for clothes and accessories.

[joannqn]

I used to spend a lot of time putting on makeup...foundation, blush, eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara, lipstick. Then I quit due to time and energy constraints. Recently, I tried a simpler routine. I brushed on bronzer with a large blush brush, added a light amount of eyeliner, quickly added some neutral eyeshadow with a brush using a few quick swipes with a brush (those foam applicators take longer), and some lipgloss. It literally only took a couple of minutes total and a few people I see regularly noticed and commented on how good I looked.

 

For my long hair, I dry it with a round brush. I blow dry the bangs at the roots to give it some lift and then use the round brush to curl the ends in a little. I don't use any products; I hate products. About three weeks ago I went "no poo" (using baking soda rinse for shampoo and vinegar rinse for condition) and have noticed that my hair has more volume.

[Rosie_0801]

It's amazing what a pair of dangly earrings can do, even if you are wearing jeans and a ponytail.

:)

Rosie

[Alaska Mom]

It's amazing what a pair of dangly earrings can do, even if you are wearing jeans and a ponytail.

:)

Rosie

 

I'm with you Rosie - completely! I find that "dangly earings" just do it somehow! But if I'm really in a "plain jane" mood then naked ears is the only thing that works. The dangly's definitely bring on an attitude of "I am woman, watch them swing, I can do anything, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la-lahhhhaaahaa"....:tongue_smilie:

[PamJH]

with the no-sweats rule and the dangly earrings suggestion. If you'd feel better with a haircut, by all means cut it. Your dh might like long hair, but it's not his hair. My dd said that to me when I asked his advice about cutting mine. I also like the advice about finding one nice jacket or cardigan that can go with many of the clothes you already have.

 

 

Now for my rant:

No one on the planet looks good enough in sweats to wear them outside the house. This is a matter of preference for me, so anyone who does, please don't get mad. I'm a woman of ample proportions, so I wouldn't dream of leaving the house in sweats. At the very least, I wear clean jeans, my red hooded cardigan and a black or white T-shirt, all of it from Kmart.

 

My dd takes a course at the local college. I see many young women, most of whom look like athletes, who dress like slobs. Uncombed hair, ratty sweats and jeans, sweatshirts with stains and holes. I don't care how young and fit they are; they look terrible.

 

I remember reading an interview with student from Spelman College. She said the students there (all women) do not attend class without doing their makeup and hair, and they all wear decent, well-kept clothing. Why? She said students are supposed to be preparing for a professional life and the sooner they look the part, the better.

 

OK, rant over. Hope I didn't hijack the thread. I'm not even sure what that means.

[Laura Corin]

I make sure that at least one item of clothing that I am going to wear follows the line of my body: neat-to-the-body trousers with a looser top; body-skimming top with looser trousers. I also have given up wearing sweatshirts/fleeces. I find that a nicer cardigan/sweater makes everything else look much more put together.

 

Instead of folding clean clothes, I put outfits together on hangers, including a necklace for each outfit. That way, I just have to grab the hanger in the morning and put it all on. Then I brush my hair (I try to make sure I have a good cut), wash my face, put on face powder and lipstick, and I'm ready for the day. I have pale skin and dark eyes/brows/lashes, so I don't feel the need for more than lipstick.

 

My standard outfit is described here (from a previous post):

 

"I wear long-sleeve T shirts (mostly black or purple) with nice J Jill sweaters/cardigans, bought on sale.

 

Some of my T shirts come from Victoria's Secret: this may or may not fit with your idea of suitable. Others of my T shirts are plain, high-neck Ts.

 

I have several pairs of stretch velveteen trousers, bought from Lands End on sale - these look a little dressy, but are very easy to wear. I also have some stretch boot-leg jeans from The Gap that I like a lot: they are not cut low at the waist, but they are a nice shape. I don't skimp on shoes: my favourites are Eccos."

 

I wouldn't call it fashionable, but it makes me feel put together and lifts me for the day.

 

Laura

Edited October 20, 2008 by Laura in China

[keptwoman]

I'd so love to be able to wear dangly earrings!! My ears flare up within 10 mins no matter what I put in my ears these days :(

 

My tip...if you are on a tight budget buy 2nd hand. Either at consignment stores or at the larger, well stocked charity stores. For 5 years I didn't have enough money to buy new and I managed to clothe myself respectably and stylishly all 2nd hand. Our boys were at an expensive private school and the fees were killing us that's why I had to do it, but at least my clothes didn't stand out amongst the more well heeled mothers. There is a knack to shopping well 2nd hand and if you have a friend who does it regularly take them along the first time to help.

 

I got some What Not to Wear books and understood clearly what suited my body type. Then I made a list of what I needed in my wardrobe AND what I had already that was decent and that list went to the shops with me to help me with my search.

[Ria]

Goodwill and Salvation Army are great places to find good clothes inexpensively. It can be fun to check them out.

 

For me, getting better jeans was a good start. I got Lee Stretch jeans...they're just more form-fitting than my old LLBean ones. I got regular blue jeans, but then also got tan, khaki, light green, and dark brown. What a difference! Also, a pair of shoes other than sneakers makes you look a bit more put together.

 

Ria

[Tracey in TX]

A fun, flirty dress (comfortable, please!) is a great way to look dressy without feeling dressed up. Cute jeans with boots and a turtleneck can be suburban chic. My favorites are capris with a colorful loose top or light sweater. In the winter I live in velour sweats (which aren't 'really' sweats...!) or the jeans/sweater/boots combo. Light make-up applied daily (concealer, mascara, and lips or my face is invisible) and hair styled.

Discuss with DH a few hair styles which are low maintenance, but you would still feel comfortable wearing. Love bobs, their sexy and practical! Can go from a soccer game to dinner with a 30 second hair style! :)

[gandpsmommy]

I agree with the importance of finding one or perhaps two or three nice, classic fitted jacket/blazer/sweater type things that can pull together lots of different outifts. For the last few years I've been carrying around between 5 and 20 extra pounds at different times, and I've found that the right jacket or sweater can really help with accentuating the good parts of my figure and camoflauging (sp?) the parts I would like to work on. Try not to go for anything too trendy that will be out of style next year.

 

For example, a litttle over four years ago I found a great fitted denim blazer. It was a classic piece, so I am still wearing it four years later. I can wear it so many different ways. I can wear it with a white t-shirt and khaki pants for a casual, but pulled together look. I can wear it with a black camisole, a fun black skirt, and a pair of black, heeled boots for an evening out look. I can wear it with a brown top, a pair of dressy gauchos, and nice brown sandals. I have even worn it with jeans and an artsy printed t-shirt with flip flops or tennis shoes.

 

One of my favorite cardigans is a long, camel-colored, hooded cable one with hooks and eyes as the fasteners. I loved it when I saw it in the store and I still love it today, six years later. It is fitted enough to look very nice, but it's not tight, so it doesn't accentuate the few extra pounds I'm carrying and it feels very comfortable. I usually wear long sleeved t-shirts underneath, but sometimes even wear it with a camisole or tank top.

 

This year I found a shorter cardigan that I really like. It is very soft and comfy (even more so than a sweatshirt). It's charcoal gray, hits at the waistline, and has 3/4 sleeves. It buttons in the front, but I often just button one button, toward the middle, and leave the rest open. It will work great with a lot of different shirts as well.

 

So, try to find a cardigan sweater or blazer that you really love in a netural color.

 

When it comes to bottoms (jeans, pants, skirts, etc.), I like to go with a few really good ones in neutral colors. I have a few jeans that really have a nice shape, a pair of fitted khakis and pants of the same material in brown and gray. I have one pair of tailored dressy gauchos in brown. And I have one really cute black skirt that I just love. It has a playful ruffle around the bottom hem and and a belt-tie sort of thingy that hangs from my hip down to the hem. I've had it for over two years, and it's still my staple for dressing up.

 

Then, try to find some t-shirts, long-sleeved t-shirts, camisoles, lightweight sweaters, etc. in colors that you love. I tend to gravitate toward chocolate brown, lime-ish green, black, and occasionally a burnt orange or pink. I love the color purple, but I really don't own any purple clothes because it just doesn't look that great on me. If you want to go for comfort but still feel fashionable, try to find some long-sleeved t-shirts with a point of interest, like a button-up v-neck or a lacy trim.

 

When it comes to shoes, I usually find a pair I like and wear them for years. It's amazing how a pair of shoes can really make an outfit. For instance, last winter dh kept encouraging me to try to find a pair of dress boots because he thought they were very attractive and would complement my outfits well. Finally I tried some on when I had a gift card from Christmas to spend. I was leary of buying anything high-heeled because I usually don't wear heels. But it was amazing how put-together those tall, black, high-heeled boots make me feel. And because they're a neutral color and a classic style, they will be worn for years.

 

I also agree with the fact that earrings can really make you feel put together. I don't wear dangly earrings, but I have a pair of big silver hoops that really make me feel fashionable. I can wear them with a t-shirt and jeans or with a skirt and nice shirt. So, maybe try to find one pair of earrings that you really like, or a necklace if you don't have your ears pierced.

 

I also think that a ponytail can be okay. I have long hair, and somedays I just can't stand to feel it hanging down. I often wear it back in a low ponytail. If you really want a style, though, but your dh really likes your hair longer, have you considered getting one of those angled bobs that are very popular now. You can get it cut quite short in the back and then angled in the front so that you still have a bit of length and swing in the front. Then you would just have to blow it dry around a round brush in the morning and you would be set. I had something like it a few years ago when dd was a toddler, and I really liked it.

 

I'm no help with the makeup, as I don't really wear any. The only thing I wear is a bit of lip gloss now and then if I want to feel particularly dressed up. Dh thinks I look prettier without makeup, and I prefer not putting a lot of stuff on my face. I like to look natural. Now, I'm not sure if I might change my mind as I get older or not, but for now I don't mess with it.

 

Good luck! I know how it feels. I'm not always that pulled together myself, but it makes me feel better when I try. If I could only motivate myself to lose the extra twenty, I think it might be easier. Sigh.

[A.J. at J.A.]

who dress like slobs. Uncombed hair, ratty sweats and jeans, sweatshirts with stains and holes. I don't care how young and fit they are; they look terrible.

 

You just described how I've been dressing and I agree with you!

 

Thanks!

Angela

[A.J. at J.A.]

Thank you everyone! It is so nice to wake up in the morning and have all this wonderful advice to read through!

 

You have blessed me!

Angela

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

You know what, you've just described me, except for the hair which is mousy brown.

 

I've had a similar crisis recently when going through my fall/winter dressy clothes. Nothing looked right. Suddenly, I realized it was the shoes that were really off! So I found a pair of pretty, new black ballet flats at the thrift store and my mom bought me a pair of brown ballet flats in a different style.

 

I've got the same face problems too. This has mostly cleared up since I started keeping track of what I eat, and what I use to wash my face. I've noticed that when I eat processed baked goods with soy and/or hydrogenated oils, I get those breakouts of tiny red dots, especially on my forhead. That includes boxed crackers, cookies, and certain kinds of chips. I've started washing my face gently with baking soda and moisturing with olive oil. It's really helped a lot.

 

I also recently bought a loose mineral powder in my skin color and when I want to be "dressed up" I use this very lightly over my face to even out skin tone, then apply a natural looking blush to my cheek bones and eyelids, and smooth on a slick lip tint that is close to my natural color. This helps me feel made up with out looking over done, which I dread.

 

As for clothes keep your eyes open for styles that other people are wearing that you like, then look for something similar in your local second hand shop. The color suggestions by the other posters are good too.

 

HTH

[Veritaserum]

Proper fit is essential. Also choose items that flatter your shape. Missussmartypants.com helped me find the right styles for my shape. She is a friend of FlyLady. Her service costs, but has been so helpful to me. She also has a free podcast with tips and yahoogroup.

[Carrie12345]

I'm trying to get motivated to start looking, er, human again, lol. Dh has always been a less-is-more kind of guy, but I've pretty much fallen from less to none!

 

I'll never be big on clothes and fashion, but I think a good fitting pair of jeans and decent t-shirt are fine. Especially when compared to old sweats and a tank top. The real key, imo, is a great bra!

 

Make-up wise, I want to splurge on Bare Minerals, but I have been getting along fine with drug store knock offs. It's quick and easy, and I don't look like I've been painted for tv or a dance recital. Sometimes I'll even add mascara and lip gloss and I look like a real woman!

 

My hair is pathetic. Mostly b/c I prefer to color it at home for $20 rather than pay $200 for a color and cut (I'm also a dishwater blonde). I'm always afraid the hairdressers will laugh at me behind my back... or in front of my face. It's gotten WAY too long to make for an easy home dye job, so I'm going to have to bite the bullet soon.

 

I'm not interested in fancy hair cuts and I *need* the ponytail option. Plus, simple cuts can go longer in between than a fancy do. I just tend to go a little (a lot) too long.

 

An easy beauty tip that I've been failing on-

Keep good nail files around. I am fortunate to have wonderful, strong nails. When I keep them maintained, even without polish, I feel I look put together. Right now, my nails all vary in length and a few are chipped. No hair, make up, or clothes can cover that up.

[WTMindy]

I have exactly the same tendencies that you describe. If it weren't for my dh I would wear sweats every day!! My dh likes it when I make and effort to look nice and I want to look good for him. So, I took him shopping with me and told him to choose things that HE likes. It was very interesting. He doesn't really like trendy things at all. He prefers very classic (Eddy Bauer type look) and I realized I had been trying the wrong things. I also asked him what kind of a hair cut he would like me to have. I figured since I am trying to look good for him, I might as well find out what he likes best!

[CalicoKat]

Okay, I'm a very plain Jane. DH hasn't ever complained but I know he would prefer I dress more feminine & fix myself up (not like a model or movie star, but lose the pony tail, sweats & no make-up look.)

 

I'm actually very ashamed of my laziness in this area and went out to try to find a couple nice sweaters or something for this winter. We are on a tight budget and I honestly don't have any fashionable clothes that would be warm enough for this time of year. It was very discouraging. Everything that is currently "in-fashion" is either tight or not warm. Sweaters are either short arms or too tight or masculine. UGH!

 

Don't even get me started on my face (I have breakouts even though I'm close to 40) and wrinkles are starting! I'm very pale so the breakouts are a pink that really shows up unfortunately. My hair is dishwater blonde and has grey coming in but not too bad. I know DH prefers my hair long, but I'm thinking a style might be good. I always wear my hair up or back because I can't stand the feel of it on my neck.

 

Anyway, I'm not trying to diss myself to get pity. Just really really ashamed with myself right now and honestly don't know how to go about getting myself out of it. I've lost all pride in my appearance and am even more discouraged after my failed shopping trip this evening.

 

If you are somewhat fashionable and take pride in how you look, without being a beauty queen, can you give me some tips? If you are a plain Jane too that's fine...I'm not judging you. I don't really want anyone telling me it is okay for me to be this way, because although I agree it is okay if you choose to be this way, it is not a way I feel proud of and I WANT to change...I just don't know how.

 

Thanks!

Angela

You know I'm like you. So I just started with something simple--wearing an apron so I don't have stains on my clothing. Stains IMO make a woman look sloppier. From there it all fell into place. Taking a bit of pride in my appearance helped.

 

I wear pony tails too for the same reason. It's neatly combed but I think that for a woman of nearing 40 I might need another hairdo. :) I'll tackle that next. DH loves long hair so that might be a challenge.

[laughing lioness]

I just wanted to mention re-sale or consignment shops. In our relatively small city there is an upscale consignment boutique with name brand, beautiful, barefly worn clothes that are a steal. My dd bought a wool dress coat and a bomber jacket with faux fur last year for $30 (for both) that were in pristine condition. The customer service is great and the gal who owns it will go out of her way to help, and is frequently willing to deal if we buy a lot or if it's end of season.

She keeps an eye out for shoes for me (I wear 11's) and I've been able to get new Lands End shoes for $10-$15.

It's not garage sale prices but for the quality it can't be beat. We found it through an ad in the local city women's magazine.

...and a second on Kohl's sales = )

[5knights3maidens]

I agree with the earrings. I just got my ears pierced again after they closed up (after many, many years!). I'm almost ready to put in some "bigger" earrings. With my short hair it really makes a difference. Also, I might start buying some light make up for around my eyes. They are getting so dark underneath...I'm afraid to take my glasses off around people!

About dressing fashionable. The other day I had a jean skirt on with a regular top and my dh thought I was very dressed up..:confused: I like to wear skirts when I go out, but with sneakers or plain shoes...nothing fancy.

[OnTheBrink]

I just went through a revamp of my "look." I was tired of the same old things and I was still a slave to mentality I had when I was married: I can't! Meaning, "I can't buy a nice purse; he won't like it." or "I can't buy some of these nice skirts on sale; he'll want me to take the time to make them." or "I can't buy the coat I like because he wants me to have the cheapest one." And on and on.

 

So, I set a budget for myself and went shopping to buy what *I* wanted, and I didn't care if it was trendy or not; I just wanted clothes I liked. I like skirts a lot, so I got 6 of them! I got several long-sleeved tops (at Shopko, on sale) and a few sweaters. I got some "big shirts" to wear over t-shirts, or alone if its a cold enough day. I'm not really fashionable but I'm more put-together and I've gotten compliments on my new look. Maybe it's the confidence I have in them, because nothing I got is particularly fancy or cutting-edge.

 

Also, I'm large, so I think it's important for me to look put together. I think smaller people an get away with sweats better than a large person can. I don't mean that unkindly or in an accusatory way. IME, a large woman in sweats is looked at as a slob or a pig (yeah, I've heard it said; not to me, but to someone else), and a small person is just cute.

 

Either way, I don't think it takes much to look pulled together. Jackets, cardigans, nice jeans or skirts work well. My skirts are twill or denim, I just bought two pair of jeans, and I feel MUCH better about my appearance than I did before.

[TraceyS/FL]

You guys are killing me with these threads.

 

I have GOT to go buy some shirts. MUST.

 

I think i splashed dinner on my last nice white dressy tshirt last night.

 

I'm still in shorts here though, so i have to be flexible on the shirt thing. Here is hoping there is short sleeve ones out there. Maybe i'll run into Kohl's and scout around during art class today.

 

I live in sweatshirts - but i have a couple of sweaters that are old that i still love and i try to remember to grab and wear them instead when leaving the house in the winter.

 

OK OK, i get the point. GO SHOPPING.

[OnTheBrink]

You guys are killing me with these threads.

 

I have GOT to go buy some shirts. MUST.

 

I think i splashed dinner on my last nice white dressy tshirt last night.

 

I'm still in shorts here though, so i have to be flexible on the shirt thing. Here is hoping there is short sleeve ones out there. Maybe i'll run into Kohl's and scout around during art class today.

 

I live in sweatshirts - but i have a couple of sweaters that are old that i still love and i try to remember to grab and wear them instead when leaving the house in the winter.

 

OK OK, i get the point. GO SHOPPING.

 

Before you do, check sales flyers! Fall stuff is already going on sale to make room for stuff for winter. Most stores have their flyers online. :D

[A.J. at J.A.]

Hi guys! I fixed myself up today and actually tried on a new sweater that I purchased last night and I feel really good. In fact, the boys and I are going to surprise DH and take balloons in to him at work today.

 

I even did my hair and makeup! WOOHOO! I'm a new woman. I'm glad I like this sweater so much, it is a nice fit and yet comfy and feminine. :) I'm going to go back to Target tonight to see if they have other colors! and I need some simple long sleeve t-shirts as well to wear under the sweater to keep away the itchies!

 

Blessings,

Angela

[TraceyS/FL]

YAHOOO!!!!

 

I did want to mention the hair. I let mine go very long between cuts.

 

I had had it the other day and went - and man, did it make all the difference. Like you, i can't stand it on my neck - it wasn't long enough to wear in a ponytail though, so i was clipping it up off of there.

 

I've got a short angle bob thing going and it's perfect!!!

 

:grouphug: Glad you have found a place to start!!

[PariSarah]

Using the envelope system.

 

I need a professional wardrobe in the next year (my jeans-and-a-cute-top-to-class days are coming to an end!), but I don't have a professional budget for it yet. And I loathe clothes shopping.

 

Luckily, my mom and MIL went shopping together and got me two interview suits. So that took care of that. (It turned out great, believe it or not. My mom knows my colors and styles better, but my MIL knows clothes better. So between the two of them, they hit on the perfect things!)

 

But for the rest, I started actually USING our clothing budget for things other than kids' school supplies and diapers and stuff. I'm buying one complete outfit a season out of our regular clothing budget. It's money that we've always had budgeted, but it always got sniggled for something else, or for random clothes purchases that won't help me now.

 

I set aside about half of the month's clothing budget in a SEPARATE envelope (marked MOMMY'S MONEY ONLY--I do the grocery shopping, and you DON'T want to p*** me off!) and after three or four months, that's enough to get one decent outfit that I can teach in next year. I can mix and match the pieces with what I have now--the sweater with my jeans, the top with my denim skirt, the skirt with the jacket from the suit my MIL bought--to give me a little bit of a spruce-up every day now, but come job-time, I'll have at least four nice outfits.

 

And then, I've been taking birthday and extra-job money and putting it in motivation envelopes. When I finish writing Chapter 1, I get two nice blouses; when I lose that last five pounds of pregnancy weight . . . uh, well, okay, ten pounds (who am I kidding?) . . . I get a new pair of good jeans. Chapter 2 gets me brown heels; Chapter 3 gets me black heels. And so on.

 

So, you could do something similar. Set aside a little money at a time until you can buy one good outfit--with shoes, if you can manage it. And until you can buy the next nice outfit, mix and match it with what you already have. In between the nice outfits, use birthday money and such to buy some pieces that'll stretch the good outfits--maybe a of comfy skirt, or a coordinating blouse, or something.

[Ann@thebeach]

This has probably been mentioned but just in case...hit the thrift/consignment stores! I've gotten a few of my nicest and best fitting outfits from thrift stores. I don't really know many labels/designers but I know these outfits are definitely better than what I normally would buy just by the fabric, fit, and style.

You can get an awesome skirt and jacket for less than $10 in many cases.

It might take a few trips of browsing but it's worth it IMO.

If it's a smaller local shop you could tell the salesperson what you're looking for and they might help you search or even call you when they get something in.

 

I also agree about jewelry. I try to add a necklace and earrings when I'm going out and even if the outfit is jeans and t-shirt-it tends to dress it up a little.

 

Add a scarf and you've added another stylish accessory that's easy (and covers spills sometimes LOL) and can be gotten cheap. There was just an article in some style magazine I was browsing about scarves being the new thing this winter.

 

If you don't want to lose the long hair try headbands. They are in style and there are tons out there that are great for adults.

 

If you invest in a few good sweaters (remember-paying more will pay off in the long run since cheap ones will pill/stretch quickly) I'd stick with neutral colors like black, cream, brown, blue so you can mix and match with a lot of jackets or accessories. If you want some trendy patterns then get a few nicer t shirts or blouses since they will be cheaper.

 

And you can still wear jeans and look stylish but they need some shape! Try on a bunch at Kohls or where ever you shop to see the difference in how different jeans fit and look. I personally am sold on Eddie Bauer jeans because they have about 5 different "fits" depending on your shape and I actually found one that fits. Straight and wider legs tend to work for most people. Avoid tapered legs unless you are twiggy! ;)

 

Good luck!

[Happy]

I'm a recent and happy fan of 'Tim Gunn's Guide to Style' on Bravo. I believe it is based on his book of the same title. One of the things watching this has taught me is to LOOK at my body and find clothes that flatter it. For me, that means slimmer cuts through the hips and shorter skirt lengths (just above the knee) because I don't carry weight on my hips and legs. I have tummy issues. ;) No tight waisted or tucked in looks for me. No more capri's for me because my long legs are one of my best assets...shorts, skorts, and full length jeans.

 

I splurge on good haircuts and highlights. It works out to four or five haircuts a year, two of those appointments are for highlights, too. I have a simple short cut that can be ignored most days, but dressed up a bit for church and town.

 

Moisturizer, mascara, and gloss make me feel put together. Earrings are an excellent finishing touch. Even a tee shirt and jeans looks better once your face is framed by earrings.

 

Two things contributed to an epiphany of 'fashion' for me. I love all things French and read how many French people feel it is insulting to your baker, butcher, and dry cleaner to appear in front of them in slobby clothes. It isn't about dressing for us, but our neighbors. Second, if I'm thinking about how others perceive me, then, oh my, how are my children going to remember Mom looking? A few snapshots convinced me that I needed to get out of the sloppy tees and into some more flattering clothes. FAST!

 

Lastly, a few pairs of better shoes do wonders for a simple outfit. I wear Clarks for comfort with jeans or shorts, but have rediscovered the value and s*xiness of heels with a dress or jeans. Ooh, la, la...

 

Decide some baby steps..hair, makeup, clothes. Keep it simple and true to who you are, but enjoy being a woman.

[TraceyS/FL]

So i went to cruise around Kohl's during art.... found a couple of pairs of jeants/pants to go back and try on. ONE shirt/sweater in short sleeves. i was going to BUY IT, but... i walked out with shoes for the 4 year old :glare:

 

Anyway..... i concluded that Kohl's doesn't have much in the way of shirts/tops that are "me" this season (a couple i would have bought if i didn't live in FL).

[Happy]

So i went to cruise around Kohl's during art.... found a couple of pairs of jeants/pants to go back and try on. ONE shirt/sweater in short sleeves. i was going to BUY IT, but... i walked out with shoes for the 4 year old :glare:

 

Anyway..... i concluded that Kohl's doesn't have much in the way of shirts/tops that are "me" this season (a couple i would have bought if i didn't live in FL).

 

My sons shop at Kohl's. I don't. THeir clothes aren't me either. I have much better luck at J.C.Penny's...especially on Saturday morning sales.

[TraceyS/FL]

My sons shop at Kohl's. I don't. THeir clothes aren't me either. I have much better luck at J.C.Penny's...especially on Saturday morning sales.

 

That would work.... now that gas is cheaper it's not quite $6 to get out there and back. The Kohl's just opened - and it's now officially the closest store to my house in the shopping center!

 

I wonder if my grandma has any of her employee coupons for JCP? (she retired from there). I'll have to call and ask her when the next big weekend is for that!